Bandon recorder., April 27, 1905, Image 3

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The Yellow
Flag
By r?. Frankfort Moore
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Cjj,ij rlj-ht, Wl. Jy K. Frankfort Moore
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F
i OR goodness' sake lot us cross
"over to the othor side of the
dock iiml talk It out." sail
l.eollrey Croysdale as ho
Flood with Kllioo Townley leaning
ugnlnst the mil of the Amazon. "Here
Is that chap Norman coming up as
usual.
"Oh. no; we are all right here." said
his companion, "and as for Major Nor
man"
"Ah. think that this is our last hour
together." nid lie in an earnest, low
voice, "our last hour -our very last
forever: Yes, I shouldn't wonder if
it would be forever, only-oh. KUice,
we can't part in this way; we must
have something more to go upon. Come
across.'
She made only the slightest possible
demur: It would have required a closer
observer than any of their foolish fel
low passengers to perceive the tiny
punt that beautified her mouth before
hlie followed him languidly across the
deck Jo the quiet side.
TiVv found themselves in their old
.retail ve altitudes.
"I Iw giKKl you are!" said he. shift
ing an inch closer to her and looking
down at her very lovingly.
"Ah, no." said she: "1 am not: I am
only --that Is I should like to well.
you know that I like you"
"Ufco mol Like"
"Yes. indeed. 1 do like you very, very
miHh. only"
"Ah. that 'only.' If I were going on
with you in the Amaxon I think that 1
could manage to cut that word 'only'
out of your sentence, which it at pn
cut disfigures, but owing to this con
founded cricket I'll have to go south
while you north. I tut vou will be
true to me. will you not. Kllioo V"
lie moved another inch or two near
er to her.
"I'll be true to myself." said she.
with some emphasis, "Cannot vou see
how wicked worse than wicked - how
ridiculous, it is for you to talk after
less than n fortnight's acquaintance of
my being true to your"
He frowned slightly and glanced
round to whore Major Norman was
languidly watching the diving boys.
"Hut you ill be true to me all tho
mi Hie." said he. turning again to Miss
ToHjiley ami moving closer to hor
two Inches this time. "You will be
true to mo and to yourself at the same
time. I wish I could persuade you that
you can ouly be true to yourself by
being true to me."
"Ah." said she. "if 1 could only per
suade myself, but that is just the dilll
euky' And. you see. 1 don't want to
pei'-imdo myself."
"You don't want to persuade your
self? Oh. KIHco'"
"How dense you are! Cannot you see
that tho instant persuasion comes in
the instant it is necessary for persua
sion lo emtio in.llii.ro ic coitoitliimr
wrong :
"Hut you know that I love you?"
"I kitow that ou think yu do."
"Hm 1 do. 1 do. with all my"
' "Well. 1 do bvlhne that you do. No.
dou't com- au inch nearer to me.
IJsleti listen to what I have to say.
1 tell you frankly that I like you yes.
very much. No. stay where you are.
It la oik- ihiag to like ..u very much
uh1 quite another to love you very
much, nim! until I tliul out that 1 love
yvn very uioch I shall -well. I shall
continue to like you very much."
He dkl not appear to he particularly
well tinned.
"What can I do to make "you sure?"
frM be. "li I were only going on with
yi at St. Thomas I might have a
cbawce. but here I am leaving you to
day leaving you today."
"Well, that's something." sh1 she
''something la your favor."
""1 heavens' lit my favor?"
"To he sure- very much in your fa
vor. You see, I rdiall be loft alone to
lkrbl out the matter myself, and I do
mean to fight it out to the bitter end.
No. 1 don't mean that. I mean the"
"To the sweet end?"
"Well. jMfrtinps" -
"My own"
At this moment Major Norman stroll
ed across the deck and ventured to call
ttoc attention of Miss Townley to the
three masted American schooner which
was coining round the point of the is
land. He wondered If Miss Townley
would like her camera brought up
from the saloon, but Miss Townley
said that she had spoiled at least a
doxen Hlms by L.tvlng yielded to the
temptation of snapping white sailed
schooners, and she thought that would
Kutllce for the present. Major Norman
then ventured to hoe that Mr. Croys
dale would imt forget to wear his col
ored spectacles, not merely when on
shore, but also going a.-hore In the
launch. The glare from the water
was, he said, very trying. Mr. ('roys
dale silently wondered if he should
(hid the glare as trying as he did Ma
jor Norman. And perhaps Miss Town
ley guessed what was in his mind, for
Khe looked first at him. then at Major
Norman, and pave a quiet little laugh.
Hoth men looked at her; neither of
them was smiling, ('eoft'roy Croysdale
wondered if that laugh meant that she
had already decided the question which
was in her mind. And that Is precisely
what Major Norman wondered also.
Then the steam launch screeched like
a sen eagle, and the last passenger for
the shore. Geoffrey Croysdale by name,
hurried down the steps and Into the
boa t.
When about twenty yards from the
pide of the Amazon, steaming ashore,
he looked up to the spar deck. He saw
that EUlee Townley was there, lean
ing over the bulwarks, watching the
progress of the launch, and by her side
was Major Norman. Major Norman
ahai seemed to be interested in the de
parture of the boat. Geoffrey felt that
ho never wished to see Major Norman
again.
Geoirroy 'roysdale had been a true
lover for close uin ten days. He was
the llrst bowler of the cricket team
which Lord Glastonbury was taking
nut to the West indies, lie hail come
aiiourd the Amazon with his heart
full of cricket, ami now he was leav
ing the ship to play (lu first match at
Barbados with his heart lull of loe
A happy accident, as lie thought, had
placed him on the licst day of the
voyage by the side of Miss Townley.
.who was sotting out with her father
on a two months winter dodging tour
of the West Indies. The ship had
scarcely got out of soundings before
he became aware of tSto fact that ho
loved her as he had never before loved
a girl, and he had done a pretty fair
amount of loving in his time. Only on
the evening previous to the arrival of
the steamer at Barbados- the moon
was very nearly at the full, and there
was n great amount of phosphores
cence in the calm water- had he sur
prised her. as he thought, by a dec
laratlon of his love.
She had listened and had actually
seemed quite Interested in It all, but
then she had tirmly assured him that,
while she had always inn him in the
way of friendship, he could not con
scientlously say that she could at a
moment's notice think of him as a lov
er; she would not go so far as to say
that It was Impossible that she could
ever do so, but Mill--well, the fact re
malned the same, that, although she
had boon aware of his reputation as a
fast bowler for some years, she had
known 1dm personally for less than a
fortnight. Yes. she certainly admitted
that she liked him very much Indeed,
ami perhaps f
There was no doubt" in Geoffrey's
mind that Major Norman was over
head and cars In love wjth KUice. Just
l;ke his impudence. Geoffrey thought.
The idea of an old fool like Norman -he
must have boon thirty-six if he was
a dav fancying that a girl like Kllioo
I'ownloy would think for a moment of
such a crock as he was preposterous.
Geoffrey made up his unhid that he
would keep an eye on Norman as long
as he could.
It was Impossible for him to think
with any degree of pleasure upon Ma
jor Norman's sitting by the side of Kl
lice Townley during the remainder of
the cruie among the islands. This
privilege was. of course, denied to
Geoffrey himself owing to the fact of
his halng to leave the Amazon in or
der to play at Barbados. Tho Amazon
was going on her tour through tho
northern Islands as far As St. Thomas,
collecting the mails. : ud would he
back at Barbados in a fortnight, and
as Geoffrey would by that time have
returned from playing in the matches
it Grenada and Trinidad he would
have an opportunity of learning from
her own lips if his Iropes had any
chance of being realized.
Critics said that he hail nev er bow led
more vlciouslv than he did the next
i
dav when ho took seven wickets of the
local team lor forty-eight runs. If
the captain of his team Vou Id but have
known It he would have encouraged
all his bowlers to have love affairs of
considerable dubiousness.
Geoffrey did not do quite so well at
the match at Grenada, for by that time
he had begun to think less harmfully
of Major Norman. At Trinidad, how
ever, he funded he noticed in the crack
batsman of the island team a resem
blance to the major. He took that
batsman's middle stump the third ball.
and the off bail was picked up by the
limp're exactly nine feet three Inches
ho measured It with bis time from i
the pitch.
He returned to Barbados In a fort
night covered with glory. And on the
iii.Tiiing when the Amazon was ex
pected to return to her anchorage he
rose shortly after sunrise and hastened
down to the sea front to inquire if the
steamer waB yet in sighs. He was. of
course, promptly assured by the men
dacious crowds of negro, boatmen that
she had been for some hours In the
ay and that nothing would give them
greater pleasure than to run him
aboard. Having had, however, some
predous experience of the barbarian
Barbadian boatmen, he 1 bought It bet
ter to make certain before concluding
to accent any of the kind offers. He
left the men clamoring on the bridge
and hastened down to the mall packet
otlk-e. There he learned that the
steamer would not be In for at least
another hour. He felt It. very hard to
have to return to break lust at his ho
tel. When he next got buck to the beach
he had his binoculars in, his hand, and
by their aid he had no d:lliculty In dis
covering the stately form of the Ama
zon swinging at anchor In the bay.
Hastening back to the quay side to got
a boat, he met an otlleh'tl of the mall
p:.cket company who wore a grave
face, but not nearl. so grave as was
Geoffrey's own when he was quietly
informed that the uewiyi arrived Ama
zon was flying the yellow tlag. having
boon at Martinique, where a case of
yellow fever had been reported.
"What does this mean?" 'he Inquired.
"It means that no one here will be
permitted to go aboard and return to
t'.e Island," suld the olllclal.
Geoffrey was dumb. .The Amazon
v. is In quarantine for the day, and In
tl e afternoon the steamer which was
to take him to Jamaica would leave
the anchorage.
Tho terrible truth was forced upon
him In a moment; It would be Impossi
ble for him to have the Interview with
KUice to which he was looking for
ward which had sustained him
through the trying fortnight of their
he pa ration.
"Was there o;er a more ridiculous
system than this of the quarantine?"
h inquired of the olliclul. "The stu
pidity of It! The antiquity of it: The
barbarity of It!"
'I he otliclal shook his head. It was
a great nuisance, he admitted, but
there was nothing for It but to sub
mit. "Nuisance: Submit!" cried Geoffrey.
"Ileaciis above! The whole affair Is
I rejrterons! Ho you fancy that I
will Nttbmlt to the ridiculous red tape
ism of a one horse colony like this?
Ho you really seriously think that I
will be content to remain in this steam
ing limekiln when I want to see my -to
my friends aboard the Amazon."
The otliclal shrugged his shoulders
and smiltd gently, hritatlngly.
"You may see them as much as you
please," said he. "but It will have to
be through a telescope. Bed tape or
yellow' bunting, any cohy you please,
w ill be sullicient to prevent your hav
ing any communication with the ship
that is in quarantine."
He took off his hat ' and walked
away. Ge.oircy hail ink ditlictilty In
pci-'civuig (hat he did not like to hear
I'.aii . alluded lo as a one horse
colony.
What was he to do? Was he to wait
for another fortnight --he should have
returned from Jamaica by that time -before
receiving his answer from El
lice? What else was he to do? He said
some further very nasty things re
garding the Island and its ovorzealous
health ollice; but, after all. this did not
help him to see more clearly what
course of action he should adopt. He
walked slowly through the blinding
white streets, through the dense mass
es of grinning negroes, to the Bridge
town club, and. standing gloomily at
one of the windows which command a
view of the harbor, he rested his hand
on a large brass telescope on a tripod
stand which was there evidently to en
able visitors to adopt the only alterna
tive to a visit to the quarantined ship,
the alternative which had been sug
gest oil to him by the mall company's
official.
In an instant he had adjusted the
Instrument and was focusing it upon
the Amazon. It was a powerful tele
scope, he found out by bitter experi
ence, for at the end of the tube he per
ceived as distinctly as though they had
been ten vards away two figures stand
ing, looklug over the bulwarks. The
one was Klllce Townley; the other was
Major Norman.
There they were. Just as he had seen
them last, only now she was talking
to Major Norman, full of animation.
Geoffrey had never been beside her
when she had that look upon her face.
She was listening, absolutely listening
with interest, to the stuff that that
bounder Norman was pouring into her
ear! In another instant lie saw that
Major Norman was smiling, actually
smiling, while ho looked into her face,
and then- great heavens! she was ac
tually smiling In response!
He could stand it no longer. He
picked up his hat and ran down the
steps of tho clubhouse, knocking down
a negro waiter who had the iniportl
nonce to be ascending at that moment
He hastened down to the quay side
and. without making any preliminary
contract, got Into a boat and told tho
grinning crew of two men to put ulin
aboard the Huniber. The Humber was
the name of the steamer In which he
had traveled from Trinidad, and It
was lying about two cable lengths be
yond the Amazon. They took the oars
with alacrity, and it was not until the
boat was well outside the concrete
blocks of the breakwater that he be
came aware of the fact that ho was
aboard the smallest and the worst of
all the wretched craft in the harbor.
It was as crank as a "dugout" and as
frail. (.Mice or twice ho feared that he
should never rerch the side of the
steamer for which he was steering,
and the name of which was the Ama
zon. When by dint of careful manipula
lion of oars and rudder he found him
self under the quarter of tho steamier
(lying the yellow quarantine tlag. he
looked up to the spar deck. There tl!c
were still, only seated now and with
their backs turned to him. and yes.
there could be no doubt about it the
two deck chairs were closer together
than ever; as a mifcter of fact, they
could not have been epier without
overlapping.
He hailed them from below, but It
seemed that they were so engrossed in
their conversation as to be Incapable
of paying any attention to him. Ho
hailed them again. Tho fourth otllcer
at the head of tin? hand rail sternly
warned off his boat. His boatmen
were becoming nasty. They reminded
him that their contract was to put
him aboard the Humber. and this con
tract they meant to perform. He had
said nothing about fooling round a
steamer living the yellow llag. They
had wives and families. He got
righteously angry and shouted back at
them to lie on their oars. They made
ji gesture that was full of insolence
and began to row once more. The
boat was drifting past tho Amazon
when under the force of the inspiration
of a moment Geoffrey sprang from his
place In the stern sheets ami made foi
the nearer boatman with the rudder
yoke. With a yell both men cowered
under the gunwale till their combined
weight at tho same side almost caused
the frail craft to be swamped. Geof
frey saw this and knew that his mo
incut had come. He threw all his
weight upon the same gunwale, and in
another second the boat was swamped
and he was in the water, striking out
vigorously for the hand rail of tho
steamer which was Hying the yellow
Hag. Ho thought he might safely leave
the boatmen to look after themselves,
which they did. They swam like lishos
and set about righting their boat with
easy coiitidence.
'.lancing at the Amazon, he saw that
the lower deck was crowded. Men
were standing by one of the boats
read to lower It. and there there at
the foul of the hand rail stood KUice
Townley alone. She had descended
even before the fourth otllcer could get
down and stood there pale and eager.
He noted with delight her paleness and
her eagerness, and then he saw two
men running down the steps, one with
a life buoy, the other with a boat bonk.
They paused at the foot. They saw
that he was all right.
And so he was. He swam to the plat
form of the ladder and. waiting his op
portunity, scrambled up on tho grat
ing, the water streaming off him in
rivulets.
He squeezed the water from his hair
and laughed, facing her.
She did not laugh. She put out a
hand to him.
"Geoffrey," she said in a low voice,
husky with emotion, "you are safe,
you are safe, thank God! If you had
been drowned I should have died."
He still held her hand and looked
into her tace. Then he gave another
laugh.
"nh, I'm all right," he said. "Clumsy
rascals, those boatmen. Let us get on
deck; I feel like a drowned rat." Then
he turned to the otllcer a step or two
up the rail, saying, "I suppose I may
go on deck without Infringing the reg
ulations of the yellow llag."
The olllcer laughed, an entirely unof
ficial laugh, and led the way up to the
crowd of congratulatory faces on the
deck.
It was In a duck suit borrowed from
Major Norman that Geoffrey half au
hour afterward heard Klllce say they
wore alone In the saloon "I did not
know it until that moment when I saw
ou struggling in the water, drowning,
as i iiioiigiu lor a iiorrinie moment
but then I knew - I knew the truth-
knew what was in my heart, what is
still in my heart. Oh, Geoffrey, I do
beliee It was always there."
He took her hand.
In lite I'oNlolllee.
A funny story is told of an Ox fori
man. now a distinguished cleric, who
had a passion for practical Joking. lie
was and is a large man, of solemn as
poet, and he went into a postollice and
asked the clerk if they kept stamps
Tho dork, with a tolerant smile, ad
mitted that they did, but was a little
taken aback by the next question:
"What sorts do you keep?"
"All the values, sir, that are issued
from a halfpenny to a pound," he re
plied, whereupon his would be custom
or shyly Intimated that he would like
to look at some penny ones.
The dork, with something of an air
produced one of the huge sheets which
hold some '20 shillings' worth of
stamps and spread it on the counter.
"There you are, sir," he said. "If
you want penny stamps there are
some."
Tho customer appeared dazzled with
the display and seemed unable to take
his eyes off the stamps. He lookei:
and looked, and at last, after a care
ful examination, which had compre
bended even part of the sheet, he
pointed to a stamp in the middle and
murmured:
"I think I'll ha that one, please.'
Tit-Bits.
CONGRESSMAN MANN.
Antlior of the Hill AliolUhlnK l'nnii
ma Omul ('nutiiilHNtnii.
Representative James R. Mann of
Illinois, who introduced in congress tin
bill abolishing tho I'anama canal com
mission and giving its powers to tin
president, won a reputation while in
tho Chicago city council as an enemy
JAMES K. MiUtX.
of boodle methods. He was born in
Illinois in isr.o and educated In the
public schools, at the I'uleersity of Illi
nois and at the Cnion College of Law
of Chicago. He was valedictorian of
his class at the latter Institution and
even as a young man won considerable
repute as au orator.
He stands high In the ranks of the
legal profession of his state, was chair
man of tlit Republican convention of
the state of Illinois in 1SD1, Is serving
his fourth term In congress and has
Just been ro elected to another. Con
gressman Mann was a warm advocate
of nlding Cuba in her struggle against
Spain and In the spring of ISM led In
the movement by which the Republican
majority in the house of roprcsenta
tlr was committed to such a policy. -
SECOND RENAISSANCE.
Another Itctiiil of Art. It Is ( liilm
cl. I ccIcil.
In order to reform our present stereo
typed methods of art we want a sec
ond renaissance. For long years we
hae done nothing but turn out from
our colleges young men stuffed with
useless scientific lumber, and they very
quickly lose It all. and there is nothing
to take Its place. This Is not to be won
dered at when throughout Kurope
there is such a neglect of art In our ed
ucation. It may be replied to me that
the inventions of science compensate
for the deficiency, but those inventions
are almost exclusively If not quite a
mere Increase in the power of the 1h1
ily senses and faculties the telegraph
in that of the tongue, tin? telephone in
that of the ear. the railway in that of
the leg's, the photographic science In
that of the eye - and these inventions
leave in Ignorance the more intellectual
part of the Individual. Your portrait
can be taken, your voice boxed up this
is extraordinary but tJy soul which
commands, the god which is In the
head, is forgotten.
And yet the means for altering this
state of things is near at hand, is be
neat h our eyes. We have still the same
nature that Inspired those anonymous
sculptors to give us' the Gothic; we still
have a sullicient number of Gothic
masterpieces intact- so many epitomes
of nature, as 1 have said to show
what can be done by the man who
starts with his vision open to her
teaching. -Auguste Rodin in North
Anuvican Review.
Holier! Hums' .11 line.
Robert Burns, though he had the
choice of such works as the Spectator.
"Locke on the Human Fuderstandlng"
and I 'ope, together with odd plays of
Shakespeare, which formed the staple
reading of his homo, nevertheless owed
most to an old collection of songs.
This." he says, "was my vntle mecuni!
I pontl over (hem during my rest or
walking to labor, song by song, verse
by verse, carefully noting the true, ten
dor and sublime from affectation and
fustian. I am convinced I owe to this
practice much of my critic craft, such
as it is!" All the Year Round.
The (Jreut Dltllciiltr.
"One-half of the world's happiness is
solved when a person learns to mind his
own bus! miss."
"Yes, tint it's (he other half that
onuses the most trouble."
"What's that?"
"Getting other people to mind theirs!"
Detroit Free l'nss.
I I - J . -
Tales Told
By the
Thespians
m M KLKANOR ROIJSi . who
ryi has made such a success
Ji JUL Aioreiy .iary Ann, comes
of a family of actors. Her
grandmother. Mrs. Kvelyn Cameron,
was a member of Macready's company,
and her mother. Madge Out Cooke, is
playing Mrs. Wiggs in "Mrs. Wiggs of
the Cabbage Batch." Miss Robsou does
not share the popular prejudice against
the number thirteen. "So far," she said
recently. "It has been
my lucky number.
I wa born on the
tlK'rteenth of (he
mouth; there are
thirwou letters In
my name; I was
graduated on the
loth of June; left
New York on the
l.'tth of August to
Ei.CA.NOit noitso.v.
in a sleeping car.
take my first ride
I made my first ap
pearance on any stage in San Francis
co on the following l,"th of September.
Thirteen was the luckv number of the
leading man In the company with
which I played. I made my first hit in
"Arizona" on the loth. It was the thir
teenth day w hen I made my first New-
York debut. It was followed the same
season by two other debuts, all made
on the l.'Jth. I rarely go to a hotel that
I do not get room R5."
E. II. Sothern. who is co-star with
Julia Marlowe in Shakespearean reper
toire tills season, tells a story about Ids
father, who was famous years ago as
Lord Duudreary.
The elder Sothern was a linn be
liever in the noisy audience. He con
sidered that tho play patron, if he was
p.Vascd with the entertainment, should
demonstrate his pleasure. On one oc
casion he was playing in a small town
where the manager of the theater had
recently been to
New York. He had
i.sitcd the Madison
Square theater, at
that time under
semireligious man
ag ment. w here dim
light prevailed in
the auditorium and
loud applause was
deemed deciditlly in
dei.orous. I he man
ager returned to his
I. II SOllILK.N.
town and gave a
quiet "tit' on what was "the real
th.ng" in New York theater manner:
S ithern and his company played the
first act without evoking a laugh or a
hand." When the curtain fell ho listen
ed for the customarv call, but there
was only silence -awful silence. Then.
before the second act. he gathered his
company and said: "We don't seem to
bo hitting 'em at all. Wo must pitch
in for all wo are worth In this act.'
Star and company worked like Trojans,
but apparently without result. At the
end of the second act the local manager
went to Sothern's dressing room and
began to congratulate him on his suc
cess and to tell him how delighted his
audience was.
Sothern interrupted him. "Don't guy
mo. ho said. hy. l haven t hoard
any laughter or applause.'
"Laughter! Applause!" returned the
manager proudly as he drew himself to
his full height and thrust his hand be
hind the breast folds of his coat. "I
should hope not. Indeed! There was
one man snickered, but we put him
out."
Joseph Jefferson tells the story of a
(heatrlcal manager who met tho repre
sentative of an opera company.
Mr. I'uroifal." said the manager, ac
cording to the New York Times, "when
you pi. iv at Ronoke visit the Hotel
Inncry. The land
lord serves a splen
did dinner at ."0
cents a plate."
"Thank you for
(he suggestion." re
plied the other grate
fully. "We play
(here next week."
"How Is this?" de
manded Mr. Burcl
fal a week later. "I
am charged 7." cents
a plate, while the
Oriental High Step
per company, which
josi imi .in vr.n
sov. dayed here last week, had to pay only
U cents?"
"My friend." retorted tho landlord
convincingly, "those other people charg
ed me but "U cents to see their show;
you demanded 7." cents."
Henrietta Crosman, who Is now play-
ng In "Sweet Kitty Bellairs. is very
much afraid of fire and has good rea
son lor such a teoling. Sue is tne
daughter of an tinny otlicer. Much of
lor girlhood was spent at posts on the
frontier. Oftentimes
her father took her
and her mother on
expeditions Into wild
parts of the country.
On one occasion
her father was at
the head of a bat
talion of infantry
and engineers sent
y the government
to establish a tem
HENRIETTA CKOS
MAS.
porary post along
the line of a proposed railway. The
troops had planned to erect temporary
wooden structures for their better com
fort during their sojourn at the point
and had completed the excavations for
the cellars, but were still living In the
tents, when one night a prairie tire
came sweeping down on the camp.
The soldiers were quickly ordered Into
an adjacent patch of woods to tear off
imbs and branches, and, armed with
these, they were formed Into a line
and advanced toward the oncoming
ino of fire. The few women and little
Miss Crosman were placed In one of
the cellars as a protection from the
smoke, which rolled over them In vol
umes. The fire had almost reached
the camp when a current of air which
came down a valley carried it off to the
right, and the camp was saved at the
moment when despair possessed all.
Years afterward Miss Crosman Was
stopping at the Baldwin hotel in San
Francisco. "Oh, dear," she said oih
day. "I shall never feel satisfied while
I am here. I have a presentiment that
something is going to happen, and I
am so afraid of tire."
She ueciiieti u leave ine notei on a
Monday, and the following night the
hotel was burned to the groimJ.
J' rank Ji.miels. who is starring in
"The Ollice Boy." was once a real of
fice boy at .S.:!: per mouth. "Com
edy," lie says, "is much more serious
than tragedy and in many cases is
much more dilHctilt to render effective
ly. Comedy, to be effective, must be
serious, must be studied, must be plan
ned out with scrupulous care, with spe
cific attention to the minutest detail.
The most successful comedy parts that
have ever fallen under my observati-m
were those that had been plained with
the most laborious
efforts and that,
although they may
have seemed to be
spontaneous, were
merely the result
of a careful and
s t u d i e d simula
tion of spontaneity.
There is a reason
for all this. Stage
comedy finds Us ef
fectiveness more in
FKA.NK DANIELS.
summon man ui
lines. The success of those situations
depends on the attention to detail,
grouping, tableau, climax and all else
that goes to make up the stage illu
sion. Lines follow them as a matter
of course: hence 1 say that comedy is
the most serious business in the world.
V young school of acting acquaint
ance or mine last summer probably
shaped his future career on the stage
by a remark he made to me, which
suddenly revealed that the young
man possessed a keen appreciation of
humor, lie came to mo. telling me
of his disappointment at his first at
tempt. I was to come on the stage
stealthily and say. "Hist"" he ex
claimed. 'And?' said I. 'And I said It.
and I was,' he mock pathetically con
cluded. I told him he was a comedian
and ought to be hissed for undertak
ing serious work, mid, he immediately
changed his course of studv."
Richard ("olden of Henry W. Sav
ages "i oinniou Sense Bracket com
pany tells the following amusing In
stance of English "as sh; Is spoken."
Tl . i; t..i , t 1 j....
i ue coiucuiau nau reiurneu irom a re
hearsal and was sitting reading the
paper. I lis wife came Into the room
and began twisting herself around in
an effort to see the back of her new
blouse. By the tense lines and pouting
aspect about her lips he knew that her
mouth was full of pins. He knew It
anyway without looking for those
symptoms.
"Umph-got wuff-
wuff sh-thbf-fsy f."
she said.
"Yes. it looks all
right." he answered.
"Owf-wuff gs-pf
suf-up-up w-r-r-roo-ghsth,"
she mum
bled.
"Of course It
does." he assured
her. glancing over
lUCIIAItl) GOLDEN.
tht top of the pnper.
If (tic 11 flia ionnr rt.i tlir "oll f"
UU1 linV kilC llJl,i is i i iwi ...4.4.
"Sw-ssh-uguz-woll gpli-m-mm-sh-p-z."
.he said, stamping her foot
Didn't I tell you it was all right?"
asked the comedian, lowering the pa
per. "Maybe it needs a little taking up
In the shoulders, but nobody could no
tice It."
Hastily lotting the pins fall from her
mouth to her hand, she cried: "I've
tisked you three times to raise the win
dow blind so that I could get more
ffght- It's a pity you can't understand
rlain English."
Maclyn Arbuckle of "The County
Chairman" before he became an actor
was a lawyer in the high grass district
ot loxas. He was a warm triend of
the groat humorist. Bill Nye. and tells
many stories of the quaint personality
and ready, bubbling wit of the littera
teur. Arbuckle has a copy of the pa
per which Nye edited m l or.itistone.
Ariz., and the sheet is typii il of Nye
filhil with sly digs at his fel'ow tow ns
men and with a
current ot humor
hidden in every
line. Tho follow
ing advertisement
appears in the col
umns: "Owing to
m ill health l win
sell at my resi
donee in township
IP. range IS, ac
cording to the gov
MACIV.N AKIirt KI.K
ernment s survey.
one plush raspberry o-nv. aged eight
years. She Is of undoiibu-d courage
and gives milk frequently. To a man
who docs not fear death in any form
she would be a great boon. She is verv
much attached to her present home
with a stay chain, but she will be sold
to any one who will agree to treat her
right. She is one-fourth Shorthorn and
three-quarters hyena. I will also
throw In a double barrel shotgun.
which goes with her. In May she
usually goes nwny for a week or two
and returns with a (all n-d calf with
wabbly legs. I lor name is Rose. I
would ralher sell her to a nonresident."
Purls Octrio lliity.
The octrio duly, so familiar to all In
Paris, is an import precisely similar In
principle and practice to the customs
duty paid on goods ent ring a foreign
country. You go out of 'aris for the
dav to visit a friend who has a charm
ing garden in the suburbs, and he hos
pitably loads you on your departure
with new potatoes, peas and fiesh sal
ad. When ou roach l'arls there Is.
whether vou arrive by rail or road, a
functionary who wants (o know "what
you've got there." and unless It bo of a
very trilling sort you will have to pay a
percentage on its esteemed value.
Lincoln Retort to Donglnn.
Douglas, meeting Lincoln on one oc
casion during the exciting campaign of
1SC0, made a characteristically unpleas
ant remark, saying:
'Why, Abo, I remember you when
vnn Tcfini nritliltif linr n -niiii elork In
-1 r I
a little western town, peddling out
goods at retail and selliug liquor over
tho counter."
'Yes." answered Lincoln, "the only
difference between you and me was
that I was on one side of the counter
and -ou were on the other."
-9
Gems 'In Verse
The Bravest Soldier That I Know.
The bravest soldier that I know
arrfes a wooden kuii.
The battles he Hunts arc lonp and fierce.
And he was never known to run.
No mutter how stronp the enemy Is
Or how loudly his cannon roars.
And such fearful things as bursting ohelhi
This soldier of mine Ignores.
The sword ho carries Is made of tin.
A mnrred and twisted blado
That faithful service has performed
In many a desperate raid.
When all alone this soldier of mine
Boldly set out to light
T i thousand strong, determined men
And inn them all to night.
A noble st.-d this soldier rides.
Faithful, fctrong and good;
It has no ne. d of food or drink.
For It (s made- of wood.
"h. they're a valiant, fearless pair;
Buttling to them Is play.
For this soldier, you sec. Is my only boy.
And he's four wars old today.
Thomas Holmes In Trenton State Ga
zette.
Is It You?
Some one's selfish; some one's lazy;
Is It you?
Some one's sense of right Is hazy;
Is It you?
Some one lives a life of ease.
Doing largely as he please.
Drifting Idly with the breeze
Is it you?
Some one hopes success will find him;
Is It you?
Some one proudly looks behind him;
Is It you?
Some one full of good advice
Seems to think it ruther nice
In a "has been's" paradise
Is it you?
Some one trusts to luck for winning;
Is It you?
Some ono craves a. new beginning;
Is it you?
Some one says, "I never had
Such a chance as Jones' lad."
Some one's Hkewiso quite a cad
is It you?
Some ono's terribly mistaken;
Is It you?
Some one sadly will awaken;
Is it you?
Some one's working on the plan
That a masterful "I can"
Doesn't help to mako the man
Is it you?
Some on yet may "make a killing."
And It's you.
Some one needs but to be willing.
And It's you.
Somo one better set his Jaw,
Cease to be a man of straw.
Get aom sand into his craw
And it's you.
Baltimore American.
Hiawatha's Childhood.
Then the little Hiawatha
Learned of every bird its language.
Learned their names and all their s
crcts. How they hullt their nests In summer.
Where they hid themselves In winter.
Talked with them whene'er ho met
them.
Called them "Hiawatha's chickens."
Forth Into the forest straightway
All alone walked Hiawatha
Proudly, with his bow and arrows.
And the birds sang round him. o'er him,
"Do not shoot us. Hiawatha!"
Sang the robin, tho Opechee.
Sang tho bluebird, the Owaissa,
"Do not shoot us. Hiawatha'"
Longfellow.
True Glory.
Man, what to thee is fame or pelf
"When thou dost own the evening stars?
Let all thy glory be to win
The struggles that arise within.
Oh. rather master of thyself
Than victor of a thousand wars!
Daniel Kcilcy in Llitplncott's.
zj
BEES IN WAR.
Two InntnncPM In Chieh the Insects
Were Cued n Weapon.
The beekeeper, holding it number of
bees in his hand, said ns he led the
way through the npinry: "Bees In the
past were used as weapons of war. In
the siege of Themlserya, for instance,
they played a very Important part.
The Romans In this siege made mines
in the ground, and the enemy, opening
the mines from above, threw In upon
the Romans bears and other wild an
imals, together with swarms of bees.
That caused the Romans to llee howl
ing. "Here in my notebook Is another ac
count of the use of bees In war. It Is
an extract from an Irish manuscript In
the Rlbliotheque Royale nt Brussels,
and it tells how the Danes and Nor
wegians attacked Chester and were
repulsed, thanks to the use of bees by
the Saxons and their allies in the town.
" 'The Norwegians.' " read the bee
keper. " 'sheltered by hurdles, tried to
pierce the walls. Then what the Sax
ons and the (.aedhll did was to throw
down large rocks, by which they broke
down the hurdles over their heads.
What the others did to check tills was
to place large posts under the hurdles.
What the Saxons did next was to put
all the beer and water of the town Into
the caldrons of the town, to boll them
and spill them down upon those who
were under the hurdles, so that thelr
sklns were peeled off. The remedy
which the Lochlans applied to this was
to place hides on the outside of the
hurdles. What the Saxons did next
was to throw down nil the beehives In
the town upon the besiegers, which pre
vented them from moving their hands
or legs from the number of bees which
etung them. They nfterwnrd deserted
and left the city.' "Chicago Chronicle.
Climate and Politic.
The climate of Australia Is the chief
factor in fashioning Australian poli
tics. If it is advanced it is because
the sun there has forced an enrlv de
velopment. Ciirls here reach maturity
two or three years earlier than In
America, and countries count by gen
erations. Meanwhile perpetual sum
mer and continual sunlight are sapping
individual energies. Even the Ameri
can who comes here soon finds that
sustained hustling Is a physical impos
sibility. Let him spend three or four
years in the country, and he will cease
to wonder at the laws for an eight hour
day and the early closing of shops.
The winter is only another summer
cooler. It is true, but not cold enough to
be invigorating. IHirriss Graham In
l'.ooklover's Magazine.
Odd Iluanlnn Cantoni.
Eight days after a baby Is born In
Russln Its hair Is shaved by a priest.
This Is snipped off In four places on
the top of the head to form a cross.
The baby's godfather collects the shorn
. ... . 1.1. M
i-'" P ""1 V1 1
me i.qicis. it is men uirowu into tue
baptismal
font. If the little pellet
sinks there Is great sadness In the
baby's home, for the Russians believe
that the child will die before a year
has passed.
a