*****************^ ******************^ ***ij|UQli ¡^ Little
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Wife aud five children in a parlor car,
FOOLED TH E MANAGER.
and at hie saiigestiou the little crowd
S
«
w
J . W . K e l l y , " t h « R o l l i n g M i l l M a n ,-*
divided and approached the two men to
M a d e t h e H i t at Hl« U t e .
T h e W a y s o f th » C o a a try .
urgtto with them.
A theatrical manager tells thia story
“ Gentlemeo," replied the first had
In the murning Mr.' Thouiae brought
oat and saddled bla' Bale, cleaned and man when asked not to do any shouting, 1 regarding the late J. W. Kelly:
In his earlier days Kelly was appear-
'Loaded bid shotgun and was about to “ that feller insolted Die, and I moat I mg at a variety boll in Ban Francisco.
TtCe away when 1 asked him If be were |
r“ “
u a tu n d man
j
I and allo« wlllin to accommodate, but The proprietor and manager of the place
going on a Journey.
donf ask me fn spare him. In three was a German, wlio had a great admi
• Only Jees ever to Sceltevi lie. ” he ininita he’ll bo a dead man.”
ration for the "rolling mill m an.”
1
While
Kelly was appearing at the thea
irplM-d.
The other man was just as ferocious
''I was thinking of going over there When the passengers hoped he would | ter the German arranged to pnt on the
myself, to saa if I had any mail. Haven’t' restrain himself aud preserve the peace, rtage a series of tableaux depicting the
heroism of the members of the Bon
yea got soother mala around the place?”
waved them aside and aaid:
‘‘I ’ve apaaad that critter half a down Franeisoo fire department Kelly was
- "1'ra got the mewl all right,” he re
to stand at one side of the stage ami re
plied. scratching bis bead and looking times on his mother’s ucconnt, but now cite some original verses describing
bis
end
has
come.
His
grave
has
bin
«round, "bat ya'd better jest wait till
i«ch pioture or tableau os it was shown
tomorrer. Bain yo’ ar’ a stranger /ere. dug aad his headboard ia ready, and in the stage. The German was wildly
Jo' don’t know the ways of the kdptry I ’m goiu to fire six redhol bullets into tnxious that thia tribute to the firemen
his carcass!”
,
and might git jnter trubble. ”
should make a biton the opening night.
Neither of them could be moved by
' What sort of trouble?”
"Oh, Chon,” he said, “ do your pest,
argument,
and
we
could
see
that
6acb
"Waal, stranger, let me «orIcr ex-
uud you vill make tc bit of your life!”
was
growing
fiercer
aud
fiercer,
when
jkteia things to yo’. That ar mewl has
On the day of the opening Kelly re
got a gait on him, and I ’m goin over to Iho baldheaded man trotted in Mid had mained at home, so ns to he in the best
’SuMtaville to ride him in a race ag’in a word with the station agent A mo l>ossib]e trim for thp show. Boon after
ment later that official appeared, hav
Don Carter's m ew l.”
8 o'clock be started for the theater.
"Then I should certaiuly like to go ing iu jiis hand a «tout club. He walked
Just before going into the hall it oc
over 1 don’t remember that 1 ever saw up the ’platform to where the men stood curred to him that he could have some
eying
each
other
with
folded
arms
aud
'« race between males. ”
fun with the German; so he turned up
' " What I ’m ssyin to yo’, stranger, is heaving breasts, and halting before the his coat collar, mussed his hair and
that yo' don't know the ways of the one on his right be said:
went reeling into the vnriety hall.
"Ike Hooper, you wuut to chop it
X«stry ano had best stick rightTtere till
There was a sound of crashing glass
' uuueiier. In the fust place, nwi'n Dan right off short and git out of this!”
ware. The German had dropped a tray
Ike hesitated uboot five seconds and full of beer glasses.
ain’t any too friendly. He's a
hand to blow around, and if lie then .got iato his saddle and galloped
"Oh, Chou,”’ ho moaned, waving his
«<<» to bltwiu too much tbar’li be a off, aud the agent took a fresh grip on hands in fhe air, “yon haf wooined «11
'font and no tu«wl race. The foal will his club aud said to the other:
tetaplozel Vat is tc good of bailing
"Jim White, you make me tired, and Irishman to vork for yon?”
•Mil b«twean me'u Dsn, but befo' It’s
through ell the crowd w ill mix in. If I’ll give you oao minute to fly!”
"Thash all right,” mumbled Kelly,
It didn’t take Jim over half a minute staggering np to him.
yr»'
that, yo’d probably git hart Ia
to mount bi« cayuse aud bead away,
that plain?'' **
"Go vay, ” shouted (he manager.
aud us the passengers murmured their "You lief kveered te show."
"Yas. ”
«
astauishuent
aud
thanks
the
agent
" M Dan don’t git to blowin, mebbe I
With that the manager rnshed for the
will, ” he caatroued. “ I ain't tpuob of a flung hia elub away and «aid: x
stage and arranged that a soubrette
"Those crltteis acted in a play for should announoe the tableaux. Then be
hand to Maw, hut I can't alius bold
myself down, f t I Mow, it w ill he the two or three nights last year, and they went out in front and waited, all in a
aatue aa if be Mowed—-a foal and mo’ come down here every day or two to tremble, to see if she could get through
or fees sbootiu, and nobody kiu tell bow pose and show off and «cure women and with i t In the meantime Kelly went
many wMlhshwr«. Oan’ty o ’ understand children. I’m getting weary of it, and around on the stage, and just us theson-
if they don't quit 1*11 chuck tho both of
too»?”
the stage Kelly fol
"1 think I do.”'
b
1 ’em into a barrel and ship ’em o u t» ’ j brette walked on
~
tako (;are of
M ««**•»
Q uad .
"Waal, mebbe tbar won't be ant the country I •
this.
t -
The German saw him come on the
stage, and with a cry of mortal terror
ran for the front door. He knew that
Kelly would spoil everything. Ho stood
in the street, mopping his brow and
moaning in agony, when be began to
| hour loud applause inside the theater.
He could hardly believe his senses.
Every few eeconds there would he a
i roar of laughter and handclapping. He
timidly went back into the hall, and
there was Kelly, sober as a judge and
“straight as a string,” making the hit
of his life. After that ull the German
could do was to sit down at a table to
weep and order beer for everybody
i around.
In telling the story Kelly used to say
, Merely to finish the story, "I saw him
after that when I really did have a tidy
number aboard, but be only laughed aud
•aid, ‘No, Chon, you can’t fool m e.’ "
—Chicago Reccril.
SKETCHES BY M. QUAD
bmpeelally true of Hood's rill», lor is> « d i-
•lue e n t ruotetaed so great euntive power la
to small sdom . They ora a whole modteloo
Hood’
s
all
chest, always ready, al-
■ ■ ■
ways elBeieut. always sot-
tsfactory; prevent a ookt
or fever, cure all liver Ills,
s k i t headache, jaundice, constipation, etc. 29c.
The only Fills to taka with Hood’s Sarsaparilla.
III gfc
w
ANTED-TKUSTWORTHY AND
travel for responsible, established house
in Oregon. Monthly $66.00and expenses.
Position steady. Relerence. Enclose
sel (-addressed stamped envelope. The
Dominion Company, Dept. Y Chicago.
MONTE MEI IN LONDON
A Q UAINT NARRATIVE OF AN ENCOUN
TER W IT H CARD SHARPS.
W
m
▲ w ay M ack l a
1 1 4 5 t h e T h r w i C a r d T r ta k
P la y e d —T h e
M e th o d
o f 8 u a r ta *
m ilia r T r ic k o f
M ow
a
W e ll
T l e t i a — T h a Fa<
T u r u la O U p •
C «aam r.
Three card monte is not a reoe-t in
vention of the card player by ai
means. Back iu the early fifties it e>
dently flourished in the English co
tai, as the following letter to the Brook
lyn Eagle suggests. The oosnmauioat:
comes from William Day, who had «
experience with card sharpen in Lc
don in 1865. After tltimbering for mi.
a loug year the detuils coma with
flavor of the old days in their qua.
narration:
One day in the year 1066 I w
standing at the corner of Goeat Kolla;,
street and Blackfriars’ rood, Isoodoi
I bad not even a single acquaiatanoe it
the city aud very little money, and as
I was thinking where f could go next
so it would cost uothing a plainly dress
ed man spoke to me. Re Mid; “Can
you tell me the way to fit. lam es’ park?
I am a stranger in London. In fact,
1 was left some money down in Hitcb-
iu, Hertfordshire, and as I intend Io go
to Australia I thought I would like to
see something of London on ray way
there.” I said: "I have nothing to do.
I ’ll show yon the way to St. Jantee’
park.” He appeared quite grateful. I
said, “ We must go along the new cut, ’’
certainly one of the poorest streets in
London, though it appears to bo always
full of people. So we went along, hut I
noticed when there was n crowd he
went ahead and pushed through the
crow.<]‘
thought to mytelf. You are
not like the country men that stand
aside waiting for the crowd to go by. ”
When we got to the corner of the
Waterloo Bridge road, bo asked me to
take n glass of hitter« Bo we entered
the gin palace, aud there we met u
well dressed yoqng lady. Tho stronger
asked her to take a bitter. She said she
wculd prefer giu. We took ale. I noticed
she lin«l a well filled satchel, and when
she opened it to take her handkerohief
cast I noticed it waa bulged out with
soils of olil newspapers. We then went
out aud walked to tbe Westminster
Bridge road. I said to him: "Here we
are now. Go over this bridge, pass the
houses of parliament aud Westminster
abbey, tnrn to the right up Parliament
street nnd there you aro at the Horse
Guards eutrance to the park.” He said;
“ I am much obliged to you for your
A SLIGHT INTERRUPTION.
trouble. Take a glass before y«ro leave."
While we were drinking he said: ‘‘I
I n e M e B t o f a K e p o r t« r * B V i s i t t o a F i r e
MR. T B tW A t « U S AMHTT TO R ID E AW AY.
K a g r ln e H ouimv .
have a friend here, hut 1 have lost bim
A reporter who had sought at a fire | in this great city. He ia stopping oppo
engine
bouse information on a point site some largo theater, bat I cannot
en-KWov.
blow is '»all. awd
Etan w ifi her x
concerning
which the driver oaald best think of its name. Tell me the names
The burglar noiselessly opened tbe
ortok togofite*. Artar awhile w e’ll git
of the theaters. I aaay xemombor its
theaa
Is oat tar the race, and Dan door .of the bedroom and glided in. Aft inform h im «tood talking with the name.” I wsartionadseveralanrnes, nud
ha’ll * o M «0 work thtegs so that his er flashing his bnllaeye lantern around driver by tbe stall of one of tho litirow when I mentioned ’•Victoria” he CTied,
' w ill g it about tan fast to start. tbe room be placed it on tbe dresser and The hone w ar seeueed by a kta strap "Why, that U iA ” I aaid: "We passed
>’• pswtjr ofiraigbt ou moot thitfgs, coolly proceeded to collect everything oommctily used iu toe t'tgartn— * One it, hut it is no trouble. I’ll take you
kart when it «ama to a inewl race lie’ll valuable. He had been at work perhaps end of the tie strap ta made fast by a there.”
Mat his o * n father. If I see that he's, two minutes when tbe occupant of tbe i staple driven into the side of the stall, ; I took tbe man around to tbe thea
warhia og’la me, 1*11 git mad, agd bed' awoke and said, "I say, Mr. while the ether end Is passed through ter. He said, “ There ia tbe very
■bar'll ba a fcmt, and jsst who'll trt killed Bnifflar - ” But tbe gentleinuu ad the throat latch of the horse’s bridle end place where he is «topping. ” Taking
and who’ll git away aobody'caa’t say. dressed promptly covered tbe speaker held on u pin that rises in a little raoeas ( me across tbe road, he told, "Wait one
Wouldn’t Ilka Io git shot, I reck with hie revolver and remarked huskily: in the side of the stall. By means of a j moment. ” Then he ran up tbe stair«
"If yer say anudder woad er make a simple luechaniqal contrivance the pin bringiug his friend bark wUh bim, and
onf
is pulled down at the first stroke of the ,
"Mo, of coarse aoA"
move yer’ll be lately deceased. See?”
they insisted that I must go np. So we
"1 beg your pardon,” aaid the other, gong when an alarm is sounded, the tie all three went upstairs into a room. I
"Mebbe Dan won’t work ag’iu m e,”
« M t in te mine hoe«, ’’bat it he don’t I whose name was Wheeler. "I don’t in strap is released, and the horse is set remember the room well; half a doaen
aagy work e g ’iuhiae. Ten feet le e parly tend to make an angel out of myself . free. As the driver and tbe reporter chairs and two tables. Tho friend or
goad e««rt in a Mewl face, and I want just yet. I only wanted to know where talked, tbe hors«', in a friendly sort of , dered ale, and while we weTe sitting
h W 1 kia g it it. If Ddto area I ’m iryin I can boy • bicycle lamp like yours It’s way, bent hia head down toward the talking an old man, a peddler, came in
i driver.
» git M, jiMr’II ha a foot aad a lot of the beet I ever saw .’’—Truth.
Suddenly an alaxm was sounded, and the room and, taking some things out
-shaarta, aad l o a a f akaaaly see no call
the
horse wns transformed, aud like of his basket, said, "Gentlemen, I
for yo’ to Mix ia. ”
wise the driver. The horse’s head went would like to sell you a pair of raaors
“It easMa to ow that you ought to
He doubled hie money.
cheap—only two boh and a tanner.”
« * a race without any jeuglo, ’’ 1
Within a fraction of a second he up, and he wue alert tn every fiber. At Tbe friend cried! "I never saw such a
feeling auxlaaa to go along.
' doubled It again. Then he repeated the i the first stroke the piirjnui dropped, and plai'ea« London is for peddlers. Gentle
tbe horse was free. With a single bound
’lea , otehha it dare." he replied as ; operation.
he cleared the stall aixtomade for hia men cannot bold a private conversation
hte Mala, "bat that’s kusn
He doubled it again end put it iu hia place
by tho engine, w it l the driver be bet they are intruded ou by some one to
e’t know the wage of Ike keatry. watch pocket. "Perhapa my wife w ill
sell something."
i my advice and stay to hnm, notflnd that dollar bill,” beeaid.— New side bim. The other tw | Itoracs of the
Tho old pt-driler answered: " I am a
team—this wns a three liorae tcuui—
I If I ama imak alive 1*11 tell yo’ ull j York Journal.
were clattering forward at the «anis poor man trying to make an honest liv
lit thtaavonio.”
moment. At the front of tin' house men . ing. Now, gentlemen. I’ll tell you
■ x u n e tetek alive, but l i e h a d a
H e r C S a te e .
what 1 w ill dm Wo w ill play for tbe
ia
•himMei aad had been
"Wbatl You cannot mean to tell me were sliding down poles like lightning. l-raaor« I'll put up tbe pair of raaois
There
were
a
few
sharp,
quick,
snap
twies, and aa 1 aaaliitod Mr«, you found the professor stupid? Why,
ping sounds, as the men already tl'-^o against your two and six. Here arc the
to bind up hia wounds he ex- he kuows everything ”
card« ” He said: ’’ Here are three cards,
"I know he does, "said tbe sweet snapped the collars together around'y s oua court aud two plain cards. Now,
‘“near waa a feat, Jaat as I said thar young thing, "but I’d ratber talk with horse«' nocks, and over it all the I m
' can any gentleman show mo where the
wuatd he, aud aaat tea ar ’icveu men some cue who knows everybody.”—In ing of tbo gong.
.ionrt card Is?" The two friends argned
In
all
the
newer
firehouses
of
tbe
city
a n m aat was« than I did. Jest aa well dianapolis Journal.
about it and then decided, after playing
the
«tails
o
f
tho
horaoa
aro
placed
as
>«' teaaa’t thar, stranger. Yo* don’t
nearly as poasihle abreast of the engine, a few time« au«l passing sovereigns or ,
Oat of n .
know
wave of the keulry, aud three
yellow bora between them. The peddler
«< fnar «rlttere waa aiiu artcr yo’ to
’.’Madnrn. is your son expecting to so that tho horaea shall have the short««! aet tbe roads out once more. Tlien the
possible
distance
to
go.
In
somb
of
the
blow yer head off!”
carry off any honors at college this
older iMinses, in which there Is lees room, peddler dropped a dirty handkerchief
yearf"
on the floor, and in trying to find it put
Tfcara Wee Me
"No, poor fellow. He injured his the stalls are at the rear. That ia where bis head below the table. One of th«
they
were
in
this
house.
We were aide tracked at Blue Hill Io kueeeap in the first game of tbe season. "
Burpritad a little, tbe reporter had friends instantly found the court card,
wait tor tba express, wbeu u man dreseed — Detroit Fre<i Press.
lost a second or two in getting to tho showed it to me, turned np tbe oorncr
'to «MWbuy’s garb end having two gone
front. When ho got there, be saw the aud laid it back iu its place, after wink
ra rw a * I te w
and a kalfr iu bir arsenal came riding
drirer in his mat bolding tbe lines over . ing at mo. Jnst then tbo peddler lifted
up to toe atetkm on a cayuae All the
“ Our whist club fa going to plsy all
tbo team ready to drive nut and waiting bis head above tbe table and said, "Can
paewugera on the platform aud iu the summer. ”
anr oentleman tell where the comrt
i - 1 — Me— A to— lee mA mA mo« toe« moa Atom eamaaem
uuv had g lank al him ha be dismount
ed, aud It was the general Verdict that miss any neighborhood news "—Chica
The two friends argued it and at last
alarm. Ou first alarm ibey go cut only
I e waa a had suau and most be treated go Record.
to Bros within their own district. Thia appealed to me. One said it was one
tenderly. Me grab »fffuyiag the atten
alarm was for u fire outside the district. card, and tbo other said it waa another.
A t ia r e M m a
tion ba attracted, wbeu another man
I said. "Gentlemen, I am not betting,
Freshman— What makes
think Unhooked, the horses trotted back to but I think I know tbo court card," fnr
aama GdjUg np from the opposite direr
their
stall«
Descending
from
bis
seat,
tton. Ms was also mounted on a Cayuse these eggs «rara stole«?
eertaiuly there tho court card lay, with
Glakmate — You can sec you reelf the driver took np the interrupted coo- tbe corner tnrnori ap. Tbo friend said,
i and a knife and a bad.
venation jnst aa if nothing had hap
|hiJ~*Ti
bmn
poarbed.
—
Princeton
Tiger.
Ba diaiuoantod with
"1 wtll het you a sovereign you cannot
pened.—New York Sun.
of
pick It up. ” I said, “I tell you 1 do not
hlMorif ag »• atlff aa a
Fmbrotdrrw'l ftuape »•!*’ re»
bet.” The other frwod said, "1 don't
the drat cower over with an ■ h o m a s t e r e d »II t h e p o t a t e a f e t U r tette with
“ There's no dandy business about it,” believe the follow has a mag. ” The oth
g rea t fe r lh tv
I of devpcootenipt on his face. 111 I r a n i i n « l u s t i e r u h . e l eh> , b , , « d
he said. "It's Just plain, bard aonaa. er ono raid to me, "You have not got a
I t was plain tv sea that there was had
able ability.
Since the new woman has made herself sovereign, and 1 don’t think you have
Ohe OadeSOtoOde
h a r p aad pleya th< Hulls so distressingly appan.nl 1 bars had to a uoh."
Mood hotteeru them, and
delight fully.
and ntihhvn went btwtied Into the ait
1 fouutl it was getting warm, and, as
A dl».x«-d- i f I t ’» n o t t h e W a g o o r k t o - l e s s a y * have my initials larttei -early
littg to o » to > s clear of the exported
thiM I wear, ao that there would be I a«t u< ar the d«or, I arose and said.
hte frightfully
low , Of a sodden aaah man rested his
• o exeaar for my wife thinking it's "Gout.emeu, I mast he going.” Theo
x.astd on Ww bait of a pistol and looked
1 went down the s«airs, tivading loud
hem. "—tlhi< age Fuat.
« ™ - i . « u v -i
Ä S C T K ’J w
- -
•« »
ly. Then 1 crept up, opened th» dner
had bagna walking
ta O m asa wtetelv
wm
W
B
« saw
ns matt-
An tnoident that happened in a large
cotton fire in tbo loww part of Now
York some years ago had its comic side
aud was the means of tbe firemen dis-
! txiveriug tlio main body of th« fire,
which for some time they had been en-
‘ deavoriig in vain to locate.
The smoke was pouring out of nearly
every part of the building, and although
several entrances had been made it had
been iiuposaibk> to find tbe seat of (be
fire. The chief in charge ordered aouie
windows ou the third ttoor to be
“opened np,” aud a ladder was accord
ingly raiaed and a freuiau ascended.
With the aid of a hook he pried open
the iron shutters, and, lamp in hand,
stepped in—and disappeared, .flis com
panion upon the ladder, wouderiug why I
he had so suddenly vanished from sight,
peered in, and found that be had Stepped
into the elevator shaft that was directly
under this window and had fallen
through to the basement. Hastily de
scending, he alarmed tbe others, aud,
forcing an entrance, they made their
way to the cellar. Here they found their
comrade in a sitting position upon a
bale of cotton, partly stunned aud dated
from the shock of tbe full, hat other- l
wise uninjured, iu his hand he still .
held the wire handle of his lamp—al!
that remained of it—while iu frout of
him, farther iu the buraweur, blazing
merrily, was the fire they had been en
deavoring to find. His fall had led him
directly to it. Ou alterwnrd examining
the hatchway, or shaft, through which
lie had fallen, they found that it had
bars running diagonally across at each
floor, and iu some marvelous way he
hud escaped each one in his downward
flight.—Charles T. Hill in St. Nicholas.
i
Mow l««le«M l?
“If it wasn’t for me, my class in
school wnuldn t have any standing at
nil,” said Hubert.
’ Nonsense!" said his aunt. "Your
mother says you are the fool of i t ”
" la m ,” said Hubert ‘ ‘ How could it
stand if it didn’t have u loot?” —Philar
del phis Times.
LlMle Mary'» L»xUl.
Little Mary was sent to the stez» one
dny to have sonic sirup sent up for the
table.
"Cloas your motiier want refined
sirup?” naked t he merchant.
"I think she does.” answetvd Mary
“ She is a very nice lady."— Youth's
Companion.
-------------------
««nt, O o o .l K e a s o u .
M
m
fcxrcs
*’fea. -
z
And
1
The
Cr
2 » l IW ! T s F Q j H i g j
Sold W ith
J*!
T U B
'W E S T - K
I
FV
*
- » »> a
«.
“ “■* uEiEntitiE nmErican
Bailie Knowall—Why, because he has
more feet than shoe«—Harper’s Found
Table.
None who are engaged in anj- of the m echanical
pursuits can succeed w ithout reading and
studying this standard Magazine of Sciences
and mechanical Arts.
It is illustrated with
all modern cuts o f latest inventions iu all
the brandies o f mechanism, and its fund o f
knowledge is inseparably connected with in
THRONICLE
ventors and mechanics.
Sold with
T hx
W est at clubbing rates.
'nut OBBOflnCJLB rank« with th* »reatrM
n«;wBpto*erB In th* Uoited BLaMa.
THU: Q H H O N JC L B baa n « equal on t h e P a o ille
C oast. I t le a f ie a ll la a b ility , e n te r p r is e a n d new a
T R E C H B O K IC L B ’S T elev ra p h lu R eport* a r e
t b e l e t e s t a n d m o e i r e lia b le . Its L o c a l N e w t t b e
raiteet a a d a rM ee* . a a d IU S d ito r ta le from t b e
e h le e t p e a e In th e e o o n try .
T H R O H JIO N IO L B h a e e l w a r s b e e n , a n d a lw a y s
w ill b e , th e fr ie n d a a d c h a m p io n of th e p e o p le aa
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