beeouie tired «f a laie of woe. 1 bey
don't want to hear aimut your family
artairs, particularly it.they are un
pleasant, fur they have trials aud trib
ulations of their own. Then, again,
why not look pleasant ? Life at beet
is short, and the milestones, when oue
reaches my time of life, pass sw iftly,
ami we are on the brink of the other
world before we realize that our raffr is
almost run. f don’t want people, after
I have rt*|smded to the last summons,
to say, ‘1’ tn glad she has gone, for she
reminded me of a walking tomiutone.’
8o forlorn ami unhappy that my very
presence casts a dani|>er over tlie ha|>-
piness of my friends. It is not neces
sary for any one to know of my aches
and pains, mental or physical, and 1
long ago learned to keep unpleasant
things, particularly if they applied to
myself, hidden in my heart. The sub
conscious regions reveal them to me
every now and then, but no one is the
wiser. 1 am better for it and so are
my friends. Just keep in mind it
might lie worse, and It will help you
over many of the rough places in your
journey through life.”
FACTS IN FEW LINES
Conqtaint'vffly little milk 1» con
sumed lu southern cities.
“‘it might be worse!’ That little
A trooper's sword measures thirty-
three inches, w hili’ u lance is nine feet sentence is my panacea for all the trials
and tribulations of my life, Folly,”
long.
Chicago did not get a place on the said a little friend the other day, and
map until 1840, when Its population when 1 looked at the forlorn, worn-
was 4,470.
out little woman, I wondered how it
In the early days of railroading could ever have been much worse for
bogses were used to help the locoiuo- tier. Such a patient, pathetic face,
ti vee on up grades.
with her big brown, mournful eyes aje
The total number of all known varie
|>ealiiig
to you ill every glauce. She
ties of postage stamps used by all the
governments of the world up to date Is talked so lio|>efully of w hat the future
might hold iu atonement for all her
19,242.
A London curio dealer has In bls sufferings ill the past, hut you could
window a placard reading, "Several read volumes in her eyes. They told
bits of armor for sale, suitable for mo the pathetic story unknown to her,
torists.”
ami you wondered how the frail Issly
There are more railway tunnels, via could stand up under the burden. Her
ducts and railroad bridges In Switzer mother died when she was but ten
land than In any other country In the years old ami a^de|emother soon came
old world.
into the household, and from that on
Sheerness, England, though an im she was a burden-bearer. Little step
portant naval station and a town of
over 15,000 Inhabitants, does not pos sisters and -brothers came into the
home, and it ended lien school-days.
sess a single telephone.
In answer to a query front Millie B.,
Owing to the rapid growth of the She was needed to act as nurse girl asking for a formula for a good skin
United States the English language Is until she was round-shouldered and food, I am giving one which a well-
now spoken by more persons than use almost deformed. She was crowded known lauuty doctor vouches for and
any other civilized tongue.
out ns the step-sisters grew older until which she has used satisfactorily for
The percentage of Jews engaged in she was nothing but the kitchen years: White wax, 1 ounce ; sperma
trades aud doing manual labor for a drudge and maid of all work. After a
living is greater in New York than In long spell of sickness she was sent to ceti, 1 ounce ; lanolin, 2 ounces; cocoa-
nut oil, 2 ounces; oil of sweet almonds,
any other city In the world.
the country to reeu|>erate. There she
In defense to a charge of selling milk met a young farmer, who fell hi love 4 ounces; tincture of benzoin, 30 dro|w.
Melt tlie first five ingredients together.
wholly devoid of fat an English cow
keeper said that bls cows had been eat with the forlorn girl, ami she married Take oil' the fire and beat until nearly
ing cabbages, but tlie defeuse availed him ami settled down to a quiet life on cold, adding little by litttie the ben
tiie furm. Then came the fl rat happy zoin, and lastly two ounces of orange
him not.
A cat which had been driven Into a days of her young life. Three little Hower water. Fill your little jars and
shade tree by the dogs at Nashua, children came to brighten their home, put it away, for this preparation will
N. II., was rescued tlie other day after and for a time they pros|>ered. Then keep indefinitely. All who have tried
It had remained In this position for death entered and took tlie oldest
it recommend it as one of the best of
three whole days.
child, after weeks of intense suttering. creams and skin foods.
Sark, one of the Channel Islands, has “When I saw that little form lowered
a prison that contains four ceils. But to its last resting place, I thought my
AN INDIAN LEGEND.
In the last live years It has had only cup of sorrow was brimming over and
three occupants. Sark has a popula
that there was nothing to live for. I The Way Nan-ab-bejii Made the New
tion of about 000.
Earth After the Flood.
While chasing a mouse the other day was wrong, l’olly. I forgot my other
“I will tell you the story of Nan-ab-
blessings,
ami
that
God
had
lieen
go.si
Mme. Delatour of Paris broke through
beju. Ile Is the man who made the
the floor of her room nnd found In the to me and had left my husband and new earth after the big water came
holo a brass box containing gold coins two tables, and I grieved night and and covered it.
of the value of $1,000.
day for my child who had been taken
“Big waters came, and there was
Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, a famous away. His death was the beginning nothing anywhere except water and
London hostelry, among whose cus of our troubles. My huslamd went the sky and the sun and the stars,”
tomers In bygone days were Gold al>out iiis work a gloomy, despondent said the old Chippewa. “Nan-ab-beju
smith, Johnston, Boswell, Thackeray man. and I forgot to cheer ami help made a great raft nnd put on It some
nnd Dickens, Is to come into the mar brighten his ami the other children’s relic of everything that had l>een on
tlie earth specimens of each kind of
ket.
lives ill my own selfish grief. The
Australia has found a new use for crops were a failure, for the army animals, of all the trees, shrubs, plants,
tlowers, birds, rocks, and one man and
discarded tram cars. Sydney ladles
worms visited tlie country and our one woman. In short, lie did not lenve
have them painted green and white,
hang them with baskets of flowers, home happened to tie in their path, anything except sand. He forgot to
train Vreenvrs over the roof and then ami not a blade of grass was left where save some sand, and yet be could not
do anything without ft. He sailed out
An automobile transportation serv bountiful crops in grain, vegetables fur Into the flood and made a little
ice has been recently established In the ami lierries hail stood a few hours l>e- island, very, vary s nail. Then he found
Kongo Free State. Coal Is scarce and fore. The fruit trees were stripped of lie had no sand. He made a very big
petroleum or gasolino Impossible, and their leaves and fruit, and our prosper line, longer than hundreds of deer
it was found necessary to use wood ous and fertile little farm Itsiked like a skins cut up into ribbons and tied to
for fuel. Tlie machine makes twelve cyclone had struck it. It was a pic gether, and he took a muskrat off the
miles an hour and has the capacity of a ture of desolation.
raft and tied the Hue to It and threw
ton.
It Into the water. The frightened rat
utilize them as afternoon tea rooms.
dove down and down, ami when there
We
mortgaged
the
farm
to
get
A Somersworth (N. II.) woman re
was no longer any pulling at the line
cently found in the family Bible $15 money to start in anew after the army Nan-ab-beju knew the rat was at the
In bills which, Judging from the dates worms had taken everything. Heaven tsittom of the sea. Then he la-gati to
of the bills, must have been concealed pity any one who is coni|>elled to place pull the line up. At the end of It came
in the book about a century. They a mortgage oil their home ; nine times the poor muskrat, stone dead.drowned.
were among tho first paper Issues of out of ten they lose it. They had bet But Nan-ab-beju saw that the little
the United States government
ter make tlie people a present of it in black paws of the animal were clench
One of the funniest consequences of the beginning. We could not even ed as If there was something In their
young Alfonso's visit to England la pay the interest, and it was not long palms and that the rat held tight bold
the birth of tho "hidalgo" hat, a tnodl- until we were compelled to give up the of even after death. The little paws
were forced open, and In them were
fled Spanish turban with which modish
home we loved ami had worked so hard found half a dozen grains of sand. One
Englishmen are beginning to deck
their heads, Although distinctly more for. Willi stiearning eyes we pucked grain would have been enough for the
suitable for winter, It makes a gallant our household etlects into our wagon great Nan-ab-beju.
"Nan-ab-beju blew his breath on the
and drove to a little place we had
appearance.
muskrat, and its life came back to it.
Torrey and Alexander admit that rented, and commenced life anew. Then he mixed the sand in the little
their revival campaign In London was What a hard struggle we had ! Then, island that he had made
and blew on
a failure, nnd Dr. Torrey remarked In just as we liegan to see our way clear, that also. As he blew
and blew it
a recent nddress there, “I suppose it the hardest blow of all came. 1 had swelled nud swelled until it was so big
would be safe to say that during the driven over to a neighbor’s ranch, a that Nan-ab-beju could not see the
Inst year there have not been five per- couple of miles away to get my hus
sides or end of It in any direction.
sons definitely converted in any one
band, who had been assisting him in Nan-ab-beju was not quite certain
church or chapel lu Loudon."
whether be had made It as big as the
New York alone has 024 libraries. harvesting his grain. On our return old earth before the big water came,
we
found
our
house
in
flames.
With
a
with 0,079,Sti3 volumes; Massachusetts,
ne had to make It as big as it had
G24 libraries, with 7,010,904 volumes; ery I shall never forget, my husband been—so big, in fact, that no man or
Pennsylvania, 401 libraries, with 4,580,- sprang out of the wagon and rushed creature could find the end of It. He
812 volumes. These three states have into the burning house to rescue tlie had plenty of animals that could travel
about 30 per cent of the libraries and children. The next moment the roof over the earth aud find out how big It
40 tier cent of the number of volumes fell in. That was tlie last I ever saw was. so he decided to take two huge
reported for the whole United States.
of my husband and babies. The buffaloes off the raft and send them tc
Russia has probably the most curious neighbors, who Saw the flames for see whether there was any end to what
tax In tlie world. It Is called the
miles around, came hurrying to my he had made. The buffaloes ran off
“amusement tax” and was Instituted a
assistance,
but it waa Um late. Only with all speed, and Nan-ab-beju sat
year ago to found an Institution for
the
charred
bodies of those who had down and waited. In a few days the
the poor tinder file title of the "Em
buffaloes came back and said they bad
press Marie Foundation.” The tax Is las’ll dearer than life to me were found. found the end of the earth. So Nan-ab-
laid upon every amusement ticket sold, I went into brain fever and no one beju blew nud blew and blew on the
and the managers Increase the price thought I would live. But my time ground again, and It swelled so fast
accordingly.
had not come—my work was not fin that you coukl see It broadening. Wheu
A block of granite weighing over ished here, and slowly I came back he had blowu until be was tired be
800,000 pounds, flat on top and with into life and health. How I regretted took a crow off the raft and sent It tc
clean breaks on two sides, has been that my summons had not come while see If It could find the end of the
found near Woodbury, Vt Three bun
1 waa so ill, so that I could have jollied earth. The crow was gone a very long
dred feet north la seen the ledge from
my
loved ones. How bitter I was for time, but at last It came sailing back
which tlie block broko away. The two
on the wind and said It had flown till It
are on about the same level, but be- a time, and how black wierything was tired out and there was no sign of
tween them rises a barrier of granite looked to nte. Then the thought that any end to the earth.
fifteen feet high. Local geologists are has helped me over so many thorny
"Nan-ab-beju, to make sure, blew
trying to figure out what natural places came to me me one day—how again and swelled the earth a great
causes brought about the shift In the milch worse it might have been. They deni bigger. Then he untied and un
position of the block.
could have been so badly burned that caged and untrapped all the animals
It has been discovered that tlie Judgo they would have lingered in agony for and drove them from the raft on to the
■has 03 4;-,A :vic>n -uvHk-r the Vennont day*. As it waa their sutlerings were ><.ad uml loft ihem free to roam where
liquor law and that be Is bound to sen
they might He took all the trees,
tence a convicted seller for a cert tin over in a few minutes and they were plants, bushes and shrubs and planted
at
rest.
I,
alone,
was
left
to
l>ear
the
length of time for each offense. Wil
them around, and be blew the grass
liam Caulstone wns recently convicted bqrden of sorrow, and I waa thankful out of tils hands as hard as he could
on twenty-five counts iu* Bennington liiai lily dear ones did not nave to live blow it, so that It scattered all over
county, and It was figured that be was through the agony that was my bitter Next he let loose all th* birds and bee
tn a fair way to get a sentence of sixty- imrtion. How ho|>eiess and how black tles and bugs and snakes and toads
one yenrs. When he discovered this it all seemed for a time, and yet, it and butterflies, and finally be Invited
fact he -took "leg ball' I” and left hl* might have lieen worse. Von will find the man aud woman, both Cblppewsys,
bondsmen to settle with the law.
to go ashore nml make the naw earth
Joseph W. Wilson of Springfield, it so every time, Polly, if you will only- their huntiug grouud. And Nan-ab
Mass., has a whip which Is a work of stop and think about it; things cau be beju's task was done.”—St. Nicholas.
art. It was the first whip made by worse, and if you )<s>k almut you, you
Surf Bathing; Abroad.
Clinton Canuon of Wakefield after he will see the truth of this every day.
Unlike Americana. Englishmen pre
bad finished his apprenticeship. It Is My life lias never been a flowery or a
an ordinary coach whip of one piece of very happy one, except for the few fer to have their surf bath before
whalebone, with a piece of Ivory set years of my married life when we were breakfast. They slip out of their
moms and into the surf as a sort of
In the butt. The whole butt Is studded
with Ivory to make It have the appear all together. We can always And duty and prefer a buff bath, or oue
ance of blackthorn. The whip waa some one else worse oil' than ourselves, without the incumbrance of a bathing
never used, but has been In the pos if we will only lake the trouble to fook suit, if they can be permitted to enjoy
session of the Cannon family since It around. I am going to keep faith and It. With them the bath, even in the
was made in IS42.
li<q>e alive in my heart, and look ou breakers. Is more of a duty than a pas
the bright side, for I have seen enough time, as it Is with the French and
frnuhrd.
Americans. Neither do the people of
"Really—er" - stammered the gissip of the shadows and depths of sorrow. continental Europe enjoy the pleasure*
Do
the
liest
you
can
and
live
up
to
the
who bad bee » caught red hatch'd, "I’m
of the surf with the same avidity as
afraid y >u oveftieard what I ■ aid iibfot Golden Itule. It is a good religion to ranrks the surWnier day along the
you. Perhupf»—er -1 wns n bit too se live up to, atid it is comforting and American const. There Is more or less
vere" —
consoling.
of custom or fashion to dictate to the
“Oh, no,” replied the other woman.
temporary dwellers along the seashore
"Yon weren't nearly so severe as yon
I have noticed, too, that it will not
would have Irccn if you knew what I do to air your disappointments, or
He that will keep a monkey should
think of yeti “
M br®kg>- Selden.
carry your troubles to others. People pay for the
9
*
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
.
Fteusv.
1 here Is < youug woman up *1 the
lu Wall street.
Broux who has a
He calls three times each week and
vow s she Is the ealy g|ri
ever even
looks at. She belief.* him, or, rather,
did t>elleve him antll the other day,
'■when she called hltu up on the phone.
"I'll disguise my voice,” she *g
gled as she picked up the retxiver,
“and jolly the dear boy along."
There was a buzzing over the wtr%
aud the next minute »he heard his fa
miliar voice at the other Bid.
“Hello! Is that you, George?” she
asked in a different voice.
And George responded:
“Why, yes, you Uttle darling, of
course It's me. What do you say to
going over to the leach for supper this
eveuii.g? Yea, 1 got your note. Say,
Gruce"—
There was a sharp click, and the
voice was interrupted. The young wo
man In the Broux had dropped the re
ceiver and turned pale. Her name
was Katharine.—New York Globe.
Hl* llemnrkable Memory.
"Excuse me,” said tlie absentminded
professor, "ti*it haven't we met before?
Y’our face Is strangely familiar.”
"Yes,” answered the young lady,
“our hostess introduced us just before
dinner.”
"All, yes,” rejoined the professor. "1
was positive I bud seen you some
where. I never forget a face."—De
troit Tribune.
Open to an Engagement.
“Little boy,” said the teacher of the
class, “do you Intend to come to Sun-
day school regularly?”
“I guess so, ma’am," answered the
urchin with the cropped head and the
soiled face, with some hesitation, “Is
dere anything lu It 'sides de plctur’
cards and de. picnic?”—Chicago Trib-
Tte* UrMl Frists Dttsss Ws* Tsll vl
Misstelel ss4 Cteffrlcs.
“Wild animals have a great many
teas ».of shuwlug their contempt fot
huiuaukiud,” said aB artist who has
made a specialty of modeling auiuiaia.
“Every oue has an idea that ele-
pliants beeimie tame and even fund of
piaiple, but this ts altogether wrong.
They are easily trained, but are never
tamed. They are docile Just so long ffs
the keejier has his goad lu bls baud or
the memory of a burulug endures. 1
had proof of this oue day while model
lug oue of the elephant* lu a big ani
mal show. I was sitting lu his stall,
with my molding staud, uot knowing
that ou certain days he was giveu au
extra allowance of chain. Suddenly be
flung his trunk around with such force
that It smashed the stand to bits and
seut me a dozeu feet outside the stall.
"He never forgot his failure to finish
me, and soon afterward he expressed
his dislike lu a more vulgar If less dan
gerous manner. As I worked I beard
him make a loud sucking noise, but
suspected nothing At last when he
bad tils mouth quite full of saliva he
blew It toward me.
“This Is not ouly a trick of elephants,
but of other anlmuls as well, as I have
learned to my sorrow. Camels have
the same habit, and while working
near a camel one day 1 was treated to
a shower of finely ehewed cud.”
This sculptor and other artists agree
thnt the eat animals have a different
mode of attack. There seems less of
spite and more of real hate lu their
method. Sculptors usually place their
modeling stands as close to the bars as
possible. This same one was once
working close to a tiger's cage, with
the beast inside lying very quiet, ap
parently asleep. Without even raising
bls eyeballs the big cut struck be
tween tlie bars with his heavy forepaw,
splintering the stand and sending the
clay lm wads on the floor. The artist,
warned by a sixth sense developed by
those who are much about animals,
bad Jumped back Just In time to ea-
cape.—New York Herald.
No prtma douua was ever more de
lightfully capricious, more full of mis
chief, than the fatuous Mme Mallbran.
At the rehearsals of "Romeo sud Ju
liet" she could never mske up ber
uilud where she wss to “die" st night.
It wras important fur Romeo to know,
but all be could get was “not sure."
"don't kuow,” "can't tell,' or “it will
be Just as It happens, according to uiy
humor, sometlmea lu oue place, some
Oinee in another." On one occasion
she chose to "die" close to the foot
lights, her companion, of course, being
compelled to “die" beside ber, aud
thus, when the curtain fell, a couple of
footmen bad to carry the pair off, one
at a time, to the intense amusement of
the audience
John Templeton, the fine old Scottish
tenor, was probably never so miser
able aa when be was cast to slug with
Mallbran
Very often she was dis
pleased with his performance, and oue
evening she whispered to him, "You
are not acting properly; make love to
me better,” to which, so It ts said,
Templeton innocently replied, "Dou't
you know I am a married man?" Evi
dently the lady did uot think there
was anything nerlous In the elrcutu
stance, for not long afterward, whet)
in “Somnámbula” she was ou her
knees to Templeton as Elvluo, she suc
ceeded tn making the tenor scream
with suppressed laughter when be
should have been singing by tickling
him vigorously under the arms.
GIOTTO, THE ARTIST.
The Circle He Drew From Which
Grew a Famon* Thrace.
blotto was a famous painter, sculp
tor and architect of the latter part of
the thirteenth century. He was a son
of a poor shepherd, but the attention
of the great master, Clmabue, having
been attracted to the boy by a draw
ing the lad had made on a fragment of
slate, the young artist's fame spread
rapidly throughout southern Europe.
In those days It was customary for
the jiopes to send for the noted men
of their realm, more for the purpose of
gratifying their desires to see such
celebrities than anything else. Giotto
wns no exception to the rule. No
sooner had the young Tuscan become
famous than Pope Boniface VIII. in
vited him to Florence. When young
Giotto arrived at the gates of the
pope's private grounds, according to
the account, the guard halted him and
Inquired concerning his mission.
The artist made the matter plain, but
the guard was not satisfied with the
explanation, frequently interrupting
Giotto’s explanatory remarks with, "I
know ho must t>e a much larger and
distinguished looking person than your
self.” and "Giotto, too, is a famous
painter. By your walk I would take
you to be a shepherd.” Finally, upon
demanding evidence of the artist's
skill, the latter stooped and traced 4
perfect O hi the dust of the path with
his finger. Any one who has ever at
tempted the feat of drawing n perfect
circle "offhand" well knows how diffi
cult It Is.
It is needless to add that the artist
was forthwith ushered Into the pres
ence of the supreme pontiff, and that
since that time "Rounder than Giotto’s
O" has been a favorite hyperbole to In
dlcate "impossible perfection.”
“Is it true that you are engaged to
that young widow?'
"Not at tlie present writing. Wo
were engaged, but I broke It off.”
"Aren't you afraid she will bike it to
heart?”
"No, but I’m afraid she will take it
to court.”
An Exception.
“I don't seem to be able to make you
understand.” said the professor of
physics, "that heat always ascends
and cold descends.”
"Well.” replied the bright boy, "how
is It when I get tn}’ feet cold and wet
the cold always settles In my bead?”—
New York Life.
A Poor Thrower,
“She was just crazy to marry him,
although she knew be didn't really
love her, and now see the result He
treats her with contempt.”
"That’s Just a woman's bad alm.
She threw herself at his bead and
landed at his feet.” — Philadelphia
Press.
said Meandering Mike, “did
about de kind lady up In
dat left a fortune to feed
money wasted,” answered
Pete. “What ails us ain't
It's thirst.” — Washington
Fahrenheit.
“How did tlie Boston girl strike
you?”
"She struck me as being about thir
ty-two."
“Thirty-two years?”
“No; degrees.” — Woman’s Home
Companion.
Too Ope*.
"Do you like an open countenance ou
n person?”
"I thought I did till my mother-in-
law made us a visit.”—Houston Post
Shirring ¡'opnlnr.
Shirring on heavy cords Is a favorite
mentis of trimming simple gowns and
even when used on handsomest cos
tumes Is very effective.
HftrmleM.
Bell—Did that anonymous note wor
ry you?
Nell- Oh, no. It was from Jack. He
always writes them when we have a
falling out—Detroit Free Press.
The Sea Serpewt.
Tales grow In the telling.
We all must agree.
The tall that grows fastest.
It wemeth to me.
Is that of the serpent
That lives In the sea.
—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Otee Good.
“You say he Is a financial wreck
Then why Is’It that he appears so
happy?"
"Well. I guess bls credit's so poor
that he 'can't even borrow trouble.”—
Cleveland Leader.
Before the CereMHtay.
Rural Groom Sue an' I can’t see no
reason why we shouldn’t get along
when we're married. Tlie Magistrate-
Well. I Just marry folks add don't ex
press any opinions New York Press.
I
The Hon. Jacob 8. Galloway, Judge
of the probate court of Shelby county,
ami the Hon. West Laughlin, who suc
ceeds him as Judge of section four of
the circuit court, where divorce eases
are trii-d, were talking of the divorce
evil.
"I am lieginnlng to believe,” said
Judge laiughlin, "that it Is the careless
ness consequent upon ownership of
each other that Is responsible for most
divorces.”
“No, no, my friend,” replied the ex
pert lu these matters. "My experi
ence runs tbrougli many years, ami I
am thoroughly convinced that there
are Just two tilings that break up most
marriages.”
“And they are?” queried Judge
Langhlin.
"And they are,” answered Judge Gal
loway, "woman’s love for dry goods
nnd man's fondness for wet goods." —
Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
Profesttor Wentworth and John J.
SPECIALISM IN LA*
the lolU'Uor and (tee Barrister la
Our
i’a'uvtice.
lu thia country nearly «very, student
admitted lu the bar is under the ini-
pre Mian that there h in him the more
thau possibility of a great trial lawyer
Having read account* of brilliant cross
examinations and successful addresses
to Juries, he has in mind that he is eu
tlrely competent at the outset to try
the most complicated and difficult
cause Unfortunately as to rnauy who
are not qualified for that work It Is
only after very many years and after
loualderaltle exj>erieiicv at the expense
of litigants aud the public. If at all,
that they ascertain that they have uot
the peculiar aptitude necessary to the
successful trial lawyer, lu the uieau
time not ouly have clients suffered, "but
the business of tlie courts bus been re-
tank'd to a very serious extent by the
lack of adaptability on the part of the
practltlouer as well as by lack of ex
¡lerieuce, sluce It Is Impossible that ev
ery man admitted to the bar shall have
tlie opportunity to try a sufficient num
ber of causes to give him the degree of
experience requisite lu order to obtain
the t>est results.
Sooner or later lu the Interest of the
clients aud to save the time and pa
tlence of the courts there must be lu
this country a natural division be
tween the labor of the solicitor and the
duty of the barrister, uot artificial or
couventioual. but oue which shall grow
up from the nature of the case, by
which certain men who are t>est quali
fied for the trial of causes will carry
BITS FROM THE WRITERS. on tbut work to the practical exclusion
of those without special adaptability
The simple life does not need lentils for that class of business. Iu this, as
or cellular clothing. It needs those in every other direction, the specialist
rarer things, gratitude and humility.— must find his place.—Green Bag.
G. K. Chesterton.
Bbe wore far too much rouge last
THE GRAVE OF ELIA.
night and not quite enough clothes.
That Is always a sign of despair In a Holton'* Effort to Find the Tonite of
woman.—“Sebastian Melnioth.”
t'bnrles l.nmb.
Keep your head on your shoulders.
Hutton's "Literary Landmarks of
It's bound to rest on some one else's Loudon” was largely a labor of love
occasionally. Still, keep It mostly on and was tlie result of years of hard
your own —"A Pagan's Love,” by Con work. Mr. Hutton gives tills example
stance Clyde.
of the difficulties that stood in his way:
If you feel that you’ve really got to "Another Sunday afternoon 1 devoted
tell a secret, go somewhere where It's to a pious pilgrimage to the grave of
dark an' you'll be alone. Tbeu keep Charles Lamb at Edmonton. As usual,
your mouth shut.—“The Middle Wall,” nolxsly at Edmonton knew any thing
by Edward Marshall.
The churchyard Is not a small one, uu.l
Not that marriage Is so beautiful, but It Is entirely filled. The sexton and the
it Is necessary a girl should find that gravedigger and a few persons wan
out for herself, so that she can turn ber dering about could give me no Infor
mind peacefully to other things.—"A mation. Most of them bad never heard
Pagan’s Love.” by Constance Clyde.
of Mr. Lamb, and I could not find the
sacred spot. Naturally 1 applied to tlie
When Editing Was Easy.
rector, and as he left the vestry door
An aged Hartford man was talking after service leaning on the arm of a
about the late General Joseph II. Haw pretty young woman 1 approached
ley.
him, raised my hat and asked politely
“1 remember well,” he said, "the time If he could tell me where Chalies and
when General Hawley was an editor Mary Lamb were resting Really he
In this town. 1 remember a story about could not say! Aud 1, forgetting the
editing that he told at a banquet fifty day, the place aud his sacred office,
years ago.
cursed that rector for his criminal igno
“The man who introduced General rance.
Hawley began by saying that editors
" 'Great heavens,' I said, ‘you ought
we.e always up to mischief of one kind to be ashamed of yourself! lu your
cure have been placed tlie ashes of one
of the foremost men In the whole his
tory of English letters. And you don't
know where they are! They have made
your churchyard and your parish dis
tinguished all tlie world over. 1 have
come 3,000 miles to visit Charles
Lamb's grave, and you, tlie rector of
the church, don’t know where It is!
You ought to be heartily ashamed of
yourself.’ And I turned upon my heel
and left him standing there speechless
and confounded.”
Half an hour after the alsive incident
occurred nud while Hutton was grop
ing around tlie graveyard In the twi
light the rector came to him, bat in
hand, apologized most humbly for bis
Ignorance, which lie had corrected In
the meantime, aud conducted him to
the grave of the immortal Elia.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
Dr> Good* and Wet Good*.
Still DI>Mtl«ard.
“Pete.”
you hear
Michigan
tramps?"
"More
Plodding
hunger.
Star.
malibran was a tease .
animal ANIMUS.
W*>* In W telcli 8% 11*1 Brutv* shew
Their luulrui»! Fur Mankind.
“WHAT DILI YOU MEAN, YOU SCOUNUllEL?"
or another. He said there was a Hart
ford man who once went to a Hartford
editor nnd said Indignantly:
“ ‘What did you mean, you scoundrel,
by printing my name in your obituary
coluu.u this morning?'
” ’Why,’ said tlie editor, 'aren't you
dead? I thought you were dead, of
course. Don’t you remember promising
me last week that if you lived till yes
terday you would settle that account
of mine?’ ’’—Buffalo Enquirer.
Jefferson Nonplused.
The late Joseph Jefferson used to
say thnt about the most embarrassing
ex[»erlence of his life befell him in tlie
Mills building, Wall street. New York.
While waiting for un elevator oue duy
a stout little man wearing a full beard
approached and greeted him by name.
Mr. Jefferson responded pleasantly,
adding: “I know your face jierfeetly,
of course, but I can't pla<-e you. I see
many faces, and I’m apt to get con
fused tn my* study of pbysloguomy."
The little, stout, compact stranger
smiled as he turned his cigar over In
hl* mouth and said. "I’m Gener«J.
Grant" Jefferson always declared
that be got out at the next lundhig and
walked down three flights of stairs to
the street for fear he would make him
self additionally i-onspleuous by u*k
Ing the gentleman If he had ever lieen
lu Washington or If be was n veteran
of the late war!—Detroit Free Press.
The stories told at the expense
of Professor Wentworth, commonly
known as "Bull” Wentworth, aud for
yeurs connected with the Phillips Exe
ter academy, are legion. The follow
ing. however, 1* one of the best:
It was the euetom-mr opvuiog day
for eneb Instructor to take the names
of the pupils of his classes.
“Now,” said Professor Wentworth on
one occasion, "I want every boy to
give his full name. If your name Is
William Henry Smith, say William
Henry Smith, aud not W. H Smith
nor William II. Smith.”
The list was nearly completed satis
factorily when the name of John Jay
Brown was given. The professor's
chance bad eouie, ami he roared out:
“John J. Brown! John J. Brown!
Will any one tell me how to apel) J?"
Multiple Screw*.
"Yes, sir," said the boy, "J-a-y." and
Multiple screws were used a* early
Professor Wentworth laughed with the as the American civil war on certain
rest.—Boston Herald.
vessels known a* “tin clad«” on the
Mlssi»sl;pl, their adoption being nee.)
Enough to Kill Io.
The Greek room Is usually not a altated by the shallow draft. The great
place for humor, nor Is the professor advantage they possess tn securing a
of Greek nt tlie College of the City of vessel agalust total disablement and
New York a very humorous person. for maueuvertng soon made them the
Nevertheless the following Joke waa rule In the navy. They were much
sprung on him. The class bad Just re longer In coming into use in the mer
turned from the chemistry room, where chant service. But since the era of the
they had bravely listened to a dis vary largo transatlantic steamers, be
course on the elements. The Greek ginning with the Paris and New York
►«son was commenced with a history and the Teutonic and Majestic, all very
of Io and her endless wanderings. Fi large vessels have been built with twin
nally Professor Tlsdall asked, "What egrew«
did Io die of?” a student who bad been
Tbs truly generous Is truly wise, and
awakened by the queetlon gasped out, be who loves not others Uvoo unbless
'TodMe of potassium.”
ed.- Susie.
• > •
We never knew any one who did not
talk “shop” too much.
How you admire the man who catch
es you doing a good deed on the sly!
What a sorry spectacle a spoiled
child is when away from its mother!
A whipping never hurts so much as
the thought that you are being whipped.
Some men are washed of their sins so
much that they finally have a faded
look.
Tell a bad story without names, and
every one will have an enemy to attrib
ute it to.
Ambition dwindles away In time like
a cake of soap, and by the time a man
Is seventy be can't remember that he
ever had any In the tub with him.—
Atchison Globe.
A Loss Felt Want.
Flannery—What’s the matter wld ye.
Mike?
Finnegan—'Tls near kilt I was be
failin' down an open coal bole.
Flannery—Well, well, 'tlB too bad
they can't Invlnt a coal hole thot'll stay
shut whin It's open. — Philadelphia
ledger.
A Collection or Idiots.
“I want to ask for the band of your
daughter In marriage,” said the young
man.
"You're an idiot," said the Irate fa
ther.
"I know It But I didn't suppose
you’d object to another cne tn the fem
lly!”—Yonkers Statesman.
Ba Bepeataaee.
"Sba married In baste and repented
at leisure, didn't she?"
"She hasn’t repented any that i know
of.”
"But she la divorced?"
“Tea. But she gets $200 a month ali
mony.”—Houston Poet
Des't Hlsder Others.
Next In practical Importance to the
being possessed by a purpose of doing
something In the world la the being
poessssed by the purpose of not binder
Ing others In their doing whatever they
have to do In the world.—Faith and
Works.
Bow She Took It.
Adolphua Hunt—Don't you think It
would bo a noble thing for you to do
with your wealth to establish a horns
for the feeble minded? Mies Riche—
Ob, Mr Hunt, this Is so sudden!
aaaariae.
The Author-Are yo« unfamiliar with
my book? The Friend—I have a nod
ding acquaintance with It.—LlM.