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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 5, 1905)
ohe ureater Gain 4 By FRANK LILLIE POLLOCK Copyright, 190t,by Frank Lllllo Pollock THE fortnight following his wife's death passed very slow ly to Walter Lindsay, profess or of English literature and language at the college of Itameses City, lie did no lecturing Indeed, he was about to resign his chair and he dragged out the twenty-one empty days in the falsest of falso po sitions, lie had to receive the con dolences of his friends and pretend that the woman's death meant some thing besides emancipation. lie was ashamed to catch himself even think ing of it as such. He rejoiced, but In mental stealth, and In the midst of these emotions he was surprised by the strong and sharp sense of physical bereavement the sudden removal of what had so long been a part of life to be endured. Ills literary ambitions had never de serted him, though for the last decade he had had little time and less heart for actual work. But he had always tried to keep the flame alight. He re membered the time when his friends had thought the highest prizes not be yond his reach, lie was only forty ' one even now a man's best age. Un der the stimulus of anticipation he got v out his old manuscripts and tried to start something new, but he could settle Ids mind to no sustained effort. He postponed beginning work till he 6hould be well settled In New York, and he telegraphed ills friend Russell to meet him at the ferry on Thursday. "Why, he's an old man!" was Rus sell's tirst horrified mental exclamation as he caught sight of the lean, stooping flgure In the black coat and baggy trousers, the rather sunken eyes and the wisps of faded hair on the temples. He had seen his old classmate only once since Lindsay had gone to Indi ana, and his memory had always been of the brilliant youth whose insatiable intellectual curiosity and range of thought had seemed to mark him in fallibly for distinction. "I feel certain that I can do better work here than I have ever done. There Is something stimulating, excltlug, about a great city. Don't you find It so?" said Lindsay. "1 might- If one didn't have to keep up with the race," said Russell dryly. "Have you brought any manuscripts with j-ou?" "A few, mostly old ones. You know I have not had much time for writing during the last few years. Of course," he went on, hesitating a little, "you know how It has been, and I may say that I do not feel that I have lost any thing by It, and 1 would do it all over again under the same circumstances. There may have been some loss of tiir.Or but I feel sure there has been a greater gain. It's been good for me; I'm full of Ideas, and a man needs mellowing a little before he can do his best work. Don't you think so? But how have you been getting on? You never wrote me much about yourself." "Oh, fairly enough In my small way," he said, fumbling for his latchkey. " As thy strength so shall thy day be here.' Here, you know, I've lost a good many illusions about my own genius, and I've come to have more respect for "1 BUPrOSE THIS 13 BOHEMIA.' a potboiler than I once had. Y never would have believed it once, but I rcal y don't suppose I ever had it in me to write a 'Hamlet.' You were always the nan with the sacred fire. Come along this way." The tall building consisted mostly of studios, and Russell occupied a much windowed room at the bitter end of a narrow staircase of many flights. Books and sheets of manuscripts were shuffled about everywhere; there were tropical posters on the walls, mixed with scraps of sketches and photo graphs, and a diffused suggestion of tobacco made a warm, hospitable odor of habitation. The haphazard disorder Jarred on Lindsay's habits of precision, but it spoke unmistakably of work, and he respected it for that Only he said as he washed off the coal dust of the train, "I suppose this Is Bohemia." Russell looked at the end of the ciga rette he had mechanically lighted as If It disagreed with him. "Oh, yes, this is Bohemia," he an swered. "But Bohemia, to be any good, has got to be within you, like the kingdom of heaven. And It's a young man's country, Lindsay. We've got no business in It To a man of forty Bo hemia simply means poverty. If he hasn't gone over to Phllistia by that age It's because he's made a financial failure. I began tills way because I liked It, and now I can't get away." Lindsay established himself in a I j. L smaller room on the same Moor or tue house, where he could have the benefit of his friend's counsel aud the use of his typewriter, and he spent the rest of the afternoon iu unpacking and set tling himself. Russell was writing hard and made no appearance till even ing, when he came In to take Lindsay out to dinner. "We'll go to Zinfandel's place." he said. "It's cheap; It's got as much Bo hemian color as anywhere, and you'll probably see some men there whom It will be useful to know." The big basement restaurant was full of men when they arrived, the cig arette smoke was already curling up. and there was a rattle of dishes and conversation. "Ah, there's McGann!" exclaimed Russell, gesticulating to a late comer, who nodded over the Intervening heads and made his way to a seat at their table. Lindsay had heard of him as the editor of the Gray Leaf, the apos tle of symbolism In unsyiubolic New York. Lindsay felt a little shy about Join ing in the conversation that followed, most of which was upon men and lo cal literary matters beyond his knowl edge. Anxious to say something, he caught at the first name he recog nized. "Isn't that the man who has just come out with a new version of Omar, In hendecasyllablcs or something?" "Ah, yes," said Russell. " The wild ass stamps o'er his head, but cannot break his sleep.' But he can do bully translation sometimes. Did you see his version of 'La CItta Morta?' " "D'Annunzlo's, Isn't It? No. I don't read D'Annunzlo. I am unable to see why moral and physical perversion and disease should pose as literature, even" "S-sh!" interrupted Russell. "You must not say those things to McGann. He won't let you contribute to his magazine." "It's the old question art and ethics," McGann observed wearily. But that was no merely abstract question to Lindsay. He had thought upon It to exhaustion. The Justifica tion of his whole conduct of life hung upon Its answer, and he entered upon a statement of the necessary and es sential morality of art and, as a corol lary, of the artist. It was not particu larly original, and It was colored with the peculiar crudity of the man who bnllnved in nil his convictions TO BK CONTINUED. J OLD TIME DENTISTRY. Qneer Instruments In Harvard Men tal Sellout. Collection. Like many other of the "new" pro fossio.s. dentistry is a" very old one. It is k:own that 4(H) years before the beginning of the Christian era Egyp tian dentists filled teeth with gold, but no trace of their methods of doing their work has ever been found. Aescula pius, the patron of physicians, was the first famous dentist In Roman history, and the old Romans used a toothpick very much like the little woolen one that is made today. The Arabians ages ago produced a dentifrice, but it soon seemed to be very generally used. The story of dentistry Is told in the instruments It has employed. As they siiv known today they had their be ginning In the sixteenth century, but their evolution has been slow. In the Harvard Dental school In Riston then is a collection of insmuuvnts us-d bj dentists In the first half of the last cen tury. One of the formidable tools it includes is what was called a key. doubtless from Its peculiar shupo which was used for extracting teeth, the process being to slowly and pain fully twist and pry the offending niohu out of its place. In order that no mis take should be made the dentist began operations by hammering and prod ding one tooth after another with a tort of bludgeon until he had satisfied himself not to mention the tortured patient- that he had found the most sensitive one and therefore the most likely candidate for extraction. The grandfathers of the delicate steel tools that He In rowson the modem dentist's table were sTnall In number, but larg" In a wf illness. There are In the Harvard collection chisels and mal lets, rude forceps for removing the teeth, miniature crowbars used to re pair cavities for filling, files for sharp euing the cutting and grinding sur faces of teeth and one particularly horrid Instrument, known as the pel ican, with which teeth were "lifted." now rapidly and recently dentistry has become one of the Important sciences appears In the fact that In the middle of the last century black smiths were doing their best or worst to relieve the victims of the tooth ache, while today Institutions like the Harvard Dental school attract stu dents from all over the world. Be sides, while It was sure torture to g to the dentist In the so called "gool old days," such a visit now Is com paratively comfortable, so far has the profession gone In the direction of per forming Its operations without caus ing naln. A Qunint Inscription. An old churchyard near London Is famous for the Inscriptions on Its tomb stones. There Is one on the memorial of Susannah Barford, died 10T2, aet. 10 years aud 13 weeks. The concluding lines beneath the skull and crossbones on her monument are: - Her tnge was short, her thread was quickly piinn. Drawne out and cutt. Kot heaven, her worko was done. This world to her was but a traged play. Sheo camfl and saw't. dlflllk't and passed away. Insurance and Annuranre. "Fa," asked Tommy, "what's the dif ference between assurance and 'Insur ance?' " "Well, my son, one Is what the agent has. and the other Is what he persists In trying to sell you.' Catholic Standard and Times. We Eat Too Flint. "The trouble Is that we eat too fast." said the man who worries about health. "That's right," answered the man who worries about money. "Some of us eat so fast that our Incomes can't keep up with our grocery bills." Wash ington Star. He who comes up to his own Idea of greatness must always have had a very low standard of It in his mind. Haz-lltt NEW SHORT STORIES Tom Heed Got IIIn Train. Not long before his death Thomas B. Reed visited some friends at their summer residence at Watch Hill, R. I. Late in the afternoon he was driven up to Westerly to take the 7 o'clock train for Boston. It was n warm even ing, the horses lagged and he missed the train, the last Boston bound train stopping ut Westerly that night. As Mr. Reed had an important en gement in Boston, early the next ty. he seemed worried until he learn- "vhui:k is that iaiu;k pahty?" cd that there wns a Boston express which passed through Westerly at 0 o'clock. Then he smiled. doing to the telegraph otlice, he di rected a telegram to the superintendent of the road in Boston and sent the fol lowing message: "Will you stop the t o'clock express at Westerly tonight for a large party for Boston?" The answer came: "Yes. Will stop train." Mr. Reed read the message and smiled. When the train pulled in Mr. Reed quietly started to board It. when the conductor said, "Where Is that large party we were to stop for':" "I am the Iiirge party," replied Mr. Reed, and lw boarded the train. De troit News-Tribune. The Description Win Yuntie. Assistant Attorney ( Sonera! Charles II. Robb. who became famous by his work in running down the postal grafters a couple of years ugj. beg:in the practice of law in a small village in Vermont, says the Brooklyn Eagle. He knew all the people of the town, as well as many of the farmers In the surrounding country. "One day." said Mr. Robb. "a tall, lank Yankee, a veritable David Har mn, came Into my oiliee. It seems that ho had got Into trouble as a result of trading a cow. He had succeeded in palming off on an unsuspecting neigh-bitrnrrr-unm'irfrHH-.rti'itgtiife proved to be stone blind. In addition, it was lean and run down generally. On finding that the cow couldn't see. the fanner who had been imp xe 1 'lip-in brought suit against my client. I -questioned the man. "'Did you tell this fanner that the cow was blind?' "'Indeed I did.' protested my client, with a sheepish look. 'I told him that she didn't look well.' " Those I'liiiitcrcstliix? Iliinhanilt. The late Mary A. I.ivennoro liked to tell a story of a young friend of hers In Melrose, for she believed that In this story lay a lesson for husbands. Mrs. Llrermore's friend was passing a month alone, her mate having been summoned to Europe on a business matter. "And you are very lonely without your husband now?" the elder said to the younger woman one morning. "A little lonely." was the qualified answer. "But surely," said Mrs. Llvennore. "you miss your husband very much now he Is away?" The other laughed rather bitterly. "Ob. no." she said. "At breakfast I Just stand his newspaper up iu front of Ills plate, and half the time I forget ho isn't there." Cincinnati Enouirer. Hulked on Cider. Abe f J rubor tells the story of a southern friend who was visiting hlin. Mr. Gruber, wishing to be hospitable, brought forth a whisky bottle and placed It on the dining room table. He then went to the china closet to get some whisky glasses. On his leturn he was surprised to see that his friend had filled up an ordinary water glass to the brim and was about to drink It. "Say." said Mr. Gruber, "what are you doing? You drink that as If It were cider." "Cider?" said the southerner, drain ing his glass. "Do you think I'd take that much cider?" Philadelphia Ledg er. The Ipnornnt Hepenter. In discussing at a dinner the voting frauds of Philadelphia, J. G. Gordon, the mayor's counsel, told a story of a repeater. "He was an Ignorant chap, this re peater," said Judge Gordon. "He had the stolid and unmoved look of mi ani mal. "When they arrested him he asked what crime lay at his door. " 'You are charged,' said the police man, 'with having voted twice.' " 'Charged, am I?' muttered the pris oner. 'That's odd. I expected to be paid for it' "New York Tribune. Carefully l,ed Up To. "Yonder," said the party of the first part, "Is the house in which I was born. We lived on the first floor. McBooth Rantington, the great tragedian, occu pied the upper apartments. He was not only a famous actor, but a singu larly fortunate man." "Then," responded the party of the second part, "you Avere born under a lucky star, eh?" N. B. The management begs to state that It considers this one of the most elaborately worked out jokes we have produced this season. Louisville Courier-Journal. CHOICE MISCELLANY ltnHlIes In Stump. The st.unp was round. It bore the plain iu-ciipt; n. "British CJuiana. 2 cents." Tlieie was no ornamentation on it of any kind. "A thousand dollars.' said the dealer. "The la. t one I sold brought twenty more than that. If you want It you can have it Tor a thousand,. A bar gain." "Thanks." said the collector. "I'm not looking for bargains today." The dealer produced another stamp. "Hawaiian postage. Two cents," it said, and in the middle in a scrollwork square the figure "2" appeared. "I can put no value on this stamp," the dealer said. "Only four copies of It are known to be In existence. To say it is worth its weight in gold would be nonsense. It ivould be nonsense to say it is worth its weight In diamonds. Nonsense even to say It Is worth its weight in radium. It Is probably the most valuable stamp in the world." He took down a New Haven stamp, attached to its original envelope. "These New Havens," he said, "Is sued by the New Haven postmaster be fore the government began to Issue postal stationery, are very rare. I sold a New Haven last year for $1,300. Will you have this at the same figure?" "Not today," said the collector. "Perhaps you'd like these two Mau ritius, the 'postofllco pair,' the penny and the two penny stamp? No collec tion is coinpleto without the Mauritius postotlieo pair.' Their market price Is $3,1)00." The collector shook his head. "Then you'll excuse me, won't you?" said the dealer. "A red half anna has just arrived from India, and an In surance agent Is waiting In my office to insure It. He Insures all my stamps." The Heart's Behnvior. A recent publication of Ann Arbor university describes an Instrument for securing a continuous graphic record of the pulse rate In man which affords valuable indications of the heart's work. The records showed that the commencement of muscular work Is followed almost simultaneously by a marked acceleration of tho pulse. In fact, this modification of the pulse rate ls observed In the next heart cycle after the work begins. In typical cases there are three well marked stages a primary rise, a period of sustained ac celeration and a secondary rise. Simi lar stages of decrease In rate occur after the work stops. The rapidity of the pulse during work depends not only upon the amount of work done, but much more upon the manner In which it is done. Speed and resistance are factors requiring separate consid eration, and of these two speed has the greater Influence. These records show that while muscular work may not appreciably require the expendi ture of bodily forces it Immediately reacts upon the heart, and that, con versely, cessation of muscular exer tion is an immediate relief to the heart.-- Philadelphia Record. The Silent Drnms In France. The French minister of war pro poses to abolish the drum. This was done by one of his predecessors a quar ter uf-.'i ctHHttfy ago, -bt--fr-teektent in a theater compelled him to cancel the order. The curtain went up on one of those pieces of fun the French call "revues" nml disclosed a scene de scribed as the bowels of the earth. En ter several men In dark military cloaks, carrying mysterious packages and generally comporting themselves like conspirators. The packages are opened and there emerge drums! The conspirators are drummers who have descended Into the bowels of the earth to enjoy a gentle tattoo on their be loved but forbidden instruments. When the drums broke Into a Joyous roll, as of captives released, there was a peal of laughter from the audience, and every hotly knew the drum was saved. That is how they correct the war office in France. Perhaps M. Berteaux will have better luck. London Chronicle. Forests of Liberia. Liberia's forestry resources offer an inviting field for a lucrative business In hard woods. The virgin forests con sist of woods of great commercial value, aud there are ample water fa cilities for sawmills. There are two varieties of mahogany, red and gray; four varieties of oak, red, streaked, white and whlstmore; cedar, rosewood, mangrove, burrwood, white and black gum, mulberry, brimstone wood, red peach, pepper wood, white mangrove persimmon, lronwood, greasy peach, poplar, cherry, hickory, saffron, ebony and many other woods common to the tropics. Some of these possess singu lar qualities. The greasy peach lasts Indefinitely and Is proof against In sect attacks. Electric Fun Sore Throat. The reason the "electric fan cold" is so often accompanied by soro throat is, according to a doctor whose downtown location brings him many such cases, that the draft made by the fan car ries so much dust with it. "The fact is," eayB this authority, "that the air stirred by the fan Is not fresh air, un less the fan Is backed up against an open window. When operating In an Inside room or in similar places whero it is most appreciated the fan uses the same air over and over, and this air gathers up and keeps In motion all the available dust." Philadelphia Record. Enerjry of Hadluni. The quantity of energy put forth by radium is very large. Expressed as heat, It Is sufficient to raise Its weight of water to boiling point In an hour. Expressed as power, the energy of a saltspoonful would lift COO tons a mile high power 30,000 to 1,000,000 time's lis great as that developed by the most powerful chemical energy hitherto known. Cramp In the I.fRH. People who are subject to cramp lo the legs should ahvays be provided with a good strong piece of cord, espe cially In their bedrooms. When the cramp conies on take the cord, wind It round the leg over the place where It Is cramped, take an end In each hand and give It a sharp pull, one that wll.' hurt a little, and the cramp will cease Instantly. People much subject tc cramp In bed have found great relief from wearing on each leg a garter ol wide tape which has several thin slice. of cork stitched on to It. WOMAN AND FASHION An Effective Design. Suspender waists continue to be a conspicuous featuro of the wardrobe, and the addition of a prettily, shaped yok'- adds a touch of newness. Fine 81'Hl'KNDKIl M.OUSC tucks in the upper part of the front give fullness below the yoke. The use of the yoke in the back is optional, as the design will be equally as effective without it. The fullness In the lower part of the sleeves Is taken up iu tucks. Mohair, voile, madras, linen and pique will develop this model well. The me dium size will require two and tive elghths yards of thirty-six inch ma terial! lints For Mttle Folks. There Is an endless variety of wash able hats for little folks. There are floppy little hats of scalloped pique, of which the Inside of the brims are faced with tiny lace frills, and the tain o' shunter crowns encircled by a bow of ribbon. The lingerie and embroid ery hats are still quite the rage for dress wear, some of them being made of delicate fluted muslin. Sunbonnets and sundowns are made of embroidery and pique, and there are also tuscan sailors, which are wide brimmed and which are trimmed for little folks with garlands of tiny flowers and a knot or two of ribbon. Midsummer Skirts nnd Conts. Skirts are of all lengths, from the ex tremely and ridiculously short to those that all but touch, for street and com mon wear, while for evening the round lengths Just escaping the floor and the trailing gowns are both worn. In coats both long and short are seen, the three-quarter length leading In evening coats. Etons. boleros, redin gotes and long plain coats are all in evidence, ami no matter what one's figure is It may be suitably skirted and coated. Jnpnnese Fnns. The most fascinating of the season's fans are marvels of oriental workman ship. Old world colorings run riot in the quaint picturing of 'lie lume and social life of the new world power. Delicately carved, fragile teakwood frames In myriad leaf and petal-like shapes hold bolting cloth or silk, paint ed or embroidered with the exquisite perfection of those ancient masters In line art. The Ilntpln. To be quite a la mode one must hac now a set of hatpins that belong to gether (five is the accepted number) in place of the hodgepodge of pins that has been used so long. For the Schoolgirl. How to provide a suitable number of frocks for the small daughter and to have them effective, becoming and simple Is a problem which confronts many. Blue serge was used for this particular dress with charming results. SCHOOL FltOCK. flounces and bertha being trimmed with narrow soutache braid to match. A shirt blouse of white linen with em broidered cuffs and yoke completes the small outfit, to which a blouse of pon gee to change with the white one aud wear on ordinary occasions might be tdded. Plalded gingham, one of the aew mercerized cotton materials or linen will make up well after this pat tern. For medium size three and seven eighths yards of material thlrty-slx Inches wide are reaulred. Depends. "Do you believe the old saying. There's no place like home?' " "That depends." "Depends upon what?" "Upon whose home you are referring to." Cleveland Plain Dealer. The Sepnrnllon. Mrs. Grogau Keegan an his wife had a fierce scrap. Mrs. nogan An' did they separate? Mrs. Grogan They did. but Keegan wns most dead before th' cops could get tlf twisters on Mrs. Keegan an' separate thlm! Puck. TER 3pnift' c 'orrt-sporalftit'e. The e;:isui.;r r-;i--;;. published by the bureau of in- cvt u tures of the de partment oi' i u;ii lie.i e and labor, have developed into a regular trade maga zine. There are now .".uuu subscribers to I '.lis publieati in. and the subscrip tion list is constantly growing. Nearly yll the subscribers are business men, fiiough the reports originally were pub lished for newspaper use. Major John M. Carson, chief of the bureau, who formerly was a news paper man. has turned the old "ad vance sheets," as they were called. Into magazine form. The scipe has been broadened, ami the publication is no longer confined to consular reports. The magazine Is entitled, by Secreta ry Motcalf's order. "Daily Consular and Trade Reports" and Is to be a magazine of commercial Information derived from all sources. The first number contains in addition to con sular reports information from special agents of the department, private In vestigators and newspaper writers. A Fly by .Mall. A common house lly arrived at the library of congress the other day from Chicago. He came by mall, entirely sealed up In a big envelope containing an application for copyright. When the mail clerk In the copyright ofiice opened the envelope the Chicago lly hopped out. stood on the table a mo ment, stretched himself, shook his wings and Hew away lo make the ac quaintance of Washington tiles. There Is an average of loO.OOO pieces of mall received In the copyright of fice every year, but this Is the first time that such an Incident has hap pened. The clerks are wondering how this fly escaped death by mashing In the stamp canceling machines. Xeiv Name of the Ilurenn of Forestry. Dating from July 1 the bureau of forestry became officially known as the forest service. The change was made by congress last winter when It pro vided for the government work In for estry during the coming year and sig nalized an important advance In tho scope of that work. The actual con trol and administration of the national forest reserves, formerly under the charge of the land ofiice department of the Interior, Is now In the Viands of tho forest service. Control of the re serves was turned over to the bureau of forestry last February, and the necessary reorganization Is now well advanced. In taking up Its new work, however, the forestry service will not abandon any part of the old field of the bureau,. Cartoons of Paul Jones. In the reception room of the secre tary of the navy a collection of steel engravings of John Paul Jones Is on exhibition. Most of them are more than a hundred years old. Several of them are caricatures. They were mostly made In England at the time Jones' raids on the English coast had created so much fear and anger. Generally he Is represented In these cartoons as a pirate. In one he Is the typical buccaneer of the Spanish main, with long black Ifalr and beard stream ing in the breeze. He carries a cutlass In one hand and a big pistol in the oth er and several pistols In his belt. He wears a leather apron on which Is a skull and crossbones. In another the commodore Is repre sented as a Chinese pirate In the act of scuttling a ship. In addition to his equipment of pistols he has a lot of battleaxes and Is surrounded by a breastwork of dead men. Mrs. Hoot's Hitch Post. Mrs. Elihu Root, wife of the new secretary of state, will hold an en tirely different position iu Washington society from that which she held when her husband was merely the secretary of war. Now It will be her duty to set the pace for all the other women In the cabinet not only In their diplo matic code, but In every other branch of social thlcs. She must stand next to Mrs. Roosevelt on all occasions of ceremony and perhaps be called upon to represent that lady In more ways than one. But Mrs. Root Is not likely to even offer suggestions remotely hint ing at Innovation. It Is well known that she does not like official life and that her simpler duties when before a cabinet ladv were distasteful to her. Roadway of Stone. In the construction of the road the same general plans will be followed as was done, when the driveway on the north side of the tidal basin was constructed. The ground will first be dug out to a depth of about two feet, then a layer of rubble stone, broken granite about six Inches square, will be laid, and on top of this smaller stoue will be placed to fill the crevices below the large stone. A third layer of stone about the size of grape will next be put down, and on the top of nil will be a dressing of stone ground Into small pieces that will run through the eutlre mass and solidify It, making n roadway of stone two feet thick. CARL SCIIOF1ELD. A Queer Thliiff About July. How we came to pronounce July as we do now with the accent on the sec mid syllable Is one of the unsolved mys teries of speech. Named, of course, aft er Julius Caesar, It should really be pro nounced to rhyme with "duly," and so our forefathers actually did pronounce it Spenser, for instance, has the line. "Then came hot July boyllng like to fire," and even so late as Johnson's time the accent was still on the ".Iu." It Is one of many words which would startle those ancestors of ours, spoken as we speak them now.--London Chronicle. An Interesting Experiment. A vessel containing a certain white powder Is placed upon the table, when the operator advances, waving his wand and uttering some magic words coined by himself, when. lo. of a sud den the room is lighted up with a bril Hunt light, so effulgent that it dims the eyes of the spectators. The secret Is tills: The powder Is composed of equal weights of loaf sugar anil chlorate of potash, separately reduced to line pow der and then well mixed together. This is placed In a cup, and when the pow der Is touched with the least drop of sulphuric acid It will instantly burst into a Hame. The end of tin glass rod should be dipped In the acid immediate ly before use i There's music In all things. If men had ears. Byron. WASHINGTON I HUMOR OF THE HOUR Willie's Essay on Essay. Thare are meuuy kinds of essays, such as the magglezeen essay, the re ligious essay, the littery essay, the school essay and so foarth, but the fun niest essay Is the small boys essay. The small boys essay Is written by a boy after he groze up. Bl the time he gets baldhedded and is so old that he wares shoes that are not too small for his fete he begins to write boys essays and sell them to the palpers. Reel boys rite essays on trees and home and hope and why we should ever strive to be good nnd true, but when bald hedded men rites boy's essays they rite about wiinmen and stiles and howse cleenlng aud so foarth. The funniest thing about boys essays that baldhedded men rites Is that every buddy sez alnt that, just like a boy. Chicago Tribune. A Kind Deceptloa. "She Is always thinking of her hus band's comfort and peace of mind," said one woman. "Yes," answered the other. "Every evening just before he comes home she puts the thermometer In the Ice chest for a few minutes." Washington Star. A Matter of Course. "Do you know anything about serv ing dinners?" "Yes." "Well, then, what follows Welsh rab bit?" "A bad dream." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Tho Reason. "Now, why Is It," asked the father, "that we celebrate your birthday, Wil lie?" "Because I wasn't twins, I guess," replied the penetratiDg youngster. Puck. Good Security, Anyhow. "Why do you think your son-in-law. has natural ability as a financier?" "He induced me to lend him the mon ey to buy my daughter's engagement ring." Chicago Record-Herald. His Small Needs. "How are you progressing In a liter ary way?" "Fine! All I need for my new novel Is a name, a publisher and enough' to live on till It's published." Atlanta Constitution. lie Stood Corrected. "Hush, Harold! It's wrong to say any one is going straight to the Old Boy. "That's so. You have to be crooked to go there." To Be Considered. Papa I don't know why anybody ever thought of giving babies rattles to help them make noise. Mamma But think of the noise they would make if they didn't have them. Brooklyn Life. True. "If you go any deeper,' said the patient baldheaded man to the mosqui to, "I'll smash you." "If you do," sang the tormentor warnlngly, "my blood will be on your head."-Smart Set Queer. Towne My wife never likes me to re fer to her age. Browne My wife's funny that way too. She doesn't want me to remem ber her age, and yet she gets mad If I forget her birthday. Philadelphia Press. Flnvor as Well as Odor. Barber I am trying a new kind of Imported soap. Dou't you think the odor Is excellent? Customer Fine! The flavor Is good tool Milwaukee Sentinel. Ileservlnsr. "She has worked hard for her social position, hasu't she?" "Indeed, yes. Why, I understand that she is the heroine of three scandals." Life. If the Japs Arc Like Vs. It's Togo this And Togo that. Tha Togo shoo And Togo hat. The Togo waist And Togo skirt, Tho Toeo tlo And Togo Bhlrt. If Japanese are like Amerlcans-v It's Togo songs And Togo plays. And Togo Jokes, And Togo stays. And Togo drinks. Then, like as not. In ono short year The man's forgot If Japancso are like Americana. Chicago Chronicle. The End of the World. That the earth will eventually dry up and all living things will die of thirst Is the theory of n scientific writer. He says that in both Africa and Asia, and Indeed in all the great levels of the world, the water beds are drying up. Many lakes well known during the his torical period have entirely disappear ed, while others are shrinking rapidly. "Explorations iu central Asia have proved that for centuries a zone stretch lug from the east to the southeast of this part of the czar's dominion has been drying up. Deserts are gradually spreading, and reports show that it la ouly In the neighborhood of mountains, round whose brows vapors condense and fall, that Irrigation can be carried on or life itself can be preserved." ' rC" '