Bandon recorder., June 10, 1909, Image 3

The Best Spring Medicine
It »• •» *MJ to prove that Huu4'» Sarsaparilla is the best spring medi­
etas as it is to »ay it.
• R« nd
“My mamma's yardstick h»t th/«» f»et,
flaid Willie, cute and cunning.
“I've only tiro, but I can beat
My mamma's yardstick running.
—Judge.
Spring AUmtnta are Mo><1 ailments—-tliat is, they arise from an impure
Impoverished, devitalized eondition of the blood; and Hood’s Sarsaparilla
purities, enriches and revitalizes the Wood as no other medicine does.
It is the most effective of all blood medicines.
There is Solid Foundation for this claim, in the more than 40,000 testi­
monials of radical and permanent cures by this medicine, received in two
years, this record being unparalleled in medical history.
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
Cures all spring humors, all eruptions, clears the complexion, creates an
appetite, aids the digestion, relieves that tired feeling, gives vigor and vim.
Begin taking Hood’s Sarsaparilla today. Get it in the usual liquid
form or in chocolated tablets known as Sarsatabs. 100 Doses One Dollar.
Baainrsa
Proposition.
At the NIKht
School.
Ini lint tv«.
Making
Ip
fur
Lost
Time.
Stranger (happening along)—What's
al) that loud wrangling about in there?
Sexton—The ladies, sir, are holding an
adjourned meeting in the silence room.—
Chicago Tribune.
Different
Not Now,
Mrs. Chugwater—Josiah, what is the
Teacher—Who's Wordsworth-^—
Shaggy Haired Pupil (interrupting) — “unwritten law?”
Mr. Chugwater—There isn't any. It’s
A dollar apiece? Any living ex-Presi-
been written up in all the papers, I've
dent's.
told you that before.
Sarcasm«
Cleuniiiff th© Stase.
DCß,
ALCOHOL 3 PER CENT.
AVcgelable Preparai ion f?rAs
similalii^ihcRxxiantlRrt’uti
Itilg Ute Siomadis andlfowdsd
IXÉANTS/CHILDREN
Strata.
The irresistible high handshake chanced
to meet the immovable low handshake.
Whereupon they gav» each other the
cold shake and passed on.
“Your honor,” said the convicted beg­
gar, “can't you change my sentence of
Imprisonment to a fine?”
“Suppose I did,” said the judge,
“where would you get the money to
Almont lucapMcitated.
Why They Don’t.
pay it?”
A colonel in General Lee's division In
Would some oracle might utter.
"Oh,” replied the c. b., “I could beg the late Civil War sometimes indulge«!
Giving me the reason why
a little every day till I bad enough.” in more apple-jack than was good for
Maidens in a constant flutter
him.
Passing
him
one
evening,
leaning
mBt. Vltu.' Dunce ana ' ervoa. lnM-auo. p«rma-
Never fly !
nently cared by Dr. 1 Ince Great Nerve He. against a tree, the general said: “Good
Indianapolis News.
Merer Send for FREE $2 00 trial bottle ami treatise.
Come over to my
Dr. K H. Kline. Ld., 831 Arch St.. Philadelphia. Pa. evening. Colonel.
lam«.
tent for a moment, please.” “ 'S-s-cuse
Uncle Hiram—So you play base ball.
No Exact Equivalent.
me, g g-en’ral, s-s-cuse me,” replied the
“It would be correct to say, then, that Oolonel. "It's 'bout all I can do stay do you. Dickey? Has your ball club got
a name?
you are on the water wagon, wouldn't where I am.’
Fire-Year-Old—Ila» it got a name!
It?” asked the reporter.
“No,” said the distinguisher actor;
“that hardly expresses it. I have merely
quit drinking coffee and taken to more
wtiolesome beverages.
You might say,
perhaps, that I am on the milk wagon.”
9 oo D rops
“That statesman is a man of won­
derful Initiative.”
"Yes.” answered Senator Sorghum;
“there Is no doubt about his initiative.
He starts things that nobody on earth
Auuld finish.”—Washington Stag.
lb
pç
Seed“
jUs Snum *
jBuWSr
kco
!' ¿4 0
t“.ïîo
;5ß>®
I
!
1
I
4iuse Setti*
ñfpermint-
I
¡foni Seed”
Çfcnfifd S/fjor •
noitogreen flan?.
I
>
/
I
Aperfecl Remedy forCtmsf'pr
lion. Soui- Sloniadi.D iarrhou
Worms.Convulsions Jtverish
Hess aiulLOSS OF SLEEP.
taio: a
■02,6.
Gee! You’ve heard of the Rag Alley
Yaunigans. haven't you. uncle? Well, I’m
their reg’lar shortstop. We’re goin' to
whale the everlastin’ stuffin out o’ the
Bumtown Billygoats next Saturday!—
Chicago Tribune.
“We hope," said the spokesman of
the committee, “to enlist your support
In favor of a clean stage."
“You have it,” responded the theat­
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Boothing
'111© QuniitlcMtioB«.
•yrup the b at remedy to uso for their chUdrea rical manager, heartily. “Why, almost
luring the teething period.
“
I
want
somebody to report a wo-
every one of my plays opens with a
man's
congress,
” said the managing
girl dusting everything In sight."—
Amply Q n a I filed.
editor.
Farmer Honk—Hear ye are goln’ to Philadelphia Ledger.
"Some one well versed In parliamen­
•end you son to college, Eben?
beiNon from the I* Hit.
tary language, I presume?”
Farmer Bornkicker—Don’t see any
Robin Hood had just handed back half
“Nope. Some one who understands
reason why I shouldn't—he's too dutn the contents of the slender purse he had such terms as passementerie, aigrette
lazy to work, has too much hair, and taken from the plainly dressed traveler. and the like.”—Kansas City Jeuruai.
“If you were a rich man,” he said, "I'd
can yell go's you can hear him 'most
soak you for the whole of it, but I'm no
■ mile.—The Circle.
Promoles Digestionfhterful
ncss and RestContain s neither
Opiuni.Morphinc nor Minerai.
j
N ot N arcotic ,
The Kind You Bave Always Bought, and which has been
in uso for over 1>O years, has born© the signature of
and has been made under his per­
sonal supervision since its infancy.
Allow no one to deceive you in this.
All Counterfeits, Imitations and “ Just-as-good ” are but
Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of
Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTORI A
Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare­
goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach ami IJowels, giving healthy anil natural sleep.
The Children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend.
GENUINE
CASTORIA
ALWAYS
Bears the Signature cf
_
Facsimile Signature of
NEW YORK.___
I
Cnmrant -eil under the FooçTm
The Kind You Have Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years
Exact Copy of Wrapper,
THE CENTAUR COMPANY. TT MURRAY RTRCCT. NEW YORK CHV.
F
we
this man has made say nine ascensions more a matter of ethics. A person him on except curiosity and daredevil-
says, “Oh, I’ll willingly go.” If we may walk on a railroad where 'there is try, be allowed to risk other lives?
had government regulation, where a third rail. He does it knowing that
I think the license to beginner!
men skilled in aircraft should make the he is taking his life in his hands, but should be made reasonably hard to ob­
examinations as to whether or not the when he persuades other people to go tain. And further, the laws regulat­
hog; I exact only what I think the traffic
applicant was fitted to be a pilot, this along with hint, he risks their lives ing the ballooning should be severe.
SORE EYES, weak, inflamed, red, will bear.”
obvious danger would be dispensed without enough experience to get them Ballooning is a matter of public con­
watery and swollen eyes, use PETT­
For Robin Hood, with all his faults,
IT’S EYE SALVE. All druggists or lived faithfully up to his idea of what a
with.
out of danger should anything happen. cern, and when licenses are first issued
Howard Bros., Buffalo, N.Y.
graduated income tax ought to b«.
The popular idea is that all one has When five people go up in a balloon in I hope that they will not be given so
For Catarrh of the Throat of Two to do to make an ascension is to jump addition to the pilot, the unskilled promiscuously as licenses were given
Any Chiiiige nu Improvement.
Getting It KlKht.
into the balloon car, cut loose and when pilot is risking five lives in addition to at first to auto drivers.
Years’ Standing.
Photographer—Is that the most pleas­ They asked him if his name was Tahft,
Letting an outsider take up a bal­
ing expression you can assuuu?
•‘I was afflicted for two years with one is ready to ascend throw overboard his own.
And merrily the big man laughed.
the
sand
ballast.
As
a
matter
of
fact
Throwing
overboard
ballast
is
a
sci
­
loon
is exactly like running a railroad
Sitter—Yes. sir.
"Why, no,” he said; “my name is Taft, catarrh of the throat. At first it was
that much is not even the alphabet of ence. Ballast is to a balloon what engine. A railroad train is half way
Photographer—Then, for heaven's sake, Which, as you will find by consulting the
very slight, but every cold I took made air riding.
steam is to an engine.
And just as between stations when its engineer
glare ferociously at me!
various dictionaries and paying
it worse.
When I heard that this experimenter I steam once gone can never be recover- dies. The train is stopped. Some­
particular attention to the marks
•'I followed your directions and in a was to make the trip with that number I ed, just so ballast thrown overboard is body asks, “Can anybody here run an
Preliminary.
indicating the correct pronuncia­
“Mrs. McGoozle, your husband Is a sin­
very short time I began to improve. I of passengers and with so small an I lost. One man can get along, make a engine?” A young man steps up and
tion of the words therein,
gularly gifted man. It’s a wonder to me Almost, if not quite, rhymes with ‘raft.’ ’’ took one bottle and am now taking amount of ballast in my old “Ameri­ whole trip without losing more than says: “Yes, I can.”
He takes the
that he isn’t on the lecture platform.”
—Chicago Tribune.
He should five bags of ballast while another engine 'and may draw the train ten
my second. I can safely say that my ca,” I predicted failure.
"I think he contemplates taking to that
Incle Jerry.
throat and head are cleared from ca­ be thankful that the escape was so suc­ spends twenty. The latter spends all miles without an accident and he may
•ome day. In fact, he has been lecturing
“As a general thing,” observed Uncle tarrh at the present time, but I still cessful. There are some requirements his time in traveling up and down, get it safely into the station. But is
in a desultory sort of way, jtist for prac­
Jerry Peebles, “I believe in lettin' wom­ continue to take my usual dose fora and some theories controlling the as­ making saw teeth, while the other sails he a worthy engineer? No. On the
tice. for the last ten years.”
en have whatever they want; but when
cent and descent of balloons just as along in a comparatively straight line, following day this same young man
“Why, where. Mrs. McGoozle?”
I see one of ’em goin' around with a spring tonic, and I find there is noth­ fixed as those that govern temperature j The pilot who is out with the beginner might wreck the train before he got
“At home. I'm the audience.”
spring bat on her head that looke like ing better.”—Mrs. W. Pray, 260 or that of gravitation. A certain sized ' makes careful notes and gives a full out of the switch yards.
e ®«®®
• an old-fashioned beehive that's been Twelfth St., Brooklyn, N. Y.
air ship, with so many cubic feet of report to the members of the Aero
tarred and feathered and then struck by
gas
naturally can carry only so many club. He takes into consideration just
|
Restorative
lightning, I begin to wonder, by George,
how much fluctuating the learner does.
passengers exclusive of its ballast.
Those Loving Friend«.
if it would be safe to trust her with the
He assists the new man, but watches
There
is
a
nicety
in
determining
just
Nan
(exhibiting
her
latest
photograph)
ballot!”—Chicago Tribune.
i
Recipe for Men
—Don't you think a three-quarter» view how many it can carry successfully. him carefully to find out how much grip
? CXSXSXt) •XiXexS) fXSXSXS) •)(•)(•>• ®Xf)@(S) •XfXgKg) •
Tile Similarity.
better than a profile?
To be specific, a balloon with 80,000 he has on the science.
C COFFEE
1
This will prove a welcome bit of information
Mrs. Gunner—Henry, you would per­
The dilettante in search of new sen­
Fan—No, dear; it shows too much of cubic feet of gas should start out with
for all those who are overworked, gloomy, de­
TEA
SPICES
sist
In
calling
that
last
cook
a
vision.
the
faca
sation
is
as
dangerous
as
an
automobil-
35 bags of ballast and five passengers.
spondent. nervous, and have trembling limbs,
BAKING POWDER
heart palpitation, dizziness, cold extremeties, in­ There was nothing pretty about her.
Equipped in that manner the pilot need ist with the speed mania. I hesitate
» EXTRACTS
somnia. fear without cause, timidity *n venturing
More About Him.
Mr.
Gunner
—
Not
at
all.
to
make
a
trip
with
a
beginner
who
fear
no
storm,
and
have
no
worry.
He
and general inability to act naturally and ration­
J
US I RIGHT
Of
gardening
the
city
man
ally as others <|o, because the treatment can be
Mrs. Gunner—Then why did you call
is just as safe as if he were sitting at says the danger is nothing, with the
prepared secretly at home and aken without any­
Oft little understands,
man who says “Oh, I’m not afraid.
her a vision?
his
own
fireside.
When
a
storm
comes,
one’s knowledge.
CLOSSET a DEVERS
Yet never fails to raise a crop
If the reader deciiies to try it, get three ounces
Mr. Gunner—Because visions fade
by throwing overboard some ballast he I’ve got the nerve.” As a matter of
___PORTLAND. ORE_J
of ordinary syrup sarsaparilla compound and one
Of blisters on his bands.
can go above it. When the storm is fact when good sense is used, there is
ounce compound fluid balmwort; mix, and let away. She remained only two days.
-Kansas
City
Times.
■land two hours; then get one ounce compound
over, by letting out a little gas through no more danger than there is in an au­
Maence cardiol and one ounce tincture cadomene
Suspicious Circainstance.
the escape valves he can descend safely tomobile trip. But there is much po­
Compound (not ca.damom); mix all tog.
And when his M. C. franks to him
The grocer had warranted the maple
•hake well and take a teaspoonful after each
to the earth. When a balloon of this tential danger. I am willing to make
A lot of garden seeds,
meal and one when retiring.
sirup to die the real stu—
size, that is 80,000 cubic feet, has the trip with a beginner who says:
He plants them and is sure to raise
"It doesn't taste like any maple sirup
Inalde History.
A splendid crop of weeds.
thrown over all its ballast for one rea­ “Now I’m new at this, and want you
For Farms in the Northwest
I ever bought.” said the customer, who
Indignant Wife What’s the use of my
—Chicago Tribune.
son
or another, except five bags, it to take the rudder. I don’t know it
from people who are on the way
had
just
sampled
it,
“
and
1
strongly
sus
­
Haying anything to you, .John? It goes
should drop to earth at once. To do all.”
from the East and Middle West
pect------ ”
No Limit to 1.1« Ability.
In at one ear and out at the other!
Another thing, balloons and all air
otherwise
is
to
run
a
dangerous
risk.
and can place you in touch with
“
Sir!
”
said
the
indignant
gracer.
“Now here,” said the salesman, “i» a
Provoking Husband -Not always, Ma­
buyer« with money.
A law making this necesary would be crafts will soon be equipped with wire­
“I strongly suspect, in spite of your cigar 1 can recommend.”
ria. When you sav anything worth mind­
less telephone. An air craft in dis­
guaranty, that it's genuine.”
"I know you can, young man,” said a great boon to the art and practice of
ing I »(op it on the way through.
1 et us hear what you have for sale
the customer. “I tried one of them the ballooning. A bag carrying between tress can send a C. Q. D. message to
Telegraph Pole«.
other day on your recommendation. Wbat 35,000 ai d 40,000 cubic feet of gas earth just like a vessel at sea. It
Waited.
Harker—Fine automobile, Coggwood. I want is a brand you can recommend and two persons besides the pilot should be compulsory that equipment
ATLAS LANDCOMPANY
“So you want to earn enough to buy What do you call it?
should drop to earth when the pilot has for communications with the earth or
without lying.”
you a dinner, eh?”
Cogg wood—I ’ea ry.
A balloon in
expended all the ballast save three airships be installed.
“Yes, boss.”
420 lumber exchange Building
A rroixn nee of Wraith,
Harker—-After the arctic explorei,
trouble
would
simply
telephone
its lo­
bags.
If
he
does
not
do
so
he
is
risk
­
“I wish you had come around here eh? And why?
“What's them apples worth?” asked ths ing lives that he should not be allowed cation or general direction and rescue
PORTLAND
OREGON
half an hour ago.”
Coggwood Because It Is always mak­ farmer, stopping in front of a fruit to jeopardize.
balloons or automobiles could be sent
“I did, boas.”
stand.
ing a dash for the pole.
I am in favor of government regula­ to the rescue.
“Well, there was a ton of coal to
"In that pile?” said the proprietor »f
The U. S. army corps with which I
tion.
At the present time licenses can
llevenge.
the stand. "Five cents apiece.”
be carried in then; why didn't you
have
been connected has successfully
be
granted
to
pilots
in
this
country
by
"I'm going to get even with all the
“So? Well, I guess I'll »at about •
knock ?”
the Aero club of America. There are experimented with a DeForest instru­
dime's
worth."
phonograph
fiends
in
our
flat.
”
“I seen de coal.”—Houston Post
Thereupon he took two big red apple» now 24 men holding these licenses. An ment, weighing less than 100 pounds.
“How so?”
However, there is a new sparkless and
“Give my kids snare drums for out of a capacious pocket in his over­ applicant must make 10 successful as­ wirele s telephone of the radio variety
coat and strolled on. placidly munching censions before he is granted the li­
lichtest rxk I
Christmas.”—Detroit Free Press.
The prlcanext
(leanest lightest
one of them.—Chicago Tribun».
cense. These directions have to be which weighs only 10 pounds and which
and most comfortable
any
balloonist
can
safely
carry.
The
made before he is granted the license,
Fnfl 11 iikmi t of n Prophcry,
radio sparkless attachment does away
POMMEL,
Hannibal, the illustrious general, driv­ RIGID LAWS TO GOVERN AERONAUTS. under the direction of other licensed
pilots, or after the applicant has made with the danger of setting the gas bag
SLICKER
the full confidence of the Well-Informed en to despair by his enemies, had taken
and had laid himself down to die. A. Leo Stevens, Instructor of U. S. four or five so that he can manage a on fire. The weight of the telephone
At the same time
of the World and the Commendation of poison
balloon, he must keep data of his trips. is so small that when the balloon lands cheapest In the
“Anyhow,
he said, "my name will
Army Balloon Corps, Advocates
the most eminent physicians it was essen­ live in history.”
This information has to be exact, and out in the country the operator can put
end because it
Government License and
His
foresight
was
unerring.
be filed away. For instance, when the it under his arm and take it with him.
wears longest i
tial that the component parts of Syrup
Examina’ions.
Two thousand years later a town in
applicant drops back to earth, say on a An old fashioned wireless telegraph is
$35O Everywhere
of Figs and Elixir of Senna should be Missouri was named in his honor.—Chi­
Every day I am firmly convinced that man's farm, he has to give the man's impractical for the reason that it make s
Every garment, '
known to and approved by them; there­ cago Tribune.
there should be government regulation name and where he lives, and who a spark that may ignite the gas bag.
guaranteed
Ballooning
has
advanced
so
far
now
waterproof Catalog
on ballooning. I have held this theory hauled him back to town. This is so
fore, the California Fig Syrup Co. pub­
Iler Constitutional Klaht.
• J TC /ER TO BOSTON USA
that at any future time the authorities that it is no longer experimental, but
T-. wf w CAN.-
f. '
•' ■ ' ’
T ,• r *■
for
some
time,
but
the
experience
of
a
Gladys
—
So
you've
so
lit
Herbert
about
lishes a full statement with every package
is a science”. The throwing out of bal­
may
satisfy
themselves
that
the
trip
certain
California
aeronaut
a
few
days
his business, have you?
last is a science. It takes a long time P N U
No. 17-Ot
The perfect purity and uniformity of pro­
Maybelle-—Yes; but I have since used ago in the Sierra Madre mountains has was really made and that it was a suc­
to learn to handle a balloon properly.
duct, which they demand in a laxative the—er—recall on him.—Chicago Trib­ brought the need home to me more cessful one in every way.
France has a very creditable method Why, ip the fitness of things, should a
strongly than ever. The government
remedy of an ethical character, are assured une.
of
licensing its balloon men. The li­ beginner, one who has nothing to urge
regulations should consist of licenses
The Winter of Ilin Diaconten t.
by the Company's original method of man­
for balloon pilots, and laws within censes are not governmental, though.
“What’s the matter? Aren't your which the pilots should have to confine Each pilot, who is going to make an
ufacture known to the Company only.
pictures a success?"
ascent, carries in his pocket a little
themselves.
The figs of California arc used in the
“No.”
While I do not wish to reflect on this book with his number and his photo­
production of Syrup of Figs and Elixir of
“But the papers say they are full aeronaut, I do wish to point out that graph in it. If any one questions his
Senna to promote the pleasant taste, but of warmth.”
he is only a case in point. Some peo­ identity or his ability as a navigator
"That's It; they nre all Arctic ple can never become successful balloon he simply shows the book with his
the medicinal principles are obtained from
men any more than all men can become photo behind the isenglass.
■ceuea."—Houston Post.
plants known to act most beneficially.
I am in favor of government licens­
successes as arti-ts or deep sea divers.
To get its beneficial effects always buy
Concisely Stated.
It’s a part of a man’s makeup. There ing and government regulations, rather
the genuine manufactured by the Cali­
Mrs. Ferguson George, what are ths are some men who can make 20 ascen­ than that of state jurisdiction. In this
sions and still be no better equipped as way the laws would be uniform, and
fornia Fig Syrup Co. only, and for sale seven deadly sins?
Mr. Ferguson—Being a candidate for pilot« than if they were going up for all the air sailers of something near
by all leading druggists.
pho»pi»te
any office.
the second time. A person who is not equal ability. An applicant would not
r------------------------------------------- ------------
skilled in aeronautics, knowing that have to go to Washington to make an
win Do AU
a great many reckless people to have ascent by any means. He may make
THAT am
A flavoring u*cd the time as lerpon or vanilla the experience of seeing the earth slip the trip at any place under the guid­
Hv dissolving granulated sugar in water and
HIGH rax H)
Here is where ance of an accredited pilot.
Adding Mapleine. a delicious syrup is made and out from under them.
row DM WILL
a symp better than maple. Mapleine is sold by the trouble comes.
Ballooning is becoming more and
I will not say that
om
Get it from
C ») AND
grocery If n<>t send
for 2 os. bottle and
A FULL POUND 25c.
more
popular.
It
is
now
more
than
a
it
is
not
right
for
a
man
to
go
up
ia
a
your Gr< •ocerj
recipe book. Crescent Mfg. Co.. Seattle, We
no
imiti
balloon by himself. I think that to, era*. It! possibilities are attracting
PERUNA
WE HAVE INQUIRIES
To Enjoy
f,SH
m
g
MAPLEINE
CRESCENT e «8
BÀKIIMC POWDER