J»
s»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»*»»»** spicy fragrance. Many stopped to gaze
at her beautiful pinks, their attention
being attracted by the fragrance of the
lieautifui flowers.
BANDON RECORDSt
Jostle** John M. Harlan of the Unite»
»tate supreme court, when a practic
ing lawyer In LouliMille, once tried hl»
baud at newspaper wdfk, taking the
l^ace of a |«-nional friend, then editor
of tlie Ixiulsvllle Commercial The jus
tice got along all right writing editori
als, but had Ideas as to news that were
Ht variance with those of the city edi
tor.
One of the reporters had written a
clever account of a man who bad fallen
from the fourth story of a building and
It
escaped without serious Injury,
made a story of about a column in
length. With a proof of the article in
his hand the tenqsirary editor came to
the city editor and said:
"Mr. Smith, please have this story
cut down. I can't see anything In it
that makes It worth that space.”
“But It’s the ’star’ story of the Jay,
Mr. Harlan,” gasped the astonished
news man. “I think it's a remarkable
story and wed worth all the space giv
en to It.”
“I don't,” said Justice Harlan. “If a
man had Jumped up four stories, It
would certainly have lieen remarkable,
but even a fool could fall down four
stories, or half a dozen, for that mat
ter.”—New York Times.
The Driver's Point ot View.
The hotel coach was filled with a
crowd of happy, Jubilant visitors, and
the horses toiled splendidly up the
hills. Au each eminence was reached
■nd nt every turn In the road the crowd
would burst forth Into cries of wonder
and delight at the magnificent scenes
which burst upon their view. The
mountain jehu alone preserved a dig
nity and silence which rather «wed the
others. At length, after a particularly
lovely view had been passed, oil* of the
guests at the driver’s left hind re
marked:
“You don’t seem to take much Inter
est In the scenery. No doubt It’s an old
story to you."
The driver shook his head. "No,
that’s not It,” be answered. "I just
don’t care.” Then he leaned a lltth*
closer and whispered: “But I knows
just how you folks must feel. You all
come from a long distance Just to see
tilings, and you're bouud to enjoy It
anyhow so as to get your money's
worth and not feel as though you was
cheatin’ yourselves. Oh,” said this
driver in a superior tone, "I don’t mind
It when 1 understand how ’tls.”—Les
lie's Weekly.
ChwnRf to Change n Umrtrr,
"How much does it take to change a
quarter?” ailked the bartender. “Twen-
1 ty-five cents, eh? Not on your life. It
takes seventy cents to do the trick.
How many ways do you suppose u
quarter dollar can be changed? Just
exactly eleven. A fellow of limited
means may like the jingle of coin in
his clothes. In that event you can give
him twenty-five pennies or twenty pen
nies and one nickel. He may like to
have a little sprinkling of silver In his
clothes, and you can accommodate him
with fifteen pennies and*a dime or ten
pennies, a dime and a nickel.
“If lie prefers to have change handy
for a beer and a car fare, why, fifteen
pennies and two nickels will fix him
up. and if he wants a cigar in addition,
besides having a little stock of cash
In Ills jeans, give him ten pennies and
three nickels. That makes six ways.
Now, then, a fellow with a quarter can
trade it off for five pennies and two
dimes, five pennies and four nickels,
two dimes nnd one nickel, one dime
nnd three nickels or five nickels, just
as he prefers. And to accommodate
him In any way that be might select
you have to possess twenty-five pen
nies, two dimes nnd five nickels—sev
enty cents In all.”—Philadelphia Rec-
ord.
Ponliil Foolishness.
One of the commonest forms of pound
foolishness Is countenanced by many
high authorities. This is the purchase
of certain household provisions In large
quantities. Few writers on domestic
topics fall to lay stress upon the econ
omy of buying groceries In bulk. That
sugar nnd flour, potatoes nnd npples
should be bought by the half or whole
barrel, cereals by the case, butter by
the tub nnd other tilings in like propor
tion Is one of the early precepts in the
•'Young Housekeeper’s Complete Guide
to Domestic Economy.”
The Ignorant young things buy the
provisions first and the experience aft
erward. The flour grows musty, the
cereals develop weevils, the potatoes
and npples rot long before they can be
eaten, and the cook exercises a lavish-
ness In the use of the butter and sugar
she would never show were they bought
In such limited amounts that the house
keeper could hold close watch over
them. Even after these events the
young mistress feels ns If she were ab
solutely reckh'ss nnd no manager at all
when she so far departs from house
hold law as to buy food In small quan
tities.—Independent.
Iter Pet Name.
"Ab!” he sighed after she had blush-
fngly whispered "Yes” in his bosom.
"My own Mehltabell Oil. that name’s
so formal! Surely your friends use
settle shorter one, some pei iiuioei”
"Well,” sbe murmured, "the girls at
boarding school used to call me Pic
kles.”—Philadelphia Press.
An Expert.
Professor—If n person In good health,
but who Imagined himself sick, should
send for y^y, what would you do?
Medical ^tufient — Give him some
thing to make him sick and then ad
minister aunintldote.
Professor 4- Don’t waste »117 more
time here. Hang out your shingle.—
New York Weekly-
In Trmptatloa'i Way.
Jones—Has your wife got her new
hat yet?
Brown —No; I’ve glren her the money
for It several times, but she has spent
It on some great, glorious bargain she
saw liefore she got to the milliner shop
—Detroit Free I’ress.
Some pcop*^ expect fortune to break
In the door and announce her arrival
through a megaphone.—Nashville Ban
ner.
About the only way r to convert some
people Is to 'ear» them
th«
alone.- I «Bas
News.
»•»»
All lovers of carnations will be inter
ested in the following item. At the
coming aunual flower show to beheld
in Convention Hall, Kansas City, Mo.,
a prize of one hundred dollars has been
offered for the most perfect pink carna
tion. The late President McKinley
usually wore a pink carnation in his
bu I ton-bole, and the prize-winner in
this class will be named the “McKin
ley.” The most elalsirate plans have
been made for the show, which expects
exhibits from all parts of the country.
A unique feature of the exhibition is
the arrangement of the hall, which is
to represent a Japanese garden, and
four hundred square feet of space in the
great arena will be devoted to natural
flower beds. They ought to have a
lilieral display of California chrysanthe
mums to further carry out their idea.
They are now in their glory, and are
easily sent by express or mail, and will
arrive at their destination in gissl con
dition.
««««
Hpeaking of pinks reminds me of a
little lady who places the carnation
above all other flowers. To her they
are the gems of the floral world. She
has been interested in their culture for
years, but has been unfortunate in prop
agating them owing to the gophers,
which are the deadly enemy of the
carnation, helping themselves« to them
before trying anything else in the gar
den. ISlie determined to have pinks,
however, so she had an immense box
made of closely woven wire, and after
giving her order for the same returned
home to dream of the carnation bed she
had in mind which would be the envy
of all the neighborhood. The box Anal
ly came, also the bill, but I will let her
give the balance of this o’er true inci
dent iu her own words.
»»*»
“The bill for that pink box paralyzed
me for the moment, Polly. I won-
dered what my husband would say,
but I went out into the yard, got a
boy to help me, and worked like a
Trojan to get it buried and the pinks
planted before he came home. We
iiad the work nearly completed when
he arrived, and he seemed to be de
lighted with the result of my labors.
‘Well, that is a bright scheme" he re
marked, as he took in the size of the
box, and then came that dreaded ques
tion, ‘How much did it cost?’ ‘The
bill is on the porch,’ 1 replied. Then 1
dug industriously and never looked up.
Not a sound came from his direction
for several minutes, and then he gave
a long, low whistle. That is the way
he does. He doesn’t swear and storm
like some men when things go wrong,
he merely gives that peculiar whistle
of Ills and it’s worse than strong words.
You get over them quicker. About ten
minutes after he said gravely, ‘That
was pretty steep, wasn’t it, for that
pink box? Ten dollars is a whole lot of
money. Just now when taxes are to
be met and new sch<«>l-books to be pur
chased, besides our living exjienses.
John doesn’t get the biggest salary iu
the world; indeed, it is very small.’ He
was right, and I felt guilty enough, but
I never dreamed it was going to cost so
much when I ordered it. I really ex
pected three or four dollars to cover it.
But then and there 1 made up my mind
that I should make this piuk box pay
for itself.
»»»»
“I worked harder than ever to make
that carnation bed a success, planted
only the most choice varieties and plant-
ml
«rnlzxrzt Hviolltr
■'•ztzxaxzi i v>
in
ed uiuiil
seed galore,
finally cn
succeeding
in
getting two pinks that were entirely
new. I had a friend in the lloral busi-
ness in San Francisco and I confided
to him my woes and he promised to
lake all the pinks I could send him,
and as a result I have up to date cleared
fifty dollars off my earnation box.
Not only that, but I have sold them
yardsand yards of smilax besides many
clusters of mignonette and bachelor
buttons. Our unsightly backyard fence
has been converted into a thing of
beauty by choice sweet jieas that run
riot over the old board fence. For this
I stretched wire netting tlie entire
length. It was of the cheapest kind
and had large meshes that gave plenty
of room to twine tae little green ten
drils through and give the vines a
chance to climb. I cannot begin to
tell you of the baskets of sweet peas 1
have sent to the San Frenclsco florist.
My busband Is as proud of my success
with the flowers as I am, and he often
says that was the luckiest ten dollars
he ever paid out, even if he did give
that long, low whistle of his that al
ways fairly freezes me and is every bit
ae doleful as a funeral diige, or that old
hymn, gissl in ita place, “Come Ye
Disconsolate.” I have more spending
money than I ever had liefore. I am
healthier, for I spend a great deal of my
time in the garden instead of being
cooped up in the house with sewing
and cooking. It |>ays me lietter to get
some one else to attend to these lew
pleasant duties and devote my time to
raising buds and blossoms.”
Two young ladies who are tired of the
hum-drum life of waiting on customers
in a dry-goods store have a unique Idea
in view for making a living. They have
stood behind the counter for years
measuring oil' yards and yar<M of laces
and ribbons, have saved nothing, and
have lived as economically as they
they could, one of the girls w as raised
on a farm not many miles distant from
San Francisco, and sbe is going back to
the old home accompanied by her
friend, and with her father’s consent
and assistance they are going to raise
mushrooms for the market. They have
been studying up on the subject for
some time, and they think they know
just how to go about it to make
the industry a success financially and
otherwise. They will know a dainty
pink mushroom from the poisonous
toadstool, and furthermore, they have
discovered as others have done before
them, that many of the cases of poison
ing caused by eating mushrooms, was
not traced to a toadstool at all, but to a
vast number of tiny bugs or insects that
swarm at the stem of mushrooms which
have passed their prime, that is, the
pink stage into the black and discol
ored state. Every mushroom should be
thoroughly examined and the little
stem removed. If tiiere is any trouble
there you will find it in the little cavity
left in the mushroom when you remove
the stem. You might boil all of your
silver sjioons with these poisonous
mushrooms and that would simply be
no test ut all, the poison would still
lurk there. The better precaution is to
remove the stem for bugs and use the
silver for toadstools.
BRIEF REVIEW
Long Runs of Conductors.
As the speed of trains is accelerated
between distant isiints the runs made
by train and Pullman car conductors
are lenghtened out. The comluctorson
llock Island No. 21, better known as
the fast mail, run from Chicago to Des
Moines, 358 miles. Returning the next
morning they lay over one and a half
days in Chicago before coming out
again. Out on the Union Pacific con
ductors on the overland and limited
mail trains run from Omaha to Chey
enne and from Cheyenne to Ogden, 516
and 514 miles respectively. The time
they are on the road is, however, less
than years ago, when the runs were less
than 300 miles in length. Tlie distance
covered by the Pullman car conductors
is vastly greater than those by train con
ductors. From Chicago to Denver is
1041 miles. Pullman car conductors
consider this a short run. The men in
charge of the sleeping earson the North
western and Union Pacific accompany
thuircars from Chicago to Portland, Or.
It takes nine days to make the round
trip of nearly 4000 miles and they make
about two and a half trips per month.
On the Santa Fe the conductors run
from Chicago to San Francisco and on
the Canadian Pacific they remain with
their cars on the trip across the conti
nent, which consumes nearly six days
from Postland, Me., to Vancouver and
Victoria. On the Illinois Central they
run from Sioux City to New Orleans.
They rceive $75 jier month.
Artificial wool made from turf fibres
is now employed at Dusseldorf, Ger
many, for manufacturing cloth, band
ages, hats, rugs and so forth. Ten years
have elapsed since the first attempts to
make turf wool, and it is averred that
recent improvements in the processes
have resulted in the production of a soft
fibrous material, which can be spun as
readily as sheep’s wool, and which, tie
sides possessing excellent absorbent
qualities, is capable of being bleached
and colored for use in various textile in
dustries.
Taxes for Any Old Thing,
Some of the most peculiar of taxa
tions recorded are to be found in the ar
chives of Holland. In 1791, for instance,
there was in existancea tax imposed on
all passengers graveling in Holland.
In 1874 a duty of 2 shillings was levied
on each jiersou who entered a tavern lie-
fore noon, on those who entered a place
of entertainment, oil marriages and
on many other things. If a person was
buried out of the district to which he l»e-
longed the tax was -payable twice over.
According to the recent studies of Sig
nor de Sanctis of Turin, children begin
to dream before their fourth year, but
are unable to recall dreams liefore the
age of five. This age, he concludes, is
that at which a child first becomes in
stinctively conscious of self. Aged peo
ple dream less^ frequently and less
vividly than young. Women’s dreams
are more frequent, more vivid, and bet
ter remembered than those of men.
The annual report concerning the
ood supply of Paris for 1903 contains
some interesting figures. Here is the
official average of what a Parisian eats
and drinks in one year. Two hundred
and forty-two eggs, 19.26 pounds of but
»»»»
ter, 3.05 pounds of ready-cooked butch
Going liack to pinks or earnations. I ers meat, 34.(12 pounds of fish, 154.70
have another friend who is a worshijier pounds of beef, 25.88 pounds of pork
of flowers, but pinks are her hobby as and 27.83 pounds of fowl and game.
well, ami like the little lady above, she
Man loves to be praised for his intui
has gophers to contend with. She had no
wire box to plant them in, but she chose tion, woman for her logic. As a idle,
another novel plan that succeeded be neither |x>seess either.
yond her utmost expectations. Sbe
saved her yeast powder cans and cut
Grentness is to take the common
the bottoms off-. These she sank into things of life and walk truly among
the earth and planter! her pinks in them.
them. The gopher seemed to think a
Give a boy a dime, and he immedi
trap had been set for him and never
went below the bottom of the can to at- ately begins to look around for his hat.
(tack the roots. She had about seventy-
five varieties of pinks, both double and
To learn the worth of a man's religi«* ■
single, and the air was filled with their do bu»int,tn with bfm.
V LIVING BAROMETER
Tlie t'rnlllt.. S»td»r ♦l*’»* I oxe< *1
1 »eata:**» l. etker Sharp.
in Yucatan, a laud of many snrlss!-
ties. flier* 1» a living barometer In the
form of a small spider. < allml "aai” on
aeciMiUt of the effect produced By Its
poison. As far as Its own «induct goes,
•be insect Is Inoffensive and can be
handled with Impunity, but If anybody
tins the misfortune to get one mysteri
ously mixed with his food he Is certain
to die after a few hour» and meanwhile
for some unexplained reason will fre
quently ejaculate "Am. am, am!” hence
the name of the spider. Throughout
the peninsula tills Is »ffirmed to be a
fact, and If an am falls into fodder of
horses or mules the animal that swal
lows it surely dies.
This spider is shaped like a crab,
minus the claws, and is of a bright yel
low color, with brown spots; the big
gest could be accommodated upon a
silver dime. Its favorite abode is
among the leaves of the banana abrub,
commonly, but erroneously, called tree.
There It spins with extreme rapidity.
Its web, which Is prodigiously large,
considering the size of Its architect,
ami proceeds to devour the flies that
are unlucky enough to get entisugled
In the meshes of this astonishing little
glutton, that Is not satisfied with less
than a dozen a day—that Is to say. It
consumes a good deal more than Its
own b "Ik. Its progeny Is numerous
and appears at first like more black
sjiecks, smaller than the smallest pin’s
head.
The sky rr.ay be blue and cloudless
when suddenly the am commences tak
ing in Its sails, or. rather, gathering In
Its net, with neatness and dispatch,
cramming the whole of the material
Into Its diminutive body entirely out of
sight. A few minutes completes the
job. and the spider takes up Its posi
tion on the under surface of one of the
great leaves to be lulled by the gentle
swaying and sheltered while the storm
rages. It Is for this that the am lias
prepared, and never Is it mistaken.
When the web is taken In, rain will
certainly fall within an hour.
The moment the am is touched It
feigns death and lets Itself drop, show
ing no sign of life until again placed
upon a leaf or on the ground. Many a
one has lain in the palm of the writer’s
hand inert, all Its legs drawn close to
Its body, while It was examined at
leisure, even being picked up In the
fingers without Its manifesting uuy
life.
A DOMESTIC COMEDY.
A QUESTION OF TEETH
Did the Immortal Georise Wear
■ iflclul or \*tural (Inrat
Ar-
“George Washington's false teeth,
which were supposed to have been
made of ivory, ar«* giving a certain
class of freak historians alsiut as much
trouble as they must have given the
venerable patriot who wore them,”
said on«' of the professors of the
Smithsonian institution to a reporter
recently.
"Many time» a year for several years
this Institution has been called upon to
produce these mysterious teeth for the
inspection of persons who insist that
they are here.
"Our matter of fact answer to these
Inquiries that Washington had no false
teeth, or at least If he did, that they
are not in the possession of the mu
seuui, seems only to stimulate the In
quiring mind to protest our statement.
They proceed to give us authentic ac
counts of these teeth and always con
clude with expressing the belief that
they must be In the museum some
where.
"Where or how the idea that Wash
ington had false teeth originated Is an
unsolved mystery. That It Is firmly be
lieved by many is certainly a fact.
There seems to be no authentic record
of the Father of IBs Country possess
ing ivory teeth, aud by a study of the
bust we have of him, which was made
but a few years before his death, there
is no indication of an Indentation along
flic line of tlie gums such as can lie
noticed in p< rsons who have had their
teeth drawn, even though they wear
artificial ones. However, we will con
tinue to answer tin* same question In
the same way probably many times In
the future.”
According to some biographers
Washington lost his teeth during his
service as commander in chief of the
Continental army and had a set of
Ivory ones made. These teeth. It is
also stated, gave him much trouble be
cause tiny did nut fit.—Washington
Star.
RAILWAY RUMBLES.
Ireland claims the honor of the first
electric railway In the United King-
dom.
It* is said that the cheapest railway
fans in the world are to be found iu
Hungary.
Denmark lias a government railroad
system of 1.167 miles and 525 miles of
private railroads.
The Servian. Roumanian and Bulga
rian railroads are owned exclusively
BEAUTY SPOTS.
by tlie respective governments.
Travelers on Prussian railways whose
Try lemon Juice for whitening the
baggage, through no fault of their
neck. Apply it with a linen cloth.
After the head lias been shampooed, own. fails to arrive with them can now
whenever possible, give the head a sun have it sent on request free to their
houses
bath.
Tlie difficulty of railway construction
A writer states that oily bands may
be made comfortable and touchable by In some purls of Africa Is Illustrated
wetting them once or twice a day while by the fact that on the Freetown-Mat-
clean with cologne, alcohol or toilet tru line, in Sierra Leone, eleven steel
bridges hail to be built in a distance of
vinegar.
A good circulation is essential to the only thirty kilometers.
A representative of the Paris Temps
growth of the hair as well as to Its col
or and fineness. A frequent, vigorous lias been examining railway stations In
brushing with a stiff brush Is the best Germany, and he declares that those of
Dresden. Cologne, Hanover, Frankfort,
method of obtaining this.
A writer upon tho oouiplexion says Bremen, etc . are far superior to any
the best way to treat freckles, a sure of tlie French except the Parisian.
cure In all but very obstinate eases. Is
I'njInR n Creditor.
to touch them night and morning with
Like many another famous man both
a camel’s hair brush after dipping it In
before Ills time and since. Talleyrand
lemou julci.
For a gruasy skin nothing is better exhibited, at least in early life, a great
than the combination of an ounce of reluctance to settling with his credit
dried rose leaves, half a pint of white ors. When lie was appointed bishop of
wine vinegai* and half a pint of rose Antnn by Loafs XVL, he considered a
water. Let the vinegar stand on the line new coach to be necessary to the
rose leaves for a week, then add the proper maintenance of the dignity of
rosewater. Use a tablespoonful In a that office. Accordingly a coach was
ordered mid delivered, bat not paid for.
cup of distilled water.
Some time after, as the newly appoint
ed bishop wns about to enter Ills coach,
A Geological Fallacy.
Probably the most wild and unjusti lie noticed a strange man standing near
fiable of all the crude beliefs respect who bowed continually until the coach
ing geological resources is that which was driven away. This occurred for
holds to the conviction that by going several days until at length Talley
deep enough the drill Is sure to find rand. addressing tlie stranger, said:
“Well, my good man. who are you?”
semething of value, no matter nt what
“I am your coachmaker, my lord,”
point the work of boring Is commenced.
There are numerous wise persons In replied the stranger.
"Ah." -aid Talleyrand, "you are my
every community, estimable, Influen
tial and In the highest degree public coachmnker! And what do you want,
spirited who are convinced that the my coachtnnker?"
“I want to l>e paid, my lord.”
question, for example, of finding coal
“Ah. you are my coachmaker, and
iu their special locality Is simply a
you
want to be paid? You shall be
matter of the depth to which the ex
plorations are carried. Rock oil and paid, my conchmaker.”
"But when, my lord?”
natural gas are recognized as desirable
"Hum.” said Talleyrand, settling
products in every progressive commu
nity, and every such community con himself comfortably among tile cash-
tains persons In other respects Intelli Ions of Ills new coach ami eying ills
gent who are ready to stake their own coachmaker severely, "you are very
fortune and that of their nearest Inquisitive!”
friends on the belief that oil and gas
Sr. la<! Eatlnff Good Sense.
are everywhere underneath the surface
Even men are progressing gastronom-
and that their sources can be tapped
Ically. Sclent ¡tie dietetics lias at last
with tlie drill provided only there is revealed to u» the fact that the woman
sufficient capital to keep up tlie process
who eats salad on a hot day in July,
of drilling long enough.—Mines and August or September is displaying
Minerals.
sound gastronomic sense, says What to
Eat. Tlie long haired dreamer In the
•
Lon«*llnr«n and Health.
A medical journal has of late been restaurant may have been nineteen dif
discoursing on the Indigestion of lone- ferent kinds of a fool upon every other
lines». By this title is meant to be In proposition in life, but lie knew what
dicated the disorders of digestion which to ent on a hot day. The human ani
tye believed to follow tlie practice of mal needs grass or Its equivalent in
taking one's meals In solitary state. summer. With their oil the salads sup
Tlie topic Is by no means an uninter ply everything a man physically needs
esting one. Thousands of men and wo In hot weather. All the civilized races
men living alone are compelled to take of the world are salad eaters,but Amer
their meals for the most part without icans eat less than do any other people.
company. Week In and week °t’t they It Is not a sign of mental decay or mor
feed themselves without a soul to talk al degeneracy for s man to eat salad: It
to, and the medical journal devotes Its is gastronomic sense.
energies to showing that tlie practice
Harpera Ferry.
is not one that Is likely to be conducive
Harpers Ferry was named after
to dig st Ion. to proper liodlly nourish
ment i r to health. The solitnry man Robert Harper, an architect and mill
soon tires of merely eating, nnd. If be Is builder. Isirn In 1703 In the town o'
not d a literary turn of mind, his tend Oxford. England. He came to A me;
ency i- to hurry through his meals to lea In 1735 with bls brother Joseph
es<-a; ■ from his loneliness Into the so and located In Philadelphia, where fol
cle- ei Ips fellow men. Herein, It Is a time ho prospered but. falling later,
concluded to Join the Friends of Ixm
hi I.: I ■ s a danger to health.
doun county. V.-i En route to bls new
I)i«<'overy of C or I In Wale».
home he came upon the gap In the
During the reign of Henry VIII. Blue Ridge mountains, where he made
many attempts were made to discover his borne.
coni In north Wales, nnd a Shrewsbury
Ip Illa Aleev».
man. named Richard Gardner, wns the
At the battle of Otudtirtnan n soldier
only person who succeeded. The old
♦«■longing to a Scotch regiment was
records read: “He attemptyd and put
nenrly killed by a bullet which struck
Into proofs to fynde out coles about the
the ground just In front of him while
town (Shrewsbury) in soondry placys.
be tens tiring in a reclining position.
and In one place especlall callyd Ema-
On rising to move a few feet forward,
tine Hn^e. hnrd by the sayd towne. be
something ■ um» down Ills sleeve It
found by bls great dyllgence and tW'ball wax tl« bullet
How It got up his
great store of see cole, the which Is
sleeve without Inflicting damage can
lyke W> come mu<\ commodltie bothe
only be a< < onntad for by tist fact that
to the riche nnd poor* that be Is Hot*
It must have Iw-en spent by the time it
only worthy >f comrnendacou and
struck the ground n Tout of him and
mayntennnee, but also to be bad a re- the course <>f Its flight Up bis sleeve
tu bra nee for ever.”—Cardiff X’est-
was its last billet
era M " ’. •
THE VARIER RESULTS OF REARRANG
ING THE FURNITURE.
*£»».
the
niank'»
Manin
Apprsrauc*
For
CliBBBlBB
the
ut
Ituum»
THE STIRRUP CUP
My short
ha|M >
is doss;
The I tiiit an«i
m.ht romss os
▲nJ at
dour the |ale boras atai
To carry me to unknown lands.
His whinny thrill, Li» pawing hoof,
S un«l drugd’
a F**t’ > ring »torn
And I giuat leak* this > Itering roof
And joys of life au aoft and warm.
Brought Trouble lu the Mule Con
tingent and Sorrow
lu lleraelt.
“Do yos change th* position of t'je
furniture when you cleau a roon ?'"
Inquired housewife No. 1 of a frieu I lb
the course of a heart to bear« calk.
"Do I? Wil). Jis. indeed! I don't
feel as If the room is cleaned unless I
change the furniture a little bit. Do
you ?”
"Well. I usually change the orna
metits around nnd so forth, but in the
tprlug and fall I like to change every
thing In a room—completely alter the
whole appearance of It. Then I fancy
the things are all new. and they seem
to look prettier somehow. But. do you
know, my husband doesn't like It nt
all.'”
“Neither does mine! Isn't that slugu
lar? Men are so peculiar!”
"Yes, indeed they are!”
So many housekeepers share the
views of tlwse two that a story with
a moral will not be out of place.
It was th, other night only that Mr.
Blank went unsuspiciously up stairs to
bed at au unusually early hour, leaving
bls wife rending lu the sitting room
11c had a headache and carried a gob
let of water in his right hand. Fear
lessly advancing into the dark bed
room Mr. Blank suddenly felt both legs
violently cut from under him. He
clutched wildly at the air nnd said
several things of an exclamatory na
turc. but there was nothing to save
him. He weut dowu.
"Good gracious, Henry!" ejaculated
Mrs. Blank, hurrying to the scene of
disaster. "What Js the matter?
Where are you? Why don't you light
the gas?' Suiting the action to tlie
word, sbe beheld her husband sprawl
Ing across the bed: the glass he had
carried ba«. discharged its contents
across the pillowshams aud shivered on
the floor.
Mr. Blank did the talking for the
next ten minutes. He said that of ail
the blankety blank folly of which the
mind could conceive this of changing
furniture around was the worst. He
said it was a pretty thing for a man to
walk into his own room and have to
fall over things in tlie dark. He said
be wouldn’t stand it; tlie furniture
must be replaced where ft formerly
stood.
"I shan't do anything of the kind,”
replied Mrs. Blank. “It looks very
much nicer wuere it Is. Why don’t
you feel where you are going when you
get into a dark room?”
“S'pose you’d like me to crawl in on
all fours!” snarled Mr. Blank. "1
couldn’t feel where the bed wns unless
I happened to touch the footboard. I
thought I could walk clear over to the
bureau. I tell you it’s a confounded
crank you have on this subject. Some
day you’ll precipitate a serious acci
dent.”
“If any one precipitates, it’ll be you.
I should think.” retorted Mrs. Blank
icily. And the furniture remained
where It was.
It was the next evening that Master
Blank undertook to carry a pile of
schoolbooks from the dining room to
the sitting room. He had a bottle of
Ink in Ills hand, and be thought he
knew exactly where the center table
was. In the course of his peregrina
tions in search of it, however, be came
Into violent collision with the glass
door of the bookcase, which be broke.
There were also Inky traces discernible
on the carpet when Mrs. Blank came
In. Tills tin« there was some balm for
her feelings. She could spank Master
Blank and did it with the best will In
the world.
Her own downfall was not long In
coming, however, although for a few
days only minor inconveniences were
met with, such as the abrasion of an
kies against chair rockers and slight
bruises received by means of sudden
contact with unforeseen obstacles. Last
evening Mrs. Blank undertook to trans
fer the cage of her pet parrot from the
window where It spends the day to the
snug corner where It passes the night.
Sbe did not trouble to light the gas. and
by some unaccountable mental lapse
she bad forgotten the precise point at
which a tabouret, on which stood a jar
diniere, was stationed. She charged
Into the tabouret with considerable
force, was overbalanced by the weight
of the cage in her arms and took a
header with a resounding crash. The
parrot shrieked, nnd, unable to distin
guish friend from foe. Inflicted n severe
bite on her mistress’ finger. Mr. Blank
came in hurriedly, picked up bls wife
and assisted In making an inventory of
sundry contusions. Then they lifted
the parrot cage, badly bent, and the
jardiniere with a piece chipped out of
It and the tabouret somewhat scratch
ed, and then Mr. Blank observed quiet
ly:
“I have just one thing to ask you.
Mrs. Blank. Was I right?’
"No, yott were not!” retorted Mrs.
Blank savagely. "Serious accident?
What's serious about this. I should like
to know? For goodness' snke, Henry.
Jon’t «»and there trying to look like a
martyr! If you must have the furni
ture moved back, 1'11 move It!” And
•be did.—Philadelphia Record.
Preoccupation.
Tender and warm the joys of life;
Good fritrxta, th« faithful and the true;
My rosy children and my wife.
So sweet to kiss, so fair to view.
So sweet to kisa» go fair to view;
The night comes on, the lights burn blua.
And at my door tl. • pale h rse stands
To b«ar me forth to unknown lamia.
—John Hay.
A NOVEL HOTEL BILL.
The Mull to Whom It Waa Presented
t onld Xot t iitlerntnnd II.
"Talking nlioiit bookkeeping, there
use«l to I«' u man In Yankton whose
system of bookkeeping accounts was
wonderfully efficient. II«' kept a hotel,
nnd lie could neither rea«l nor write.
He did not know how to spell Ills own
name, but he did a thriving business
and collected ■ every dollar of his ac
counts. Once, years ago. when 1 first
efl me to this country. 1 went to his ho
tel nnd stopped there two weeks,”
writes Milt Btlnben.
"When I left, he presented me with a
statenfl*nt of what L owed him. nnd it
was a curiosity. He bad copied It from
Ills ledger. At the tup of the sln*et
there wns a rude picture of a soldier
on tlie march nnd after It three straight
marks. Then there was a seem* show
ing a man at table eating. Then ap-
peare«) a bed with a man in it. In the
amount cvlumu'there was a picture of
a doll and after it the two letters "RS.”
After the picture of a man eating there
were, forty-two marks; after tlie view
of the man in the Ited. fourteen marks.
I looked at tlie account, then at tlie
proprietor, and told him it would take
me a week to answer that conundrum.
"I was completely stumped, nnd when
that hotel man deciphered the amount
for me it was tills: The picture of the
soldier walking meant march, nnd the
three mark» supplied tin* date. March
3. wlie.n I begqu. botirdlng. The man
a.t tlie table witli forty-two marks lift««'
ft indicated that I had eaten fort.v-two
meals. The man in bed witli fourteen
marks showed that I had slept iu the
iiouse fourteen nights. Tlie doll witli
the 'RS' after it meant 'dollars,' and
in the figure columns appeared the ti r-
ures 14, which was the amount 1 ow 1
him. And it was a true bill.”—Yank
ton Pres».
A Ptrilan
tlnrber.
A Persian barber works in a style
very dlffelvnt from Hint in vogue In
tills country.
A typical shop is a
squari* room, witli one side open to tlie
street. In the center is tl tiny lied of
flowers sunk in the floor, from tlie
middle of which rises an octngonal
stone column about three feet high.
The capital of the column forms a
receptacle for the water In which the
barber dips his hand as lie shaves I s
customer's scalp. In Persia they .o
not lat|ier. The shop.Is very clean. In
two recesses stand four vases filled
with flowers and the Implements of the
barber's art—scissors, razors, lancets,
hand mirrors, large pinchers to extract
teeth, branding irons to cauterize tlie
arteries in amputating limbs, strong
combs, but not a hairbrush, for that
implement is never used by Persians.
From the barber’s girdle bang a
round copper water bottle, his strop,
and a pouch to hold his instruments.
In ills bosom is a small mirror, tlie
presentation of which to his customers
Is a sign that tlie jolt Is finished and
(lint tlie burlier waits for Ills pay. Tlie
barber slimes tlie heads of ills custom
ers, dyes their liearils. pulls their teeth,
blisters and bleeds them when ailing,
sets their broken bones and shampoos
tin !r bodies.— Exchange.
Strnntfc l.niitr of Memory.
Cases of forgetfulness on matters of
Interest are on record.
While Dr.
Priestley was preparing his work en
titled "Harmony of the Gospels" lie
had taken great pains to Inform him
self on a subject which bad been under
discussion relative to tlie Jewish Pass-
over. lie w ote out the result of bls
researches and laid tlie paper away.
His attention and time being taken
witli something else, some little time
elapsed before the subject occurred to
Ills mind again. Then tlie same time
and pains were given to tlie aubject
that hail been given to It before, and
tlie results were again put on paper
and laid aside. So completely had he
forgotten that lie had copied the same
paragraphs and reflections liefore that
it was only when he had found tlie
papers on which lie had trairscrilied
tliein that It was recalled to bis recol
lection. This same author had fre
quently rend his own published writ
ings and did not recognize them.
Held
Fltitnctte.
When Dom Pedro, then emperor of
Brazil, was entertained at the White
House, lie had been told by a confused
oenator that It would I m * expected that
hi*. Hit* emperor, should be tlie Inst of
the guests to dcpiirt.
Tlie president’« wife,however. Inform
ed her other guests that they would lie
expected to follow, not precede, the
royal party in leaving tlie bouse.
'Die result wns Hint no one flared io
go for fear of it breach of etlqiiette.
But at 3 o'clock In-the morning a tired
soman pretended Illness, and tlie dead
lot k was broken
Great is etiquette, but common aense
Is sometimes allowable.
“Why do you «peak so slightingly
of that eminent scientist?’
"1 didn't mean to speak slightingly
of him,” answered the young man with
A < nrlon« llnrnmrtrr.
the striped shirt front, “but It does
A curious barometer Is said to be
seem peculiar to me that a man who
knows Just when the next comet will used by the remnant of the Araiicnniau
arrive and ust how far It Is to tin* race which Inhabits the southernmost
moon should be so utterly Ignorant province of Chile. It consists of the
when It comis to a question of whi n castoff shell of a crab’. The dead shell
It’s time ft dinner or what train to Is white In fair, dry weather,- but tlie
take to get n the n-mr**st town.”—Bo» approach of a moist atmosphere Is Indi
cated by the appearance of small red
ton Travelei
■pots. As the moisture In the air In
creases tlie shell becomes entirely red
Th* Chans» In the Tenderfoot.
“This Is a remarkably healthy ell and remains so throughout the rainy
season.
mate, they say.” said the easterner.
"You’re right tbar.” said Arizona Al
Ito« and Wolf.
“F"r Instance, not long ago a tenderfoot
There has been some dispute «V t0
with a weak chest an' a pale face drop the descent of the dog—whether It 1«
ped Inter the Miners’ Delight, called me an improved progeny of the wolf or a
a liar an’ o’ course I had to clean up’ distinct variety. That It Is a different
'Bout two mouths after a big sunburnt species Is proved by the fact that the
cowboy stopped ia> on the street, wiped dog and the wolf will mate ami pro
the earth up with me an' slammed me duce offspring Nevertbelcsa It Is prob
op In a tree to recuperate Same fel able that tlie dog Is merely descended
ler. Best climate In the world, pard.” from the tuime original stock with tlie
—Indianapolis Sun.
•
Wolf.
o
O
o