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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 28, 1905)
By Special j Delivery By GEORGE ETHELBERT WALSH Cop right, 1KU. by George Ethelbort Walnh 1 J w Tlie men cast a leering grimace over their shoulders. Pete held the letter aloft and Jeered. "We'll see that she gets It We'll take It up to her or inal It If we don't have the time. By-by!" When the men disappeared as sud denly as they hud presented them selves, with the leafy foliage Inclosing them so that they were lost to sight and hearing, the agonized minister lifted his hands and head In n mute appeal to heaven for Justice. The tears welled from his eyes; the lines of his face deepened; his limbs trembled and shook as though stricken with palsy. The sonnet and epistle writing habit had at last bom Its bitter fruits! Cyn thia would In one moment know all. nud through such a source! To have common tramps to deliver a letter of proposal to her was too humlllatlne. She who had won and held the love of two noble husbands must view with scorn and contempt such a profano abuse of a privilege. The minister brushed his clothes of the leaves and twigs as he hurried through the narrow path leading back to Dalevllle. An hour later he stepped briskly, If somewhat uncertainly, up the gravelly path leading to Cynthia Trimble's pretty cottage. She was there on the porch to receive him. For once he did not see her welcoming smile or the curves of the plump cheeks or the mantling ilush of the brow "It's a pleasant day," she greeted afar off, rising to meet him. The Reverend Sextus panted with his exertion. He dropped Into a seat on the porch and gasped "The letter! nave you received It?" Sho smiled eagerly and shook her head. "I have received no letter What letter Is it?" A craf ty expression entered the dark enlng eyes of the minister. He hesitat ed and stammered: "The letter ah. yes. what letter? I forgot. You did not know." "No. I did not know." she murmured. "Hut Tin anxious to know." "I I cannot tell you now," he stam "Some day yes. some day I will J-H you " " n. thinklnpr of the tramps and their t to mail It if they had no tlmo to r it. lie added. "But if the letter - ou will will let me know and not ! U?" V. .-re he was treading- upon a woman's ;r und. and Cynthia knew her preroga tive Fli shruppod her shoulders and an-i-w !-.!. ".: If It comes I'll tell you." "Aim! yo'i'll not read it?" 31h? shr-..-d her shoulders again and IooU.hI aw ;y "I saw two tramps go by hero a short time sko " the huM. "They seemed In a great hurry I wnJer If they have been doinc some mlsrhW The Rev S-xtus Worterly was a close reader of character, and he studied her .JtUSfilnausly until h was assured or ner Innocence. Then tho Reverend Sextus rose to go, murmuring to himself: "Tin: LirrrEn at last!" sue kxclaimud. "They do not Intend to deliver It In per son. It Is by mall they will send It. I'm safe for the night." When he wended his way homeward his thoughts were confused, bitterness mixed with a strange sensation of elation. Shxuld she, receive tho letter It was a satisfaction to know that It was properly worded. He doubted If cither of her former husbands could have penned such another note. Hut Immediately following his elation at this reflection he shuddered, and a cold perspiration broke out on his forehead, if she did not love him what presump tion on bis part! No. the letter must not be delivered! That night he trld to bribe the post man on his route to rob the mall that Is. to secure back his letter to Cynthia. "It's agulr.st the law. elr." severely an swered the honest postman. "But, see ing it was your letter first. I what kind of handwriting w;is It In?" "It it I don't know. You see, it was addressed by by" The uostman shook hla head. "Couldn't ao u. sir. ror nnyuoay. it wouia iana me In Jail. Sorry, sir." On many morrows thereafter he visited Cynthia, with always the same query framed on his lips. "The. letter has It come yet?" No. the letter had not come by post or by tramp delivery. And each succeeding day the Reverend Sextus gained back some of his former poise and self confi dence. But the necessity of making the Inquiry before he began a day's work on his sermon grew Into a fixed habit which he could not cast off. It was a pleasant habit too. It Inspired him for the duty of the dny. IIs grew fonder of Inquiring about tho letter than of making metaohors and similes for his o.j3courea tor in naDoatn nay. rne poi son of the temptation entered his blood and grew with Insidious rapidity. ! Old not realize It until a fortnight after tho holdup In the woods. Then like a Hash of Inspiration It dawn ed upon his mind. He was seeking Cyn thiu's society not for the sake of the let ter, but for the pleasure of her company. He had been deceiving himself all theso days, weaving a web of delusion around his life that was as dangerous as the temptation of the drunkard. Ho was drunk drunk with the wlno of love. He groaned In spirit and beat himself with mental castlgutlon. Ho was worse than the hypocrite who deceived tho world, but was honest to hlmnelf. Not in all his dayB had he yielded to such sin i (irwnrn . ami lanen to sucn uepun. aim wncn ne gazed up at the heavens lujaln ho had a new light ol! determination In his eyes, i Tit " nis nanus were clinched. It was tho beatific expression of the reformer which shone on his face. He would pay the penalty of his tin In sorrow and pain. "This shall be my last vialt." he Mur mured. "1 shall return to m duties ami forget that 1 have drunk so heavilv and deeply at the fountain of love. Oh. man. woak. weak man!" When ho reached the porch of his be loved's homo he was a sad and quieter man. with thoughts on things spiritual rather than material. No words about the letter escaped his lips. His walk and smllo wero sedately solemn. But thero was no reciprocating mood to greot him. Cynthia Trlmblo was. allvo with happiness and coy delight. Sho held aloft a letter. Ita whiteness was not more snowllko In its purity than her hand. "The letter at last!" she exclaimed. "Why do you not ask for it? Seol" The Rev. Sextus Worterly turned palo, and his Jaw dropped with an ominous click: his hands clutched his side. "Did you think it would never como?" she asked, fingering it lovingly. "But tho writing Is well. I would hardly know that It was" Sho looked up. for tho groan was the groan of one in distress. "My sins have found me out found ma out!" "Was there anything In tho letter that that you regret saylng7" she asked softly. iiq looked at her. Her faco was dell cutely tinged with red. The. eyes wero shining brightly. One shaft from them unnerved him. He forgot hla resolutions. nis temptation, his sin "No; nothing that I regret. It was all true." Then na Bho picked absentmlndedly at mo letter he added "Tho letter! Now that It has como give it to me. 8ho shrank back shudderlngly and ro- pucd: -rso; It Is mine. I must keep it i i snail always treasure it.' Tho Reverend Bextus gaxed mutely nt ner. his mind aflame with love "And you aro not offended?" he sold slowly. She answered with restraint, but with eyes full bent upon him: "No. no. Why should I bo offended?" "Then" and the words came slowly tnen my Bin Is not not a sin. I feared it would offend you. But If it has not my love must find Bomo responso in you. Cynthia. The letter has not been without avail." a row minutes later he touched her hand and said "But tho letter. Cynthia. You will give it to me now." .o. no; never!" she protested. "It is mine, mine always. I cannot glvo it up." as you say. dear." he responded, while the pride of a newborn Idea entered his bosom. It was sweet to havo another cherish his composition "And you will call me Reverend Sextus no. Sextus-slmply Sextus?" he added "Yes. Sextus Sextus. dear." sho made answer aj sho tried to conceal tho letter In the folds of her dress. But the letter! It was not gtven to him. When tho Reverend Sextus left Cynthia gazed at the Illusive epistle, with its faded chlrography. and mused softly: "He didn't know tho difference, and what's the harm? I thought as much. And It was a proposal, after all. I won der what he Bald." And she sighed for tho Impossible, for his letter had not been delivered. THE ANCIENT ZORA. It Wn the First Corset and Was Used In Cleopatra's Time. It was back in Cleopatra's time that the corset was first thought of. Who knows but perhaps the dusk' beauty of the Nile thought to hold .Mark An tony's tickle fancy longer could she add some new charm to her face or figure? Anyway, it was then that the em bryo corset first appeared in the shape of a stiffened linen girdle called a "zora." Sometimes It was worn out side the tunic, tightly laced and much jeweled. Then fashion wearied of the "zora," and for twelve centuries the corset languished. The Creeks and Romans next held sway, and beauty unadorned was good enough for them. In the sixteenth century along came Catherine de Medici, that energetic lady who meddled In everything, from empires to hairpins, and she revived the corset with a vengeance. She not only wore It herself, but also issued an edict that all women of birth iml breeding should wear corsets which should reduce their waist meas ures to thirteen inches. This corset was called a "corps" and was stltreneu in every possible man ner. In tiiis the body was pinched mil forcjil. while over the "corps" was c lasped a perfectly fitting corset cover, constructed of thin plates of steel, fashioned in two pieces and opening on a hinge. This instrument of torture lasted un til the early part of the seventeenth eenturv, when more pliable materials were adopted. Heautifully quilted satin bodices re placed Catherine's Invention. The next change in the corset's his tory took place in the early part of the eighteenth century, when leather stiffened with whalebone enrao Into use. Since then It has gone on steadily improving until today for every type of woman there is a specially adapted corset. New York American. Xo Donbt of III Honesty. Deputy Sheriff nnd Chief of Pollco Alf Church of Woonsocket waa known In his day as a man who wag straight forward and blunt In all his dealings. One day a grocer went to Alf for In formation about a certain Joo White, who had applied, for credit and a book at his store, and the following dia logue ensued: "Good morning, Mr. Church," "Mornin'." "Do you know Joe White?" "Yes." "What klud of a feller Is he?" "Putty fair." "Is he honest?" "Honest? I should say so. Been ar rested twice for Htealiu and acquitted both times." Important Question. The wasp was buzzing languidly nround the house cat "You needn't come nny nearer," said the cat. "I won't hurt you," said tho wasp. "I'm half sick today, anyhow." "Which hair?" asked the cat, back ing off. Chicago Tribune. Trade Superstition. Dressmakers will not "fit" with .... .....1 .. X 14. 1 , AA tack with green cotton. Milliners re- ' card as of happy augury the drop of blood falling on n hat from a pricked flncer. London Notes and Queries. A person Buffering from chronic rheu matism should avoid dried fish, cooked oysters, pork, veal and turkey. ' MIT W QHHDT TfDTFQ lE-VT OWUK"i J. UrillO Rebuffed (he Itallronil President. Several of tliein were sittiug in the ollico of General Manager Calvin of the Southern Pacific discussing rail road men and railroad affairs, and the name of Sidney Dillon, one time pres ident of the I'nion Pacific, was brought Into the conversation. "Did you ever hear about the time that Sidney Dillon was rebuffed by a "HAVE YOU A TELEGRAM FOIl ME?" telegraph agent?" said Mr. Calvin. "The story has been told on several railroad officials, but it really hap pened to Sidney Dillon. There was a washout on the Union Pacific over In Nebraska. The Loup river climbed out of Its channel and did quite a little damage to a piece of track at the far end of a long trestle. Several trains were stalled at a llttlo station near the scene of the trouble, and the passen gers were subjecting the telegraph op erator to all sorts of annoyances by asking questions. During the night President Dillon came along In his spe cial train. Leaving the car lie went up to the station and said to the operator: " 'Have you a telegram for me?' " 'I'm blessed If I know,' said the operator, eying Dillon very critically. "Would your photograph be on It?' " Cleveland Plain Dealer. Value of Advertlslnir. At n political meeting held up the state just before the election of our present governor the speaker and au dience were very much disturbed by a man who constantly called for a Mr. nenry. Whenever a new speaker came on this man bawled out: "Mr. Henry I Henry! Henry! I call for Mr. Henry!" After several interruptions of this kind at each speech n young man as cended the platform and was soon air ing ills eloquence in magnificent style and striking out powerfully in his gestures when the old cry was heard for "Mr. Henry." Putting his hand to his mouth like a speaking trumpet. this man was bawling out at the top of his voice: "Mr. Henry! Henry! Henry! I call for Mr. Henry to make a speech!" The chairman of the meeting now arose and remarked that it would oblige the audience If the gentleman would refrain from any further call ing for Mr. Henr as that gentleman was now speaking. "Is that Mr. Henry?" said the dis turber of the meeting. "Thunder, that cau't be Mr. Henry! Why, that's the little cuss that told me to holler!" Philadelphia Ledger. Won the Verdict. Senator Culberson of Texas tells a story about circumstantial evidence and misleading circumstances which is a valuable lesson in law. Ex-Gov ernor Throckmorton of Texas was de fending a man who was charged with murder. It was shown that ho had killed an unarmed man, and that Is an awful crime in Texas, where they will forgive the lucky man if the other happened to have a gun on his person. Governor Throckmorton was endeav oring to convince the Jury that the de fendant had a right to suppose that the dead man was armed. He had tried to show It by evidence and wus dwelling on that point In his argu ment. At last, pulling off his coat and vest, he stood beforo the Jury in his shirt sleeves and asked the Jurymen if they believed him to be unarmed. They all nodded acquiescence. There upon Throckmorton pulled a revolver out of each bootleg and drew a long bowie knife from back of his shirt collar. His eloquence nnd that Illus tration won tho verdict of the jury. An Expert. The late John W. Mackay was at tending to business at the great Com stock mine one day when a party of tourists approached and asked if he knew of a guide who would take them about. Evidently none of them knew him. Mackay offered to escort them and did so, explaining the whole mys tery of gold nnd silver quartz mining. When they emerged the visitors club bed together and made up a small sum for the guide. Among them was An drew D. White, recently ambassador to Germany nnd nt that time president of Cornell university. "Here, my man. tnke this," he said. "Your explana tion of tho working of the mine has )een singularly clear and Informing." "Well, it ought to be," replied tho guide as he slipped the half dollar In i his overalls pocket. "I dug 'em nnd I own 'em." Palliation. "We are going to give an amateur dramatic performance In aid of a worthy charity." "Why, that, of course, Is nn exten- uatlng circumstance." New York Mast Have Ileen Ice. Mamma No, dear, the Atlantic ocean never freezes over. Elsie Oh, but It must. I heard papa telling Mr. Gnyly Unit when he was coming across from Europe the last time he had hla skates on all the time. WASHINGTON LETTER Special Correspondence. Work on the superstructure of tho magnificent new home for the govern ment of the District of Columbia has begun. The foundations have been completed nnder a separate contract and all Is In readiness for Mr. Jumes L. Parsons, the contractor for the su perstructure, to raise the marble walls which when completed will constitute one of the handsomest buldings In the national capital. The granolithic floors of the subbasemcnt were completed previous to the advent of the builders Congress after much persuasion ant argument appropriated the munificent sum of $2,500,000 for the District build Ing. Of this sum $550,000 was expend ed for the site at Fourteenth street and Pennsylvania avenue, $190,000 for the foundations, and the marble wil cost $640,000. Mr. Parsons has Rgreet to complete the building for $095,000 This totals about $2,375,000, leaving $125,000 for architects' fees, machln ery and other incidentals. The Nevr Persian Minister. Tho new Persian minister, Genera Morteza, khan, has created something of a stir in Washington by the rich ness and gorgeousness of the house decorations he brought from Persia The embassy In Eighteenth street is said to contain some of the handsomest and most expensive Persian rugs, draperies and embroideries ever seen In Washington. One room is partic ularly beautiful, every foot of floor, wall and ceiling space being covered with antique rugs. Geuerul Morteza Is a rich bachelor and Is anxious to become acquainted with tho people here. He is handi capped by not being able to speak a word of English. But he Is most hos pltnble and on tho slightest pretext will Invite acquaintances to the em bassy and regale them with rare and curious sweets from the far east. General Morteza has some of the costliest medals and decorations worn by any member of the diplomatic corps. One Is particularly beautiful and was given to him by tho shah of Persia. It contains a mlulature por trait of the shah, studded with dla mouds, and Is the highest form of dec oration bestowed by that potentate on any of his subjects. Hard to Rob Uncle Sam. It Is practically impossible to rob Uncle Sam of nny of the actual cash In his coffers. Eight years ago when the cash In the treasury was turned over to Treasurer Roberta It was discov ered for the first time In the history of the nation that there had been some tampering with certain great bags of coin. Investigation proved that some of the bags containing silver dollars had been opened, a few dollars ex tracted from each and an equal amount of leaden slugs substituted. Thus the bags would pass the weighing test which has been used for them, It turned out that between $700 and $S00 had been taken and that a colored man who had been In the service for many years had invented nnd carried out tho plan of opening the bags and substituting leaden slugs for the silver. Forclarn Warship at tho Capital. The Italian cruiser Dogall, used as a training and school ship, came up the Potomac a few days ago and anchored Just below the city. She has 24.S men and boys on board fresh from an ex tended cruise In the West Indies. The Dogall Is the Becond warship of a for eign power to fly her flag in sight of the capital, the first being nlso an Italian vessel, the Amerigo Vespucci, which came up the river In 1SDS and for a time frightened the Inhabitants along the banks, who thought she was a Spanish battleship coming to bom bard Washington. The White Hunse Force. Assistant Secretary Forster remains In charge of tho White House offices during the absence of Secretary Loeb and tho president, with a part of the clerical force. The office will remain open during the summer. That portion of the White nouse which has been open to the public between the hours of 12 nnd 1 o'clock will continue to be accessible during the summer months. As tho cards of admission havo only been procured during the hours named during the occupancy of tho president It will probably bo now even easier to gain admittance. The living rooms of the president's family aro closed. Washington Pnco KHIn. Dr. T. C. MacDonald, one of the best known physicians, who has a world wide acquaintance with public men. In discussing tho denth of Secretary Hay said, "Public men hero Buffer from tho aggregated disadvantages of a sedentnry life with its well known dleflc errors." He quoted a remnrk of Senator Dolllver on the denth of Thom as B. Reed, as follows: "Official life In Washington, with its social sldo features, Is a hotbed for Brlght's disease and early graves." Dr. MacDonald added: "Some tlmo ago a cabinet officer said to me, 'A good digestion nnd modern statesmanship should go together in the order named.' "Thomas B. Reed's fatal Illness of nephritis was ushered In by nn acute attack of appendicitis. "A member of Reed's family told me that after one of those stormy scenes In the first speakership, which ho ap parently ruled with sphlnxliko Immo bility, he would go homo nnd to bed prostrated with a nervous chill. "At the Gridiron dinner made fa mous by being tho last that Marcus A. Hanna attended I said something o him about the worries and anxieties necessarily associated with public life. Fagged and worn and showing the stress and strain which ho had under gone, his white, waxy face became prophetically solemn as he exclaimed: "Doctor, official life In Washington is nothing short of political vivisec tion.'" CARL SCHOFIELD. PrnylnKT For Good Hushnnds. A picturesque ceremony takes place every year In Haute-VIenne. All the girls in'tho place on Uie day of St. Eu troplus file In procession to St. Junlen-les-Combes to the cross which is erect ed near the church to the saint. Each girl hangs her left garter on the cross and prnys that she may have a gootl husband and then gives wny to the next girl. The cross Is so smothered in garters of different colors that at a short distance It looks as though It I were covered with flowers. WOMAN AND FASHION Bntnrt Summer Gown. This attractive costume shows waist made with u chemisette com bined with a plaited skirt and Is coo und fresh In appearance. The mate rial for the model Is the white rep which is a close rival of lnen for fashionable favor, with trimming of embroidered muslin, but there Is a long list of materials which might be substituted. Linen is always smart and in Home of its newer forms, such as voile and etamlne, Is particularly so this season, while, again, there are the favorite mercerized cheviots ant A DAINTY COSTUME. the like, all of which are appropriate for Uie washable gowns, while mohair and silk nlso can be utilized. The separate chemisette is a most desirable feature, innsmuch as it al lows of wearing several with a single gown and making as many changes as need be. The embroidered muslin Is especially well liked, but lace Is also used, and fine linen lawn, em broidered by hand, is one of the smart est of all smart Uilngs. The skirt Is exceptionally adapted to washable ma terials, as It is straight at front and back, so doing away with the danger of stretching, which so often Is a detri ment The shirred belt of linen lawn Is dainty and pretty, but there are many novelties offered, nnd this accessory can uo changed again and again. Among the latest fads is leather to match Uie gown, made In what Is known as Pnqulu style, wide nt the front, nnrrow at the back, where It is buckled Into place. In this Instance the hat Is of straw, wIUi trimming of mull, nnd the parasol Is of linen, but hats In lingerie style are greatly in vogue. The Nerr Linens. The beauty of present day linen Is that not only Is it less crushable than of yore, but It is obtainable In every conceivable shade. The brightest and most daring notes of color pale pastel. tender summer tones and useful blues, blacks, purples and browns -are all used. Cnrulnf? Fashions. Henrietta cloUis and fine lightweight broadcloths promise to be smart for au tumn wear, and panne nnd chiffon vel vet will be among the leading mate rials to be combined wiUi the former. New French Blouse. Never have the separate blouses seemed so altogether fascinating as at present. The sheer materials which the Importer shows in such wonderful array make these waists especially at tractive. The creation shown here SEPARATE WAIST. could not fail to Increase the charms of any wearer. White crystal silk serves for Uie entire waist, while cava- ler cults and stole collar nre embroid ered In pastel shades. Narrow black Velvet In Greek key pattern gives chnr- acter to Uie bodice, and both of these decorations aro novel as well as Inex pensive. Applique, guipure or Uie pop ular spnuglo can bo used in place of the embroidery. A bodice suitable for formal occnslons Is effected by omit ting plastron and cuffs. The mutcrlal required for medium size Is four nnd a quarter ynrds twenty-seven Inches wide. An Astute Wen 1 her Prophet. 'When in doubt," said a southern senator, "we should imitate the exam- tie of the astute weather prophet. I'his prophet walked into ills inner of fice tine day nnd said to his Junior ierk, 'Well, how are the indications for tomorrow?' 'Mighty uncertain, sir,' the junior nnswered. 'I hardly know what kind of a prognostication to make out.' 'Oil.' said the chief, 'Just make It fine weather, wIUi local rain. Then if t is line we are all right, ami if It forms that will be one of the local nius of our prophecy.' " CHOICE MISCELLANY Gilts of Grent Folic. That gift of $1,375,000 recently made to Prince von P.ulow has many paral lels In modern history. Von Billow's benefactor had the excuse of being re lated in u distant way to the bene ficiary. But Herr Rebel, the Socialist lender, is today enjoying the- interest on $100,000, bequeathed to him by Bome unknown admirer to enable him the better to carry on his propaganda. The German emperor Is one of the luck iest men in the world In the matter of legacies. It has become a fashion in Germany to leave him money nnd es tates. Recently two legacies of $7o0. 000 each have fallen to him. beside--chalets, castles and acres enough to make an ordinary man n great property owner. During the time In which Leo XIII. was pope the papal see was made the richer by more than $5,OUO.O,..1. tjucoii Victoria had many and large gifts from her admiring subjects. The miser Nield left her about $r()0,(itH ii.tif n cen tury ago, out of which her majeiv gave $4,500 apiece to the three eveci tors and $500 to a woman .who ha '. once saved her benefactor from suici.le; also a window was placed to the mer.i ory of the miser In a church wlu.-c chancel the- queen rebuilt out of her legacy. Alfonso, the young kim; of S;..-iin. has already tasted the sweets of wealth conferred by an admiring Spaniard. Three million pesetas was the sum. Last of the Confederate t.'onnrex.s. Many of the Confederacy's s ns were very robust physically as well as in tellectually. Although aii its cabinet and its Semite have departed, a few of the members of its h;n:se of repre sentatives, survhe. The e, with their present places of resi.!ein c, are: Roger A. Pryor of New V ..-k city, A. S. Col yar of Memphis. William II. Tibbs of Dalton, Ga.: John Goode of Washing ton; Hiram P. I'.ll of Gumming, Ga.; John M. Martin of Ocala, Fla.; John V. Wright of Washington and Joseph li. Ile;kell of Memphis. Some of these served also in the Confed erate tinny, among them being Gen eral Pryor, Colonel .Martin, Colonel Tibbs and General Ileiskell. These are all the living members of I the Confederate congress whom the writer of tins article litis been able to trace out. though it is possible that one or two have eluded his search. It Is doubtful if the national congress of lMH-d.". which had a much larger mem bership than the Confederate body, can muster so many survivors proportion ately today. -Charles M. Harvey In Leslie's Weekly. MyKtcrlotis Router Islnnd. Dr. Alexander Agassiz. now expior Ing the Pacific ocean In the United States steamer Albatross, recently vis ltcd Easter island, famous for Its co lossal stone images, the makers of which have escaped the ken of history The barrenness of the islnnd empha sizes the mystery of its strange sculp tures. Mr. Agassiz says that it pos sesses no trees or native bushes, not even such ns characterize the shore tracts of the most Isolated coral reefs. The great stone Images were cut from quarries in tho crater of Rana Rorakn, In the interior of the island. They were placed on platforms scat tered all over Uie island and along the shores. The largest of the platforms is 450 feet In length, and behind It lie fifteen huge Images, which have fallen from their pedestals. There are al: j many ruined stone houses. Exchnnge. House of Commons Lonfcrs. Mr. T. P. O'Connor, we notice, ha.-t Just been writing of the house of com mons ns quite a place for "loafers." It Is a perfect forcing house for them. It would be startling If we could have some account of the many able men whose careers have been ruined bv the house of commons. Tho proceed ings this week, last week, any week. have encouraged loafing, lobbying. drlfUng nbout nimlessly In thoso who attend regularly and yet arc prac cally out of the debates. In fnct. Uie more Uie private member of parlia ment does his duty the more likely Is he to become n loafer. Saved Sister hy a Fish IIoolc. Eric Williams, the six-year-old son of Mr. II. Williams, merchant, of Fort Francis, Ont., was fishing nt tho lower dock at that place, accompanied by his sister Agnes, aged five years, when the latter fell Into the water. With rare presence of mind Eric dragged his line along till lie hooked the little girl's dress nnd so pulled her along In the water to the edge of the wharf, whence he reached down nnd nsslsted her to safety. Forest and Stream. White Mice on Suhmnrlncs. Three white mice are In each sub marine boat, and they nre entered on he payroll of tho fleet. These little creatures detect an escape of gasoline more quickly than human beings do nnd by their squeals and efforts to es cape draw attention to the fact that something Is amiss. These tiny but mportant members of the crew of A-S went down with Umt unfortunate ves sel. London Graphic. Mr. Ilj-nn's Clippings. When Thomas F. Ryan took hold of the Equitable he began to patronize a newspaper clippings bureau. They had to cut so many clippings for him thnt an Increase of readers was necessary, and Ryan was flooded with them. So le sought relief by having ouly favor able notices sent to him, and now they say he didn't get a single clipping for ten dnys. "Good cure for conceit." quoth Mr. Ryan. Boston Herald. Ilest Jfot Always Hest. It is u mistake to have Uie best. The reasons nre two one Is thnt directly you have the best of anything you have .closed an nvenue to enjoyment. Uie enjoyment of waiting or n wish to be realized; the other Is that one becomes sorry for those persous whom one sees stumbling niong with Uie in ferior nrticle. E. V. Lucas. When you go In to collect n bill, Uie man nt the counter Is less npt to In quire nbout the health of your family than when you go In to pay one. HUMOR OF THE HOUR Looked Like Concerted Scheme. Just as the curtain went down at the end of the thrilling third act a loud, anxious voice in tho rear of the hall called out: "Is Dr. Johnson in the house?" Half a dozen men Instantly rose up. "I mean Dr. Samuel Johnson?" said the voice. Five of the mon sat down. Tli en all at once twenty or more nthlotle young men looking suspicious ly like college students, who were sit ting in n baity near the front, sprang to their feet nud yelled in unison: Dr. Johnson Is no morel lie died in seventeen KlRhty-four! With a yip. yip. yip -.nd a yaw. yaw. ynvr And a rlnktum. lilngtnm. Iiaw. raw. raw! Yl! Oh! Oo-oo-oo-oop! Thereupon they sat down In unison with a resounding thud that jarred Uie building, folded their arms and looked nt the drop curtain Willi n dreamy, faraway gaze for the next five min utes. As for the owner of the loud, anxious voice, he had disappeared at the be ginning of Uie outbreak. Chicago Trib une. The nam's Fault. Judge You are accused of having driven your car directly against the barn. You made no apparent effort to avoid accident. Chauffeur -You do me grave Injus tice, your honor. I tooted my lwrn re peatedly and even slowed down to eighteen miles. The barn had ample time to get out of Uie way. Chicago Post. His Accomnjodntlncr Disposition. "Why did you quit your job?" "There was a fellow in Uie- office I couldn't get niong with at all, and rather than have any trouble wiUi him I got out." "Who wns he?" "He was the cr boss. Seems to me you're mighty InquIslUve." Detroit Free Tress. Eclipsed.' "T have here, sir," began the hook agent, "n volume containing fifty-two lectures by fifty-two great men. One lecture, for every week of the year." "Good gracious, man," replied the meek citizen. "I am married and have a wife Uiat supplies me with u lecture ever dny in the year"' Chicago Nows. lie Hnd Good Reason'. "What reason did he give for wish ing to break off the engagement so soon . "He said Uie report that lie was en gaged to me hnd not extended his cred it nearly so much ns he had expcctc.il." An Alphahetlc Confusion. "Is Mr. Scadds a man of scienUflc distinction?" "Yes. Indeed," answered' M.iss Cay enne. "He has so many college degrees that when he sends In his card you can't be sure whether It Is his name or a problem In algebra.1 Philadelphia Press. ' Kept Xo Count. Mother Mabel, that young man kiss ed you twice to my knowledge. I don't know how ninny times he kissed you nfter thnt. Mabel Neither do I, inoUier. I never was good at mental arlUimetic Bos ton Transcript. Could Tell Hint In a Moment. Mr. Munn E. Baggs Now, then, you know what kind of house I want. Whnt will It cost to build It? Architect Why um what was Uie amount you originally Intended to put Into the building? Baltimore News. Well Developed. Mrs. Pancnko (to a fourth floor lodg er) Anything Uie mntter with your steak. Mr. Hardup? Hardup A trifle overtrained ranybe, madam. But, really, I never saw a firmer muscle! London Tit-Bits. Terrible. "Why did Subbub toss thnt agent over the hdge?" "Why. he wanted to sell him n lawn mower thnt would play ragUmo while It was being pushed." Detroit Trib une. For Special Occasions Only. "They tell me she has a very nice disposition." "Well, I'm ufraid she considers It too nice for dally use." Cleveland Plain, Dealer. Ills Wny Out. Fond Mother Well. Mr. Crltlcus. whnt do you think of Mary's voice? Mr. Criticus Astonishing volume, madam! Its volume Is simply wonder ful! Somerville Journal. V h i rW Quite n Distinction. "If you will be very careful to eat plain food." said the physician, "you will enjoy good health." "If I have to eat plain food." an swered tho epicure, "I may havo good health, but I won't enjoy It" Wash ington Star He Asked For It. "Do you know that the coin you lent me was a counterfeit?" said Uie hnbltu ul borrower. "Oh, sure I do. You said that you needed It bad."