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THE COLUMBIAN.
THE COLUMBIAN.
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VOL. HI.
ST. HElENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON: JULY 20, 1883.
NO. 50.
One sqns.re (10 11dm) first Insertion .
.11 00
. 1 08
KAea subsequent insertion..
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COLUMBIAN.
1 H .Pa
inn , 1 JL - 1 1 1
A HARVE3T SONG.
Come, Marr, blow tne horn! For the men are all
a-neia,
Itwuin hoar and more ago, I aaw them In
the corn.
Joey has the table spread and the harvest apples
peeled.
Come. Mary, come and blow the horn!
Come. Marr. blow the horn! For the moon la In
the skies.
With sweeter, lustier voice than your s was never
woman born:
But yonr voice will not reach the field beyond the
, So come, Mary, come and blow the horu!
Come, Mary, blow the horn! For the harvest is
begun: . , .
Half the rye Is In the sheaf, the field is lying
shorne:
The men must take a breath and be out into the
sun.
So come, Mary, come and blow the hern!
Come. Mary, blow th s horn! For the heat Is very
I know It by the blinking sun, the tuistlng of
the corn.
The pail will be dry and the men will thirst for
mere.
Come, Mary, cime and blow the bore!
Go, Mary, blow the horu! The wind is iu the
south:
Go out upon the bill where the echo will be
borne.
Then blow a ringing; blast from a full red mouth .'
tio, Mary, go blow the horn!
Oo, Mary, blow tne nor..! For the meu are still
a-field;
There's Peter In the yellow rye and Dinnls in the
corn:
Josy has the table spread and the harvest apples
peeld.
Ah. go. Mary, go blow the horn!
LOTE IN A SHOWER.
"I don't think I care about the nutting
picnic," said the rector's daughter.
"Not care about it?" said Horatia
Dale, "Why, I thought you always
vent every year."
"So I have always done, but I don't
think I shall go this year."
"Ah! I see jealous!" cried Horatia.
"I am not!" cried Fanny Forrester,
"and no one shall dare say such a thing
of me!"
"Nevertheless, it is true," said Mis
Dale, "you are not going to the nutting
party because Harvey Carroll has Oriana
Van Velsor to accompany him. Now,
deny it if you dare! What a goose you
are to go pining after a man that doesn't
care for you I"
"I don't pine," said Fanny.
"To break your heart because Harvey
Carroll prefers the gaudy city tulip to
our little wild rose of the woods!"
"I don't break my heart!" persisted
Fanny.
"Come, cheer up," said Horatia,
laughing. "Miss Van Velsor returns to
town to-morrow. The ward schools be
gin next week, and she must take her
place as second assistant schoolma'am in
Feake street. And even if she should
take Harvey Carroll's recreant heart
with her, why there's this consolation
there's as good fish in the sea as ever
came out of it."
"I hate vulgar proverbs," said the rec
tor's daughter.
"You hate Oriana Van Velsor, you
mean," said Miss Dale, shrewdly.
"Horatia," cried Fanny, "if you say
another hateful word, I'll "
"Come, now, Fanny," said Horatia,
putting her arms around the waist of the
sobbing girl, "I'm only trying to raise
your dormant spirit. Don't let th.s con
ceited city girl think she's breaking
your heart; and don't let Harvey Carroll
suppose he is the only man in the
world. Hush there they come up the
garden path!
.Not here, cried l anny.
"Yes, here. Why shouldn't
Oriana vaunt her conquest here as
as elsewhere?"
Miss
well
.A. W f A sy OUU CUV. A A J V -A. UiiLi J
"But you must," commanded
Miss
Dale. "Do you want her to think you're
a blighted blossom? Brush those big
drops off your eyelashes at once and
come into the parlor."
And Fanny Forrester decided that it
was best to obey her friend's counsel.
Miss Oriana Van Velsor was a tall,
brilliantly-complexioned young lady
who called herself five and twenty, who
wore her hair banged, and generally
wore a white lace veil drawn tightly
over the face, after the most approved
style.
"Harvey Carroll; the handsome village
lawyer, was well-nigh infatuated by her
metropolitan airs and graces, to the
grief of little Fanny Forrester who, up
to this time, had been his favorite com
panion. -
To lose the rich guerdon of Harvey
Carroll's love bowed our country girl's
heart to the very ground, and made her
think vaguely that it could not be so
very wrong to commit suicide after all.
For Fanny had no mother, and the rector,
honest man, lived in a world of books
and manuscripts, from which he emerged
reluctantly, thiee times a day, to eat his
abstracted meals.
Misst Van Velsor giggled, flirted her
fan, as Fanny Forrester greeted her in a
low voice, scarcely even glancing at
Harvey Carroll.
"You're goiug to the nutting party, to
morrow, of course, Miss Forrester," said
she. Fanny was about to t ay no; but
she caught Horatia Dale's warning eye.
and change! her answer to:
"Yea; I suppose so."
"We are going," said Miss Van Velsor
"Mr. Carroll and I. He has depicted
the delights of a nntting party in such
vivid colors that I really am quite
anxious to participate in one. I do hope
it won't rain."
"Oh, it won't rain," said Mr. Carroll.
"I don't think it will rain," said
Fanny feeling she ought to say some
thing. "And," Harvey added, "if you are not
provided with an escort, I am sure Miss
Van Velsor will be very glad to have
you join our party."
"Delighted," chimed in Oriana.
"I thank you," interposed Miss Dale
before Fanny could reply; "but Fanny
is to go with my brother Lemuel."
(Now Lemuel was an old bachelor, re
garded as the common property of all
the girls in town )
"Yes," said Fanny, clutching at the
straw of escape, "I am to go with Lem
uel Dale." And Harvey Carroll's con
science did sting him a little as he met
the glmea of uuconscious reproach in
poor Fanny's eyes.
"She's a little jewel," he confessed to
himself. "But then she is only a pearl
and Oriana is a diamond of the first
water; and there can be no better chance
for me to propose than to-morrow."
And morning came one of those bril
liant, summer-like days that seem to
have been plucked out of the golden dia
dem of August itself.
"How delightful!" lisped Miss Oriana,
as she sat gracefully on a twisted tree
top, and drank champagne out of a sil
ver cup. "Ah, how indescribably
charming is the country !" .
"Could you be contented to live here
always?' asked Harvey Carroll, as he lay
stretched on the green turf at her feet.
"I could desire no happier fate," said
Oriana, lifting heir eyes heavenward.
"Then " Harvey was beginning, when
honest Lemuel Dale came stumbling
over the uneven ground toward him.
"I say, Carroll, what are! yon dream
ing about?" cried he, "Don't you see the
thunder clouds piling up in the west?
Don't you feel the sudden ohill in the
air? Everybody else is seeking shelter
from the storm, while you stay here, ap
parently blind, deaf and dumb! Luck
ily for you that I came back for Miss
Forrester's shawl and roused you from
your dream!" And Fanny, leaning on
Dale's arm scarcely looked up while he
spoke.
Miss Van Velsor caught up her lace
parasol with a shriek. "Is it going to
rain?" she cried. "Oh, I have such a
dislike of thunder-showers!! Oh, do let
us go to a plaoe of shelter, some nice old
farmhouse, or dear old dame's honeysuckle-covered
cottage."
"The nearest place is the rectory at
the foot of the hill, half a mile off," said
Carroll, doubtfully.
"We shall be happy to welcome you
there," spoke up Fanny, nnoonseiously
heaping coals of fire on her rival's head.
"Oh, do let us hurry," cried Miss
Van Velsor, catching at Carroll's arm, as
the thunder broke in low,- rumbling
tones and the first big drops began to
fall.
But Miss -Forrester and Mr. Dale
reached the rectory by a short cut across
the meadows, and were at the door to re
ceive their dripping guests when at last
they reached the haven of refuge.
Carroll surrendered Miss Van Velsor
at once into Fanny's care. "Take her up
stairs, please. Miss Forrester, said he,
in a startled tone. "I think there's
something the matter with her."
"Oh, I am all right," said Miss Van
Velsor, with a simper. "Only a little
tired with the haste we have maJe."
But Fanny started back with dismay,
quite comprehending Mr. Carroll's dis
comfiture when she caught a glimpse of
her rival's face. It was striped like a
zebra where the streams of rain .had run
down her brow and cheeks, the streaks
of red and white paint blending curious
ly together; the penciling I was washed
entirely from one eye-brow; the other,
shielded by a fold of the lace veil, was
totally unchanged. Fanny was silent,
but Lemuel Dale, honest old bachelor
that he was, proved less discreet.
"Excuse me, Miss," said he, with his
eye-glasses at his eye, "but 1 rather
think your paint is washing off."
"My paintV" repeated Miss Van Vel
sor. I
And then happening to see the reflec
tion of her fa je in the opposite mirror,
she uttered a wild shriek, . and went off
into good old-fashioned hysterics.
When she came out of them again Mr.
Carroll had vanished from the scene.
Miss Oriana Van Velsor went back to
the school in Peake street quite unfet
tered by the golden clasp of an engage
ment ring, and they say there is to be a
wedding at the rectory, in which pretty
Fanny Forrester and Harvey Carroll are
to play the principal parts.
Strange how slender a straw will suf
fice to turn the current of the stream of
life! If it had not been for that thunder
storm in the woods, the whole aspect of
Miss Oriana Van Velsor's existence
might have been different. i
But her complexion, unlike the roses
and lilies of Fanny Forrester's face, was
not waterproof.
Chine.se Fishing.
Among their fishing appliances are
dip-nets, large squares of netting ex
tended on a frame work of bamboo,
which is weighed and suspended from a
pole, that has to be alternately raised
and lowered either from a bank or a
boat and brings up each ' time all the
fish that may be passing ov6r it at the
time. The casting net is very familiar,
but China is a peculiar home, and it is
there usoJ in varying sizes by men and
children of all ages. A more original
method of capturing fish is that pursued
by what are known in Swatow as "slipper-boate."
These craft are generally 25
feet long and 18 inches wide, and they
fish in couples, moored side by side, on
bright moonlight nights, their only im
plements of capture being a white board
fastened along the outer , side of each.
This board catches the bright rays of the
moon, and the fish, who would seem to
be-of a confiding nature in this portion
of the empire, are said to mistake it for
water, and leap from their native element
in the slipper boats in large numbers.
Innumerable devices of this character,
peculiar to the country, are here on
show in the Chinese annex. This would
seem to be a branch of industry natu
rally commending itself to the
minds of a people ! who haye
always been universally credited with a
more than ordinary amount of cunning.
Their fish traps are, moreover, manifold
and varied, and of the highest workman
ship and utility. Ia the British Isles
this is a means of taking fish practically
unknown and unpracticed, with the ex
ception of our stereotyped eel and lob
ster pots, but the Chinese devote them
selves largely to these strategic methods
of fishing, and with an unvarying suc
cess that nothing but the boundless fer
tility of their rivers and seas could ex
plain or withstand, me day will per
haps come when western ideas will pene
trate sufficiently there to insure the sup
pression of wholesale fish poisoning and
such liko fatal poaching arrangements
for the capture of small fry as are rather
too candidly exhibited here; but at pres
ent we can only admire, perhaps with a
tinge of dejection, the hundred and one
devices employed in a land where,
though every form of unsportsmanlike
destruction is rampant, (he fish supply
seems to remain as abundant and acces
sible as ever.
Cormorants aro another means em
ployed by the Chinese on lakes and the
shallower sheets of water for takine
I fish. This aquatic species of hawking-
I oi very oia date, and . was known and
practiced in England, whither it doubt
less was imported from the east, two
centuries ago. But it is followed with
success only by the painstaking celes
tials. The birds, which have to undergo
a regular training, are .taken oat in a
boat, and before work commences a strap
or ring is placed round each cormorant s
throat, sufficiently tight to prevent its
swallowing any fish it may catch in its
strongly-hooked beak, but not so tight
as to prevent respiration. The dark
winged fishermen then go off and cater
for their master with success and regu
larity, being rewarded with an occasional
fish, which they are permitted to swallow
when the strap has been removed.
Above all things the Chinese are a frugal
nation, making use of substances that
would meet with culinary contempt in
any other country. The discarded shark
represents to them a valuable supply of
food. The fins go to form the well
snown soup, or are used in the prepara
tion of gelatine; while the skin, after
being cleaned and prepared, serves for
covering sword handles, and for various
other ornamental purposes. Even the
cuttle-fish, a creature repulsive to fish
ermen of most other nations, is the object
of careful pursuit with nets and
lines by the Chinaman, at a time when
other work is slack; and, carefully dried
and packed in bales, commands a ready
sale all through the Flowery land. The
oyster, also, and its pearl bearing kin
dred, the Chinese mussel, are not merely
looked upon as dainties. Though culti
vated with skill and science as such in
the first place, their refuse shells are
burnt for lime, and, while still living,
they are induced to secrete the hard
white substance which is so highly valued
for its beauty and scarcity all over the
world. London Telegraph.
Retention of thft Juices la Cooking
Meats.
Existing thns in a liquid state in our
rdinary flesh meat, it is liable to be
wasted in the course of cookery, es
pecially if the cook has only received the
customary technical education and re
mains in technological ignorance. To
illustrate this, let us suppose that a leg
of mutton, a slice of cod, or a piece of
salmon, is to be cooked in water,
"boiled," as the cook says. Keeping in
mind the results of the previously de
scribed experiments on the egg-albumen
and also the fact that in its liquid state
albumen is diffusible in water, the read
er may now stand as scientific umpire,
in answering the question whether the
fish or the flesh should be pat in hot
water at once, or in cold water, and be
gradually heated. The "big-endians"
and the "little endians" of Lilliput were
not more definitely divided than are cer
tain cookery authorities on this question
in reference to fish. I refer ta the two
which are practically consulted in my
own household, that by Mrs. Beeton,
and some sheet tablets hanging in the
kitchen. Mrs. Beeton says pour cold
water on the fish, the tablets say im
merse it in hot water. Confining our at
tention at present to the albumen, what
must happtn if the fish or flesh is put in
cold water, which is gradually heated?"
Obviously a loss of albumen by exuda
tion and diffusion through the water,
especially in the case of sliced fish or of
meat exposing much surface of fibers cut
across. It is also evident that such loss
of albumeu will be shown by its coagula
tion when the water is sufficiently heated.
Practical readers will at once recognize
in the "scum" which rises to the surface
of the boiling water, and in the milkiness
that is more or less diffused throughout
it, the evidence of such loss of albumen.
This loss indicates the desirability of
plunging the fish or flesh at once into
hot water enough to immediately coaga
late the superficial albumen, and there
by plug the pores through which the
inner albuminous juice otherwise
exudes. But this is not all. There are
other juices besides the albumen, and
these are the most important of the
flavoring constituents, and, with the
constituents of animal food, have great
nutritive value; so much so, that animal
food is quite tasteless and almost worth
less without them. I have laid especial
emphasis on the above qualification, less
the reader should be led into an error
originated by the bone soup committee
of the French Academy, and propagated
widely by Liebig that of regarding
these juices as a concentrated nutriment
when taken alone. Mattieu Williams, in
Popular Science.
Mixed Accomplishments.
Miss Rosalind H. Young is a resident
of Piteairn Island. She is a descendant
of one of the mutineers of The British
ship Bounty, the crew of which founded
a colony on Piteairn Island in 1790, con
sisting of nine British sailors, six native
Tahitiah men and twelve women, which
has since, grown into a moderately
populous village, with comfortable cot
tages, a church and a school house. The
residents all read, write and speak the
English language. Miss Young, how
ever, is a prodigy of scholarship in the
colony. Some of our readers will remem
ber that two years ago she wrote an
article, descriptive of the. island, for
Scribner'a Magazine. A retired tea cap
tain, who visited the island not long ago,
draws this picture of Miss Young.
Her father is pastor of the island
church and teaoher of the school, and
she is organist and assistant teaoher.
She is about twenty-six years old and
weighs two hundred pounds, never had
a shoe on her foot, and if necessary
could swim off to a ship four miles from
the island and back again to shore, and
then go into the little church and play
the organ nearly as well as any young
lady in the states.
There were nine rough-looking fellows
and a real bright, sensitive boy on the
chaingang in an Alabama town. The
boy attracted a great deal of attention,
on account of his youthfulness and in
nocence. An Indiana lady, noticing
him as she passed along the street,
stopped and spoke to him. The guard,
in a very rough manner, ordered the
boy to go to work. He looked up into
the lady's face, and his eyes filled with
tears, as he turned to obey. Just then
the express came thundering along, and
without a word to any one, he threw
himself in front of it, and was rushed
into a shapeless mass.
THE CESSION OF LOUISIANA.
Events beyond the ocean were work
ing more rapidly for the interest of the
United States than any influences the
government itself could exert. Before
Mr. Monroe reached France, in the
spring of 1803, another war cloud of
portentious magnitude was hanging over
Europe. The treaty of Amiens, which
proved only a truce, misconstrued and
violated by both parties, was about to be
formally, broken. Fearing that in the
conflict to oome England,' by her super
ior naval force, would deprive him of his
newly-acquired '. colonial empire, and
greatly enhance her own prestige by se
curing all the American possessions
which France had owned prior to 1763,
Bonaparte, by a uali in diplomacy as
quick and as brilliant as his tactics on
the field of battle, placed Louisiana be
yond the reach of British power. After
returning from St. Cloud from the re
ligious services of Easter Sunday, April
10, 1803, he called two of his most
trusted advisers, and in a tone of ve
hemence and passion said:
"I know the full value of Louisiana,
and have been desirous of repairing the
fault of the French negotiators who lost
it in 1763. A few lines of a treaty have
restored it to me,' and now I must ex
pect to lose it. The English
wish to take possession of it, and it is
thus they will begin the war.
They have twenty ships of war in the
Gulf of Mexico. The con
quest of Louisiana would be easy. I
have not a moment to lose in putting it
out of their reash. . The Eng
lish have successively taken from France
the Canadas, Cape Breton, Newfound
land, Nova Scotia and the richest por
tions of Asia. But they shall not have
the Mississippi, which they covet."
The discussion went far into the night.
The two ministers differed widely in the
advice which they gave the first consul.
One was in favor of holding Louisiana
at all hazards; the other urged its pru
dent cession rather than its inevitable
loss by war. The ministers both re
mained at St. Cloud for the night. At
daybreak the minister who had advised
the cession was summoned by Bonaparte
to read dispatches from London, that
mo mm' received, and which certainly
foreshadowed war, as the English were
making military and naval preparations
with extraordinary rapidity. After read
ing the dispatches the first consul said :
"Irresolution and deliberation are no
longer in season. I renounce Louisiana.
It is not only New Orleans that I will
cede: it is the whole colony, without any
reservation.' I know the value of what
I abandon. I renounce it with the
gravest regret. To attempt obstinately
to retain it would be folly: I direct you
to negotiate this affair with the envoys
of the United States. Do not even await
the arrival of Mr. Monroe. Have an in
terview this very day with Mr. Living
ston. But I require a great
deal of money for this war. I will be
moderate. I want $50,000,000 for Lou
isiana." The minister who was opposed to the
sale interposed, in a subsequent inter
view, some observations "upon what the
Germans call the souls, as to whether
they could be the subject of a contract
for sale." Bonaparte replied with un
disguised sarcasm: "You are giving me
the ideology of the law of nature. But
I require money to make war on the
richest nation in the world. Send your
maxims to London. I am sure they will
be greatly admired there." The first
consul atterward addeJ: "Perhaps it
will be objected that the Americans will
be found too powerful for Europe in two
or three centuries; but my foresight
does not embrace such remote fears.
Besides, we may hereafter expect rival
ries among the members of the union.
The. confederations, which are called
perpetual, only last till one of the con
tracting parties finds it to his interest to
break them."
Louis Napoleon embodied the sub
stance of these views in his "Idees Na
poleonnes," and sixty years after the
first consul spoke the words quoted his
nephew believed the time had come; and
the Mexican invasion, based on the as
sumed destruction of the American
union, was undertaken. The destruction
which followed was not of the union, but
of the unhappy Austrian prinoe who
represented his policy, and later of the
Emperor himself.
Two days after this conversation Mr.
Monroe opportunely arrived, and on the
30th of April the treaty ceding Louisi
ana to the United States was formally
signed and sealed. Mr. Monroe and Mr.
Livingston had no authority to negotiate
for so vast an extent of territory, but the
former was fully possessed of President
Jefferson's views, and felt assured that
his instructions would have been ample
if the condition of France had been fore
seen when he sailed from America
Communication with Washington was
impossible. Under the most favorable
circumstances an answer could not be
expected in less than three months; and
by that time British ships would prob
ably hold the mouths of the Mississippi
and the flag of St. George would wave
over New Orleans. Messrs. Monroe and
Liyingston realized that hesitation would
be fatal, and they boldly toot the re
sponsibility of purchasing a territory of
unknown and flmost unlimited dimen
sions, and of pledging the credit of the
government for a sum which, rated by
the ability to pay, was larger than a sim
ilar pledge to-day for $500,000,000. The
price agreed upon was $11,250,000 in six
per cent. United States bonds, the inter
est of which was made payable in Lon
don, Amsterdam and Paris, and the prin
cipal at the treasury in Washington, in
sums of $3,000,000 per
ning fifteen years after
annum, begin
the bonds were
issued.
In a separate treaty, made the same
day, the United States agreed to pay
2v,Wu,VW irancs aaauionai, to oo ap
plied by France to the satisfaction of
certain claims owed to American citi
zens. Thus the total cost of Louisiana
was 80,000,000 francs, or, in round num
bers, $15,000,000.
It seems at this day soarceiy credible
that the acquisition of Louisiana by
Jefferson was denounced with a ..bitter
ness surpassing the partisan rancor with
which this generation is familiar. No
abase was too malignant, no epithet too
coarse, no imprecations too savage for
the great philosophio statesman, who
laid the foundations so broad and deep
for the country's growth and grandeur.
President of a feeble republic, contend
ing for a prize which was held by the
greatest military power of Europe, and
coveted by the greatest naval power of
the world, Mr. Jefferson, through his
chosen and trusted agents, so conducted
his important negotiations that the am
bition of the United States was success
fully interposed between the necessities
of the one power and the aggressive de
designs of the other. Beady to side with
either of these great powers against the
other for the advantage of his own coun
try; not underrating the dangers of war,
and yet ready to engage in it for the
control of the great water way to the
gulf the president made the greatest
conquest ever achieved. without anteced
ent war, and at a cost so small that the
total snm expended for the entire terri
tory does not equal the revenue which
has since been collected on its soil in a
single month in time of great public
peril. The country thus acquired forms
to day the states of Louisiana, Arkansas,
Missouri, Iowa, Kansas, Nebraska, Min
nesota, west of the Mississippi; Color
ado north of the Arkansas, and Oregon,
besides Indian territory, and the terri
tories of Dakota, Wyoming, Montana,
Idaho and Washington.
This coup d'etat of the first consul
was an overwhelming surprise and dis
appointment to the English government.
Bonaparte was right in assuming that
prompt action on his part was necessary
to save Louisiana from the hands of the
English. Twelve days after the treaty
ceding Louisiana to the United States
wan signed the British ambassador at
Paris, Lord Whitwoith demanded his
passports. At Dover he met the French
ambassador to England, General
Andreassy, who had likewise demanded
his passports. Lord Whitworth loaded
General Andreassy with tokens of esteem,
and conducted him to the ship which was
to bear him back to France. Acoording
to an eminent historian, "the two am
bassadors in the presence of a great con
course of people, were agitated, uneasy,
sorrowful. At the moment of eo im
portant a determination the warlike
passion subsided, and the men were
seized with a dread of the consequences
of a desperate conflict. At this solemn
moment the two nations seemed to bid
each other adieu, not to meet again till
after a tremendous war and the convul
sion of the world." -
The consequence that would have fol
lowed England's acquisition of Louis
iana must have proved in the highest
degree embarrassing, if not disastrous to
the union. Had England
seized Louisiana, as Bonaparte feared,
the Floridas, cut off from the other
colonies of Spain, would probably have
fallen into her hands by easy and prompt
negotiation, as they did, a few years
alter, into the hands of the United
States. England would thus have planted
her colonies on the three land Bides of
the union, and on the ocean side her
formidable navy confronted the young
republic.
No colonial acquisition ever made by
England on any continent would have
proved so profitable to her commerce
and so strengthening to her military
position as that of Louisiana. This fact
was clearly seen by Bonaparte when he
hastily made the treaty ceding it to the
United States. That England did not
attempt at once to seize it, in disregard
of Bonaparte's cession, has been a source
of surprise to many historians. The
obvious reason was that she dreaded the
complication of a war in America when
she was about to assume bo heavy a bur
den ia the impending European con
test. The inhabitants of the Union in 1803
were six millions in number, of great
energy and confidence, a large portion
accustomed to the sea and able to send
swarms of privateers to prey on British
commerce. Citizens of an independent
government would be even more
formidable than were rebellious colon
ists in the earlier struggle with the mo
ther country, and, acting in 'conjunction
with France, could have effectively
maintained the contest. Considerations
of this nature doubtless induced the
Addington Ministry to acquiesce quietly
in a treaty whose origin and whose assured
results were in every way distasteful
and even offensive to the British govern
ment. Blaine's Forthcoming Book.
Match -Milking.
American mothers have acquired some
reputation for skill and energy in connu
bial managemen t on behalf of their daugh
ters, says a writer in Chambers' Journal.
A Parisian newspaper some time ago re-
corded an exceedingly clever bit of
match-making,executed by an American
lady of this order in brilliant style. Her
eldest daughter had sailed from New
York with some friends for a tour of
Europe, and after "doing" the continent
had returned to the capital for several
months of rest and pleasuring. Attrac
tive and clever, she had man) suitors,
some more, some less desirable. She
could not marry them all, so she adroit
ly reduced the number to two--tbe best
Oi 1'ae lot, of course.
Then she wrote homo to her mamma,
explaining the exact situation of affairs,
adding that they were both so hand
some, agreeable, well connected and
rich, that she could not decide between
them, and closed with the question,
"What shall I do?" Ten days later she
received a cablegram from mamma: "I
sail to-morrow; hold both till I come."
The next transatlantic steamer brought
Mrs. Blank with her second daughter,
just turned eighteen, and fresh from
school. On her arrival the old lady at
once took the helm of affairs, and steered
so deftly through the dangerous waters
that in a few weeks she had reached port
with all colors flying. To drop metaphor,
she attended the wedding of her two
daughters at the American chapel on the
same morning. After due examination
she deoided that neither of the nice fel
lows should go out of the family.
Here is an illustration of a much less
1 skillful attempt at match-making, with a
very different denouement. A certain
member of Parli.ment, who owned ex-,
tensive estates, was spending a few days
j at the residence of a noble family. There
were several interesting and accom-
plished young ladies in the family, to
j whom the honorable member showed
j every attention. J ust as he was about
to take leave, the nobleman's wife pro
ceeded to consult him upon a matter
which, she declared, was causing her no
little distress. "It is reported," said the
countess, ' "that yoa are to marry my
daughter .Liucy, and what shall we do?
What shall we say about it?" "Oh." re
plied the considerate M. P., with muoh
adroitness, "just say she refused me.
We have said that men do not. as a
rule, figure conspicuously as match
makers; nor do they; but the judgment
and policy exhibited in this connec
tion by a knowing old gentleman
of our acquaintance could hardly be sur
passed by the most accomplished tacti
cian of either sex. "Brown," said a
neighbor to him one day, "I don't see
how it is that your girls all marry offns
soon as they get old enough, while none
of mine can marry.
"Oh! that's simple enough," he re
plied; "I marry my girls off on the
buckwheat straw principle."
"But what principle is that? Never
heard of it before."
"Well, I used to raise a good deal of
buckwheat, and it puzzled me to know
now to get rid of the straw. Nothing
would eat it, and it was a great bother to
me. At last l thought ox a plan. 1
stacked my buckwheat straw nicely and
built a high rail fence around it. Mr
cattle, of course, concluded that it must
be something good, and at once tore
down the fenoe and began to cat the
straw. I drove them away and built up
the fence a few times, but the more 1
hunted them off, the more anxious they
became to eat the straw; and eat it they
did, every bit of it. As I said, I marry
my girls on the same principle. When a
young man that I don't like begins to
call on my girls, I encourage him in
every way I can. I tell him to ocme
often and stay as late as he pleases; and
I take pains to hint to the girls that I
think they'd better set their caps for
him. It works first rate. He don't
make many calls, for the girls treat him
as coolly as they can. But when a
young fellow that I like comes around,
a man that I think would suit me for a
son-in-law, I don't let him make many
calls before I give him to understand
that he isn't wanted about my house. I
tell the girls, too, that they shall have
nothing to do with him, and- give them
orders never to speak to him again. The
plan always works exactly as I wish. The
young folks begin to pity and sympa
thize with each other; and the next thing
I know is they are engaged to be mar
ried. When 1 see that they are deter
mined to marry. I of course give in, and
pretend to make the best of it. That's
the way I manage it.
An old lady who had several unmar
ried daughters fed them largely on a hsh
diet, because, as she ingeniously ob
served, the fish is rich in phosphorous,
and phosphorous is the essential thing
in making matches. If the phosphoric
diet caused the young ladies to shine in
society, they in all probability did not
adopt it in vain; for, just as fish are
easily attracted in the night by any
bright light thrown upon the water, so
young men are invariably found to flock
after any girl who "shines, even though
her accomplishments may be of a very
shallow, superficial, or phosphorescent
character. Mo experienced match
making mamma requires to be taught
the value of display as an almost certain
means of attraction. 1 hat is the secret
of the ball suppers and iced champagne,
the heavy diessmakers's bills, and the
thousand and one other items of ex
travagance that have to be met in
order that the young ladies may
make a "respectable" appearance, and
niav finish with a successful match. And
that is why so many of these match
making ventures have so often resulted
in the most deplorable sequels. .Dis
play is met with display the one fre
quently ts hollow and false as the other.
The distinguished foreigner or the fasci
nating young nobleman is discovered
when it is too late, to be nothing more
nor less'than an unprincipled adventur
er; and the merchant, who was supposed
to be little if anything short of a million
aire, is found also when it is late, to be
on the verge of bankruptcy. Very often
in such matches both parties are sold,
and then the universal verdict is, '.'served
them right"
The English Board Schools Again.
A correspondent of the Pall Mall Ga
zette writes: "I have been examining
board schools in geography, and fanoy
that a few of the children s answers
mav have a general interest. Their ex
cellent textbooks deal little with statist
ics, and much with climate, history and
national manners; it also contains some
simple and interesting observations
about free trade. But the most interest
ing book can be made dull. I found
that the children, while able to give an
accurate list of the exports of Norway,
could not recfll the picture of a fiord.
They knew that the latitude of Paris was
49 degrees. ba when asked. 'What is
latitude?' they were either dumb or in
clined to the following views: 'Latitude
means lines running straight up;' lati
tude means zones or climate; 'latitude
is measured by multiplying the length
by the breadth. Again, together with
correct liBts of imports. I received the
following definitions of custom duties:
'Customs are ways; duties are things
that we have to do. and we ought to do
them' (from a girl.) 'Customers' duties
are to go in the. places and bay what
they want, not stopping about, but go
i ii i .Vui.
out wuen iuvj rw uuuo ;
"If these were exceptional answers,"
fit a wrifAP continues, "one would not
complain; but they were typical."
Inhalation ov Aib Exhaled by Con
sumptives. Fresh proof of the danger
of inhaling air exhaled by persons hav-
ing lung diseases nas Deen given oy a
characteristic French experiment. M.
Giboux took four young, healthy rab
bits from the Bame litter and kept them
for 105 days in cages as follows : Two
were placed in a cage where thay were
obliged to breathe the air expired from
animals with consumption, twice a day
for two hours; in a short time they be
came siokly, and on killing them, they
were found to have tubercles in the
lungs. The other' two breathed twice a
day the same air, but disinfected by be
ing passed through cotton wadding im
pregnated with carbolio aoid; these rab
bits remained in good health, and were
finally eaten by the experimenter.
CHANCES FOR A S2ULE.
"What is true bravery?" asks a New
York paper. It is going to sleep while
your wife sits up in bed to listen for bur
glars. .
A Pittsburg female physician says :
"Woman can understand woman." All
we've got to say is, if she can she's
mighty smart.
Not only must the front windows be
boarded up at once, but the bell knob
mast be tarnished. Tarnish can be
bought at any drug store.
Translated from Omnibus : Liae He-
Well, Grettie, how pleases you tho
kisses taste a little after brass.
Young man, keep off the gr iss.' It is
said that even a moderate indulgence at
lawn tennis creates an unquenchable and
inhuman appetite for ioe cream.
Dialogue in a Saginaw, Michigan,
school : Teaoher "How many races
are there?" Pupil "Three: the spring
meeting, midsummer speeding, and fall
fairs."
"Where did you get your wonderful
power of language?" asked an admiring
auditor at the close of a lecture. "Oh,"
replied the lecturer, with a laugh, " I
used to work in a barber shop.
It was, of course, an Irishman in Lis
very best mood who said that landlords
are so grasping that they take a tenth of
all the tenants have, and thev would even
take a twentieth if the law allowed them.
The younger lady "Oh, aunty, did
yoa observe what a badly made dress
Mrs. Brown had oo?" Aunt (who
couldn't bear "that woman ') "Ah,
that's how it was it fitted her so well.
dear yea."
A woman in Akron, Ohio, who had
been married four times, was asked:
"When are you going to be married
again?" "Never! I shall forever re
main single. I hate a man," was her
reply.
"Never engage in anything you would
not open with prayer," said a very stiiot
orthodox preacher. Whereupon aa
irreverent individual arose and inquired, ,
"What would you do with a dozen oys
ters?"
"Pass? Of course I'll pass!" replied
twelve-year old school girl in this city
the other day. "Doesn't my brothsr
keep company with the schoolma'am,
and will she dare 'snub one of the
family?"
"No, sir." said the gentleman. "I am
not brutal in disposition and tastes; but
I hate hypoorisy in man or beast, and if
two dogs have a rooted antipathy for
each other I don't like to see 'em con
ceal it."
"Father," asked a Beaoon Hill lad,
"may I go out to-night to hear Governor
Butler speak?" "Yoa may, indeed," said
the high-toned Boston parent, "and
here's some money to buy a hatful of
stale eggs.
An exchange says: "A Mississippi dog
bit off a boy's noso and swallowed it."
This shows the thoughtfulness of the
dog. If he had swallowed the nose
without biting it off it xnnst have proved
fatal to the boy.
"Why do good little children go to
heaven when they dio?" aakeu the
teacher. "Because," answered the bright
boy at the head of. the class, "bocause
it's unsafe to trust children in a place
where there's fire."
"There's one thing connected with
your table," said a drummer to a west
ern landlord, that is not surpassed by
even the best hotels in Chicago."
"Yes?" replied the pleased landlord,
and what is that?" "The salt."
"Did that lady take umbrage?" said
the proprietor of a Harlem store to his
clerk, who had just had a wordy dispute
with a customer. "Oh, uo; she took ten
yards of Turkey rod calico, and wanted
buttons to match.
A poor woman in Lawrence was visited
by a female missionary, who, in the
conversation, asked her if she intended
to bring her boy up to any trade. "Well,"
said the party addressed, "wid respects
to yer, I think 1 shall bring him up to
be an Odd Fellow.'
"Yes. said the gilded youth, "I
-want a Wife to make home ploasant."
"But," objected a friend, "you d be
howling round town nights all the
same. "les; but now no oouy cares,
and it would be such a oomfort to feel
that somebody was at home mad about
it."
"T)r vnn 1a1iava that a woman nowa
days would die for the object, of her
love?" asked a bachelor friend. . "I
don't know whether she d die or not,
answered the benedict, but I've known
her to go wild when the trimming didn't
suit her."
On a. Rniithern veranda: "Where is
your lover, Colonel Blank? He has not
been to see yon for a week. &o, dear
fellow, he has been detained in the city
on business. He shot a judge or some
thing the other day, and it would not oe
proper for him to leave until the trial ia
over.
A vnnntrater of a. dozen vears went to
pass the Whitsuntide holidays with bis
grandmother in the country. In. the
evening when they sat down to dinner
the grandmother cried: "O, my! There
. ihirtAAn of ns!" "Don't be worried.
grandmother,' cried the youngster; "I
will eat for two!"
The Fees Given Away by an English
1'ilnce
Among the items in the estimate of ex
penses for tne .unse ox idinourghs
special mission to Mosoow is 1000 for
"gratuities. People who think that
this amount is exorbitant will perhaps
change their opinion on learning that
when the Emperor Nicholas vicited the
queen at Windsor Castle in 1844 he gave
2000 to the servants and 1000 pounds
to the housekeeper, as well as six gold
snuff boxes, with his pioture set in dia
monds, to the lords of the household,
and six with his cipher to the equerries
and grooms in-waiting. These were the
chief gifts; bat for other dependents
about a bushel of rings, watches and
brooches were distributed. When the
I late Emperor Napoleon staved at Wind-
,' sor in 18U he left 1600 for the i errasts,
i
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