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About Polk County times. (Dallas, Or.) 1869-1??? | View Entire Issue (Sept. 18, 1869)
FIRESIDE MISCELLANY. ABOUND THJt HEARTH. ,Whatever be our earthly lot. Wherever we may roam, £iUI to oar heart* (be brightest spot Is round tbe hearth at home, The borne where we reecivsj our birth, Tbe dearth by wbiuh we sat, N o other spot on all tbe earth ' Will ever be like that. .When Winter coming in its wrath Piled high tbe drifting snow, Safe clustered round the cheerful hearth, We watched the firelight glow ; N or brighter seemed tbe ruddy flames, 'Than did our hearts, tbe while A loving mother breathed our names * With sweet approving smile. When wearied with our eager chase Through many a tangled path, flow sweet tbe dear, accustomed place To take around the hearth; And still when by our toil and care We feel ourselves oppressed,' Our thoughts forever cluster there, And there alone find rest. Bright promise o f the rest above, Sweet shelter from the Storm, Home, hallowed by a mother's love, Hearth, by that love made warm ; Though wildly roared the storm without, W hat reeked we of’ the ¿old. What plaee for any fear or doubt Within that loving fold? And when some little trouble weighed Upcn tbe chlldis-b heart, Till trorn our brimming eyes It uiado The gushing tear-drops start, flow quick he lore that genial glow, We felt each sorrow cease, And back the crystal current flow, To flood our hearts with peaco. And brighter with tho passing yoars Seems childhood's sweet employ, And even sweetey still appears Each well remembered joy , Around th<} cheer* ut hearth at home, Where we in childhood sat; No other spot, where’er we roam, Will ever be like that. D ID N ’T K N O W H E R S E X . A few nights since the house o f a prominent resident o f an Atlantic city was entered by a burelar and some val uable jewelry and otiier property stolen and carried away; but, before leaving the house, it appears he paid a visit to pearly every appartment in it. Traces o f him were found above and below stairs--wherever, indeed, it was prob able any valuables could be obtained. It so happened that one of the family belonged to that much abused and very excellent cla-s o f society called “ old. maids.” She is a free hearted, geaer ous lady, intelligent and refined, and the only fear that her well-balanced mind has ever known, is the apprehen sion that in some evil hour Satan will lure her affections into the keeping o f that abomination o f her mind, a man. Now, whether the burglar knew this peculiarity o f the lady’s mind or not, he at all events determined to play her a very practical joke. To this end he carefully removed from the chair on which she had neatly folded and laid it, all her wearing apparel, and substi tuted from another room a complete set o f gentleman’s clothes. Thon taking off a huge pair o f false whiskers he carefully adjusted them to the face of the sleeping lady. O f course he could pot waitto sec the denouement, but that pleasure was reserved for the family the next morning. Awakening at an early hour, the good lady proceeded to the mirror to enjoy a look at her face. The firet glance she took petrified her with indescribable horror. Was she inJeed a man ? The latent superstition of her nature reviving, she imagined that Sa tan had been playing her a horrible revenge for her animosity to the male creation She staggered to a chair, and, almost broken hearted, concluded to dress and send for a barber. But now she noticed for the first time that her clothes, too, were gone, and a geutfe- xnan’s outfit was ’ substituted in their stead. She was certain now the meta- morph- sis was complete, and resigning herself to the situation, tried to don the apparel. But having no experienefe in the adjustment o f this new-fangled attire, and habit being stronger than instinct, she found that every time she put the pantaloons over her head »-he encountered an impediment that defied all her efforts to overcome. In short, the pants wouldn’ t go over her head. A t last, in despair, she rang for assist ance. and her maid appearing at tbe door, she c r i e lo u t : “ Don’ t come in. Betty, for I ’ m a man now; hut just please step and ask my brother if he usually puts his b e e c h e s on over his head, or commences feet foremost.” It is needless to say the message astonish ed the household. It was some time before the lady would admit to her apartment any one of either sex, for fear she might make a m istake; hut finally, dne more adventurous than the rest, pushed open the door, and soon convinced the sorely troubled maid that she had not forsaken her estate. but was yet one o f the angels o f the earth. Y O U N G MAN Y O U A11E W A N T E D . A lady writer under this heading hits off the men as follows : A woman wants you. Don’ t forget her. Don’t wait to be rich ; if you do, ten to one you are not fit to be married Marry while you are young, and strog gle up together. But mark you, man, the woman don’ t want you if she has to divide her affections with a cigar, spit toon, or whisky jug. Neither does sin» want you if you don’ t take care o f her and the little ••afterthoughts” which are sure to follow. Neither docs she want you simply because you are a man, the definition o f which is too apt to be — an aniuial that wears bifurcated gar* ments ou his lower limt»s, a quarter- section of a stovepipe on his head, swears like a pirate and is given to til:hy practices generally She wants you for a companion, a helpmate— she wants you to have learned to regulate your gppetite and passions ; the image of God, not the likeness o f a beast, I f you are strong in a good purpose, firm in resistance o f evil, pure in thought and action, as you require her to be; and without whioh inward purity neither o f y<»u are fit to be husband and wife; if you love virtueaudabhor vice, if you are gentlemanly, forbeari g and kind, and not loud*ta)kiug, exciting and brutal, young man, that woman wants yon— marry her when you like, whether she is pool or rich ; we’ ll trust you both ou the above couditiuus, without auy further security. Humorous Say logs and Doings. fabm ers ^ STORE ! ' W illamsttelton W oiks Cimpa«} — An editor who has a weakness for sweet lips and sweet cider says ho will M oney Saved ! never cease to advocato tho “ freeduui o f the press.” — A solicitous parent in this locality recently sent his daughter to a noted occulisr to see if she could uot be cured PJTHB LARGEST AND BEST STOCK OF of winking to certain acquaintances she Dry Goods, is wont to meet on the streets. . Clothing, — A story is told of a soldier in the Boots, Shoes, army whose only fault was that o f drunk Groceries, enness. ilis colonel remonstrated and Crockery, with him : “ Tom, you are a bold bad fellow aud a good soldier, but you get That baa ever been offered in Polk C r , is just received at drunk.” “ Colonel,’ ’ replied Tom, “ how C R O N E & W O L F ’S can you expect all the virtues o f hu man character combined for sixteen New two story building at INDEPENDENCE, which wc will sell CHEAPER thau tbe CHEAP dollars a month.” - -A girl, keeper, of a toll gate in EST. We are prepared through rocont arrange England, was aske4 by a swell veloci- ments made in San Francisco, to find Constant pedist. who thought to chafe her, how sale far all kinds o f Produce, and paying the much he had to pay. “ That, sir, re highest market price for WHEAT. We also have in connection vrith our store, plied she, “ depends whether you get A LARGE WAREHOUSE, off your dandy-horse and drag it through ; because in that case every where we offer storago on good terms, We also keep two wheeled vehicle drawn by a horse M O L I N E and B O S T O N C L I P P E R or an ass pays three cents.” — In crossing the street, each lady you meet, [ i f she follow the prevalent fashion,] lifts gently her dre*s, say a foot more or less, and keeps it upraised till you piss on. In passing her by, you look down “ on the sly,” and get a glimpse o f the leather, which, comely and ne-it, encases her feet, and protects the dear things from the weather. You inwardly pray, as you go on your way, [and >ure there’s no harm in the prayer] A C o o l P r o c e e d i n g .— A married that as long as you live, the best clouds couple in this county, who had b.een may give a good rain every day iu the living together for something over .a year. year separated recently iu a very pecu — “ What is your consolation in this liar manner, and, to say tbe least o f it. life?” asked a clergyman o f a young under very unusual circum-tanecs. W e girl, in a bible class that he was cate know nothing about their married life, chising. The young lady blushed and whether it had been happyorothcrwi.se, hesi'ated. “ W illyou tell m e?” urged but ¿oppose it to have been very agtee the clergyman. “ I don’ t want to tell able between the parties. The husband his name,” said tho ingenou.s maiden } came home to dinner one day, as usual, •“hut I ’ve no objections to tcllin you und while eating, his wife said to him, where he lives.” ••Stephen, you had better eat a hearty — An Alabama young lady, caught, dinner for it is the last that [ will ever smoking a cigar, gave it as her reason cook for.you.” l i e inquired what she that “ it made it smell as though there meant, when she informed him that she was a man around.” had just received a letter from a young — One night while I was sleeping, I man— a former beau— whom tjie loved had a dream o f joy ; I thought I had better than auy one else in the world ; a charming wife and darling little hoy. that she was going to leave her husband aud go to him, and that sbeflevcr loved I hived, I hugged, I kissed them— I (Stephen) her husband. After dinuer ate them almost whole. My little hoy was over she attired herself neatly, und got angry, my wife began to scold soon after a hack called; her trunk, But soon a scream terrific awoke me already packed, was placed on it, the from my sleep ; my face was scratched woman got inside, the driver cracked in pieces— plague take that little ¿ r o t! his whip, and away went the wife from My wife she was a pillow, my baby was home aud husband forever. Such are u c a t! gentleman, visiting P P.................. * “ ' " ‘ “ p his the circumstances o f the case as they t — A - young in t e n d e d . m e t a rival w h o was hoiiio - have been told us.— Evansville (jourier. wh.it advanced in years, and w is h in g to insult him, inquired how old he was A R e m a r k a b l e C o i n c i d e n c e .— “ I “ I can’ t exactly tell,” replied the other; don’ t pretend to claim,” said a story ‘ but I can tell you that an ass is older teller, “ that nty mother was a prophet at twenty than a man at sixty.” ess. But uo utterance of prophet ever — An editor of a paper informed his met with more literal fulfillment than readers that the ladies always pull off oue o f her predictions o f what would the left stocking last. This, as may he be the result o f a certain course <>f con supposed, created some stir among his duct on my part if persisted in ‘ You'll fair renders, and while in positive tenbs scratch a poor man’s head all your life,’ thev denied the statement, they stated said she, and though twenty years have he had no business to know it, even if tolled away since then, her prediction such were the fact, and pronounced still proves true. 1 was trying to lay him no gentleman. He proves it, by something lor a rainy day out of a however, by a short argument : Whi n salary of 8100 per month, yet could not one stocking is pulled off there is an get along with less than three cigars a other left on ; pullmg off this is taking day, which cost 37* ceuts, three drams the left stocking off last. o f ‘ Bitters,’ by way of appetizers, which — Tho latest undergraduate joke of cost 37 } more, had to go to the theatre Yale College was the transfer, nt mid- at least once a week, aud the soiree every Saturday night, yet, notwith nitrht, o f a florist's sign— “ New Haven standing my self-denial I an» as poor Nnrserv” — to a conspieuous position on today us 1 was when these prophetic a flourishing y^nng ladies’ seminary NORTH FRONT AND E STREETS, PLOW S. i CRONE & WOLF. N E W F IR M ! iu its action- IRON V FOUNDERS, S T E A M E N G IN E AND B O I L E R B U IL D E R S . HESE WORKS ARE LOCATED ON THE E L M B O L D ’ S EXTRACT BUCHI! bank o f tbo riror, one block north of T heilth and vigor to tbe freme, and H gives Couch’B Wharf, and have facilities tor taming bloom to tho pallid cheek. Debility *s *cco* ~ out machinery promptly and efficiently. panied by many alarmiog symptom*, on i We have secured tho services o f Mr. John treatment is submitted to, consumption, insan Nation, as Director of tho Work», whose expe ity or epeleptic fits ensue. rience on this Coast for sixteen years gives him a thorough knowledge of the various kinds of machinery required for mining and milling purposes. Wo arc prepared to cxecuto orders for ail classes o f Machinery and Boiler Work, such as MINING AND STEAMBOAT MACHINERY S A W aud F L O U R IN G M IL L S , Q U A R T Z MILLS, M I N I N G OR NON-RETENTION, OR IN CO N TI NENCE o f Urine, irritation, inflamation or ulceration o f the bladder or kidney*, diseases o f the prostrate glands, stone in tbe bladder calculus gravel or brickdust deposits, and all the diseases o f the bladder, kidneys and drop sical swellings USE HELM BOLD’ S FLU ID E X T R A C T BDCHU. F P U M P S, Ac., Ac., Ac. Manufacture and Repair Machinery of all kinds. Iro n S h u tte r W o r k nt San F r a n c is c o C ost an d F r e ig h t . Wheeler A N E W GOODS ! N EW STYLES! Randall’s Patent Grinder and Amalgamator. Dunbar’s Self-adjusting Patent Piston Packing Stevens’ “ * “ “ “ Either applied to old or new steam cylinders. Q u a r t z S ta m p e r s , S h o e s and D ies, A N D R E D U C E D P R IC E S Of the best hard iron. AT THE OLD HEADQUARTERS OF W. C. BR OW N & C O , 1 AITERS. — DO YOU WANT SOME Gaiters? if so. supply your J. II. LB »VIS’S. G Fine Cloth selves at Brick Store, Main street, opposite the Coart House, Dallas, Ogn. MORE T H A N X NFEBLED AND DELICATE C O N 8T I- 'j TUTIONS o f both sexes, use Helmbold’s Extract Ruchu. It will give brisk and en«r* gctic feeling, and enable you to sleep well. I 200,000 P E R S O N S Bear testimony to the Wonderful Curative W E HAVE JUST RECEIVED TIIE Largest and most Complete stock of GFNERAL MERCHANDISE FSNAKE NO MORE U N PLEA SAN T OR 1 unsafe rcme«iies for unpleasant and dan. gerous diseases Use Helrabold ■ Extract Bu- chu and Improved Rosy W ash. Ever' brought into Polk comity, including Spring and Summer goods o f the Latest Styles, which wo are determined to sell as Cheap, or Cheaper than those o f less inducement. Wc have a very fine assortment o f L A D IE S ’ T R IM M E D H A T S ! To which wo invite the attention of the Ladies, Also, to our full stock of DRESS GOODS, con sisting o f Silks. Irish and French Poplins. French Merinos, all wool Empress and half and all wool Delaines; and especially to onr com pleto assortment of Biass Duttons. Fringes. Gimps ar.d Velvets of all colors, our Ginghams, Lawns, Cambrics, Swisses, etc., etc., iu great variety. We eall tbe attention o f GENTS and HEADS OF F A M IL IE S 'to our fine assortment of C L OT HI NG and H A R D W A R E , GROCERIES and CROCKER Y A ll o f w h ic h w e w ill e x c h a n g e fo r W o o l, W h e a t. B a c o n , B u tter, E g g s , P la x s c e d o r w ash ed C otton H a g s. 1IE G L O bY OF MAN IS STREN GTH . n<l debilitated del Therefore tbe nervous and should immediately use Ilclm bold’s Extrhet Buchu. CALIFORNIA VINEGAR BITTERS Manufacture«) from the native Herbs and Roots ol Calirorniat J 3 T - The Great Rlood Purifier Call and soo us You will always flint ut FOR IN FLAM M ATO RY AND CIIUON happy to see y>>u, happier when wo show you IC RHEUMATISM AN1) «O U T . DYSPEP eur goods, and happiest when we sell to you. lA or INDIGESTION. BILIOUS, R E M IT TENT and IN TERM ITTEN T FEVERS. W c . BiuSV v N & u o . DISEASES OF THE RLOOD, L IVE R. Dallas, Polk county, April 30, 1869. 1 K ID N EYS and BLADDER, these BITTER." have been most successful SUCH DISEAS ES are cause«} by V IT IA T E D BLOOD, which is generally produced by derange uicut o f the N o rth w e s t C o r n e r M ain an d M ill S ts.. D IG ESTIVE ORGANS. Cleanse the Vitiated Blood whenever you D A L L A S, OGN. find its impurities bursting through the skin in Pimples.-Eruptions, or oores; cleanse it when you tiud it obstructed and sluggish in the A V IN O PIT RCI1 APED tho OLD STAND formerly belonging to W. 8. Hobb, xml veins; cleanse it when it is foul, and your feel wishing to live and let live, I wil' sell at l«.w ings will tell you when. Keep the blood heal thy, and all will be well. rates, FOR CASH, everything iu my line: AGENTS, DRUG M chu. ANIYOOD AND YOUTHFUT. V IG O R arc regained by lielmbold’ s Extract Bu- STORE. H s nATTERED CONSTITUTION RESTO R, ED by Helmbold's Extract Buchu. Drugs, P aten t .Medicines, It. II. M cD O Y 1 L D A Co., Im porting Wholesale And all kinds o f PURE LIQUORS, put up expressly for Medicinal use. P E R F U M E R IE S OF ALL K IN D S . Also, Soda, Cream Tartar, Salevalus, Sago, Bird Seed Paints, Oils, Varnishes, Brushes, Domestic Dyes. Washing Powders, , — A shrewd old gentleman once said words were uttered. Truly a remark to his daughter : “ Be sure, my dangh able fulfillment o f prophecy.” tor, never marry a poor man. But re r-jf* No man has got so high as to be member that the poorest man in the And everything elso that is kept in a FIRST CLASS DRUG STORE. independent o f the success ot agjieul world is one that has money and noth ture ; no man is so low as not to be af- ing else.” 1 B . F . N I C H O L S , Druggist. — An exchange has the following: fc»LUd by its prosperity or decline. The cultivation of the earth is the most iin “ It is said that there are more editors A. N. GILBERT. J. W. GILBERT. unmarried than anv other class o f pro portaut labor of mao. Mau may he G IL B E R T B R O S ., For the reason, we civilized iu some degree, without the fessional men.” AND progress in manufactures, and with little suppose, that the majority o f them are commerce with his distant neighbors; men o f fine sentiment, and do not wish I M P O R T E R S M ANUFACTUR’ S but without cultivation o f the earth, lie to starve anybody’s sister. OF is in all countries a savage. Until bo — A paper of Oakland. Ohio, says, gives up tho chase, and seeks a living at a hotel recently a smell o f gas was from the earth, he is a roaming barbar discovered issuing from the room of a AND DEALERS IN ian. When tillage begins other arts bridal party from the conntrv. Admis S h o e F in d in g s ! follow. The farmerc, therefore, ar»-the sion being demanded to put out the ¿»ns, founders o f human cixilizution.— D an the rural swain replied that “ he blew French and American Calfskins, iel Webster- it out. and then the darned thing smelt U P P E R A N D SOLE: L E A T H E R , so bad that he put his stocking over it.” M O R O C C O S , L I N I N G S , EltC., - J* A couple of Yankee girls put a Sure enough, there was the stocking hull frog into the hired man’s bed to see drawn over the burner and tied down S a lem • - - - Oregon. if they could get him to talk. Daniel with a shoe string. threw the frog out o f the window and H ig h e s t C a sh P r i c e P a id for H id e s — How may this paper b<* placed so never said a word. Soon after he put a that two persons may stand on it at the and F u rs. 6 bushel of chestnut burs into the girls’ same time without seeing or touching GEO. A, EDES. }• ■{ SAM'L HQAbRICK bed, and about the time he thought they eech other ? Place it oi) the thresh would make the least shadow, Daniel GEO . A . E D E S A Co., hold and shut the door. went to their door and rattled the latch — \ Paris letter says a fast actress furiously. Out went the light and in visited tho Clarenton mad house, a few went the girls, but they didn’ t stick, Perhaps the largest class o f invalids who days ago She asked one o f the pati- | I ^ r i Y - g T S I , M e d i c i n e s , though the burs did. Calling them, he have sought and obtained tbe happiest results en's, “ What hrought yon here?” He begired them to lie quiet, he only want FAINTS, OILS and DYE-STUFFS, from Dr. Walker’s V b o b t a il * V ibkoar B it ed to know if they had seen anything replied, “ An infernal woman like you !” ters , include those whose indescribable com She exclaimed. “ W hy, really. th «t man At the old stand formerly occupied by M. R. of that pesky bull frog, he’d gin two plaints, for wont of abetter name, are known Cox A Co., Union Block, is not so mad as people pretend he i s !’ ’ b T th* general term “ Dyspepsia." Even the dollars to find him. — Some girls, in kissing, purse up Commercial Street, Salem. most delieate And immediate relief by a prudent their mouths as if they were about to Au old criminal was once asked use o f the “ Bitters," fqt their penetratin'- prop, Liberal discount made to Country what was the first step that le<J to his perform on the flageolet. This is wrong. erties search, eleanse snd invigorate every por Traders. “ The first Kissing is a luxury which should be tion o f tho human organism, correcting its dis ruin, when he answered: GEORGE A. EDES, indulged in with “ an appetite,” and not 3 SAM’L HEADRICK. eased action, and restoring its hraltby vitality step was cheating a printer out o f two nibbled at as if it were “ pizen.” year* subscription. When I had done As a consequence o f th«se properties, the inva lid is astonished to find his health and energy restored by a remedy at once so simple aud in viting. H CHU ie pleasant !• ***** from all injurious properties, en<T lmmeàfhte P O R T L A N D , OGN. IMPORTANT TO EVERYBODY! .3ÜH38IÜÎÏW ELM B O LD ’S F M TÎD * * * * * ? * ^ ? " til B O O TS AND S H O ES , — Quilp intimates that he believes in \ ELCH’S \l , PREMIUM SALMON— BEST that, the devil had such a grip on me — in kits k or barrels. ^ ’ , __, , . I T V in market— in nrorntin s movement— tri AU P m P nr '■■■ on on washing v a c h in o : , vi that I coaid never possibly shake him the o woman's For sale at COX * E A im A R T ’ S, off.” i day. j Salem. DRUGGISTS, Corner Tine and Sansome Streets, San Fran cisco, Cal., and Sacramento, Cal., and 34 l'latt street, N. Y. 8 ly s A L T .-C A R M E N ISLAN D AND L IV ERPOOL Salt, in quantities to suit, at COX A BAItH ART’S, Salem. ELMBOLD’S E X TR A C T BUCTIU AND impro ed Rose Wash cure secret and del icate disorders, in ell their stages, at little e x pense, little or no change in diet, no inconven ience and no exposure. It is pleasant in t&sto and odor, immediate in its action and free from all injurious proptrtios* H $13 R U Y T H E B E S T $13 SENT BY EXPRESS, CASH ON D ELIVER?. T H F G E N U IN E O r o id e G o l d W a t c h e s ! MPROVED AND MANUFACTURED BY nELM BOLD ’S FLU ID EXTRACT BUCHU us nre all tho best make, Hunting rate*, Is a certain care for diseases o f tbe finely « based and beautifully enamelled, I'atent and Detached Levers, fu ll jeweled, and every BLADDER, KIDNEYS, G RAVE L, DROPSY» watch perfectly regulated and adjusted, and ORGANIC W EAKNESS, FEM ALE G u a ra n te e d by ttie C om p a n y to keep cor rect time, and wear and not taruith, but retain COMPLAINTS, G EN ERAL an nppearanco equal to solid gold as long as D E B IL IT Y . % worn. These celebrated watches wr are now send And all the diseases o f tbe ing out by mail and express. C. 0. D., any- U R IN A R Y ORGANS, frticre within the United States and Canadas, at tbe regular wholesale prico, payable ou de Whether existing in livery. ' MALE OR FEMALE, No money Is required In advance, as we prefer that all should receive and sco the goods From whatever cause originating, and no before paying for them. matter o f A single AN atch to any Address, $1&. HOW LONG STANDING. A CLUB OF S IX , with an extra watch to Diseases o f these organs require the use o f a the agent sending the club, $90, making seven diuretic. I f no treatment is submitted to, Con watches for $90. sumption or insanity may ensue. Our flesh Also, a superb lot o f most elegant Oroide and blood are supported from these sources, Chains, of tho latest and most costly styles and and the patterns, for Ladies’ and Gentlemen’s wear, H EALTH AND HAPPINESS, from ten to forty inches in 'ength, at prices of $2, $4, $6 aud $8 each ; senj^vlien ordered with and that o f Posterity, «iepend uf on prompt use watch at tbe regular wholesale prices. ol a reliable remedy. D e s c r ib e th e w a t c h re q u ire d , whether HELM BOLD’ S EXTRACT BUCHU, Ladies’ or Gentlcmeu's size, and address your Established upwards of 18 years, prepared by orders and letters to H. T. HELMBOLD. Druggist, T H E O R O ID E W A T C H CO., I 13-8t 1-18 F u lto n stre e t, N e w Y o r k . i t lit S 3 ? f f i K . r i u W o , WATSON & GRISWLLl, A - rch itects and P r a c tic • • * «. a l HOUSE CARPENTERS, I N D P i i N D E N C E , O RE G O N ILL take Contracts for Building Houses town or W o f any description or size in eountry. Satisfaction guaranteed. LL SORTS OF GOODS SOLD Cash or Marketable Produce at 1 FOR J. II. LEWIS’S. Price, f l 25 P«* bottl°» » r delivered to apy addrefs. SOLD BY for ** DRUGGISTS EVERYWHERE $-ly