Bandon recorder., February 18, 1909, Image 7

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A Woman Hater.
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(Copyright, IMS, by American Press Asso­
ciation.]
▲ crusty old bachelor told me this.
He ought to be ashamed of himself:
“Dear," said youug Mrs. Herkimer,
“what did you mean by saying to
Tom Fowler that you are a woman
hater? He’ll tell his wife, and it will
Set all over town.”
“Well, sweetheart, it doesn’t matter
to you. so long as I don’t hate you.”
"Yes, it does. Every woman wishes
her husband to be liked by other wom­
en. Of course your saying such a
thing will make you dreadfully un­
popular.”
“It can't be helped now. The deed
la done. Fowler, I know, is a dread­
ful gossip. I suppose I’ll soon get cut
right and left.”
“Indeed you will. And what will
people think of me? They will nat­
urally infer that you have derived
your bad opinion of our sex from me.”
“I shall continue to show them by
my treatment of you that you are the
only one of the lot I love.”
The next evening Mr. and Mrs. Bob
Herkimer went to Mrs. Ellis’ recep­
tion. When they returned and were
preparing for rest Mra. Herkimer, do­
lus her hair, said:
“Bob, I was standing among a group
tonight when you passed with Gertrude
Lee. A woman near me, not knowing
1 was your wife, said:
“There goes that horrid Herkimer.
He avows hlntseif a woman hater. He
should be read out of society.”
“The lady's age?” asked Herkimer
Imperturbably.
“About fifty.“
“Married or single?”
“Single.”
ft-
*
“Name, please.”
“Miss Busan Jones.”
“Mias Jones doesn’t count with me.
She la aggressive, ambitious and, above
all, very smart.”
“That’s the worst of it She will ssy
iota of bright things against you.”
“Well, dear, I’ll have to endure it
Good night. I’m tired and sleepy.”
The Herkimer* were “out” a good
deal, and Mra. Herkimer was much
troubled about an evident change in
her husband's position. Several wom­
en whom he had known gave him the
cut direct, while others spoke to him
when they met him very coolly.
“You see,” said hla wife, “the folly
of your indiscretion.”
“I have not yet been cut by any wo­
man whose opinion I value. Most of
them are old maids, and none of them
la of an especially feminine type
Mrs. Montague Is the mother of a fa ml
ly, but she la more Interested in the
extension of the vote to women than
the interests of her children. Mrs.
Tweed is engaged in fighting her broth­
ers and sisters over her late father’s
will. Mrs Arbuckle la using Mrs.
Tweed to help her into society. I’m
waiting for a woman to cut me who is
a real good, lovely woman."
“You’ll find plenty of them in time."
“Very well, sweetheart; since you
are so distressed about it I’ll see what
I can do to get myself liked again.”
“Will you attempt to placate the wo
men you have mentioned?”
“By no means. I shall attempt to
overbalance their opinion by making
friends with the most attractive.”
Mrs. Herkimer manta lned a profound
alienee for several minutes. Then she
said:
“Perhaps you bad better let the mat
ter drop. They will find a new sub-
ject to talk about soon.”
“You are the one to decide that mat-
ter, aweetheart. It is you who are
sensitive over my disgrace, not L
■Ince you wish it I will take no * a -
ttoa.”
▲ few months later Mra. Herkimer
said in an impressive, measured tone
to her husband at the breakfast tabla,
“Bob, I have concluded to ’regret’ all
invitations for the balance of the year.“
“Why so, sweetheart?’ looking up.
surprised, from his paper.
“For some time past I have noticed
that certain women of our eet are en­
deavoring to attract your attention.”
DIFFERENT STYLES,
Bow
--------- s-------------------------------------------- *
Humor
Meredith and Browning Might
D.ssrib. th. Sam. Incident.
kfr MJNCAN N. SMTh
If Browning and George Meredith
4
were describing the same act they
might both be obscure, but their ob-
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Hcuritles would be eutirely d iff erent,
SupfHise. for Instance, they were de-
When people
scribing even so prosaic and material
T Ì
( I —
r—1 bo<x'
use rue/ don't take the
POM
an act as a man being knocked down­ (LlKt
TNI 1 S kats J
( paicej
trouble to Hatter
stairs by another man to whom be
yyu, you at least
had given the lie. Meredith's descrip­
have the conso­
tion would refer to something which
lation that they
an ordinary observer would not see or
have no immedi­
at least could not describe. It might
ate nor prospec­
be a sudden sense of anarchy In the
tive use for you.
brain of the assaulter or a stupefac­
tion aud stunued serenity lu that of
the object of the assault.
A good guess
He might write: “Wainwood's 'men
is quite as etfl
vary in veracity’ brought the baronet’s
cient aud as suf
arm up. He felt the doors of hla brain
Heient as accu­
burst and Wainwood a swift rushing
rate knowledge
of himself through air, accompanied
as long as it
with a clarity as of the annihilated.”
keeps Its Identl
Meredith, in other words, would
ty hidden.
speak queerly iteeause he was describ­
ing queer mental experiences. But
It makes a woman Just as mail to
Browning might simply be describing have her new hat act up and get un­
the material Incident of the man being becoming as it does her husband to
knocked downstairs, and his descrip­ have It cost real money.
tion would run:
What then? “You lie" and doormat be­
Avoid entrance to a quarrel. Many
low stairs
there be who are crowding to It. and It
Takes bump from back.
This is not subtlety, but merely a la much more entertaining to sit on the
kind of lnsaue swiftness.—Gilbert K. fence aud see discomfited contestants
and participators come dying back
Chesterton.
I
through the door.
»
You never can tell by the dimension
of a woman's sleeve bow big a thing
A Parisian 8howman 8ays They Are she may have up
Oakes Real Estate Co.
m
85 acres on the Coquille river, close to
Bandon. with I 1 mile river front, h
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3,200
10 acres of fine fruit hih ! berry I hih I
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300
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Nkmager g
Edward E. Oakes,
AND
LIQUORE
WINE5,
CIÓAR5
I
BEARDED LADIES.
»
Do You
Bowl?
Philosophy
1
Oregon
Bandon
THE COQUILL RIVER LINE
Quite Numerous.
An Englishwoman who confesses to
a mild mania for attending the street
fairs common in and around Parts
says that she is always Impressed by
the extraordinary number of bearded
ladies among the attractions.
“I was inclined to think that they
were fakes,” she says In the London
Gentlewoman, “but when I discovered
that they were quite genuine my sur­
prise at this wonderful supply of
phenomena grew stronger. And when
a few days ago I saw at the fair In
the Avenue d’Orleans a lady exhibited
with a long Hewing beard I could no
longer withhold my curiosity.
“I applied for Information to a gen­
tleman well known in the showman
world at 1 who acts as a kind of agent
to the people owning shows, supply­
ing them with the necessary goods,
human and otherwise. This gentle­
man appeared surprised at my ques­
tion.
“ 'Bearded ladles!’ he exclaimed. 'I
can Hnd as many us I like. You have
no idea how many women, if they
liked, could rival men as regards
whiskers and mustaches. But they
are not anxious to enter Into that
kind iff competition.’ ”
Blessed are the
pure In heart,
for they can gen­
erally see the tin
lsh of their ene­
mies.
Bandon Foundry
& Machine Shop
Twin Screw, New' and Fast
1st Class Passage,
Up Freight.
A. Garfield
It is almost Im­
possible to en­
dure the disap­
proval of a com­
munity unless a
very high fee Is
attached.
Mill and Steamboat Work Our
SPECIALTIES
SPECIAL
The woman who marries a
reform him may be depended upon to
see to It that he gets his anyhay
MACHINES
BUILT
i
Turned Shafting, Cap and Sei
Screws. Machu.« Bolls. Pipe
and Fittings, Brass Work
Ono Reason.
A. F. Estabrook Co., Agents, Bandon, Oregon
4
.GENERAL REPAIRING
’MSATa< _ bah
Pattern
Shop
in
Connection
>1
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DECORATOR
JOHN L. LITZENBERGER
SHOES
BOOTS - AND
PAINTER &
In Oil and Water Colors
You can't expect to get $2 worth
for $1, but you can get your
money's worth at" ,' j Av
Also House Painting. Estimates given on all kinds of
Job and contract work. All work done in the
latest designs at a very low figure and posi­
tively guaranteed. Give me a trial.
Winged Burglars.
Buchner in bis “Psychic Life of
Animals” speaks of thievish bees
which, in order to save themselves the
trouble of working, attack well
stocked hives In masses, kill the sen
tinels and the Inhabitants, rob the
hives and curry off the provisions
After repeated enterprises of this de­
scription they acquire a taste for rob­
bery and violence. They recruit whole
companies, which get more and more
numerous, and finally they form reg­
ular colonies of brigand bees. But it
Is a still more curious fact that these
brigand bees can be produced arti­
ficially by giving working bees a mix
ture of honey and brandy to drink
The bees soon acquire a taste for this
beverage, which has the same disas­
trous effect upon them as upon men.
They become 111 disposed and Irritable
and lose all desire for work, and final­
ly, when they begin to feel hungry,
they attack and plunder the well sup­
plied hives.
3.00
Our interests are your interests. Fair rates and
good service our motto
ORDER
TO
$7.50
B R E II E R ’ S
Dealer in Hoots and Shoes.
It really seems that the world has
to be amused, whether it is fed and
clothed or net.
Don’t blame your relations-in-law If
they don't like you. They are not re­
sponsible for you.
How old, you say.
Is Ann? Dear me.
And she so gay
And fair to see!
The question la,
How old la Ann?
The glory's hla
Who solve It can.
There may be two reasons for a
thing, both equally true, and it may
How old Is Ann?
be the height of folly to attribute the
Can you conceive?
effect to both. A gentleman to whom
You bet I can—
As old as Eve.
art was a strange thing asked a friend
to whom the ways of its votaries were
Buying Him Off.
more familiar:
“You don’t mean it!”
"He wanted to borrow a quarter
“Why does Conneray stand off and
“Yea, I do, and I don’t like it”
half shut his eyes when be looks at from me.”
“Do you blame me?"
“DM you fall?”
the pictures he is painting? I was in
“Not at all. They are making a dead his studio the other day, and he made
“Yes; I made It a dollar.”
eat for you.”
“Why this generosity?”
me do it too.”
“You must be mistaken. That gos-
"He might pay the quarter back, but
“That’s simply explained,” replied
alplng Fowler gave me a social black the other. “Did you ever try to look by making it a dollar I lose him for­
ay* by spreading my talk about being at them near to, with your eyes wide ever, and it is a cheap lose.”
U woman hater.”
open? Well, don’t. You can’t stand
“Um.”
it.”—Youth’s Companion.
Supplying the Need.
“Well?’
“You say he can work best under
“It didn’t work Just the way I
Didn’t Wait For It.
pressure.”
thought it would. It’s true certain wo­
A couple of Scotch ministers were
"Yes; that is the only way.”
men were very bitter against you. but taking dinner together one summer day
“He ought to work well now.”
they were mostly of our higher grade lit a little inanse la the highlands. It
“Why?’
of women, intellectually considered. was the Sabbath day, the weather was
“An ice wagon dropped on him.”
I’ve been surprised to find that the beautiful, and the bubbling streams
women who covet attention have been were full of trout and the woods full
Wisdom With Ags
•warming about you like so many die of summer birds. One turned to the
“They say man Is going to live to be
gusting bees.”
other aud said:
150 years old.”
“Oho!”
“Mon, don’t ye often feel tempted on
“Then perhaps there Is some hope
“The way Lucy Turnlee palavered these beautiful Sundays to go out fish­
for him that he will know enough not
ever you at the Ashtons’ last night ing?’
to put on cotton whiskers and »lay
was simply ludicrous. Her simpering,
“Na. na,” said the ofher. “I never Santa Claus.
the way she rolled her eyes and, heav­ feel tempted. I Juist gang.”
en knows, what flattery she gave you
Too Vsrdant.
with that disagreeable tongue of hers
Plenty of Him.
“
She
’
s
married.
”
were enough to make one ill. She's
“What sort of man Is Jinks?”
“Where is her husband?’
the sixth woman I've noticed making
“The impression you get of Jink* de­
“Nobody ever sees Elm.”
banelf ridiculous about you, and, I pends on the circumstances under
"Why?”
confess, it annoys me.”
which you meet him. If you're there
“I understand be is a sort of tavlsl
“You surprise me. I hadn’t noticed to collect money you won't like him.
ble green ”
anything. How do you account for it? But If you're there to pay money he
What’s their game?’
seems a lovely character.”
Tentative.
“It all came of that ridiculous speech
“Are you engaged. Miss Nancy?”
of yours about being a woman hater.
Hie Way Out of It.
.“Well, not so that yon could notice
In the flrat place, any woman likes to
“He don't give nothin’ to the church it ir-
get where no other woman can get. bow ?’
“If wbatf
These crasy things wish to be the only
“No. Somebody told him the Bibla
“A more desirable man should pro­
exception among a class you hats, •ays salvation Is 'free.' an' he nay« fur pose.”
•ret, to satisfy their own conceit, and, be ft from him to dispute the Scrip­
second, they think it - gives them tures!"-Atlanta Constitution.
Reason For His Faith.
eeiat.*'
“T>o you believe In signs?'
He burst Into a laugh and took hag
“Of course I do. 1 am a signi paint­
Liberty exists in proportion to whole­
th hla arms.
BSTKLLK MAkSH.
some restraint.-Webster.
er.'
Vieii^a Bakery
Saloon
F ormerly ANCHOR ¡BAR
ALVIN MUNCK,
Her Daughter Anyway.
How old Is Ann?
I fain would know.
Tell If you can.
It pains me so.
Leave orders with Judge Geo. P. Topping
Repairing neatly and prompt­
ly done at lowest liv­
ing prices
The Eagle
L. A, YORK, Proprietor
Prop.
Our Bread is always fresh. Our Pies and Cakes
cannot be excelled. Baked goods of all kinds
Is oow Located in Fine New Quarters
East of the Postoilice
Choiceat
Wines,
Liquors
<
and
JUST LIKE MOTHER USE TO MAKE
Cigars
^Í;-3-3í3.S-9.-3!a«:-3íí
ií.r33i3^i3.‘-3r3^-3ír-3.i3-9.;3;3<3->3-3:'3‘35'
BILLIARD AND POOL TABLES
COURTEOUS TREATMENT
a
Call and See MUNCK
Sell meat that you like to eat
ROOMS and
LODGING
............. -
Fresh and Cured Meats, Lard and Vegetables
!
l aird Lowe Building on Atwater St,
Newly furnished largo light room?
Telephone
Electric Lights
Rented by single night, week of
month
ria
INQUIRE AT OFFICE OF
California
The BANDON STEAM LAUDRY
Oregon f'on«f Nt va iiim I i i p < o.
and
Steamer Alliance
Mtw plying hvtwrvn Portland and Coot Hay only
NOTICE FOB PUBLICATION
Department of the Interior
United States Land Office al
WEEKLY TRIPS
Roseburg, Ore.
GRAY & HOLT CO.. Gen. Agent.
Jan. 5th, 1909
728-710 Merchant- Exchant ■ San I ranclu >>
Notice is hereby given that Abraham Jones,
of, Bandon, Oregon, who, on October 6th 1908,
made Timber
Applxaiion, N°. 01675, for
N. E. I -4 of N. E I 4 Section 19 Township 29 |
S, R.,
13
W., Willamett
Mctidian, has
filed notice of intention to make Final Proof to
establish claim to the land above described be­
fore the Register and Receiver, at Rosebur.
Oregon, on the 20th day oi March 1909.
Claimant names as witnesses:
Edward L. Ohman, of Bandon. Oregon
Amos E. Hadsall, of Bandon, Otegon
A. C. Adams of Bandon, Oregon
J. M. Adams, of Bandon, Oregon.
BENJAMIN L.
H. W. SKINNER. Agent
Mar hlield.
Phone 441
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