Bandon recorder., December 21, 1905, Image 6

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ISANlHt.X l!E< OltbEli.
c-
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Do so well today that you need uot
long for tomorrow.
Borne tuen ouly want your eoutl
deuce to give It to others.
If a man were his own enemy, what
stories he could tell ou himself!
. Don't judge a man by bls first friend­
ships In a tow n; Judge him by bis last.
Don’t give your friends Indigestion
by trying to poke people you like
down their throats.
Wbeu we think of the ease with
which we deceive others we should
think of the ease with which others
may deceive us.
Good news travels; not so rapidly
as bud news, of course, but it travels
Do a good thing, and people will bear
of It in time.
Everybody understands that an old
boiler must be treated with care, but
very few understand that au old atom
acb Is as dangerous as an old boiler —
Atchison Globe.
BITS FROM THE AUTHORS.
Tbe generosity aud forbearance of
tbe poor are to me astonlsblng —Mrs
Craigie.
I can conceive oí no more degrading
profession for ** woiMim Uiuu (be pro
ui.i rnuirmir .Feront"
K. Jerome.
If only we could emancipate our­
selves from the perpetual fear of the
opinion of others how splendidly free
life would become.—Robert llichens.
There Is no power without clothes.
It Is the power that governs the human
race. A policeman in plain clothes is
one man; tn his uniform be is ten.—
Mark Twain.
No one Is ever bored unless he Is
comfortable. That’s the great princi­
ple. There Isn’t time for it. You can
not be bored and something else at the
same time.—E. F. Benson.
Very few girls In the present day re
quire books with imagination. I wrote
books for them which would have de­
lighted me at their ago, but nowadays
the majority of girls read boys’ books.
—Katharine Tynan.
WILD MEN OF AUSTRALIA.
Au .Aburlulual Dwelling and a Sweet
but I nlnvitiug Dinh.
Au explorer In the wilds of northern
Australia writes: "While at work one
Jay Mr. Kingston found an uburlgiuul
dwelling which revealed evidence» of
architecturul design seldom displayed
by Australian aborigines. It was evi­
dently a main camping depot, oiul in
Shupe, about sixteen feet lung and four­
teen feet high. It wus built of layers
nt straw Intermixed with a go.«1 stiff
ilay. .Small openings as windows were
numerous all round the sides. The
door was the only drawback. This
was u mere burrow hole about one foot
from the grouml, an.l one was com­
pelled to crawl in on all fours to enter
this primitive type ut mansion. When
we cleared the river we anchored at
Maria island. Seeing some of the
blacks on the beach we went to Inter­
view them. They were apparently
frighteni-d, however, and abandon.xl
tbe canoes ou wbici they were at work
and cleared into the bush. Care was
taken not to interfere with their pos­
sessions, and pipes and tobacco were
left where tiie natives could find them.
Itambling about we came upon an open
»(»ice of considerable extent marked
out In large squares with stone, on
which were planted, three to five feet
high, five or six hollow posts, which
were stuffed full of human bones. All
the posts were painted red. We doubt­
less liad stumbled upon a sacred spot.
There were some nice skulls, but uot
a thing was Interfered with.
“A few miles up tiie river wo struck
n big camp of natives, but they cleared
into tiie bush ns soon as they caught
sight of us. Wo waited some time at
the camp, ami the blacks returned, sat
Istlixl that we dl.l not Intend mischief,
file usual presents of tobacco and pipes
wore given, anil they were received
w ith the greatest satisfaction. Indeed
we became perfect friends for the time
being. To seal the friendship, or, per­
chance, it may have been the native
fashion of 'looking toward you,' a great
buck camo to me with a wooden ves­
sel shaped like a canoe in his hand nnd
full of honey. I noticed on tiie top a
ball of grass. The chap held the houey
to me, but I shook my head, so he took
the ball of grass, whisked It about In
the sirup nnd popped It into his tuoutb.
After sucklug It dry lie put It back Into
the honey, anil when nicely soaked of­
fered It to me again. He evidently
wished me to follow his example, but
I passed. There was a fine iguana on
the fire. Just nleely cooked. This 1
did try. nnd It was really good - Just
like chicken."
SERPENT EATING SNAKE.
A Venomons Reptile That AX 111
iseli Man or Drast.
It­
The serpent eating snake, or king of
serpents (Opbiopliagus elnps) found in
Burma. Is among the most Interesting
of our venomous snakes and the only
really aggressive member of the ophid­
ians. readily attacking any man or
animal that happens its way. Tbe
female is especially irritable during
the season of modification, amt un
adult snake attains a length of from
twelve to fifteen feet. Is superlatively
sw ift nnd active ami possesses n jiolsoti
fang three Inches in length and charg­
ed with a very powerful venom, It
will be admitted tliat Ophlophagus
elapa. Naia bungnrus or serpent Ivore.
as It Is also called, ts a fee that had
better be avoided.
While Ix'lng neither an
a water snake, the Ophlophagus elaps
climbs trees with facility and takes to
water readily, swimming with ".at
ease and skill. Its poison Is as deadly
In ita effect ns that of the it ¡er hooded
snake (the Ophiopliagus elaj*s ateo car­
ries a hood). the cobra, but It is believ­
ed that the action of the venom is not
quite so rx'»l4-
The iiiortest period witliiu «which it
r*Tuved fatal to a fowl was fourteen
minutes', while a dog expired in two
hours and eighteen minutes Nichol
son relates an account of an elephant
which succumbed to a bite In three
hours Amrita Bazar Patrika
All Finnish children tirtutt learn how
to work, including uot only the art of
the cullinary department, but outside
work a*r Well, and they work for little
or in > wages. Their education is not
neglected, however, for they learn to
read and write in the Finnish lan­
guages. Usually their favorite laaik is
the Bible and they are better versed in
tbe lore of the sacred tsxik than some
—correctly »(leaking—than most of our
boys and girl». A little Finnish girl
who arrived from the old country only
a year ago has mastered English so
tiiat she can speak the language suf­
ficiently to make herself understood,
and she also reads the daily newsjia-
I »era aud keeps posted on the current
event» of the day. She does not read
rapidly, but plods along, spelling out
the words and asking some one the
meaning of those she does not under­
stand. This little Finnish lassie, with
the blue eyes and golden hair, sews
beautifully and mends rapidly and
nicely, showing her careful training
in thin line, but she says in her quaint
itt.i— aMsSset, “all Finnish girls must
learn how to sew.” In the old coun­
try she used to rise at four o’clock in
tiie morning and assist in the milk­
ing before she had breakfast. Then
she went out into the fields to work,
diggiug (sitatoes, planting or helping
hi harvest the crops. Tiie child’s work
was never done, for on her return
from the fields she had to assist in the
milking. Then came sapper, followed
by toe dish-washing, and then by tiie
light of the candles, that east hut a
dim, cathedral light over tile little
circle of toilers, she sewed. At eight
o’clock every l»ody was expected to be
asleep. Day in and day out, year in
and year out, she bad the same duties
to peiform. Here, if a mere child was
kept at work to that extent, we would
call it drudgery and making a slave of
the child worker. Probably the par­
ents or guardians of the child would
find themselves under the ban of tiie
law charged with breaking the rules
of the child-labor law. What do you
supjMise this girl received as wages?
Just twelve dollars (ier year, and she
was satisfied with this and her board.
•peel, but, Polly, th » all seem* so
iieartleaa tv we. How »be would have
appreciated ail or one-baif of tbe pleas­
ant things that have been said today,
but I doubt very much whether one of
them ever let her know bo* they ap­
preciated her noble qualities and her
genuine w«>rth as a friend who was
ready at any and ail time« to respond
to the demand for charity and the call
of distress. Her heart went out to
those in aflliction and trouble, aud al­
though her time w as taken up by her
owu home duties she always managed
to help those who were in need. I
have thought it all over as I stood here
lieside this little gray cofthr containing
the casket from which the (»earl has
been taken, and 1 have decided tliat I
want all tile kindness, all the praise of
my gixsi intentions, mid ail the flowers
now. Don't wait until I am ready to
be laid away. If you can’t say any
good of me now, please don't say it
after I am gone.’*
Wouldn’t it be a happy old world if
|>eople would just remember to say all
tiie pleasant and encouraging things,
and to give you the flowers now, when
you need them most ? Suppose we
try it.
BRIEF REVIEW.
In the Good Old days.
Not until February of 1812 did the
people of Kentucky know that Madi­
son was eleeted President in the pre­
vious November, says Success.
In 1834 one of the leading railroads
of tbe United States printed on its
time table: “The locomotive will
leave the depot every day at ten
o’clock, if the weather is fair.”
When Benjamin Franklin 11 rat
thought of starting a newspaper in
Philadelphia, many of Ills friends ad­
vised against it, because there was a
paper published in Boston.
One hundred years ago the fastest
land travel in the world was on the
Great North road in England, There
the York mail coach tore along at the
rate of ninety miles a day, and many
persons confidently predicted divine
vengeance on such unseemly haste.
When the first two tons of anthra­
cite coal were brought into Philadel­
phia in 1803, the good (icople of that
city, so the records state, “tried to
burn the stufi', but at length, disgusted,
they broke it up and made a walk of
it.” Fourteen years later Col. Geo.
Shoemaker sold eight or ten wagon­
loads of it in the same city, but war­
rants were soon issued for his arrest
for obtaining money under false pre­
tenses.
WOMAN AND FASHION WASHINGTON LETTER HUMOR ÖF THE HOUR --------------------------------- i--- |
A Charaalaa N»all<«e.
(Special Correspondence.)
A charming negligee is here pictured
Tbe demand for fresh, new, cieau
In pink and white figured silk, trimmed money of small deuomluatlona 1» so
with pink satin ribbon Deep tucks are large that the treasury Is receiving au
laid In front aud back at the shoulders, average of (2.UUU.OIJO a day of wornout
thus giving extra fu I like,«. A broad currency of all kinds, about 40 per
cent the currency of national banks.
United States Treasurer Treat said
recently that the printing snd eugrav-
Ing (lower of the Unite*! States govern
meat is not equal to the task of fur­
nishing uew currency as fast a» de­
sired Ilea Using what would have to be
contended with in this direction. Tress
urer Treat some time ago wrote to tbe
various subtroasuriee calling their at
tentipn to tbe fact that probably So per
ceut of the money sent In for redemp­
tion was perfectly good eu*>ugh to re-
inalii in circulation for many months
longer and directing them to refuse to
ris-elve that which should uot be taken
out of circulation. The national banks
of the country are so anxious for new,
clean, crisp money tliat they buudle up
loads of partly used money and turn it
Into the subtreasuries for redemption,
supposing that tbe United States has
nothing to do but keep the people of
the country supplied with pretty, fresh­
ly printed bills. Mr. Treat says the
treasury Is willing to do all tliat is nec­
essary, but that there is a limit to
sailor collar finishes the ue* k. which which the bureau of engraving aud
may be high or cut out in V shape. The printing can go In obliging the banks
Wirrless Telegraphy Extension,
full sleevtw are left open at the lower
edge, a bow of the ribbon giving a pret
The navy department is erecting a
ty finish. Several materials are adapt­ wireless telegraph tower 200 feet high
able to the mode, such as French flan­ at the Washington navy yard in an ef­
nel, cashmere, china silk, lawu and fort to communicate witli the wlreiesa
dimity. The medium size will require station at the Brooklyn navy yard.
three yards of thirty-six inch material. Heretofore messages between the two
places have been sent by relay. The
distance is uot as great as that be­
Winter Waist».
There are two entire novelties in tween other stations on the coast where
waists for winter wear. The first is messages have been exchanged, but In
in pique elaborately decorated in eye­ this case the aim is to have the means
let work and heavy embroidery. The of communication highly perfected.
waists all button up the back and have
President's New Aid».
sleeves puffed to the elbow and long,
At the suggestion of tiie president
close fitting cuffs, 'the other waists for Captain Fitz-Hugh Lee, Seventh caval
afteruoou wear are of silk, peau de ry, has been ordered to this city for
chine preferably, By an entirely new special duty at the White House as an
process exquisite flowers are painted aid to tiie president and assistant to
by hand on the front panel of the Colonel Charles S Brom well, the en­
blouse, on collars and cuffs The ma- gineer officer in charge of public build­
terial may be washed if necessary ings and grounds. Captain Lee is a
without losing one atom of the beauty sou of the late General Fitz-Hugh Lee
of coloring.
of Virginia and a grandnephew of Gen­
eral Robert Lee of the Confederate ar­
Faxhion Hint*.
my. By a singular coincidence he will
Green and prune will undoubtedly be have as nil associate in his new duties
the popular colors for autumn wear.
at die W hite House Second Lieutenant
Materials will be lighter In weight U. S. Grant 3d, corps of engineers,
than the stuffs usually worn in au­ grandson of General U. S. Grant, the
tumn.
Light quality ladies' cloth great Jioro of the civil war.
broadcloth and new and heavier veil­
Gyuinasluni For Soldier».
ings will figure conspicuously.
Ground is now beiug prepared at
Tailor made costumes, except those
strictly for business use, are to be Fort Washington, the heavy artillery
station on the I’otomac, about twelve
made with a demltraln.
There is no hint of crinoline In any miles below this city, for the erection
of the uew models sent from I’tfris, and of a new “gymnasium and post ex­
that ever recurring scare is laid for change building,” tbe contract for
which was awarded to a local firm
another season at least.
alxiut three weeks ago.
For several years past the men at
Caiueua Altai» In luxue.
('anieos are coining bark into vogue the army posts throughout tbe country
agaiu, and tbe possessors of old treas­ have lieeu encouraged to go in for ath­
ures In these may gM ttieui out and letic sports, the officers believing that
consult the Jeweler as t, their remount­ tin- sports benefited the men both phys­
ing. Neck chains with pendants are ically and morally and added much to
uuioug one of the most ftvored forms the esprit de corps of the commands.
of utilizing these, and belts of cameos
Public Documents.
strung together with link chains are
Public libraries aud the libraries of
worn with thin and sheer lingerie schools nnd colleges will soon have an
frocks. Some bracelets, too. are shown, opportunity to complete their sets of
and the old fashioned earrings make public documents. Congressional Globes
up charmingly as buttons for one’s ■ind Records. Mr. L. C. Ferrell, super­
intendent of public, documents, is now
favorite tailored blouse.
preparing a list of tbe surplus copies
The Mew Skirt«.
of these publications ou hand, there be­
Skirts show a tendency to fit more ing from one to several hundred of
closely around the hips, and the many four-fifths of the public documents Is­
bulky gathers of last year have gone sued siuce 1817 and complete sets of
with last season’s fashions. There Is the Globe from 1833 to 1873 and prac­
still a great deal of fullness around the tically all the Congressional Records
bottom of the skirt, but the lines are to date. Previous to 1817 public docu
more artistic and more closely modeled ments were known as "American state
to the figure.
papers,” the burning of the capital and
the library of congress by the British
A New French Model,
destroying what was probably the only
The smartest of the new Imported complete set in existence.
models are very simply constructed
Decoration of Hooka.
while often appearing very elaborate.
The amount of gold leaf used in the
Tailor stitching is seen here In a very big government printing office has
fetching result. The Individual charm been steadily Increasing, nearly $34,000
of this blouse is gained by the fanciful worth of the prepared article having
trimming straps, which may be oralt- been purchased last year, tbe ’ waste"
ted If preferred. These reach over the leaf reducing that amount by $0.000,
however. Tbe stamping room, located
In the old building annex, employs for­
ty young ladles to apply the leaf to the
"eases” or book covers before passing
them to the thirteen power presses.
This Is said to be the largest stamping
room In the world, 25.000 cases being
considered a fair day’s work.
On landing in this country she bad
one pair of shoes, a meager supply of
clothes, although those she had were
neat and well-made, as far as the sew­
ing went. She had little or no money,
and was in debt to tier brother for her
Eruption of Samoan Volcanos
traveling expenses to this country.
The eruption of a new volcano on the
Tiie one treasure she carried was her
Finnish Bible, and this she reads night island of Savaii, in the Hanioan group,
ami day during her leisure moments. and the terror that it caused among the
First she got twelve dollars per mouth jieople in tliat part of the South seas,
and she thought she was rich. The were witnessed by I. F. Brim, an elder
work in (he place where she was en­ of tiie Mormon church, who arrrived
gaged was so light that she called it on the steamer Sierra from Pago-Pago.
“baby work” and laughed when any­ The volcano broke out on August 21st,
body asked her if she was tired. For the confined forces from the bowels of
about six months she was contented, the earth using tiie little mountain
then tiie spirit of unrest seized her. standing back of Matautu as their
She wasn’t getting enough wages, for means of esea|>e. This comparatively
her Finnish friends who bad l>een small hill had stood for centuries with
here longer than herself told her so. 1 no sigh of having such great forces hid­
She wanted fifteen dollars, which was den beneath its cone. It was 3 o’clock
given her. As there were only two in on the morning of August 21st that
the family she was working for, and Matautu opened up. The shock of the
they were gone from eight o’clock in eruption was felt for a distance of thirty
the morning until seven and eight miles, and the force of the earthquake
at night, she was satisfied to work for shock that followed shattered church
tliat amount for a time, but it was not buildings of the London Missionary
long until she was again dissatisfied Society ten milea away. But only one
ami wanted twenty dollars, and owing person lost his life. This was a high
to a brother coming into the family, chief, who attempted to investigate the
thus making a third party to put an source of the explosion and temblor,
extra cup and saucer on the table for, ami w ho mounted a eooled-off stream
etc., she demanded twenty dollars, of lava on his way to the source of the
i
and again the lady of the house raised trouble. The lava was flooded with a
her wages because she had no time to fresh outpouring while he walked along
hunt other help and break them in to and be sank Is-neath its resistless Isxiy,
her,way of attending to tiie household litterally buried alive and cremateti.
duties. Still she is not satisfied, and
Death From Overexertion.
this strong, healthy Finnish lassie,
who was content to work from break
Three men died suddenly in New
of day un|il nine at night the year I York recently, and, according to some
round for twelve dollars a year and her physicians, deatli in every case was
board, now wants twenty-five a month 'due to tiie mad rush of every-day life
for cooking the modest and unpreten­ ’ in New Y’ork. James B. M. Grosven­
tious t wo meals a day for three people, or, a millionaire residing ou Fifth av­
Where she has nothing to do a greater enue, died on the “L” train from
part of the time except to visit friends weak heart, ami an ambulance sur­
who fan the spark of unrest and dis­ geon said tliat the attack was in all
satisfaction into uew life. Her sunny, probability due to over exertion. He
bright face is losing its attractiveness, I had beeen running to catch the train.
because she imagines tliat her services 'John G. Reinhard, au expert statisti-
are so valuable that she is not living tion, was tiie second victim of the day
paid what she 1» worth. She is not whose death was attributed to over­
alone in this, tor eveiy foreigner who exertion. He lived in Brooklyn.
lands in this country a pau|>er, or with Count Luigi Capriani, of a wealthy
little to call their owu, and who would Italian family, was the third victim of
have been a plodder working for barely “the pace that kills.’’ He was found
enough to keep jody and soul together, dying in his apartments.
and who would not have dared com­
plain or demand more than they were
Sunburn’s Miracle.
getting -a mere pittance—the moment
There are certain Arctie animals,
they land in the United States begin !
dark coated in tiie short summer, that shoulders to the belt, front and back,
to demand what they term "their in winter turn pure white, thus match­ and find tbelr complement In the small
straps of the sleeve. Tbe shoulder
rights.” The uuskilled pauper for-1
ing the snow covered landscape and es­
•igner, |>erhap» belonging to the crim- ! caping notice and harm. This change straps resemble suspenders and broad­
ii.al element, wants the same wages of color, this protection, effected no one en at the shoulder In very becoming
that Americans get who have been ' knows how, is wonderful, as wonder­ lines. These may be finished with a
narrow stitched fold of the material or
educated up to their business until ful as a miracle; and yet a kindred with several rows of stitching. The
they are valuable workers. It is hard change of color, a kindred protection, shirt waist has two tucks on the shoul­
on »killed workers, and it is passing happen» among mankind every sum­ der end more In the lower part of the
strange that such a state of affairs mer, and nobody notices it. When sleeve. The double box plait closing
should exist.
the pale city people go out in the sum­ the front Is stitched and pressed. Any
of the popular washing stuffs may be
mer sun at the seashore or the nioun-
A little silver-haired lady said the tains the light attacks them fiercely, used to develop this design, while mo­
other day, as she stood by the casket first reddening their skin, then swell- hair. serge, silk or s lightweight broad
cloth would be very chic.
of a friend she loved, and listened to ing. blistering and scorching it. If
the words of praise that fell from the they kept in the sun enough, and if
A Wooden Actor.
lipeof the many friends who eailed to no miracle occurred, the light
would
When Morris had the Haymarket
express their sympathy and (my the kill them finally, burning otl'the skin theater
Jerrold had occasion one day
last sad tribute to the one who bad first and afterward attacking the raw to finff fault with the strength, or,
gone, “I have listened all day to this, flesh. But a miracle does occur. The rather, tbe want of strength, of the
Poily. Every one has volumes to say skin changes from a (tale color to a tan company
Morris expostulated and
in praise oi the tieautiful life and per­ andon this tan the sun has no effect, said: : "Why, there Is V. He was bred
"He looks as
fect charset* and the usefulness of j The sun may beat on tan-colored skin on these boards!"
thh) dear littls woman whose earthly for days and weeks, but such skin’re­ though he had been cut out of th®>."
.
career has been cut short. They laud mains always sound unblistered whole. Applied Jerrold.
her memory with words of praise; they I
---------------------- t_
A long, alow friendship is the be-t.
are bringing the choicest buds and ' There is no r
________ of r pardon for
promise
-
-
— sins
- of others.
0 a long, slot® enmity the deadliest-
blossoms in token of their love and ge- confessing ths
Merriam.
»
<
o
Why the Tenor Was Fiard.
The late Judge ("Biff"» Hall of Chi­
cago took great delight in telling the
following story of "Punch" Wheeler:
Wheeler, at that time the advance
ggeut of a minstrel company, hail re­
turned to New York before the clone of
tbe theatrical seasou, ami a frleud.
meaning him on Broadway, asked him
bow he had fouud businees.
"Very had," said "I’unih," "so bad
that the ouly way we could pay the
mem iter» of tbe troupe was to fine
them. It worked splendidly, too, aud
by tbe time we reached Texas the man­
ager bad squared up with the whole
compauy excepting the first teuor, who
was such a proper chap that there was
no vbauee to find fault with Ills ac­
tions. At Galveatou Mr. Tenor sang
for bls solo 'The Lighthouse by the Sea'
aud for au encore responded with
’Over the Hills to the Poorhouse.’ That
gave the boss the opportunity he was
looking for. and be levied on Jlie song
star's salary for the entire amount-
first, for telling the business we were
playing to. and, second, for givtug
away tbe route of the show.”—Judge
Hit II
Hight.
Here Is a curious bit of reasoning on
the part of a little girl In a north coun­
try board school. The examiner wished
to get the children to express moral
reprobation of lazy people, and he led
up to it by asking who were the per­
sona who got all they could and did
nothing In return.
For some time there was silence, but
at last the little girl, who had obvious­
ly reasoned out the answer inductively
from her own home experiences, ex­
claimed with a good ileal of confldeuce,
"Please, sir, It's the baby!”—London
Tit Bits
And He Dlda't l.ouk It.
“George said lie went to a Turkish
bath last night and that’s what kept
him out late," remarked Mrs. Newll-
wed.
"1 don't believe there Is such a thing
as a Turkish bath.” replied her mother
"Y'ou don't ? Why ?”
“Because I saw a Turk one«." —
Catholic Standanl am! Times.
Her ItetuaBl.
8»
The Original Dixie.
I wish I was in de land o cottun.
Old times dar am ..ot (oitfutien.
I«ook away, look *away. look awqy, Dixie
land!
In Dixie land, where 1 was born in.
Early on one frosty mornin',
Ix)ok away, look away, look away. Dixie
land!
Den I wish I was tn Dixie.
Hooray' Hooray!
In Dixie land I’ll take my stand,
To lib and die in Dixie!
Away, away, away down south in Dixie*
Ole missus marry ‘'Will de weaber;"
William was a gay deceaber,
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie
land!
But w hen he put his arms eround her
He look fierce as a forty pounder.
Lxx)k away, look away, look away, Dixie
land!
His face was sharp as a butcher's
cleaber.
But dat did not seem to ffreabe her.
Look uway, look away, look away. Dixie
land!
Ole missus acted the foolish part
And died for the man that broke her
heart.
Look away, look away, look away. Dixie
land!
Now. here's a health to de next ole
missus.
And ull de gals dat want to kiss us.
I»ook away, look away, look away, Dixie
land?
But if you want to drive away sorrow
Come and hear dis nig tomorrow,
Ix>ok away, look away, look away, Dixie
land!
Dar buckwheat cakes and Ingen batter,
Makes you fat and a little fatter,
Ixiok away, look away, look away, Dixie
land!
Den hoe it down and scratch your
grabble.
To Dixie land I'm bound to trabble.
Look away, look away, look away, Dixie
land!
The Immigrant.
A foolish little immigrant
Has crossed the unknown sea
And landed on the shore of life
A citizen to be.
He did not bring a single cent.
No bagg. ae was revealed;
Upon what scenes he turned his back
His Ups are ever sealed.
He may be homesick—who can tell?
The tears are in his eyes.
No doubt he tlnds this foreign shore
A land of strange surprise.
Ah, foolish little Immigrant!
What tales were told to you?
Did you believe that work was light
And gold on bushes grew?
Good luck to you while you are hers.
And long the time you roam;
You cannot take a dollar back
When you go sailing home.
—McLandburgh Wilson.
The Gypsy's Warning.
Trust him not, oh, gentle lady,
Though his voice be low and sweet;
Heed not hin who kneels before thss
Softly pleading at thy feet!
Now thy life is in its morning;
Cloud not this thy happy lot.
Listen to the gypsy's warning—
Gentle lady, trust him not.
Mr. Ardent—Darling, when you first
refused me I felt like a drowning man.
Miss Chic—Yes. I noticed you cams
up three times.
H ow It Happened
Tom—Do you see that pretty girl in
the hammock?
Jack—Yes. What of her?
Tom—I saved her life last summer.
Jack—Indeed! At the Beashore?
Tom—No. on the front porch. I pro­
posed to her and she said she'd die If
she bad to marry me, so I excused
her.—Detroit Tribune.
Beyond Hl« Limit.
Percy—What did she say when you
(topped the question last night?
Harry—Why. she said for two pins
she would marry me.
Percy—Why don't you give her two
pins?
Harry—Because she meant diamond
studded hatpins.—Columbus Dispatch.
Ckolr Chatter.
“Give us a tune,” urged the music
rack In the choir loft. "Be obliging.
Even the bells play when they're
tolled.”
“No," growled the organ, In Its deep­
est tones. "I'll be blowed If I do.”—
Baltimore News.
Making Payment.
“All I have in tbe world I owe to my
Model Police Force.
wife," murmured the millionaire, who
The police force of Washington Is re was about to fail, "and I guess I better
garde*! as the model department of Its square up with her right now.”
kind In the United States. The men
And he proceeded to put all his pos
are looked upon as proficient and ex­ sessions In Ills wife's name— Louisville
ceptionally Intelligent. The present Courier Journal.
high stauding of the metropolitan po
lice is apparently due to the civil serv
l.lfe Conrae.
lee system employed in their appoint
"Marriage," remarked tbe old gentle
ment.
man, “Is a great educator.”
President Roosevelt when civil serv­
“Yea." replied the young wife.
ice commissioner was Instrumental In “Since my marriage I have taken two
Inaugurating the system which pre­ degrees—one as a cook aud the other
vails, and Major Sylvester, superin­ as a trained nurse.''—Boston Tran­
tendent of police, is responsible for its script.
Introduction into the regulations of the
An Insinuation.
force.
"1*0 you believe tliat man is made of
The Weather Bar.au.
The weather bureau has grown year dust, Mrs. Hasherly?” asked the friv­
by year, and its popularity has been olous boarder.
“Not all of them, Mr. Slowpay,” re
thoroughly established. It Is claimed
“Dust settles
that In order to make tbe work of the piled the landlady.
bureau effective the printing presses promptly.”-Chicago News.
must be worked overtime, and the
Mot Equal,
more printing the better the results of
"Do yon think time is money?” said
tbe service. It la asserted that the In­
Blffson.
formation of the weather bureau Is val­
"Can't be!" replied Bangs
“They
uable only as It can be distributed and say there's no end to tlme—and I'm
that, although a large part of that dis broke!"—Detroit Free Press.
tri but ion is made through tbe newspa­
pers. yet still more can only be secured
Rrgnrdlna Pkyllla.
through the printing of maps by the
She hath a dimple in her chin.
government Itself. It Is said that as
All hedged about with klssea.
And Cupid Ilea intrenched therein,
the years go by there will be more and
A wee »harpahootlng manikin
more printing demanded.
Whe very seldom mleaee.
CARL SCHOFIELD
Philadelphia Fresa
I nimwired.
Gems lti Vc.ce
< ¡1-----------------------------------------
Dune In Advnnee.
“Papa!” little Johnny began.
Artist I sold a picture yesterday.
“Now wbat do you want?” asked his Friend -Ab! What are you going to do
suffering father, with the emphasis on with the money? Artist—It's already
the “now.” ,
done with. My landlady bought it for
"Will my hair fall off when It'» ripe, half the board bill I owed her.
like yours?’’
Lady, once there lived a maiden
Young and pure and, like thee, fair.
Yet he wooed, he wooed, and won her,
Thrilled her gentle heart with care.
Then he heeded not her w'eeping;
He cared not l.er life to save!
Boon she perished—now she’s sleeping
In the cold and silent grave.
Lady, turn not from me so coldly.
For I have only told the truth.
From a stern and withering sorrow,
Lady. 1 would shield thy youth.
I would shield thee from all danger.
Shield thee from the tempter’s snars.
Lady, shun the dark eyed stranger.
I have warned thee—flow beware.
Take your gold; I do not want It.
Lady, I have prayed for this.
For the hour that I might foil him,
Rob him of expected bliss.
Aye, I see thou art filled with wonder
At my look so fierce and wild.
Lady, in the churchyard yonder
Sleeps the gypsy's only child.
—Author Unknown.
Just a Few Things.
Just a few tears sprinkled In with our
laughter,
Just a few clouds tn the blue of the sky.
Showers make brighter the shine that
comes after;
Smiles are the sweeter that follow a
sigh.
Just a few griefs in the midst of our
gladness;
Only for toll there could never be rest.
Songs ws love most hold a shadow of sad­
ness;
Joys that are touched with a sorrow are
best.
Just a few graves In the land of the liv­
ing.
Just a few moans in the midst of our
mirth.
Just a few wrongs and the bliss of for­
giving.
Bring the heart glimpses of heaven on
earth.
—Nixon Waterman.
VIXI.
I have lived, and I have loved;
I have waked, and I have slept;
I have sung, and I have danced;
I have smiled, and I have wept;
I have won and wasted treasure;
I have had my fill of pleasure.
And all these things were weariness.
And some of them were dreajrlneas
And all these things but two things
Were emptiness and pain.
And love it was the best of them.
And sleep worth all the rest of them.
-L. B.
Poaoo.
The flower unsummoned seeks the sum­
mer day;
Bo peace comes—It Is on the way.
Straight is lta flight—the wild bird's to
her tree.
Lay down thy head; peace files to thee
—John Vance Ohenoy.
Playthings.
Th** streets are full of human toys
Wound up for threescore years;
Their springs are hungers, hopes and
joys
And jealousies and fears.
They move their eyes, their lips, their
hands;
They are marvelously dressed,
And here my body stirs or stands,
A plaything like the rest.
The toys are played with till they fall.
Worn out. and thrown away
Why were they ever made at all?
Who sits to WAtch the play?
- Edmund Gosas.
It Pays <• Advertise.
An Oklahoma girl advertised for a
husband and got him. Ths total ex­
pense for advertising, wedding outfit,
etc., was 111. He died within a year,
leaving her an insurance policy of
$10,000. And yet some people claim
that it doesn't pay to advertise-*
Breaking Her Ward.
HI« Ru«y Hiy.
Bho—Would you believe It? When the «Darks (Okla.) Review.
Cassidy—Hello! How's things wid bride came to the word “obey" in tbe
Knows the Wotes.
yon? Casey—Busy, very busy indade wedding service she stuttered terribly.
"I hear the raabler of your bank to
Cassidy—Is It so? Ca *-y—Aye! Share, Ho—Well, she might Just as well break very musical ”
every time I'm at laysure I hov some her word one time as another.—Yon
“Try working off a false note on him,
fifin' to do—^Philadelphia Press
tars Itatasman
and you’ll think so “—Judgn