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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 9, 1900)
SORROW IS BUT FOR A DAY. Let us dream let us sing by the way, "Sorrow is but for a day!" The world is rolling beneath the blue With ever the sweetest of songs for yon, And answered shall be the prayers ws pray: "Sorrow is but for a day!" The rivers in music say, "Sorrow is but for a day!" The hills and the rills the song repeat To the listening violets at your feet, And the high stars sing on their heaven ly way: "Sorrow is but for a day!" It is but for a day for a day; It will fade it will vanish away; And over the darkest the thorniest sod. We shall reap in the beautiful lilies of God. And the wearisome winters shall blossom like May "Sorrow is but for a day!" Frank L. Stanton. A Thunder Shower. J HE sun was shining brightly j when Lucy Manning went down- town, and it was oppressively hot, but she looked dainty and cool in her crisp ruffled lawn and white hat. Having bought a few yards of ribbon, a shirtwaist, "marked down to half," and an ice-cream soda, she started home. The trolley car was almost empty and she took a corner seat, near the front. Suddenly the sky grew dark, light ning flashed, thunder roared, and rain came down in torrents. The conductor struggled nobly with the curtains, but before Lucy's were down she was- wet through. She looked at her gown sor- "lHKBK'S THE GLOVE I LOST LAST WIN TER." rowfully; the color was running; it was ruined. She minded the gown's plight more than her own. "What a pity," she said to herself; "I was sure that it would wash." Just then a tall, good-looking young man appeared at her side. "Good-morning, Miss Manning," he said; "pardon me if I offer you my over coat. You will catch cold in that thin gown, I am afraid." Lucy drew herself up haughtily. "No, thank you, I shall do very well as I am." "But I insist," and LawTence Fulton dexterously wrapped the coat around her. Then he sat down on the same seat, but so far away as to be almost in a puddle. Lucy eyed him furtively. "I don't care if he does get wet," thought she. "Mean thing. I wonder how he happened to have his overcoat with him this hot day." Presently her conscience began to trouble her. "Mr. Fulton," she said, "why don't you sit farther over this way? You are in the wet." "I am perfectly comfortable. Miss Manning, thank you." "That's absurd," answered Lucy. "You are almost in a puddle." "It doesn't matter," said Lawrence. "Nothing matters now," he added, half under his breath. But Lucy heard him. although she gave no sign. The car sped three blocks, but neither of the young people said another word. At Superior street Lawrence arose, bowed, and left the car. "Goodness," exclaimed Lucy, almost aloud, "he has left his overcoat." But the car was already at Chicago avenue. When Lucy arrived at her getting-off place the rain had ceased. She emerged from the overcoat a much-bedraggled object. "I feel like a freak," she said to herself, impatiently, as she walked two blocks in her wet and spoiled finery, with the heavy overcoat on her arm. The sun had come out again and added to her misery. Arrived at home, arrayed in dry gar ments, and, happily, feeling none the worse for her wetting, she ruefully surveyed the overcoat. "I suppose I must send it back; he will never come for it after last night." She shook it out, preparatory to fold ing it, and a long white glove fell to the floor. "Why, there's the glove I lost last winter at the McDonald's dance," Lucy cried. "Stupid boy, to take it and car ry It around." But her heart softened a little. "That was the night after he asked me to marry him. O, we had such a good time at that dance." "Lucy, have you heard the news?" cried a younger sister, bursting Into the room. "Grace Anderson is engaged to Mr. Worthy." Lucy gasped. "Who told you, Molly?" "Grace herself. She was here this morning. I can't stay to talk now. I want to tell Frances," and the Impetu ous young lady whisked herself away. "And to think to think that I sent Lawrence away because I thought that he and Grace were were too much together. Sam Worthy is Lawrence's best friend, and of course he was nice to Grace. And he wouldn't tell Sam's secret even to clear himself. O, dear, dear!" "Mr. Fulton, ma'am; come for his coat," said a maid, at the open door. "I'll see him, Nora." Lucy gathered the great coat in her arms and carried it to the drawing room. "Miss Manning," said Lawrence, as he came forward, "why didn't you send it down by Nora? It was inexcusable for me to leave it on your hands, but I forgot r7 about it" BOAT THAT IS INDEED AflPHIBIOUS. This is a peculiar boat called "a warping barge" that is in use on British Columbia rivers. Navigation on many of these streams is obstructed by falls and rapids over which it is impossible for a boat to pass. The Alligator crawls around these obstructions in the manner shown in the picture. It is a flat-bottomed craft with a strong winch and cable in the bow. When it is necessary for the boat to make a trip overland the cable is carried out ahead and hitched to a tree, the steam winch is started, and the winding in of the cable pulls the boat ahead. "About me, too?" asked Lucy with a blush. Lawrence started. "Lucy, what do you mean?" "What I said. Did you forget me?" "My every thought was of you, Lucy." "Well, I forgive you, Lawrence. I don't like quarrels." Lawrence was wise enough to accept "forgiveness," and to assume that it covered last night's offense as well as to-day's." By and by Lucy asked curiously, "How did you happen to be carrying that heavy coat on this hot day?" "O, that's easy enough, dear. I was bringing It home from the office for mother to pack away In camphor or something. She asked me to do it way last April." "Just like a man," commented his fiancee, sagaciously. Chicago Tribune. POSTOFFICES OF THE SEA. How Mail Matter Is Taken Care of on the BiK Ocean Liners. A work with which but few persons are familiar is that performed by the men of the postal department of the big ocean liners. Twelve hours for each of six or seven days occupied in passage, they labor on a pitching, toss ing vessel in a small space about fifteen feet square and three stories high. Electric lights gleam night and day In the compartment where the postal clerks work, for It Is hard enough to de cipher the addresses on the foreign mail matter, even in the light of years of experience. The sea postal service is now in its tenth year and is in opera tion on twelve trans-Atlantic vessels. It has proven such a success and is of so great an advantage in expediting the foreign malls that the government is considering the establishment of the service in other vessels. The postal clerks are usually located in a small room below the berth deck with low ceilings and narrow berths. In this compartment the separation racks are placed. The compartment of the racks are labeled with the principal cities of the country towards which the vessel is bound, and It is the duty of the postal clerk to have all the mail delivered to the ship upon leaving port ready for distribution when its destina tion is reached. On one side of the room is a separation table on which registered packages are sorted and which holds a small pair of scales for weighing them and stamps for marking supplementary mail. One deck below, reached by a narrow companion way, are the newspaper racks great iron gridirons with big yawning sacks of canvas suspended be neath. Into these pouches the third and fourth class mail matter Is thrown with marvelous precision and rapidity. A trap door In the third floor leads to the cellar of the floating postoffice, one deck lower, and here the bags of mail are deposited when the ship leaves port. As fast as a dozen or so are emptied by the men at the separation table and distributed at the cases, another bunch is hauled up. Thus hour after hour, in fair weather and foul, toil the men who earn their livelihood by facilitating the exchange of news, of business matters and other expressions of the human emotions. It Is no sinecure to hold the position of postal clerk and great ex perience is necessary to enable one to fill the place properly. The worth of good men is appreciated and the gov ernment pays well for service in this line. , STYLISH HATS INTERIOK VIEW OF A SEA POSTOFFICE. ARE AUTHORIZED BY LAW. Traces' Organizations Have a Lesal Standins in New Zealand. Trade and labor are organized throughout New Zealand, and as such are recognized and legalized by the state in the act of 1894, says the Lon don Daily Mail. The very title of that act, though not changed, originally rah: "An act to encourage the formation of industrial unions;" and the whole spirit of the movement is that both employers and workmen should form their unions and associations on representative lines under the provisions of the act, and that all questions should be dealt with by the unions and societies up to a cer tain stage, and then brought by them, and them only, before the boards of conciliation, and ultimately, if neces sary, to the arbitration court. The trade and industrial unions of New Zealand are required to comply with all the ordinary business safe guards which should surround the cor porate bodies which they form, and then but not till then they are registered by the state and placed in a position to act and be heard in Industrial disputes. Penalties are attached to all breaches of the provisions controlling the unions, and in some cases to enforce the award of the court they are heavy, the maxi mum being500foreach union,nd fail ing the recovery of this there falls a maximum liability of 10 on each mem ber of it. The effect of this registration is to make the union and all its members subject to the jurisdiction established by the act, and although the registra tion may be cancelled on the applica tion of any union, this is done under due safeguards; and no cancellation Is permited during the progress of any conciliation or arbitration proceedings affecting the union which applies. Neither does such cancellation relieve any union or its members from obliga tions incurred in any previous award of the court. No workman may leave his work, or employer lock out his work men during a dispute. A Singular Occupation. There is a celebrated cook in London about whom it is said that he makes an income of over ten thousand dollars a year. He is attached to no house, but In his own brougham sets out toward evening for the house of some rich man who is going to give a dinner, at which every dish must be above criticism. Here he alights, and, mak ing for the kitchen, goes through the process of tasting all the soups, sauces and made dishes advising when his palate suggests a little more salt here, a pinch of herbs there, a dash of sugar In this entree, a suspicion of onion In that salmis, etc. This done, he pockets his fee of twenty-five dollars and drives on to the next dinner-giving patron who has bidden him to his feast in this strange fashion. His nightly list com prises many houses all through the London season. Siberian Gold. There are now about 40,000 miners at work in the gold, mines of Siberia. The grains of Siberian gold are said to be on an average larger than those of any other part of the world. A great deal is said about the notori ous lack of moral courage in men. The women are nearly as bad; when a.wom an is carrying a package of dry goods, and goes into a rival store, shy nearly always hides it. FOR FALL, OUR BUDGET OP FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed to Have Been Recently Born Say ings and Doings that Are Old, Curious and Laughable -The Week's Humor. Old Lawyer How'd I get my start? Well, shortly after I was called to the bar a rich uncle died and I came into possession of a cool hundred thousand. Young Lawyer (in surprise) But I never knew you had a rich uncle. Old Lawyer I didn't say I did; it was a client's rich uncle who died. Puck. Ideal Happiness. She What was the happiest moment of your life? He Well, I think it was one evening last week when I entered the parlor of my boarding house and saw a strange sign on the piano. She Indeed! And the sign? He "Closed for Repairs." What Can Yon Expect? Maudey I hear youse is engaged ter git married. Mickey Well, wot's er man ter do when he's out er work an' desprit? Query. Guard Somebody jumped off the bridge, but I don't know if it was a man or woman. Friend But you say you found some of their clothes. Can't you tell by them? Guard No, I only found a shirt waist. Chicago News. Legerdemaia. v . Mrs. Von Blunrer Dear, dear, I dropped my diamond ring off my finger this morning and I cannot find it any where. Von Blumer It's all right, I came across it in one of. my trousers' pockets. Harper's Bazar; Equivocal. "Rastns, are you really as fond of watermelon as they say you are?" "Who, me? Watermelon? I des can't a-bear it in my sight!" Indianap olis Press, i : - ' ' - Not the Same. Friend Did Fortune smile on you? Rejected Suitor Well, she gave me the laugh, if that's what you mean. Syracuse Herald. Mot Exactly. When a man drinks like a fish it doesn't follow that he's in the swim. Philadelphia Record. No End to It. Amateur Sportsman Is this a good place to hunt for reedies? Native You bet.' You could hunt here straight ahead for a wek.4 Amateur Sportsman You don't mean it, really? Native Yes, 'cause you'd never find any. Philadelphia Press. Melancholy Mudd And I can't hold more than half of it! Failed to Turn It Down. Tess I never saw anyone so slow as Mr. Timrus. Jess He is slow, isn't he? Tess Awfully. We were sitting in the parlor last night, and he suddenly said: "If you could only see how much I love you I'm sure you'd let me kiss you." I told him "I couldn't see it in that light," and he just sat there like a stick. Philadelphia Press. The Difference. "The difference between the cow and the milkman," said the gentleman with a rare memory for jests, "is that the cow gives pure milk." "There Is another difference," retort ed the milkman. "The cow doesn't give credit." Indianapolis Press. Nothing Doinsr. Biggs Hello, Boggst Just the man I wanted to see! I'm just back from the Paris Exposition, and Boggs Sorry, old man, but I haven't got a cent! As to Popularity. Summer Boarder Your charges are exorbitant Landlord Jes' so. "But you advertised popular prices." "Yes, they seem to be popular. The house is full right along." New York Weekly. Her Preference. Jack Don't you think that woman, as a rule, prefers a man who is her master? Ethel Not at aH. She prefers one wAo thinks he is The Smart Set Sad Fate of Ancestors. "I teU you, golf is going to be the sal vation of the nation. It is going to make athletic men and women out of our puny offsprings and lengthen our days by decades." "But our ancestors didn't go in for golf." "And where are they now? Dead! AH dead!" Boston Journal. Of Lo n j-: n e. "Darling, you ought not to be seasick yet We are not nearly out of sight of land. Look and see!" "I see it, mamma. That's what makes me want to die!" Chicago Tribune. Hts Idea of institutions. The Orator My friends, the trusts are engaged in a dastardly attempt to destroy our institutions! Weary Watkins Well, I hope they'll stop at tearin' down the penitentiaries an' leave the porehouses alone. Too Many Cooks. Aunt Mallndy laid down her rolling pin, set her hands on her hips and de livered herself of this proud bit of wis dom: "Great trouble in dis world is, dey is too many people who don't know enough to be fust cook an' knows too much to be second." Indianapolis Press. Took After Papa. Sister-in-law How like his father the baby is! Mother He's certainly like him in some ways. He generally keeps me up half the night. Punch. Must Be Broad-Minded, Mrs. Dinks Isn't Colonel De Fite a very broad-minded man ? Mrs. Links I supposed he must be; the jokes he gets off are always so ex tremely broad. Detroit Free Press. A Tip Exclusively for Married Men. Mrs. Henpeck I have no control over my husband at all any more. Mrs. Wunder What's wrong? Mrs. Henpeck He secured a certified copy of the census enumerator's rec ord, showing that I had given his name as the head of the family. Baltimore American. No Matches Needed. "Mamma, I heard somebody to-day say that matches were made In heav- en;. how about that?" "I believe that is the fact, Willie." "Well, what in thunder do they want matches there for if there's going to be no night there?" Yonkers States man. Old Sea Dog. "There are so many barks on the sea," remarked the girl who was lean ing over the rail. "Perhaps they come from the ocean greyhounds," ventured her tall com panions'Philadelphia Record. . Evidence. Bess They say Maud Goody kissed a man at the Joneses' lawn party the other night. Jack That's true. Bess How do you know? Jack I had it from her own Hps. Philadelphia Press. Mistaken Identity. "Your honor," said the lawyer, "my client acknowledges that she struck the book agent with a piece of gas pipe, but she pleads that it. was a case of mistaken Identity," "How's that?" asked the judge. "Well, she thought it was her hus band." Baltimore American. Can't Touch Him. Smythe My wife dropped In to see me at the office tOrday and Browne Sorry, old man, but my wife saw me before I left home. I haven't a cent to lend. Philadelphia Press. Had a New Start. McJigger Jigsby's turned over a new leaf. He says hereafter he's going to work with a will. Thingumbob Yes, he has to; he was left out of his rich uncle's. Philadel phia Press. Should Have Suspected. Towne That was a rather disreputable-looking man you just spoke to. Browne Sir. That was my brother. Towne Oh! beg pardon. I migh have known that Philadelphia Press Both Felt the Loss. Watts I think 1 feel as bad as Mudge does over his losing his job. Potts I feel worse he has already touched me for $10. Indianapolis Press. A Partnership Concern. "Are you interested in your wife'i Indian corner?" "Yes; I get off war whoops over the money she spends." Indianapolis Jour nal. Knew the Gun. Sympathizing Friend Weren't you awfully scaied when you saw that the fellow took aim at you with a gun? Pawnbroker's Man I was at first until I recognized the weapon as one I had sold the day before. Then I saileu ! in nml knocked the stuffing out of him Unsatisfactory From the Start. "Well, what about the new neigh bors?" "Oh, Edgar, it was the meanest mov-ing-in I ever saw. Everything was boxed and barreled up so I couldn't see a thing they have." Was Too Mild. "I'm writing to Sam about his hay fever." "Why, what of It?? "Why, when he was here I thought he made too much fuss about it; now I have it myself, I want to tell him that he didn't make half fuss enough." Indianapolis Journal. When Missionary Boxes Are an Insult. There have been missionary boxes sent to the heroes and heroines of the church, fighting her battles in the van, that have done more harm than g&od, in hurt pride and damaged self-respect. To a lady and a gentleman I use the terms advisedly were sent clothing, old shoes, old hats, old collars, cravats, gloves, fit only for the ragbag. Ashamed to send them anywhere else, the donors sent them to the unknown missionaries, and as everything that came to the church to be sent was jammed in with out care or discrimination, the arrival of the box partook of the natiire of an insult to these heroic, gently-bred peo ple. Fortunately this state of affairs is not often found; it ought never to be. Ladies Home Journal. Oysters Must Have Salt. Oysters cannot live in the Baltic Sea. The reason is that It is not salty enough. They can only Uve In water that contains at least thirty-seven parts of salt in every 1,000 parts of water. Little girls and boys don't know what trouble is. Why, you can pull their teeth with a thread! STRUCK EDUCATED CHINAMAN. The Mistake of a Green Reporter In Getting- an Interview. Numberless are the tricks whlcl newspaper reporters play upon one an other to.relieve the somber "grind" of their calling. Two young men employ ed on a morning paper in a large city were detailed one day to call upon the resident Chinamen and "interview" them respecting some immigration measure then pending in Congress. One of the two reporters was a beginner and the other, an experienced man, natur ally assumed the management of the assignment "Billings," he said, after they had in vaded several laundries without any important result, "here Is a tea store. I wish you would go in and talk with the proprietor. I want to know what he thinks about Chinamen voting. I'll go and pull off an interview with the man who runs this cigar shop next door. Remember to use the very sim plest English at your command." The young reporter went Inside the tea store, took out his notebook and thus addressed the proprietor, who hap pened to be alone at the moment: "John, how ? Me me Telegraph, John! Newspape savvy, John? News pape print things. Un'stan'? Me want know what John think about Chinamen vote, see? What John think China man vote all same Melican man? Sav vy, John? Vote? What think?" The Chinaman listened to him with profound gravity until he had finished, and replied: "The question of granting the right of suffrage to Chinese citizens who have come to the United States with the avowed intention of making this coun try their permanent home is one that has occupied the attention of thought ful men of aH parties for years, and it may become In time one of paramount importance. At present, however, it seems to me there Is no exigency re quiring an expression of opinion from me upon this subject. You will please excuse me." The young reporter went outside and leaned against a lamp post to rest and recover from a sudden falntness that had taken possession of him. His com rade had purposely "steered him against" one of the best educated Chi namen in the United States. Youth's Companion. Bird Music. In bis "Recollections of an Old Mu sician," Mr. Thomas Ryan tells of the effect produced by a violinist on a fam ily party of Indians who occupied the front seats at a concert in Topeka, Kan. I was told there was a father with six sons in the party, all very large broad-shouldered men. They filed quietly Into their seats, preceded by a local guide, in whose hands they seem- sd like good, docile children. One can never know what they thought of us, but one can do something in the way of inference. They sat quite immovable in their seats, with their ox- llke eyes fixed on our party while we played serious music. No shadow of -motion could be seen on their coun tenances. The fifth number of the program was a violin solo by Mr. Schultze, and for an ncore he gave a little caprice, entitled 'The Bird in the Tree." . The moment Mr. Schultze began this piece the In dians wTere all alive, their eyes sparkled with pleasure, and they nudged each ather with their elbows; and when the little bird melody and imitations of bird-singing began they looked aH iround the ceiling and the walls, doubt less expecting to see singing birds flit ting about. Not seeing any, they looked at the violinist and began to. understand that le was the magician. The surprise, and ilmost incredulity, depicted on the faces of these children of nature was a rare show in itself. At its conclusion they jumped up and down, Just as little hildren do 'when something unusual pleases them. Opportunities in Samoa. Somewhere in that mysterious part of the South Pacific Ocean, where one day merges into another to keep chronom eters straight and to keep mankind from trouble In marking the flight of years, lie the Samoan Islands, three in number, of which the smallest. Tutu ilia, is the property of the United States. The recent division of the Isl ands, which are connected with the United States and with Australia and New Zealand by regular mall steamers, has assured their future. Tutuilla, which is as large as the State of Rhode Island, contains many acres of the rich est soil, and would make a fruitful dwelling place for 100,000 ambitious men. It could be converted into vast plantations of coffee, vanilla, tobacco, cocoa-nuts and dozens of other native products, while a thriving town could be made to flourish beneath the flower clad trees on the beach. Apia, in Samoa, is one of the most prosperous towns in the south seas, and its future is assured. It was in the hills north of this place that Robert Louis Stevenson, after roaming the earth for a paradise, found one. It wa. there he died. Success. Russians Praised. A writer in the Contemporary Review passes this strong eulogy on the charac ter of the Russians: "I found that the Russians by temperament were with out exception the gentlest most easy erninsr and humane nation in Europe, and I have seen them all. Their defects are many, but the leading feature in the Russian character, high and low. which stands above faults of which they have their full share, is an enthusisastic, generous humanity, easily moved to :irinss and tears: full of expansive gratitude for kindness; free from mean ness, nettiness. and cunning greed. In short, it struck me, the more I contem plated the Russian character, that they were the only people In Europe who possessed several of the better charac teristics of ourselves. The Russians are not so fond of fair play, not so truthful, not so energetic, not so manly as we an": hut. on the other band, they are Hess hypocritical, more truly modest, krentler. more tender, more truly re ligious, more humane, and less brutal land violent in every way. A boarding house keeper who buys .the best butter, never gets credit for anything but butterine. Experience is the pay a man gets for making a fool of himself. COMB TO APPLY CURATIVES. English Device for Treating the Scalp with Liquids. With the use of the appliance here illustrated curative essences of solu tions can be applied to the scalp with out moistening the hair above the roots. The back of the comb consists of a curved metal tube closed at both ends by screw stoppers, which can be removed to facilitate cleaning. The teeth are so many tapering tubes, screwed or soldered into holes in one side of the back, and from the center ENGLISH DEVICE FOR TREATtNG SCALP. of the opposite side of the tube extends a screw socket, to which a nozzle car rying a flexible ball can be attached. The extremities of the tubes forming the teeth are preferably slightly fused, so as to form around them small thick ened rings to prevent their scratching the scalp. The nozzle is of such a length that it can be held firmly be tween the thumb and forefinger, while the bulb can be placed in the palm of the hand and squeezed with the other fingers to force the liquid through the teeth on to the scalp. The inventor of this appliance is Henri P. De VogeJ -f Surbiton, England. Laurence Hutton is preparing a vol ume of papers to be called "A Group ol Players and Other Sketches." Hervey White, author of "Differ ences," has two new books ready for publication "Quicksands," a novel, and a volume of short stories. Gelett Burgess is to call his new col lection of verse, consisting largely of lyrics from that defunct eccentricity, "The Lark," by the title of "A Gage of Youth." Some hitherto unpublished verses are included in the volume. Like forensic eloquence, judicial hu mor is something peculiar to itself. Re cently Justice Day, of London, electri fied the court by asking, "Who is Sher lock Holmes?" It is a kind of tradition with her Majesty's judges to know nothing of popular literature, or of af fairs that are known of everybody. Who knows not Sherlock Holmes? Well, Justice Day does not, and there is the humor of it. The counsel who re plied to the question explained that "Sherlock Holmes" was the name of a book, which it is not. It looks as if the eounsefwas determined to be in the humor, and not show more knowledge than the julge. That Dr. Conan Doyle's hero who solved so many mysteries should become a mystery himself is a pleasant circumstance. In August expired the copyright in Balzac's works, and whatever may be the views of his fellow-authors as to the iniquity of robbing the dead author of his copyright the natural man will welcome with some not unnatural sat isfaction the prospect of a varied choice of new editions. Till recently the only choice lay between the rather bulky oc tavo edition and the cheap and handy, but exceedingly ill-printed and ill-looking little yellow volumes. Latterly, however, his publishers have vouch safed a rather better-looking cheap edi tion in 1-franc form, which, moreover, had the additional advantage of con taining at the end of each volume a table showing in what other novels of the "Comedie Humaine" the characters of that volume reappeared. Only those who have tried to trace for themselves through that mighty maze the complete history of Balzac's various heroes and heroines can fully appreciate the boon of this help. Varnished Wall Paper. Varnished wall paper has many ad vantages, and especially in a dirty, smoky town, for it can be washed with soap and water and be perfectly clean without any expense. For halls, bath rooms and children's rooms varnished paper"br painted walls are recommend jed; the former is especially durable, and if the varnish gets shabby another coat may be applied. After a case of infectious illness in a house where ex penses have to be considered, one fully appreciates a varnished room. Ths walls once washed with proper disen- fectants, the great expense of repap ering is saved, the first outlay in this treatment of the walls Is decidedly heavy, but It yields excellent interest Mistress and Maid. ;'Of course, Susan, if you Intend to get married, that is your own busi ness," said the mistress to the -cook. "but you mustn't forget that marriage Is a very serious matter." 'Yes, ma'am, I know it is, some times," remarked' the domestic, "but maybe I'll have better luck than you did." Tit-Bits Tabloid Restaurant in Paris. A restaurant for cencentrated food is to be started in Paris by an enterpris ing French chef. The happy diner will enjoy a menu of tabloids. From the hors d'oeuvres to dessert his entire meal will be presented to him in a few square inches. On Her New Dress. "Here, waiter, you have charged for three consommes instead of two." "Yes, sir; there is the one. I spilled on mad sine's dress." Journal Amusant