AN AUTUMN SONGL Again the old heraldic pomp Of Autumn on the hills; A scarlet pageant in the swamp; Low lyrics from the rills; And rich attar in the air That Orient morn distills. Again the tapestry of haze Of amethystine dye Encincturing the horizon ways; And from the middle sky s The iterant, reverberant call Of wild geese winging by. Again the viols of wind Attuned to one soft theme Here, every harden left behind. Oh, love would It not seem A near approach to paradise To dream and dream and dream! Woman's Home Companion. t A NATURAL SEQUENCE I LITTLE girl stood In front of a rose-covered cottage pensively trying to bore a hole through her Happy straw bat with a amall fore finger. Opposite her stood a tow-haired boy, perhaps a year older. "I'm goln' away to-morrer. Blossom," announced the boy mournfully. "Are yer?" said the girl soberly. "Yep. It's an awful long way most 200 miles, pa says." Then, after a pause: "Don't see how I'm goin' to marry yer when I'm away down in New York." "O, soldiers is sent everywhere," said the girl wisely, "and nurses, too. I'm goin' to be a nurse when I grow up." "Well, I'm goin' to be a soldier, sure, cause pa said I might, and when I'm n major or a colonel I'm comln back with a regiment to get yer and " : "There's ma callin'. It's time to go Eddie." "Good-by, Blossom." There was a timid kiss and two heavy little hearts wended their way home ward. It was a terrible day. The hot Cuban sun beat mercilessly down upon the group of tan-suited "Americanos" lying flat on their stomachs, creeping, creep ing, ever nearer and nearer the thicket where the Spanish sharpshooters lay hidden, "Easy boys," whispered the captain; "Jenkins' company will draw 'their Are in a minute." With a sigh of relief the men lay flat. The long rank grass cut their faces and the yellow sand filled their eyes and added fresh agony to their already parched throats. Down at the end of the line a man was cursing because a sharp stone had bruised his leg. But their rest was only for a moment. Far in the rear they heard a hoarse cheer. Then a volley of bullets flew high over them, and was answered by the crack, crack of the Spanish Maus ers. "Now, boys," whispered the captain again. Over their heads the firing was fast and furious, but the little group crept on, almost to the very fringe-of the thicket . "Now! at 'em, boys," roared the cap tain. The whole command rose to their feet. With a wild cheer, they rushed forward. With hoarse oaths they threw themselves on the sallow - group of sharpshooters. There was the rapid fir ing of heavy revolvers, answering shrieks of wounded men, groans and prayers. Out into the open air ran the. enemy, only to be shot down by Jenk ins' men in front. In five minutes it was all over, and the Americans were gathering together to count their numbers, "That was quick work," grunted the lieutenant, as he wiped the powder stains from his face. "Where's Ma son?" "Where's Capt Mason?" shouted the sergeant. "Here he is," answered a hoarse voice, and a burly private appeared with his arm around the captain, al most dragging him along. The officer's face was white, and he said, as he clenched his white teeth to- nether: "I guess they ve done for me, Tom, this time." "Nonsense," said the,, lieutenant, roughly. "Up with him, boys; easy, easy," and as four of the privates lifted him to their shoulders they retraced their way back through the long grass to their own lines, and there, in the shade of the hospital tent, they tender ly laid down their burden and left him to the care of the surgeon, All night long they worked over him the doctor and a sweet-faced woman with a red cross on her arm. As the last bandage was fastened and the doctor rose to go his rounds he said: "He won't last till to-morrow." The nurse said nothing, but as the tent door flap ped behind him she muttered rebel Jiously: "He will last till to-morrow, and a good many more to-morrows." i Early the next morning the wound ed man opened his eyes, to find a worn- ian bending over him. He looked up weakly and would have spoken, but she jput her hand over his mouth, and said, quite caimiy: n umy Blossom (You're hurt, and I'm going to take care f you. I told you I Was going to be la nurse, 1 He smiled faintly, and fell into a gen tle sleep, with her hand clasped tightly an his. . Two days later as the fussy little doc tor came his rounds ne announced, (with a considerable degree of self-satisfaction: "Mason is going to live, Miss kjarvill. Didn't think I could pull him (through, but I did after all." ! The nurse smiled, inscrutably, ..but said nothing. They were sitting just Inside the tent idoor waiting, for orders to embark on Ithe transport. I His right arm was still in a sling, but foils left hand vainly sought to rest on - ihers, which she promptly removed. i "What are you going to do when you are 'mustered out,' Blossom?" he asked. . "I'm Miss Carvlll, now people are well again," she observed, speaking to no one in particular. ' "But I am not well yet," he objected. 1 "Yon are going to be. What's the mat ter? Aren't you glad?" she demanded, as his face fell. i "I don't know; that depends," he said, significantly. As the girl made no answer, be went on remlniscently; "Do yon remember MRS. OROVER CLEVELAND - inn, M r -i fii-a,,, - -' ' " The above picture -is rrom the latest Mrs. Grover Cleveland, who for two terms was mistress of the White House and recognized as the most beautiful woman in the national capital. This picture shows that Mrs. Cleveland still has remarkable beauty, although she has changed considerably in appearance since she was stouter and her features are fuller than However, the change has in no way detracted from the beauty of the ex-Presi dent's wife. She retains the beauty which years she was the leader of official life younger, and if anything more beautiful, the day I left for New York? You said we would be sure to meet again. I sup pose we ought to get married. We've been engaged most fifteen years." "Well, I like that," gasped the girl. "So do I," said the man' placidly; "there might have been some one else to marry if I had not promised you first." The girl's eyes twinkled. "You said you were going to come for me with a regiment," she suggested. His good arm had slipped around her now. "So I did," he said, meditatively. "Well, I suppose I shall have to if you won't come any other way." Then, as he drew the sun-tanned face close down to his own, he said: "But don't you think it would be most embarras sing nnder the present circumstances?" And Blossom thought it would. In dianapolis Sun. "JACK" HAVERLY IS DEAD. Kind id Generous and Famed as a Theatrical Manager. In St Mark's Hospital, Salt Lake City, "Jack" Haverly, one of the most interesting characters of the American stage, died. He had been ill for several months and heart disease was the im mediate' cause of death. His career exem plifies the ups and downs of life and es pecially of the the atrical business. Ac cording to bis own "JACK" HAVERLF. statement he. had been rich and poor seven times. r "A man ought to be ashamed to go broke the seventh time, now oughtn't he?" he was wont to say. About 1843 he was born at Belle- fonte, Ohio, and had to fight the battle of life alone from the start. As a boy I he sold newspapers, bananas and pea- nuts on trains running out of Chicago. . When 18 he conceived the idea of start ing a show and had the money to back his scheme. His first attempt was at minstrelsy with "Happy" Cal Wagner as the. star. Success followed and Hav erly adopted the policy of securing the best talent regardless of price. His headquarters were in Chicago, but he owned and controlled theaters in other cities. At one time hi sdaily income was between $10,000 and ?20,O00. At va rlous times his fortune was estimated at half a million. At the time of his death he was engaged in a mining en terprise, but It is believed was pos sessed of little, if any, wealth. - . He made money rapidly and in addi tion to being generous and a princely liver, was always devoted to his wife, and was noted for his sterling hon esty.. .".'-' TOM REED TOOK A CARRIAGE. Intended to Walk, bnt the Driver's Humor Caught Him. A tall, portly, dignified citizen arrived In New York the other day, and having WHAT PEOPLE OF VARIOUS NATIONS SAVE. Aa far as banking capital is concerned the United States leads, but in the matter of savings we do not show np so well. The amount at presint invested in British banks is $16 oer capita.- Denmark's savings work out at an average of $52 per head. Switzerland comes second with $39. Norwegians are third wth $26 a head, and then comes the German with $25. - . The richest nation of all. the United States, less economical 5 5 2 J DOLLARS 0"UATIOr( AS SHE LOOKS TO-DAY. and one of the best photographs of first lady of the land. She has grown her former photographs represent. . made her conspicuous during the in Washington, and to-day she looks than ever before. no luggage but a light traveling satchel, was utterly oblivious to the appeals of the hackmen as he emerged from the New York Central station. :- Pee thvanoo hotel? Fifth avanoo goin' ritaway! Fifth avanoo?" Mr. Dignity stalked right oh without word. Another knight of the whip charged down upon him. Say, Denis! Say, Denis? This way for the Say Denis!" No response from the traveler and not a muscle moving in his face. Then there was a rush of half a dozen. Kerridge, sir, kerridge? Wanter kerridge?" "Waldorf Astorier! Take a kerridge for the Waldorf!" "Holland House, sir!" "Huffmun House! Huffmun" "Broadway Cintril! Right' on Broad way! 'Ere you are, kerridge. sir?' The traveler loomed up like a ten-pin among vinegar cruets,- and with face as placid as a pan of milk was calmly and silently moving away from the crowd of hawks, who looked after him with something like amazement, when a sudden thought seemed to strike one of the knights of the whip, who ran after the portly gentleman, and, seizing his traveling bag, cried': "Deaf an' dumb asylum, sir? Goin' right up!" This was too much. ' Dignity relaxed into a cherubic smile, and the 'witty hackman had the honor and profit of driving Thomas B. Beed, ex-Speaker of the House of Representatives, to his home. Chicago Inter Ocean. TO BE IN CHARGE. Marquis of Cholmondeley Will Manage Kins: Kd ward's Coronation. King Edward has appointed George Henry Hugh, Marquis of Cholmonde ley, to the office of Lord Great Cham berlain, subject to the decision of the House of Lords in the controversy as to who is entitled to the office, there being several claimants by right of Inheritance. If the House of Lords confirms King Edward's ap pointment, as it is believed It will the Marquis " of CHOLMONDKLET. Ijliuiujuuueiejr win be one of the most Important men in London next year, for as Lord Great Chamberlain he will have charge of the coronation ceremonies in'Westmin ster Abbey, Including the invitation list - '- -'- ---' " ;- He Felt Safe. 'V Mrs. Slimson Don't you know, Wil lie, if you are naughty you won't go to heaven? - " "Oh, I don't know. " Uncle" Jake was the meanest man I ever heard of, but you say he Is in heaven now." Life; Many a man looks Insignificant when his wife is with him. takes fifth place with $22. Austrians are than Americans, having $16 apiece to their credit. At the lowest extreme of -the scale come, as might be expected, Russia and Spam, -with tho miserable totals of 60 cents and 50 cents respectively. I NEWS OF THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST A Good Week's Record of Commercial and Industrial I Progress and Development in Oregon, Idaho, Washington and California. Railroad and Smelter for Oregon Mines. The Helena and the Mustek Mining & Milling Companies, of the Bohemia district, announces that arrangements have been completed for building a railroad from Cottage Grove, Or., southeasterly, a distance of 35 miles through a region of heavy timber to the Bohemia mines. It Is expected i that construction work will be com menced this fall and that about half the track will be laid before spring. Connected with this, though not yet wholly arranged for, is the project of building a smelter, either at Portland or in the Bohemia mining district. The smelter enterprise is expected to follow the completion of the railroad and it is deemed probable that both will be in operation in less than a year from date. "We have gone so far," said Presi dent Jennings, yesterday, "that the rest of the work is easy. We have 1500,000 assured for the railroad, largely on the basis of the mineral richness of the district as shown by developments already made. Capital is eager to build an adequate smelter, but there would be no use for the smelter without the railroad, so the road is to go first. This is the natu ral order. I have not a doubt that the smelter will be provided when we are ready for it. The field is too important to be neglected and the problem of ore, fuel and fluxes prac tically solves itself here." The money for the railroad enter prise will be supplied by Eastern capitalists. Big Thing for Eastern Ortgon. . William Pollman. and a number of other Baker City men have filed on the waters of Rock creek, and have announced their intention to estaD lish a power system for the genera tion and transmission of electric pow er to this city. It will be necessary to construct a ditch about three miles long, to convey the water to the site of the power-house, where a fall of several hundred feet can be obtained, From the power-house, which will be located several miles from the city, the electric current will, be transmit ted by means of copper wire to this city to run mills and factories and light the city. The company, which is to be formed by Mr. Pollman and his associates, will expend about $50,000 on the power plant. It expects to have from 2000 to 5000 horsepower to distribute. This will be all the power that will be required in Baker City and vicinity for several years. The work of building : the plant will be started as soon as the arrangements for the necessary material can be made. This is a very important mat ter for Baker City and all of Eastern Oregon. . Will Handle Anything Afloat. The first section of the Moran Brothers Company's floating drydock has been launched at the company s yards at Seattle. The new structure is 200 feet in M hiSr at 'tnontoT era 30 feet high above the pontoon, which is 12 feet deep. It has a float ing capacity of 3,000 tons and its own weight is 2,000 tons. In its construc tion there was used 1,500,000 feet of lumber and 150 tons of iron. Centrifj ugal pumps, operated by electric mo tors, will be used to empty the water compartments by which the dock is to be lowered or raised in the water, together with any vessel which may be placed in it. " Work will immediately be begun on the second section of the dock, ana when it is completed the two will be used together, maiung a dock 400 feet in length and large enough to raise the largest vessel afloat in the Pacific ocean, while the addition of the third section, which is in contemplation, will enable the company to handle and repair the largest vessels ever under construction anywhere in the world. The Guernsey Does Things. The big whaleback steamship Guernsey, which was the first vessel that ever carried over 3,400,000 feet of lumber out of " Portland or any other Pacific coast port, left Manila October 15 ror Portland, under char ter to load lumber and piles for the Orient. Unlike the most of the lum ber-carriers which come across the Pacific in this trade, the Guernsey is not coming in ballast. She is report ed to have on board 1500 tons of hemp for Portland and San Francisco. The consignment for the Bay City will be landed in this city and sent to its destination by rail. The Guernsey has been in the service of the Pacific Export Lumber Company for nearly two years, and on her last trip across the Pacific made herself famous in marine annals by having a broken shaft repaired , and a . new propeller shipped in mid ocean. - New $10,000 Church: Work has begun on the new $10,- 000 church being constructed by the congregation of St. Paul's Episcopal church, at Walla Walla, Wash. The structure is to be of stone, and will be modern in every . particular. It will occupy - a pretty site near St. Paul's school, an institution of the church. It will replace an old build ing, the first to be erected in Walla Walla, which, with repairs and re modeling, has served the congrega tion for over forty years.. Gives Engineer a Chance. A locomotive Is now nearing com pletion in the North . Pacific Coast Railroad Company's machine shops at Sausalito, which, if it shall accom plish the sanguine hopes and predic tions oi us inventor, will result in a radical revolution in the construction of locomotives. This new mechanical prodigy differs from other engines in that it has the engineer's and fire man's cabs out in front instead of the rear of the boiler, thus affording the men in the cab an unobstructed view Northwest Firm to Dredge Manila Harbor. The Puget Sound Bridge & Dredg ing Company, a Seattle corporation, has .been notified that it had been awarded the government contract, valued at $2,000,000r for dredging the harbor of Manila and completing the old Spanish -breakwater. The com pany will immediately ship the neces sary dredging machinery and 1,000,000 feet of lumber to be used in construct ing scows upon which to carry the masonry for the breakwater to its position. The working crews will shortly be sent to Manila from Seat tle. - - Chrysanthemums Take a Back Seat. The newest floral wonder is the "Shasta daisy," originated by a flower grower of California. It measures a foot in circumference, and, when one was exhibited recently in a florist's window in San Francisco people lit erally flocked to -see it. it is really a new kind of flower, and has been produced by several years of crossing and selection, three differ ent kinds of daisies being used the common American species, the larger and coarser European sort, and the Japanese daisy. . There are three rows of metals nf the purest white, and each blossom is upheld by a single strong and wiry oieiu wiuua is neany two Ieet long. One advantage of the Shasta daisy is said to be that it is exceedingly hardy, enduring much cold, so that it can be grown out of doors. It is claimed that it prospers in almost any kind of soil, blooms all summer long (in California nearly all the year round) and may be rapidly multiplied uy uinuing ine roots. A peculiarity of this new and hen- tifur blossom Js that it sometimes shows colors, indicating that daisies of various hues and of gigantice size may oe placed on the market before long. To Open Boise Basin. The railway Droiect from Rnisn to the Boise basin is being put on a urm iounaation. a surveying party is in the field under the supervision of the chief engineer of the new company, D. O. Stevenson. It is now Investieatine th feasibil ity of a railway line in the More creek canyon from the mouth of More creek to the mouth of Grimes creek. a distance of about 21 miles. This Is a very bad piece of country, broken, rocny ana precipitous, it the railway is feasible here, it will be easy the rest of the way. The railway is projected chiefly be cause of the great timber belt tra versing a large portion of Boise county, which the line would tap. The mines of Boise basin, Idaho City, Placerville, Quartzburg, Centerville, Bannock, Grimes Pass and Pioneer ville would add largely to the business of the corporation, but it is entirely upon their timber that the business men at the head of the project figure for sufficient revenue to justify the line. . Made Some Pin Money. R. C. McCroskey. who owns and cultivates 1400 acres of land near Gar field, Wash., has finished threshing his wheat and finds that he has a total of 36,000 bushels of wheat for this season's rop. Mr. McCroskey's crop averaged 35 bushels to the acre. He had about 1000 acres of wheat, the rem'ainder of his land being in oats or other crops. He has figured 'all expenses of the crop just harvested and finds that his wheat cost him an average of 23 cents per bushel placed in the . warehouse. He sold 15,000 bushels before the beginning A , Vl l,nmrA4- iCI i U8hel elt is now 40 cente e- buahe, -nd ... M , the present prices Mr. McCroskey would net 17 cents per bushel, or $5.95 per acre from this single crop. But adding the amount sold at 45 cents per bushel makes the total aver age, if the remainder were sold at present prices, $6.87 per acre net profit. Multiplying this by 100 gives a total net profit on this crop of wheat or $6870. . Gigantic Steel Mill at Everett There is no longer any reason to doubt the report given out nearly two years ago that a gigantic steel and iron mill company was in a state of formation to build a mill on Puget sound. Since that time the coke and coal mines at Hamilton, Wash., near Everett, have come under the control of President Hill, of the Great North ern, and further and exhaustive pros pecting on Hamilton and Texacla islands prove them to be liberally sup plied with ore. Railroad and street car building in addition to the num erous trolley line projects has ren dered an enterprise of -this kind an absolute necessity. A plant to meet all the demands sure to be made up on it will have to be a big -one, the estimate running up to as high as $18,000,000. It will in all probability be erected at Everett, or in that im mediate vicinity. Cuts Out Frisco. ' The Western Union Telegraph Com pany will soon begin the construction of a new line between Boise, Idaho, and Pendleton Or. The new wire will double the capacity of the line be tween the places named. From Pen dleton west there are several wires, It is the intention to' put up another wire between Ogden, Utah, and Boise, and when that is up most of the through business from the East to Portland will come over this new wire instead of going by the way of San Francisco. Trying a New Port As an experiment, 2000 tons of Washington wheat was shipped, Oc tober 8, to the port of Callao, Peru, from Seattle, on the big steamship Memphis. This is the first consign ment of this grain ever made to this port, and the shippers are confident that the venture will, prove profitable, in which event other ports will be in vaded. - Boise's Public Building Started. The foundation of the new govern ment building to be erected at Boise City, Idaho, is now completed. Sup erintendent J. E. Hosford, superin tendent of construction of the govern ment building at Helena, Mont., is here and will have charge of the Boise building until another superintendent is appointed. The building is being erected by Boise contractors, the con tract calling for completion within 22 months, and the price is $286,000. It will be four stories, built of stone. ; New Dredger at Work. ' The powerful shovel dredger re cently completed by the Puget Sound Bridge & Dredging Company, of Seat tie, has started work on the new slip for the pier to be built on the ocean dock : site. Unlike ' the ordinary dredger, the machine has the shovel fitted at : the end . of a huge beam which is driven into the debris and mud by means of slots into which the play a rapidly driven cog-wheel. By reason of its unusual size the dredger is at present one of the water front's chief attractions, and draws large crowds daily. , . - - LET US ALL LAUGH. JOES FROM THE PENS OF VA RIOUS HUMORISTS. Pleasant Iacldeats Occurring ths World Over Sayings that Ara Cheer ful to Old or Young Fnnny Baloc Ueaa that Ton Will Bnjox "Why, may I ask," said the contribu tor, "do yon always put my name to the verse I write and never to the prose?" "Well, you know," smiled the editor, "we can't be responsible for your po etry." Judge. liife-3avln fcxrtion. "Don't you pay any attention to sum mer athletics?" Oh, yes; I often run a few blocks after the Iceman when he has gone by without leaving us any ice." Detroit Free Press. . - New Version. Mother Well, Reginald, and what was the minister's text in church to day? Reggie Ye cannot serve God and wo men. Bather Particular. Housewife I want six logs sawed 2 feet long, five logs 1 foot long and seven logs sawed and split into small pieces. Tramp Madam, I think you need a cabinetmaker. This is not in my line. The RewarJ of Perseverance, George I understand the Gottits had a hard struggle to get into society. Jack I should say they had! Why, old Gottit had to spend nearly four years in the Klondike! Puck. Now He Wonders Where He's At. Mr. Easee Dr. Newley says that eat ing alone is not conducive to long life. and I believe he Is right. Do you? Miss Passe Oh! Mr. Easee, this is bo sudden. Chelsea (Mass.) Gazette. Incredible. He This author should be ashamed of himself. A married man, too! His Wife What does he say? He He says that a man's wife 'gazed at him - in speechless astonishment.' Why, such a thing is unknown In matri mony! Tit-Bits. A Hustler. Madge Why did she insist on going to South Dakota to spend the honey moon? Marjorie So that in case they failed to agree the month could be counted in with the time necessary to secure a res idence when she sued for a divorce. Judge. Beatine Dame Nature. Drummer It just beats all. I'm trav eling for an umbrella house, and every place I've struck has been suffering from drought Inventor I am traveling with a rain producing apparatus, and every town I've struck was knee-deep in mud. Drummer I say, let's travel to gether. New York Weekly. Becna-nized the Breej. Hans Why does that old cow of yours look at me so closely when I pass? Greta She may suspect you are one of her long lost children. A Beal Calamity. The Father You have rescued my daughter fron drowning, sir. What shall be your reward? - The Stranger Don't mention it. I'll send you a bill. I'm a specialist from New York. : "Good heavens! I'm ruined." Life. A Sense of Fitness, Lady of the House You needn't ask for a cup of coffee; our gas stove has been turned off for hours. Tramp Coffee, madame, is out of the question. Have you any left-over sher bet or yesterday's lemonade in the ice chest? Detroit Free Press. In the Year 20OO "I fell you this literary controversy Is becoming fierce!" ' "What literary controversy?" "Why, over the question which was the best advertised novel of the twen tieth century." Puck. - Microscopic Metaphyslc. ' Mrs. Hoyle I can read my husband like a book. - Mrs. Doyle You must have good eyes to read such small type. The Smart Set. - - - . His Admission. " , "I hear that you are engaged, Gold thorp." said Sterlingworth. "Is it time for congratulations?" ' ; a "Well, I won't acknowledge that," replied the happy young man. "but I'm about to confer upon a certain young lady the right to select my neckties for me." - - t Of No Consequence, Husband You are as gloomy as an owL Sulking because I can't get you that new bonnet, I suppose. Wife No, I was only going over some old letters, that's alL It's nothing of importance. Only a fit of the blues. "What letters?" "Love letters." . ; "Some you wrote?" "Some I received." "Oh, mine, eh?" "No, some I received before 1 met you. ." It s of no consequence. None at all. How is your cold?" New York Weekly. ; - To Avoid a c-traln. ' "Feeling blue, are you, Mr. Light way te?" said Miss J Imp! ecu te, sympa thetically. "You ought to do something to occupy your mind." "I don't mean," she added, after a moment, "that you ought to work very hard at anything." Somervllle Journal. Too Dull. "Why did you leave the last place?" "There was no amusement, mum." "Didn't the family have a piano?" "Ob, yin, but they didn't hov a piece ar breakable bric-a-brac In the house." Cbir-ago News. Highly Colore! Reply. Hownder Say, old man, what make your nose so red? Kownder It's blushing for all the other noses that go poking into other people' business." Philadelphia Rec ord. Philosophies'. Here the man married; for be was aweary of working. "A better half is better than no loaf at all'" he observed, not unphilosopui cally. As Regards Age. "Her fiance? He looks old enough to know better." "Appearance are deceptive. He is, in fact, only old enough to be her father." The Poor Carthorse. Patron On what plan is this meal served? Waiter A la carte, sir. Patron A la carte, eh? That ac counts for this steak. It's horse meat, sure. Philadelphia Press. Untrustworthy. "But Jones gave you his word, didn't he?" said Frisble. "Yes," replied Perkasie, "but I don't like to take Jones' word. He won't even keep It himself." Out of Polittcj. pan 'An' so-.you's gone outer pollytics. erby?" 'Dat's me, Dusty. When de price of a free-born patriot's wote gits down to half a dollar it's time fur decent men to git in outer de wet." A Vodel nice Boy. "First of all," said the merchant to tne youtnrui applicant, we ii uave to test your ability as a whistler. Sup pose you try." .... "I'm sorry, sir," said the boy, ."but I can't whistle at all." "Hang up your hat," cried the mer chant, promptly, "you're the boy we're -looking for." Philadelphia Press. Proof Conclnnive. "Lida's new pictures flatter her like everything." "Why, I thought you hadn't seen them?" , "I haven't; but she told me she had ordered four dozen." Philadelnhia Bulletin. Widening the Breach. - "I wish you and May would become friends again," said the would-be peacemaker. "Well," said Fay, "if she'll make up, I will." "I told her you had said that, and she said: 'The Idea! It's easy for her. I npver saw her when Rhp wasn't iiiqHu up "Philadelphia Press. ; The Hiht Man. First Politician Well, they're going to nominate Mr. Miller. Has he a clean record? Second Politician Clean as a whistle. Never was known to refuse a cash of fer. Life. Would Carry Conviction. Prisoner Wouldn't It be better to let me tell my own story? Don't you think., it would be believed? . Lawyer That's just the trouble. It would carry conviction. Philadelphia Record. Could Stand the Loss. A moneyed man of Detroit was sur prised to receive a call from a rather1 seedy-looking chap an entire stranger ; the other day. Having satisfied the guards that he was not a book agent,' he was allowed to enter and state his business, which he had insisted, in or- -der to gain admittance, was Import-1 ant. , "Well, sir?" said the wealthy man,! expectantly, as the worthy stepped in. "Why," was the unabashed reply, "I'd like you to indorse this note fori me." The man of money examined the note-' critically, as he observed: "Why do you, come to me? I don't know you from Adam. Why don't you go to some one you know?" . "Well," was the cool reply, "I came to you because I knew you could stand, the loss better than anyone else I know of."- -"v ,'..." , The millionaire indorsed the note, after securing the name of the nerve tonic his caller is using. Detroit Free Press. A deaf and dumb man Is apt to talk straight out from the shoulder.