Bandon recorder., March 12, 1908, Image 6

Kus «OXT-i itajeLT.
I Wtueujt» h<
*
luuue With <1v
h^.t,
«WW Alice, no cherished *A«1 il«4T.
1 «M
*
her grave in the pale hour of m<M
find moisten the turf with a tear.
*«! when tlw- hear! is o'erburdened with
worn
I Wander a*
d tnuee ail «I mi *.
A a 4 long for the tiiae when my tieart »hall
repose
Where sweet Alice lies under die atone
I rMtn through the woods, where ar> joy­
ous we've strayed,
And recline on the green sunny hill;
fill things are bright in that beautiful
glade,
But my heart is all lonely aud chill.
The hand that so fondly 1 presusl in my
own,
Xad the lipa that were melting with
love,
A m cold in the grave and I am left all
alone
Till I meet with sweet Alice above.
Ah. Well I remember the schoolhouse and
brook
And the master so kind And • > true;
**
4
«
Wild. blooming flowers in the cool,
ehady nook,
AO fragrant with Incense and dew.
Bag 1 weep not for thee, though ho dear
to my heart.
Or the (riends that have left me alona.
The bosom will heave and the teardrop
start,
For sweet Alice lies under the stono.
—Boston (»lobe.
'•¡miœiœMifflig
i Uncle’s Wish
“If," stiltl the young man, “we could
tail» tolerate one another,”
“Instead of hating each other,”
•greed the girl.
“I don’t exactly hate you,” he said
generously; "it Is only the idea of being
forced to associate with you constantly
»bat Ls repugnant to me."
“Well. I hate you, anyhow,” »aid the
girl. Apparently she meant It.
“When I said I didn’t hate you.”
«•»ended the young man suddenly. “I
* m only sparing your feelings.”
“Thank you,” said the girl scorn­
fully.
"When I marry,” she continued, “It
will be a man who Is going to make a
same in the world.”
"You mean.” suggested the young
“WHERB ARE YOU OFF TO?"
man, “one who tells you he Is. I could
say It myself, come to that.”
“You !” she cried.
"I don't see that it’s so absurd,” he
said shortly.
“Naturally, you wouldn’t.”
“The girl I shall marry,” he an­
nounced aggressively, “will be one who
ls capable of thought; a clever girl.”
. "That's what you say ; whereas you’ll
probably marry a girl who thinks you
«•lever.”
"Well?” he demanded.
"Nothing.” she said; “that's all.”
“I suppose,” he suggested, after a
moment of Intense thought, "you think
that’s smart.”
The girl nodded brightly.
“Whercns,” he pointe«! out firmly.
“It s merely rude.”
“The truth,” said the girl, wjth a
far-away look in her eyes, "would nat­
urally appear rude to some people.”
The young man leant back In his
chair with a sneer, nnd lit n cigarette.
"Anybody rould talk like that.” he
remarked at length, “if they didn't
lulnd much what people thought of
them.”
"Well, T don't ndnd what you think
of me.” said the girl honestly.
“J suppose not,” h»1 assented. “When
* girl's I h ' ou thrown over----- ”
“You haven’t thrown me over.” she
cried a trifle breathlessly. “I’ve thrown
you over.”
"ruetise m»,” »aid th» young man
«■«»Idly, “who projMise«! the marriage?”
"Of cour»»,’’ »he wild. "If yon blame
in» for my uncle’» action»”
"I’m not blaming you at nil,” he
•tated ; “rm »imply pointing out facts.”
“Uncl» I» a perfect idiot!” Sb« burst
out.
“Oh. well.” demurred her companion,
"It's only natural he ahotild want to
»■e you happy. You’ve 1 ms >n like a
•alighter to him.”
"That’s whets» he'» an Idiot,” said
the girl blandly, "lie wants me to he
happy and yet marry you.”
"Don’t you find,” Suggested the young
mnn mildly, “that It1» just as easy to
be polite ns rude?"
"No,” was the decided reply.
“I’m glad." was the genial comment,
•you're doing It bd'ause It's easier. I
was thinking perhaps you thought It
tvas clever."
There was a long pause.
“I dare say some girls might HBe
you." said the girl refl«'ctlvely.
“That must be a fearful strain on
your Imagination,'' suggested the youi<
WUQ.
1 thM «lacs» at a dlstaiu-e. Th«» prize»
Be«au* ». ” she went on conclusively,
»<>
tla>e who go to the right places
“even our curate’s married.”
with
the nearest rorreet number of
’That’i* j pity,” said the young man
*
hoi
vludi«AJvely. having seen both the
After party No! 2 has a trial, party
curate ami his wife; “otherwise thwe
No. 1 has its turn.
might yet tie hope for you.”
Folnts noticeable to all should b«^
"If you weren’t my guest!” cried tin.
*n,
ch>>
and no UiqM>sslble number of
girl, rlsin
*
hops
required.
"Pardon me,” he protested, “I’m not
your guest.”
_
«
The Water »larJk In Paper.
"Oh!" she gasp«»«!, gazing round help-
If
ypu will hold up to the light a
The ( au»e of Indian Summer.
lewdy.
sheet of writing puper you will, as a
As the boya and girls all know, we
"I’m here as a prospective part own­
rule, see the brand of the paper, or
er.” explained her «■ousin. “If I mar­ usually have a season of comi»aratlvely the name of the mauqfacturer, iu It.
sh' you we shall share it between us.” mild, hazy weather some time in No­ This is called the water murk, but it
A voldin« Scarlet Fever.
"If you marry me!” cried the girl, vember, to which has been given the might, with equal propriety, be cullet!
Scarlet
fever ls an eruptive disease,
name of Indian summer. Familiar as
controlling herself with an effort.
the wire murk. It ls made by win« attacking persons of any age, but usu­
“I think that was what uncle »aid.” the phenomenon is, however, few people placed in th«» molds, Which have the ef­ ally children, since, owing to Its wide
“You mean, if I marry you,” she know what causes it, chiefly, perhaps, fect of making the puper thinner there prevalence ami exceedingly contagious
because they never tried to timi out
cried stormil.v.
thati"anywhere else. The wires are character, few persons attain adult life
“Comes to the same thing.” be Most of the scientists attribute the fashioned so as to produce the figures
without having been exposed to it. For
mildness of the uir at that time to a
argued.
or letters that the maker desires to this reason It ls classed among the dis­
"You needn't look so upset,” he went change In the condition of the atmos­ show. The cross marks seeu in many
eases t»f childhood.
on. “You'll be all right. Horace is phere, which routines in the lower kinds of paper are likewise made by
It is the moet serious of all the or­
strata the heat radiated from the
bound to suit you.”
wires.
dinary children's d!seas«»s, for, in ad­
“What’s he like?” she inquired, curi­ earth’s surface. This explanation ls
dition to the direct mortality, wh’ch
not wholly satisfactory to a layman,
osity overcoming her ange
.
*
GOST OF LIVING IN VENICE.
varies in different epidemic» between
"O—h, all right. Bit soft, you know. but It seems to be the best that sci­
two
and thirty (»er cent of those at-
Doesn't smoke—or—fact ls, be doesn't entists can do for us. The hazy con­ Luiuries Are Cheaper and Necessi­
tacked, It is prone to leave behind an
dition of the air at that time is more
do anything much.”
ties Dearer Thau in I'nited Mateu.
acute or chronic dimMU»e of the kid­
"And you think he'll suit'me?” she easily explained It is due to the de­
Th«» general impression ls that life
cay or the slow chemical combustion of In the United States costs more than neys, or an inflammation of the ears
said slowly.
•
nt
*
deafness.
leaves, grasses and other vegetable mat­ elsewhere». Speaking generally, you which may cans«» pcrninn«
The young mnn nodded.
It Is exceedingly contagious at all
ter under the rombtne«i action of frost could suy that rent iu the city for
Th«“ girl jumped to her feet.
“You’re a horrid, m«»an cad!" she and the sun. As to the name, Indian good apartments costs less than iu stages, from the very beginning until
summer — several explanations have Europe. Service also «•osts less, while the last bit of skin has i>«»el«»d off. This
cried.
“Seems to me,” said the young mnn been given of that, the most plausible light and fuel cost much more. The contagion Is carrie«! In the dlroiwirges
aggrlevedly, “I’m only wasting ipy time being that the early settlers called it so cost of food in Venice and In other from th«» nose and throat, and In the
when I try to be nice to you.”
because they believed that the smoky parts of Italy as compartsl with the ‘bits of skin thrown off In the final
“If you have been trying to be nice,” appearance at that time was caused by cost of food with us may be summed up stirges of d«‘s«]uamatlon. or "peeling;”
she »aid emphatically, “you are.”
forest and prairie tires kindlt»d by the as follows: What with us are luxuries and it is very long-lived, persisting
sometimes for months in handkerchiefs,
With a vindictive glance, she made Indians. Some people think that the are cheap«.
*
in Italy; what with ps
for the door.
name came from the fact that the In­ are necessities are dearer. Filldts of bedding, clothing, and even the toys of
“Where are you off to?” he de­ dians took advantage of that period beef, the best cuts of roasts, sweet­ the sufferer.
A scarlet fever patient should be
manded.
to lay In their winter supply of game. breads, game, etc., are all cheaper; the
treated In a room without carpets, win­
"I’m going to tell uncle that I hate,
poorer cuts of meat are dearer. The
dow hangings, er upholstery—Indeed,
loathe, nnd despise you,” she said, de­
best cliops, for Instance, are 15 cents
the room should be bare of all furni­
liberately.
a pound and the cheapest stew meat of
ture, even books, except what Is abso­
“Tell him you won’t marry me?»
mutton 12 or 13 cents. Nor do these
lutely necessary. No one, except the
"I shall let him—er—decide that.”
figures tell the whole story, for the
nurses In charge and the doctor, should
she said, ns she slammed the dejor be­
meat ls trimmed very much closer, to
ever be permitted to enter the room,
hind her.
the advantage of the buyer of the liner
which should be In the upper ’story, and
“So,” said the uncle after dinner that
cuts.
■
s far away as «in-uiiistiinces will per­
evening, “nothing will induce you to
*
The prices of fish vary more than
mit from the living-rooms of the rest
marry?”
with us and are much more fluctuat­
of the family.
“That’s about It.” said his nephew.
ing than meat. The poorer Venetians,
The r«M>m should tie always thivrough-
“I’d sooner beg my bread from door
of course, are able to buy fish at a
ly ventilated—through the windows, the
to door.” cried the girl.
price much below that which the for­
"An unsatisfactory means of getting
eigner must pay. As far as our experi­ door being kept closed. Once a day
n livelihood,” commented her uncle.
ence went only the very best poultry Is the floor, walls and furniture should
"Horace will be down to-morrow,"
be wipcsl with a damp cloth wrung out
procurable In Venice; the tough and
he continued, "so there will be no need
In an antisceptic solution. No utensils
venerable rooster never appears In the
to confine yourself to a bread diet for
should lie carried from the room. The
market and the fowls are all dry pick­
A few days. I may say, candidly, that
discharges, after having been mixed
ed and never kept on Ice. This poultry
I'm very pleas«»«! at the decision you've
with n powerful antiseptic and allow-
«•osts 3 or 4 cents less a pound than
come to. Horace will be a much more
e«l to stand an hour, should be trans­
[xiultry of the corresponding grade at
suitable match for vou. Millicent. You
ferred to another vessel outside the
home. But th«
*re
are no cheap meats,
may regard my suggestion as to you—
sick-room and immediately emptied In­
such
as
corned
beef
or
spare
ribs
or
er—coining to some arrangement with
to the sewer or cesspool.
Sewing all day for her dollies .
pigs’ heads—dear to the poor house-
John as withdrawn. Even were you
Washing ami ironing, too;
Food brought to the sick-room should
keeper
’
of
New
Y
’
ork
or
New
England.
to alter your mind I should refuse my
From morning 'ill night so busy
be
transferred at the door to special
The consequence Is that the poor Vene­
Is our dear little Miss Prue.
consent.”
dishes used only by the patient an«l
tian
rarely
eats
meat
at
all.
"Mllly Is of age.” said the voting mnn
Neither does he buy refine«! salt; the nurses, and all waste food should he
She is never idle a minute,
suddenly. "You couldn't stop her If
Save when she's asleep, yqu know;
tax of the government is so high that thrown into a vessel containing a dls-
she wanted to.”
And then she is only resting,
he contents himself with rock salt. infect.int. or, better, burned, If there
“Quite so. I meant that my will
And taking time to grow.
Flour Is dearer; so Is rornme.il. roffe«» is a stove 1» the room.
would be altered in favor of Hora«»e
All Hoik'd linen should bo soaked for
and tea, while sugar costs 16 cents a
nnd th«> Home for Imbeciles. This de­
*
Bird
in Foul Weather.
several
hours or boiled before being
pound. The fruit supply of Italy is
cision naturally removes any reason
There is an old saying in England superb,, but the making of preserves, taken away, nnd should not be mixed
for a match between you two.’’
with the family wash.
that
either by the housekeepers or factories.
“Just so..” said the young man. “I
Nurses leaving the room for neces­
“A single magpie In spring
Is
rare
on
account
of
the
absurdly
high
re«» what vou mean.”
sary
air and exercise should change
Foul weather will bring.”
price of sugar. Butter is 30 cents a
The girl stole a glance at him.
Like many other familiar sayings, pound. On the other hand, fruit anil the outer garments outside the door,
"Yes.” she agreed, “that would re
this is founded on a close Observation vegetables are cheap. There are In the and should avoid meeting or talking
move any—reason.”
of the habits of the birds. Their in­ market a great variety of dried peas, with any one outside the sick-room.—
One afternoon, about a week !nt«»r.
Youth's Companion.
the old mnn interestedly watclie«! n re­ stinct tells them when a storm is com­ beans and ientils, which are nutritious
ing,
and
one
stays
on
the
pest,
to
pro
­
nnd
which,
you
may
be
sure,
the
Vene-
|
triever sidle up to a bon«» which lay
SAFE HOME FOR BIRDS.
unregarded by the side of a dozing tect the eggs, or the young, If they have tian knows how to use.
been
hatched,
while
the
other
goes
oft
In
spite
of
the
greater
cost
of
s«.
Irish terrier.
Reservation. In (Jnlf nt Mexico Main­
His eye wandered across the lawn to iu search of food. In good weather many foods In Venice yon enn set as
tained hy Aodnhon Societies.
both
birds
go
on
the
search.
Sea
gulls
good a table there as you would at
the boathouse. Just then the young
To
make of the unknown inland re­
couple came from the landing stage fly to the land during a storm, not be­ h6me for a smaller sum. and that yon gion of the Gulf of Mexico one great
cause
they
are
afraid
of
it,
but
’
be
­
are able to do so Is because of the
across to the house.
reserve for th«» birds of the nation Is
Most unenibarrnssedly they walked cause the fishes, on which they live, economical hand-to-mouth way of mar­ the project which, it is announced, will
principally,
leave
the
surface
of
the
keting. the eronoinlcal habits of your
hand in hand. They were in a world
water while the storm lasts, and go Italian cook and also that th«» average be Immediately undertaken by the Na­
where they were th«“ only inhabitants.
tional Association of Auditbon Socle-
A sudden growl again drew bls at­ below. The gulls must have something rook In the north of fitaly Is a far bet­ th's, says th«» New York Post. Keports
tention to the Irish terrier, now wide to eat, however, so they fly to the ter cook than the average cook at of a dangerous and «iifticult exploration
awake and gnawing Ids bon«» with rel­ land and feed on the worms mid larvae home.
of the remote sen Isles of the coa«t of
As to the other Items In our budget.
ish. while the detected thief sfunk that the rain drives out of t?ie ground.
Txniislana from the Sabine river to
Petrels,
on
the
contrary,
fly
out
over
Marla Jmmacrolata Is well paid in
hurriedly away.
Pass
a L'Outre have been rereived
“H’in!” said the old man, with a cu­ the sea during a storm, because they Venice with $5 a month. You can get from II. H. Kopman, the ornithologist,
fe«sl on the insects that are to be found i man cook for $10 and an inside man
rious smile.—The Sketch.
in abundance about the spray of the for $0. Venetian families frequently who was dispatched by the association
several months ago In quest of com­
waves.
pay their gondoliers only 80 cents a
••Copy Bendin«” Howell«.
plete Information ort this practically'
day
wit!i«»ut
furnishing
any
meals.
—
The London Athneum says of ths '
<»nme of Number«.
unknown territory of the I’nited States
The Pilgrim.
following Howells paragraph that It Is
’.That number lieromes even by sub­
As n result It lias hren decided to add
the best sentemn? perhaps In any re­ tracting one? S—»even.
all of th«» InsulaY trnct. If possible.’ to
The B»«li«hir Mnld
.
*
Key..
cent English book. Describing a rer-.
By subtracting two? El even.
"po I enjoy the freedom of a lat«'h- the reservation of twenty-seven similar
thin ancient «»ditice. Mr. Howells writes
What number by subtracting one be­ key!” exclaimed the bachelor maid bit­ Islands now maintained by the Audu­
and the Atheneuin quotes :
!. longs to us? F—our.
terly. “L«x>k nt thnt bunch”—holding bon workers east of the Mississippi's
“What, in the heart of all this blos­
What number by adding ope becomes aloft a ring full oi keys. "Fifteen, and mouth, as imdlstiirlMsl havens for the
soming. was the great cathedral itself heavy? Eight. W—eight.
1 have to citrr/ all of them all the hosts of birds looking for breeding
when «p cam«» In sight of It but a
What number is finished by adding time.” This on«
*
is the key to the stu­ places.
vast efflorescence of the age of fnith, one? One. I>—one.
Applications for th«» right to retain
dio building, this to my own studio,
mystically beautiful iu fornt anil gray
What number becomes frequent by this to my club,’this tooniy hamper at for this purpose such of these Islands
as some pale exhalation from the mold adding two? Ten. Of—ten.
the.club, this to my desk, this to the as are government propert.v will be
of th«» ever cloistered, the deeply re- .
*
hy ttie Audubon association .to
What number by subtracting one he­ secret drawer of the desk, this to a mad«
forested past.”
,
ron.«»« a stronghold? Fort—y.
trunk, this to anotlwr, this to my let­ the Federal authorities In the near fu­
Very tine, all must admit. But
What number by the addition of one ter box, this to my sewing machine— ture and every effort will be exerted to
wouldn’t that paragraph have been stands alone? One. L—one.
oh, yes, the woman who comes to clean secure similar rights on Islands held
uieat nnd drink to the man who ns> «I
What number by subtracting two Is my studio would do her annunl sewing by private Interests. On the formation
to mark lip Mr. Howells' newspaper gone? T—went—y.
ih«»re If I didn’t this to my I mix In the of their roast reservation »ast of the
copy back at Bucyrus. Ohio, If How­
What number becomes fourth
*
safety «k-posit, this to the piano—to Mississippi prompt assistance has al­
ells the reporter had written that for pounds by adding two? One. 8t—<ffie. keep the woman from using it, of ways bren given the Audubon workers
th«1 Bucyrus Bind«
*
he would ha-v«»
What number reversed becomes clear «■ours«»—this positively I forgot what by the government In the acquisition of
found It In the papar next day about profit? Ten. Net.
it Is for, but I know I need it often. Island territory, but they have found
like tills:
What number by adding three b» I’m simply worn out lugging around a It a heavy financial burden to acquire
“The cathedral, with flowers all comes foolish? Nine. Asl nine.
wrist bag big enough to hold them nil. similar rights from private holders.
around It, looks tine. It Is 4« hi years
* Island stretch both east and
What number remains the same after I assure you, my dear, thnt If you ever With th
west
of
the delta of the Mississippi ac
olil anil needs paint.” Galveston News. subtracting one? Two. T(w)o, \
hear I have committed matrlmoay you
quire«!, this country will afford Its
may
tell
all
my
friends
I
needed
a
man
A llreHm.
A Game of Hep»«.
to carry my keys for me."—New York birds the most extensive and useful
Wishing to learn what his nephew
breeding reserve In the world.
The company is divided into two par­ S ub .
would «ay. I'ncle Charles asked little ties and as many prizes may be of­
The Kopman explorations, ns report­
A Chri.tenf«« In Sl«ht.
Fred: "What would you do if you stood fered as desired.
ed to William Dutcher, president of
A Mobile lawyer was surprised whet. the association, will prove a valuable
at the root of a tre«» with your foot ono One party stays in the room, or any
the head of a live rattlesnake, a tiger given place on the lawn, nn«l the other Ills negro gardener called Ht the ofliee Addition to geographical, ns well ns
ornithological records. Many islntids
was crouching on a branch above ready party is out of sight and sound. Then accompanied by a large wheelbarrow.
"Marse Rob’nson,” he said, "I wants not named on the official charts have
to Spring and you saw a wild Indian party No. 1, decided upon one or sev­
running at you with uplifted toma­ eral places to which the others are to to know ef you’d mind lendin’ me some been discovered, and several rolonlesof
hop, an«l decided also lt^ lww many of yo’ cyclop«»diars an’ dictionaries an’ birds wore found whose existence In
hawk?"
those particular regions had been pre­
“I should wake right up.” was the hops the desired pin«
*»«
are to lx» any other big books, sah.’
“Upon my soul!” exclaimed the as- viously only conjectured. In all, some
tinexjM’cted reply.—Circle.
reached. These decisions are rot down
on paper to prevent future misunder­ tonlshe«l lawyer. “What on earth are 22.7(10 pelicans, terns, black simmers,
It Is the natural economy of woman
herons an«l gulls were found In breed­
yon np to?"
standing. Then party No. 2 is calk'd.
that causes her to -cut off 10 cents’
"Very linjio’tnnt o'caslon, Marse ing rendition. Although on Islam!» of
Tho«» on this side may look abont.
worth of sl«»eve so that she may wear
n.
*
Very impo’tant oe«^isfon, th«» presenf Audubon reserve the birds
choose points and bop townrd them tn B»b'<i
fir- worth of glove.
as many or as
hops as they think <l«»e«l Sheba an’ me wants to hunt up a have breome no tame thnt t'wy pay
It fw fcetter to have a poor opinion may be desired. It adds to the fun to imino foh de baby."— S uccor Mag-«- practically no attei®|on to man. In a
great many of the remote reglo
»
*
juat
*
•
hav» th» nearer places taks^or» hops a
than to b
<i
*
noue at all.
I ■tslti'd they exhibit«!«! algns of t*wr
' ItliK'h »bowed unmistakably that th«/
ver» frei|ue:itly molested even In the»»
Innccesalble breeding grounds.
.Most curious of nil (he »bservaOiis
made by the Audubon exf>e>tltlou were
the “mudlumps" of the passes of the
MlsDlHBlppi outlet. There weird Island«»
rise, sink and reappeai eirowhere In au
unuecountable mauner, ai.d are used by
the timid bird flo-ks very extensively
for breeding «»Oionies. They often cover
an acre aud rise six or eight fret above
lilgh-tide level lu their shifting prxx
esses. The action of gas and oil domes
and the effis-ts of s«st I men tat Ion are
variously assigned by scientists as the
•auses of these phenomena.
The exploration of this region h ul-
moHt the final step lu a general survey
of the Atlantic coast line of the entire
country, which was starteii at the tipper
boundary line of Maine some years agv.
At great expense tlie National Associa­
tion of Audubon Societies has now ok
talned full and complete Infonnatlon of
all the haunts and habits of the birds
who frequent the east roast rountxj
One more survey will be made, as roou
/s available funds warrant It, down tv
the lower extremity of tile Texas coast.
Eventually, the Audubon workers lu
tend to continue there valuable and
productive observations along the en
tire line of the Pacific roast ns thor­
oughly as they have covered th«» Atlan­
tic seaboard.
BOB FITZSIMMONS, JR , GENIUS
How
Hr
Ma«lr Five Dollar. Double
lt«elf tn One Week.
“Bob" Fitzsimmons lately hit on a
plan to teach his sons the rudiments
of business training. He hart worked
over the idea until at last it seemed
to him he imd perfected a truly wonder­
ful scheme. Here Is how It works«!
out, says the New York World:
Fitz was going to New York for a
week. Just before leaving his Dun­
ellen farm he call«»<l the two boys to
him, and, to their delight, handed eath
of them a brand new $5 gold piece.
“No," he explained, cutting short
their protestations of thanks. “It lsb’t
for you to attend, but to make money
with. I want you la«ls to get some
business sense. So while I'm gone each
of you must think of laying out yo»r
money s«> as to get more. You can
buy something and sell It at a liigbsr
price or make any Investment you
choose. I’ll bring something nice from
New York to the boy who has mude
most when I get back.”
A week later Fitz returned. Hum
monlng the two boys, he in<]ulre<l a«
to the outcome of their investments.
Beginning with the elder, he ask«»d :
“Well, son, how much «lid you mab.
out of your $5? A week isn't a very
long time, but—’’
"I made $5 more,” proudly boasted
Bobby, Jr. “I have $10 now.”
“Fine!” shouted the delighted Fits,
aglow with pride at his offspring's
financial genius. "And ho«« alsiut yo»,
sonny?” ht‘ added, turning to the
younger toy, who stood aloof In ruefal
silence.
"Didn't make anything.” ronfessed
the latter; "lost the whole five.”
“Lost it?" gasjted Fitz. “How lu the
world—**
“Matchln’ Bobby," grumbled tile luck­
less loser.
Already Dateti.
In certain London railway station«
the proprietors of th«» lunch counters
have a custom of «biting egg». That
is. they mark on the shell of a I mi led
egg the «late on which It was laid
The evident purjs»s«» Is to reassur«
doubting customers; the [tossible result
is less comforting.
A party arrived at the station shortly
before midnight, and following tlx
habit of all American travelers, maths
nt once for the lunch counter. They
demanded eggs, and aRked that they
might have some of that very day's
laying.
"S«>rry, sir,” salt! the clerk. ”T»-
day's beggs Is nil gone, but--” glancing
at the ckx'k, which pointed to «piarter
tiefore twelve -"if you’A not mind the
date. HI could give you aouie of t»>
morrow’s.”
Hiirnlnic the < un<ll
.
*
“So Parker shot himself, did he?'
mused one of Marshall Fleid're whole­
sale salesmen.
“Yes,” answered the
silk buyer, sadly. "What on earth did
he do It for?” queried the salesman.
"Oh, T don't know; he was hitting a
pretty fast pace,” answered the other
"Burning the candle at both ends, eh?”
remark«»«! the sah
sman.
*
“Yes, ,1 gu«“«s
that’s what you'd call it,” admitted the
buyer. For h few moments both men
were silent, then the salesman looked
up. "Funny, Isn't it, that when a fel
low burns bis candle at both ends hre
never thinks of blowing ont tim
candle; It’s always his brains.”
EmbnrrfiiH n<.
The little tots of the infant depart­
ment In a Sunday school are workiug-
a new «rheme to raise money for «.
new pluiio. They have learrx-d near
iy everyone's birthday, anil coll«
*ct
a
rent for «‘nch year they are old. One
lady who was averse to telling her’
age even for a goo«! cause gave one
little girl a dollar, saying: “Keep It
all."
The little collector looked the
giver over rerefuliy an«l asked: "Are
you really 100 years old?"
You often see a atoopshouldered,
man wearing shoulder brace», but th^
never seem to acisimpllsh atty more
than ordinary suspender
.
*
If you hand a man a lemon, tw> a
Samaritan instead of t kaocker, by
handing blm ragar anil ice Water with.
o