*****************^ ******************^ ***ij|UQli ¡^ Little * * * * * * * * * * - * * .* • * ■* - Wife aud five children in a parlor car, FOOLED TH E MANAGER. and at hie saiigestiou the little crowd S « w J . W . K e l l y , " t h « R o l l i n g M i l l M a n ,-* divided and approached the two men to M a d e t h e H i t at Hl« U t e . T h e W a y s o f th » C o a a try . urgtto with them. A theatrical manager tells thia story “ Gentlemeo," replied the first had In the murning Mr.' Thouiae brought oat and saddled bla' Bale, cleaned and man when asked not to do any shouting, 1 regarding the late J. W. Kelly: In his earlier days Kelly was appear- 'Loaded bid shotgun and was about to “ that feller insolted Die, and I moat I mg at a variety boll in Ban Francisco. TtCe away when 1 asked him If be were | r“ “ u a tu n d man j I and allo« wlllin to accommodate, but The proprietor and manager of the place going on a Journey. donf ask me fn spare him. In three was a German, wlio had a great admi­ • Only Jees ever to Sceltevi lie. ” he ininita he’ll bo a dead man.” ration for the "rolling mill m an.” 1 While Kelly was appearing at the thea­ irplM-d. The other man was just as ferocious ''I was thinking of going over there When the passengers hoped he would | ter the German arranged to pnt on the myself, to saa if I had any mail. Haven’t' restrain himself aud preserve the peace, rtage a series of tableaux depicting the heroism of the members of the Bon yea got soother mala around the place?” waved them aside and aaid: ‘‘I ’ve apaaad that critter half a down Franeisoo fire department Kelly was - "1'ra got the mewl all right,” he re­ to stand at one side of the stage ami re­ plied. scratching bis bead and looking times on his mother’s ucconnt, but now cite some original verses describing bis end has come. His grave has bin «round, "bat ya'd better jest wait till i«ch pioture or tableau os it was shown tomorrer. Bain yo’ ar’ a stranger /ere. dug aad his headboard ia ready, and in the stage. The German was wildly Jo' don’t know the ways of the kdptry I ’m goiu to fire six redhol bullets into tnxious that thia tribute to the firemen his carcass!” , and might git jnter trubble. ” should make a biton the opening night. Neither of them could be moved by ' What sort of trouble?” "Oh, Chon,” he said, “ do your pest, argument, and we could see that 6acb "Waal, stranger, let me «orIcr ex- uud you vill make tc bit of your life!” was growing fiercer aud fiercer, when jkteia things to yo’. That ar mewl has On the day of the opening Kelly re­ got a gait on him, and I ’m goin over to Iho baldheaded man trotted in Mid had mained at home, so ns to he in the best ’SuMtaville to ride him in a race ag’in a word with the station agent A mo­ l>ossib]e trim for thp show. Boon after ment later that official appeared, hav­ Don Carter's m ew l.” 8 o'clock be started for the theater. "Then I should certaiuly like to go ing iu jiis hand a «tout club. He walked Just before going into the hall it oc­ over 1 don’t remember that 1 ever saw up the ’platform to where the men stood curred to him that he could have some eying each other with folded arms aud '« race between males. ” fun with the German; so he turned up ' " What I ’m ssyin to yo’, stranger, is heaving breasts, and halting before the his coat collar, mussed his hair and that yo' don't know the ways of the one on his right be said: went reeling into the vnriety hall. "Ike Hooper, you wuut to chop it X«stry ano had best stick rightTtere till There was a sound of crashing glass­ ' uuueiier. In the fust place, nwi'n Dan right off short and git out of this!” ware. The German had dropped a tray Ike hesitated uboot five seconds and full of beer glasses. ain’t any too friendly. He's a hand to blow around, and if lie then .got iato his saddle and galloped "Oh, Chou,”’ ho moaned, waving his «<<» to bltwiu too much tbar’li be a off, aud the agent took a fresh grip on hands in fhe air, “yon haf wooined «11 'font and no tu«wl race. The foal will his club aud said to the other: tetaplozel Vat is tc good of bailing "Jim White, you make me tired, and Irishman to vork for yon?” •Mil b«twean me'u Dsn, but befo' It’s through ell the crowd w ill mix in. If I’ll give you oao minute to fly!” "Thash all right,” mumbled Kelly, It didn’t take Jim over half a minute staggering np to him. yr»' that, yo’d probably git hart Ia to mount bi« cayuse aud bead away, that plain?'' ** "Go vay, ” shouted (he manager. aud us the passengers murmured their "You lief kveered te show." "Yas. ” « astauishuent aud thanks the agent " M Dan don’t git to blowin, mebbe I With that the manager rnshed for the will, ” he caatroued. “ I ain't tpuob of a flung hia elub away and «aid: x stage and arranged that a soubrette "Those crltteis acted in a play for should announoe the tableaux. Then be hand to Maw, hut I can't alius bold myself down, f t I Mow, it w ill he the two or three nights last year, and they went out in front and waited, all in a aatue aa if be Mowed—-a foal and mo’ come down here every day or two to tremble, to see if she could get through or fees sbootiu, and nobody kiu tell bow pose and show off and «cure women and with i t In the meantime Kelly went many wMlhshwr«. Oan’ty o ’ understand children. I’m getting weary of it, and around on the stage, and just us theson- if they don't quit 1*11 chuck tho both of too»?” the stage Kelly fol "1 think I do.”' b 1 ’em into a barrel and ship ’em o u t» ’ j brette walked on ~ tako (;are of M ««**•» Q uad . "Waal, mebbe tbar won't be ant the country I • this. t - The German saw him come on the stage, and with a cry of mortal terror ran for the front door. He knew that Kelly would spoil everything. Ho stood in the street, mopping his brow and moaning in agony, when be began to | hour loud applause inside the theater. He could hardly believe his senses. Every few eeconds there would he a i roar of laughter and handclapping. He timidly went back into the hall, and there was Kelly, sober as a judge and “straight as a string,” making the hit of his life. After that ull the German could do was to sit down at a table to weep and order beer for everybody i around. In telling the story Kelly used to say , Merely to finish the story, "I saw him after that when I really did have a tidy number aboard, but be only laughed aud •aid, ‘No, Chon, you can’t fool m e.’ " —Chicago Reccril. SKETCHES BY M. QUAD bmpeelally true of Hood's rill», lor is> « d i- •lue e n t ruotetaed so great euntive power la to small sdom . They ora a whole modteloo Hood’ s all chest, always ready, al- ■ ■ ■ ways elBeieut. always sot- tsfactory; prevent a ookt or fever, cure all liver Ills, s k i t headache, jaundice, constipation, etc. 29c. The only Fills to taka with Hood’s Sarsaparilla. III gfc w ANTED-TKUSTWORTHY AND travel for responsible, established house in Oregon. Monthly $66.00and expenses. Position steady. Relerence. Enclose sel (-addressed stamped envelope. The Dominion Company, Dept. Y Chicago. MONTE MEI IN LONDON A Q UAINT NARRATIVE OF AN ENCOUN­ TER W IT H CARD SHARPS. W m ▲ w ay M ack l a 1 1 4 5 t h e T h r w i C a r d T r ta k P la y e d —T h e M e th o d o f 8 u a r ta * m ilia r T r ic k o f M ow a W e ll T l e t i a — T h a Fa< T u r u la O U p • C «aam r. Three card monte is not a reoe-t in­ vention of the card player by ai means. Back iu the early fifties it e> dently flourished in the English co tai, as the following letter to the Brook lyn Eagle suggests. The oosnmauioat: comes from William Day, who had « experience with card sharpen in Lc don in 1865. After tltimbering for mi. a loug year the detuils coma with flavor of the old days in their qua. narration: One day in the year 1066 I w standing at the corner of Goeat Kolla;, street and Blackfriars’ rood, Isoodoi I bad not even a single acquaiatanoe it the city aud very little money, and as I was thinking where f could go next so it would cost uothing a plainly dress­ ed man spoke to me. Re Mid; “Can you tell me the way to fit. lam es’ park? I am a stranger in London. In fact, 1 was left some money down in Hitcb- iu, Hertfordshire, and as I intend Io go to Australia I thought I would like to see something of London on ray way there.” I said: "I have nothing to do. I ’ll show yon the way to St. Jantee’ park.” He appeared quite grateful. I said, “ We must go along the new cut, ’’ certainly one of the poorest streets in London, though it appears to bo always full of people. So we went along, hut I noticed when there was n crowd he went ahead and pushed through the crow.<]‘ thought to mytelf. You are not like the country men that stand aside waiting for the crowd to go by. ” When we got to the corner of the Waterloo Bridge road, bo asked me to take n glass of hitter« Bo we entered the gin palace, aud there we met u well dressed yoqng lady. Tho stronger asked her to take a bitter. She said she wculd prefer giu. We took ale. I noticed she lin«l a well filled satchel, and when she opened it to take her handkerohief cast I noticed it waa bulged out with soils of olil newspapers. We then went out aud walked to tbe Westminster Bridge road. I said to him: "Here we are now. Go over this bridge, pass the houses of parliament aud Westminster abbey, tnrn to the right up Parliament street nnd there you aro at the Horse Guards eutrance to the park.” He said; “ I am much obliged to you for your A SLIGHT INTERRUPTION. trouble. Take a glass before y«ro leave." While we were drinking he said: ‘‘I I n e M e B t o f a K e p o r t« r * B V i s i t t o a F i r e MR. T B tW A t « U S AMHTT TO R ID E AW AY. K a g r ln e H ouimv . have a friend here, hut 1 have lost bim A reporter who had sought at a fire | in this great city. He ia stopping oppo­ engine bouse information on a point site some largo theater, bat I cannot en-KWov. blow is '»all. awd Etan w ifi her x concerning which the driver oaald best think of its name. Tell me the names The burglar noiselessly opened tbe ortok togofite*. Artar awhile w e’ll git of the theaters. I aaay xemombor its theaa Is oat tar the race, and Dan door .of the bedroom and glided in. Aft­ inform h im «tood talking with the name.” I wsartionadseveralanrnes, nud ha’ll * o M «0 work thtegs so that his er flashing his bnllaeye lantern around driver by tbe stall of one of tho litirow when I mentioned ’•Victoria” he CTied, ' w ill g it about tan fast to start. tbe room be placed it on tbe dresser and The hone w ar seeueed by a kta strap "Why, that U iA ” I aaid: "We passed >’• pswtjr ofiraigbt ou moot thitfgs, coolly proceeded to collect everything oommctily used iu toe t'tgartn— * One it, hut it is no trouble. I’ll take you kart when it «ama to a inewl race lie’ll valuable. He had been at work perhaps end of the tie strap ta made fast by a there.” Mat his o * n father. If I see that he's, two minutes when tbe occupant of tbe i staple driven into the side of the stall, ; I took tbe man around to tbe thea­ warhia og’la me, 1*11 git mad, agd bed' awoke and said, "I say, Mr. while the ether end Is passed through ter. He said, “ There ia tbe very ■bar'll ba a fcmt, and jsst who'll trt killed Bnifflar - ” But tbe gentleinuu ad­ the throat latch of the horse’s bridle end place where he is «topping. ” Taking and who’ll git away aobody'caa’t say. dressed promptly covered tbe speaker held on u pin that rises in a little raoeas ( me across tbe road, he told, "Wait one Wouldn’t Ilka Io git shot, I reck with hie revolver and remarked huskily: in the side of the stall. By means of a j moment. ” Then he ran up tbe stair« "If yer say anudder woad er make a simple luechaniqal contrivance the pin bringiug his friend bark wUh bim, and onf is pulled down at the first stroke of the , "Mo, of coarse aoA" move yer’ll be lately deceased. See?” they insisted that I must go np. So we "1 beg your pardon,” aaid the other, gong when an alarm is sounded, the tie all three went upstairs into a room. I "Mebbe Dan won’t work ag’iu m e,” « M t in te mine hoe«, ’’bat it he don’t I whose name was Wheeler. "I don’t in­ strap is released, and the horse is set remember the room well; half a doaen aagy work e g ’iuhiae. Ten feet le e parly tend to make an angel out of myself . free. As the driver and tbe reporter chairs and two tables. Tho friend or­ goad e««rt in a Mewl face, and I want just yet. I only wanted to know where talked, tbe hors«', in a friendly sort of , dered ale, and while we weTe sitting h W 1 kia g it it. If Ddto area I ’m iryin I can boy • bicycle lamp like yours It’s way, bent hia head down toward the talking an old man, a peddler, came in i driver. » git M, jiMr’II ha a foot aad a lot of the beet I ever saw .’’—Truth. Suddenly an alaxm was sounded, and the room and, taking some things out -shaarta, aad l o a a f akaaaly see no call the horse wns transformed, aud like­ of his basket, said, "Gentlemen, I for yo’ to Mix ia. ” wise the driver. The horse’s head went would like to sell you a pair of raaors “It easMa to ow that you ought to He doubled hie money. cheap—only two boh and a tanner.” « * a race without any jeuglo, ’’ 1 Within a fraction of a second he up, and he wue alert tn every fiber. At Tbe friend cried! "I never saw such a feeling auxlaaa to go along. ' doubled It again. Then he repeated the i the first stroke the piirjnui dropped, and plai'ea« London is for peddlers. Gentle­ tbe horse was free. With a single bound ’lea , otehha it dare." he replied as ; operation. he cleared the stall aixtomade for hia men cannot bold a private conversation hte Mala, "bat that’s kusn He doubled it again end put it iu hia place by tho engine, w it l the driver be­ bet they are intruded ou by some one to e’t know the wage of Ike keatry. watch pocket. "Perhapa my wife w ill sell something." i my advice and stay to hnm, notflnd that dollar bill,” beeaid.— New side bim. The other tw | Itoracs of the Tho old pt-driler answered: " I am a team—this wns a three liorae tcuui— I If I ama imak alive 1*11 tell yo’ ull j York Journal. were clattering forward at the «anis poor man trying to make an honest liv­ lit thtaavonio.” moment. At the front of tin' house men . ing. Now, gentlemen. I’ll tell you ■ x u n e tetek alive, but l i e h a d a H e r C S a te e . what 1 w ill dm Wo w ill play for tbe ia •himMei aad had been "Wbatl You cannot mean to tell me were sliding down poles like lightning. l-raaor« I'll put up tbe pair of raaois There were a few sharp, quick, snap­ twies, and aa 1 aaaliitod Mr«, you found the professor stupid? Why, ping sounds, as the men already tl'-^o against your two and six. Here arc the to bind up hia wounds he ex- he kuows everything ” card« ” He said: ’’ Here are three cards, "I know he does, "said tbe sweet snapped the collars together around'y s oua court aud two plain cards. Now, ‘“near waa a feat, Jaat as I said thar young thing, "but I’d ratber talk with horse«' nocks, and over it all the I m ' can any gentleman show mo where the wuatd he, aud aaat tea ar ’icveu men some cue who knows everybody.”—In­ ing of tbo gong. .ionrt card Is?" The two friends argned In all the newer firehouses of tbe city a n m aat was« than I did. Jest aa well dianapolis Journal. about it and then decided, after playing the «tails o f tho horaoa aro placed as >«' teaaa’t thar, stranger. Yo* don’t nearly as poasihle abreast of the engine, a few time« au«l passing sovereigns or , Oat of n . know wave of the keulry, aud three yellow bora between them. The peddler «< fnar «rlttere waa aiiu artcr yo’ to ’.’Madnrn. is your son expecting to so that tho horaea shall have the short««! aet tbe roads out once more. Tlien the possible distance to go. In somb of the blow yer head off!” carry off any honors at college this older iMinses, in which there Is lees room, peddler dropped a dirty handkerchief yearf" on the floor, and in trying to find it put Tfcara Wee Me "No, poor fellow. He injured his the stalls are at the rear. That ia where bis head below the table. One of th« they were in this house. We were aide tracked at Blue Hill Io kueeeap in the first game of tbe season. " Burpritad a little, tbe reporter had friends instantly found the court card, wait tor tba express, wbeu u man dreseed — Detroit Fre , b , , « d he said. "It's Just plain, bard aonaa. er ono raid to me, "You have not got a I t was plain tv sea that there was had able ability. Since the new woman has made herself sovereign, and 1 don’t think you have Ohe OadeSOtoOde h a r p aad pleya th< Hulls so distressingly appan.nl 1 bars had to a uoh." Mood hotteeru them, and delight fully. and ntihhvn went btwtied Into the ait 1 fouutl it was getting warm, and, as A dl».x«-d- i f I t ’» n o t t h e W a g o o r k t o - l e s s a y * have my initials larttei -early littg to o » to > s clear of the exported thiM I wear, ao that there would be I a«t u< ar the d«or, I arose and said. hte frightfully low , Of a sodden aaah man rested his • o exeaar for my wife thinking it's "Gout.emeu, I mast he going.” Theo x.astd on Ww bait of a pistol and looked 1 went down the s«airs, tivading loud­ hem. "—tlhi< age Fuat. « ™ - i . « u v -i Ä S C T K ’J w - - •« » ly. Then 1 crept up, opened th» dner had bagna walking ta O m asa wtetelv wm W B « saw ns matt- An tnoident that happened in a large cotton fire in tbo loww part of Now York some years ago had its comic side aud was the means of tbe firemen dis- ! txiveriug tlio main body of th« fire, which for some time they had been en- ‘ deavoriig in vain to locate. The smoke was pouring out of nearly every part of the building, and although several entrances had been made it had been iiuposaibk> to find tbe seat of (be fire. The chief in charge ordered aouie windows ou the third ttoor to be “opened np,” aud a ladder was accord­ ingly raiaed and a freuiau ascended. With the aid of a hook he pried open the iron shutters, and, lamp in hand, stepped in—and disappeared, .flis com­ panion upon the ladder, wouderiug why I he had so suddenly vanished from sight, peered in, and found that be had Stepped into the elevator shaft that was directly under this window and had fallen through to the basement. Hastily de­ scending, he alarmed tbe others, aud, forcing an entrance, they made their way to the cellar. Here they found their comrade in a sitting position upon a bale of cotton, partly stunned aud dated from the shock of tbe full, hat other- l wise uninjured, iu his hand he still . held the wire handle of his lamp—al! that remained of it—while iu frout of him, farther iu the buraweur, blazing merrily, was the fire they had been en deavoring to find. His fall had led him directly to it. Ou alterwnrd examining the hatchway, or shaft, through which lie had fallen, they found that it had bars running diagonally across at each floor, and iu some marvelous way he hud escaped each one in his downward flight.—Charles T. Hill in St. Nicholas. i Mow l««le«M l? “If it wasn’t for me, my class in school wnuldn t have any standing at nil,” said Hubert. ’ Nonsense!" said his aunt. "Your mother says you are the fool of i t ” " la m ,” said Hubert ‘ ‘ How could it stand if it didn’t have u loot?” —Philar del phis Times. LlMle Mary'» L»xUl. Little Mary was sent to the stez» one dny to have sonic sirup sent up for the table. "Cloas your motiier want refined sirup?” naked t he merchant. "I think she does.” answetvd Mary “ She is a very nice lady."— Youth's Companion. ------------------- ««nt, O o o .l K e a s o u . M m fcxrcs *’fea. - z And 1 The Cr 2 » l IW ! T s F Q j H i g j Sold W ith J*! T U B 'W E S T - K I FV * - » »> a «. “ “■* uEiEntitiE nmErican Bailie Knowall—Why, because he has more feet than shoe«—Harper’s Found Table. None who are engaged in anj- of the m echanical pursuits can succeed w ithout reading and studying this standard Magazine of Sciences and mechanical Arts. It is illustrated with all modern cuts o f latest inventions iu all the brandies o f mechanism, and its fund o f knowledge is inseparably connected with in­ THRONICLE ventors and mechanics. Sold with T hx W est at clubbing rates. 'nut OBBOflnCJLB rank« with th* »reatrM n«;wBpto*erB In th* Uoited BLaMa. 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