Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 27, 1901)
In the loins.
Nervousness, unrefreshlng sleep, despot
It Is time you were doing something.
The kidneys were anciently called the
reins In your case they are holding the
reins and driving you Into serious trouble.
Acts with the most direct, beneficial effect
on the kidneys. It contains the best and
safest substances for correcting and toning
"Tea." Miss Frocks went on, "Mr.
Templeton and I are to be married.
Why don't you offer congratula
tions?" "Oh, I've no grudge against Tem
pleton," replied the crusty old bach
"Snicker's jokes are very thin,"
"Perhaps he makes them that way
for your special benefit," suggested
"To enable you to see through
Springs of Mis-Conduct
"You haven't any manners, Jack.
Why didn't you offer to escort that
young lady home?"
"Oh, I have manners, all right,
but I didn't have any street car fare."
Safer on His Back.
Pinching-bug Say, what
you wear your fur overcoat
Caterpillar Oh, half the
balls we get now $re no good.
This signature is on every box of the genuine
Laxative BromoQuinine Tbieu
the remedy that cans eold In on day
"Pa, what is a lake, anyway?" .
"A lake, Jimmie, is a large body of
water surrounded by men, women
and children in bathing suits."
An Exhaustive Trip.
Harriet Harry's got home.
Clara Did he have a good time?
Harriet I guess so; he borrowed
half a dollar to pay the hackman be
fore he kissed any of us. '
" Well, that 'a the worst yet. " ...
"What's the matter?"
"My magazine poem entitled
'Baffled' appears under the head of
A Sure Result
"Say, old chap, Coffup and I have a
bet we wish you to decide for us."
"Why not? We're both friends of
"Exactly. ' So what's the use of
my making an enemy of one of you?"
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ease of Catarrh that can not be cued by Hall's
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props., Toledo, O.
We the undersigned, have known P. J. Cheney
lor the past IS years, and believe him perfectly
honc-abl in all busin-ss transactions and fin
ancial' able to carry out any obligations made
by taeir firm.
Wwr A Tbttax,
Wholesalo Druggists, Toledo, '.
Waldiho, Rinnan A Marvin,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O.
Call's Catarrh Cure itr,ken.n?:rnally, acting
Cirecily on the blood and raucous surfaces of
the system. Pri eTScper bo'Ue, Eald by all
drug: lata. Testimonies free.
Hall's Family Piii t. th- best
Farmers Fight Over Laborer.
Kansas City papers contain an ac
count of three farmers being arrested
t.li PrP wrtila fi -r Vi t i i nr nvfr t.tia twuoo.
. . "- .
sion of an idln man - whnm p5uh '
wanted for a farm hand. ,
How She Proves It
"Maggie says she is
"Can she prove it?"
"Sure. Her father runs-go-round."
Pride of the Poor. 1
Mrs. McChane (triumphantly) I
see ye are takin' in washin' again,
Mrs. McProudee' (whose .husband
had lost a paying job. ) Sure, it's
only to amuse th' children. They
wants the w indies covered with steam',
so they can make pictures on thim.
Eczema Bets the skin on fire. The acid poiso
the blood are forced out tVirrnitrh the norea of the
causing intense redness, burning and itching -So terrible
m the itching at times, especially when the body is over
heated, that the almost distracted sufferer feels that he
could tear the skin to pieces, and that he must scratch or
go crazy. He knows from experience that this only
makes matters worse. Vint tnide nesnerate hv the terrible
burning and itching, he is for the time being indifferent to after effects. There
re several forms of Eczema, the moist, or weeping kind, that comes in little pus
vuies wnicn discharge a watery, sticky fluid, which dries ana peels oS in bran-like
scales, go profuse is the discharge at times that large scabs or crusts form, which
are both, painful and troublesome, and not easily removed. Red, disfiguring bumps
and sores are symptoms of Eczema. The dry form usually attacks the head,
hands and feet ; the skin, becoming hard and rough, often cracking open ana
iMBMiug, wu ttuaiucu win! tnucn mrning.-
s-j. ABrno, jsnonuoo, ravn jJiego uonniy,
. Oal., writes: "Ity body broke out with a rash,
eruption whloh in spit of all efforts to our
entinued to Bet worse. The itching:, especially
at nirht, was simply terrible; It would almost
disappear at times, only to return worse than
Tor. Z Bad tried many hiajhly recommended
reparations without benefit, and hearing- of S.
8. S. determined to aire It a fair trial, and was
inexpressibly delighted when a few' bottles
enrod ma entirely, removlnr every blemish and
pimple from my body. Z shall not fail to recom
mend 8. 8. S. whenever aa opportunity occurs.
forcing the poison back into the blood.
vu v. uiuuuwu ui lmpunucs ana lumors, ana the pure,
rich blood that is carried to the diseased skin ouicklv allava the jnfl
opens the clogged up pores, and the skin becomes soft, smooth and ready to perform
its proper functions. To be rid of Eczema you must first purify and buUd no the
wwu, mju mvuuuk w piucijr buu vuctuiuij uocs uus BS 0. o C, IDe Otliy
teed ptrraly vegetable blood purifier. Send for onr book on blood and skin
and write our physicians lor any information or advice you may desire. Mi
advice and bookjrec, - Tne SWIFT
is best time to enre Catarrh,
Bronchitis and Consumption.
Our remedy U guaranteed, L
r. w. box 7Si
tU, SMITH I CO. Buffalo, H. Y.
, Gold Cure for Disordered Nerves.
. "That eastern girl who is suffering
from unstrung nerves made a mis
take when she tried to doctor her
"What did she take for it'?'
"Diamond rings and anything else
she could lay her hands on."
Don't Blame Her.
"Why didn't she graduate?" , '
"She got mad at the examiner
hinting, as she thought,, at her age.
He asked her what great national
event took place in 1860." :
King Edward Has Many Guests.
A very noticeable circumstance is
the number of distinguished people
political, official, diplomatic and so
cial who have dined with his majes
ty during his visit to Windsor castle.
This is especially remarkable because,
during the last reign, the late queen
more often dined with her family
alone in the small dining room called
the .oak room. The king, however,
has introduced the practice of having
a good-sized dinner party every day.
" World to End This Tear.
This is the recent decision of one of the
prominent societies of the world, bat the
exact day has not yet been fixed upon, and
while there are very few people who believe
this prediction, there are thousands of
others who not only believe, bur know
that Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is the
best medicine to cure dyspepsia, indigest
tion, constipation, bi'lliousness or liver
and kidney troubles. "A fair trial will cer
tainly convince you of its value.
. .. Very Blunt
"The editor is kicking about, some
of the jokes Witlittle is turning in.
He says - he believes Witlittle sits
I down and grinds them out."
"I don't believe it. If he was to
grina tnem out tney mignc nave a
point to them."
"Just walk this way madam, " said
the clerk who was bow-legged. '
"I'm er I'm , very much afraid,
sir, I can't, " blushinlgy replied the
fair customer who wasn t.
. Never Existed.
Jaggles Are his characters drawn
Waggles Of course not. ' He writes
TO CURB A COLD IK ONI DAT '
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
Irurgists refund the money if it fails to cure.
G. W. Urove a signature is on eacn dox. zsc.
Hence the Term.
Clarence Why do you say ; the
wedding was patriotic?
Algernon Well, the bride was red,
the groom was wnite and ner father,
who had all the bills to pay, was
A Conscience Document
'"That last cook sent us back-a
postal card." - .
"What for?" V -
"She said on it that we'd find three
of our - best plates at the bottom of
the pile stuck together with muci
lage." .. . , .-. -..
BEST FOR THE
H ytra baren't a regular, healthy moremeiit of thi
bowela erery day, you're sick, or will be. Keep yoox
bowels ODen. and be well. Force. Id the ah&De of
Tiolent physic or- pill poison. Is dangerous. The
fjmoothest, easiest, most perfect way 01 keeping the
vwgu clear uiu luean u m him -
Pleasant, Palatable, Potent. Taste Good, Do Good,
Nerer Sicken, Weaken, or Gripe. 10c 60c Write
for free samola. and booklet on health. Address
KEEP YOUR BLOOD GLEAN
Booker Washington says that dur
ing the early days of freedom almost
every Neero who learned ; to - read
would receive "a call to preach'
within a few days after he began read
ing. . He tells of a colored man in
Alabama who, one hot day in July,
while he was at work . in a cotton
field, suddenly stopped and, looking
toward the skies said: .: - :-, :-
"O Lawd, de cotton am so grassy,
de work am so hard, and de sun am
so hot, , I believe this darkey am
called to preach." -
aochu uepcuas upon a poisonea Con-
didon of the blood, and local
applications, while soothing
ana cooling, and may to some
extent relieve tne '""""miir
tion and itching, cannot
be considered cures, because
external remedies do not
reach constitutional or blood
diseases. Salves, ointments,
powders, lotions and soaps do
more harm, than good, by
emearinsr over and sealinir no
ttm, - B 1 2l . . .
S. S. S. antidotes and neutralizes the acid
SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA , OA.
CUStS WHR HI list FAILS.
k ji Best Cobgh Srrap. Tastes Good. Use I
m ma com uj uraini'BW.
- 4$W CANDY
ft y&U CATHARTIC ' ' yl
NOISY COLLEGE BOY.
AVERAGE SPECIMEN IS GOOD
DEAL OF A NUISANCE.
Kansas Juigt, TelU How end Why th
Yontha Get ThesoaolTaa DUllkaJ
Mucb Truth in What He Eaya Com
ments, However, Are Too Drastic.
That the college boy is often too ex
uberant all who know him will admit,
but that he Is as much of a nuisance
as Judge Frank Doster of the Kansas
Supreme Court declares some will
question. "Among other things," said
Mie judge In a recent newspaper arti
cle, "1 would reform the college s.u
dent or kill him off. I knock on him. I
know we pretend to dote on him and
affect to believe that he Is the hope and
nrst care Of the State, but It's a He.
We don't, t Nobody but his mother
does. From the time he first starts out
to render Gallia est omnia divlsa in
partes, t res' he becomes an Insufferable
nuisance. If at that stage of his ca
reer his own gall could be divided into
3,000 parts Instead of three and he left
with only one of them the relief to
mankind and to himself would be Ines
timable, because an infinitesimal frac
tion of the whole of what he has would
suffice the needs of any ordinary mor
Why do I say these hard things
about him? I say.lt because he Is
self-important, noisy, conceited, ignor
ant of all practical wisdom, parts his
hair in the middle, flaunts his frater
nity badge and school colors in an of
fensive, challenging sort of way In ev
erybody's face, and prances upstreet
yawping his ear-splitting college yell
to the fright and disgust of all timid.
sensitive folk within sound. I saw
him at the Twentieth Kansas recep
tion, a bigger man than Funston big
ger even than Gen. Hughes making
more noise and taking up more room
than the whole procession, elbowing ev
erybody out of the way and drowning
the voices of the orators and the music
of the bands with his 'idiotic 'Bock
chalk, jay hawk; rah! rah! rah! : Wash
burn, rah! Baker, hurrah!" or whatever
the infernal Siwash gibberish Is.
have seen somewhat of this world and
think I have correctly sized up a
good many people In It, and I give it as
ray mature and solemn judgment, based
upon a careful, unprejudiced compari
son of the many classes of people who
cultivate the habit of making a holy
show of themselves, that, with the ex
ception to be hereafter noticed, the
average college student is the most ob
trusive and elephantine ass that fronts
the grieved and frowning face of heav
en. I was a college student once mv-
seir. - : -
Now, I am not objecting to what this
creature learns at school. It's what he
doesn't learn that I am talking about.
He's lazy. He doesn't design himself
for any of the usual work of mankind.
Nobody ever heard of a college student
who was fitting himself for anything
but one of the learned professions, so
called that is,' one of the professions
of learning how to live off the balance
of mankind. ' He's going to be a law
yer, a preacher, a doctor, , an "editor,
an author, an orator, a statesman, and
no doubting thought ever ruffles bis
serenely egotistic soul that when once
he vaults into the arena of affairs the
things of this world will be speedily set
But when he finally does land out
the much-abused, long-suffering world
gets its revenge. The world just trips
him up and rolls its big self over him
and mashes the wind out of him and
then picks him up and chucks him into
a little 8x10 office, with cobwebs on
the ceiling and fly specks on the win
dows and two broken-leg chairs on the
floor and a dozen second-hand books
id a wobbly, old case with the glass
broken out, and. refusing to pay bis
board bill any. longer, goes off and
leaves him to learn wisdom from the
ant. - . .-- . ; ..
"Nor have I any spite at the college
student -1 only think he takes up too
much room and makes too much noise
and costs too much money and is too
smart in the budding days of his ca
reer. If he could only be Induced to
subside somewhat, to practice a little
the modest habit of self-effacement.
go out and soak his head, turn an X
ray upon his inwards and see himself
as others see him, we could possibly
endure him instead of filling up with
wicked wishes for his assassination.
But he won't," .- . : ' -
TAMAGNO GETS A REBUFF.
Tronble Made for Him in Paris by HU
Propensity to Drive Barataina.
Ernesto Tamagno, like many other
distinguished singers, is noted for his
prudence in financial matters, and dur
ing his stay in this country many amus
ing stories were told of his-small econ
omies, which were remarkable in the
case of an artist who has always re
ceived enormous compensation for his
services. ; " .. ' ' . ' i o
That his spirit for bargaining is not
altogether confined to money matters
has recently been shown in a fashion
that has put the tenor into an embar
rassing position In Paris. He went
there on his way to" London, where he
is singing at Covent Garden, to take
part In the performance at the opera
given In honor of the retirement . of
Mme. Laurent, an actress of melo
drama who has been for several years
at the head of the orphanage for the
children of French actors and has been
decorated by the government for her
efforts In this field with the cross of the
Legion of Honor. j -
All the noted French actors and sing
ers were delighted to take part. Even
Mme. Pattl, who was In Paris -when
the plan was proposed, said she would
take the role of Juliette in the third act
of Gounod's opera." Slgnor Tamagno
said that he would sing in honor of
Mme. Laurent .
But it appears that his passion for
bargaining proved too strong for him
and he could not bring himself to give
something for nothing. So he decided
that as it would be out of the question
to expect payment In money on such an
occasion, he would suggest the Legion
of Honor as the appropriate reward for
He adopted thls-course, says the New
York Sun, with the most nnpleasant re
sults. The suggestion was, of course,
rejected by the officials to wbom.lt was
made by the singer's friends, and Pres
ident Loubet was so disgusted by the
affair' that he refused to attend the
performance. The tenor also declined
to take part, as bis suggestion that he
would like the decoration was received
with so little courtesy. The result of
the matter was that he left Paris vow
ing that he would never return. The
feeling over the affair Is such that he
will In all probability never be asitea
to sing at the opera under any circum
stances. DEEDS RATHER THAN DREAMS.
Decline of Imagination and lta Most
, Noticeable Beanlta.
It will be difficult to impress the com
munity that humanity Is greatly the
loser by the decline of imagination.
President Thwlng of Western Reserve
University professed to regret mis
passing emotion In an address he made
recently in the west, but it was no
doubt largely a regret of the perfunc
tory order, and one naturally to be ex
pected" from a man of letters. If we
have In this practical age lost the
pleasures of Imagination, we have
through the Immutable law of compen
sation gained greatly in realization.
There may be no modern mind capable
of producing another "Faery Queen,'
but there are countless minds working
for humanity's betterment and weav
lng In place of the web of fancy the
staunch though homely texture of en
during benefit. -
The decline of so-called imagination
began with the decline of chivalry. It
went out with the false Ideas of honor.
with the vauntlngs of bedizened men,
with the bitter class distinctions, with
the contempt for the profession of let
ters and with the poorly cooked food
and other ..wretched creature comf orts
of that period of hampered progress.
In its place has arisen a practical
method of thought in which there Is
scant room for the dreamer of dreams.
In its place has come a higher regard
for humanity, a wider sphere for wom
an, a new tenderness for childhood and
general betterment all along the
marching ranks of civilization.
Imagination is a sweet and gracious
quality, but its decline leaves no void
In a scheme of life that believes In
deeds rather than in dreams. The
world may be too much with us, as old
Wordsworth said, but that was a poet's
protest, and poetry is declining, too.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
CLUBS MADE UP OF FREAKS.
Queer Association of Queer Individ n
a la in Some Parts of Europe. .
There have been associations of all
sorts of individuals formed in this coun
try, but none of them would bear com
parison for freaklshness with some of
Europe's clubs. At Hoogstraelen, a
small Belgian town, a baldheaded club,
to secure admission to which a calvous
area of twenty-one square centimeters,
or eight and one-quarters square inches,
is Imperative, has lately been founded,
Its antithesis exists In the Long-Halred
Club of Ghent whose members must
wear either a beard of thirty centi
meters (one foot) or hair of "twenty cen
timeters (eight inches) in length. "Les
100 Kilos," a Parisian club for which
no one weighing less than 100 kilos (232
pounds) is eligible, is in striking con
trast with "Les Fifty Kilos" of Mar
seilles, to which entrance is alone per
mitted to such as are over 170 centi
meters (5 feet 7 inches) in height and
under fifty kilos (118 pounds) in weight
For several years the president of
this club was a Mr. Be, who, though
aearly 6 feet, weighed less than ninety-
eight pounds. Two years ago, however,
he took unto himself . a wife, under
whose solicitous care he so rapidly
gained flesh that in less than twelve
months he was compelled to resign his
membership. Berlin boasts of a Big
Mouth Club. In the clubroom is kept a
wooden ball as large as & medium-sized
orange which every candidate .for ad
mission is required to insert In his
mouth before his name can go for bal
lot : In the same city, too, there is
One-Handed Club, composed only of
such as have - suffered the' loss of
hand. ? - ' ' - -
. Two Smart Women.
Mother (anxiously) I am told that
your husband plays poker every night
at the club plays for money, too.
Married Daughter That's all right.
He gives me all his winnings- "
'What? Do you "
'And he always plays with Mr. Next-
"What difference can that make."
"Mrs. Nextdoor makes her husband
give her his winnings, too, and then she
gives the money to me, and I hand her
what my husband won from hers, and
so we both have about twice as much
money as we could get out of them oth
erwise." New York Weekly. .
- Iilterary Cariosities.
The royal library at Windsor Castle
contains about 100,000 volumes, and
among them are many literary Curios.
A unique Caxton on vellum, the Bible
which Charles I. took with him to 'the
scaffold, the same monarch's copy of
Shakspeare, and an original copy of
JThe Faery Queen" are among Wind
sor Castle's literary treasures. The
King has taken a keen interest in the
doings of contemporary writers, and a
curious little hobby has been the col
lection of pen-nibs used by them. In it
are included a Browning nib, a Hardy
nib and nibs of other distinctions.
A Remarkable Family.
. Count B.; de Keratry informs . the
Paris Matin that his grandfather was
born in 1698, and his father in 1769,
he himself being born in 1832, so that
three generations have lived in the
17th, 18th, 19th and 20th centuries.
The Keratry family numbers oldy 12
generations from 1297 to the present
time, an average of two generations to
' Pretty Japanese Custom.
The Japanese have a custom of cele
brating the blossoming of . the fruit
trees by a general holiday.
For every humorist there Is In the
world there are at least a thousand wo
men who are unable to appreciate his
Jokes. ' -: '--:". '; , : -
How we long for another chance to
clean the mud off our clothcsl
Mas. Fk&xk Castcs,
t MarrUl Street. Amasburr. Mass.
Thim lottae mhould oanry Faith
mud Oonviotion to tnonomrta
of mil Siok Women
"I suffered with inflammation and
falling of the womb and other dis
agreeable female weaknesses. I had
bad spells every two weeks that would
last from eight to ten days and would
have to go to bed. -I also had head
ache and backache most of the time
and such bearing down pains I could
hardly walk across the room at times.
I doctored nearly alt the time for
about two years and seemed to grow
worse all the time until last September
I was obliged to take my bed, and the
doctors thought an operation was the
only thing that would help me, but
this I refused to have done.
Then a friend advised me to try the
Finkham medicine, which, I did, and
after using the nrst bottle I began to
improve. I took in all five bottles of
Lvdia E. Pinkham's Blood Purifier,
lour boxes of Lydia E. Pinkham's Dry
Form Compound, three boxes of Liver
-Pills and used three packages of Sana
tive Wash, and I am as well now as I
ever was. I am more than thankful
every day for my cure." Mrs. Fbank
Cabteb, 3 Merrill St., Amesbury, Mass.
Lrdlm . Plnkhnm Mmdlolnm Q-
Strange Lady What's the price of
the iron bedstead?
Dealer Twelve dollars, madam. '.
Strange Lady How much off if
pay cash? .
.Dealer .Madam, n you don t pay
cash tne bedstead is not lor sale.
The Best Prescription for Malaria
vmiiB ami r ever is a Dotue 01 trove's Tasteless
Chill Tonic. ItissimDlv iron and onlnln. in
a tasteless form. No Cure. No Par. Price 50c.
Mr. Brutle I'm going to - brine
Cadleigh home to dinner on Thurs
day. ;, -:- - .-
Mrs. Brutle Why, 1 thought you
hated that fellow so. Besides, I'll j
1 1 u a: rrn 1 I
nave iiu wu. biic uuiuci uii xiiureuay.
. Mr. Brutle Yes, I know.
Little Liver Pills.
Must Bear Signature of
floe Fac-Slmlle Wrapper Below.
Very saall aad as easy
te take as sagox.
FOR TORPID LIVER.
FOR SALLOW SKIN.
CURE SICK HEADACHE.
"I suppose," said the girl in the
pink shirtwaist, . "you have partici
pated in every form of-outdoor amuse
I "No," replied the' girl in : the
Gainsborough hat. "There's one
more river to cross."
"River? Oh, I seel The golf
The Kind You. Have Always
ture or JHas. 11. i ietcner, and lias Deen made under his
personal supervision for over 30 years. Allow . no one
to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
" Just-as-good " are but Experiments, and endanger the
health of Children Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTORIA
Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops and Soothing1 Syrups. - It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and' allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
- Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend.
The Kind You Me Always Bought
THC etNTftUft OOMMNT, TT
I n Use For 'Over 30 Years.
He Sell Both Kinds. n
Up on Fourth avenue there is a
storekeeper who likes to be right.
Over his widnow is the sign: "tra
cages and aquariums. " In the win
dow another sign reads : "Bird cages
and. aquaria." -The storekeeper
comes out sometimes, looks over the
signs .and chuckles as if having
dodged a difficult problem. .
"I suppose it is only a coincidence!"
said the young man who is anxious
"What is?" inquired the experi
enced friend. .
"The fact that most sensational
reformers have been men who were
so rich they didn't need, any more
money, or so poor they had lost all
hope of getting any."
Cozy Comers in the Home.
Church Have you a cozy corner in
Gotham Oh, yes ; my wife has ar
ranged two of them.
"You must enjoy them after a bard
days work?" -
"Enjoy nothing 1 The cat has one
and my wife's dog occupies the other."
Mrs. Hatterson I'm going to meet
my husband at 1 o'clock to select
some decorations for the drawing
Mrs. Clatterson What do you
want him with you for?
"Well, in case they don't turn out
right I can say it's his fault."
When Willie Got Home
"Mrs. Knox," said the hostess at
dinner, "your little boy doesn't seem
to have much appetite. " "
"No, he doesn't; that's a fact."
"Don't be bashful, Willie," urged
the hostess. "Won't you have
some more of anything?"
"No, ma'am," Willie replied: "I
filled up on cookies before we come,
'cause l heard ma tell pa that
wouldn't get much here."
FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
Beat possible to boild. Best material. Best pro
portion. Best finish. Lightest running. Seventy
years' experience. MITCHEr.t.
NTAVEk fjo., 1st ana Taylor is., Portland, Or.
A M& SyiJl Mm? TbC perfection of Wal1 Plaster, will not fall off, even
ST i mSM-kl wmMAm MM . though a leakage occur by the bursting of water pipes.
Agents wanted in every town?
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.'
A Horn School tor Boya
Mllltmrjf and Manual Training
rail I arm Upmna Sapt. is, IBOI
Wrlfa for lllumtratad Catalogue
Sf. Helen's Hall
A. Boarding and lay School for Girls,
Has a Nornal Kindergarten Training Depart
ment, which will have a separate residence for
kindergarten classes this Fall. The Boarding
Department provides a cheerful and well ar
ranged home for young ladies. For Catalogue
or other information apply to
MISS ELEANOR TEBBETTS, Principal.
300 Positions Securefl Yearly.
San Francisco Business College
1836 Market St., San Francisco, Cat.
FULL COURSE, $60.00. ?
Write for Catalogue. ; . ' , ."
: This is the genuine. It increas
es nesh on any part of the body,
develops bust to any desired size
and makes round, plump face and
neck. Bern ores all blackheads,
tan. freckles, oimnles. flesh
worms, and makes the skin soft and white. Writ
for agents' terms. MBS. E. JONES CO.,
Offices 610-611 Inter Ocean Bldg., Chicago, m.
M. P. K. S.
As. 34 1IM. '
yaKX writing t advertisers pleas
l f ibaution this paper.
Bought lias borne the signa
NCW OMK Cin.
SUFFERED THREE YEARS.
CATARRH OF STOMACH.
Miss Evelyn Morse writes from 651
Adams street, Minneapolis, Minn.,
as follows :
"I suffered for nearly three years
with catarrh of the stomach which no
to relieve, until a
friend advised me
to try Peruna.
cal, I tried it, and
found it helped
me within the
- first week. I
kept taking it for
Hiss Evelyn Morse.
that it cured me
am pleased to say
entirely, and I have had no sympt
oms of its return. ' I am only too
glad to recommend it." Evelyn
Address Dr. Hartman, President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
Ohio, for free advice.
A scum What are you so down on
the English for?
Cassidy Why shouldn't I? Look
at the stories they do be tellin' about
Ascum Yes, but they tell stories
about the Irish, too, which you say
Cassidy Aye, but all the lies they
tell about the English are true.
rOTJ KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TAKING
When Ton take Grove's Tasteless Chili Tonic,
because the formula is plainly printed on every
bottle showing that it la simmy Iron and Qui
nine in a tasteless form. No Cure, Ne Pay. &0c.
The Giddy Things.
Mr. Manhattan I hear you subur
banites go to bed every night at 8.
Isolate, (of Lonelyville, indignant
ly) It's no such- thing. Why, I
have an alarm clock to wake me up
in the morining and can't wind its
alarm up till the hour hand is past 9
j o'clock, so we have to sit up that late
every night except Saturdays.
Best and only
perfect blower cut
ler on the market.
Send for circular.
Mitchell, Lewis &
JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
root ol Morrison Street.
Can give yon the beat bargains in
Bnggies, Plows, Boilers and Engines,
Windmills and Pumps an 1 General
Machinery. Bee us before buying.
' Send ns your address and receive circular
showing what others have gained by the use of
THE ADAMANT CO.,
Toot of Hth Street. Portland. Ormoon.
BICKFORD, Washington, D. C. ther will re.
ceive quick reDlies. B. nth N. Tf vni flt.fr
20th Corps. Prosecuting claims since 1878.
?' Keeley Cure
Sure reUef ft om liquor, opium and tobacca
. habits. Send for particulars to
leelBj Institute. MOTldet.?If.t "J."""
Little Elmer (who has an inquir
ing mind) Papa, what is firmness?
Prof. Broadhead. The exercise of
will-power, my son. .
Little Elcmer Well, sir, what is
; Proff. Broadhead. The exercise of
won't power, my son.
; Stop tha Cough and
: Worka OH tha Cold.
Lsjatlre Bromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold in
one day. .No cure, No Pay. Price 25 cents.
' - - Losl Opportunity.
"And didn't you hear of
quired Mrs. Gabble.
"Not one word."
"Why, I've known it for a
so I supposed every body had
I-am sure PiscTa Cure for Consumption
saved my life three rears aeo. Mas. Tbos.
Bobbins, Maple street, Norwich, N. Y.,
Feb. 17, 1900.
Might Be Cheaper.
Tess So he jilted her, eh?
must have made her feel cheap.
Jess Not so cheap as he might
wish. She computes the damage to
her heart at 125,000. -
hy Hever Fall.
Almost never. Cascarets cure so large a per
centage, that they're guaranteed to cure chron
ic constipation or money refunded. DrugEiats.
10c. 2oc, 60c.
'Too Much Criticism. .
- "I hear your husband is ill, Mrs.
"Nothing serious or critical, I
hope?" . -
"Critical? I should say he were. .
He ain't satisfied with nothin" he
FITS Pi!?2"'.t, B- " r?w
?lt!rri.BSnifor fllKKa-J.OOtrUl tKrtll.dttmfc
Simple When You Know.
"I was up in the mill district today.
Frightfully noisy up there. "
"That's right. I've got a friend
who lives up there. He can't hear
himself talk in his house."
"My! Boiler shop next door?"
"No, He's deaf and dumb."
Mothers wiU find Mrs. Wlnslow's 8ooth
Ine; Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
A Matter of Policy.
"See here, Cassidy," said DeKan
ter, "I caught one of your bartenders
today putting water in tho whisky."
"Well, sor," Cassidy replied, "y
must understand that we have to
make some concessions to the temper
ance people1" -