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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View This Issue
Two Southern Women Wade Into
a Whiles? Still and Smaah It
to Smithereens Handy With
Atlanta (Ga.) Special; Kdward C.
"Xiwfcer. a typical tsoonshiner, was
brought into this tcity from Gwinnett
county to-night. On tho same tram
wore to respectable-looking matrons
Urs. M. C. Buchanan, aged 'sixty-five,
and Mrs. A. J. Johnson. a-aA -fi?tr
Tucker is tho principal and ffj wo
men aro tho witnesses in n est) of il
licit distilling. It seorxa ,at Tuckor
livos iust on the lino of Walton county,
while about threo mil es from him the
two women live, eing near neigh
bors. Mrs. Buchanan is tho mother of
three sons, ra j3 a member of IHV)
Methodist r,nurch. Mrs. JoFCb 'wor
ships i'a the neighboring Baptist
congregation, and is tho Hiother ot two
son-,. Those wonma are heid in- the
h'ghest esteem by their neighbor.
wjvthjui- tuwir Jiumo xn a mat
of Tucker there is an illicit stvft, which
has been in oporatros for years,
livery night and all day long on Sun
drd the younsr toH Vt tho comiminitv
)uld hang rottd this resort, among
.hom tho 9u3 of tho women above ,!l
named. Ttio mothers eent written
warning to tho stillers, but it wefct un-Iwed-
. Several nights Iho men
wfco were carousing around tho spot
T.ro astonished by Iho appearance of
ilra. Buchanan and Mrs. Johnson in
their midst. They carried axes wppn
iaeir saonwprs, ana lire was tW. In
their ey. They at once set A work
rfcopptag up tho estaallsh'int, turned
:11 Ao liquor out up ihe'rrround, and
rcning tho eofper still chopped
wway on it until it was good for nolh
xng. The wung men would allow wo
one to molest their mother. Vrhen
the wrjnien had finished Ih-sir work
they slung their axed upon their shoul
vierti and walked vcvay. Upon their
3jcurney home Ihey nailed notices
which they fcad already prepared upon
the trees These notes warned the
liquor makers that tho women had or
jgan23d themselves for the rvuf, ard
HBj- still, whether illicit ct hot, estab
ti'.bod within ton miters Should bo visit
ed by them and destroyed. Thoso acts
wero followed by groat excitement
throughout the county. Tho better
class of people approved tho conduct
of the intrepid women, wnile tho lower I
classes threatened to visit their wrath
lupon them. Tho churches sustained
tho valiant sisters. It was thu3 that
the matter reached the ears of tho
revenue oflicials, and honco the ap-
M-mauuBWRii tDe parties at interest
What the Freaks Are Paid.
Philadelphia Times: The "turtle
boy," a misfit little darkey, whose
bmba aro frightfully distorted, com
eaands 95 a week. The gentleman
vuh tho elastic tkin, who thinks noth
mg of pulling tho skin of tho back of
his neck over his face and can make a
necktio of his nose, got 300 a week
for his first season, and now gets 15.
The fcwo negro girls who figure as
"Vhat-is-its" are paid 200 a week.
Chang, tho Chinc-so giant, won't show
for loss than 350 a week; Col.
Goshen, who is almost as tall and runs
a farm over in New Jersey, gets but
55, but Mr. andMrs. Bates, tho well
known giants, are in demand at 600.
The Count and Countess Magri (form
erly Mr. Tom Thumb) and the
-count's brother. Baron LUtle Finger,
get 6u0 a week. Jorepheno Myrtlo
Corbyn, the four-legged girl, gets 450
sa week. The Aztecs, man and wo
man, who originally showed with Bar
rum, get 150. the- "Modern Her
cules," who loves to catch re-i-bot
cannon ball?, does about
twenty minutes work "a day and
draws 2J0 a week, but ho is not
properly a freak, although ho is likely
to be one if ho ever misses tho ball and
it hits him. But thee are high-pneed
freaks. The second chu curiosities
manao to worry' along on from 50
to 150 a week. Fat women are in de
mand at 10. Ada Briggj, who ii good
i xking and heavy hs sho is pretty,
gets 60. Davo Navarro, the "fat
DO.'" who, by-tho-by, was not a wo
man, made managers pay him 125 a
week. H died recently. Livirg skele
tons get from 40 to .S0. Ike Spraguo
drawing tho latter liguro. Spraguo is
so delightfully ethereal that ho can't
stand without- being propped with
8trp.w3. . Armless men who do things
vith their toes are bribed not o run
.away for 50 a week. The "leopard
boy," a colored youth who i3 turning:
white in spots, commands 25 a wook.
Albinos and minor curiosities that are
used to fill in the bill receive 15 and
20 a week. Musical families those
families where the old gentlemen plays
the violin, tho mother tho piano, and
all tho children somo atrocious instru
ment, chiefly drums draw from 50
to $ 100 a week.
Queer Burial Customs in Greece.
New York Sun: A correspondent
at Athoija gives an account of many
curious burial customs peculiar to
Greece which lately came under his
notice. A piece of linen as wido as tho
body and twice as long was doubled and
a bole largo enough lor tho head cut
out of it. In this the body was wrapped
and then dressed in new clothes, and
more especially now shoe?. Beneath
the head wa3 placed a piliow full of
lemon leaves. In the mouth was placo
a bunch, of violets, and around tho
pics a chaplct of llowers. Theso aro
used only fof the unmarried, and must
be white. Both head and feet aro tied
with bands made for the purpose, which
were unloosed at tho edge of tho grave,
when tho cofiin was to bo closed. A
small coin (a relio of tho fee to tho
ferryman) was placed in the palm of
the hand. At Athens a sou is dropped
into tho cofiin. The greatest attention
is given to this point. In removing
the body tho feet always go first. A
priest came on three successive days to
sprinkle the room, fumigate it and le
peat certain prayers, as for that period
after death it was supposed to bo
haunted. ' After burial women aro
hired to keep a light burning over the
grave until the body is supposed to bo
decomposed. To assist this, tho bottom
of modern Greek cofiin s is of lattice
work. Every Saturday tho poor of
Athens place on the graves of their
friends eatables of tho nort thoy used
A courtship of twenty years tai just end
td In tho marriage of a couple at Brarc&port,
Prairie Farmer: Brackets, mold
ings and many articles of furniture
ratty be ni ado cf pine and other light
woods, and then so stained as to elo o
ly resemblo tho most expensive 'arti
cles of their kind. UyeSag and stain
ing make thts Soft v7005s toucher fert.
harder. Many ttt the So-V.lJod ma
hogany, cherry 'an'AVibouy articles sold
aro made 'Of omo common wood, and
8taTtWi he exact imitation cf what
J tliey aro supposed to really bo. I bavo
seen cheap poplar, pme arm qtrer
woods turned, into fine wa!ViV "liia
hogany and ebony te&ivit cabinet,
footstools, TTrt?n toaks, wall, pockets,
mouldings, tM with a uttle stain and
vamiffc. ftbd sold 200 per cent. abov
f0" Staiog wood is vory simple,
and in short time aDvintlftgeirt per
son can learn.
To stain a walnut toivir. lrocure tho
common fumitnrtt tain soli at all
furniture nd most drug stores. Dilute
it wita turpentine until tho desired
Shade is obtained. The wood can be
darkened by a ecohd . -ftd
third application if. 'desired.
For nsafcoganv color, brush
tho ttyod Nith a" hot solution of
twx ounces of madder and ounce of
ftfstre. TGiied a few minutes in one
CiMiYt of water. The stain may bo
light or dark, as desired: tho more
madder the dooper the color... ..To
ebonize wood, wah it three or four
times -allowing it to dry between each
appHcati'-with a boiling hot pro
parsMdn of strong logwood and water.
Yuen, when quite dry, wasli it with a
solution of aoetato of iron, v Thi; ace
tate of iron is a mixture iron filings
and vinegar. This is & very valuable
stam for oborsmng art les of furniture.
molding brackets,- etc. It sinks so
dwply into tho wood that bruises or
scratchos will not expose tho original
A little practico with theso stains
will enable a person to givo the wood
a beautnul mottled, grained, or shaded
appearanre, and quadruple tho selling
valite ot tho artielo treated. Tainted
suriices can not bo stained. All stained
fancy articles aro improved by varnish
ing. Pine and other ligh-colored
woods may be stained a light hue and
given a rich, glo3?y appearanco with
equal parts of turpentine and linseed
oil mixed and laid on evenly and
smoothly with a soft brush. This is
excellent for such lisrht woods as have
a beautiful natural grain
TIIK SAD FATE OF A FOLICKMAN.
An officer stood lit the crosslns one day,
Who with answering i'iestlcm3 was tired,
When a beautiful maiden passing that way
TLe road to the "Jepo" inquired.
fhe weary policeman directed fcer etrelght
To the street throueh which ehe should po,
When an elder!y lady, who seemed to be late
For the train, wished to fird the ,1depce."
Then the man with his arrr9 full of crockery
Cups, saucere, pitchers, and teapot
Came up and inquired, with an anxious air,
The most direct route to the "depot."
The cflicer gave the directions to these,
Thongh he waa annoyed, it was clear;
Then a rustic approached him and said :
Is It far to the 'daypo' from here?"
A man in pursuit of a runaway pair
Came up, with the speed of a hippo
Grill wiefcia its flight through the ambient
Inquiring the way to the "dlppo."
The officer silently pointed the way ;
His mind was in sad tribulation,
For then cama an Englishman, asking : "I say,
Can you fell me the way to the station?''
The cfllrer'ij seen at the crossing no more,
For somethtnfc'B gone wrorg in his brain,
And his family has placed him, his mind to
la a home fcr the harmless iLsane.
To visit Lim often his old comrades go,
And he ceemb to find come consolation
In asking thtm : "day, is it depo, depoe,
Dlppo, daypo, depot, cr station ?"
New York Trltuae.
Dbere vas many qveer dings In dis land oil der
I nefTer could qvlte understand ;
Dcr ber pies all seem so dee.' rent to me
As dhese in mice own fa lerland.
DLey eet-s blenty drouble?, t:nd lido mishaps
Mitouit der least bit IT a cause;
Und, vould you pellef id J dhose mean Yangte
Dhey fights mit dheir moder-In-laws!
Sbust dink off a vhlte man so .icked as dot !
Viiy not glfe der ohlfladj a s.o ?
Who vas it gets oup ven der night Id vas hot,
Mit mine baby, I shust like to know ?
Und dhen in der vlnter vhen Katrine vas sick,
Und der mornings vas ehcoary uud raw,
Who made rlghdt aviy oup dot fire soqv'ck?
Vhy, dot vas mine modr;r ia-law.
Id vas von off d?ioce voman's rlghdts vc-llers I
Dhere vas nodlrg dot's mean aboudt me;
Vhen der oldt lady vishes to run dot masheen,
Vhy, I shust Jet her run id, you see.
Uud vhen dot shly Tawcob vas cutting some
(A block oft der oldt chip he vas, yaw !)
Eef ehe goes for dot chap like som1 dousand
Dot's all right! She's mine moder in-law.
Veekoudt und veek in, id vas alvays der
Dot voman vas boss of der house ;
Budt, dhen, neffcr mindt ! I vas glad dot she
She was kind to mine younx Yawcob
Und vhen dhere vas vater to get from der
8ne vas velccnie to do it. Dhcrt'a not r.ny-
Dot's too good for mine moder-ln-law.
Charles Follen Adams, in Boston Globe.
Texas Siftings: Jones camo into tho
office of tho Austin Wator Works com
pany. He was mad. His eyes gleamed
with a baleful light.
'What is the matter?" asked tho
"I want to tell ydoi that I've found
another fish in our water."
"How large was tbo fish?'' asked tho
clerk, blandly. .
"About an inch long. It s a shame
and an outrage."
"My dear sir, do you think that wo
can furnish you with whales ninety
feat long overy day for $10 a year?"
London Correspondence of the Phila
delphia Press: Wit has not died out
in Ireland. 5"udge fteogb, w"ho, by 'tho
W&y, Was hated 6f all iiien in Ireland,
was one day aoudfe'atfog; an. a case,
the p'6lht'cf wtiTih had reference to a
ciiuent that the defense endeavored
to show had been signed when the
prosecutor was drunk? Unt'ov itfood
exaraination the ff oTrliTg dialogue
took pla fVco'urt:
defeiilir- barrister: "Now,
sir, vrilyou tell his lordship what you
nad to$rink on that occasion before
you signed tho document ? "
Indeed, your hdridr," htfk. Ih'o 'toft-:
ne?S',.' i dttn't tMnit gentleman need
say Vrh'a't ilo had to drink for dinner."
"I think yoc( are bound to answer
the question," said Judgo Keogh, s. -
"Did yc ta?3 snerry, sir," demand-
I ed tii'6 barrister
Well, yj?s, I had a couple of glasses
"And did you tako.clnrot and phanv
"No; I don't drink either," was tho
"Nowsir, after dinnor did you havo
some whisky?" .-
"Certainly 1 had some whisky."
"Now, on. your oath, ('id jrou havo
threo glasses of whisky?"
"I must appeal to your Lordship.
Am I bound to answer tho question?"
"Yes," answered Keogh, with a
laiib, "I think vou aro."
"Very well," replied the witness, "I
had thre... glasses of wnisky."
"Now. will you eay it was not
"Again I Appeal to your Lordship,"
said tho witnoss, and, meeting with no
answer; said: "Well, yes, it was five."
"Will you swear it was not ten?"
A mute glance of appeal toward tho
bench, and then came tho answer: "I
will not swear."
"Upon your oath, wa3 it not fif
"Well, y 03; it wa3 fifteen."
"Now then, sir, I ask you was it not
"No, sir, it was not twenty."
"Oh, oh," said tho barrister. "Here
is a gentleman who drinks two glasses
of sherry at dinner and admits having
fifteen tumblers of whisky, and yot is
able td remember that he did not take
twenty. Njw, sir, how do 3ou recol
lect that it was not twenty?"
Why, then. I'll tell you," and turn
ing to the judge, tho witness said:
"You will remember, your honor, wo
were at dinner together, and after
wards coming down stairs, I said to
you: I have had eighteen tumblers of
whisky, and you said: 'Then 1 'have
beaten vou. for I havo ha,d twenty!"
There wero roars of laughter in court
in which Keozb, joined, for ho had an
ticipated tho denouement.
When the Frinco of Wales visited Ire
land, a Land Leaguer shouted out in
tho hearing of his royal highness;
"Down with him!"
"Whist!" exclaimed hia companion.
"Yo diiremember Mr. Farnell towld
us to preservo an indignant brutal
ity." "Whnt Mr. Parnoll did say was "dig
nified neutrality." There is another
story related of an Irishman ' giving
vent to his feeling by cilling for
"Three cheers for ould O'.reland."
"Throe cheers for hell," growled out
"Oh, every man for tho country he
loves best," was the ready retort.
Tho Editor's Oaatle.
An exchange says: There are on our
books thirty-seven men who owe us for
fivo years' subscription, which amounts
to $277..r0; sixty-two who owe us for
four years $;572; 197 who owe us for
three years $SG.60; 246 who owe 113
for two years 878; 571 who owe us
for one year that is, the tw re months
havo expired 800.50. The:: we havo
a large number who aro paid in ad
vance. ' Tho total amount thus shown
to be duo us foot up :l, 130.50. We
have worked hard for.it, and tho par
ties who owe us havo boen benefited.
They havo received tho paper each
week, as .vo havo shown above, with
out pa in j-r us ono solitary cent there
for. We jrcaased tho whilo paper,
paid each week those who sot tho typo
and printed the paper, and tho dollars
earned by that outlay is represented by
tho sums abovo. Gentlemen, this is a
crying shame. If you havo any man
hood left, do not leave us in tho lurch
af tei receiving our property for yean?.
If you cannot pay all, you can a part.
Cruel Man I
San Francisco Chronicle: It was on
the piazza of a Tucson hotel. Three
men sat tacre in iho warm and drow.sy
afternoori. They had uncoverod their
heads for comfort and they wero all
bald. A little streak of sunlight gilded
tho skulls, and as tho men sat thero
anoihcr.caiue up and loked at them.
Then he slowlv took out his revolver.
A simultaneous movement took placo
on tho part of tho three men, but the
stranger waved his hand for p3aco.
and holding up his weapon asked tho
"How much will you givo me on it?"
"What do you mean?"
'.'How ranch will you give me on it?"
"Sir! Do you tako this for a pawn
"Weil, 1 did n t know. 1 soe tho sicn
thero threo ball.i," and every man
put on his hat as ho took in tho situa
tion. t Could Uso it Anyhow.
New York Graphic: A colored man
wont into a Galveston newspaper office
and wanted to subscribe to the paper.
"How long do you want itr ' asked tbo
clerk. ''Jes as long as it is, boss; if it
don't fit tho shelves, I kin far a pieco
Nilfson would not sln in Munich because
only tTcnty-tvro tickets had hecn eold. .
GARNERED WITTICISMS. .
Miracles Still performed. Farmer
nawjdna tp his wife1) Maria, you re
member them two folks I used to tell
you about when I was a-court'n Vyoa?
Mistress Hawkins Uomeo and Juli'a'!:
mayn't .they. . be, -VWrc Fiawkins
Thpimiv. thoy've resurrected
tSKii people, and ro s"h6wln eni in a
.9T'ork theater. Listen to this,
Kevival of 'Homoo and Juliet.,"
Mistress Hawkins Land sakes! And
them two people must have hfr,n dor J
I'he Oregqh Legislature has passed a
law to the oilect that bicyclists must
stop riding whenever they approach
within lOO'yard of a team, and after
dismouting romain standing util the
team has passed.. Thin law may bo a
gooii ope, or.t it doesn'tgo far enough
lji should bo amended so as to compel
i tao bicyclist to take off his hat and ro
main uncovered while the driver of the
team i3 passing him.
"The guitar has taken tho p'ao cf
the banjo in New Ytfrk eoeie'ty." A
gultto doeor&tod with storks and cat
tails and iiowers and things, and hung
on tho walls, is as harialo an instru
ment as tho banjo. It is when "so
ciety" undertakes to play on ctiia
guitar or banjo that the troib!o be
gins. Norwich (Conn.) Bulletin: A cen
sus of Dorwieh at tho pressed tibo
would show that about ted persods out
of every nido aro suffering frob a bis
erable codo id tho head. Sncczy thig
to catch, a cocfo is. .
Newspaper reporter to president of
company: Has your company taken
any steps to pay its taxes? President:
Why, certainly, sir. We havo u ado
two protests against tho constitution
ality of the law.
Little Charley: Papa, will you buy
mo a drum? Fond father: Ah, but my
boy, you will disturb mo very much if
I do. Charley: O, no, p ipn; I won't
drum except when you aro asleep.
"What are tho last teeth that come?"
asked a teacher of her class in physiol
ogy. . "F&lso teoth, inurn," replied a
boy who had just wakened up on t he
In olden days the hunter used to
"wind his horn" as ho pursued his
game up hill and down. Now ho only
unwinds tho top of it. Times change.
Oscar Wilde claims that ho car see
angels where other men see only ilesh
and blood. A slaughter-houso must
look like heaven to him, then.
Browning, tho poet, walks fivo hours
a day in soarch of health. Now, if ho
would only take out his pocnis onco in
Tho scientist who says that a person
could not live over tivo day 3 without
water is suspected cf being a milkman.
Tho Spaniards havo a proverb:
"When mothers-in-law fall out we get
at tbo family facts."
Lovo-Makinpr In a llowepaper.
Correspondence Now York Tribune:
Thero lives in New York, said a recont
importation from tho east, a newspa
per man who is a striking illustration
of what love-making through tho pa
pers may accomplish. Hu is now a
gray-bearded man cf leisure, but years
and years ago he was a struggling
young editorial writer on a western pa
per. Ho wrote with a good deak-of
earnestness on sentimental topics.
Having conceived an earnest, devoted,
absorbing love for a yonug lady. - and
knowing that the was greatly inter
ested in certain linos of work and
thought, ho managed to put his heart
iu his editorials for her benefit. I do
not mean that he did not writo for tho
public, but that he wrote for the pub
lic better because of tho warmth in Ids
heart toward tbo woman he loved.
At tho same time ho was carrying
forward an ideal character in a series
of sketches. Ho had pictured this
young lady so plainly that many rec
ognized hr as tho heroine of his ro
maneo. But so tonderl y, so delicately
was tho character handled that any one
might have felt llattored at all that was
said. In fact, tho lady herself was in
the habit of saying that sho was con
tent to bo regarded as tho character so
finely pictured. But in time, tho
heroine was carried toward tho hero of
tha story in a way to leave open tho
question of her regard, und there tho
sketches wero broken ofi". At this time
the writer was tho bluest man I ever
Ho told mo that ho had como to a
crisis in his affairs. Ho had carried
tho discussion in his editorials to &
point where ho was in danger of show
ing to tno public his attaenment to tho
ideal who had it) spired all of his work
on that lino. lie could not tako tho
story of his sketches any furthor with
out hinting at a denouement that might
bo very ottensivo to the lady who had
boen kind enough to bo pleased with
his picturo of the ideal women. There
was only ono way out of tho trouble,
and that was to toll Iho object of nis
love hoiighly ho regarded her. Ho
did this in one of the most beautiful
letters that I havo any recollection of,
and in six months his ideal woman was
f Jere. Block's Wit.
Fittsburg Dispatch: His wit was al
ways ready Onco, when tho youngest
judgo in tk.e state, ho wont to hold
court in a neighboring county, where
the leader of tho bar-was an old man
namod Chambers, gray in f ho law and
jealous of his professional dignity. In
tho trial of tho very first cause tho
young judgo had occasion to difi'er
sharply with tho old lawyer on a rpies
tion of practice. It hurt the old man's
feelings, and some of tho othor lawyers
explained it to tho judgo during tho
noon recess that ho undertook to
smooth the milled feather. So when
court met again ho expressed from tho
bench his regret that what he had per
haps bluntly said had been taken hard
by Mr. Chamborsi and closed with an
apt quotation from. "Othello:"
"Haply I am black, and havo r.ot
those soft parts of conversation which
Why ov7s Livo eo IjOu??.
, The New England Medic.il Monthly
comments very favorably on the pro
verbial long v.ud licaltbiul lives of the
Jews. Dr. l'iekard holds that thi:. su
periority in due to their stringent,
health, laws. The Mosaic, like the
e'der lptian c .U is very stringent
regarding the eating of lk-sh nud olh"
articles of food, ;,r lfte ftnImA1s t
aminf-u, 'a large proportion are always
condemned a unfit lor food. People
who eat meat indiscriminately are very
prone to disordered" the. blood and Of
the kidneys, for rnei'.t is cotnpo3;;d ol
ftitha;?.ri, widen the kidneys have to re
move from the blood, and of course
thev cannot do thi.? successfully tx;ept
bv the aid of Warner's safe cuhp, the
best kidney strergthener, unless it is
.'inperately partaken of and only the
ery best iue;it is 'Z'.. .'ews ;iiso use
ak-ouoiic liquor.- very spanngly and
thus keen up (rood d:?j;stion, and then.
again they are a ' holiday-loving and'
Sabbath -observing clas-i.-llouekteper.
A Drumruor Paralyzed.
It was dim twilight in tho Pullman.
Tho lamps hod bv?i turned down till
but a epctk of , yellow showed that
Lhey wero still alight. Deep scores,
prlneiplly bass, but broken by one
penllo treble, trembled upon tho air.
.Suddenly there whs a rambling souta!,
and a head which plainly btiongod to
a drummer was thrust out of an upper
Ho looked around cautiously, then
slipped down to tho Iloor. It was clear
he was not very v, ido awake, but lav
managed to rake his way down the
aisle, feeling his way with outstrcehed
hands. Do h.v' traversed tn'o-thirds
of th1:; ear when ho collided with an
obstacle which scat hiin sl:-;;. ring
"Porter. Porter," he cried, and when
that worthy It un i- open tho d ;or and
said in an African whisper: "Wells
what is it?" tho drummer, who vag
still rubbing h's head a ad sweariny
gently to h.'fMM If. rej.lied with v -hemonee:
Wir.t Su Chicago do jou
leave b:ir.a.- iu t!i- c:-r for -ver b- V
t. fall ove: ? II-. rnow thvo trucks.',
I'y thi - t'.-Mie about a K"ro of heads,
all sort-' a: d had enu r-'-.td from
behind t! ... cu-talr- :
not, edifyir;r " :;'..;r
about the '!:.. re.a.i i
renin d the :.'..: o!::
..-re 'wi!. ' r.ia-b
' " ' i on! I ''.I'n t 1m
MteUl.'.!tl i' .. ', T:
uudiblv. a:: !
i::io;i ! !?a i-e
; el o ra:
"V.'hv," s tM he. so:
Vjel h'- i i"i "i.h ''!ii"s i e:
turai il oin r in her -!.
!ev i v.M-."
"Wh.o.M- leet;'"' tho dr;ru
ir :-.-t :;r.!d:i'.' -?:t.
th-j h.'-'hdt r v
t!)e cr'i.i (;f ! i:
ies-i l)o :ear '
where the la
sceu n.yt w..
t a'Mag r m:;i !, a al
r,:a --at .:li d-.nibt-Cle'.l.'t
1 i.er f. i.t wi'l hi
Ia tho Meditate.
D.i-iiuore-;::.i Pbilad-lphui hospital
phsii.u:. lira pn-s -ribing the new pio
piietary tueih-iri". !i d St;:r Cojigh
Cure. It re:. tair.s ru'.le-r morphia,
opium, ia-. nu oth-r irjiii ious ingredi
ents. The p:.i. e is onlv '1T eeid -.
Cocfciir.'s Church-Boll Vo!c3.
Mrs. Cu-.U-r iu tho CkSesgo. Tribune:
A third person oi distinction to whom
I was presented vas lloacoo Conkling.
Instead of l.riuz imprui.-ed tho moment
I saw him with, the recollection of hi
speeches iu public life and his career
as a statesman, 1 was foolish and' trill
ing enough to notice the raro sapphires
in bin shirt frout and io feel a s;'nsof
rolh f on lir.dir.ir that his no. chad its
limits. Inwardly I vent a malediction
on tho ' rarie .it mists who have such
power to givo lasting i'n'prestions with
their exaggerating pencils through
such widely circulated mediunn.a. the
comic papers. I found Mr. Coaklirig
as tall and as handsome as his friend.
have represented hi:?;; but hi-; hair and
Vandyke beard aro snow-white now.
You can suauoly imax'n-e how the de
liberate, dignified. h rj-ient sentences
fell on my ears amidst the ripples of
laughtt r around us and the many glib
tongues all rattlirg on as fast as they
could clatter. 'I contrasted the tinkle
of many tea bells vehemently ringing
with th sounds of a :U i p-tonod church
ncard abovo them ail.
Invalids' Hotel and Surgical In
stitute. Th!s wld'-ly cth'fcruM d inritutir.n. wiied
t.t Huttjlo, N. Y , Is o.-jr.uiiz -,i wl:h a fiuiilidl
of eighteen .xt.erA-T nrl itui sUilifui l'jri.i -r,f
on.i SartvoD?, tKatiai; Xhy i:rft coinpi'-l-'
ortjaii Z it'.e:-. f t rm-d!eJ ur.d bUrIcvil tl-.l)l'.n
America, for "he tn-ii'iat-nt of hll ciir.inle t'.U-
ai-.-, w liether Tt(tr'.riw i:s--lU,cl ir f-urf't-d
n ea-.is T-'-r i- eur-.. M ;rvv!(i'js f .-s fiA-N-fii
fa- hit'wl iv. th cu!cf sill r.a--w:, ti".-t
.rd June i-sene.. l'verat:.! Ki.tnev'i" " -..!-eni-s
of Llie ili::-t,:ive r;.-;ir;-., r 5 t-H--;
disas-M j;?caliar to v.-h-umj, f.l r.I i, J ts
ekiu O.Uf !ii-s, ra u'na'i.-ri m.1 lmi r ri r
V0119 ili'Mlt:-.-. yw.' y-is, ;!' psy i!'"). Pj-t r'
n.-itorrhra, iaij.oli-i ty :ti') Uhtih-i'd :til-. c'ti'rc.
Thousands sro cur-d at IV!r t:orats
throui;!i corst yi'Or.i'ct c;.'. The care of
ttio '.vor.-t n;i''unj, tunoro,
Viiri'i'f-i', liTtri'celo .vril ftlrlc'uns 1
euiir.ititoo w.:?ioi)!v a f.'ir" rtHl.l'fc at Hi.
I'lftilatirn. S Ti l 1 o ci-T-i- In R'i!ia;r. U-r ' h
Invpli l-' (J "ii V Uo.c ('C-i ui?"-). Mh
pensnry Medlea sc-e!...i. buiT-dy, N. Y.
Mr. LiK;ic.h-Tc I. ur.hnp; y h-, c?.upo b: Mr.
Irv!r.'sTu-t" the. rtde-md Mirfraret Is
wi'.ftfd to hraven on an bjcllrifd j.tj o lristcai
of follcvlTJa" a viTte-il i;rn'.
Use Dr. ri.TCi-.'d "IWi -It.," f(r Joast.'parion.
A f8Schu.-eUs WiU LtiA JiviiiN-d a mi
chine vi-Mch ho rnv v.iil tie a square knot.
JPreo ft'mti 0;?fa.'i'. Jlsiirtics aitl 1'oison.
SURE. O BCtS
ihk i.tia.KH .. toia i.ru ii,.ALTimntr,an.
r 'i "vr .j ffi cq Yi
S d B Uitrkarhr, I ', rl. T I.ll. lir,
Er t S IT y 5 f S .rr-.n. tVf.l-.-.. rl.-.nr.
J WU J Wi ll at -iOis-i- ASi I'fcAI.KK:
L. t '.-.. I tit o..i:AUiaKi..jai.
0 k wn'
Oh ! ye vLo U ach the irgct i ius youth of our
trrcat- nu Rrumirfr nauon, lex mora learn iue
uolda act of Felf-tltfens, as Sanation Oil is
the spcciilc for hurt?.
In a Tziint, Cab, oarber fhop they fur
nish music for the barbers to tsbtve by.
D.-. El ard Warren writes from Paris to the
Bal'tiraor.-1 S'.ut that 11. Past?ur will treat all
bitten Afilerliita Wlihout charge.
Abi ut th-ee months an J my wife was taken
with a most serious case of ii fl imraatory
rhc-jEatlj'u. After taking tivo doses of Atb-lopbo-ps
she, (ran to improve, and r
tit a ccred h -r. T'oma3 McCU.e. Cash d Ulock,
Dabu ;u?, leva.
At tho recent municipal olection in
Toronto, Ontario, wom?n voted',- sup
porting tho temperance candidate for
mayor wh wq cdectedt
The Gasi Skckct of female beauty is
health tho eccret of health ia the power to
cat, digest and assimilate &Vop3r quantity of
wholesome food. Take Vineoau Bitters.
It will clcar.sc the stomach, tone the Vital or
gars, give a perfect dlgectlnn, purify the
Mood, clear ep the complexion, aiid prodace
state c rcnuisc ft -t-lale lef tildes with which
no cofiTatlic ran cotaparc!i
ArcordtiL-K to an a:-ciciit Idea, pelicans
wr.rs Latched dtad, but tbo mala pelican
brouH then to Jtfe by wounding Lis breast
aiid Isttlncr cue drop of Llcol fall upon each.
W. IT. Worthtcpton, editor of tnn ,lPatroDS
of Ilus'iaii iry," published at CoIu!n!,ua;Ma8S.,
w.-iUs under date of F b. 25. Isfii: "Your
great reuvitv, A-Jen's Ludj; Ui!.im, I have
used in :ny f iruily for iiftcn yea for coneha
and cold?, aad know it to be the best." 25c,
.joe, arid ?t.oo a b.jUle.
Senator Kvarts Lad a f rally renciem ro
certly at which nit;o Krand-chfJdren tried to
riJe h's krjec3 to udaraahy Coas" all at
F r throat lunf: troubles, the most re
liable remedy is Ayc-r'3 Cherry Pectoral.
Pby&Ieiass indorflc ll.H's Uair Itencwer. Its
usj Is always atW:ded with iroo-1 results.
Col. MeO.Jmotit, CV-LSt-rvative, recently
c!c ft n-t.-l ly T. . Ilealy, Natlocaliut, will
fur '.!! mt.ldle d'.viiioti of Armacih,ma.le
vafifit by tb.e desth of A'r. McKar.e, Royalist.
Y. rT,;-;!a iu I'i?','.- Cure for Consumption.
C-J.r-.-s v, !:evi..' ;tl r r rut il'.cfl fail; "c.
J.irni s Nielr'if, an old reel-lout of Ypsl
Itr.if, M. 1 yesterday, aged 7- y.;ara, of par-
1. vox's latent Mi'Wdc signers prverts
-.i.t-j mi I x:.K-i ir "ii runjiin ,;y.-r, ripplrc In
r a.:is f-r u-eoribt; linwerily on the hc-c's.
II. y.. Ili'! y, un ol 1 Lenawee county set
It, CU at tii hc.mo in Frtield. ER-d GO
"HoczS oa Rati" cluti out E ti, Mtca. U.
"Uoujh on Conii" bard or toll coma, bonlvna. lie
"a-jech on Tootaftcoe." lnsint ni:t 1M.
Jomfs MeKtrnan, of Northville, and MIes
M.'irh' Sh'inn-.n, of Avn Aibor, wcr3 married
In the Jutter city.
"ItOUUll ON i'lLKS."
Crei or Lemon hold, ltcblnn. rrfttndlDg
bier iin;. !otoni:.l or other, lntn.ai and externa
iSL;dy hi fctcb piciKc Bare care, K. Uruulit.
The. .St. Cbarlec, M!)., lurntlurj manufac
tarir.? comracy has .if-s'.ned. The liabilities
are about $2 too.) end tbs 5et $15,000.
"XtOUOH OH ITtJll."'
"JSoe'b n 1 cfc" ourpi tkin hurnor. ernptlo, rtif
r ui, ft ter, return, fro lea feet, tklibil&.
ilia. 1T7 puuon. barb r'l ltvi. tuc Jar.
TlAi.rocr Pattck 1 Inraluahle fortonpi. bMbea, 4c
rtlrieU O'iinlriiMy trttli all gravle.
' Hlr in
Hi TKP.E SIZE BOTTLES.
!? 25 CHHTS, CO GENTS, AND $1 PER BOTTLE
'K.?T tst'f I I.l-.? -rrj pnt up lorine
renin ni'ulitl ln or an noo ueiirea
(iuud Hull Lu w i'rlif.l
COUGH. GOLD SP.j GROUP REMEDY
TUOSE DEsItilXO A KEMEOT TOE
SimmiM Secure th I.arire 1 tO Itottles
l)irrt Iiijk Hrcinnii my Kucli Itottlf.
NOLO ItV ALL Mhliltl.NU DKALEKS.
no cam - DA! mm
UllLHHl UHLftl PiTOr. V,AN?1
Cleanse tho Hcad- Kf?AM EWjJS
Re neves Pain atM
Once. Allays ln-rrvrD2
fi2 mmation. Heals
Taste and Smell.FiN;
. n r . ' . r Ir- Iff
Apn Icle Is polled Into l A V r H V P K
each iio-tfll. l'rico 50 eta. ISrUl I Im I tail
at (irQirg!ts or ly tnall. Send for Circular.
KLY BHOTIIERS. Druirglsta. Owego. y. Y.
Gold & Jevellec
m E D A L
H'm nnordcil hy th
TO THE AUTUOIl OP THI
SCE OF LIFE
'who 1 the r!i!rf I'tsnnililnjr Phyielttn Ok
l!io i'fc'i.iuv .lt!scl JiiJ-Jituli,
It Ix'l.iw tin !... ll- ili -.-.i Ticuil- "ii Muii1.ik.1. K
Imi'si.il Vitulliv, N.T"iis ainl Vhvsl.-Ji I iH-lnllty
riri'uuri' lt-i-i"iu.i In M:iu.tiie Error of Youth, aao
t'lf u-iti.i 1 inUtTli's ri'r-nlliiii? fro::i liullseretioua o
l-xoc-" la i-iirl' lift--. wlil'-?i tl"t' auttior bau proved
iri:iv he ollfviAto.1 i-.ml ..isillvely curt'il. It 13 e
Klahilunl i;.M:ic..l VV.uk tl i al.c.ve.nnd I a t"-a
tire to i-vi-iy vmuiK ami mUlille-nn.-J ninn. ar
r:i!c'il as rei'rot-'iiiel or tho money refunded IB
rvrrr li'.Ma'n-o ; ' j.hkh ; ,iii1,"n0'1 uniHlln, lul
irllt : U: !re: c.iii'Uoiis lor an ;t-.-isea. rni-o ui"i
Mi'.tlx.r. "TIhto I nuiin in i.itu , wm
... I .I .t K .l.lMHlC
V r.'V. 1 1. i'A V: KVAl, -1 lioUlncb rt..Boston. Men.
I t c most KiiM-'-int JJloo'l I'unSer .iver Invieora.
nr. Tonic, arid Appetizer ever ! iiown. rlrnl
letters CMilaii.ini: Iron prcr advertisod In Amer..
'a. t'tipririciplod pLTors aro irnitatlnsr tho bfeiue;
:iok out for fr:m:!n. Pee 3 a .
.!: '. the r IIo-.vi-.t: fiirnn- Hi fPWI M '
T. J'AI L, 51 INN.
pino'K "RmHlv- ftir CA'arrli
la tha F?3
Beat. KAtiit to Use, und Cle?.
Atao rood for Cold In th nead,
Bea&tche, Uay farar, Sc, 60 muB.
i- r -s .". yen
S. (I 5"
t.'.-h ii ri-tilH. .-i-mt how. Tills work U unl-.-r
J:i!lv rcri.ii.m. rviiNl ly thf r.. ;l-rKV. pun-ntf
:i 1. 1 l.'.-whers, s'ti-l I'verr one of It a inon- Oinii t mil
IU.: . n lfr. Kvorv man. oun -r oM, ahoulil reaci
.. ... I ..v. i.-1'..T-.T ttll'llllll COnKlllt IU
1 It ili u i,..
l the erreat Blood ParlAer and Life-jrlvlDg
Priiiciplu; a Gentle I'nrgative and Toulc ; a perfect
Kcnovator and Inviporator of the ayatem.
In Vincjrar Ultter there ia vitality bat
no alcoholic or mineral poison.
Diteuc-M of the Skin, of whatever nartM
or nature, aro litoraliv dug up ajid carried out aS
the systeta In a short time iy the use of the ill t torn.
Viiit'irar Hi(tcr allnvs fevertelinetm. It n
lievee, and in time cures KheunaatiwD, Neuralela,
Gout, and similar painful dtaeown.'
Tlneiear ICIttcrs cures Constipauon uu
ncor before Ima a ir.nllcln beeft coin
pourifie.d ponfS-Bsinpt the power of YutoxB 11T
TKim to h 'ftl tbe pick. f .
Send for either cf our valuable referencg
boohs for ladies, for farmers, for merchants, ou?
Medical Treatiso on IM-env, Ot our CetechlKi!
ou Intemreranno and Tobio:o, which last shouia
be read by every child and youtli in the land.
Any two of the above books mailed free On
w-cfipt of four oenta for rtfristration fees.
R.H.HciOMildI?ra' Co., 632 Washington SL, N.Y.
tides of V.
B. H. DOUGLASS & SONS'
apic!is CouIi Drops
fcr Courh3, CoMs and Sore Throats, an
Alleviator of Consumption, and of erea ,
benefit in. most cases of I)yspepaia .
(BcWABE OF IMITATIONS.)
They are th result of ovor fort7 yr-nn' axparlana
xn compaunOin.t COUOU KEMliDl-tB. , ,
Retail prlca 15'crt per nrlr RHlut.
von bale nr all dkalkuh.
SIOUX NATIONAL BANK,
BIOUX CITI. IOWA.
Depository of the United Htatec
(Organized, June, 1881.)
CAsn CAriTAL, - eWO.OQO.oa
Surplus Fvxd, - - 30,000.00.
DKPOSIT3, - - OOO.CXJO.Oa
Loans, - - - 1,000,000.00.
W. L. Jot, Prei't. D. T, Bzdcis, Vice-rrei't,
A. S. Gi.BBXTeOM, Cubitri
Fo!t!vly ra irs-hllla-tJij
Frenck, principal Prmr
trtci la Kaaaaa City aar,
"Starllnc's K ?.!
Kara ad y U vltkaaf
(or ByphUU kaowa. Ta
asrea a klov Of IU aS
faetfav ara to many traif ?".4.rff tnV22
acka laiu tbtrtv daja. prlca lO.Jft
ava lain flrteos oaya, price 5 . Tw Bottlaa tm
aa'h rok.te.-takan alVaraatalf. "3
aoafldtntlal-iaaaioal adflea fraa. TratU saJlH
adilraia, ax vmi. i na y -on m a iu
aFal Ktnidr cjw aaaiai
nlir0riduUla Vellelsa. Wmmtt&a
'-'i.'T3 7L Hmloal WukDaa k-NlKbt Lowni), ha.
C'hrnnl. NirroalHod HuMlml DlMMM.
CluarantyCurcor mony rrfiindd. Chanrx
low. Art d lJM-rirMM lire Important. I
imrcury or injurious mrUiriiir o,tllI lot rroia
1-uttneM. Pftliflnrj Irotn a dmUtnn trwatrj rVyriMtl. AltKll
cilircnt vrv ifm ttuc fr"in p. or hrrakxro. Jt ymf
cur a'ul 0fTl fur lenna.
A UUUH tor lO'-H exri,
. ai'ni ai-aird fi.rw- in .uime.
or tho Lliiuor Habit positively etireu Dy Kiminmtea.
lnj Ur. llalnew" Uoliien Hpfclllc. Jtcn IwglTen hi
H oup of coffee or xmtk wunoui me kiiowikuk"
nprn..n laklnir It. I abnulaitely barmlea, anil will
hiTuM ..rm,in.. m anil awedy cure, whether tltf
patient is a nioil-riite drinker or an alcoholic wreck.
every liKtanro a perfect cura ha followed. I
never fall. The nytem once ImpreRnated with
It has been Riven In ttiousmnoa 01 cuan. a.iu iri
tin) M'llll. It iH'Ooinea an uiimmsioiiiiy i..r
luuuials twidroM (iOI.DRN tiVKClVlVVO.
Im.ii.t Rim.-tit.. to cxHt. Kor irciuir n lemi-
i in.iuain nun in.
l!7 llnre Ht.
A Lifa Expcrienco. Remarkable and
quick cures. Trial Packatros. Bond
stamp Tor sealod particulars. Address
Dr. WARD . fin. LM.n. Mo.
Bold by ALL DEALERS fhronchost tb "rSXl
Cold JTTedal Paris Exposition, 1818.
At-n-a of lati'I for alr. from tlM to ).) prr aore.
Nvl.ruHka Ii the :cc to pvt rich. Ifotdforcatalojeao
with denrrlptlon of every county Is the itaie.
w.m It1,nTtinrl.n-.. Hl v f iIcIbd fcarM nmwitaOnn nr na
Ice uld b n-emtvj. He rUt iiTHLOPHOROH.
and In two d a cured. AthlpV.riat ! pnttuunoa aA
,i..c'V.at; bV one .f Lv li-ai.v pliy.1. lan.ot ibc wmotfi.
A't 'iur .lruili f ir Ailil"! .ro. If Jua caciurt rjj M ?
him A" not try wm.r'M.iH cl.lut order at on, from tr. wa
lil .. tid it -.r"' a rwlpt of t I CS per IwtUa.
.t t r n-nna ro. Itg WH fit.. New YorV.
MOW ISM USE 36,909.
All persona aay theirpovla arrive het. W ..k yoo to
mine our Improved Keller Positive Fare KeeMrlaM
r(sed aad k'ertlllalaaj lrlll and our liar liakra. 1l'
aa fil a the Ix-st. anxi can le sold aaihrap. Aw ara war
ranted. Circular-. mailed free. Newark Mnchlne Co
COlumbuS. O. d atura Urau.u Huum.-. ilaraf fc
CiTlie t'lJi-st mt'dlclna In Uic world li probaCly
2 Dr. l8aao Thompson's
T1i nrt!rl U a carefully prepared Phyli-!arTa,iiri.
ci Iptlo'i. rind haa l.ri'o In ooiiMarit ui nrai a, reirtu
rr. and not li listamilr.a; t ho manv ohrr prt acailiD
Unit have lici-n loirmlin ol lnti ilits mavioi. Mie ania
of thin artl-1-1 la t'ontHntlv Inoroaalnir. If fliodlf'
tl..n no t: 11 ''veil It w ll n'evor fa'I. We prtrtlcurarly
Invl'K ho ;i 1-n'liin of .i rSohirii to It a merit a.
ioilX L. 'J Jl -IMKSO.N'. boNS CiK'SHUY.VmXt
i are nliowo-l a frr trial cf thirtfTayt iof U
us.. of Dr. Doe Hl:elt-iiraia uiiici-uub tim-u
mancat cureor A
K'.IlOea. lOr me. mrvi iri jaiiti
v..r.u..t nuil avll klnrlrtxl triijj l' aaf Alto for many
ervouaitewtirv. nwarji mmh
ihHr.ik'niL Comtdotarc' z P" n to Ualth.VlRor
so r'r iiwluj
rtnd Mttnhood (ruarouu-wil.
trntexl painr'hle't In
x la linurreMl. Illuaa
.'tr mallixl fre). Vf
a.IJrosalng oimio ax
., Alan hall, JllcU.
k... b.cncrti'u '...aealroa nm faitb la tw aai-, T,
V V l leJv- I.UTTLM ITZt lt, to herwth a ViL.
,r.M ul r.0.ai7.a. DB. T. A. UCLt, t.l ri S4.. at. .
4fl ?l RfVrriTnniraan'TJlc
Icara aara wltkosl
TTn 1TP STCOT. Seoara a Baatnaaa XdaeaUloa f
DUillijTnuil' trom BsTajrrs CofcLsss. atsgal aM-I.
ilrn An aotlve Mi
An active Man or Woman In r.-i
5 I nfroiinf In rell uur aotxla halarr
M wr Haaiband Exiirrwf- p i.aea in at-
a V .1 ' '4. l.altMinf .utllt ritri nrT.ruian
r.. rimnd ird fcilver.were Co. lioaton. Uaa
A FREE SAMPLE.
T I'll riiduoe ilr- Kfoat ln.ilaoli .Id rfnioily. OOH
KIMi OK I'MN Inloovory family. 1 a .ad
a aami'lo fn-f t m y ono r:i ling aiMrnaa. Mrnciori
'.hltaieraiii sldivaa K. O. l.'lc.l AltUJ. Tols lo. Cte
rbKf f(n fin paMtothsmambersatmsrnaaiS
DU,UUU.UU by tha bliKtla Mea.a Kodown.ot
Ainti f Minneapolis Minn, enainlned and approved
by the InaurjiioaOainulaaloliort" Mllinraol. AS0tS
wauled all ovar tha Mais. Circular inallad frea.
30 s week and azpaaaM
Oullt worth $5 sod psrtlcalars
V f VICKKKT. Autrnata. Mains.
ICf? New Scrap Pletnrei and so Fancy Tarda, fnw
Ihu Dialled For lOo. JUB8KX CARD V.OHni,
1 ronton. Cenn.
Chromo. Gold St-raa. Canla. Loop Fringe, iite.
Card arnt port paid for Bo. Coon, bu.ais
Crd WorWa. llanford. Conn.
lOl"i M:VSCIHf fldlUKM and 4 Kew
I yl I t.'hreino aud 'o d ?rrap arda. ent I'oatpald
f .r lOe. CI-MlililiauoK. CAi.K CO..
enierhnw.k. t .inn.
g.c rr.ist co.
. "I. a. rriUZJLa ' oril alJ ani o loaf ataa4la