----
SMITH PAYS
as follows for good, fresh p ro
duce—he never charges vom -
mission:
Live Chickens;.....................
Drear- d < hickens.. 16c to
Live Ducks ....... 16c to
Dressed Geese......................
Dressed Turkeys..................
Dressed Hogs.....................
Dressed Veal up to 130 ibj
Large Veal Less.
15c
17c
18c
15C
25C
IOC
11c
A
I
Item
Oasser.
A PRECOCIOUS DOG.
“Gentlemen.” said the president o!
the puLUc service corporation. In his
address to the stockholders, "It is my
duty and pleasure to Inf rn> you that
our balance sheet for the year now
Closing will show a highly satisfactory
| condition of affairs. We have added
materially to our assets, and our prof
its have been such that we shall he
able to declare a very handsome divi
dend. In fact, gentlemen,” he added,
lowering his vojee, "our prosperity
gives me some uneasiness, 1 cannot
disgu Ise or conceal from you an appre-
hension that J. Pierpont Morgan may
have found it out and may be even now
preparing to open his jaws ar.d engulf
this corporation in his capacious and
insatiable maw!”
A dense silence ensued, and a thrill
of horror ran through the assembly.
Well may we ask, "Who is safe these
days?"—Chicago Tribune.
•
Wondrrful Feuta 11» Performed
Joseph
Jefferson.
There is a story that is told of Jo-
s-gm Jefferson and the boys that had
to do with the training of dogs. It
appears that there was a gentleman in
New Iberia who owned a very Intelli
gent animal, and he was most anxious
f®r Mr. Jt-fft-ison to see an example of
his prowess. Accordingly he brought
him to the island one day and put him
through bls various tricks, which were
remarkably clever.
When the performance was over Mr.
Jefferson expressed his appreelaition
and wonder at what the dog had done,
but added that he had an animal that
wus even more remarkable. A b the
gentleman seemed to be in some doubt
as to the truth of this statement the
dog, a dejected, stupid looking beast,
was produced, and Mr. Jefferson or
dered him to go Into his room and
bring him a shoe.
Obediently the dog trotted into the
house to presently appear witih the
shoe in his mouth. Taking it from
him, -Mr. Jefferson patted him upon
the head and told him to return to his
room and bring him the slipper for his
left foot.
"And, mind you, bring the left one,“
he cautioned as the animal trotted
away.
When he returned in a moment with
the left slipper the gentleman could
hardly express his astonishment, but
Mr. Jefferson waved the matter indif
ferently aside.
"It is nothing,’ he said. “However,
we will now try something a little
more difficult.” Then, turning to the
dog, he spoke to him very slowly and
carefully. “Now go Into the library,"
said he, “look upon the bottom shelf
on the right hand side of the room
and you will see a set of Dickens.
Bring me the second volume. Remem
ber, now, the second volume; not the
first or the third, but the second.”
When the dog returned In a few
moments w-ith the second volume in
his mouth the gentleman retired in the
utmost confusion, declaring that in
comparison with such a prodigy his
own much vaunted animal was little
better than an Imbecile.
And I may add that Mr. Jefferson
enjoyed the joke fully as much as did
the boys, who, according to a prear
ranged plan, had placed each succes
sive article in the prodigy's mouth.
As to the prodigy, his one accomplish-
ment consisted of trotting into the
house and trotting out of it again.—
Nevll G. Henshaw in Bohemian.
Visitor—What have you in arctic lit
erature? Librarian—Cook books and
Pearyodlcals.—Brooklyn Life.
“I want one of the new spotted face
veils,
please." “Yes, madam. Specked,
Addrrit,
■pattered, or splotched T"—Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Wife (reminiscing)—Well, I very
Fighting the Beef Trust’
nearly didn't marry you, John. John
(absent-mindedly)—I know—but who
PORTLAND, OREGON.
Mothen will And Mrs. Winilow*, S<x>thlng told you?—The Sketch.
Byrup th-- b- st remedy to use tur tlieir cuUdreil
“If m'wife's awake. I’ll shay:
during ili» teetiiiug period.
That IlfMl Uniate Agrut,
'M'dear, brought y’ some c'sath'mums
House-hunter Seems to iue this
—chrysthmus—chrasythums’—haug it!
Maori *io ffriig ?((?«.
house isn't very well built, The floor
Wish I’d got roses."—Life.
Women
of
tiie
Maori
tribe
of
N«w
■hakes when we walk.
Borrowell—I have no use for that
Zealand
are
now
appearing
as
features
Agent—Uni—y-e-s; that's the new
fellow Bjones. Wigwag—Yes, Bjones
of
the
show
at
tbe
Hippodrome
in
New
kind of spring fluor for dancing, you
York City and as they are educated is one of those fellows who object to
know.
and
cultivated persons, and have the being used.—Philadelphia Record.
Househunter — And these stairs
right to full suffrage in their native
“What do they mean by an ‘endur
ereak terribly.
land, they chose three delegates to rep- ance test'?” ■'Two chaps bragging
Agent—Y-e-s; we furnish this new
resent them at Mrs. Pankhurst’s lec- about their respective makes of auto
paint burglar alarm staircase with
ture
In Carnegie .hall recently. They mobiles."—Springfield Republican.
out extra char re I^slle’s Weekly.
were Kiri Matao, widow of an old
"Well, Tommy, what part of the
Maori chief; Waapl, a young political chicken will you have?” "Why, paw,
No Chance for no A rgunient,
"If you had any life In you. Henry,' leader and a prohibitionist, and Drana, you know I always take the back when
who is 21. and cast her vote for the there's company."—St Louis Repub
she snapped,
"You'd go out there and fire the Conservatives at the la3t election. Eng lic.
cook!"
lishmen in New Zealand have extend
“I’ve just figured out how the Venus
"But I haven’t, you see. Flo.” he pla- ed to women all the rights they them
cfdly yapped;
selves have, and that Mrs. Pankhurst de Milo came to lose her arms.”
And he buried himself In a book.
and the English suffragettes of all "How?” "She broke them off trying to
—Chicago Tribune
sorts ask for.—Springfield Republican. button her shirtwaist up the back.”—
The Jewish Ledger.
Only One “BROMO QUININE"
That in LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. 1
"The audience is calling you," the
Mo
M
l»rcprexentnt
Ion.
for the signature of E. W. Grove.
Used I the
25c
World over to Cure a Cold in One Day.
Boarder (at summer resort)—Didn’t playwright was informed. "I hear
your booklet say there were no mos them," he answered. “Show me the
Trouble» of the Ancients,
quitoes here?
quickest way to get out of here.”—
Penelope was bewailing the protract
Proprietor—It did. sir, and it told the Birmingham Age-Herald.
exact truth. We had the booklet print
ed absence of Ubsses.
“New-mown hay is a delightful per-
"I might as well be the wife of a ed In February, and I am prepared to
commercial traveler,” she said, "and prove that there wasn’t a blamed fume; we sell lots of lt.” “Haven't
odor?
i
be done with It!"
(slap) mosquito within 500 miles of you something with a gasoline
I want people to think I 1 own a .motor
Scorning to avail herself of an easy here at that time.—Chicago Tribune.
car, not a horse.”—Life.
divorce, she plunged deeper than ever
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAVS
into the pages of the Ladles' Home
Mrs. Newbrlde—Boohoo!
Henry
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case
Journal for consolation.
One that I
i of Itching. Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Piles in threw a biscuit at me.
6 to 14 days or money refunded.
50c.
made myself, too! Mother—The mon
ster!
He might have killed you! —
Catalogue for
Slot Machine for Suicide.
The United Presbyterian.
the Asking
Washington.—“Drop a penny in the
Send for It. slot and get a ticket to the other Hoax—Out in Arizona he Is knowu
world” might be the inscription on a as a bad man. Joax—Is that so? Did
J. J. B U T Z E R
machine that is suggested by Rev. Dr. he ever kill any one? Hoax—Oh, yes.
Donald Guthrie, of Baltimore. Dr. Joax—What make of car does ha
Portland, Oregon
188 Street Front
Guthrie was talking on “Calvinism” at drive?—Philadelphia Record.
Visitor—Can you read the past?
the closing session of the synod of
Some Excellent Rooms
Baltimore
at
the
Metropolitan
Presby
Fortune
Teller—Certainly. That’s my
Still on Sale for
terian Church here. At the close of a business. Visitor—Then I wish you'd
BECAUSE HE LOVES HER.
CLARK’S CRUISE OF THE ‘‘CLEVELAND’’
plea for a wholesome, enthusiastic in tell me what It was my wife told me
18,000 Tons, Brand New
UeaNon Why u Man Marries a Girl
!■
and Supeibly Fitted
I > terest in life, he said: "Life has be to get for her!—Boston Globe.
nail Make« Iler a Slave.
come so meaningless and so useless
“Do you want employment?” asked
A young man not many years ago
I to some that 1 advocate the setting up the sympathetic woman. “I dunno wot
of a suicide machine where one can dat is, ma’am,” replied the husky hobo, began going to see a girl; he kept her
deposit a cent and be killed easily and "but ef it’s ennythlng ter“ eat, youse out on the front porch and hanging on
FROM SAN FRANCISCO FFB. 5, 1910
ONE STEAMER for the Entire Cruise respectably.”
may gimme a few.”—Chicago Dally the front gate late at night, and finally
of nearly four months, costing only $650 and up,
he married her.
including all necessary expenses.
News.
ROUTE: Japan, China, Philippines, Borneo,
The girl's father Is in good circum
Judge—I'll have to fine ye fifty dol
Java. Burma, India, < eylon, Egypt, Italy, etc.
stances, but the young man is poor, so
An unusual chance to visit unusually attractive
lars for exceeding the speed limit.
for the first time in her life she began
Jack Scorcher—Look here, judge, this
to know privation and want, the Mem
young lady and I want to get married.
phis News-Scimitar says.
February 5. 1910. by S. S, “Grosser Kurfuerst.”
Remit the fine and you get the job.—
73 days, including 24 davs Egypt and Palestine.
She cooks for him, cleans, sews,
$400 up, including' hotels, shore excursions, etc.
Brooklyn Life.
mends and slaves for him.
RANK C. CLARK
limes Bldg.
New York
Whale—What are you going to tell
Why has this man put this woman
your wife when you get home? Jonah— in a position where she must experl-
I don’t know; I don’t suppose she ence hardships in addition to his
Tttt tUT KtOKlMl VCR
would believe me if I should tell her tyranny?
that I had been to a fish dinner.—
It is so pleasant to take—stops the
Because he loves her.
Out of town people
can have their plat«
The Bohemian.
cough
so
quickly.
Absolutely
safe
This is the common interpretation
and bridgework fin
ished in one da;
"You don’t know what that’s a pic of love, the sweetest word in the lan
too and contains no opiates.
»* noce*eary.
ture of, Johnny?” said Mrs. Lapsling, guage.
We will give you • goo
22k gold or porcelait
In a tone of reproof. “You ought to
Because he loves her, many a man
crown for
S3.5C
read your ancient history more. That has brought many a woman down to a
All Druggist«, 25 cent«.
Molar Crowns 5.0C
is the temple of Dinah at Emphasis.” hell, which she has loyally striven to
22kBr.d,.T..Ih 3.5C
—Chicago Tribune.
Gold Filling,
1.0C
turn into a heaven. '
Enamel Fillings 1.0C
Cynicus—It is Impossible for a wom
Woman is so constituted that so
Silver Filling*
.5C
an to keep a secret.
Henpeckke—I long as she believes herself loved and
Inlay Filling*
2.50
don't know about that; my wife and I appreciated she can forgive anything
G00J Rubber
Plats*
5.00
were engaged for several weeks before and endure
anything and still be
HWi 1MK3Ly
most lu.-dous
Best Red *Nb*
voercta!riant tho best !
she
said
anything
to
me
about
IL
”
—
ber Plat*.
_____
7.50
happy.
l JF
»pctls. ] erry‘8 Seeds are b st ]
________ _________ __ _
Painless Extr* don > 50
Philadelphia Record.
W bocaus they never fail In yield A
A wife is the only laborer on earth
WORK GUARANTIED FOR IB YEARS
r
or quality.
’ ’ •
g
Pein I ret Fit Faction irw» when rlat.wor bridge work
"Are you In favor of votes for wom who works for her board and clothes
J ers an 1 f’.rmeri every w I i - to
is ordered. Consultation Free. You cannot a*t better
knew Ferry's soeds to bo tlio
painlcM* work done anywhere. All work fully gnnr«
en?” “Yes. Perhaps if we can get and is expected to be grateful for the
anteod. Modern electric equipment. Fest methods.
j •
• ‘>L^fur solo
them to think more about votes they privilege.
everywhere. QJ
. 17$ ¿’3
will think less about clothes. I have
The husband who doesn’t economize
FEMY S 1913 Seed Annua!
- X
four
daughters who are growing up.” on expressions of affection or stint his
Frco
on
request
B uilding _
r> norr'AlM
111BD
ash . Hi h PORTLAND, OREGON
k 0. M. FERRY A
—Chicago Record-Herald.
wife on praise may do as he will with
OrriCK HOU Ba A A. M. te A r. M. Buiday*, • to L
OfTIOIT. MICN
“Speaking of joy rides, did you ever out friction or argument.
So long as he does not sink the lover
have a real one?" “No.” "Never go
out in a buggy along a shady lane, in the household he need fear no rival.
with a plug of a horse and the only He may forget every other rule, but if
The Allawlnir Part.
girl
in the world? Say, you don’t he remembers this all will be well.
Landlady—You say tbe chicken
Every woman is an Idealist, and she
soup isn't good? Why, 1 told the cook know what life it.”—Public Ledger.
will
break her neck trying to live up
A
traveler
stopped
at
a
hotel
in
how to make it. Perhaps she didn't
catch the idea.
Boarder—No;
I Greenland, where tbe nights are six to what she thinks a loving husband
think It was the chicken she didn’t months long, and, as he registered, expects of her.
But even she appreciates a day off
asked a question of the clerk. "What
catch.
time do you have breakfast?”“ From now and then.
Sitting alone at night waiting for a
half-past March to a quarter to May.”
Reporter—Mr. Cummin, have you husband to come home doesn’t thrill a
the manuscript of the after-dinner woman with delight a bit more than it
speech you delivered at that banquet would a man.
last night?
Ketchum A. Cummin
Table Mountain,
(with a gasp)—Did I deliver a speech
At Capetown, in South Africa, where
there, young man? Whose?—Chicago the traveler usually has the first
Tribune.
glimpse of the continent, is Table
“The starvation experiences of those Mountain, a magnificent natural curi
Your doctor will tell you that English suffragettes were trying.” osity which rises behind the city to
Means an unfailing water supply. It
means that you will have the most practi
fresh
air and good £>od are "Yes," answered Miss Cayenne; “it's the height of almost 4,000 feet and
cal Domestic water su-.-ply system now in
hard to be obliged to stop crit has a level top about three square
use. No elevated tank, no frozen pipes in
the real cures for consumption. pretty
winter, no stagnant water in summer, no
icizing the public policies of a great miles In area. Its resemblance to a
water supply troubles of any sort. Tank
But often the cough is very government in order to find fault with huge table Is so marked that the
placed in basement, out of sight and way.
made of pressed steel, will not rust and
hard.
Hence, we suggest that Its cooking.”—Washington Star.
dense clouds which collect at times
will >ast a lifetime.
You will be pleased with the LEADER
you
ask your doctor about
around the summit are referred to as
Husband
—
You
must
marry
again,
system of furnishing Osme tic Water
your taking Ayer’s Cherry dearest, when I am gone, and that will the tablecloth. A pretty little flower
Supr’y
Ask for our catalogue and free
booklet. How I Solved My Water 'apply
Pectoral. It controls the tick be very soon. Wife—No. Edward, no which Is found nowhere else on earth
Problem.*’
one will marry an old woman like me. grows on top, while on the northern
ling, quiets the cough.
You ought to have died ten yean, ago aide of its base Is a similarly rare
Wo publish our formulae
I tree, popularly called the sliver leaf
for that—Meggendorfer Blnetter.
We banish aleohol
from our medicines
“Over here,” said the Arab guide, tree.
FRANK L SMITH MEAT CO.
SEEDS
Hood’s [
Her.
Sarsaparilla
is the World’s Greatest Blood
Purifier and Strength-Giver.
It builds you up. Accept no sub
stitute, but insist on having
Hood’s, and get it today.
CASTOR
IA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Silver, Leu<i. $1 <> id. 8ih«<. 7. c, Gobi. 50c: Zin«
or Copper. SI. M-aliug envelop«-« and full price lift
•»< iu on u licHtion. Conm l H’ d Umpire work BO
iiciUxi.
Caxi>ouale Mfetiouul BauM.
SEND FOR PRICES AND BUY YOUR
GROCERIES WHOLESALE
Portland Wholesale Grocery Co.,
Portland. Ora.
264f Taylor St.
Nature
Tbe
Place.
He—What Is the latest topic of
household Interest, my dear?
She—Oh, the fall housecleaning just
now is on the carpet.—Baltimore
American.
BAKING POWDER
EXTRACTS
V
JUST RIGHT
CLOSSET a DEVERS
(
and I find them perfect. Couldn’t do
without them. I have used tlu-ni for
seine time for indigestion and biliousness
■nd am now completely cured. Recom
mend them to everyone. Once tried, you
will never lie without them iu the
family."—Edward A. Marx, Albany, N.Y.
PORTLAND. ORE. J
EXPERT
MODERN
DENTISTRY
At Prices that Defy Competition
IEEIH WIIHOUr PLATES A SPECIALTV
CUT THIS OUT. mail it with your ail-
dress to the Sterling Remedy Company,
Chicago. III., and rec iv<* a handsome bou -
venir Gold Bon Bon FREE.
IF YOU'VE
NEVER WORN
tcrvtxj
*
/to learn the bodily
comfort it gives in
the wettest weather
PAINLESS EXTRACTION.................................... 500
SILVER FILLINGS ................................ 50c up
GOLD HI.1.INGS
.................................... $1.00 Up
22K GOLD CROW N.............................................. $5.00
GOOD RUBBER PLATE.................................... $5.00
THE BESi RUBBER PLATES.................. $8.00
WHALEBONE PLATBB
..................... $10.00
Out-of-town patients can obtain perfect work
and save money by calling at our office.
NO STUDENTS
NO GAS
NO COCAIN«
All work iruaranteed for ten years
CHICAGO PAINLESS DENTISTS
MADE FOP ——
I
H apd S&f’V’CE
--------- ANO
GUARANTEED
WATERPROOF
32J'V Washington St.. Cor. Sixth
Established 15 year..
Here to stay.
»5^00
P N U
No. 3—’XO
ATALLGOqO STORES
1 CATALOG FREE
([ Children Like
VkA\ ~ —A.T* , ,
Co BOSTON us *
, ’WfiSa 10WI » CAKAOM. CO I'MinO TO^IMTa CM.
k
A flavorinK used the same as lemon or vanilla.
By dissolving granulated sugar in water and
adding M iplcine, a delicious syrup is made and
a syrup better than maple. Mapk ineis sold by
grocers. If n<’t send 35c for 2 ol. bottle and
recipe book. Crescent Mfg. Co., Seattle,
CURE
inless Dentistry
gaer.,
Instant Relief f«w All Lies
In u -ual I quid form - r cboco'nted tab-
ets called Sarsutaba. 100 Do-es fl
that are irritated from dust, heat, sun
or wind, I’Ll' 1 IT'S EYE SALVE. All
druggists or Howard Bros., Buffalo,
Th, l.abel Language.
N. Y.
"There’s a language in hotel labels,
the same as In stamps or flowers,”
No Trouble Otherwise.
laid a courier. "All over Europe the
Professor (of Eng lish literature)— At
hotel porters paste the hotel labels on times you find it difficult. I dare say, to
your trunks in such a way that the comprehend the inxulved style of Mr.
X>rters iu future towns will know James.
Miss de Muir <). no. professor; I
what sort of a tipper you are.
never have any difficulty in under-
“Up at the top of the trunk the la
. ' .
I hoLVS
bel means you are generous. In the is to find out what he is driving at.
middle it means you’re a middling ---------------------------------------------------------- -—------------- --
Bort. Down very low it means you
E
- JUMyer «nJ <
H OWARD
Leadv.Ik*. Col i . n
Hpvciii on price«: Gold,
■re no good."
ROUND THE WORLlJ
B8WS ORIENT CRUISE
...
A man was waiting patiently for ■
street car the other day at a tran»f*r
station, says the Boston Record, when
a woman, hlgfcly excited, rushed up to
him, and cried. "Are you tho man
here?”
"I don't understand.” he said.
"Are you the man here?” «ho r>
petted.
"No, madam.” he said, concealing a
smile. “The man here is that man
over there.”
I
Wise Dental Co.
A LEADER
WATER SYSTEM
IN YOUR HOME
Portland, Ore.
Spokane, Wash.
Boise, Idaho.
■) Martha
Washington
Com fort Shoes
/ Gcntiine comfort—that’s what
means to wear the stylish xfcg
Martha Washington Comfort Shoes. V
■_
They fit like a glove, and insure complete
rest and relief. No buttons or laces—just slip
them on and ofl like a slipper. Elastic at the sides
provides perfect fit over any instep.
You will never
\
Consumption
One of Ayer's Pills st bedtime will cause
an increased flow of bile, and produce a
gentle laxative effect the day following.
Formula on each box. Show it to your
doctor. He will understand ata glance.
Dose, one pill at bedtime.
Made »y the J. C. Ay,r C... L.w.11, Mtgg —-
t'poa Thia Hiat.
“we have another mummy. From the
Priscilla asked John Alden why ha
cooking utensils found near her, she is
supposed to have been a cook. For did not apeak for himself.
“You won't get a chance later,” she
2.000 years she has remained Just
where she was found.” "Bosh!” scoff warned.
Nothing daunted, he forthwith pop
ed the American tourist, “that’s no
cook." “Why notY' “Who ever beard ped.—New York Sun.
of a cook remaining In one place that
It'* easy for a woman to paint a
toUgF— Gklcagc LMljf N»*8
jratr lace—if S1M has oa*
Standard Oil Company
(Incoryoratedt
The Cough of
We urge you to
•onsult your
doctor
LEWIS & STAYER CO.
THE
STEADY
WHITE
____ i-A....' Is a high grade lamp »old at a low price,
are la ujts that cost more but tia re is no better lamp
at any prit e. The Burner, tbe Wick, the t i liunet Holder-
all are vital things in a lamp; these parts of the RAYO
LAMP are perfectly constructed anti there is nothing
known in the art of )amn-mnk:ng that could add to the
value of the RAYO in a light g ving d< vice. Suitable for
any rnoffi m the houae
Every dealer every «here.
If n >t at yours, write for descriptive circular to the
nearest Agency of the
1 know how comfortable a good looking shoe can be until you have worn
r
MARTHA WASHINGTON COMFORT SHOES
Bcwar* of imilaliom. Only the genuine have the name Martha Washington
and Mayef Trade Mark »lamped on the tele. Refuse substitutes.
Je
Your dealer will supply you ; if not, write to us.
FREE —If you will oend u* the name of a denier who doe« a
F-tóÌl
not handle Martha Washington Comfort Shoe«, we will K" * Z
,* .>-< ■ ‘i'
i «end you free, postpaid, a beautiful picture of Martha /"
k Was:
Ik We also make HonorbiltShoes for men,Leadin< Lad y /
8hoes, Yerrn « Cushion bnaes. Special Merit St.
X^^Shoe« and Work Shoe«.
4i.'5'r '//
;
v \ Up
téS&è F- Mayer Boot & Shoe Co.ys# -J J
MILWAUKEE, WIS.
-J