W LINES
' The Simplon tunnel through the Alps
has cost $20 for each of its 774.7:i(
inches.
On the continent of Euro e tlie hn
gesi telephone line in 742 nit'e- in leugtl
ami runs between Herlin ami I'aris.
The government of New South Wale
has sanctioned the erection of two
state Institutions for the treatment of
inebriates without means.
The town of Kenneth. Cal.. has no
Jail building, so it has put an iron
door at the mouth of a mining tunnel
and the tunnel makes a roomy and se
cure calaboose.
Greeks to the number of 1,500 a
month laud in New York city. A ma
jority of them make their homes there.
superseding, or at least rivaling, tin
Italians in many minor trades.
The modern bullet will pierce tin
carcasses of three horses in succession
at 550 yards, of four at half the dis
tanee. or kill a man after passing
through the trunk of a thick tree.
Signor Garofalo, the Italian eriminol
ogist. reckons that throughout Europe
1UHX) persous are annually condemned
for murder and that only one criminal
out of three is brought to justice.
Tlie longest distance over which
speech is regularly transmitted is be
tween Boston and Omaha. 1.C.00 miles.
A business house in the western city
talks daily with its representatives in
Boston.
Upon tlie spot where, the Grand Duke
Serrius was killed was found a largo
sappldre that had been torn by the ex
plosion out of a ring lie was wearing.
The tlames of tlie bomb had turned tlie
sappldre black.
Tlie new railway that is being built
In Arabia will pass close to the rock
hewn tomb traditionally believed to bt
Aaron's burial place. A burled and
long forgotten city was discovered re
cently nearby.
The remains of some sand that had
been carted from Lytic creek into San
Bernardino. Cal.. for building purposes
yielded $15 worth of gold to a pros
pector. whose experienced eye had not
ed the metal's glitter as he was pass
ing it.
One of the strangest of the many
strange finds in the famous opal field--In
New South Wales was unearthed re
cently. It was a fossil shark that had
became opalized. Tlie fossil is over
three feet long and eighteen inches in
circumferonce.
A bankrupt wooden box maker re
cently stated in a London court that
his trade had been ruined by the ad
vanec in the price of sugar. Confec
tioner and candy manufacturers were
economizing by doing without wooden
boxes and cases.
There are more suicides in Berlin
every year than In any other Euro
pean city, and the figures show steady
increase, growing from 4'M in 1!!i to
020 in V.m. This Is about :t2 for even-
lOO.oOo inhabitants. Paris has 2ti.
Vienna 23. Home 18 ami London K.
Out of 1.151 girls who have grad
uated from the University of Michi
gan since 1570. when it became a co
educational institution, only sixty-live
have died. Tlie census death rate foi
womankind in general for the same pe
rUl of time is LM5 out of every l.OoO.
A recent statement that the pro-sent
Ivary consumption represents the an
mial .slaughter of 2ti.Uoo elephants
denied. At least S5 per cent of market
ed Ivory conies from the cemeteries tc
which the eleHiauts have long resorted
ainl much of it may be hundred of
years old.
I 'ore Chnpet, who recently died at
Liege. Belgium, made a gil living h
coloring meerschaum pipes. IIi secret
was to smoke regularly but very slow
ly, uev-r to allow the pipe to get foul
or to be subject to drafts or sudden
change.- of temperature and never to
tiiiok out of doors.
The maintenance of safety in the ru
rai districts of Cuba and along high
ways is Intrusted to the care of the ru
ral guard of Cuba, a body of excellent
iikh. well mounted and equipped, nuin
lriiig a chief. 1C3 ollicers and 2.S5ti
men. It is intended to increase the
number of men to 4.000.
Our heaviest import for 1004 was cof
fee valued at $S7,427,!tO. followed by
sugar i which has hitherto been first in
value, hides, vegetable libers, wool,
lumber, fruit, tea. tobacco and oils, no
oilier product going over the $lu.nii),
mark, although a number, includ
ing cocoa and chocolate, came close.
The jostmaer general of Great
Britain has a .staff under his control
Irfgger than the standing British army.
The postal system keeps busy from
17.0i"Kl to 1N.000 men and women. The
IMothc is among the most profitable
enterprises in England. With'an outln
of !. mu.uuu it makes a profit of near
ly ii.0a.ui). sterling.
It appear- that the Turks did not ob
J-ct to the sale of P.iblcs !n Macedonia
or Argentina, feeling quite sure they
will convert no Mussulmans, but they
objected to the distribution of Bibles
with Inserted pages of revolutionary
and seditious matter. All the porte re
quires is that the IMbles Khali be gen
uine from coer to cover.
A the result of a severe illness Mrs.
John .1. G ruber of Norrlstown. Pa., lost
her voic over a year ago. The other
day she was startled to see a neighbor
rush past her house whose dress was
In Uames Without the least delay
Mrs. G ruber rushed to an open window
and called loudly for help. She lias
been able to speak ever since.
The Irish corporations have not been
forgetful of the press. The mayor of
Cork is the proprietor of a newspaper,
the proprietors and editors of the Kil
kenny Journal. Drogheda Argus. Tip
perary Free Press and Sligo Champion
have sears in their respective corpora
tions, and the editors of the Freeman.
Register and Nation are in the Dublin
corporation
Enrllont Nevrpnper.
The first daily newspaper was a
manuscript letter written by salaried
correspondents and forwarded by them
every twenty-four hours from London
to the provinces. That was in the days
of the early Stuarts. During the Com
monwealth these letters were printed
In type and circulated In lnrgo num
bers. Even ko long ago as 1GS0 the
law of libel was such as to be charac
terized by Judge Scroggs as making
any newspaper publication illegal and
tending to provoke a breach of tlie
peace.
WOMAN AND FASHION
Morulnu; Jnoket.
This charming design for a dressing
sack is ad.ipted to a variety of ma
terials, although, as here pictured, it
was developed ir. pale blue china silk,
accordion plaitel. The garment Is
shaped by shoulder and underarm
seams, and gathers In the upper part of
CU.UWIXO DItnsSINO SACK.
the front afford sullicient fullness. The
mode is distinguished by a deep cape
collar trimmed with lace insertion and
finished by n frill of lace. The elbow
sleeves are trimmed with two deep ruf
tles of the silk, further elaborated by
bauds of Insertion and lace frills, as Is
also the lower edge of the Jacket. If
accordion plaited material is not de
sired other fabrics, such as cashmere,
tlannel, silk, dimity and lawn, could be
used. The medium size requires three
and three-eighths yards of thirty-six
Inch material.
Selecting: n lint.
Alas for the woman with a promi
nent nose! Here is tlie worst of trou
bles with which to contend in the
choosing.
Many a charming shape wliich she
covets must be laid by In favor of an
other of more friendly contour. Her
hats must avoid severe outline and
must be worn well forward so that the
prominent feature will seem propor
tionately insignificant.
The other extreme Is foun 1 in tlie
woman whose nasal extreniltj Is very
tla: or small. She must not wear too
large a hat nor one which projects too
obtrusively, for her nose will retire lu
ine--e proportion to her exaggerated
liea. ; .ir. I "or her the best shape will
be ! medium or less than medium size,
with small tlowers. hort ostrich tips or
small bows of ribbon.
Huge picture hats must never bi
worn by girls with small faces even If
tin ir tigurc aiv sufficiently tall and
slight to carr them.
1.1 ii en Pnnifcol.
The linen parasols are new and will
doubt le-s enjoy great popularity for a
flue. Heavy Iim.u is used for the more
practical sort, and they are embroider
ed in i ry oneli lai terns or lu padded
embroidery, exactly like the linen
gou ns and wraps. The lighter models
are made like lingerie waists, very
much trimmed with lace and embroid
ery. I-Yw f them are lined and. al
though very pretty to look at, cannot
be of much use in keeping the sun off.
A 1). .!:! hi,- Model.
Such simple costumes as this one
made of silks of the lighter, softer sort.
a v.-e'l ii of the many chiffon wool
materials, will be greatly in vogue dur
ing the entire spring and summer and
an :ilw:.ys desirable. The model shows
uat'tr.t! colored pongee, with collar and
culls of lace, and Is exceedingly smart.
SIMPLE HUM M Kit COSTl'ME.
but the material is to be found in vari
ous colors, wh Ie the variety afforded 1
bv suitable fabrics is almost unlimited.
Invisible checks and small plaids form
ed by varying shades of one color be
ing peculiarly smart. Roth waist and
skirt are box plaited for their entire
length, so giving long and slender lines
to the figure, while the fullness be
tween can be either shirred or tucked.
Tor the me Hum size will be required
for waist 5 yards 21 Inches, 4 yards 27
Inches, or 2 5-8 yards 44 Inches wide:
for the skirt 11 yards 21 Inches, 10
yards 27 inches, or 5U yards 44 Inches
wide, with three-fourths yard of silk
for belt.
I'urndoxlcnl.
Smith You remember Muggins, who
used to bore us with his long winded
stories? Jones Yes. What of him?
Smith lie was arrested yesterday for j
being shore In his accounts. Chicago
News.
A Fort a no Hnnter.
Miranda Yes, mamma, Mr. Fargoln
knows thai: my face Is all tho fortune J
I possess. Bertie (the terrible) Yoh,
mamma, and when I sneaked Into the
room he was trying his level best to
get nt her fortune. Pittsburg Dispatch.
jTSf
F0K ART'S
'By 17.0LA MERRIFIELD
CajHtbt, 1904, by txola Mtrrifitld
It was nobody's fault but her own.
Whenever trouble came a-knocking at
Phillppa's door all kind friends raised
hands of innocence to the skies and de
clared thankfully that It was nobody's
fault but her own.
"lie had no earthly right to raise his
hat and smile when I met him in the
elevator."
"He had every right in the world,"
contradicted Elizabeth calmly. "If I
had been in his place I should have
come right down and called on you aft
er you had acted like a lovelorn lunatic.
Plppa."
"It was not lunacy. It was inspira
tlon," Phlllppa half turned from tin
piano to argue. "You weren't in fin
studio at the time, Beth, and you d.cit
know a blessed thing about it. I wasn't
even practicing. I was cleaning up."
Elizabeth smiled. She had seen Phi
lippa's cleaning up pro-. it meant
the hustling of everything dis rdcr;.
out of sight, tinder the dhan. l.dfijd
the wardrobe, anywhere at all. s lona
as it was unseen.
"And he sang my pet duet frun I!
Trovatore.' Beth, it was spVndid
You poor, old heathen, you don't ap
preciate music a bit. All you can tin
derstand are a few oily, dauby daub,
or a pen and ink sketch, but if you bad
only heard him"
"If I had heard h:m I don't think
that I should have down to the win
dow anil warbled back an answer up a
New York air shaft."
"I don't care." Phillppa's tone was
lofty and her attitude belligerent. "I
didn't can a rap about him personally,
and I hadn't the slightest idea what he
looked like, hut the voice was divine.
It was the voice of Manrico calling,
and Leonora answered it for art's
sake."
"Well, Leonora had better attend to
her cleaning up and mind her own
business. Nov.. sh. hasn't any cause
for complaint at all. because Manrico
raises his hat to her in the elevator an 1
says 'II iwd. V in neighborly fashion.
Arc you sure it was Manrico V"
"Oh. is. He looks it." Philippa
spoke, wirh vague enthusiasm. "And i
Lafayette says that he is the new one .
in the studio oer ours."
"Well, you had better send Lafayette
a in i;e pnuteii sup to post up m ms
elevator:
'Students may sing grand opera
duets through the air shaft, but any
promiscuous greetings in elevator will
be followed by eviction.' "
"I suppose thu poor fellow was so
amazed and delighted when he saw J
how completely 1 fulfilled his Ideal of j
Leonora that he lost his presence of
mind." Philippa could be as sweetly, i
simply and contentedly vain as Narcls- j
sus among the water lilies. ;
"Presence of mind is never lost." !
Elizabeth added a high light daintily
to the left eye of an Italian fruit vend- j
cr on tlie canvas ucTorc tier. "It is
mislaid. As long as he didn't lose Ids
heart he needn't worry."
Philippa laughed and ran her lingers
teasingly over tlie piano keys.
"I think he is worrying," she said.
But there were no more duets
through the air shaft. If the occupant
of studio fi, on tlie third floor, happened
to be practicing her trills and quavers
the occupant of studio 17, on the fourth
floor, sat by his open window and lis
tened, and when a full, rich tenor float
ed down from studio 17 Philippa would
tiptoe to the window and listen also
and be glad and proud in a way, lie
cause somewhere In the golden tomor
rows of hope success lay snugly and
surely tucked awaj' for the tall, brown
eyed boy who dared to greet Leonora
in the elevator.
He had "dared' only once. Long
after even Elizabeth deigned to bow a
comradely good day to him 'Philippa
passed on her own way, a slim, arro
gant, blond young person in gray vel
vet and squirrel furs. Elizabeth pre
served a graceful posture on the neu
tral fence. Warring factions were not
in her line, but when she was sending
out Invitations for tlie monthly Dutch
picnic in studio 5 she did not think it
amiss to scud one up to studio 17.
Philippa was passing club sand
wiches when Bobble Clarksou Intro
duced her to the tall, brown eyed boy.
She did not drop the tray. She merely
smiled most graciously and asked if
Mr. Eliot liked club sandwiches made
of n celestial combination of chicken
snlad, chopped almonds, olives, deviled
ham and tabasco sauce.
It appeared that Mr. Eliot did. In
fact, he paced after the dispenser of
celestial sandwiches all around the
studio in a deliberate, determined, man
overboard fashion, most disconcerting
to tlie dispenser, until he finally cor
nered her In the Japanese alcove and
forcibly finished up the remaining
sandwiches himself.
"And he never even said a word
about the duet," Philippa answered
Inter when she sat. like a Hindoo Idol,
in a pink kimono on the bed and
thoughtfully reviewed tlie evenlnjr.
"He's a gentleman and a scholar, and
Bobbie says he's all right; solid, old
Maryland family and nil that sort of
tiling; first name's Marhury Mnrbury
Eliot. He has only been lu New York
a couple of months, ami he doesn't
like It very well. He thinks It's lone
some. He says we're conservative and
clannish.''
"There's a good remedy. Tell him
to be a clam unto himself."
Phlllppa hled a pillow at the scoff
er. "Goose!" she said. "Can't you see?
He wants to belong to my clan. I'm
going to the Czarga concert with him
tomorrow."
"See? Of course I see." quoth Eliza
beth. "One Philippa Yates, founder
of tlie Society For the Prevention of
Lonesomeiiess to Strangers In New
York, providing said strangers are gen
tlemen and .scholars, from solid old
families, and can sing duet" and eat
club sandwiches for art's sake. I see
the end."
But Philippa only smiled and was si
lent. It had been a most entertaining
and interesting twenty minutes spent
:.. lut.iuifse corner,. Oun's oint of
!
view on life lu general may alter con
siderably even in twenty minutes.
It was two weeks after the Czarga
concert. Philippa came out of the
Metropolitan Opera House as Eliot
swung up Broadway. It had begun to
snow at sundown, and there was tlie
lull in traffic that comes on the great
white way between dinner time and
the hour when the curtain rises. She
was tucking a couple of "II Trova
tore" tickets into her hand bag when
he greeted her.
"They're for liclh and me," she told
him happily. "Wo live on strawberry
jam and crackers when the opera Is in
full blast. Do you know I never go
there but 1 wonder when my turn will
come, don't you?"
He did not answer her directly.
They had crossed to the Sixth avenue
elevated and were walking along be
side Bryant park to the station be
fore lie spoke to her.
"I am going home tills week to spend
Christmas with my mother In Mary
land, and before I go"
A vagrant wind swept down upou
them, and Phlllppa bent her head side
ways to avoid Its sting. As she did
so her eyes met his in one swift glance.
She was not smiling now. ner face
was aglow with a curious, half fright
ened expectancy.
"Let's hurry." she said. "It's so
cold."
lie stopped short where only an au
dience of sleepy cab horses could listen.
"Before I go I want to know if I may
tell her that next year you will go home
with me."
Cab horses are very discreet. They
did not even hear the answer.
"But It won't happen until next
Christmas, of course," Philippa ex
plained over a cup of Ceylon In the
studio that evening.
"Until Manrico has won fame anrw
fortune singing to his ladylove at the
Metropolitan?" asked Elizabeth.
Philippa stirred in another lump of
sugar demurely.
"Oh. Marhury doesn't sing at nil,
Beth." she said. "That was his room
mate. Orahame Moore, who sang the
duet with me. Marhury is an artist."
And Elizabeth, after one long look
of enlightenment, smiled In fashion
wise.
"For art's sake," she said severely.
"Fudge!"
THE HUMAN NOSE.
Kneln nml C'oimnentK Aliont Thin Most
Clinrncterlntic Peatnre.
A nose which In any way suggests
our ape-Ilke ancestors, whether snub,
flattened or abnormally small, la
deemed ugly. Generally speaking, the
long nose belongs to the people of Eu
rope, whereas the negroes and Mongo
lians have short noses. With the Eskl-
1 mo the nose Is said to be In many cases
so flat that a ruler might be placed so
' as to rest upon both cheeks without
I touching it. In the man the muscles of
j the nose have little flexibility except
j about the nostrils, which visibly dilate
I and contract under the Influence of
; passion.
Mantegazza has remarked that among
civilized people the nose Is nearly nl
ways deflected toward the right, which
he attributes to the custom of wiping
the nose with the right hand. Leonardo
da Vinci discovered that there were
over ten different varieties of nose
seen In profile and eleven when looked
at In front. Charles Blanc considered
the nose the most characteristic fea
ture of tlie face and recommended la
dles to regulate the style of their dress
with reference to its shape, and Lava
tor went so far as to assert that a
beautiful noae was worth more than n
kingdom; that it is never associated
with an ugly face. International Quar
terly. RED AND GRAY SQUIRRELS.
The
.'Mil It's of I!oth Specie
Are In-
corrigible KlKhtera.
A very quarrelsome disposition has
the chickaree, or American red squir
rel, and there are continual fights be
tween it and Its cousin tlie gray squir
rel. Those tights seldom end In a de
cided victory for either side. The males
of both species are Incorrigible light
ers. It is no unusual sight to see a
couple of red or gray squirrels come
tumbling from some lofty limb so lock
ed in each other's embrace as to appear
almost like one animal.
Though the shock of striking the
ground separates them, it is for a mo
ment only. They immediately clinch
again and continue to roll over and
over, fighting fiercely until one breaks
away, only to be followed by the other,
who keeps up a running light for some
distance until he feels certalu that he
has so punished the conquered one that
he will not dare return.
Bed squirrels by the.r greater agil
ity and quickness can worst a gray
squirrel every time in a running fight,
but let them once come to a clinch and
the superior size and weight of the
gray squirrel are bound to tell. Chica
go News.
OUR IGNORANCE.
Tlint It In Very Ilcnl the ThluKn We
Don't Know Prove.
After all arc we not still ignorant
of much which we feel we ought to
understand? Apnrt from the great
laws of electricity, light and heat,
about which we know something, but
certainly not all, are we not almost
hopelessly Ignorant of some of the laws
which govern the lives of animals? Do
we know, for Instance, what Is the law
which makes it possible for a bee car
ried five or six miles from her home,
blind In a dark box, to find her way
back to the hive? What Is the sense
exorcised by the antennae of the vir
gin mot li which, set out In a muslin
box on a lawn, attracts suitors from
woodlands scattered away In all the
country round? What Is tlie attraction
felt or choice decided upon by the
tendril of the climbing plant which
turns aside from tlie smooth wall to
catch at and wrap round the nail or
the ledge or the projection which Is to
help it upward? All that Is unknown,
hardly even guessed nt, and if there Is
so great an ignorance of what can be
seen, Is It logically to be argued that
there is not a greater ignorance of
what Is unseen? One tiling nt least is
certain the reality of that ignorance.
London Spectator.
All the performances of human art at
which we look with praise or wonder
are instan:es of the resistless force of
perseverance. Johnson.
NEW SHORT STORIES
Frnzier'H Grandmother.
When James B. Frasier. the newly
elected senator from Tennessee, was
engiged in one of his early political
campaigns he adopted the policy of
Ingratiating himself with his audiences
by remarking on the personal ties ex
isting between them.' Down nt Chat
tanooga he addressed a meeting of
Germans and referred to the fact that
one of his grandmothers was a Ger
man. A few days later he spoke to the
Irish-Americans and told how another
grandmother had come from the Em
erald Isle, where she spoke the Irish
brogue and fished In tlie lakes of Kll
larney. To the Hungarians he told how
another grandmother was closely re
lated to Louis Kossuth.
His meetings were largely attended,
and his fame as an orator spread. The
"HOSS, I WAS A IjITTIjE disapp'inted."
colored Democracy extended an Invita
tion to the stalwart young orator, and
he accepted. The negro loves flattery
even when laid on with a trowel. Fra
zler knew this and began his oration
with a reference to the history of Af
rica as the cradle of civilization. He
spoke of the beauty of the daughters
of African Egypt, of Cleopatra and of
the queen of Sheba. He lauded the
pharaohs, Hannibal and that "queen
of Abyssinia who once dictated terms
of peace to Augustus Caesar."
When he was through an old darky
congratulated him and said: "Boss, dat
sholy was a fine speech. Every nigger
what hears It will vote wld de Dimer
crats. But, boss, I was a little disap
p'inted. I been hearin' all you speech
es, and I was 'specllu' to hear yo' say
one of yo' gran'mas was a cullud lady."
New York Times.
A C'onfrreHMmnn'H Urenlc.
Occasionally an awfully bad break
Is made by members of congress, and
not Infrequently Ignornntly so. A few
years ago the Chicago district was rep
resented by a really good man whose
first name was Frank. He was not as
highly educated as a member of con
gress should be, but he thought he
knew a very great deal. One day he
sauntered Into the press gallery and
told the scribes that he had been on n
visit to a certain place over lu Mary
land, where his eldest daughter was
at sch.iol.
"I understand that It Is a most ex
cellent educational Institution." said
the late Eugene Speer.
"That's what It Is," answered the
congressman, "and I don't think I ever
saw a more 'decollate' affair In all my
life. It Is the very place to glvo young
girls a good education."
The scribes went out one by one and
braced up at the "Carry Nation." which
then dispensed the fluid unmolested In
the basement. Washington Post.
When Klpllnnr VInited Qua?.
When Hucynrd Kipling was In this
country he was commissioned to write
Impressions about the chief political
boss of the United States. Senator
Quay. KIpliug went to Beaver and
called on tlie senator, whom ho found,
as was usual, In his library. The talk
was about books. In n short time, so
It seemed to the British writer. Mrs.
Quay came in, nnd after Mr. Kipling
had been presented she urged him to
stay to tea. Kipling stayed, and after
tea he and the senator returned to the
library, which was such a one as he
did not expect to find In any homo In
America. More talk about books fol
lowed until, to Mr. Kipling's amaze
ment, the clock struck 11. Then, mind
ful of his commission, ho. made ar
rangements to call again the next day.
Going to the telegraph office. Kipling
wired his publishers something like
this: "Unable to find tlie boss politician,
but If you want It will write Impres
sions about the best literary critic In
America." San Francisco Call.
Only TeBBlnff.
A baud from Georgia, It was snid,
furnished the one really humorous In
cident of the inaugural parade, says
the New York Times. As It turned
from Fifteenth street Into the Court
of Honor to pass in review before tho
president it struck up the familiar
strain of "Dixie." It was a big band,
and It played forte. As the musicians
approached the president's stand the
thousands about wondered If perhaps
there were not Intended significance In
this, perhaps a rebuke for Roosevelt's
southern policy, perhaps but Just as
the president was reached the baud
broke "Dixie" off in the middle nnd
took up a little more quietly "Teasing,
Teasing, I Was Only Teasing You."
The crowd caught on.
Like a Whale.
"You cannot keep me down," shout
ed the great orator at a public meet
ing; "though I may be pressed below
tlie waves I rise again. You will find
that I come to the surface, gentlemen."
"Yes," said an old whaler In the au
dience, "yon come to the surface to
blow."
Thin people should bathe as often ns
possible in warm water. Warm water
is absorbed by the skin more readily
than cold.
CHOICE MISCELLANY
Milk Adulteration.
During the year 1P04. ITM&i persons
lied in the metropolis. Of these 2L'jr2
were under two years old.
Health Commissioner Darlington says
that one-half of the infant mortality Is
due to stomach or bowel diseases.
Baliles under two years old feed al
most absolutely on milk.
A high official of the health depart
ment says, "No doubt If we could get
pure milk mortality of Infants would
decrease ."0 per cent."
Milk poisoners and your scientific ac
cessories observe 10.070 Infanticides in
New York In one year thanks to you.
Many curious things have been done
with water. It has been transmuted
Into milk, but the transmutation can
not be extended Into blood. It turns
back to water, and men with water in
their veins make mighty poor soldiers.
England from her scums sent an army
to do battle with a tenth their num
ber, and It took them three years to
beat, although they never conquered
them. The Boers' blood ami bone came
straight from the soil through tlie cow
and the wheat stalk, while the veins of
the undersized English soldier contain
ed little more than water. England
came mighty near not canceling that
score. Let us. then, take warning.
By starving the children we are run
ning up a debt that may throw the na
tion Into bankruptcy. Henry Irving
Dodge in Woman's Home Companion.
Dlnmnl Srrnmp Xo More.
The famous Dismal swamp In Vir
ginia Is coming into profitable cultiva
tion. Tlie first company to promote
Dismal swamp was organized in colo
nial days. George Washington was one
of the promoters and the largest stock
holder. His company owned two
thirds of the 300.000 acres of the
swamp and built a canal to float the
timber from its property.
Little lias been done from that time
until recently, except by lumbermen.
In the days before the war the swamp
was a popular refuge for runaway
slaves. It is situated in the south
eastern corner of Virginia, and It ex
tends fromji few miles from Norfolk.
At its highest points it is only fifteen
or twenty feet above tidewater. Its
streams are so pure that their water
is sought by vessels going on long
voyages.
It was long thought that the swamp
was malarious and that white men
could not live there the year round.
This notion lias been disproved by the
truck farmers seeking cheaper land,
who are clearing up the swamp and
turning it into prosperous truck gar
dens. Lahouohere'M Tnle Out of School.
I remember some years ago tlie gov
ernment suddenly fouud itself In a mi
nority at about 3 o'clock a. m. Men
were put to talk, and messengers were
sent to the houses of the absentees
urging them to get up and come at
once to the house. Tho wives replied
that their husbands were not at home
and that probably they were In the
house, and then a good many of them
came themselves, fearing that their
husbands had been run over or some
thing of that kind. In the meantime
most of the absentees had been discov
ered and had made their appearance.
One of them said to me: "You know my
wife. Pray manage to throw yourself
in her way and tell her that you and I
had been talking about some business
in the library since midnight." I did
not hesitate a moment to secure the
threatened domestic bliss of a Couserv
tive, although at the expense of entire
veracity, for I had not seen my friend
during the entire sitting. London
Truth.
A 3Ionetnrj- Prohlem.
A man In Chicago has ."00 cents wliich
he can't spend, can't sell, can't melt
up. can't give away and which he
can't even keep. At least if lie does
any of these things he Is breaking the
law. and he hasn't figured out the an
swer 3'et. He is proprietor of a num
ber of penny-ln-the-slot machines, nnd
the ."00 pennies are the mutilated coin
that the machines have accepted in six
mouths without his consent. He can't
sell them for junk copper because they
are bad money, he can't pass them off
ns pennies for the reason that they are
bad pennies and might cause him to
pass some time in jail, and If he keeps
them he is liable for carrying bad mon
ey. Technically the owner of tlie pen
nies violates the law whatever he does
with them. Kansas Citv Journal.
The Ancient Sioux.
The discovery on an Iowa farm of
muny relics. Including human skulls
nnd skeletons, of an Indian race of the
existence of which there are no local
traditions and no other evidence lias
Interested and puzzled the historians
aud scientists of the region. Professor
Van Hynlng of the state historical de
partment concludes that the graves are
a splendid representation of the once
thrifty suul powerful nation of the
Sioux and that the graves antedate the
settlement of the white man. Black
locust trees two feet in diameter are
growing on some of the burial mounds,
which alone is proof of great age.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Enrcnlfed by the Sen.
Great Britain lost 14S.00G acres be
tween 1S07 and 1S80 by the encroach
ment of the sea and 20.15? acres be
tween 1SS0 and 1S00. A survey In tlie
reign of Edward I. gave the duchy of
Cornwall 1,500,000 acres, but the ord
nance survey some years ago showed
that this had been reduced to S20.500
acres. Villages have disappeared In
tho ocean, as in the case of Dunwich,
of which nothing remains but a mined
church on the edge of a cliff.
With the Illnjf on It.
Grayce Edythe Is pretty foxy. She
ft-on't say anything about her love af
fairs, but I havo an Idea that she has
finally accepted young Saplelgh. Gladys
In that case she Is apt to soon show
her hand. Louisville Courier-Journal.
Work.
"Anyhow you can't deny that Hewll
gus Is a self made man. Ho worked
Ids way through college."
"no certnlnly did. He worked near
ly every student in the Institution."
Chicago Tribune.
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
Conldn't See to Go to Sleep.
Georgle. aged three and one-hall
years, with his mother and baby broth
er, was visiting his aunt in the country.
When night came mamma put the
children to bed upstairs and for con
venience left a light burning In th
upper hall. The baby promptly went
to sleep, but Georgle, excited by the
events of the day, was restless and
could not settle himself. Pretty soon
n small voice came from the upper
regions calling niamnia, and when she
went to investigate she was met with
the plaintive request. "Mamma, won't
you pleathe put tiie light out? I can't
thee (see) to go to tlileep."
Xot a Mere Clerk.
Wealthy Parent What! Engaged
yourself to young Ta pester? Out
rageous! The Idea of a Van Junelierry
marrying a mere store clerk!
Daughter But he ln't a store clerk
now, papa. He is a gentleman of lei
sure. "Eh?"
"Yes; he's been discharged." New
York Weekly.
Very Queer.
"Mrs. Popley was telling me about
her baby today."
"Yes? I met Mrs. Noomar today, and
she was telling me about hers. She
pays it's just tlie sweetest nnd pret
tiest little tiling in the world."
"How odd! So is Mrs. Poplcy's."
Philadelphia Press.
So Bunt.
"I don't see how he can put In all his
time at golf."
"Well, I believe he's not busy nt the
office these days."
"Not busy at the office? Why. how's
that?"
"He's too busy at golf." Cleveland
Leader.
Twin Sonln.
"Jack and Vera came nearer fulfill
ing my idea of two souls with but a
single thought than do any other cou
ple I have ever known. He fairly wor
ships her."
"And she fairly worships himv'
"No. She fairly worships herself."
Houston Post.
Woman Way.
Gladys I hate him! When he passes
I slnm the door as hard as I can.
Her Father Indeed!
Gladys Yes. and when we meet I
stamp my feet.
Her Father You don't say! When
are you going to be married?
Lneky Children.
"Ah. madam." said the French maid,
"Ieetle Fldo weel not eat ze bonbons."
"The dear, intelligent little doggie!"
exclaimed Mrs. Swellman. "There
must bo something wrong with those
lH)iibons, Celeste. Give them to the
children." Catholic Standard and
Times.
Getting Ills Money' Worth.
Sensoned Passenger (on ocean liner)
Why did you go to the table and try
to eat a meal when you were already
sick?
Haggard Possengcr (leaning deject
edly over the rail) I have to pay for it
just the same, don't I? Chicago Trib
une. Ce For ihe Handle.
Enpeck My wife told me to buy her
a good broom.
Denier Well, here's one with a hick
ory handle warranted not to break.
Enpeck Great Scott, do you think
my skull is made cf cast Iron? Ken
sas City Independent.
A nin.intiafactlon.
"How do you like that speaker?"
"He is neither one tiling nor the oth
er." answered the man who Is never
pleased. "His remarks are Just stupid
enough to make you sleepy and Just
loud enough to keep you awake."
Washington Star.
Proof of Love.
Uncle Charles Do you really believe
Martha is very fond of her husband?
Aunt June now can you ask such
a question? Don't you know she has
hardly opened her piano since they
were married? Boston Transcript
In III Line.
She He dealt the defense an awful
blow.
He (unthinkingly) Yes; he was al
ways a blower. Yonkers Herald.
Stronjc Temptation.
"I thought he said he'd never speak
to you again."
"So he did. but he suv? I had a cold,
and he couldn't res:t the temptation
to tell me of n cure tor it." Philadel
phia Ledger.
Pnnnlntc Repartee.
Counsel I wish my client was hero
Instead of. as I expect, lying In bed.
His Honor Perhaps he Is better ly
ing In bed than lying here. London
Tit-Bits.
Subtraction.
A tencher In a western public school
was giving her class the first lesson In
subtraction. "Now, In order to sub
tract," she explained, "things have to
lie always of the same denomination.
For Instance, we couldn't take three
apples from four pears or six horses
from nine dogs."
A hand went up In the back part of
the room.
"Teacher," shouted a small boy.
"can't you take four quarts of milk
from three cows?" Harper's Weekly.