Bandon recorder., February 01, 1906, Image 2

and ordered the crowd of pleading little
THE DAGUERREOTYPE.
APPLES FOR BREAKFAST.
CHOICE MISCELLANY
•
SHORT STORIES
folks to scatter asci not take up the
wholeside walk. ‘ ‘Move on—move on, ” Odd Autlona Coa>v«*rulujf th« Proeeaa
A Hreacrlptloa That Mar Sate Tag
Folltrn«**« «ud < rituv.
A (aludatoue Vueedote,
Uhea it W m Haw.
Mauy a Doctor'« Fee.
he said. Yet I think the sight of the
Our language and vocabulary, with
The sarcastic cheer is very common,
Many a tn using remarks were made
The
true,
not
th#
uew.
should
be
the
'
children
waiting
for
a
peep
at
Santa
our growing slackness, are changing.
THE SICILIAN.
and I recall one fatal example of Its
Claus and for the tiny box of hard, at the doors of daguerreotype gallerlea use. Mr. Gladstone was onee drawing motto of those »ho write gr speak We are carrying things (otherwise In­
when
they
were
first
opened
in
this
about the apple, the fruit longest lu supportable) with a laugh and coining
■ 1» l.lfr la
*boui l>> a SeHaa
common candy, touched him almost
country. A small frame containing a very remarkable conclusions from use by our braueb of the bumau race. phrases for the purpose. As lias been
of Absurd Suprralltiou«.
as much as it did Pollv.
dozen specimens would draw a crowd. some figures, an art in which be wus There are certain simple principles
People of Sicily ure vastly superstl
said, we are still sensitive to sucli
There are ways and ways of adver­
One man would undertake to describe an unupproached master. A member that must t>e given, line U| hiu line, pre­
tlous. The Sicilian believe«, to give a tising, and every successful firm has
coarse words as “thief” and “steal,”
But, as 1 said before, there are ways how they were made. “You look in the
on
the
other
side
laughed
out
a
“
Hear,
cept upon precept, to every fresh gener­ but it is vain to deny among ourselves
tew examples, in the existence of u
realized long ago the value of the dif­ and ways of advertising. One of our machine, and the picture comes if you
Lear?’ Ironically. Gladstone stopped ation of men or rather should be given that certain unchallenged doings of to
double tailed lizard which condescends
big department stores in San Fran­ look long enough.” Another would
ferent
forms
of
making
known
to
the
to take In its mouth the w Inning num
instantly and turned and looked with Just about that time that the genera­ day forcibly suggest those terms. So
hers of the lottery. He believes It is public their various stocks of gissls, cisco has advertised free delivery to all •ay: "It is not au much the looking that interest at the interrupter, who as­ tion is liegluning to lose its freshness we save our face with an indulgent
unlucky to marry or begin a Journey etc. One man will not have auything the near-by towns. That advertise­ does it The sun burns It In if you suredly would at that moment have and to call on the doctor for remedies. gayety not devoid of humor. We give
on a Tuesday or a Friday. He believes but fence advertisements, and he will ment is a tempting liait to housekeepers, keep still.” Another made It all very given u good deal to recall bis words. Every well to do man of good digestion u twist and a turn to the rapidly cluing
and appetite tends to eat too much
in the power of maledictions and of tLe pay a gissl price to anyone who will but they should stop and think the plain by stating, -The plate la a look­
Then he turned back to the speaker. meat every day after tils twenty-fifth Ing English language, und the ugly
evil eye and attempts to defend him bring a catchy ad. that will attract matter over before making their pur­ ing glass, and when you alt in front of
words disappear in tlie process.
“
Sir.
”
be
said,
“
the
honorable
gentle
­
it
your
shadow
stick*
on
the
plate.
”
blrtInlay, and one of tlie values of
self against them by wearing amulets, the attention of ixissers-by. Another chases. It Is not just to the home mer­
When a conductor steals a fur«1 we
How
it
cauie
about
was
never
man laughs.” For a minute or two he fruit, tlie apple abovg others, is the Jocularly remark tliat be is "knocking
such as the corno, a coral imitatlou of man will spend all of his spare time chants who will sell you the groceries
known, but the impression became quoted from memory a long string of ease with which It may be made an
the horn of the goat; by spitting three
writing up newspajier ads. and lelieves and other supplies just as cheap as tlie general that the slttfr must not wink. figures proving the accuracy of what be "antimeat for breakfast” article. With down on tlie company;" when we steal
times on the ground while pronouncing
San Francisco merchants, and every No operator of Intelligence ever told bad previously said. “Tlie next time buked apples and cream and good a ride from the same company and <o-i
a magic formula or (in certain dis there is no other way to obtain the
ductor we laughingly refer to our all.
dollar
spent at home benefits your town tlie sitter not to wink, for the effort to the honorable member laughs,” be con­ roast potatoes on the breakfast table cess in "beating tlie game;” when we
good
results
that
every
advertiser
is
tricts) by invoking the name of Virgil,
refrain
would
have
given
the
eyw
an
tinued
in
honeyed
tones.
“
1
would
ad
­
tlie dish of cold or hot meat becomes brllie we merely "influence” or "square
who somehow acquired during the mid seeking. The latter is right, too, for and the money is kept in circulation
die ages a bizarre reputation as a ma­ even if the men of the household do just where it will do the most good and unnatural expression. We found It a vise him—I would venture to counsel subordinate even if it is not entirely things;" when we are brilied .. ....... I
gician. He believes In sorcerers, of not read the ads. announcing the many advance the interest of the place you duty to tell the sitter to wink as usual; him-to ornament bls laugh to deco­ abolished. Men of forty, the age when lect "assessments" or "rel iites” i r
whom a gisally number practice pro­ bargains their wives and grown up are pleased to call home. Every dollar that natural winking did not affect the rate it—with an idea.”—Henry Norman every m in not a fool is supposed to “commissions” or “retainers." und >
have acquired tlie right to give medical on until we reach a grave definition of
fessionally on his island, selling to him daughters do. Some women watch you give the San Francisco merchants picture. Even then It was not always in Century.
advice, at least to himself, will relate "honest graft,” which would l>e mole
among other wonder working charms eagerly for the bargain ads., and the is thrown away so far as your town is understood. One old lady Jumped out
Carried Ills Samples.
of the chair before a sitting was half
their various wonderful discoveries and humorous If so many |ieople <1 <1 >• t
grotesque colored Images of St. Paul to
concerned. You expect your mer­ over, raising both bands and exclaim­
During a recent meeting of tlie Louis­ remarkable self cures Just as they had feel that the term supplied them wit i
be attached to barren fruit trees and war situation and other events of the
ville
presbytery
Delegate
Hawthorne
given up Illi hope, and ill general these a long felt want. Now, these e\m,-
barrels in which wine has soured. He day hold no interest for them until chants to keep an up-to-date stock and ing: “Stop it. atop it! I winked!"
Another remarkable fact was that of Princeton, says the New York Trit) reduce themselves to this: "I ate less sions and others like them limy be.,r a
believes that a person born on a Fri­ they have run their eye over the ad­ you are displeased if you want some­
une, told this story of pioneer days meat, but I did uot know it, and I took strong resemblance to thieves' slang,
day is able to predict the future and vertisements in the paper and found thing in a hurry to think he does not sitters seldom acknowledged their own
and vouched for its accuracy: One of a great deal more fruit, especially ap­
but they merely reflect the Ian ani'.c of
that a person born on June 29 (the fete where the biggest liurgain sales were have it on his shelves. You term him likenesses. “All good but mine,” was
tlie circuit riders in my part of the
a people unconsciously retreating (•• a
of S* Paul, who was unharmed by the announced, and then some wise little a “back number.” Who is to blame the common decision. An aged couple state was extremely fond of pepper ples."
after
examining
their
pictures
came
to
Baked apples for breakfast tend to lower moral level. Everybody's Magi
viper which encircled his baud) is able lady rises up and says, “Why, do you for It but his own tow iuepeople who in­
to d<> botn these things and to eburw really believe that newspaper advertis­ sist u ] m > ii helping to enrich the propri­ this conclusion, "Marla, yours la per­ sauce, and as he could seldom find any reduce the amount of meat eaten if we slue.
strong
enough
at
places
where
lie
stop
­
fect, but tl s does not look like me.”
serpents besides.
are Inclined to eat too much and to
ing pays?” They know it is a foolish etors of tlie big department stores at But the old lady answ^fed, "Jeems. ped lie always carried a bottle with supply tlie system with mineral foods
Senator earmark'« Little JoUr.
question when they ask it, for some of the ex|>ense of their own merchants. yours is as natural as life, but mine is him. He happened to be at a hotel one anil tlie digestive tract with acids.
“Senator E. W. (’arm .< k of Tennes­
SORRY SHE SPOKE.
them would as soon think of going Housekeepers will be guilty of this, a failure.” After a longer consultation night, though lie usually stopped at the People who eat too much food are not see is quite a wag." slid a former Ten­
*•> be advised to eat baked apples as a nessee politician. "About twenty yean*
The Mistake That Waa Made (»> a w ithout their cup of delicious coffee for and yet if any charitable work has to the old gentleman said, “We must
men- addition to the breakfast, and ago he was a member of tile county
New York Milliner.
breakfast as to deprive themselves of be done or church entertainments be know each other better than we know
those who need a substantial meal court of Manry county. Tenn., and ex­
One of the richest and most promi­ the pleasure of their morning ad. nail­ given to raise funds, they swarm in on ourselves.” At one time when Daniel
must not let the baked apple interfere tracted a great deal of fun from the
nent society women in New York ing. I heard a lady remark the other their home meichants with the request Webster sat for a daguerreotype the
witli the taking of solid food. As a deliberations of that staid If some­
cuught an unexpected glluipse of the day, “I never did care much for read­ to give, give, and are annoyed when finished picture was held before him.
Turning away, he said: “I am not to
rule, those who eat three meals per times stupid body, tme of Carmack's
reverse side of a Fifth avenue trades­
ing, and if it were not for the adver­ they don’t see their way clear to always Judge of my own looks. It is for you
diem will wisely have the nicest dish tricks brought the court notoriety if
woman’s manners the other day. The
meet the demands made upon them. to Judge, anil you must decide whether
of baked apples obtainable for break­ not fame. The jm::ee. who knew ns
society woman in question is very tisements I would never open a pajier.”
tiition as a jay
fast It is n piece of simple wisdom little about tlie cm
quiet and unostentatious in her dress, A gentleman engaged in the dry goods They have families to supjiort, and the work is worthy of your reputa­
wortli pages of ordinary medical litera­ bird knows about t! e Koran nnd cured
and It is only the appointment of her business in oneof our prosperous inland remember, the most influential and tion."—A. Bogardus in Century.
ture. The digestion of milk is some less, was grinding out laws regulating
equipage that tietrays the fact that she towns grumbled at his newspaper ad­ wealthier town jieople give their money
Justice
w hat delayed by sour fruits, but pure, everything under tlie sun
is wealthy. She stopped her carriage vertising bill, claiming that no one to ban Francisco merchants instead of
MISTAKES IN LIFE.
rich cream is not milk, nml taken with Carmack arose and presented n reso­
outside the establishment of a fashion­ read them and that it didn’t pay well patronizing their home people.
n Juicy linked apple what dish can be lution which recited in its preamble
Brooding Over Them la Useless and
able milliner, entered and addressed enough for the money invested. “Very
the uselessness of constitutions in gen­
Lnprolitnhle Worn.
more tempting and wholesome?
the proprietress.
w’ell,” said the shrewd newspaper man,
BRIEF REVIEW.
If you are twenty-eight or thirty-five, eral and tlie depravity of the Tennes-
One of the most unprofitable ways
“I see you have in your window a
who hadn’t a doubt in his own mind
Inclined to ring the doctor’s bell and si-e organic law in particular nnd
of spending time Is the practice, to
sign, ‘Apprentice Wanted,’ ” she began.
talk witli your druggist, try this pre­ wound up the resolve that ‘the consti­
which many |iersons are addicted, of
The milliner eyed her contemptuous­ as to the efficacy of the well written
Americana In Corea.
scription. You may put sugar on tlie tution be and tlie same is hereby abol­
brooding over the mistakes one has
ly from the crown of her modest bon­ advertisement. “Now I have a proposi­
Americans have an electric street
apples, but we shall not sugar coat tlie ished.' Carmack made n brilliant and
made in life and thinking what lie
net to the tip of her common sense tion to make you, and if it brings no
railway in Seoul anda gold mine in the might have b*en or achieved if he
remedy witli any mystery or any claim stirring speech. working tlie court up
shoe.
results I will print your advertisement
to novelty. We merely turn to your to a frenzy of indignation. At the close
“You W'ould not do at all.” she said. fret* for a whole year. You are to get north which employs fifty or sixty for­ had not done at certain times Just what
good wife or your housekeeper and ask of Ills effort tlie court passed tlie reso­
“I want a ladylike person who can a lot of trinkets—say paper dolls for the eigners and 12tMI Coreans, and pays into he did do. Almost every unsuccessful
the inqierial treasury an annual royalty man In looking over his past career is
whether she Is careful to give you nice lution witli a whoop. Nobody smiled,
wait on customers.”
girls, a toy cannon or spinning tops for
roust apples and cream and to make not even t'armncL. at tlie time, but
"I wished to place one of my maids the loys. Away down in the corner of of $12,500. America should have a inclined to think that it would have
tile breakfast meat dishes as little next day wl.cn tlie news was scattered
with some one from whom she could
special interest in Corea, as one of our been wholly different but for certain
your add 1 will print in small type,
tempting as may be. American Gar­ broadcast the state roared in appreci­
learn millinery while I am abroad,”
four small Asiatic wars was with Corea slips and blinders—certain hasty, ill
ation
Birmingham News.
den.
continued the visitor quietly, “but I’m ‘ 1'lie boy or girl bringing this ad. to a generation ago. For years an Ameri­ considered acti into w hich he was be
Mr. B----- 's store on Saturday will re­
trayed
almost
unconsciously
and
with
­
afraid you would not do.”
can was foreign adviser to the Emperor,
Stumped For a Mulmtltute For Slung.
PRE-EMPTED BY BIRDS.
As the footman opened the carriage ceive u gift.' I’ll warrant you’ll have
out a suspicion of their consequences.
and I once heard an earnest Corean ar­
"It's pretty hard to avoid tlie use of
door for Ills mistress the horror strick­ to have a man just hi attend to the de­
As lie thinks of all the good things
Tlie Noddle« That Own Hird Key, In
slang these days,” remarked a well
en milliner recognised too late the liv­ mands of the wee folks.” The dry guing in favor of America’s assuming a of this world-honor, position, power
tile Gulf of -Mexico.
known professor of English literature.
ery of one of tlie “first families” of gissls merchant agreed to this and laid protectorate over his land. But our and Influence—of which he has been
"THS, J1HOTHBB." SAID THE MINISTER,
Out In the gulf of Mexico sixty-five “At any rate there are certain expres­
chief
contribution
to
Corea
is
neither
New York.—New York Press.
deprived in some mysterious. Inexplica­ borne of a friend. A man sat across
in a stock of trifles that would delight
tn I les from Key West toward the Bet­ sions which aren't found In tlie diction
commercial nor jiolitieal, but moral and ble way. lie lias no patience with him­ the table from him and. seeing tlie
the hearts of boys and girls, although
ting sun rise half a dozen barren sand ary that can’t lie duplicated very well.
self.
and
us
it
is
painful
and
humiliat
­
religious.
There
are
about
130
Ameri
­
CROWS AND ROOKS.
sauce, asked if the minister would bars from the exquisite turquoise blue The other day after 1 had Just given a
he was convinced in his own mind
ing
to
dw
’
ell
long
upon
one's
own
fol
­
can missionaries in the land, with 30,-
share it with him. The request was waters. One of these, Garden key, is a lecture to my class, advising them
that he would haven hard time getting
There Are Many Points <»r Difference
(XX) adherents.
And the influence lies it is fortunate if he does not im­ granted, and tlie stranger poured out government fort and coaling station; against the u.,«• of slang, a bright
rid of the boxes of gifts he had pur-
Between These Birds.
which Christianity has already exerted plicate others—friends and relatives— a libera) allowance of the sauce into another is the Loggerhead key, our last young fellow came to me with this
Scientifically corvus Is the generic chased for tlieexjieriment. Theslirewd has lieen as an awakening of the dead. In his disappointments. Perhaps, as his soup.
outpost toward Cuba and Central query:
title of the bird family which includes newspaper man printed a number of ex­
education lias never been free from
At the first swallow be made a wry America. Other islets are untenanted
The jKMsible triumph of Russia hangs mistakes—mistakes Indeed of every
“ 'Wliat would you substitute lu
crows, rooks, ravens and Jackdaws.
tra papers, believing that there would
face and blurted out, "Minister. -Jo yon save when tlie great sea turtles crawl, place of "JumpiNl over” In the sen­
A main distinction between crows lie a run on his office. Saturday morn­ as a pall over all the American interests kind—lie Imputes the blame to his preach eternal tire?”
one alone, Bird key. Is pre-empted by tence, "He Jumped all over tlie um­
and rooks is that black and gray crows, ing came, and when the proprietor of in the land. The triumph of Ja|>an early training. In which habits of thor­
“Yes, brother,” was tlie reply. "Why the birds. It would be hard to find pire?" ’
would
be
the
guarantee
of
progress
and
oughness
and
accuracy
or.
again,
of
which are found always in pairs, are the store appeared there were several
do you ask ?”
a more desolate or isolated region.
"Well, I have to confess that that
migrants, retreating southward with
civilization.
self reliance and Independence of
"Because you are tlie first preacher I Though the climate Is warm through­ sentence was too much for me. I tried
boys and girls who believed in “first
the advance of winter, while rooks are
thought may not have been lihplant- ever saw who carried samples," was out the year. It is not until May that
substituting various words, such as
gregarious and remain where they have come first served,” waiting for him at
ed. Perhaps a calling was chosen for tlie answer.
The Bullseye.
the feathered hosts arrive from the far criticise, complained about, etc., bnt
been in the habit of nesting. Crows, the door. Every one of them had the
him by ills parents without regard to
south at this samly rendezvous. In the they nil failed to give the adequate
Why is the target's bullseye so called? his peculiar talents or tastes and pref­
too, are carrion enters, while rooks, advertisement cut out or the whole |>a-
Little Unetlon In It.
van come tlie noddies, a few about the meaning. I gave an excuse to my pu­
though food of grubs and worms, will per with the ad. marked. By noon the This is one of the many instances in our erences. or if he was allowed to choose
John Morley, tlie biographer of Glad 1st of May and the rest within a few pil that this was a baseball expression
language
where
words
have
gained
a
not touch dead tilings unless driven to boys and girls were in line entering in
for himself It was when his Judgment stone, being commended for the seri­ days. A week later the sooty terns
and couldn't be altered, but that didn't
do so by hunger.
orderly fashion to get the gifts. Only higher status than that with which was immature and untit for tlie respon­ ous teaching of his writings, said pour in, and it Is said that within a satisfy my own conscience as to the
The most obvious Individual (mints one or two failed to show the advertise­ they started and have been promoted sibility. The result was that the square laughingly: “No; that is ail wrong. week of their arrival both kinds begin
growing use of slang.”—Philadelphia
of difference between the two are the
ment as requested ami there was a good from the slang dictionary to tlie dic­ man got into the round hole or the tri­ You remember the French story of tlie to lay. At the time of our coming Press.
absence of feathers from the face of
tionary of words of respectable and cur­ angular man got Into the square hole monk who was a great friend of the nearly all the birds had eggs and were
the adult rook, giving it a vulture like excusecoming from the omission. “The rent use. Bullseye is found in the dic­ or the round man squeezed himself devil—quite an old story. One Sunday devoting themselves to their family
A ••Triple Alliance.”
newspaper
office
didn
’
t
have
any
more,
look, to which its characteristics other
into the triangular hole.-Success.
the monk found himself too ill to cares.
Some of the Albanians whose Insur­
tionary
of
“
The
Canting
Crew
”
as
far
Mr.
B
-----
,
”
and
on
this
plea
they
got
wise luirdly entitle It, and the fact
preach, and the devil appearing tn the
To reach the buildings from the little rectionary operations have been an oc­
that Its feathers are of a rich purple their gifts. Before half the afternoon back as 1690 and was the vulgar word
sacristy he persuaded that obliging landing place we had to pass through a casion for concern both to Turkey and
THE TERM "BLACKLEG.”
black, almost Iridescent, while the had waned the firm had to announce for the central ring of the target used
person to go into the pulpit and ha­ tract of bushes, and here it was that I to the powers which are trying to com­
plumage of the black crow is in shad­ that the supply had given out and that as a mark for archers, which was col­
rangue the congregation. The devil saw tlie first nests of the noddies. Up­ pel reforms in that region nre curious
It Probably Came From Sporting
ing somewhat like a badly polished there ware no more presents for that ored differently from the other rings.
preached a most masterly sermon, cov­ on the tops or in the forks of the bush­ ly Ignorant as to the conditions in the
Men Who Wore Black Top Boot«.
boot nnd possesses but little luster.
Saturday. A number of the little folks This may have arisen from the ancient
The term blackleg, which has come ering himself with shame and confu­ es each pair had built a rather rude yet outer world. A writer who visited an
went away feeling abused to think rounded shields, cut out of ox hide and to mean one who systematically tries sion. 'How now,' said tlie monk when fairly substantial platform of sticks, Albanian monastery says: “The fact
Wooden Shoes In Hollon,I.
they had been left out. “I acknowl­ strengthened with a spike or central to win money by cheating In connection the devil came down. 'You have pret­ only slightly hollowed, and upon each that I write impressed these worthy
"The wooden shoe,” said a native of
edge
I was wrong,” said the merchant I loss for this shield or target; hence tar­ with races or with cards, billiards or ty nearly ruined yourself with that one sat a dark gray bird. There was friars greatly, and Padre Gioacchino,
Holland, “is worn almost exclusively
sermon.’ 'Oh. dear, no,’ answered the something about these graceful little politician, as are all Albanians, made a
to
the
wide-aw ake newspaper man. “I get was often used as a mark itself. ether games of skill or chance and Is
by tlie peasant classes, and they find
devil; 'no barm done, no harm done. creatures that Instantly took me by wonderful suggestion. 'Write a long
When
sheet
glass
liegan
to
tie
manu
­
used
as
synonymous
with
a
swindler,
did
the
biggest
day
’
s
work
I
have
ever
them more comfortable tluin the leath­
There was no unction In It.’ Well, storm, a case of love at first sight. The article, my sou,’ he exclaimed cntliusl
a
welslier.
is
of
uncertain
origin.
Some
factured
the
thickened
part,
where
the
er shoes that are worn In America. The done in the store. Not only the chil­
there is little unction in my poor noddy is very much like a dove—ex­ astieally. Thou knowest us and the
authorities
connect
it
with
tlie
black
foot Is clad in a heavy woolen stink­ dren came, but their mothers as well, tulie had been attached, was called the
books."
cept for Its webbed feet-ln size. In bravery of my nation. Suggest an al­
ing and then slippisl Into the shoe and nearly every one 1 ought some­ bullseye. Then this term was succes­ legs of a game cock, so much used by
form, in the softness of Its plumage, liance against Europe that will assur­
the
sporting
fraternity
for
betting
pur
­
without fastening. They never fall off thing before they went out. Count me sively applied to a lens of glass, especi­
It Certainly Wa« Odd.
the expression of its large dark eyes edly destroy tlie balance of the pow­
poses.
because the people are used to wearing down as one of your biggest advertisers ally in a ship’s side, to the lens of a lan-
The Duke of Roxburgbe lias III his
According to another and more prob­ castle at Kelso a number of tine family and its gentle, confiding ways. There er*.’ Tlie alliance which the padre ex­
tl cm. They would not exchange, be­ from now on. I confess that you have ern, to the lantern itself, and finally
Is no wild affright as the stranger ap­ pected to overturn the balance of pow­
able
view,
tlie
expression
had
no
dis
­
cause any other kind would not lie
portraits.
proaches. Just a shadow of fear Is evi­ er was to consist of England, Italy—
to the central Isiss of a target.
graceful sense attached to it at first,
comfortable. The shoes are of elm thoroughly converted me into being a
Some of the rooms at Kelso are dent, but the birds sit quietly on their and Albania.”
but
was
applied
to
turf
and
sporting
very
strong
believer
in
the
benefit
of
wood and cost from 10 to 15 cents of
thrown open to the public on certain
Used "Big Language.”
men because they were often in the days. The duke sometimes tells of a nests, hoping and trusting, and do not
American money. Two pairs will last printer's ink rightly used.”
W omen nnil Hook«.
fly unless approached almost within
habit
of
wearing
black
top
boots.
When
“How some people do pose,” said a
a year.”
remark that he once heard a stranger arm's reach. Then they flit gently
Professor York-Powell is a devout
blackleg
had
thus
become
a
current
make while looklug through these away, alighting upon a neighboring lover of books. We remember hear
Last w inter, just before the holidays, big, raw-boned Westerner named Hank
phrase for professional sporting men,
Animal Criminals.
busli until the Intruder has withdrawn, lug him read a paper to a society in
one of the San Francisco dry goods Custer at the Louisville Hotel. “They it probably passed into use as applied rooms.
As a species of hardened criminals
The stranger had baited beneath two when they return directly to their Oxford which illustrated both lids de­
use great big words just to make jieople more particularly to those who took an
among placid herbivorous animals none merchants advertised that Santa Claus
think they are smart. 1 think that unfair advantage of their opportunities paintings that bung side by side. They charge. It seemed remarkable to find votion and his pretty wit. Touching
la worse than the bison, or American would lie at their stores in the after­
were portraits of the third duke and birds sc perfectly tame. -Outing.
upon the daagers t.. their trousures
the
weakest of al! affectations is that of to cheat the unwary.
noons
and
for
every
child
coming
with
buff.ihv. Tow aid mail and beast ami
his son, but the father bad been paint
against which book iovers should Is­
using
w
liat
is
called
‘
big
language
’
in
­
The derivation of this term was once ed In bls childhood, tlie son in Ills old
even among themselves these vicious, its parents he would give a liox of can­
on their guard, he denounced tlie Ir
PITH AND POINT.
vindictive and agile brutes, whose half dy. That store was swarmed with the stead of those simple terms which at solemnly argued before the full court age.
reverent treatment of books by woman
brothers on the other continents do not little folks. They had to enter the first present themselves to every person of queen's bench upon a motion for a
It was this that perplexed the stran­
kind. A woman, he said, if she were
fear even the territlc onslaughts of store in line and they blocked the side­ of common sense. At my home in Ne­ new trial for libel, but that learned ger. He studied the portrait a long I When a friend tells you of his wrongs interrupted in her rending anil wanted
be
wants
sympathy
and
not
an
argu
­
tribunal
was
unable
to
decide
its
or
­
lions and tigers, are in a state of al­ walk. “Please mam,” said one dirty- braska the other day a young lady as­
time. Then be said:
not to lose tlie place she hail reached,
ment.
most continual warfare. They nre facisl, ragged little girl to Polly, “won’t tounded my household by asking the igin.
“Is it possible that this gentleman
would put the book down, open and
Before
a
man's
first
baby
is
a
week
among the wickedest rogues ever seen
was an old man when his father was old he knows more than be had ever face downward, on the table or on the
you lie my mother? I want to go in loan of a ‘diminutive, argenteous, trun­
The St tidy of Nature.
in a zoo.—McClure's Magazine.
lawn or anywhere. Woman, in fact,
born?"—Rochester Herald.
and see Santa Claus, ami you can't go cated cone, convex on its summit and
dreamed about.
1 confess 1 have not much sympathy
was one of the great standing menaces
Speaklug
of
"secret
sorrows,
”
It
Is
a
in unless you have your mother along; semi-perforated with symmetrical in­ with the laboratory study of nature ex­
A Hainer of Pickle«.
Waited For the Score.
to books. The other, by the way, was
good plan to keep them so, as telling
“Anything 1 can do for you. mad­ my mother is dead.” I was dubious dentations.’ She wanted a thimble.” cept for economical purposes. Nature
This story was told at a dinner in
—insects.—Dindon News.
am?” asked the clerk in the seed store. about adopting the little waif until she
under the dissecting knife and the mi­ New York recently, with Mayor M< only multiplies them.
When a man Wants to give you ad­
“Yes,” answered the sweet thing, told me her mother had lieen taken
Queen Alexandra owns one of the croscope yields important secrets to Clellan as the authority for it:
Married In Two I.nnmnKr«.
tapping tlie counter with a tapering away. That decided me, however, and most valuable fiairs of opera glasses in the students of biology, but the unpro­
Because the bride could not under­
Mrs. McCosh, widow of President vice you can't lose anything by listen­
Anger. “I wish to ascertain if bottled 1 took her by her dirty little hand that the world. They areof platinum thick­ fessional students want but little of all McCosh of Princeton, was on her way ing, but you will make an enemy by stand Engllah nnd tin* groom could not
pickle seeds will grow ns well as those
understand German County Judge G.
ly incrusted with diamonds, rubies and this. I know a young woman who took to a prayer meeting where she is a refusing.
of the bulk variety ?” —Indianapolis looked as if it had not been acquainted
A man occasionally breaks even. W. Murray of Springfield. III., found It
sapphires and are said to have coat the a postgraduate course in biology at a regular attendant There was a foot
with
soap
ami
water
for
many
a
long
Sun.
noted summer school, and the one ball game that afternoon, and Mrs | When it comes to wall paper the wife necessary the other day to perform a
day and Isildly marched past the sen­ enormous sum of $30,(XX).
thing she learned was that certain ba McCosh stopped to find out about the does the picking auil the busband does wedding In the two languages.
Beginning Afresh.
tinel at the door. He hail heard the
the kicking.
cilll were found only In the aqueous score. It was Yale, 6; Princeton, 0.
The couple gnve their names ns Lou
An exchange says a Boston woman
Mr. Vexall (angrily»—I hate a woman request and smiled as we wended our
humor of the eyes of white mice. The
Every one should have saved up is Maudra and Miss Wylte Wcttf. the
Much
to
the
astonishment
of
the
who always contradicts everything a way w ith the throng tosee Santa Claus fell on the sidewalk and broke one of world is full of curious facts like that,
others at the prayer meeting Mrs. Mc­ enough money to take things a little former twenty six nml the latter nine­
man says, if I don't I'm an idiot. Mrs.
her legs. Ridiculous? There are no that have no human interest or educa­
easier by the time the age comes for teen years of age. The ceremony was
Vexall (sweetly) Well. dear. I’ll turn with his merry old face. When I got legs in Boston. Limbs are used ex­ tional value whatever. — John Bur Coah was late. Services were well un
der way when she did arrive, and she taking a nap In a chair.—Atchison first said in English, the groom giving
over a new leaf nnd commence right back to the sidewalk with my charge I clusively.
roughs in Country Life In America.
Globe.
the resjsinses, and then In German, to
was smiling Joyously.
found I had gotten myself into a world
now by not contradicting you.
which the bride made replies. Detroit
“It's 6—6 sow,” she announced ill
of trouble, for there stood a howling
Hone Better.
Prtffe nt kamtrf,
A woman simply can't help having
Tribune. _________________
a
loud
wlilsyAN*
as
she
took
her
seat.
young mob of little urchins, boys and
A Hair Reitorer.
Mrs. Wise I wouldn’t have bought
“We can't afford to recognize them.
faith in a man who notices when she
A Wrong Idea.
Wa« Not Deliberate.
.“You promised me.” site said coldly, girls, pushing and scrambling to get to
cigars
for my husband if 1 were you.
Their
ancestors
were
in
trade.
”
has on a new gown.
A certain officious person once blus­
"Johnny,” said his mother, "I'm A man doesn't like his wife to do that.
“to return the lock of hair I gave you me ami asking w ith almost one voice,
"Weren’t ours?”
tered into the office of W. J. Hender­
• nd”—
“Won’t you lie my mother?” “1 just
“Of course, bnt our trade ancestors afraid you told me a deliberate false- j Mrs. McBride—I know It's risky unless son, the music critic, and liegan to tell
Husliands |my for the tine feathers
"Gee whiz!” he interrupted. "Do you want to see Santa Claus.” “I’ll be good,
you're very careful to get the liest. but
are two generations further buck than hood.”
take me for a hair restorer?”—Ex lady.” “I won't make you no trouble.” that make the floe birds; liachelore ad­ theirs.”—Chicago Post.
"No; I didn't mamma,” protested I was careful. Mrs. Wise—Were you? him what was the matter with Jean
mire them.
Johnny. “I told It in an awful hurry.” Mrs. McBride -Yes. I picked out a box de Reszke's Interpretation of Wag-
change.
*
“Don’t you take him, lady; he’s been
neris 'Tristan."
—St Paul Dispatch.
called "Finest made.” There couldn't
Merely Going.
in
tlve times already and has had five
“In the first place,” said the caller, in
The average of suicides is lower in
The safest way of not being very
(Missibly
be
anything
better
than
that
Smith—I woke up last night with a
confident tones, “he’s got the Wrong
The Blot oa Homan Nature.
miserable la not to expect to tie very boxes of candy.” And with numerous Ireland than in any country in the horrible suspicion that my new gold
you know.
idea.”
other pleas ringing in my ears from world.
>py—Schopenhauer.
The recital of a man's happiness and
>
.ntcb was gone. So strong was the
Mr. Henderson looked at him a mo­
the
throng
of
poor
and
ill-clad
chilifren
the
story
of
bis
troubles
alike
bore
us.
I've
nevei
any
pity
for
conceited
pen
A wise philosopher gives us this ad
'I. ; nasion that I got up to look,
ment. “Well,” he remarked, "he got
A girl is always willing to admit she
vice: “Tell the truth to at leaBt three that crowded around the door, I made
i’.rov • Well, was it gone? Smith— but if forced to choose we find more pie. Iiecause I think they carry tbell hl* idea from Wagner. Where did you
pleasure In hearing the troubles.- New comfort about with them. — Geolg<
men your doctor, your lawyer end my escajie, but not before a big burly is fat if she doesn't weigh more than 110 No. but It was going.
get yours?”
Orleans Times Democrat
Eliot
,
your bunker."
policeman hail madu. bis apjiearance pounds.
BANDON REORDER.
»4