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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (July 13, 1900)
WHAT THE MINES ARE DOING THE LOWER YUKON NEWSJHE JOHN DAY VALLEY American Mining Camps in That; Section Are Doing Well. Seattle, July 4. The Post-Iutelli-rencer has the following special news from Skagway: The first news of the season from the remote American mining camps of the lower Yukon has just come out to Skag way. Latest arrivals report a new strike 100 miles back of Circle City, on three creeks known as Faith, Hope and Char ity, which empty into the Tanana. A new strike is also reported on Walker's fork of the Forty-Mile, which was once before staked. A stampede has resulted, and others have rushed in and re-staked the country. Fine pay has been struck on a num "ber of claims not heretofore considered - payers. Eureka, struck last summer, has proved a wonder so far, and has a pay streak 80 feet wide and four ieet deep. It is expected Eureka will this year yield $1,500,000. The Rampart Camp. Col. Wigin believes the Rampart camp is as good as the creek camp ot Nome, and thinks many of the overflow at Nome will push up the river to Rampart and help make it a big pro ducer. He has the belief there is gold in Koyukuk, but feels that the develop ments are scarcely enough yet to war rant great faith in the camp. How ever, from all sources come the report that many are rushing into Koyukuk. E. Gj, reiont, who has just arrived from Forty-Mile and other promising American-'camps, reports the clean-up on Jack Wade this spring has been demonstrative of a good camp. The creek is scarcely prospected, yet No. 7 below upper discovery yielded $80,000 at this year's clean-up. Lenont pre dicts a great future for the oreek, and estimates the output for next season at $2,000,000. He is going after thawing machinery for the creek. He has a nugget from the creek weighing six ounces and worth $116. Gold of Jack Wade, also of Rampart, is worth $19 an onnce. Jack Wade gold is mostly in nuggets. Ex-Uut. McGniw'l Rich Claim. Of those who have been among the most . successful is the man who is working the claim of ex-iiovernor John H. McGraw, of Washington, known as No. 8, on Little Manook. It yielded the last winter $80,000 of which $8,000 or $9,000 was nuggets picked out from the pay dirt by hand. Last year Mc Graw thought he had worked out the pay streak. No. 6, on Little Manook, this winter yielded $60,000. No. 7, on the same creek, gave $40,000. Nos. 21, 22 and 28, Little Manook. jr., produced $60, 000. Hoosier and Big Manook have also proved rich. Hillside property on Rig Manook has yielded as high as $9 to the pan. Idaho bar, on which a rich discovery was made in 1898, was all staked at that time, but not much was taken out and the dump was not washed because of scarcity of water, but has been re staked. RICH COPPER STRIKE. Good Values on Old Claim la a British Columbia Camp. hoenix, B. C, July 9. An im portant ore strike has been made on the War Eagle claim in this camp. The strike occurred in the west drift of the 100-foot level, about 175 feet from the shaft, where a raise was being driven. The ore body dipped a little to the east and was followed 1 1 feet, when the workmen went back and continued work on the raise. Up to date the men have gone through 25 feet of clean chalcopyrite ore and have not reached the further wall. The width of the ore body, therefore, has not been deter mined. Resident Manager Buck has had an average test made of the new strike, and received satisfactory re turns, the ore running over $20 in cop per and $1.60 gold. COMING TO THE FRONT. Toroda Creek Mines Again Attracting Attention. Republic, Wash., July 9. Toroda creek mines are again attracting atten tion. Seven companies are working and some of them expect to cut their ledges within a few days. Some of the ledges have shown large values on the surface, and it was this that tnrned the attention of mining men in that direction. Among the mines that had fine surface showings and carried ex ceptionally high values was the Ox ford. As high as 255 ounces of silver and $15 in gold per ton were obtained from the ore near the surface. The owners decided to run a tunnel and now have it in 65 feet. A few days since a stringer 12 inches in width was cut in the tunnel, which is believed to be an off-shoot from the ledges. The ore carries about 200 ounces of silver per ton and from $10 to $12 in gold. The tunnel will have to be extended about 40 feet to cut the ledge. There is also a parallel ledge that can be out by the tunnel by extending it another 100 feet. The ledges vary from 7 to 9 ieet in width. Milling News and Gossip. Several large nuggets have been found on the Mary Ann placers in Che saw camp, Wash. . A stir is reported on West Fisher creek, 80 miles from Libby, Mont,, where $50 ore is reported in an old claim. It is reported in Ferguson, B. C, that a rich strike has been made in the Nettie L. A vein three to. four feet wide of solid galena, carrying more copper than usual, was exposed. In the Muldoon group, near Belcher, 12 miles east of Republic, Wash., a strike in copper is reported, made in a 240-foot tunnel. A strike is reported on a olaim be tween Delta and Carbon Center, Idaho. The ore is high grade milling, and was found near the surfaoe. No assays have been made. The extent of the Slocan, B. C, camp is remarkable. Every mountain ide for a distance of 25 miles long and nearly as wide is dotted with mine.-? and prospects producing in payiug quantities gold, silver, lead and copper. Many Locations Reported on Dixi and Strawberry Spurs. Portland, July 9. The Oregonian has this news from the niiutun center of the John Day valley in Eastern Ore gon: I'rairie City, in the upper part of the John Day v.tlley i attracting consider able notice as a miuiug center. Placer minimi has been carried on in the valley muoe the early 's, and the quartz ledges were known to the old settlers 25 years ago. Many quartz locations have been made in the past two years, and if the 50th part of them amount to anything, the Prairie City country will certainly be a large pro ducer of gold, copper and cobalt. The mineralized belt, aside from the placer deposits which are found in every creek, comprises Dixie Spur of the Bine mountains, eight miles north of Prairie City, and Strawberry Spur, nine miles south. Dixie Spur is about 25 mlies long, and skirts the northern side of the valley. Its highest point is Dixie Butte, which has an elevation of 7,000 feet. Strawberry Spur is 40 miles long, extending from Canyon creek along the southern bound ary of the valley, into Malheur county. Its highest point is Strawberry Butte, which has an elevation of 9,000 feet. The principal development has been on Dixie Spur. Here along the forks of Dixie creek, and in Quartzburg dis trict, several properties have been opened. Principal among them are the Standard, the Lone Star, the Key stone, the" Sherbondy, the Clayton, the Present Need and a few others. The Strawberry country has hardly been touched. The Cleavers think they have a Treadwell in the Oregon Won der. Others aie of the same opinion. J. F. Rodgers, who has examined the country on Strawberry and Dixie Spurs, says the formation is porphyri tic granite, pierced by porphyry dikes. A third rock is pure gray granite carry ing little porphyry, but much mica. There is also quite a bit of serpentine, and diorite without quartz. H. E. Stewart, one of the owners of the Lone Star, says the Dixie Spur country is unquestionably a copper reg ion, although he is mindful of the fact that gold predominates in the rock. The copper belt, so far as known, ex tends, he says, four miles north from Johnson's arastra along both sides of the east fork of Dixie creek. There is cobalt in the rock, as has been demon strated by the work in the Standard group, but Mr. Stewart thinks consid erable depth will be required to get at the large deposits ot this metal. Cop per is oxide and carbonate at the sur face, but is found in the sulphide form with depth. On the surface the cop per is streaky and bunchy, but as depth is attained it solidifies and increase? in quantity. This is the experience of all the claim owners in the Dixie creek country. There is considerable placer mining in and around Canyon City. Probably $35,000 was taken from the creeks within two miles of town laBt year. At Canyon City the Humboldt Com pany is working two hydraulics on Canyon creek, taking its water from ditches. A number of Canyon City men are interested, among them Ira Sprout, Fred Yorgensen and Herbert Hunter. No figures of the annual out put are obtainable but it is believed to be about $15,000. THE ROSSL AND DISTRICT. Group of Camps in the Summit Show Some Activity. Spokane, July 9. Considerable as sessment work is being done at Sum -mit camp, about eight miles northwest of Ola 11a, B. C. It is described in the Rossland Miner as rather a series of camps at the headwaters of the six or seven creeks which rise there. Three of these, Keremeos, Cedar and Olalla creeks, flow eastward to Keremeos val ley, while Fifteen-Mile, Sixteen-Mile and Twenty-Mile creeks flow west and then south to the Similkameen. There are good trails up all these creeks from Olalla and pack horses can get up quite easily. The celebrated Nickle Plate mine is situated near the head of Twenty-Mile creek, and there are several high grade propsrtlies within sight of it. "Northwest Notes. Tkspay roll of Rossland, B. C, camp, rrms over $100,000 per month. Boise's first ice plant will be instal led and in operation within 15 or 20 days. Petitions are being circulated in Lin coln county, Or., protesting against the proposed location of fishtraps in Ya qulna bay. Bids are being solicited for the erec tion of a two-story brick hotel in Lake view, Or. The owners will be Miller & Lane, who paid $2,500 for a site last week. Professor E. H. McAlister of the de partment of applied mathematics at the University of Oregon has been ap pointed by the regents as supervisor of the drainage system to be put in at the university this summer. The county court of Union county. Or., has ordered road supervisors to prosecute all persons who damage the highways by permitting irrigation water to run in the roads. A Pacific coast Indian institute is to be organized. A conference of educa tors interested in the training and edu cation of Indians, will take place at Chemawa, August 14 to 19. Washing ton, Montana, Idaho and California, will be represented and perhaps sev eral other Western states. One day last week two of H. R. Hereford's thoroughbred yearling bulls became involved in a fight, near the ot springs. Lane county, Or., wh both fell into the spring and were scalded to death. A proposition for the location of a flax-fiber mill at Eugene Or. has been submitted by E. Larimore, manager of the Scio factory. The bonus is $2,500 in cash, 2)4 acres of land for a site, ind 1,500 acres in flax. It is repre sented that the plant will cost $25,000, and will employ regularly about 30 and. THE DULL SEASON. Rall'A-ny Earnings Are Good, However, and Kusiness Failures Few. Bradtsreets' says: Business is unus ually dull at this season, and this year uo exception to the general rule is re marked. A review of the past six months, however, gives little comfort to pessimsts. Bank clearings, it is true, are smaller by about 11 per cent than they were in the first half of 1899, but railway earnings are about 10 per cent larger, and business failures, as re ported to Bradstreet's, are the fewest repotted for 18 years back, with liabil ities of failing trades the same, with me exception, and that last year, since 1892. Winter wheat has about all been harvested in the Southwest and the yield there has been very large. Copious tains in the Northwest, too, have apparently worked some improve ment, judging from the more cheerful tone of advices received from thence this week. Wool is dull and manufacturers are snpplyingonly actual wants. In manufacturing lines dullness and weakness are most marked in products of iron and steel. The settlement of labor troubles is effected in the better demand for build ing materials at affected centers, while rains in the Northwest have allowed white pine manufacturers to open their works, and give employment to many thousands of men. Sugar has been marked up again this week, coffee is higher, while tea holds the full advance scored on the outbreak of the Chinese troubles. Wheat, in cluding flour, shipments for the aggre gate 3,018.832 bushels, against 3,184, 144 bushels last week. Business failures in the United States for the week xuuntier 196, as compared with 185 last week. Business failures in Canada number 25 as compared with 18 last week. PACIFIC COAST TRADE. Seattle Market. Onions, new, 1 c. Lettuce, hot house, $1 per crate. Potatoes, new. lc. Beets, per sack, 90c$l. Turnips, per sack, 75c. Carrots, per sack, $1,25 Parsnips, per sack, 50 75c. Cauliflower, California 90c $1. Strawberries $2 per case. Cabbage, native and California, $1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds. Tomatoes $1.50 per case. Butter Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c; dairy, 17 22c; ranch, 1517c pound. Eggs 20c. Cheese 12c. Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c; spring, $3.50. Hay Puget Sound timothy, $11.00 12.00; choice Eastern Washington timothy, $19.00. Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $23; feed meal, $23. Barley Rolled ,or ground, per ton, $20. Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25; blended straights, $3.00; California, $3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat flour, $3.00; rye flour, $8.804.00. Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $18.00; shorts, per ton, $14.00. Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton; middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal, per ton, $80.00. Fresh Meats Choice dressed bee) 9teers, price 8c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c; pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 8 10c. Hams Large, 13c; small, 13 1i breakfast bacon, !2c; dry salt sides, 8c. Portland Market. Wheat Walla Walla. 5657Kci Valley, 57 s; Bluestem,60c per bushel. Flour Best grades, $3.20; graham, $2.70; superfine, $2.10 per barrel. Oats Choice white, 85c; choice gray, 33c per bushel. Barley Feed barley, $14.00 15.00; brewing, $16.00 per ton. Millstuffs Bran, $12.50 ton; mid dlings, $19; shorts, $13; chop, $14 per ton. Hay Timothy, $10 11; clover,$7 7.50; Oregon wild hay, $6 7 per ton. Butter Fancy creamery, 35 40c; store, 25c. Flggs 16c per dozen. Cheese Oregon full cream, 18c; Young America, 14c; new cheese 10c per pound. Poultry Chickens, mixed, $3.00 3.50 per dozen; hens, $4.50; springs, $2.003.50; geese, $4.005.00 forold; $4.506.50; ducks, $3.004.00 per dozen; turkeys, live, 14 15c per pound. Potatoes 40 50c per sack; sweets, 22c per pouna. Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c; per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab bage, l'2c per pound; parsnips, $1; onions, 1 c per pound; carrots, $1. Hops 2 8c per pound. Wool Valley, 1516o per pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 26 per pound. Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers and ewes, 3.c; dressed mutton, 7 7Jic per pound; lambs, 5c. Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00; light and feeders, $4.50; dressed, $5.006.50 per 100 pounds. Beef Gross, top steers, $4.004.50; cows, $3.50 1.00; dressed beef, 62 1o per pound. Veal Large, 6)7c; small, 8 8)ac per pound. : San Francisco Market. Wool Spring Nevada, 13 15c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; Val ley. 1820c; Northern, 10 12c. Hops 1899 crop, ll13o per pound. Butter Fancy creamery 18 19c; do seconds, 17)-ac; fancy dairy, 17c; do seconds, 1516jc per pound. Egga Store, 13c; fancy ranch, 17c. Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00 20.00; bran, $12.5013.50. Hay Wheat $6.5010; wheat and oat $6.00 9. 50; best barley $5.00 7.00; alfalfa, $5.00(36.00 per ton; straw, 25 40c per bale. Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ore gon Burbanks, 80c 90; river Bur banks, 8565c; new. 70c$1.25. Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia, $2.763.25; Mexican limes, $4.00 5.00; California lemons 75c$1.50; do choice $1.75 2.00 per box. Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50 2.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom inal; Persian dates, 663o per pound. LONG-LIVED PEOPLE. A FEW CURIOUS INSTANCES OF GREAT LONGEVITY. East Indian Who, It la Claimed, Was 370 Years of Age at the Time of Hie Death Authenticated Caaea of Per aona Living; to Be Over ISO Years Old. If Maffens, the historian of the Indies, :uu be believed, one Niemens de Cugna, a native of Bengal, lived to the aston ishing age of 370 years. Although the story is confirmed by Lopez Castegu ods, who at the time of Cugna" s death, iu 1556, was historiographer royal of Portugal, and although It is altogether the best proved instance of so great longevity, its correctness has been somewhat doubted. But whether or not Cugna or his friends mistook the time of his birth by a century or two, tjiere is no denying him the distinction of the greatest age of which we have anything like reliable data. He is de scribed as a man of great simplicity of habit, and of very easy and quiet man ners; though wholly illiterate, he was possessed of a memory so remarkable that he could recite the minutest de tails relating to most of even the daily events of two and a half centuries. He is said to have had many wives during his long life, and it is related that the color of his hair and beard changed several times from black to gray and from gray to black. The next greatest instance of longev ity known to us is that of Peter Zoc tron, a French peasant, whose death is recorded on Jan. 25, 1724, at the re markable age of 183 years. Immediate ly succeeding Zoctron is the instance of Louisa Truxo. This person was a negress of Tuscomia, in South Amer ica, who, in October, 1780, had reached the age of 175 years, and was living in so good a degree of health that she promised many years in addition. However extraordinary these facts, a family by the name of Rovin, which resided about 1730 in Tunlrvax, France, furnished three particulars, each of which is without a known parallel. (1) The combined ages of the parents amounted to 338 years, the father, John Rovin, being 174, and the mother, Sarah, being 104. -(2) They had been married 147 years, and what is nearly as extraordinary, "they lived through out this long period in much peace and contentment." (3) At the time of their death they had three children living, the youngest of whom was 116 years. England next enters the list, and fur- i nlshes three remarkable Instances of long life in Henry Jenkins, Thomas Parr and Lady Acton. The first, a na- j tive of Yorkshire, lived to the age of io years, ana once gave evidence in a court of justice on a circumstance which had happened 140 years before. In his time three queens and one king were beheaded, a Spanish and a Scot tish king were seated on the throne of England, and a score of revolutions had spent their fury and wrought their effects. Jenkins died in 1670 at Aller- ton. Lady Acton, an Englishwoman of quiet manners and even temper, was the widow of John F"rancis Acton. She was born fu 1736, and her death, as an nounced by the London Times, was at the very mature age of 137 years. Fireside. SURPASSED ALL OTHERS. The London Girdlera Give the Cost liest Feast on Record. The Worshipful Company of Girdlers estimate that the luncheon given by them to the Secretary of State and members of the Council of India re cently works out at something over 2,000,000 a head. The history of this remarkable feast is absolutely unique. In 1634 a Mr. Robert Bell, then master of the com pany, ordered from the East India Com pany a Persian carpet at a cost of 150. For this carpet the East India Com pany, now represented by the Council of India, never received payment. It was only recently that the present master of the Girdlers, the lord mayor, discovered that at the ordinary rate of compound interest the sum they now owed amounted to no less than 167,000,000! The Girdlers consulted together and came to the natural conclusion that they could not meet their obligations. Not wishing, however, to appear dis honorable, they suggested that they should entertain the Council of India to a luncheon, which should wipe off the score. The Council agreed, and the Girdlers, as a result, entertained them to a lunch, over which the lord mayor presided. There were seventy-five guests, so that each one, so to speak, consumed a meal costing over 2,000,000. London Daily Mail. DOG MAIL CARRIER. Nep Wait for the Train and Takes Chars e of Mailing. Out in Kansas, where so many things are different, there is a big St Bernard mail carrier. He lives in one of the little "cross roads" towns, where the only store, which is also the postofflce, Is thirty rods from the railroad track. The train always goes whizzing by at a good rate of speed, whistling as it approaches. Nep hears the whistle and hurries to the crossing and waits for the coming of the mail. The mail clerk kicks the leather bag out of the door and it falls somewhere in the vi cinity of the road. Nep at once goes to the sack, and carefully taking It by the middle, so that neither end will drag on the ground, walks sedately to the store, where he deposits his bur den in a safe place. He does this every day, in spite of the weather, and the whole country knows and is proud of the dog mail carrier. Nep is 4 years old, is 2 feet 7 inches in height and weighs 250 pounds. He has no difficulty in carrying the sack though the mail is often very beav.i with the weekly papers from the couu ty seat, for bis teeth are strong and he has carried over 100 pounds as a test of his strength. Knew His Father. Dr. Macnamara, an ex-teacher, ap peared recently at the Coburg Road Board school. Old Kent road, and de lighted an audience with anecdotes bearing upon board school humor, eayi a Loudon correspondent in the New York Tribune. He began by telling a story against himself. He was recently at a prize distribution at Kenntngton Road board school, and told the boys that he would not see them again for twelve months. He ventured to express a hope that in the meantime they would behave themselves and not get into mischief. One boy, evidently re garding him as wishing the company the compliments of the season, repliedi "The same to you, sir." For precocity, however, the boy who was being examined in mental arithme tic in an East Lambeth school surpass ed the Kennington scholar. "Supposing," asked the examiner, "there were six glasses of beer on thU table and your father drank one, how many would remain?" To this the boy replied: "None, sir." The Inspector chided the pupil with the remark: "You don't know the simplest mental arithmetic," but the retort came promptly: "No, and you don't know my father, sir." A congressman tells the story that, being selected to deliver a eulogy on a deceased colleague whom he had not known, he consulted Mr. Reed, then the speaker, upon what to say. "Say any thing except the truth," was the reply; "it's customary." After a recent ecclesiastical gather ing, as the clergymen were trooping into luncheon, one of the most unctuous observed: "Now to pui a bridle on our appetites." "Now to prj.t a bit between my teeth," retorted the Bishop of Win chester, Dr. Randall Davidson. A gem from the records of a Missouri court, given in an address by Hon. Wil liam Wallace, is the following lucid verdict in a lunacy cese: "We, the jury, Impaneled, sworn, and charged to inquire into the insangulnlty of Heze kiah Jones, do occur in the affirmative." An autograph-hunter, who was very anxious to obtain the signature of the poet Campbell, adopted the familiar strategem. Having cjme across a line in one of his poems, the meaning of which appeared to b obscure, he wrote a short note to the author, asking him to interpret the worJs in question. He received the followir.g laconic reply: "Sir In return to your note, I send you my autograph. Thomas Campbell." Sir William MacCformac, the presi dent of the Royal College of Surgeons of London, is at times quite absent minded. He is an indefatigable work er, and often to save time when study ing in his laboratory has a light lunch eon served there. Once his assist ants heard him sigh heavily, and, look ing up, saw the doctor glaring at two glass receptacles on his table. "What is the matter, doctor?" asked one of the youngsters. "Nothing in particular," was the reply, "only I am uncertain whether I drank the beef tea or that compound I am working on." A short time ago some American la dies who were visiting Rome, wishing to attend a Papal reception, made their appearance In ordinary court dress, having availed themselves to the full est extent of the decollettage. Pope Leo was horrified when he first noticed them, and determined to take steps fop its prevention in future. A certain well known cardinal was instructed by him to inform the ladles of their breach of etiquette. The cardinal was a man of the world, and realized that the matter must be approached with the utmost tact and delicacy; after due considera tion he approached the ladies, and, ad dressing them, said : "The Pope is old fashioned and does not like decollete dresses; but," he continued, waving his hand lightly in the air, "for me I am quite accustomed to them, yon know, I have been so much among savages that I do not mind them." It was some lit tle time before the ladies grasped the full significance of the cardinal's words. Camille Saint Saens, the brilliant French composer, is extremely near sighted. One evening at Paris he was at a party, when the host asked him to play something. He for a long time re fused to do so, but, being earnestly pressed, he took his seat at the piano. His hair was tossed back, his eye gleamed with excitement. Now he would bend over the piano, then he would throw himself back; and all the while his fingers would run over the keys as he extemporized in the most brilliant fashion. The company were delighted. After an hour, pleasure gave place to weariness. Two hours after ward some of the guests began to leave; their example quickly became contagi ous, and by degrees nobody remained in the room except the master of the house (the hostess had long since gone to bed). Saint-Saens, more inspired and more tumultuous than ever, utterly un conscious of the incidents around him, played on as fast and as frenzied as ever. At last, about 2 a. m., seeing Saint-Saens playing with more ardor than ever, the master of the house, completely overcome with fatigue, beJ came desperate, and, laying his hand on the composer's shoulder, said: "I beg your pardon, my dear sir, but pray are you not a little fatigued?" Saint Saens replied, without leaving the pia no, "Not in the least!" and to show how, fresb he was, struck into a new impro visation with wilder enthusiasm than ever. The host gave up, stole out of the room, and went to bed. At day-i break Saint-Saens rose, gravely bowed to the tables and chairs, and went home completely ignorant that the chairs and tables had been for hours his only audi nee. How It Came About. Browne How did that Congressman get his reputation as a brainy man? Towne He was once interviewed by a bright reporter. Brooklyn Life. A fool spends his money in dissipa tion and a wise man spends his for rep reattea. SU1TGSE WE SMILE. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Incidents Occurring the World Over-Sajrings that Are Cheer ful to Old or loung-Funiij Selec tions that ttvsry body Will Enjoy. Ups and Downs of the Game. "Ah," said the preacher who was staying to dinner and being entertain ed by little Harry, "I hope you will never learn to play cards. It is a prac tice that drags people down. Cards have caused the downfall of many, many a person who would otherwise have amounted to something in this world." "Is that so?" the boy tswered, "I thought it was just the other way." "I can't Imagine how you came to get such an idea," the good man returned. "Well, last night, when pa had com pany in the parlor, every little while I could hear them saying they were raising one another." Chicago Times Herald. Bat It Hadn't. "Here's the clockmaker come to fix our sitting room clock," said the funny man's wife; "won't you go up and get It for him?" "Why, it isn't upstairs, Is it?" replied he, lazily. "Of course it is. Where did you think It was?" "O! I thought it had run down." Philadelphia Press. A Mean Insinuation. Banker Now, professor, let us sit flown in that quiet corner of the con servatory for a pleasant exchange of thoughts! Professor You are Incorrigible! You are always thinking of driving a profit able bargain! Fliegende Blaetter. How He Felt. The Captain Keep the tiller down, I tell you! The Landlubber (at the wheel) I can't keep anything down, Captain; aot even my dinner! New York World. Forced to Economic Action. "I've discovered how these health re sorts work." "How is it?" "Well, when a man gets there and finds out what his biUs are, in a few weeks he either -dies or gets well enough to go home." Chicago Record. Tnrn Tables. Larry Th' Spar Athletic Club are goln' to hould th' nixt foight in wan iv 1 thlm bouses phere they kape locomo tives. Denny Phwat for? Larry Because It's a round house. Chicago News. His View. "Do you believe In the brotherhood of mankind?" asked the serious man. "I do," replied the man who oper ates on the stock exchange. "But I must say there has been a pretty brisk family quarrel in progress all these centuries." Washington Star. Bappj Under Compulsion. "Do you live happily with your hus band?" "Of course! I'd like to see him try to live unhappily with jne!" Das Kletne Witzblatt. The Most EssentiaL Stubb "Here is a list of the failures since the beginning of the year." Penn "Is the peach crop among them?" A Crying Evil. Mrs. Sparenotrod "Marjorie, it was for your own good that I punished you. There are some things that a mother knows best" Marjorie (between sobs) "I don't see I don't see why mothers couldn't all be grandmothers!" Puck. They Get Used to It. Old Gentleman "Don't you think It is cruel to shut up a bird in a little cage like that?" Little Girl "Oh, I don't know. I have a pretty good time, and I live in a flat." New York Weekly. They Are Numerous. Ida "I don't believe these keys are of genuine elephant's teeth." May "How funny that sounds." Ida "What, dear?" May "Why, a piano with false teeth." Took Him to Be an Umbrella Mender. Ida Elmore received a terrible Insult this morning. May What was it? Ida Why, an old lady saw the han dles of his golf projecting from the bag and asked him bow much he would charge to mend an umbrella. Chicago News. ' -r Better Late than Never. "I hope this proposal of mine hasn't taken you completely by surprise, dear est?" "Well, yes, it has. I long ago aban doned all idea of it." Life. All Entitled to Their Opinion?. Friend Of course, some folks object to dogs and parrots. Aunt Sally Yes; and some object to folks who object to dogs and parrots. -Puck. Recognized a Friend. Mack O'Rell What caused all that commotion in the jungle section o' the circus parade? Luke Warme Why, some v. oman along the route hung her tiger skin rug out of the window. Chicago News, Have You Heard of This Before? Mr. Tom Cat Really, Maria, it was not a bootjack! I I got lip in the dark and struck against a a door knob! A Barber's View. Barber Did that young man take you to the theater in a carriage? Daughter No, he took the elevated. "I thought he would. I knew he was too mean to live the moment I set eyes on him." "How did you?" "He wears a full beard." New York Weekly. A Conscious Humorist. "Mark Twain wants to be President." "Well, he's way ahead of nearly all the other aspirants." "How so?" "Why, the others are absurd and don't know it; he is absurd and knows it." Indianapolis Journal. An Ounce of Prevention. "Billy, I want you to go with me to call on the young lady I'm engaged to." "No; I'd better not; I'm so dreadfully Imitative I might catch your enthusi asm about her." Indianapolis Journal. A Spring; Idyl. Mrs. Smallot Why don't you burn up that pile of trash in the yard? Mr. Smallot Wind's th' wrong way. The smoke would all blow in our own windows. New York Weekly. In the Critical Moment. He Let me kneel in the dust, at your feet. Miss Maggie, and tell you how much I adore you! She I beg your pardon, sir, but there Is no dust in our carpets! Fliegende Blaetter. Almost Human. "O, George," tearfully exclaimed his wife, meeting him at the door. "That parrot you brought home the other day!" "What's the matter with him?" asked Mr. Ferguson. "I don't know. He won't tell me. When I ask him what the trouble Is he just swears dreadfully!" Chicago Tribune. A Lady's Maid. Mistress Why did you leave your last situation? New Maid To tell the truth It was too uninteresting not a dispute, not a scandal. I am accustomed to live in the very best families, and I could not endure the bourgeois atmosphere. New York World. Giving Him a Hint. Mr. B. It Is hard to tell a woman's age by her looks. Mrs. B. I should hope so. Why, this old hat of mine makes me look like sixty. Philadelphia Bulletin. Hardly Pleasant. "It vexed me horribly, I tell you." "What was that?" "Why, when Mabel's husband pulled a tooth for me (he's our dentist, you know), he gave her the dollar right be fore my face and eyes to go off and buy Ice cream." Indianapolis Journal. Making His Toilet. Citizen What are you rubbing your head against that barbed wire fenc for? Tramp I am combing my hair. , His Ailment. Mr. Penn Young Gaswel isn't well to-day. Mr. Pitt What ails him? Is It gripT Mr. Penn No, it isn't grip this time. It is open-car-i-tis. Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. He Put Out the Fire on Her Hat. A curious accident took place in the Casino at Monte Carlo. A frend of mine was standing in the Atrium a few nights since, when she heard a scuffle and turning round was surprised to see a gentleman quietly but forcibly press ing his square topped felt hat down over the head of a lady standing be side him. Struck by the extraordinary action my friend approached nearer, and then she saw smoke issuing from under the hat. It appears that the lady in question had been standing near the naked gas lights, which hang unpro tected for the convenience of smokers, and her tulle toque caught fire. If it had not been for the prompt, though unconventional action of the gentle man who extemporized an extinguish er, she might have suffered consider ably more than she did Paris Messen ger. Although the stinging apparatus of a bee is less than a quarter of an inch in length, it leaves a red-hot impression about a quarter of a mile long. The joys of yesterday are dead and those of to-morrow are not yet bora, . L