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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 4, 1886)
I - tern MUSOUIiA.B PROHIBITION. Two Southern Women Wade Into a Whiles? Still and Smaah It to Smithereens Handy With iho Ax, Atlanta (Ga.) Special; Kdward C. "Xiwfcer. a typical tsoonshiner, was brought into this tcity from Gwinnett county to-night. On tho same tram wore to respectable-looking matrons Urs. M. C. Buchanan, aged 'sixty-five, and Mrs. A. J. Johnson. a-aA -fi?tr Tucker is tho principal and ffj wo men aro tho witnesses in n est) of il licit distilling. It seorxa ,at Tuckor livos iust on the lino of Walton county, while about threo mil es from him the two women live, eing near neigh bors. Mrs. Buchanan is tho mother of three sons, ra j3 a member of IHV) Methodist r,nurch. Mrs. JoFCb 'wor ships i'a the neighboring Baptist congregation, and is tho Hiother ot two son-,. Those wonma are heid in- the h'ghest esteem by their neighbor. wjvthjui- tuwir Jiumo xn a mat of Tucker there is an illicit stvft, which has been in oporatros for years, livery night and all day long on Sun drd the younsr toH Vt tho comiminitv )uld hang rottd this resort, among .hom tho 9u3 of tho women above ,!l named. Ttio mothers eent written warning to tho stillers, but it wefct un-Iwed- . Several nights Iho men wfco were carousing around tho spot T.ro astonished by Iho appearance of ilra. Buchanan and Mrs. Johnson in their midst. They carried axes wppn iaeir saonwprs, ana lire was tW. In their ey. They at once set A work rfcopptag up tho estaallsh'int, turned :11 Ao liquor out up ihe'rrround, and rcning tho eofper still chopped wway on it until it was good for nolh xng. The wung men would allow wo one to molest their mother. Vrhen the wrjnien had finished Ih-sir work they slung their axed upon their shoul vierti and walked vcvay. Upon their 3jcurney home Ihey nailed notices which they fcad already prepared upon the trees These notes warned the liquor makers that tho women had or jgan23d themselves for the rvuf, ard HBj- still, whether illicit ct hot, estab ti'.bod within ton miters Should bo visit ed by them and destroyed. Thoso acts wero followed by groat excitement throughout the county. Tho better class of people approved tho conduct of the intrepid women, wnile tho lower I classes threatened to visit their wrath lupon them. Tho churches sustained tho valiant sisters. It was thu3 that the matter reached the ears of tho revenue oflicials, and honco the ap- M-mauuBWRii tDe parties at interest What the Freaks Are Paid. Philadelphia Times: The "turtle boy," a misfit little darkey, whose bmba aro frightfully distorted, com eaands 95 a week. The gentleman vuh tho elastic tkin, who thinks noth mg of pulling tho skin of tho back of his neck over his face and can make a necktio of his nose, got 300 a week for his first season, and now gets 15. The fcwo negro girls who figure as "Vhat-is-its" are paid 200 a week. Chang, tho Chinc-so giant, won't show for loss than 350 a week; Col. Goshen, who is almost as tall and runs a farm over in New Jersey, gets but 55, but Mr. andMrs. Bates, tho well known giants, are in demand at 600. The Count and Countess Magri (form erly Mr. Tom Thumb) and the -count's brother. Baron LUtle Finger, get 6u0 a week. Jorepheno Myrtlo Corbyn, the four-legged girl, gets 450 sa week. The Aztecs, man and wo man, who originally showed with Bar rum, get 150. the- "Modern Her cules," who loves to catch re-i-bot cannon ball?, does about twenty minutes work "a day and draws 2J0 a week, but ho is not properly a freak, although ho is likely to be one if ho ever misses tho ball and it hits him. But thee are high-pneed freaks. The second chu curiosities manao to worry' along on from 50 to 150 a week. Fat women are in de mand at 10. Ada Briggj, who ii good i xking and heavy hs sho is pretty, gets 60. Davo Navarro, the "fat DO.'" who, by-tho-by, was not a wo man, made managers pay him 125 a week. H died recently. Livirg skele tons get from 40 to .S0. Ike Spraguo drawing tho latter liguro. Spraguo is so delightfully ethereal that ho can't stand without- being propped with 8trp.w3. . Armless men who do things vith their toes are bribed not o run .away for 50 a week. The "leopard boy," a colored youth who i3 turning: white in spots, commands 25 a wook. Albinos and minor curiosities that are used to fill in the bill receive 15 and 20 a week. Musical families those families where the old gentlemen plays the violin, tho mother tho piano, and all tho children somo atrocious instru ment, chiefly drums draw from 50 to $ 100 a week. Queer Burial Customs in Greece. New York Sun: A correspondent at Athoija gives an account of many curious burial customs peculiar to Greece which lately came under his notice. A piece of linen as wido as tho body and twice as long was doubled and a bole largo enough lor tho head cut out of it. In this the body was wrapped and then dressed in new clothes, and more especially now shoe?. Beneath the head wa3 placed a piliow full of lemon leaves. In the mouth was placo a bunch, of violets, and around tho pics a chaplct of llowers. Theso aro used only fof the unmarried, and must be white. Both head and feet aro tied with bands made for the purpose, which were unloosed at tho edge of tho grave, when tho cofiin was to bo closed. A small coin (a relio of tho fee to tho ferryman) was placed in the palm of the hand. At Athens a sou is dropped into tho cofiin. The greatest attention is given to this point. In removing the body tho feet always go first. A priest came on three successive days to sprinkle the room, fumigate it and le peat certain prayers, as for that period after death it was supposed to bo haunted. ' After burial women aro hired to keep a light burning over the grave until the body is supposed to bo decomposed. To assist this, tho bottom of modern Greek cofiin s is of lattice work. Every Saturday tho poor of Athens place on the graves of their friends eatables of tho nort thoy used to like. A courtship of twenty years tai just end td In tho marriage of a couple at Brarc&port, N. Stalnlnsr Woods. Prairie Farmer: Brackets, mold ings and many articles of furniture ratty be ni ado cf pine and other light woods, and then so stained as to elo o ly resemblo tho most expensive 'arti cles of their kind. UyeSag and stain ing make thts Soft v7005s toucher fert. harder. Many ttt the So-V.lJod ma hogany, cherry 'an'AVibouy articles sold aro made 'Of omo common wood, and 8taTtWi he exact imitation cf what J tliey aro supposed to really bo. I bavo seen cheap poplar, pme arm qtrer woods turned, into fine wa!ViV "liia hogany and ebony te&ivit cabinet, footstools, TTrt?n toaks, wall, pockets, mouldings, tM with a uttle stain and vamiffc. ftbd sold 200 per cent. abov f0" Staiog wood is vory simple, and in short time aDvintlftgeirt per son can learn. To stain a walnut toivir. lrocure tho common fumitnrtt tain soli at all furniture nd most drug stores. Dilute it wita turpentine until tho desired Shade is obtained. The wood can be darkened by a ecohd . -ftd third application if. 'desired. For nsafcoganv color, brush tho ttyod Nith a" hot solution of twx ounces of madder and ounce of ftfstre. TGiied a few minutes in one CiMiYt of water. The stain may bo light or dark, as desired: tho more madder the dooper the color... ..To ebonize wood, wah it three or four times -allowing it to dry between each appHcati'-with a boiling hot pro parsMdn of strong logwood and water. Yuen, when quite dry, wasli it with a solution of aoetato of iron, v Thi; ace tate of iron is a mixture iron filings and vinegar. This is & very valuable stam for oborsmng art les of furniture. molding brackets,- etc. It sinks so dwply into tho wood that bruises or scratchos will not expose tho original color, A little practico with theso stains will enable a person to givo the wood a beautnul mottled, grained, or shaded appearanre, and quadruple tho selling valite ot tho artielo treated. Tainted suriices can not bo stained. All stained fancy articles aro improved by varnish ing. Pine and other ligh-colored woods may be stained a light hue and given a rich, glo3?y appearanco with equal parts of turpentine and linseed oil mixed and laid on evenly and smoothly with a soft brush. This is excellent for such lisrht woods as have a beautiful natural grain TIIK SAD FATE OF A FOLICKMAN. An officer stood lit the crosslns one day, Who with answering i'iestlcm3 was tired, When a beautiful maiden passing that way TLe road to the "Jepo" inquired. fhe weary policeman directed fcer etrelght To the street throueh which ehe should po, When an elder!y lady, who seemed to be late For the train, wished to fird the ,1depce." Then the man with his arrr9 full of crockery ware Cups, saucere, pitchers, and teapot Came up and inquired, with an anxious air, The most direct route to the "depot." The cflicer gave the directions to these, Thongh he waa annoyed, it was clear; Then a rustic approached him and said : If you please, Is It far to the 'daypo' from here?" A man in pursuit of a runaway pair Came up, with the speed of a hippo Grill wiefcia its flight through the ambient air, Inquiring the way to the "dlppo." The officer silently pointed the way ; His mind was in sad tribulation, For then cama an Englishman, asking : "I say, Can you fell me the way to the station?'' The cfllrer'ij seen at the crossing no more, For somethtnfc'B gone wrorg in his brain, And his family has placed him, his mind to restore, la a home fcr the harmless iLsane. To visit Lim often his old comrades go, And he ceemb to find come consolation In asking thtm : "day, is it depo, depoe, Dlppo, daypo, depot, cr station ?" New York Trltuae. THE MOTHKB-IX-LAW. Dbere vas many qveer dings In dis land oil der free I nefTer could qvlte understand ; Dcr ber pies all seem so dee.' rent to me As dhese in mice own fa lerland. DLey eet-s blenty drouble?, t:nd lido mishaps Mitouit der least bit IT a cause; Und, vould you pellef id J dhose mean Yangte chapa, Dhey fights mit dheir moder-In-laws! Sbust dink off a vhlte man so .icked as dot ! Viiy not glfe der ohlfladj a s.o ? Who vas it gets oup ven der night Id vas hot, Mit mine baby, I shust like to know ? Und dhen in der vlnter vhen Katrine vas sick, Und der mornings vas ehcoary uud raw, Who made rlghdt aviy oup dot fire soqv'ck? Vhy, dot vas mine modr;r ia-law. Id vas von off d?ioce voman's rlghdts vc-llers I been, Dhere vas nodlrg dot's mean aboudt me; Vhen der oldt lady vishes to run dot masheen, Vhy, I shust Jet her run id, you see. Uud vhen dot shly Tawcob vas cutting some dricks (A block oft der oldt chip he vas, yaw !) Eef ehe goes for dot chap like som1 dousand of bricks, Dot's all right! She's mine moder in-law. Veekoudt und veek in, id vas alvays der same, Dot voman vas boss of der house ; Budt, dhen, neffcr mindt ! I vas glad dot she came, She was kind to mine younx Yawcob Strauss, Und vhen dhere vas vater to get from der spring, 8ne vas velccnie to do it. Dhcrt'a not r.ny- ,diog Dot's too good for mine moder-ln-law. Charles Follen Adams, in Boston Globe. Great Expectations. Texas Siftings: Jones camo into tho office of tho Austin Wator Works com pany. He was mad. His eyes gleamed with a baleful light. 'What is the matter?" asked tho clerk. "I want to tell ydoi that I've found another fish in our water." "How large was tbo fish?'' asked tho clerk, blandly. . "About an inch long. It s a shame and an outrage." "My dear sir, do you think that wo can furnish you with whales ninety feat long overy day for $10 a year?" Irish Wit. London Correspondence of the Phila delphia Press: Wit has not died out in Ireland. 5"udge fteogb, w"ho, by 'tho W&y, Was hated 6f all iiien in Ireland, was one day aoudfe'atfog; an. a case, the p'6lht'cf wtiTih had reference to a ciiuent that the defense endeavored to show had been signed when the prosecutor was drunk? Unt'ov itfood exaraination the ff oTrliTg dialogue took pla fVco'urt: defeiilir- barrister: "Now, sir, vrilyou tell his lordship what you nad to$rink on that occasion before you signed tho document ? " Indeed, your hdridr," htfk. Ih'o 'toft-: ne?S',.' i dttn't tMnit gentleman need say Vrh'a't ilo had to drink for dinner." "I think yoc( are bound to answer the question," said Judgo Keogh, s. - v. -i om nly "Did yc ta?3 snerry, sir," demand- I ed tii'6 barrister t1 Well, of sherry Well, yj?s, I had a couple of glasses sherry." "And did you tako.clnrot and phanv P .srno p" "No; I don't drink either," was tho answer. "Nowsir, after dinnor did you havo some whisky?" .- "Certainly 1 had some whisky." "Now, on. your oath, ('id jrou havo threo glasses of whisky?" "I must appeal to your Lordship. Am I bound to answer tho question?" "Yes," answered Keogh, with a laiib, "I think vou aro." "Very well," replied the witness, "I had thre... glasses of wnisky." "Now. will you eay it was not fivo?" "Again I Appeal to your Lordship," said tho witnoss, and, meeting with no answer; said: "Well, yes, it was five." "Will you swear it was not ten?" A mute glance of appeal toward tho bench, and then came tho answer: "I will not swear." "Upon your oath, wa3 it not fif teen?" ' "Well, y 03; it wa3 fifteen." "Now then, sir, I ask you was it not twenty?" ' "No, sir, it was not twenty." "Oh, oh," said tho barrister. "Here is a gentleman who drinks two glasses of sherry at dinner and admits having fifteen tumblers of whisky, and yot is able td remember that he did not take twenty. Njw, sir, how do 3ou recol lect that it was not twenty?" Why, then. I'll tell you," and turn ing to the judge, tho witness said: "You will remember, your honor, wo were at dinner together, and after wards coming down stairs, I said to you: I have had eighteen tumblers of whisky, and you said: 'Then 1 'have beaten vou. for I havo ha,d twenty!" There wero roars of laughter in court in which Keozb, joined, for ho had an ticipated tho denouement. When the Frinco of Wales visited Ire land, a Land Leaguer shouted out in tho hearing of his royal highness; "Down with him!" "Whist!" exclaimed hia companion. "Yo diiremember Mr. Farnell towld us to preservo an indignant brutal ity." "Whnt Mr. Parnoll did say was "dig nified neutrality." There is another story related of an Irishman ' giving vent to his feeling by cilling for "Three cheers for ould O'.reland." "Throe cheers for hell," growled out a i:on-sympaihiz.:r. "Oh, every man for tho country he loves best," was the ready retort. Tho Editor's Oaatle. An exchange says: There are on our books thirty-seven men who owe us for fivo years' subscription, which amounts to $277..r0; sixty-two who owe us for four years $;572; 197 who owe us for three years $SG.60; 246 who owe 113 for two years 878; 571 who owe us for one year that is, the tw re months havo expired 800.50. The:: we havo a large number who aro paid in ad vance. ' Tho total amount thus shown to be duo us foot up :l, 130.50. We have worked hard for.it, and tho par ties who owe us havo boen benefited. They havo received tho paper each week, as .vo havo shown above, with out pa in j-r us ono solitary cent there for. We jrcaased tho whilo paper, paid each week those who sot tho typo and printed the paper, and tho dollars earned by that outlay is represented by tho sums abovo. Gentlemen, this is a crying shame. If you havo any man hood left, do not leave us in tho lurch af tei receiving our property for yean?. If you cannot pay all, you can a part. Cruel Man I San Francisco Chronicle: It was on the piazza of a Tucson hotel. Three men sat tacre in iho warm and drow.sy afternoori. They had uncoverod their heads for comfort and they wero all bald. A little streak of sunlight gilded tho skulls, and as tho men sat thero anoihcr.caiue up and loked at them. Then he slowlv took out his revolver. A simultaneous movement took placo on tho part of tho three men, but the stranger waved his hand for p3aco. and holding up his weapon asked tho middle man: "How much will you givo me on it?" "What do you mean?" '.'How ranch will you give me on it?" "Sir! Do you tako this for a pawn broker's shop?" "Weil, 1 did n t know. 1 soe tho sicn thero threo ball.i," and every man put on his hat as ho took in tho situa tion. t Could Uso it Anyhow. New York Graphic: A colored man wont into a Galveston newspaper office and wanted to subscribe to the paper. "How long do you want itr ' asked tbo clerk. ''Jes as long as it is, boss; if it don't fit tho shelves, I kin far a pieco off myself." Nilfson would not sln in Munich because only tTcnty-tvro tickets had hecn eold. . GARNERED WITTICISMS. . Miracles Still performed. Farmer nawjdna tp his wife1) Maria, you re member them two folks I used to tell you about when I was a-court'n Vyoa? Mistress Hawkins Uomeo and Juli'a'!: mayn't .they. . be, -VWrc Fiawkins Thpimiv. thoy've resurrected tSKii people, and ro s"h6wln eni in a .9T'ork theater. Listen to this, Kevival of 'Homoo and Juliet.," Mistress Hawkins Land sakes! And them two people must have hfr,n dor J v200 year. I'he Oregqh Legislature has passed a law to the oilect that bicyclists must stop riding whenever they approach within lOO'yard of a team, and after dismouting romain standing util the team has passed.. Thin law may bo a gooii ope, or.t it doesn'tgo far enough lji should bo amended so as to compel i tao bicyclist to take off his hat and ro main uncovered while the driver of the team i3 passing him. "The guitar has taken tho p'ao cf the banjo in New Ytfrk eoeie'ty." A gultto doeor&tod with storks and cat tails and iiowers and things, and hung on tho walls, is as harialo an instru ment as tho banjo. It is when "so ciety" undertakes to play on ctiia guitar or banjo that the troib!o be gins. Norwich (Conn.) Bulletin: A cen sus of Dorwieh at tho pressed tibo would show that about ted persods out of every nido aro suffering frob a bis erable codo id tho head. Sncczy thig to catch, a cocfo is. . Newspaper reporter to president of company: Has your company taken any steps to pay its taxes? President: Why, certainly, sir. We havo u ado two protests against tho constitution ality of the law. Little Charley: Papa, will you buy mo a drum? Fond father: Ah, but my boy, you will disturb mo very much if I do. Charley: O, no, p ipn; I won't drum except when you aro asleep. "What are tho last teeth that come?" asked a teacher of her class in physiol ogy. . "F&lso teoth, inurn," replied a boy who had just wakened up on t he back seat. In olden days the hunter used to "wind his horn" as ho pursued his game up hill and down. Now ho only unwinds tho top of it. Times change. Oscar Wilde claims that ho car see angels where other men see only ilesh and blood. A slaughter-houso must look like heaven to him, then. Browning, tho poet, walks fivo hours a day in soarch of health. Now, if ho would only take out his pocnis onco in a while. Tho scientist who says that a person could not live over tivo day 3 without water is suspected cf being a milkman. Tho Spaniards havo a proverb: "When mothers-in-law fall out we get at tbo family facts." Lovo-Makinpr In a llowepaper. Correspondence Now York Tribune: Thero lives in New York, said a recont importation from tho east, a newspa per man who is a striking illustration of what love-making through tho pa pers may accomplish. Hu is now a gray-bearded man cf leisure, but years and years ago he was a struggling young editorial writer on a western pa per. Ho wrote with a good deak-of earnestness on sentimental topics. Having conceived an earnest, devoted, absorbing love for a yonug lady. - and knowing that the was greatly inter ested in certain linos of work and thought, ho managed to put his heart iu his editorials for her benefit. I do not mean that he did not writo for tho public, but that he wrote for the pub lic better because of tho warmth in Ids heart toward tbo woman he loved. At tho same time ho was carrying forward an ideal character in a series of sketches. Ho had pictured this young lady so plainly that many rec ognized hr as tho heroine of his ro maneo. But so tonderl y, so delicately was tho character handled that any one might have felt llattored at all that was said. In fact, tho lady herself was in the habit of saying that sho was con tent to bo regarded as tho character so finely pictured. But in time, tho heroine was carried toward tho hero of tha story in a way to leave open tho question of her regard, und there tho sketches wero broken ofi". At this time the writer was tho bluest man I ever saw. Ho told mo that ho had como to a crisis in his affairs. Ho had carried tho discussion in his editorials to & point where ho was in danger of show ing to tno public his attaenment to tho ideal who had it) spired all of his work on that lino. lie could not tako tho story of his sketches any furthor with out hinting at a denouement that might bo very ottensivo to the lady who had boen kind enough to bo pleased with his picturo of the ideal women. There was only ono way out of tho trouble, and that was to toll Iho object of nis love hoiighly ho regarded her. Ho did this in one of the most beautiful letters that I havo any recollection of, and in six months his ideal woman was his wife. f Jere. Block's Wit. Fittsburg Dispatch: His wit was al ways ready Onco, when tho youngest judgo in tk.e state, ho wont to hold court in a neighboring county, where the leader of tho bar-was an old man namod Chambers, gray in f ho law and jealous of his professional dignity. In tho trial of tho very first cause tho young judgo had occasion to difi'er sharply with tho old lawyer on a rpies tion of practice. It hurt the old man's feelings, and some of tho othor lawyers explained it to tho judgo during tho noon recess that ho undertook to smooth the milled feather. So when court met again ho expressed from tho bench his regret that what he had per haps bluntly said had been taken hard by Mr. Chamborsi and closed with an apt quotation from. "Othello:" "Haply I am black, and havo r.ot those soft parts of conversation which oaainberers haye." aatMBaaBi!u.iBjcr Why ov7s Livo eo IjOu??. , The New England Medic.il Monthly comments very favorably on the pro verbial long v.ud licaltbiul lives of the Jews. Dr. l'iekard holds that thi:. su periority in due to their stringent, health, laws. The Mosaic, like the e'der lptian c .U is very stringent regarding the eating of lk-sh nud olh" articles of food, ;,r lfte ftnImA1s t aminf-u, 'a large proportion are always condemned a unfit lor food. People who eat meat indiscriminately are very prone to disordered" the. blood and Of the kidneys, for rnei'.t is cotnpo3;;d ol ftitha;?.ri, widen the kidneys have to re move from the blood, and of course thev cannot do thi.? successfully tx;ept bv the aid of Warner's safe cuhp, the best kidney strergthener, unless it is te .'inperately partaken of and only the ery best iue;it is 'Z'.. .'ews ;iiso use ve ak-ouoiic liquor.- very spanngly and thus keen up (rood d:?j;stion, and then. again they are a ' holiday-loving and' Sabbath -observing clas-i.-llouekteper. A Drumruor Paralyzed. It was dim twilight in tho Pullman. Tho lamps hod bv?i turned down till but a epctk of , yellow showed that Lhey wero still alight. Deep scores, prlneiplly bass, but broken by one penllo treble, trembled upon tho air. .Suddenly there whs a rambling souta!, and a head which plainly btiongod to a drummer was thrust out of an upper berth. Ho looked around cautiously, then slipped down to tho Iloor. It was clear he was not very v, ido awake, but lav managed to rake his way down the aisle, feeling his way with outstrcehed hands. Do h.v' traversed tn'o-thirds of th1:; ear when ho collided with an obstacle which scat hiin sl:-;;. ring backward. "Porter. Porter," he cried, and when that worthy It un i- open tho d ;or and said in an African whisper: "Wells what is it?" tho drummer, who vag still rubbing h's head a ad sweariny gently to h.'fMM If. rej.lied with v -hemonee: Wir.t Su Chicago do jou leave b:ir.a.- iu t!i- c:-r for -ver b- V t. fall ove: ? II-. rnow thvo trucks.', I'y thi - t'.-Mie about a K"ro of heads, all sort-' a: d had enu r-'-.td from behind t! ... cu-talr- : :l into:' I .:: it 1. 1 not, edifyir;r " :;'..;r about the '!:.. re.a.i i renin d the :.'..: o!:: ..-re 'wi!. ' r.ia-b What true.';.-?'" ' " ' i on! I ''.I'n t 1m MteUl.'.!tl i' .. ', T: uudiblv. a:: ! i::io;i ! !?a i-e ; el o ra: .u::. tl.e c".r. "V.'hv," s tM he. so: Vjel h'- i i"i "i.h ''!ii"s i e: turai il oin r in her -!. !ev i v.M-." "Wh.o.M- leet;'"' tho dr;ru ir :-.-t :;r.!d:i'.' -?:t. .O ( o;.M She C-1!.":'.' 1 "Th a e th-j h.'-'hdt r v t!)e cr'i.i (;f ! i: ies-i l)o :ear ' where the la sceu n.yt w.. t a'Mag r m:;i !, a al r,:a --at .:li d-.nibt-Cle'.l.'t nu- ,'ttr.i 1 i.er f. i.t wi'l hi Ia tho Meditate. D.i-iiuore-;::.i Pbilad-lphui hospital phsii.u:. lira pn-s -ribing the new pio piietary tueih-iri". !i d St;:r Cojigh Cure. It re:. tair.s ru'.le-r morphia, opium, ia-. nu oth-r irjiii ious ingredi ents. The p:.i. e is onlv '1T eeid -. . . Cocfciir.'s Church-Boll Vo!c3. Mrs. Cu-.U-r iu tho CkSesgo. Tribune: A third person oi distinction to whom I was presented vas lloacoo Conkling. Instead of l.riuz imprui.-ed tho moment I saw him with, the recollection of hi speeches iu public life and his career as a statesman, 1 was foolish and' trill ing enough to notice the raro sapphires in bin shirt frout and io feel a s;'nsof rolh f on lir.dir.ir that his no. chad its limits. Inwardly I vent a malediction on tho ' rarie .it mists who have such power to givo lasting i'n'prestions with their exaggerating pencils through such widely circulated mediunn.a. the comic papers. I found Mr. Coaklirig as tall and as handsome as his friend. have represented hi:?;; but hi-; hair and Vandyke beard aro snow-white now. You can suauoly imax'n-e how the de liberate, dignified. h rj-ient sentences fell on my ears amidst the ripples of laughtt r around us and the many glib tongues all rattlirg on as fast as they could clatter. 'I contrasted the tinkle of many tea bells vehemently ringing with th sounds of a :U i p-tonod church ncard abovo them ail. -jO . Invalids' Hotel and Surgical In stitute. Th!s wld'-ly cth'fcruM d inritutir.n. wiied t.t Huttjlo, N. Y , Is o.-jr.uiiz -,i wl:h a fiuiilidl of eighteen .xt.erA-T nrl itui sUilifui l'jri.i -r,f on.i SartvoD?, tKatiai; Xhy i:rft coinpi'-l-' ortjaii Z it'.e:-. f t rm-d!eJ ur.d bUrIcvil tl-.l)l'.n America, for "he tn-ii'iat-nt of hll ciir.inle t'.U- ai-.-, w liether Tt(tr'.riw i:s--lU,cl ir f-urf't-d n ea-.is T-'-r i- eur-.. M ;rvv!(i'js f .-s fiA-N-fii fa- hit'wl iv. th cu!cf sill r.a--w:, ti".-t .rd June i-sene.. l'verat:.! Ki.tnev'i" " -..!-eni-s of Llie ili::-t,:ive r;.-;ir;-., r 5 t-H--; disas-M j;?caliar to v.-h-umj, f.l r.I i, J ts ekiu O.Uf !ii-s, ra u'na'i.-ri m.1 lmi r ri r V0119 ili'Mlt:-.-. yw.' y-is, ;!' psy i!'"). Pj-t r' n.-itorrhra, iaij.oli-i ty :ti') Uhtih-i'd :til-. c'ti'rc. Thousands sro cur-d at IV!r t:orats throui;!i corst yi'Or.i'ct c;.'. The care of ttio '.vor.-t n;i''unj, tunoro, Viiri'i'f-i', liTtri'celo .vril ftlrlc'uns 1 euiir.ititoo w.:?ioi)!v a f.'ir" rtHl.l'fc at Hi. I'lftilatirn. S Ti l 1 o ci-T-i- In R'i!ia;r. U-r ' h Invpli l-' (J "ii V Uo.c ('C-i ui?"-). Mh pensnry Medlea sc-e!...i. buiT-dy, N. Y. Mr. LiK;ic.h-Tc I. ur.hnp; y h-, c?.upo b: Mr. Irv!r.'sTu-t" the. rtde-md Mirfraret Is wi'.ftfd to hraven on an bjcllrifd j.tj o lristcai of follcvlTJa" a viTte-il i;rn'. Use Dr. ri.TCi-.'d "IWi -It.," f(r Joast.'parion. A f8Schu.-eUs WiU LtiA JiviiiN-d a mi chine vi-Mch ho rnv v.iil tie a square knot. JPreo ft'mti 0;?fa.'i'. Jlsiirtics aitl 1'oison. SAFE. 'jw SURE. O BCtS PROMPT. ihk i.tia.KH .. toia i.ru ii,.ALTimntr,an. r 'i "vr .j ffi cq Yi S d B Uitrkarhr, I ', rl. T I.ll. lir, Er t S IT y 5 f S .rr-.n. tVf.l-.-.. rl.-.nr. J WU J Wi ll at -iOis-i- ASi I'fcAI.KK: L. t '.-.. I tit o..i:AUiaKi..jai. pi 0 k wn' Oh ! ye vLo U ach the irgct i ius youth of our trrcat- nu Rrumirfr nauon, lex mora learn iue uolda act of Felf-tltfens, as Sanation Oil is the spcciilc for hurt?. In a Tziint, Cab, oarber fhop they fur nish music for the barbers to tsbtve by. D.-. El ard Warren writes from Paris to the Bal'tiraor.-1 S'.ut that 11. Past?ur will treat all bitten Afilerliita Wlihout charge. Abi ut th-ee months an J my wife was taken with a most serious case of ii fl imraatory rhc-jEatlj'u. After taking tivo doses of Atb-lopbo-ps she, (ran to improve, and r tit a ccred h -r. T'oma3 McCU.e. Cash d Ulock, Dabu ;u?, leva. At tho recent municipal olection in Toronto, Ontario, wom?n voted',- sup porting tho temperance candidate for mayor wh wq cdectedt The Gasi Skckct of female beauty is health tho eccret of health ia the power to cat, digest and assimilate &Vop3r quantity of wholesome food. Take Vineoau Bitters. It will clcar.sc the stomach, tone the Vital or gars, give a perfect dlgectlnn, purify the Mood, clear ep the complexion, aiid prodace state c rcnuisc ft -t-lale lef tildes with which no cofiTatlic ran cotaparc!i ArcordtiL-K to an a:-ciciit Idea, pelicans wr.rs Latched dtad, but tbo mala pelican brouH then to Jtfe by wounding Lis breast aiid Isttlncr cue drop of Llcol fall upon each. W. IT. Worthtcpton, editor of tnn ,lPatroDS of Ilus'iaii iry," published at CoIu!n!,ua;Ma8S., w.-iUs under date of F b. 25. Isfii: "Your great reuvitv, A-Jen's Ludj; Ui!.im, I have used in :ny f iruily for iiftcn yea for coneha and cold?, aad know it to be the best." 25c, .joe, arid ?t.oo a b.jUle. Senator Kvarts Lad a f rally renciem ro certly at which nit;o Krand-chfJdren tried to riJe h's krjec3 to udaraahy Coas" all at csce. F r throat lunf: troubles, the most re liable remedy is Ayc-r'3 Cherry Pectoral. Pby&Ieiass indorflc ll.H's Uair Itencwer. Its usj Is always atW:ded with iroo-1 results. Col. MeO.Jmotit, CV-LSt-rvative, recently c!c ft n-t.-l ly T. . Ilealy, Natlocaliut, will fur '.!! mt.ldle d'.viiioti of Armacih,ma.le vafifit by tb.e desth of A'r. McKar.e, Royalist. Y. rT,;-;!a iu I'i?','.- Cure for Consumption. C-J.r-.-s v, !:evi..' ;tl r r rut il'.cfl fail; "c. J.irni s Nielr'if, an old reel-lout of Ypsl Itr.if, M. 1 yesterday, aged 7- y.;ara, of par- 1. vox's latent Mi'Wdc signers prverts -.i.t-j mi I x:.K-i ir "ii runjiin ,;y.-r, ripplrc In r a.:is f-r u-eoribt; linwerily on the hc-c's. II. y.. Ili'! y, un ol 1 Lenawee county set It, CU at tii hc.mo in Frtield. ER-d GO "HoczS oa Rati" cluti out E ti, Mtca. U. "Uoujh on Conii" bard or toll coma, bonlvna. lie "a-jech on Tootaftcoe." lnsint ni:t 1M. Jomfs MeKtrnan, of Northville, and MIes M.'irh' Sh'inn-.n, of Avn Aibor, wcr3 married In the Jutter city. "ItOUUll ON i'lLKS." Crei or Lemon hold, ltcblnn. rrfttndlDg bier iin;. !otoni:.l or other, lntn.ai and externa iSL;dy hi fctcb piciKc Bare care, K. Uruulit. The. .St. Cbarlec, M!)., lurntlurj manufac tarir.? comracy has .if-s'.ned. The liabilities are about $2 too.) end tbs 5et $15,000. "XtOUOH OH ITtJll."' "JSoe'b n 1 cfc" ourpi tkin hurnor. ernptlo, rtif r ui, ft ter, return, fro lea feet, tklibil&. ilia. 1T7 puuon. barb r'l ltvi. tuc Jar. TlAi.rocr Pattck 1 Inraluahle fortonpi. bMbea, 4c rtlrieU O'iinlriiMy trttli all gravle. VKICTLY PURE- CEKIS for r'rop. ' Hlr in V4 IK Hi TKP.E SIZE BOTTLES. !? 25 CHHTS, CO GENTS, AND $1 PER BOTTLE S5 'K.?T tst'f I I.l-.? -rrj pnt up lorine renin ni'ulitl ln or an noo ueiirea (iuud Hull Lu w i'rlif.l COUGH. GOLD SP.j GROUP REMEDY TUOSE DEsItilXO A KEMEOT TOE CONSUIVI PTION OU AXT LUNG DISEASE, SimmiM Secure th I.arire 1 tO Itottles l)irrt Iiijk Hrcinnii my Kucli Itottlf. NOLO ItV ALL Mhliltl.NU DKALEKS. ELY'S no cam - DA! mm UllLHHl UHLftl PiTOr. V,AN?1 Cleanse tho Hcad- Kf?AM EWjJS Re neves Pain atM Once. Allays ln-rrvrD2 fi2 mmation. Heals Cores. Restores Taste and Smell.FiN; I: y . n r . ' . r Ir- Iff Apn Icle Is polled Into l A V r H V P K each iio-tfll. l'rico 50 eta. ISrUl I Im I tail at (irQirg!ts or ly tnall. Send for Circular. KLY BHOTIIERS. Druirglsta. Owego. y. Y. Gold & Jevellec m E D A L H'm nnordcil hy th Nalhiiiat Rlrtllcal Anooilnlioa TO THE AUTUOIl OP THI SCE OF LIFE 'who 1 the r!i!rf I'tsnnililnjr Phyielttn Ok l!io i'fc'i.iuv .lt!scl JiiJ-Jituli, It Ix'l.iw tin !... ll- ili -.-.i Ticuil- "ii Muii1.ik.1. K Imi'si.il Vitulliv, N.T"iis ainl Vhvsl.-Ji I iH-lnllty riri'uuri' lt-i-i"iu.i In M:iu.tiie Error of Youth, aao t'lf u-iti.i 1 inUtTli's ri'r-nlliiii? fro::i liullseretioua o l-xoc-" la i-iirl' lift--. wlil'-?i tl"t' auttior bau proved iri:iv he ollfviAto.1 i-.ml ..isillvely curt'il. It 13 e Klahilunl i;.M:ic..l VV.uk tl i al.c.ve.nnd I a t"-a tire to i-vi-iy vmuiK ami mUlille-nn.-J ninn. ar r:i!c'il as rei'rot-'iiiel or tho money refunded IB rvrrr li'.Ma'n-o ; ' j.hkh ; ,iii1,"n0'1 uniHlln, lul irllt : U: !re: c.iii'Uoiis lor an ;t-.-isea. rni-o ui"i Mi'.tlx.r. "TIhto I nuiin in i.itu , wm ... I .I .t K .l.lMHlC V r.'V. 1 1. i'A V: KVAl, -1 lioUlncb rt..Boston. Men. I t c most KiiM-'-int JJloo'l I'unSer .iver Invieora. nr. Tonic, arid Appetizer ever ! iiown. rlrnl letters CMilaii.ini: Iron prcr advertisod In Amer.. 'a. t'tipririciplod pLTors aro irnitatlnsr tho bfeiue; :iok out for fr:m:!n. Pee 3 a . .!: '. the r IIo-.vi-.t: fiirnn- Hi fPWI M ' T. J'AI L, 51 INN. St Clictnli) pino'K "RmHlv- ftir CA'arrli la tha F?3 Beat. KAtiit to Use, und Cle?. Atao rood for Cold In th nead, Bea&tche, Uay farar, Sc, 60 muB. i. i- r -s .". yen mm S. (I 5" to t.'.-h ii ri-tilH. .-i-mt how. Tills work U unl-.-r J:i!lv rcri.ii.m. rviiNl ly thf r.. ;l-rKV. pun-ntf :i 1. 1 l.'.-whers, s'ti-l I'verr one of It a inon- Oinii t mil IU.: . n lfr. Kvorv man. oun -r oM, ahoulil reaci .. ... I ..v. i.-1'..T-.T ttll'llllll COnKlllt IU 1 It ili u i,.. l the erreat Blood ParlAer and Life-jrlvlDg Priiiciplu; a Gentle I'nrgative and Toulc ; a perfect Kcnovator and Inviporator of the ayatem. In Vincjrar Ultter there ia vitality bat no alcoholic or mineral poison. Diteuc-M of the Skin, of whatever nartM or nature, aro litoraliv dug up ajid carried out aS the systeta In a short time iy the use of the ill t torn. Viiit'irar Hi(tcr allnvs fevertelinetm. It n lievee, and in time cures KheunaatiwD, Neuralela, Gout, and similar painful dtaeown.' Tlneiear ICIttcrs cures Constipauon uu p.evt-nts Warrhitt4 ncor before Ima a ir.nllcln beeft coin pourifie.d ponfS-Bsinpt the power of YutoxB 11T TKim to h 'ftl tbe pick. f . Send for either cf our valuable referencg boohs for ladies, for farmers, for merchants, ou? Medical Treatiso on IM-env, Ot our CetechlKi! ou Intemreranno and Tobio:o, which last shouia be read by every child and youtli in the land. Any two of the above books mailed free On w-cfipt of four oenta for rtfristration fees. R.H.HciOMildI?ra' Co., 632 Washington SL, N.Y. TLcso Discs represent tha 'opposltel tides of V. B. H. DOUGLASS & SONS' apic!is CouIi Drops fcr Courh3, CoMs and Sore Throats, an Alleviator of Consumption, and of erea , benefit in. most cases of I)yspepaia . (BcWABE OF IMITATIONS.) They are th result of ovor fort7 yr-nn' axparlana xn compaunOin.t COUOU KEMliDl-tB. , , Retail prlca 15'crt per nrlr RHlut. von bale nr all dkalkuh. SIOUX NATIONAL BANK, BIOUX CITI. IOWA. Depository of the United Htatec (Organized, June, 1881.) CAsn CAriTAL, - eWO.OQO.oa Surplus Fvxd, - - 30,000.00. DKPOSIT3, - - OOO.CXJO.Oa Loans, - - - 1,000,000.00. W. L. Jot, Prei't. D. T, Bzdcis, Vice-rrei't, A. S. Gi.BBXTeOM, Cubitri ROYAL REMEDY. Fo!t!vly ra irs-hllla-tJij a'-ar". Hoi.naS Frenck, principal Prmr rrr- trtci la Kaaaaa City aar, "Starllnc's K ?.! Kara ad y U vltkaaf i aoi bttbamoateartalacvr (or ByphUU kaowa. Ta asrea a klov Of IU aS TRACK MAR faetfav ara to many traif ?".4.rff tnV22 acka laiu tbtrtv daja. prlca lO.Jft ava lain flrteos oaya, price 5 . Tw Bottlaa tm aa'h rok.te.-takan alVaraatalf. "3 aoafldtntlal-iaaaioal adflea fraa. TratU saJlH adilraia, ax vmi. i na y -on m a iu aFal Ktnidr cjw aaaiai ?.-?S:.sYourcToA. nlir0riduUla Vellelsa. Wmmtt&a '-'i.'T3 7L Hmloal WukDaa k-NlKbt Lowni), ha. C'hrnnl. NirroalHod HuMlml DlMMM. CluarantyCurcor mony rrfiindd. Chanrx low. Art d lJM-rirMM lire Important. I imrcury or injurious mrUiriiir o,tllI lot rroia 1-uttneM. Pftliflnrj Irotn a dmUtnn trwatrj rVyriMtl. AltKll cilircnt vrv ifm ttuc fr"in p. or hrrakxro. Jt ymf cur a'ul 0fTl fur lenna. A UUUH tor lO'-H exri, i:imt i. . ai'ni ai-aird fi.rw- in .uime. or tho Lliiuor Habit positively etireu Dy Kiminmtea. lnj Ur. llalnew" Uoliien Hpfclllc. Jtcn IwglTen hi H oup of coffee or xmtk wunoui me kiiowikuk" nprn..n laklnir It. I abnulaitely barmlea, anil will hiTuM ..rm,in.. m anil awedy cure, whether tltf patient is a nioil-riite drinker or an alcoholic wreck. every liKtanro a perfect cura ha followed. I never fall. The nytem once ImpreRnated with It has been Riven In ttiousmnoa 01 cuan. a.iu iri tin) M'llll. It iH'Ooinea an uiimmsioiiiiy i..r luuuials twidroM (iOI.DRN tiVKClVlVVO. Im.ii.t Rim.-tit.. to cxHt. Kor irciuir n lemi- i in.iuain nun in. i'E:Tfkj o.. l!7 llnre Ht. Cinrlnnntl, M lupinisvK YlJ'llficir A Lifa Expcrienco. Remarkable and quick cures. Trial Packatros. Bond stamp Tor sealod particulars. Address Dr. WARD . fin. LM.n. Mo. JOSEPH iGILLOTT'S Bold by ALL DEALERS fhronchost tb "rSXl Cold JTTedal Paris Exposition, 1818. 1,000,000 At-n-a of lati'I for alr. from tlM to ).) prr aore. Nvl.ruHka Ii the :cc to pvt rich. Ifotdforcatalojeao with denrrlptlon of every county Is the itaie. C. E. OMAHA, NEBRASKA. ss w.m It1,nTtinrl.n-.. Hl v f iIcIbd fcarM nmwitaOnn nr na Ice uld b n-emtvj. He rUt iiTHLOPHOROH. and In two d a cured. AthlpV.riat ! pnttuunoa aA ,i..c'V.at; bV one .f Lv li-ai.v pliy.1. lan.ot ibc wmotfi. A't 'iur .lruili f ir Ailil"! .ro. If Jua caciurt rjj M ? him A" not try wm.r'M.iH cl.lut order at on, from tr. wa lil .. tid it -.r"' a rwlpt of t I CS per IwtUa. .t t r n-nna ro. Itg WH fit.. New YorV. MOW ISM USE 36,909. All persona aay theirpovla arrive het. W ..k yoo to mine our Improved Keller Positive Fare KeeMrlaM r(sed aad k'ertlllalaaj lrlll and our liar liakra. 1l' aa fil a the Ix-st. anxi can le sold aaihrap. Aw ara war ranted. Circular-. mailed free. Newark Mnchlne Co COlumbuS. O. d atura Urau.u Huum.-. ilaraf fc CiTlie t'lJi-st mt'dlclna In Uic world li probaCly 2 Dr. l8aao Thompson's T1i nrt!rl U a carefully prepared Phyli-!arTa,iiri. ci Iptlo'i. rind haa l.ri'o In ooiiMarit ui nrai a, reirtu rr. and not li listamilr.a; t ho manv ohrr prt acailiD Unit have lici-n loirmlin ol lnti ilits mavioi. Mie ania of thin artl-1-1 la t'ontHntlv Inoroaalnir. If fliodlf' tl..n no t: 11 ''veil It w ll n'evor fa'I. We prtrtlcurarly Invl'K ho ;i 1-n'liin of .i rSohirii to It a merit a. ioilX L. 'J Jl -IMKSO.N'. boNS CiK'SHUY.VmXt i are nliowo-l a frr trial cf thirtfTayt iof U us.. of Dr. Doe Hl:elt-iiraia uiiici-uub tim-u tuionfiory Aptill mancat cureor A K'.IlOea. lOr me. mrvi iri jaiiti v..r.u..t nuil avll klnrlrtxl triijj l' aaf Alto for many ervouaitewtirv. nwarji mmh ihHr.ik'niL Comtdotarc' z P" n to Ualth.VlRor so r'r iiwluj rtnd Mttnhood (ruarouu-wil. trntexl painr'hle't In x la linurreMl. Illuaa .'tr mallixl fre). Vf a.IJrosalng oimio ax ., Alan hall, JllcU. k... b.cncrti'u '...aealroa nm faitb la tw aai-, T, V V l leJv- I.UTTLM ITZt lt, to herwth a ViL. ,r.M ul r.0.ai7.a. DB. T. A. UCLt, t.l ri S4.. at. . 4fl ?l RfVrriTnniraan'TJlc Icara aara wltkosl rltaror yaraaait-M MUwanjias. as. TTn 1TP STCOT. Seoara a Baatnaaa XdaeaUloa f DUillijTnuil' trom BsTajrrs CofcLsss. atsgal aM-I. ilrn An aotlve Mi An active Man or Woman In r.-i 5 I nfroiinf In rell uur aotxla halarr M wr Haaiband Exiirrwf- p i.aea in at- Slav. ,1 : a V .1 ' '4. l.altMinf .utllt ritri nrT.ruian r.. rimnd ird fcilver.were Co. lioaton. Uaa A FREE SAMPLE. T I'll riiduoe ilr- Kfoat ln.ilaoli .Id rfnioily. OOH KIMi OK I'MN Inloovory family. 1 a .ad a aami'lo fn-f t m y ono r:i ling aiMrnaa. Mrnciori '.hltaieraiii sldivaa K. O. l.'lc.l AltUJ. Tols lo. Cte rbKf f(n fin paMtothsmambersatmsrnaaiS DU,UUU.UU by tha bliKtla Mea.a Kodown.ot Ainti f Minneapolis Minn, enainlned and approved by the InaurjiioaOainulaaloliort" Mllinraol. AS0tS wauled all ovar tha Mais. Circular inallad frea. innnifroAAU. 30 s week and azpaaaM Oullt worth $5 sod psrtlcalars V f VICKKKT. Autrnata. Mains. ICf? New Scrap Pletnrei and so Fancy Tarda, fnw Ihu Dialled For lOo. JUB8KX CARD V.OHni, 1 ronton. Cenn. 50 Chromo. Gold St-raa. Canla. Loop Fringe, iite. Card arnt port paid for Bo. Coon, bu.ais Crd WorWa. llanford. Conn. lOl"i M:VSCIHf fldlUKM and 4 Kew I yl I t.'hreino aud 'o d ?rrap arda. ent I'oatpald f .r lOe. CI-MlililiauoK. CAi.K CO.. enierhnw.k. t .inn. g.c rr.ist co. r - mm WE S J aiaffB Pens . -t . "I. a. rriUZJLa ' oril alJ ani o loaf ataa4la urn