Bandon recorder., February 15, 1906, Image 2

♦
e»
0
• •
O
BANDON RECORDER.
[ Gtme Iff Verse
4)
What's In a Kiss?
What’s In u kiss?
In kisses lightly given, naught but thia.
A momentary thrill, when Ups meet
lips.
Sweet as the nectar that the wild bee
alps
From fragrant chalices, but soon forgot­
ten-this.
Just thia, and nothing more, la in a klsa.
What's In a kiss?
Ah. when for love the kiss Is given, this:
Truth, purity, abiding trust, the seal
Of loyalty to love, come woe, come weal,
Unspoken promise of a soul's allegiance—
this,
Ail this, and more—ah. more! la In a kiss.
—Marian Fhelps.
The Highway.
All day long on the highway
The king's fleet couriers ride
You may hear the tread of their
horses sped
Over the countryside.
They ride for life and they ride for
death.
And they override who tarryeth.
With show of color and flush of pride
They stir the dust on the highway.
I-et them ride on the highway wide;
Love walks In little paths aside.
All day iotuf on the highway
Is the tramp of an army's feet.
You may see them go In a marshaleff
row.
With the tale of their arms complete;
They march for war and they march
for peace.
For the lust of gold and fame's In­
crease .
For victories sadder than defeat
They raise the dust on the highway.
All the armies of earth defied.
Love dwells In little paths aside.
All day long on the highway
Rushes an eager band
With straining eyes for a worthless
prize
That slips from the grasp like sand.
And men leave blood where their feet
have stood
And bow them down unto brass and
wood­
idols fashioned by their own hand—
Blind In the dust of the highway.
Power and gold and fame denied,
Love laughs glad In the paths aside.
—Txtulse Driscoll In Lippincott's.
A Journey.
Oh, loud Is the laughter and gleeful the
song.
And dancing and lilting the stepping
along.
And the hailing of friends soundeth glad
In the throng,
When we are anew to the road.
And sweet are the wee baby Ups to our
own,
And rare are the blossoms of life fully
blown.
And love—how it deepens In every loved
tone,
When wo are midway of the road.
And rest--oh. the peace of the nearness
of rest
When the hurly and burly of life and Its
seat
Are over and when the sun glows in the
west
And we reach the end of the road!
Oh, well to have lived In this fleshly
abode,
To have laughed and have loved and have
borne well the load,
To have drifted along with the stream as
It flowed,
To the rest at the end of the road!
—Houston Post.
In this wild world the fondest and the best
Are the most tried, most troubled and dis­
tressed.
—Crabbe.
The Lost Child.
It was far to go tor the little fellow,
And 1 think it was dark out there
Away from the sunshine warm and mel-
i
low
That sweetened his earthly air.
It was far to go. It was dark, I know.
And It broke my heart that It should be
BO.
The distance between a joy and joy
Or between a star and a star
Some measure like this we may employ
Nor measure at last how far.
And they were not fleet, they were little
feet
That stumbled beside me In the street.
Oh. little fellow, dear little fellow,
Once where the strange paths crossed
In magical woods of sunlit yellow
You. tagging behind, were lost—
Just a step aside, but I knew that wide
And terrifled look the day you died!
When It Is day I can dissemble
And cover from sight my care.
But when It Is dark In tears I tremble —
"What If he be lost out there?"
In my troubled sleep I cower. I weep;
I am little and lost, and the dark Is deep.
When the ghost moon steals down the
mountain hollow
To glide through my window bars
I wake and prey to ba dead, to follow
His stumbles between the stars
-Fanny Kemble Johnson In Harper’s
.Magazine
The White Haired.
Call her not old. although the flight of
years
lias measured near allotted term of life!
Call her not old since neither doubts nor
fears
Have quenched her hope throughout the
long, long strife.
The secret of perpetun! youth Is here
Who finds delight tn deeds of kindness
wrought:
No age can dim the luster of her crown
Whose days with loving ministry are
fraught.
Peace to her, then, a calm, unruffled
peace,
Until her pilgrimage at last Is o'er.
Until the Father's summons calls her
home
To greet the dear companions gone be-
fore.
—Outlook.
Odette.
Juat a Uttle bit of girl,
Ten years old or so.
Full of life and full of love.
Features all aglow.
Happy as a frisky
That scampers through the trees,
Sweet and pure as flowers
Whree gather honeybees.
Makes me think of fields and mills
And woods where robin sings—
Wonder If she ever knows
Half the joy she brings.
Happy, joyous, free from care.
Ever may you be.
Uttle Odette, ten years old —
You’ve brought joy to me.
—David Wltherlngton.
Ksennd Up.
Von Bltimer Whlle I waa watcblng
the tlcker some stock I bought went up
20 points In an bour. Dimpleton So
you made blg money. Von Blunter
—No. I came out about even. My wife
waa at her dressmaker's at the sumo
■ sm » -Life.
A I* *>r your bill of fare; show me
ftmr bill of company — Swift
1 was in u store the otto<T «lay w hen
a young lady dre«H«i in deep niourii-
ing came in timidly and iu a half­
frighten«! way ask«i to
the pro­
prietor or manager. It was fully
twenty minutes before anyone «»uid
her, and during that time she
seemed miserable, unhappy and whol­
ly out of iier element. The manager
was none Ua> gracious in his manner
when he asked her wliat she wanted.
“I would like employment,” she said,
with a faltering voice. “Have you
ever worked in a dry-g<sxls store?”
“No,” she answered, “I have never
tiad to work before.” “Wliat can you
do?” was the next question. “Noth­
ing, hut I can learn,” said the young
lady bravely. “1 am sorry, but we are
not taking ou any inexperienced
hands. Wliat we n«ai are girls who
thoroughly understand the work.
You might come round later on,” lie
said, turning away indifferently and
going to another part of filestore. “1
might starve in that time,” said the
girl, bitterly. “It is the same story
everywhere I go. Up to ia few weeks
ago I never thought the time would
come when 1 would have to earn my
own living. Then my father died sud­
denly and we found he had lieen un­
fortunate. but lie hail kept everything
to himself and we did not know he
was ruin«! financially until lie was
laid away. My mother lias been a
contlruled invalid for years and tlie
blow coming imm«liatelv after site
was called U|H>n to give up father lias
nearly killed tier. Notone of us chil­
dren are prepared to do one ithing. I
was given every advantage in music,
and didn't avail myself of the oppor­
tunity, lienee my musical education
counts for nothing. It issimply worth­
less to me. I graduated from one of
tlie leading seminaries, but you know
how the majority of girls who feel that
their future is assured fritter away
their time. Nine times outof ten they
do til is, and 1 happened to be one of
the foolish ones. 1 gradual«!, but my
education counts for nothing. 1 might
learn to lie a stenographer and book­
keeper, but our funds are so low that
that is an impossibility. I have been
trying for a week to get something to
do, but every day I have tlie same re­
port to make on going liome.
I once read a little poem that ended,
‘Failure had marked him for its own.’
Now that is just what I am beginning
to believe in regard to myself. I am
not wortli a cent to look out for my­
self, ami ‘failure lias marked mcjfor its
own.' Friends say, ‘don’t get discour­
aged; the tide will turn.’ I can only
think, though, how long I have been
drifting witii the tide of adversity,
and I must say I fail to see the harbor
of peace and safety, even in the dis­
tance. The tide ebbs and flows, but I
am be aimed. I move neither back­
ward or forward. Yet 1 have got to
put on a brave face and go home to­
night with a smile and a look of hope
on my face that I do not feel. But it
is just as well to play the hypocrite
sometimes—particularly when it tints
the dark clouds hovering round those
you love with a brighter color. Isn’t
it strange that when we are boys and
girls and our parents are striving to
bring us up right, we never, or rarely
—for their are some exceptions—see lit
to profit by our opportunities? None
of us have any guarantee that the
wheel of fortune may not stop at a dis­
astrous place for us. What I have
spent for theater tickets and theater
parties alone would seem like a little
Ismanza to me now. Strange, too, the
effect money has on some people. The
very |>eop!e who accepted and enjoy«l
these little theatrical entertainments
with me in the days of our prosperity
uow fail to see me as I pass. Do they
think I have lost any of my refinement
and attractiveness, or my ability to
appreciate my friends, or what is it ?
Yet in the same breath I can answer
that question myself—it is snobbery,
pure and simple ; people whose |>edi-
gree wont bear looking into foi fear
common-place will be expos«! to view,
I have not lived my life yet. 1 am
young and hopeful, and I am sure the
tide will turn and prosperity come to
us once more, then 1 will Know my
friends, know the tried and true.
Meantime, however, 1 must lie hsiking
for work.” YVitli a look of confidence
in lier face she did not feel, she thread­
ed her way through the crowd to
mingle with the passing throng, many
of them, probably, bent on the same
errand, tinding something to do; em­
ployment of any description, and
doubtless many of the anxious as illy
111ted to liattle with the world as this
|sior girl who had just poured forth
her tale of woe.
Every girl and every ls»y should
learn some business thoroughly, so that
when trouble and disaster knocks at
their door they will lie able to find
something to do. We exi>«’t boys to
learn to take care of themselves, and
they have that oi>j«»t in view almost
from their very cradle, but girls, par­
ticularly it they belong to well-to-do
families, have an idea they will al­
ways lie taken care of and that there
is no «’casion for their learning to do
anything. They receive a little bit of
insight into this and that, but it is
nothing that will lie of auy value to
them in adversity, and the rest of their
time is frittered away in calls, teas,
theater parti«», etc. Time, no doubt,
often drag» heavily on their hands,
which eouhl I* so profitably employ«!
I in improving themselves. If they are
not ineliited to I* studious and show
i»p aliility for tl>a liigltai education, let
*
■
*
them learn somelliiiig Ilia! is practical
and will eland them iu the hour of
need, just as soon as they haye mas­
tered or finished the course in the
Grammar School. It is money throwu
away to try to make a musician out of
a child who has no ear for music. You
can s)>end a fortune in their musical
education ami drive a child almost
crazy drilling music into her that
must necessarily be mechanical and
lacking in that harmony ami sympa­
thy that makes it a delight to hear
her. Neither can you make an artist
or a writer of a child who fails to find
the |s>etry in nature or to revel in the
glorious coloring in a sunset, or see the
ligiits and shadows in the forest and
catch the l>ewitchiiig gems that nature
holds for them at every turn. You
can’t make a sculptor who brings out
an imprisoned angel from a block of
stone out of a man who sees l»eauty in
a forest only in the number of feet the
timber will cut and w hose inclination
always tends to the l»est bargain he
can drive in all of his business pur­
suits. Kvery one has his or her call­
ing, and we owe it to ourselves and
others to iiml what we are adapted for
early in life and perfect ourselves in
our chosen work.
NEW SHORT STORIES i : i : ni : i olscrimlxals HUMOR OF THE HOUR CHOICE
Clever Bit of Side Flay.
A story of lsadore Rush's ready wit
was related the other evening at the
home of oue of her former friends,
where several of them had been recall­
ing and recouutlug the mauy attributes
of the clever actress whose death bj’
drowning took place not so very long
ago. says the New York Clipper. Both
•he and Roland Reed, with whom she
starred for several seasons, often in­
dulged in clever bits of side play dur­
ing their scenes. Sometimes the sudi-
ence was aware of this, but ofteuer
not.
On one occasion where the stage busl-
ness was for Heed to pin her hat upou
her Lend lie noticed that It was not
the one she had previously worn In the
-•■■’lie. Il wus of the regulation sailor
BRIEF REVIEW.
Why People Catch Disease.
Did you ever notice the effect of a
rotten apple m a bin of the king of
all the fruits? Some of those in con­
tact with the unsound article quick­
ly yield to the “unsanitary condi­
tions,” their tissues break down and
they soou become as rotten as their de­
cayed neighbor.
Right alongside,
however, and in just as close touch as
the one that “takes” the disease may
be seen another apple fairly imliedded
in rot, yet as sound as six bits. Why
this difference? Why is one soon over­
come by the disease on being “ex­
posed,” while the other, though bur­
ied in rot, remains unaffected ?
The explanation is simple. One is
in perfect health and easily resists
disease, while the other is unsound to
begin with, though in seeming health.
It is just so witii people—the healthy,
vigorous, clean individual can be ex­
posed to all sorts of diseases aud un­
sanitary influences without danger of
contagion. On the other hand, those
who, by improper living, by intem­
perance in any form, by non-oliserv-
ance of natural laws, have weakened
their physical constitution and sapped
their vitality, are in constant danger
from exposure to any unfavorable or
menacing surroundings. Like the un­
sound apple, as soon as contact with
disease occurs, there is an immediate
and unconditional surrender of what
little vitality is retain«!, and collapse
follows. When there is (terfect equil­
ibrium of forces in the system all as­
saults are readily resisted. The citi-
del of perfect health is a stronghold
against which the attacks of disease
are ineffectual ami impotent.
Are you a sound or a rotten apple?
If the latter, you'd better strive to
change your tissues and remove the
soil disease, ami thus place yourself in
the sound class. Eat sparingly, breathe
deeply, think broadly, act conscien­
tiously and fear nothing—then disease
and death will knock at vour door in
vain.— Soundview.
Cleaning House Made Easy.
A parliamentary paper issued re­
cently gives an account of the wireless
telegraph industry in Great Britain
for the first three months of the cur-
rentyear, and showsan interesting con­
dition of affairs. As is well realized,
says the New York Electrical Review,
the principal use—iu fact, the almost
exclusive use—of wireless telegraphy
made by the public is for transmitting
messages between the ships and the
shore; but few, perhaps, realize how
one-sided this transmission is. The re­
port shows that there were but 111
messages submitted by the public for
transmission to ships at sea during the
|s*ri(xl mention«!, while there were
1656 messages from ships at sea. More­
over, of tile former lot of messages
twenty-one failed of delivery, leaving
only ninety messages transmitted to
sea, a little less than 5.5 per cent of the
numiier transmitted in the opposite di­
rection. The British Postottice collec­
ted alsiut 9275 for outgoing messages,
and received al>out 9325 for its share of
the incoming messages. The Marconi
Company received for Hie messages
sent out by its land station about 9237.
it is estimated that at the same propor­
tion Uie total income of the Marconi
Company for messages sent in both
ways for the entire year would not lie
more than 9H00. The second part of the
report deals with the developments now
going on in Great Britain. Seventy-
three applications have l>een made and
forty-eight |>ermits have lieen given for
the erection of wireless telegraph sta­
tions. Most of theseare for ex peri men­
tal purposes. Ten only are for com­
mercial use. The stations are pretty
well scattered over the British Isles,
and Ulereare no less than twenty-four
companies or individuals conducting
wireless telegraphic work. The greater
|>art of this will is* comparatively on a
small scale, though two or three sta­
tions will 1« powerful. Four will at­
tempt transatlantic communication.
REBD SCBUTINIZEU THE NAME ON THE HAT.
shape, with a broad band on which
was printed the name of a ship. De
elding to guy the actress a trifle at this
time he delayed the pinning process a
moment and said:
"Do you wish me to pin tbrough any
particular letter of the band?”
"No, I have no choice,” replied Miss
Hush, now fully aware that some side
lines were to be Interpolated and won­
dering wliat Reed would say next to
make her "go up in her lines."
"Well," said Reed, comically scruti­
nizing the name on the hat, "the most
prominent thing I see Is u J.”
"Ah,” quickly exclaimed Miss Rush,
intent on revenge, which she, Immedi­
ately on the delivery of her next line,
recelv«!, and at which the com«llan
laughed with Ills audience. "Ah. a Jay!
Indeed I did not realize that my eye
was a mirror."
The Meir Waltrenn.
William W. Russell when appointed
minister to Venezuela was being e ui
gratulated on his good luck.
“Thank you,” said Mr. Russell. "I
appreciate your good wishes, anil I will
try to do well lu my uew place.
"In new places," he went on. "we all.
with bard work, may do well. Now
uud then, before unexpected and un
prec«lented crises, we may err. but
there Is no ne«l for us to err greatly
to err, for Instance, as did the new
waitress of ¡y friend of mine.
"This waitress was willlug, but lnex-
perienced. The first day all went well.
The second day, having developed a
good deal of faith lu her, my friend
gave a dinner party.
"She was. It seems, a little short of
forks, After each course the waitress
should have taken the soiled forks and
wash«l and dried them In the pantry.
“But Instead the waitress as she re­
moved the plates after the fish course
said to tile assembled guests iu n loud,
authoritative voice:
"‘All k«»p yer forks.”’—New York
Tribune.
Fatherly Advice.
Robert ITtzsIiqiiions takes bls pa
rental duties most seriously. In the
heyday of bis fame he used to delight
In instilling in his little son worthy
lessons of chivalry und consideration.
“Always remember," he would say,
“that you are the »on of tlie cham­
pion of the world. You must not let
big boys bully Uttle ones nor be mean
to girls, anil you must never tight Just
because you can lick another boy.”
The youngster took these Instructions
to heart. There was no prohibition
against boasting that Ills father was
the biggest man living, and the small
chap derived great prestige from it. It
was after his encounter with Jeffries
that Fitzsimmons heard his offspring
loudly proclaim the prowess and great­
ness of his sire. "My father Is cham­
pion of the world,” he declared to an
appreciative group of small boys. “He
can lick any- man living.” Fitzsimmons
straightway took hfs boy into the
house. "My son.” he said, “don't you
think you lire getting too old to brag?”
A Sheriff's Afterthonffht.
The late Ralph T. Holt of Keene.
N. H., who served many terms as sher­
iff of the county, had a habit of using
tlie words “by the way” before ad­
dressing a person or commencing a
conversation.
One morning In the sixties in opening
a session of the court the sheriff arose
from his seat and In his usual dlgnlfl«!
manner pns'eeded according to custom
by repeating the following: "Hear. ye.
Henr, ye. All ye who have anything to
do with the court of common pleas
please come forward and you shall lx»
heard according to law.”
At this point he sat down and re-
mained seat«! for nearly a mlnute,
then, suddenly springing to his feet
and looking fixedly at the Judge, be ex
claimed, "Ry the way, God save the
The c.Mtl production of the I'nited state.”—Boston Herald.
States is now about one million tons
The Hero’s Reworfl.
)>er day, and the railroads consume
Miss Cutter 1 hate to repeat gossip.
about to |>er cent of it.
Mr. Dubber, but Just before you left
Os last evening I beard Miss Clipper
No man ever reached a joy by juni|>> •ray that she was dying to get rid of
ing over a duty.
Dubber- Ha! Then I saved her
I'll go at once and claim her
Nick Eliopolia, the fourtecn-year-old hand—Chicago Newa.
sot) of James Elioliolis of 1239 B hmm I-
Dsaib.
wav, Oakland, Iffoke into his father's
"Doctor, don't you think that raw
caali drawer, extract«! 920 ami then
disappeared. The boy has dr<ip|>«| oysters are healthy?"
from sight and 1 l^r |s>lice bale Iwn
"Yes. I never knew one to com­
asktsl to l<H’.'»te him.
I plain.” Baltimore Jewish Comment.
A Gowd Buklneaa.
Mi^CLLLANY
An I unsn«-«! t ulv<-r»lt>.
SWINDLERS WHO GAVE AWAY BIG
A a r®«F who spends his summers at
What Will probably is* lire greatest
the seashore tails the following story: university in the I ui-«l Sial* >. luuiigli
FORTUNES IN CHARITY.
Two or three charitable Institutes Iu
Italy owe their foundation to a tumour
swindler named Roselli, whose whole
aim In life seems to have been to beuo
tit p »or children who. like himself, were
cripples. tlrigluallj’ possessed of a
small fortune, he practically beggared
himself with this most worthy object
But there, of course, be should have
stopped, lustead of doing so, however,
he embarked on a series of gigantic
frrrtds, by which lie twanie possess«!
of many tens of thousands of iiuunds.
which be devoted to the cause of crip­
ple
The disinterestedness of the mo
live for Ills crimes Is establish«! by the
fact that he himself lived most frugal
ly In quite humble circumstances while
lie was dispensing thousands of pounds
¡,'1 • liarity, every i>enii.v of his 111 gotten
K ins going in this wuy. Hundreds of
■ i; ;>!■» and other suffering children
learn - I to bless his name, and It Is es
timated that he gave away betw«»n
tso.ioo ami iDo.nOO to relieve the suf
feriugs aud brighten the lives of those
"whom God had not made straight.”
During his somewhat brief eureei
as a man of wealth. Itedpath, the mil
way clerk, who swludhsl his employ­
ers of nearly a quarter of a million
pounds by means of forged stock cer­
tificates, dispensed a very consider
aide sum of money In charity. Lead
Ing a double life anil, out of office
hour«, posing as a successful financier,
he was «instantly applied to by his
acquaintances to assist charities In
which they were Interested, and he
help«! others as generously as he had
helped himself. To beggars he rarely
gave less than a sovereign, and time
upon time he went "slumming” In or­
der to help cases of distress.
But it cannot, of course, be asserted
that his gigantic frauds were operated
by hlni with the object of being char­
itable. He was undoubtedly generous
mid the total amount of tnoney he gave
away In charity would have kept him
in luxury all his life. Palmer, the
during burglar, It would seem, em­
barked on his wonderfully successful
career of crime solely from pervert«!
philanthropic motives. He lived humbly
aud gave away all he stole. Itedpath
lived in such lordly style that one won­
ders that be should have managed to
escape detection for so long as ten
years.
Palmer was without doubt the most
successful burglar England has ever
known, not onlj’ because bis hauls
were generally rich, but because dur­
ing a whole decade of systematic
crime he never once fell Into the hands
of the police. It is estimated that he
"acquired" more than £100,000 in the
course of bls career, and almost every
penny of this was given away In char­
ity. Norwich, where he lived, owes
him a debt of gratitude It Is not likely
quickly to forget, for his benefactions
In that town alone ran into tens of
thousands of pounds. No local case of
distress ever came under bls notice
without receiving help from him. The
old mid crippled particularly evoked
Ills charity, aud it is said that he spent
upward of £5(1,000 111 establishing mi
Infirmary.
In no small measure was it due te
bls charitable propensities that Hint,
the famous bank clerk who robbed
the Bunk of Belgium of nearly a mil­
lion of money, drifted on his career of
crime. It was his ambition to be a
great philanthropist, but as a bank
clerk he had not the means, and, hop­
ing to get rich quickly, be went In for
rash speculations. Losing, he robbed
Ills employers to obtain the money
with which to pny Ills account and to
make another attempt. He found It
comparatively easy to get hold of large
sums of money In this way, and he
went on stealing not only to pay his
losses, but also to obtain funds with
which to be charitable while he was
waiting for a great stroke of luck to
make him rich and thus repay his bor­
rowings.
Luck, however, was against him,
and one day he awoke to the fact that
he liad In all robbed the bank of near­
ly' £1.000.000, which he could never
hope to repay. Dlscoverj' being In­
evitable, lie fled, only, however, to be
caught and sentenced to fifteen years'
Imprisonment.
Mllreau, who was said to have been
connected with some of the best faml­
Iles In France and to have possessed
considerable means until ruined by
the Panama canal disaster, was one of
the best friends the beggars of Taris
over had, and to obtain funds for help­
ing them he Iwcame a systematic thief.
He used to frequent the fashionable
streets during the day ami pick pock­
ets. and by night, dressed in ragged
clothes, he dispensed the spoils to the
first beggars he met. For years he
continued the practice without tielng
susp«’ted, : od It was by pure chance
that he ev> ntunlly did fall Into the
hands of th. police. When bls lodging»
were searched sufficiently empty
purses were found to fill a large pack­
ing case, and It was made clear that be
had stolen hundreds of watches and
scarfpins, while lie had been pinching
and contriving to live a respectable
man on a few fhincs a week saved
from the ruin of his fortune.—I.<*don
Tit Bits.
I nappenaed.
An Ignorant, countryman nboeuw tue
sea for the drat time was much Im
pressed with the effect of the blue wa­
ter and asked s fisherman if he «>uld
tell him tin- owner, as be would like to
buy a gallon to take home to Ids wife.
The fisherman replied proudly:
“Us, me man! We own It!”
“Iaiud’s aakea!” exclaimed the rus
tic. "Could you sell me a gallon for 50
cent» ?”
"Sure,” said the fisherman. Aud he
disappeared. returning In a few mo­
ments with a Jar of water, for which
be recelv«l the country man's {k> cents.
Tile latter depart«! with his pur­
chase. Returning later In the day, all
er the tide had gone out, be gazed In
silent wonder at the water, which bad
receded far from the beach.
"I.umme!" lie exclaimed. "Don't they
do a trade'" Harper's Weekly.
< srryluK th« Ululi.
McHluff Yes, of course, the altlg iloi
la an ambidextrous animal.
Newltt You menu "amphibious."
"Ambidextrous” means dextrous with
either rigid or left baud.
McBluff—That's Just what I mean
He's Just as dextrous to bite off your
right as your left hand. -Catholic
standard.
Family Pride.
Young Mr. Johnson had proposed to
the beautiful Miss Smith.
"No, t'hireuee,” she answered him
sadly, but firmly, "if I married you
there would be one less Smith and one
more Johnson—and you already- out
number us In the city directory.”—Chi
cago Tribune.
A touSrmed Kplcare.
it Will have no uuiver-ity oig ■ xatmu
st all. is building up ou the Fenway,
a strip of parkway constructed by
Frederick Luw Olmsted lu the low­
lands that formerly separated Bostou
(rum Br.tokllue. Raug«l about the
Feu a ay :ta If It were a campus are
the buildings or sites bimiu to be built
ou of higher schools that uow have
nu aggregate student |s>pulaliou of
more thau 7,tkM>. This group will
have uo president, uo general fac­
ulty. uo special ituud of union except
that of Is-lng lu the same uelghlior
hood, yet, s«»n from the outside, it
will present the appearuuee of a great
university, arrang«! In accordance
with a distinct architectural plan.
Among the sclnsils composing this
group will be the New Englaud Con
servatory of Music, the School of the
Museum of Flue Arts, the Fenway
«tudlos. with class rooms for instruction
In arts and crafts; the Harvurd Med
leal sell x>l, Harvard Dental school.
Tufts Medh’al sellout, Simmons Col
lege For Women. Emerson College of
Oratory, Boston Norma! college uud
Girls' Latin sclisol. other Institutions
will move later Into tin «lucutioual
center that In some respects will be
similar to the great collection uf
schisila of New York's .'tcro|silis. Morn
u*.iul>ts. When these Institu­
tions are all In place, say. four or nve
years lienee, they will probably have
un aggregite enrollment of ut least
lO.tkMl students. The first member of
this unnamed university to be estab­
lished with complete buildings uud
dormitories wus the New Englund
Conservatory of Music, which lu many
respects has set u puce for the other
schools to follow.
‘That man Is what I call a real epi
Marahall Field mid John Hay.
cure." remarked a grand stand specta
Once in talking with Marshall Field,
tor as a man left at the close of the
the great merchant of Chicago, be told
seventh Inning.
me that his preference and choice for
"Indeed?”
"Yes; he would rather eat than see a president was nolle oilier than John
Hay. 1 asked him If it might be my
baseball game."—Washington Star.
privilege to convey that Information
to Mr. Hay. He said that I wus nt
The Worst Part of It.
liberty to do so.
! wish that I could picture the mod
est way in which the secretary re­
ceived thia great compliment from the
celebrated merchant, for the little in­
cident speaks of tile sterling qualities
of John Hay’s character. There was
none of that affected modesty which
Is sometimes seen In the political ma­
neuvers. He repli«! In tluit mellifluous
voice so resonant with earnest candor:
“We never are too old to be 1 sensible of
the kindly appreciation of our fellow
men. As for presidential ambitious,
I never possessed them iu the slight-
est degree, for I knew I beyond all
doubt that I could not hold that po­
sition, but to have the consideration
uud appreciation of mj’ fellow citizens,
even-111 such a remote connection, is In­
deed gratifying." National Magazine.
Frog Care For Typhoid Fever.
Critic -One thing I didn’t like about
your play was the long watts between
the acts.
Player—Nonsense! They’re nothing
compared to the long waits between tn
stallnients of salary.
Esau's Tip.
"I tell yo 1 what," grumbled the pessi­
mistic waller, "people ain't glvln’ tips
like they us«l In the old days."
"That's right,” replied the funny
waiter. "Think of Esau, who gave bls
birthright for a mess of pottage."—
Philadelphia Ledger.
Innocent and t'nfortnnnte.
Your correspondent, like other peo­
ple, lives ami learns. He discovered
the other day that a toad applied to the
foot of a fever patient and kept there
would certainly cure the patient. It
may be that the same is a well known
remedy, known of old, but it Is new
here. A young man In this county has
been very low with typhoid fever for
several weeks, ao ill in fact that the
physicians gave him up to die. Anoth­
er young man once suffer«! with ty­
phoid and took the frog treatment and
was cur«!, and so the treatment was
applied to the patient mentioned with
gratifying results. The young man Is
reported as convalescing. The toads,
ttie story runneth, turn green and die,
having drawn all the fever from the
patient. It seems to be an excellent
remedy, but It Is tough on the frog —
Newton Cor. Charlotte News.
“What’s all that outcry in the back
lot?”
"That's the fatted calf. It Just heard
England'» Military Canal.
that the prodigal was expected home
It Is not generally known that Eng
today.’*—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
land has a “military canal," started a
century ago as part of the scheme of
Matter of Shape.
defense propounded by Mr. Pitt In
“What have you In the shape of • cu- view of a possible invasion by the
cumbers?" asked the would be cus-
<
French under Napoleou. The canal
turner as lie entered the grocery.
was to have been thirty-six miles iu
"Nothing but bananas, sir,” answered length, running from ltye to Hythe, the
the new clerk.—Chicago News.
Idea being that It would serve as the
means of conveying stores mid also act
The Lucky Amateur.
“You went hunting while you were as mi obstacle to the enemy's advance
on your vacatlou, I bear, Did you once he landed. Now, a hundred years
after Its Inception, money Is proposed
bring in anything?”
to be voted for putting It In a state of
"One small animal.”
repair.
"You don't say? What was ft?”
"A live dog.”—Philadelphia Press.
French Official Titles.
The French republic has Just made
A Bennty.
"Your auto never goes far without Its first concession to the European
sentiment in favor of titles. Hitherto
breaklug down, does It?"
"No, that's the beauty of It. It’s so government officials, from the presi­
easy dragging It back home, you dent down, have been plain "mon­
sieur." In the army the highest title
know.”—Brooklyn Life.
Is the democratic "general,” while In
other great military states brilliant of­
Like Father Like Son.
Mr. Gotrox—When I was your age. ficers receive the distinguish«! desig­
nation of "Held marshal.” The Moni­
sir, I didn't have a dollar!
Cholly Gotrox—Well, dad, when I am teur official, however, has just an
your age 1 probably won’t have a dol­ nounced that the president and minis­
ters of state will henceforth be “excel­
lar!—Puck.
lencies "
A New Alphabet.
Snakes In Hawaii.
Mother (who Is teaching her child the
Snakes are not wanted In Hawaii. A
alphabet)—Now, dearie, what comes circular Issued during the past sum
after g?
mer by the secretary of agriculture
Th6 Child-Whizz!—Judge.
says, "Until further notice no permits
shall be Issued for the delivery of
At fl P. M.
snakes of any kind at any port of the
Conductor—Why don't you move up Hawaiian Islands.” and that "ship
forward, there?
ments of snakes presented for entry
Passenger—The motorman won’t let will be immediately destroyed or re­
me.—Cleveland Leader.
turned to t4ie port from which sxgprt-
ed at the expense of the owner or
In veatlffation.
agent ”
Head of Trust—Have you finished
that doctor«l statement of the affairs
Watare’s lak.
of the corporation?
The Ink plant of New Granada Is a
Secretary—Yes.
curiosity. Tlie Juice of it can be used
Head of Trust—Good. I'll arrange as Ink without any preparation. At
Immediately for an Investlgation!- first the writing Is red. but after a few
Life.
hours It changes to black.
Little Corina had In her extreme
youth lieen passionately- fond of dolls,
albeit a trifle destructive of them.
There came n day, n "strange, sad
day,” when sawdust and false hair no
longi r fascinated her. She demanded
a real baby. Her parents protested
th.it the realization of her demand
would Involve them In financial ruin.
Two Great a Strata.
"I dou't Iwlieve real babies are ao ex
"What la the mattab with Weggle?"
pensive as you think they are,” ex­
"The doctor says it Is brain fag. "
claimed Corina. "I see every day Ji it
"Just as I expected. I told the deab
lots anil lots of ever so poor peop.e
fellow be bad bettah let his man pick
with them."
out bls necktlpR for him.”—Ryrm-UM
Herald
Napoleon's Hands.
Napoleon had la-autlful bands end
la a Had Way.
was very proud of them, often contem­
It
was
■
New England parson who
plating them with a self satisfied air.
announced U> his congregation one Suu
He never, save when military etiquette
day, "You'll be sorry to bear that the
rc .aired, wore gloves, being aware of
little church of Jonflsvllle is om-e more
the bud Impression that would tie ma4r tossed upon the waves, as sheep with
oil rough soldiers by a pair of small, out a shepherd.” Boa ton Christian
delicate white bauds.
ItegUtel
Hie Authority.
Governess (looking over geography
paper!—What’s this? "The people of
I-ancaahlre are very stupid!" Where
In the world did you get that idea
from? Pup»-Out of the book. It says
that Lancashire la remarkable for Its
dense population.—Punch.
.(«■nplnff It.
“Willie,” said bls mother, "are you
making the baby cry?"
"No’m," replied the boy. "I'm boldin’
my hand oYer her Bionth to make her
stop.”