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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 12, 1905)
• • J ••• • .vigM* •• I fôfo? Greater) > I Gain < By I I FRANK I LILLIE POLLOCK I Copyrtghk WO*. by rnuk LUU. Pollock i Nobody seemed inclined to pursue the subject any further when be stopped, but Lindsay, flushed with bls discourse. Joined largely In the succeed ing talk, attempted epigrams and tried to show that he wus not the raw out slder he might appear. Lindsay could not sleep for hours after he went to bed. Physical fatigue, the novelty of his late experiences, the consciousness that he was entering at last ui>on the real struggle of his life, excited his overtaxed nerves, and there was a depressing undercurrent of alarm at the complexity and speed of the strange currents upon which he had cast himself. Russell had advised him to loaj about for a few days till be should be gin to feel at home, and next day he loafed assiduously up and down Broadway from Madison square to the Battery, along the water front and In that amazing whirlpool that swirls daily round the placid tower of Trinity church. He was not much refreshed thereby. The turmoil of conflicting energies stunned bls nervous system and hammered Into his soul the sense of the terrific speed of the race for existence here where the race was to the strong. The Idea of failure over took him with a species of terror. He seemed to see himself falling beneath an avalanche of be knew not what filthy and abominable but all but Irre sistible forces. He bad not made much progress toward feeling at home, but he began to experience a restless de sire to be at work without further waste of the precious time. He declined to go to Zinfandel's that night. So Russell went alone, and, meeting McGann at the door, they went In together. "Where's youi friend?” inquired the editor. "I like a man with convictions. Does not Ills presence make you feel like the idlest of decorative objects- a mere flower, a little violet?” "1'11 tell you what it does do, Mc Gann It makes me mad!" ejaculated Russell, sitting up and forgetting Ills soup. “You and Lindsay are my old est friends, I suppose, and 1 wouldn’t tell this to any one else, but, by Jove, It's worth telling. He and 1 were In the same class at Yale, and everybody thought there was no end to bls genius. Oh, 1 know what a college reputation la! But I tell you he turned out a story or two and some poems that the best man living mightn't have been asham ed to sign. He had things In the best magazines, and his style had Just that brightness that always makes a bit. We had always cherished tile plan of settling down here or In Boston and writing for all we were worth, but he got married a year after he graduated, and I bad to do it alone. 1 knew his wife before he did. She was a pretty little blond thing, genteel, private school, personally conducted to Europe and so on. She read up all the latest books to talk about them and thought and opened a uew bottle of luk. He bad a brain full of Ideas that had been accumulating for years, aud be set to work upon a story of the middle west, bis own country, that be bad long been revolving It came bard; the Ideas re fused to run freely Into words, and he was forced to build up his tale in a la borious brickwork of slow sentences. no, tnus launched, Lindsay fougut bls fight. It was hard aud bitter, for on one side stood the horror of failure, of financial failure, in New York, and this to a man unaccustomed to risk is totally destructive of mental poise, and on the other side iron habit held him down in a groove of orthodoxy. The rejected manuscripts began to come back In about five days, and for three weeks Lindsay listened for the poetmuu’s whistle as for the trump of doom. As the manuscripts came be re read them In cold blood, and the result was sickening. He quite agreed with the editorial decisions. He said that he wouldn't print such stuff In a maga zine of his own. But he knew that be could do better; be knew that be had ideas that were novel and striking, and be plunged desperately into work agalu. ready to have dissected bls own heart if It could have taught him the lost secrets of bls craft. Five days later Russell came Into bls frlend'B room aud saw the wastebasket standing In the middle of the door, crammed with torn paper to the brim. Lindsay was sealing an envelope "Hello, old man! What have you been doing?" he cried. Lindsay turned up a colorless face. "Why." he began vaguely, but with an attempt at dignified cheerfulness, "I—tho fact is. I'm going back." "Going back?" "Yes. to Rameses. My successor hasn't been definitely appointed yet. I learn, and I can have my old place back at—ah—a slightly reduced salary. It's no use. Rus sell; you must have seen It. I can't work at high pressure any more. If I ever could have done anything. It's too late now I suppose I can do my college work. Don't fancy, though, that I'm going back from a mistake to the real work of my Ufe I never liked teaching, and I never »¡is any good. They'll take me back be cause I was there so long, but there won't be processions or bonfires on the campus at my return But It's the only thing that I can do. I—you see, I had always built my best hopes on something else." He looked at Russell, and there was ab solutely nothing to be said. Russell went to the depot next evening and saw him off. It seemed to be an older, more stooped, more gray haired figure than had come. He could have wept or cursed from sheer rage and pity. "Poor devil!" he muttered bitterly as he was being carried back up Forty-second street. "He has lost the world and gained his own soul, or Is It the other way—or has he lost both?" The car stopped, and Russell got off Broadway, strong triumphant, thundered and flared before him. It was the visible expression of the typical New York mood; unconsciously Its presence colored Rus sell's thoughts. "There must always have been a weak ness In him," he said to himself, await ing his car. "It led him to his marriage; It posed as stern morality all his life; It made him throw up the sponge bere Did we always overestimate him? Did he ever really have the strength to reach success? I wonder." Biol.' lies nt I fol Staircase. New or old, Blois is an amazing achievement of the humun brain and the human head. The great staircase in the courtyard, an outside one, form ing an essential part of the elevation, Is, of course, the masterpiece of won der and delight. There la nothing like It in the world, and probably there never will tie. The staircase of the Paris opera-an Interior one, by the way—would have everything to fear In the comparison. The other 1 b a mass of the richest and of tile purest orna ment, with a beautiful proportion be tween Its shadows and Its lights. It Is characteristic of the spirit in which such work was done that it is not always easy to give due gratitude to architect or to stone carver.—Richard Whiteing in Century. Why llr Disliked the Mnn. I once heard of n man who, discuss ing a name on the visiting list, said to his wife, “You know perfectly well that I don't like that mnn.” “Don't you think you are a little unreason able?" asked the wife. “Your dislike arose because he did not answer a letter you wrote him, and you found afterward that the letter wns hung up all summer In the pocket of your over coat and was never sent to him at all." "Yes, I know that.” was the rejoinder, “but It was so long before I found it out that I couldn't overlook ills rude ness, and I never forgave him. and I don't believe I ever shall.” There is a good deal of HI feeling In this world that la without any firmer foundation. —Printers’ Ink. Children quick and Blow. “Children of splendid Intellectuni en downients are sometimes thought to l>e stupid,” says an observing teacher. “The sharp child who learns a lesson In the shortest possible time, who is first with his answers tn the mental arithmetic class, who can produce dntes and geographical names on de mand. Is the oue the teacher loves, and most commonly he Is the one who In 1 believe she was speculating on Ills after life goes on the safe road to com- •uture. They hadn't nny money, and petence. but lie Is not one of those >f course he couldn't risk any such a whose thoughts will be treasured by [nine of chance as literature when lie the world long after he has quitted It. lad a wife to look after she wasn't And quite often the so called stupid the swiii to back him up In a fight child Is. one of tho dreamers In wham to he got a sort of professorship In a are the jiowers of the artist, poet or wretched little school In Raineses.” philosopher struggling for expression." "Ratneses, Indiana? Good God!” in- Women and Pins. terrrupted the decadent. it scemvd If It wuukl take a whole ' He was going to hold It for only two or three years and then come back paper of plus to mend that torn dress. east, but he's been there ever since— The wearer appealed to her car neigh- for seventeen years. He never had bor. "Have you any pins?' she nsked. time to push ahead with his writing, The woman had none, but passed the and then his wife's lungs gave out. and for the Inst several years she has been query on, and In a little while every progressing along In consumption. She passenger wns feeling along coucealed went all to pieces, the way her sort edges an<l turning back lapels. At Inst always do when anything gets wrong, sixteen pins were produced. Fourteen and I fancy she must have got pretty of them wore contributed by men. “We never need them as much as difficult, to say the least. His wife died last month, and here he Is You've the women, but somehow we carry seen him. McGann, there’s a man who them nnd they don't," said one of the ' startl'd out with better brains and latter.—New York Post. more of them than you or I ever will Got the Tkoro. have, and now he's—well, he's a cheap Young Thorne (to his Ideal» — And schoolmaster, lie's made a sacrifice of himself, nnd the fire d >esn’t seem to your name Is Rose? What a sweet descend on the altar. There's an Im name Rose Is! Rose—I am glad you moral tale for your Gray l<eaf." like It But-but—but I do not want to “Does he understand it yet?" asked be a rose without a Thoene. McGann curiously. What could a fellow say after that? "Probably not, but he'll have to iron Mirth. enough, lie's old; he's used up; he's Harmless mirth Is the beat cordial killed himself for a fool of a woman against the consumption of the spirit that be didn't care two sous for.” Certainly I.lndsay had no Idea that Wherefore Jesting Is not unlawful. If be was used up. Next morning he sat, It trespassetb n<M In quantity, quality d<>*n before s thick idle of foolscan or season. —Fuller. NEW SHORT STORIES WASHINGTON LETTER WOMAN AND FASHION FACTJ IN FEW LINES HUMOR OF THE HOUR Jubu Hear*'* Cbivairr, (ferial Correapo! l.-nce ] Thomas W. Lawson was discus-ing • n attack that had l»*vii I., .<• « a b . by a broker "It was a chivalrous attack.” he said "It had in It tlie same spirit of chhalry that iis-hl to animate the words aid deeds of old John lieury. “I was boru In Charlestown, and John Henry bad a farm In the neigh borbood. He was tall uud lean uud round shouldered. His maimer was sullen and forbidding. lie worked hard. People said that be was rich. “His wife was a little, thin, wiry woihhu . She, too, wus round shoulder- "This g Jd old t IWU Of Washington is hardly in the Infancy or its develop* ment," remarked glial widely popular gentleman aud astute financier. W. B Hibbs, the broker, ut ||... Shoreham the other evening. "There Isn't a city in tin- world about which there Is so much misconception as this capital of the Yankee nation. Tire public looks on It as a political headquarters aud nothing more, but in Ulin the public Is bllud. fur, I tell you. the time Is uot distant when Washing ton is going to be among the great financial uud business centers of America. Even now, In the dull days of midsummer, the local, banks ami trust companies are chock a block with business. The shrewd moneyed men of New York note the signs of the times, and they have come In here am! bought heavily Into our leading finan cial Institutions. A seat In the local Stock Exchange that was valued a year ago at $3.000 Is now worth $10,000. Could there tie such a rapid rise un less there was solid merit back of it? “There Is not a Washington interest that is not appreciating nt a rapid rate. The street car lines of a town are a splendid criterion, and the monthly re ceipts of our traction companies are Just $20,000 greater now than for the corrcHiMiudliig iterical of last year.” . Fur ffturuuuua. No uiakuse! makes a m e service able sBuuuer gown th n> | i ;i •••<• Whether •> •• I- to s ut -i i> .y season by the -e -Ir.,'-- «;• I Hi • talus. It is •» w a..» WVli I It «Nk'tume sh >uld be Im lu :<• 1 i ’! wardrobe. The material is Just I • > y enough to be de-irnble wb<u ¡1 <■ th ii tier wash dresses are a bit too cool, au l at. the same time It Is light lu w< Igfal and withstands the effect of atmo«l>bere admirably well, lu the Departmen t Telephone». “SHE SOMETIMES KICKS MILKED." WREN BEIN' ed. She. too, worked hard. This couple were each about sixty years old. They bad no children. "And now about John Henry's chiv alry: “He came to Charlestown one day to bny a cow. He found finally the cow lie wanted, and the price, to his amaze ment, suited him. It was a good, low price, and yet the cow had not a blem ish. “ ‘There be no blemishes about thia cow?' said John Henry. “ ‘Nary a blemish, John,’ the sales man said. “ ‘How comes it, then, ye're sellin’ her so reasonable?' " ‘Well, I'll tell you, fair aud square,' said the salesman. 'She don’t milk good. She sometimes kicks and kicks hard when bein’ milked.' “ 'Oh, that’s no consequence,' said John Henry. 'The wife does the milk in’.’ ” ________ The readjustment of the telephone arrangements of the navy department under the new form of contract with the Chesapeake and Potomac Tele phone company has Ix-en made, aixl a considerable addition has been made to the telephone facilities of the de partment at a decrease from former cost. The state and navy departments were formerly served from one branch switchboard, ami the work has now I won divided, the services of each de partment going through its own switch board. A total of seventy-seven tele phones have been Installed for the navy department, of which forty-two have exchange service, ami thirty-live are restrictial to communication with other telephones on the departmental switchboard and with other depart mental exchanges connected with the navy board by tie lines. Restoring the Capitol Rotunda. The Interior of the rotunda of the capitol Is being restored so that long before congress reassembles it will look as It did nearly half a century ago before the inside was smeared with blue gray paint and rendered unat tractive to the artistic eye. Probably many people of the present generation do not know that the capi tol was originally built of the old Aqula creek sandstone, a really beau tiful building stone and one that It was an artistic sin ever to cover with paint. All the Interior of the rotunda Is built of this stone that Is now (since the paint was removed) a soft gray Walker Blaine’s Advlee, white, Just the tint to harmonize with A prominent Washington clubman the dark marble floor when the latter says that in the days of the old Uni Is cleaned, as It will be when the work versity club at the capital there was Is done. a certain objectionable person of the Will Not I’ay Outside Specialists. species of nouveau riche who had suc Uncle Sam will uot pay for treat ceeded in gaining admission to that ment of his sea warriors by outside club, now defunct, which was consid specialists even when such persons re quiring the services of oilier than uavy ered very exclusive. One day this vulgarian became ex experts have contracted diseases In tremely noisy and offensive in the the line of duty. A decision to this effect was recently card room—so much so that a certain Indignant member of the club blurted rendered by Comptroller Tracewell of the treasury in the case of Rear Ad out: “See here. If you'll resign from this miral Lamberton, who suffered a se vere affliction of the eyes, contracted organization I’ll give you $500.” The objectionable person left the while In the South American service. Ou the advice of the surgeon general room in high dudgeon. Chancing to meet on the stairway Walker Blaine, of tlie nav.v the rear admiral was tho son of the then secretary of state, treated by certain famous oculists, the aggrieved man related the Incident, and the bill for $.327 was sent to the adding, “Now, what shall I do about navy department. Comptroller Trace well says the government cannot pay this?” “I would advise you to stand pat,” it, as the work should have been done replied Mr. Blaine. ”1 think be will by navy surgeons. State I’aper. In Mourning. make It a thousand dollars.”—New During the thirty days ending July York Times. 30 all the official stationery of the state department carried a broad band One on the Conductor. William F. Sanders, who died recent of black as a mark of respect to the ly at Helena, Mont., was a noted char memory of John Hay. When Secre acter. Senator Sanders was a passen tary Root asked for some paper and ger on one of the Montana railroads at envelopes after taking the oath of of one time. He had an annual pass on fice he was furnished with writing ma The the road, but on this occasion he bad terials with heavy mourning. left it at home. He had traveled the symbol of sorrow was marked on all same route many times before and the communications of the department. was well known to the conductor. Instructions to consuls and diplomatic When that official came around for officers in foreign lands, and even state tickets the colonel told him of his for papers intended for delivery to kings getfulness. The conductor, however, and queens, were prepared on paper was obdurate. He must have ticket or tipped with black. One Cent For Four t ears' Work. money. The colonel, rather than have a The post office department recently scene, finally pulled out a five dollar bill, which was ample to cover the ex drew a warrant In favor of Adrlel L. pense of tils trip. It was a very ragged Stuart of Freedom, N. II., for 1 cent. Tills is Stuart's pay for carrying the affair—all torn aud pasted. “That's a One looking bill to give mails for four years from Freedom to a railroad station seven and three- me,” growled the conductor. Colonel Sanders was by thia time quarter miles away. lie travels this distance of fifteen thoroughly nettled. “Well,” he. cried out In a voice that and a half miles six times a week. could be heard all over the car, "If you His pay Is a quarter of a cent a year, don't like it turn it in to the com or one three hundred and twelfth part of a cent for one trip. pany!" Tills Is the smallest treasury war The laugh that went up was at the expense of the conductor.—Pittsburg rant ever Issued and Stuart will have It framed Instead of cashed. He bld Diana tch..________ this low figure because of the presilge At Breakfast With Lord Macaalar. This morning we breakfasted with which the sign “U. 8. Mall” on bls Tiean and Mrs. Mllman U the cloisters wagon gives him tn his passenger car rying business. of Westminster abbey. They had Washington Monument. promised afturward to show us the ab A reception room has been con Iwy. which we had never entirely seen. Our party at breakfast was very pleas structed on the lower floor of the ant. Besides ourselves there were Washington moiiument. The frame Messrs Macaulay. Hallam and Hay of the room was bu'lt of steel beams ward and a elater of Mrs. Milman. Mr and channel Irons, with concrete walls. Since the monument was first opened Macaulay whs as brilliant as usual at breakfast and told many pleasant «nee to the public. Oct. 9. lksg, up to June dotes One I rememlier, of a police 80. 1905, 2.573.000 visitors have as officer at Paris, when the famous can- cended to the top of the shaft, most of tatrlce, Mlle. Sontag. applied for a them having used the elevator, but a passport. Instead of filling up the sig large number walking up and down nalement with a precise description of the stairway. The total nnmber of forehead, hair, eyes, nose, etc., he drew visitors during the past fiscal year was a line down the whole and wrote. “An 130.803. of which number 89.235 used gelique." Galant, n'est ce-paa?—“The the elevator and the remainder the stairway. CARL SCHOFIELD. Everetts In Engiantf,” In Scribner’s. Reasonable. Lace Dresses. The fashion of combining coarser lace with the finer style still finds con siderable favor, and an entire dress made of Imitation Irish lace of good quality may be well and wisely trimmed with very narrow mecblln edging In white, put on In either a scallop or key pattern design, followed by a narrow edging of black. Velvet Ribbons. The use of velvet ribbons is rapidly becoming quite a fad, and In some In stances they almost threaten to dis place all those of other weave. Brown velvet ribbons are highly favored upon white and delicately tinted gowns, and this combination of brown upon white Is one that is highly favored by Mme. la Mode. In Regulation Style. No matter what fashions may come or what may go, the sailor suit In some variation or other is certain to be In style for young girls. It suits their needs on certain occasions more per fectly than anything yet devised. It Is chic and smart In effect and, com bined with all these advantages. It Is absolutely comfortable to wear, allow ing perfect freedom to growing mus- cles. Tbit one la among the best of 1« sort and esc be made either with or without the applied yoke. In the Illustration It Is shown In whit« linen trimmed with embroidery, but It la suited to colored linen, to chambray, to galatea and, as a matter of course, to serge and flannel for cooler weather, and the shield can be of white or of the same color, as liked. Th« skirt Is a favorite of the season and la seven gored, with a plait at each seam. For a girl of fourteen will be required nine yards of material twenty-seven, seven yards thirty-two or three and a quarter yards forty-four Inches wide. Xamcfl of Bird». Certain birds get their names from St. Peter. According to a writer, “the petrel (In German Petersvogel, Peter's bird), a bird that skims the waves. Is named after the apostle who walked upon the waves of Galilee. Rut the parrot's la a less simple case. In Spain nnd in Portugal, as In France, the word corresponding to 'parrot' al Gentle Riat. Mr. Kidder—Ah. my dear, wouldn’t most certainly represent« ‘little Peter.’ you like to see me In a magnificent a familiar nnme playfully applied be automobile? Mrs. Kidder-No. I'd cause Peter n’t)« ♦<> common a Chris much rather see you on a humble wa tian nnme. Similarly a house sparrow Is nlckoame«! •»> errot' <ig France.” . ter *^~-w»n. Chicago Hew* Little Walter was eating lunch when he gave his arm a sudden shove, and. splash, down went bls glass of milk! "I knew you were going to spill that!" said mamma angrily. "Well. If you knew," queried Walter, "why didn't vou tell me?” POXGEE BI MMKH GOWN. illustration is shown one of the best liked models of the season that Is a muss of the flue plaits that are always so graceful and becoming. In this in stance the color is a dull sage green and the trimming Is taffeta silk cut into bands, which on the waist are held by baudsome buttons of rhine stones, but the material supplies much variety of color, while there are others which can be similarly treated nnd which are equally in vogue. The waist Is accordion plaited, then shirred to form a yoke and arranged over a smoothly fitted foundation, the closing being made invisibly at the front, while the sleeves arc shirred to form a succession of puffs. The skirt, however. Is sun plaited, so providing more fullness at the lower portion and less over the hips, and also Is shirred to form the yoke, the shirrings being held In place by a plain foundation. Mot So Attentive Mow. “Is Tim Slimmers still paying atten tion to Mandy Tompkins?” asked ths man who had been away from home for some time. "No." answered Farmer Corntoasel. "They don't neither of ’em pay any ’tentlon to the other. They’re roar- rle<i,”—Washington Star. ■Hctrfc ractiou fiM liven employed lu Gel V a qnarior of a century. The «' • t vibratiau of sound can !,<• . ¡.- ., . si Is-tter wifi, one «ar tll.lll V. til th. '1 i • st '.vit > uci ompaiiie.1 the British . i to Tllwt report, that Hie < ’ strikingly iwM>r in valúa ble mínela Is. It i -aid that white mice wllpdetect a g.is »Hue l-.ik, and they are kept for that purpi .> on Issird vessels carrying the commodity. The Kong > dwarfs, six specimens of which have been brought to I.oudou by Colonel Harrison, never reach a greater age than forty years. An Insurance policy lias Just been written at St. Louis covering the whole of a big brewing plant and Is for the sum of $< 1,1« ZU mo. Thia Is said to be the largest “single plant” policy In the world. Steamship lint's eugagtsl In the ltal inn emigrant trade are preparing to baudle the heaviest business next fall that they have ever known, although practically all records were broken during the spring of this year. Three rare specimens of male tree fern, osuiunda regulls, of more thau l.two years’ growth, have been pro cured for the imperial b >tanlc gardens of St. Petersburg from the virgin for ests on the Black sea coast near Adler. Dr. Bernardo lately sent from bis London homes to Canada a party of 363 boys from eight to eighteen years of age. Since the beginning of bls res cue work be has sent 10,529 from the streets to an Independent aud useful life Faris has a dwarf elephant ulsmt the size of a Shetluud pony. Its keeper Is a Senegalese, who has to sleep In a cot where the elephant can see film. The captive's favorite dish Ls six pounds of rice steeped in four pints of milk. He can also enjoy a nice two pound salad. Reuben C. Clark of Berwick. Me., says that for years he has fought the tent caterpillar and the currant worm with a spray of soapsuds made from old fashioned soft soap. The remedy has proved most satisfactory, the In sects never moving after the solution strikes them. Out of $5.235 collected in Ireland for a monument to Wolfe Tone, $4,730 was spent In various ways by the former centennial association or col lecting committee, says the Irish In dependent, and the monument is uot yet erected. A frosh executive now has the matter In hand. A Brunswick (Me.) man has a small glass case full of houey which he has preserved for forty-four years, aud It appears to be as good as when it was first made. The package, which origi nally weighed five pounds, now weighs three and a quarter pounds, the shrink age being due to evaporation. A young woman fishing front a wharf at Lake I’enaeook, N. IL, booked a two pound bass. As she swung the fish clear of water a pickerel weighing one pound made a rush for the disappear ing bass and caught it by the tall. The pickerel was unable to let go Its grip before both were landed on the wharf. Charles A. Smith has compiled some Interesting figures showing the growth of Barre, Vt., since Incorporation ten years ago. The gain In valuation is about $2.00)1,000, the number of real estate transfers has been 195, the In crease lu the number of polls 1,201 and the number of new buildings and sub stantial Improvements appraised 704. According to a British board of trade return Just Issued, the sugar consumed by tho working classes In Germany costs 5% cents per pound; In Austria- Hungary, 7’^; In Belgium, 7; In France, 7; In Holland, 5’4 cents, and In Russia, 5’4 cents. Sugar is cheap est In Denmark, where It is 5 cents per pound, as compared with 5% cents In Great Britain. John Dunning, the Janitor of Maine hall at Bowdolu college, has In bls pos session the compositor's stick which was used In setting up Longfellow's “Outre Mer,” published tn 1842. This compositor's stick has been owned since 1825 by T. 8. McClellan, who Is ninety-six years old, tlie oldest printer In the state, as well as the oldest Ma son In the state. Mrs. Hester Dorsey Richardson, president of the public records com mission of Maryland, a prominent member of Baltimore society, has be gun a personal Investigation of the records In the old courthouses on the eastern shore of Maryland preparatory to reporting to the next legislature tlielr condition with recommendations for their preservation. A Pennsylvania boy wrote a relative, who is a legislator, asking for the re port of the state fish commission. The member wns so pleased that he showed tlie letter pretty generally around the statehouse aud then wrote to the boy asking what volume be desired. The reply leaked out In some way and reads as follows: ”1 don’t care which year It Is. All I want Is any old thing heavy enough to ¿ress wild flowers.” A fashionable New York stationery house has a new device. Near the en trance, where customers will fall over ft If they don't walk around Jt, Is e handsome table on which rest« a Wa- kasa lacquer ware tray, with this Invi tation attached: “Our patrons will con fer a favor by leaving their visiting cards tn this receptacle." While some customers feel resentful, others are complaisant. When a Dover (N. II.) man finished planting bls pole beans he left the bag containing the left over seed in the grnss beside a tree. He found the bag the other day firmly rooted to the ground. The bottom layer of beans had sprouted nnd the roots Imbedded themselves In the turf. The upper lay ers had swelled and served as a mulch Ing for the vines, the tops of which pro truded from the mouth of the bag. The Boss at tbe Huaeh. Mabel's maiumu uud papa bad Just moved Into the uew apartment, aud Mattel Lad been intrusted with the lm "portaut duty of tending door while the maid washed windows. \ ery anxious ly she waited for the bell to ring that she might enjoy the full dignity of her new |>ost. At last the reward came, •n<l u loud (teal sent her scudding to the ball. A pom|tous looking old gen tieman stood lx1 fore the small tot us with great difficulty she turned the latch and swung <q>en the |>ortal. "Is your mother In, little girl?" said the pom|»ous ohl gentleman. "Yes, sir.” said Mattel. “Tell her the landlord would like to see her a few momenta.” “Th«—what?” asked Mabel doubt fully. She had never heard that word before, and If she had she could not have pronounced It. “Tell her u gentleman.” said the old man, seetug Mabel's dilemma. Presently M h I h ‘1 came running back. "Mamma says she's very busy aud wbat do you want to see her nliout and who are you. please?” "Tell her,” said the ohl gentleman desperately, "that It's the man who owns the house." “Oh!” A great light broke over Ma bel's face. “Mamma,” she cried, “he said he was the Lord, but it's only the Janitor!”—New York Press. The Crucial Paint, “As for me,” said tlie person with the cigar which had a gilt band on It. “I do not care what people think of uie.” He tilted buck in bls chair aud re garded his listeners with a calm, con tented expression. “I don’t care what they think of me, either,” ventured the man with the meerschaum pipe. “I never worry about that. What worries me some times is what they say about me.”— Chicago Tribune. A Terrific Jolt. Algy—Do you aw tliluk It would be wrong for me to marry a girl who is my Inferior Intellectually ? Miss Wise—I think It would be Im possible. Such la I.lie. Time, 1850. Barefoot Boy (solus)— Gee! I only Jest wisht I was a million alre wunst! Timo, 1905. Millionaire (formerly barefoot boy)—Heavens! I'd give my millions If I were a barefoot boy again!— Browning's Magazine. A Rich Poet. “I can't expect,” said Scribbles, "to be as successful a poet as De Rlter. He has wealth ou his side." “Nonsense! He isn’t very well off.” “He Isn’t? Why, be has money enough to buy all the postage stamps he needs."—Baltimore News. Ilow She Knew. Mother—I’m afraid that young man who called on you last evening Isn't much of a society man. Pretty Daughter—He seems to be very Intelligent. Mother—Yes; that's tlie trouble.—Cin cinnati Enquirer. The Magistrate. “Your position Is one which must often call for great tact and delicacy." “Yes," answered the magistrate; "It Is sometimes very difficult to properly discipline people who run automobiles without hurting their feelings."- Wash ington Star. Not What He Required. Iffiysician You should drink plenty af pure milk, as it contains all the ele ments of blood. Patient—Excuse me, doctor, but I'm ■ot bloodthirsty.—Cincinnati Enaulrer. Waateful. Mrs. Chatters—Y’ou don't seem to consider my opinions very valuable. Mr. Chatter«—My dear, I consider them so valuable that It shocks me to •re you give them out so promls cuously.—Pblladelohla Press. __ Boakin* the Umbrella. “What can I do for you today?” asked the pawnbroker. "Well,” replied Brokelelgh. producing bis umbrella. “I hope you will help me to lay' by something lor a rainy day. How much on this?”—Philadelphia Ledger. Mo Reoponor. “Didn’t that patient respond to your treatment?“ asked tlie doctor’® wife. “Not y«t,“ replied the physician, '•and I’ve sent him three bills!*’—Yon ters Statesman. The Paragon. fie never broke a rule nt echool Nor irot mixed up In trouble there; He never had wild oate to sow Nor bowed hie parent» down with care; He never made an enemy And no one ever heard him a wear; He never— well, to tel! the truth. He never did much anywhere. —<JiLU.a<o Newe. Misfortunes Sometimes n Rlesslng. A Great Idea. However others may think of It, yet I take It as a mercy that now and then some clouds come between me and my sun, and many times some troubles do conceal my comfort«, for I perceive if I should find too much friendship In nny Inn In my pilgrimage I should soon forget my father's house and my heritage,—Dr. Lucas. “Did you eve notice that most of tho «widen and dlsastroua fires are due to spontaneous combustion?" “No, but Pvo often thought spon taneous combustion would be a splen did thlKg to keep on tap for lighting the kitchen fire." Tho imperial kitchen of tho Austrian emperor at Vienna costs altout $250 a Advice Is like snow—the softeff It Ninety-nine people go ont to Join the day, says a German contemporary. In falls the longer It dwells upon and the wild bunt for happiness, and the hun this sum. however, are not Included deeper ft sinks Into the mind.—Cole dredth man stn,« comfortably nt home the extra expense« for court dinners, ridge. and wins It etc.
