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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (April 13, 1905)
•b O o >o C O O O pity that every city and town in the U uited States could not have just as euthusiaatic and conscientious work* era, who would join in making it easier for tile dumb animals that must *>>*k under the lash and abuse by word and deed for their faithful servitude. A »TORV OF THAQKERAY. ———— * • Cklld'a Mlffht raaaa Ti «a *la**eaa. • TMac’keray was dellthFful as a story Mlsv. -Oae »venlng I remember mam •aa give a dluuea party In bls honor. I was allowed to alt up till 8:30 «'clock Dinner In thoae day» was (M «30. When the party came Into the drawing room I was there In my new white muslin with a light blue sash. Mr. Thackeray took possession of me, much to my delight. I remember sitting on kls knee In a corner of the room, and he told me stories. There was one about a Uttle boy named Peter, with close cropped red hair and a very snub little uose and bright blue eyes. Peter was quite a character, and the recital of bls adventures was of the most In teresting nature. I twisted myself with delight. I laughed so heartily that Mr. Thackeray grew funnier and funnier. "You must go to bed now." said mam ma, coming up. "People want to talk to Mr. Thackeray." "Let me stay up,” I cried, clinging to him. "Five minutes more,” said Mr. Thack eray, looking at bls watch. "Five mln utes, and then she will go to bed.” He changed tbe nature of Peter’s ad ventures. They became quite sad. The little lad, I remember, was brought be fore the police, although he was utter ly Innocent "He seemed so plucky as he sat there,” said Mr, Thackeray. “The police said his head must be cut off, but he did not say a word. He looked like a small soldier. Ah, my lunettes got quite misty with my tears when I looked at him.” And Mr Thackeray pointed to his spectacles. 1 did not In tbe least see the Incongruity of the police cutting off Peter’s head or of Mr. Thackeray being there to see the little fellow. I was not laughing now. The tears were in my eyes when a hand was put on my shoulder, It was Reine, who had come to fetch me. Other guests were arriving, and all were waiting to be Introduced to the illustrious novelist. The sudden ter- ruination of the story Just at its most agonizing crisis was too much for my thrilled nerves. I lifted up my voice and wept aloud, and I was carried out in Relne’s anns and put to bed. As I lay weeping on my pillow, thinking of poor little Peter’s fate, of his Innocence, of his bravery, a shadow bent over me. It was Mr. Thackeray, who had come In to comfort the weeping child, and he told me that Peter was saved and that he had lieen adopted by a rich lady and that be rode In a coach to school. I was comforted. I sat up tn bed and kissed Mr. Thackeray. When he stole out of the room I fell asleep, to dream of the little red haired boy whose ad ventures I had heard.—Alice Cockran In Outlook. FORTIFICATIONS. They Play but a Secondary Hole la the Defense of States. A fortress spells immobility and dis pension. We should therefore look askance at it until proof is given that it has a definite purpose to fulfill in a reasoned scheme of strategy. We must not allow ourselves to be led away by the glamour surrounding a heroic de fense. We must look to the end and leave panegyrics to poets. We must, kt short, regard all fortification as an auxiliary and nothing more. A for tress, because It Is a fortress and be cause It Is ours, Is not necessarily an advantage and may be the reverse. If we gain battles we gain the enemy’s fortresses; If we lose them he gains ours, whether they are In the Interior or upon tlie sen. In each case the lar ger the garrison the greater the disas ter. Fortresses, and. In fact, all fortlfl cations, have never played anything but a secondary rale In the defense of stntes, and no nation has ever yet been saved by them. They can as auxil iaries occasionally assist an army and they can aid naval capital, wisely in vested and wisely used, to b<-ar splen did interest, but they can never re establish moral superiority when once it Is lost nor create it by the virtue at taching to its parapets if it does not exist. Over the portals of the fortress or harbor of refuge should be written in the largest and blacki'st of charac ters the words that Dante discovered over the gates of hell.—Military Cor. London Times. VALOR AND HEROISM. Proof That the Real Rrand of It El- flntn In South America. "Every country lias Its heroes, and it is refreshing to read something of the heroic In the history of the countries south of us,” said a thoughtful man. "In a history of Routh America atten- tlon Is called to a number of things which tend to show that the popular estimate of valor and heroism In that section of the world mny not tie alto gether the correct one. It Is related that once the Peruvian monitor Iluas- cur fought against three Chilean ships. "After both Admiral Grau and his flag lieutenant were killed Captain Aguirre took command, was killed, and then succeeded by Captnin Carbajal, who was put hors de combat by a shell. Tl.e command devolved then on T.’on- tenant Rodrigue, wlio was killed; then on Lieutenant l’alaclous. who was dis abled. and Anally Lieutenant Gareyon. with the ship on Ore. three feet of wn- ter in the hold and with a loss of half his officers and crew, was forced to strike his flag. On July 23. 1879. the Huascar was in action ngalnst the Chilean ship Abtao. Torpedoes at that time were not much understood, and one, being fired from the Huascar, through faulty mechanism returned back straight upon the ship. Seeing thia and knowing that If the ship was struck she must sink. Lieutenant Diaz Cansco jumped overboard and In the water with ills hands altered Its course just before It came in contact with the •hip.” ________________ Aa CAM Whlat Deal. A curious band at whist was dealt at Cfrimaby. England, racently. The cards ▼Ws •huffed and dealt In llie usual ▼ay. bu» when the players looked nt tbslr hands they found thnt one of •hem had twelve spades, another elev- *h hearts, the third man twelve dia mond* and the fourth eleven clulia. were trumps. “That woman has money to burn,” said a gentleman, the other day, gs a gaudily dressed woman passed. “Hhe spends mints of money on her clothes, too, but the trouble is----- . In the first place, she has no taste w hatever; she buys costly goods, takes them to a dressmaker who ought to be able to give her a few pointers on styles that would be suited toiler. But, no; she is afraid of losing her wealthy customer, and she coincides with her in all of her peculiar notions and she comes out at tired likes |ieacock, only she lacks the harmony and grace that the |>eacoek naturally poaseseee. I really feel that I owe the peacock an a|sdogy for com paring Mrs. B-----’»attire with its beau tiful mantle of glossy feathers. The styles she selects would lie becoming to a ltt-year-old girl, but she is so afraid of being thought old that she goes to ex tremes. I n the second place, she does not know how to wear her clothes when she gets them. Hhe never puts them on straight. If her hat is to be worn back on the bead she tilts it over her nose; if it Is to be worn over the face, as fashion has decreed, then she changes the style so as not to look like every body else and tilts it to one side. In the third place, she makes the grievous blunder of not being neat. Herclotlies not only look slouchy, but they are in every sense of the word. If she ball pens to lift her dress you will see a fringe of uneven lengths on her skirts; not only that, but they are seldom free from mud or dust and show that she has swept the streets with them—a great aid to the street sweejier, I assure you. Yet she is constantly talking of being afraid of microbes, and wants everything ateriliaed that comes into the house. She poses as a new woman aud spends the time she ought to be attending to her household aitairs in arguing her plea for woman's suffrage, etc., and it is just her type of woman kind that is doing more harm to the cause of woman's sutt'rage than any thing else. I have no patience with her. My wife does not begin to have even a tenth part of what she has to spend on clothes, etc., but she knows how to wear them, has taste and good sense in the bargain, aud, best of all, she is as neat as a pin.” It pays to devote time and attention to your attire, and every girl should be taught from her infancy up to lie neat and particular in regard not only toiler attire, but in the home circle as well. A place for everything and everything in its place. Nothing looks more un- tidy than to have buttons oil' your shoes or rusty and broken shoe laces. A 10- cent bottle of shoe polish goes a long way, and there is no need to have your shoes looking brown and rusty. With a little care, too, the gloves may be kept in perfect order, and no lingers looking inquisitively from the rip|>ed lingers. A young girl remarked in my presence the other day: “Give me nice gloves and shoes and I feel dressed. I don’t care so much for the outside garments, but I do want everything else dainty and sweet,” and I think she but echoed the feelings of many other girls. They will never lie caught with frayed skirts and rusty shoes and shabby gloves. Such a girl, too, is usually orderly in her home. If she wants a ribbon she can put her hand on it in the dark, and it is so with everything else she has anything to do with. There is a place for everything and there it must be found. It is easy to fall into a slip-shod way of doing things, and whenever a mother sees that tendency in her chil dren, she should bend every ellbrt to ward training them to do things prop erly in the beginning — no half way about it. They will stsin become thor ough little liousekee|>ers, ami l<s>k with pity upon those who are disposed to take things easy at the expense of their home and their own is-rsonal appear ance. The Humane Society of Louisville, Kentucky, are proving to the residents of tiiat city and vicinity that they are in earnest in their laudable work, and transgressors must sutler for any ill- treatment of their friends, the horse, etc. They have just had thousands of dodgers printed, in big, black type, with the words of warning, “ Please blanket your horses,” and every one of the 318 members of the organization is taking particular pains to place them in conspicuous places, where they may lie seen by drivers of horses. The (sist ers are seen especially on the river front and near wharf Isiats, w here the horses frequently stand for hours at a time, exposed to the biting weather. These dodgers, too, are placed in vehicles where the horses are tied to a hitching |sist while the ownersand their families are attending church. If the |ss>r animals, trembling with cold, could sjieak! What a tale of woe would lie heard, and what a scathing rebuke would be administered to those who were enjoying the religious service while their horses suffered on the out side. It wouldn’t take much time to blanket them, blit the owners are sim ply thoughtless — they don’t stop to think of the animals until they are ready for the drive home. William Tynan, w ho is field agent of the Louis ville society, sticks the disigers under the harness when he finds a horse un protected from the cold, and he states that usually when he calls the attention of an owner or driver of a horse to its sufferings, a blanket is invariably pro vided, and it is simply carelessness on the part of the owners tlfft I letter eate is not taken of the animals. Iawt year this society took care of five thousand horses. This is a good record. 'Tis a I knew a man who loved dumb ani mals, particularly horses, ami he made it very unpleasant for anyone he caught abusing them. He rebelled when peo ple would tie their horses th a hitching poet and leave them exposed to a driv ing storm that pelted them unmerci fully, while they were seated comfort ably in a warm church listening to the sermon, and time and again lie would untie tile horses and drive them to a stable and request the stableman to feed them. When the services were over consternation and alarm would take possession of the owners, until they would find the notice on the hitching post to call at such and such a stable for their horses. They didn’t like it very much, but still they never carried out their threats to have the gentleman arrested for interfering with their af fairs, and it tended to make them more careful in the future. BRIEF REVIEW. A Lost Invention. In certain classes of spectroscopic work a concave mirror is uses! on which are engraved parallel lines, sometimes 100,000 to the inch. Professor How land of John Hopkins University, a scientist of splendid mechanical ability, in vented a machine for making these lines. Its principal mechanism was a screw with an exceedingly flue thread that had to be cut and ground under water by a method hitherto unknown, which the professor taught only to his head mechanic. These two men alone held this priceless secret for years and ground out the machines regularly for the whole world, but did not grind out the secret with them. Then one day Schneider, the head machinist, died. Professor Howland at once set to work teaching the secret to another foreman, but before it was accomplished How land himself died. Is the secret lost? It remains to lie seen. Attempts have lately Is-en made to cut a new screw like those cut by Schneider and Pro fessor Howland, and the scientific world is waiting the result with great interest. If it fails the three machines already in working order will be price lean. Chemists and Theologians. The Chicago newspapers continue to lie deeply impressed from time to time by paroxysms of intelligence thrown by professors of the University of Chicago. They lately reported Professor Mat thews as declaring to his class in phy siological chemistry that “certain chemical substances coming together under certain conditions do and are bound to produce life, no matter what theologians may say. ” Why drag in the theologians? All that an intelli gent modern theologian would care to say is that God is everywhere, aid the creative energy penetrates and is coex tensive with all substances. Professor Matthews may liea lietter chemist than theologian, but if his chemistry is sound, it can vex no sound theology. Museum oi Peace and War. A strange museum has been founded at Lucerne. It is entitled the Museum of Peace and War, and is intended as a complete history of war from the ear liest times. The contents are war-like arms of all nations, Issiks, prints re|e resenting the horrors of war in their most realistic aspect, and everything that can throw a candid light upon a grim subject. The founder of the mu seum is M. Jean de Bloch, a wealthy Pole, who is philanthropic, and per haps a trifle eccentric, ami he has chosen Lucerne for the site as living the place most likely to attract the largest number of cosmopolitan VÍHÍ- tors. Division of Crops. 11 has lieen figured out that if the 1904 crops were equally divided every man, woman and child in the United States would receive 1 barrel of flour, 200 eggs, 140 quarts of milk, 1 bushel of apples and 2] bushels of other fruitsand ber ries, 3 bushels of potatoes and 2 bushels of carrots, beets, parsnips and turnips, 11 heads of cabbage, 28 bushels of corn, 70 pounds of cotton, (i pounds of wool for clothes and enough leather for two |>airs of shoes. Microbes by Millions. In the course of an interesting talk on the subject of London fogs, Sydney Brooks makes some surprising state- J menta concerning the quality of air that Ixindoners are compelled to breathe. “ For every microbe that you fimi in ! mid-ocean air you find 13,000 in the at-1 mosphere of the four-mile ratlins. ' Among mountains, you inhale with I every cubic inch of air 31,000 particle*; in London 10,000,000. ” Famous Sprinter a Pauper. Bill “Crow-Catcher” Lang, one of the greatest long-distance runners the world has ever seen, is an inmate of the almshouse at Salford, England, a <le- •erepit, withered old man. His record of 9 minutes IIJ seconds for two miles, made in IMS, is still the professional record. Remarkable Old Man. One of the most remarkable old men in the old world is Saikali Imamedda, regimental ohaplain of the Eighteenth Bengal Infantry in the English army. He is 130 years old and can still read without glasses. Magistrate — Ah. they have* caftght you drunk again, eh? Hobo—No. yer honor; impersonatin' an office^ dia time. I guess dey caught me asleep in ■ door way.—Philadelphia Press. o « O O BAÑDON RECORDER. tas« O O O s O •.VASliINGTON LETTER HUMOR «F THE HOUR FACTS IN FEW LINES ISp« 3a I Correspondence ! Reptasentative Tirrell of ^lussacha- •ejts introduced in tbe bouse a bill pro viibag for tbv^urcbase by tlie gAvern- u*nt of tlie fun length portrait of the late Presidept kIcKl*ley by Charles Ayer Whipple, tli> well known Ameri cun artiM. It proposed to place the |ainline, w hich was made shortly be fore Mr. McKinley's death, either tn tlie White House, where han* the por traits of many of the presidents, or in the capitol building. The painting has been placed In the marble room of the senate, where It at tracts considerable attention from sen ators and visitors. Displayed In an ex cellent light, the huge canvas, In a heavy gold frame, is u striking object. The likeness Is excellent, especially the figure, which [ossesses the character istics of President McKinley so famil iar to those who knew him. President McKinley is represented standiug beside a desk upon which, with his hand resting upon it, is the treaty of peace with Spain. The sig- nature Is quite plain and la a fuithful reproduction of Mr. McKinley’s hand writing. The face Is thoughtful and shows some lines of care. The desk which Is portrayed in the picture was presented to this government by the lute Queen Victoria and Is made of timbers of the ship Resolute. A SSv..n« Hint. I HEOi EAX STEAMERS Senator l’ettus of Alabama Is eighty- four years old and has never been known to take medicine since he came to Washington. She—We are to have some music and "How do you keep so well?” asked Sergeant at Arms Ransdell, who has a a little supper next Thursday evening little apothecary shop for the benefit of I hope you can come. He—The music will be rendered be senators. "Don’t you ever see a doc fore supper, I suppose. tor?" She—Ob, yes. "Oh. yes, I see a doctor,” Senator Pet He—Well, you may expect me, but- tus said. “I go and talk with my physi cian frequently. He gives me prescrip er—I may be a little late. tions, and I never have ’em filled, and All Outlet. consequently I always feel good.” Teacher—Who was that who laughed Wolf llantlna In Texan. Cecil Lyon, national committeeman aloud? Pupil—I did, sir. but I didn't mean of the Texas Republicans, was recent ly In Washington to remind President to do It Teacher—You didn’t mean to do it? Roosevelt of an attraction awaiting Pupil— No, sir; I laughed in my sleeve, him on Ills southern trip. Cecil Lyon desires to introduce the president to a and I did not know there was a bole in sport he himself Invented—the hunting my elbow.—Boston Transcript of big timber wolves with home and An Eye to Boilneu. bound. Head of the Firm—I was Just going President Roosevelt has experienced to discharge that bookkeeper when be about nil the perils and Joys of sports married a rich widow. manship in the field and by stream, but Friend—Well, it's all the easier now. Cecil Lyon has promised him a sensa "Heavens! I wouldn’t do it for any tion that shall surpass all his experi thing now. We need her money in the ence If he will promise to ride over the business.”—Brooklyn Life. Texas prairie after the only pack of wolfhounds In that state. Mot Illa. Monanienf For Gridley, “I don't see why Peckham should Senator Alger recently Introduced a make n poor mouth all the time. He bill appropriating «5.000 for the erec commands a good salary every week of tion of a monument to the memory of his life.” Captain C. V. Gridley, who command "He may command It, but his wife ed Admiral Dewey's flagship Olympia demands It every week.”—Philadelphia at the battle of Manila Bay. Press. In connection with tlie presentation A Dlnndvantaae. of the bill Senator Alger had read a let "I suppose tbe czar was thankful for ter written by Mrs. Gridley to Presi dent Roosevelt. In this letter Mrs. one thing at least when those bullet* Gridley stated that she Is working as whistled over his head.” "What was that?” a clerk in one of the executive depart "Thankful thnt he wasn't any taller.’ ments of Washington and Is financial ly unable to erect the monument her —Cleveland Plain Dealer. self. She therefore asks the president After the Consultation. to exercise his Influence in the Interest "Well, Drs. Brown and Smith are go of the monument. Ing to operate upon old Gotrox.” Wanted the Priace. "Is the operation necessary?” A stranger sauntered up to the west "Why, yes; Brown has a note coming door of tbe house the other day, calling due, and Smith wnnts an automobile.'' for the prince. Doorkeeper Wiley has —Puck. tened Inside and soon brought out the Illinois representative. How They Differ. "Who wanted Mr. Prince?” he asked, Roftleigh— What’s the difference lie looking Into the faces of a score of tween a homeopath and an allopath? waiting people. Hardhead—A difference of opinion "I," said th* tai! stranger, peering usually. Yopkers Herald curiously at the Illinoisan. "You are not the man.” he added aft The Mirror'« Philosophy. er taking another look. A mirror met hy chance a window pane. "Well. I'm the only Prince on the "Good friend," the latter begged, "car explain floor,” replied the member from Illinois. Why you our good mistress lavishes on you “Oh. I see,” rejoined the stranger. "I Such loving care and such devotion true. want the rea.1 thing. I said the prince." While I, though ever eager for a chance am seldom favored with e The doorkeeper, who had overheard To serve, glance?" the colloquy, then hastened Inside again "The reason, gossip, is not far to seek,’’ to bring out Prince Jonah Kuhio Ka- Replied the mirror as he rose to speak. Inninnaole, formerly of the reigning "Through you each day her neighbors charms are shown; house of Hawaii. I, wiser, tell of nothing but her own." CARL SCHOFIELD. —Lippincott's Magazine. In 1890 tbe last Instance of boiling to dMth took place in ^rsia. Copper money iu France Is being gr^lually replaced bp aluminium bronze pennies of a pale yellow color. The great beat and drought In Franre, Italy and Spain last summer are said to have injured the pros(>ects of the next erop of oBves. In every seventy years the average Dian grows a beard twenty-five feet long, hair almost fifty feet long and nails twenty-three feet long. The attempt to reacb the summit of Mount Everest, in the Himalayas, In 1DU2 having failed, a new exjiedltiou Is to leave Europe in June for another trial. A veteran of the National home at Togus, Me., baa sent President lloose velt a sofa pillow decorated with ills own needlework. This man is eighty years old und works without glasses. While chopping at Munroe, Conn- Patrick Gorman felled a hollow maple tree which was the temporary home of a coon weighing seventeen pounds. The pelt is now among Gorman's prized pos sessions. A writer In the Lancet says In regard to some American cities that "the pre vention of public amusements on Bun days seems to them to be much more Important than the prevention of the pollution of rivers.” At present New Zealand is distinctly an agricultural and dairying colony, but recent investigations by engineers as to tbe possibilities of deriving elec tric power from river and waterfalls Indicate that It may become a great manufacturing center. The best lunguage for making love Is said to lie the Manx, because it lias ninety-seven ways In which to say "my sweetheart.” The Irish language Is a close second In the number of endear ing terms, however, and lias the added advantage that most of these words are extremely soft and euphonious. An English policeman tbe other day found a tramp asleep In a field near Accrington. When arrested the man begged not to lie sent to Jail, saying It was "so drafty In prison.” He was known to the police as a man who could sleep standing or walking, but pre ferred to sleep in an open field regard less of rain or snow. The Albambra Music bull, Loudon, placed at its door a box with a slot in It for the receipt of suggestions from patrons for tbe name of a new exhibi tion to be given. When tbe box was finally opened a number of coins were found in It, contributed by people who thought it had been placed at the door for some charitable purpose. A farmer at Brokenback, near Mai don. In Victoria, while plowing recently turned up a nugget of gold weighing fifty-two and three-quarter ounces. The country is chiefly granite, and gold was not known to exist In the neighborhood. Quartz was attached to the nugget, al though In places It was water worn. No further discoveries have been made. There are in London 2.711 cab propri etors, and of these 2,224 own fewer than five vehicles. As you see, it Is a poor man's industry. There is only one large eompuuy—the London Improved ('ah company, which owns 500 cabs, In the main, then, the small proprietor —tbe "mush”—who owns a few cabs and drives one himself controls the trade. A clergyman at Hiawatha, Kan- preached a sermon on "Giving" recent ly. He said that he did not want a single member of his congregation to give a cent to any missionary cause as long as he owed a cent to any man at home. He further stated that it was necessary to pay one's debts with one's business associates before paying them to the heathen. It has been found Impossible to pre serve in any way the skin of the great Indian rhinoceros which recently died In the London zoological gardens after a residence there of Just forty years. The carcass was handed to the taxider mists, by whom it was skinned, but In consequence of its poor condition the idea of mounting It was altogether out of the question. A feature of the low street life in To- kyo is the "kuislia,” or "moxa” doctor, who applies small pads made of certain dried herbs to the skin. These he sets afire, the ensuing blisters being sup posed to lie most effective as a cure for various ailments. Among the doctor’s remedies are rhinoceros pills, warrant ed a sure cure for tightness of the chest, gnashing of the teeth and de pression of spirits. The petroleum lieariug strata show remarkable resemblance In formation and composition the world over. Ev erywhere they are bituminous clay shales and variegated clays Interstrati fled with sandstones and conglomer ates. Lhmwtones. which may occur in such series, contain tarry materials, but rarely true petroleum, the only not able exception lielng tbe Trenton lime stone of Ohio and Indiana. Curious atmospheric conditions pre vailed in Switzerland at tbe beginning of this year. While the valleys were shrouded In dense, cold mists the re glons above a thousand yards In ele vation bad a blue sky and sunshine so warm tU.it uwit-tou'u off their coats t work. Strawlierrles and aljienroees were In bloom. The practice of keep ing the mountain hotels open In win ter Is coming more and more Into vogue. The Primrose league, founded by English Tories in honor of Lord Beac onsfield, Is twenty-one years old. hav ing risen from an original membership of 957 to 1,(180,387. It Is peculiar as being tbe first great political organlza tlon to Invite the participation of worn en In Its membership and to some ex tent In Its management. Avowedly carried on to support Conservative lead ers. of course. It rarely discusses and never criticises their action. A naval officer one day noticed two sailors In earnest confab. One of them was imparting- Information to bis com panion of a very agreeable nature, judging from his beaming countenance. The officer in relating the Incident says the manner of the speaker amused him very much. As he passed by the All She .Wanted. man raised his voice, with the unmis "Do you think, young man, that yog takable intention of being overheard, Could give my dni*bter all she asks saying to bls companion: for?” questioned papa grtmly. “I mean to give up this seafaring life “I—aw thl*k so, air,” giurmured the when my time Is out. I am going to lover bashfully. "She says she wants marry a rich widow woman, the dere only I*».” lict ef a butcher.” Teat possesses wonderful antiseptic and preservative qualities owing to the presence of tannin, iron and other sub stances In it. Here is an Instance: At the time of the covenanters, in 1085, three men were shot at a place called Crossgelloch on the moors above Old Wooden Rh.sa.atlam. Cumnock, in Scotland. In 1825, when a monument was being erected to their “And you Bay the rheumatism'! In memory, tlie workmen came upon the your left lag. colonel?" "It la, sir.” corpses rolled In their plaids. The bod ies were in exactly the same state ns "Why; that’s your wooden leg!” when they were burled. The nFiss bad "I know It, sir," replied the colonel. preserved them as If they bad lieen eui "That makes It all the harder.*’—Atlan ba lined. ta Constitution. The Swayne Trial. A marked lack of solemn ceremonial will attend the Swayne Impeachment trial In the senate. Even that deliber ate body has not the time or the in clination to observe the forms that have marked some of the fumous Impeach ment trials of the past. It is probable tliut the Swayne ease will be conduct ed with the same simplicity and lack of show that mark the ordinary court of justice In this country. It was not so in the days when the republic was young. The impeachment trial of Jus tice Samuel Chase of the United States supreme court was a notable affair. Rare Collection of Silver. At the German embassy in Washing ton there is now perhaps the finest and most complete collection of silver- frames, sconces, mirrors and every manner of tableware and drawing room ornament—to be found in the world. They are the property of Ambassador von Sternburg and are the oldest au thenticated and registered productions of tlie ancient Saxon and Bavarian sil versmiths. Many of the pieces bear date of 1430. The silver came Into the bouse of Von Sternburg as spoils of war. One of the direct progenitors of the ambassador was In command of an army division of that elector of Saxony who espoused the cause of Luther and laid siege to several cith'S of the Holy Roman Em pire. This General von Sternburg re ceived the entire silver treasures of a great monastic establishment on tbe lower Rhine, and they may be seen to day In the home of the kaiser’s repre sentative at Washington. fllere are degrees and varieties of bints. Philip «tn only *jx; but. provid ed the hint wen atrotig enough, he was able to recognise oue when M case bls ,w*i*. , * * Oue day he ha<t been visitlug bls grandmother. (>u his returu his moth er askixl the boy if he had bad a pleas ant day. "Yes,” replied l'iiili|\ with a deep *th. "I had a dandy time, but I wish grandma wouldn’t give such awfully strong hints.” "Why, dear, what kind of a hint did she give you?” "Well,” breathed the little chap in- dlguautly, "Just before supper time she Bald, 'Well, Philip, don't you think it’s Just aliout time you were going home?' ”—Lippincott’s Magazine. Ills Favorite, "Whut's your favorite occupation these days?” "Distilling.” “Why, 1 didn't know you were a dis tiller.” "I'm not!” "Then why do you say you are fond of the occupation?” “Because I appreciate the product!”— New Orleans Timed-Democrat. Ancient Hnnior, Achilles had just been wounded in the heel. "Cheer up,” Bald Agamemnon. “Ho!” responded Achilles. “I sup pose you want me to go to a cheerupo- diet.” This shows that the great warrior bad a lead of humor running through him.—Judge. Plenty of Slttlna Places. Clara—You don’t mean to say you have been out skating all the after noon! I should think you'd be awfully tired. I suppose there was no place where you could sit down. Kate—Oh, yes, there were places all over the pond. I used them all. I guess. —Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. A Born Diplomat. Pettu«* Idea of Doctor«. Tautology. Teacher—What is tautology? Boy- Repetition. Teacher—(live me an ex ample. Boy—We are going io have sheep's head for dinner, and,my sister Elsie's young man Is coming to dinner also. Teacher—Go up top. FLOATING CITIES WITH A VARIETY OF OCCUPATIONS. The IlhrriiuR til Industry and the Trade* and >*rufeoalone That Are Hrpreaenlrd la Ihr Crew or a «.real Atlantic Liner. Tbe great Atlantic liners have ofteu been descritied as floating cities, un* tn at least one particular the compari son is entirely accurate—that la to say. In the variety of occupations represent ed on shipboard. A big steamship will In her flight from laud to land carry a • population of ¡H-rbaps 2,000, of whom the majority, of course, are passengers -people of all professions and hues of business. Leaving passengers out of account, however, uud considering only the 500 or thereabouts who go to make up tlie liner's crew, one will eas ily find representatives of nearly all the trades of u thriving community ashore. This diversity of industry represents an evolution—or, rather, a revolution— that has come along with the develop ment of tlie gigantic modern steam ship. In the old days of sailing ships all the members of the vessel's crew were sailors mid performed one part or another of a sailor’s work. Even the redoubtable cook was usually much better versed In matters relating to spars and ratlines than he was in tbe secrets of the culinary art. But tMliiy the status is different. Navigation of the big Atlantic fliers Is a complicated task, and the number of men required to carry It on Is ten times greater than on even the biggest ships of a century ago. The variety of their vocations lias of course lieen multiplied to corre spond with the Increased complexity. The sailors are in a small minority nowadays. True, you will see a num ber of seamen on the big ships, and these still have their duties to perform, duties which, however, have nothing to do with the handling of sails, for not In a number of years has cauvas been spread on any of the big liners. But common sailors seem few In com parison with the men of other trades whose usefulness on shipboard tbe sea captain of a generation or two ago would have found hard to explain or even understand. Some of the greatest changes In the conditions of service have come aliout, naturally enough, through the Intro duction of steam machinery. Tlie pres ence of machinery means that the liner must carry not only a number of engi neers, but also several machinists to keep In order the complicated mechan ism of pumps and blowers and deck en gines which a big vessel carries. Then, since every great passenger ship Is pro vided throughout with a modern plumb ing system, she must have In readiness a qualified plumber. An expert electri cian Is also needed to look after the electric lighting plant, a refrigerating engineer for the cold storage plant and a number of other representatives of different branches of tlie engineering profession. Instead of the ancient cook with his very limited accomplishments the up to date liner has an expert chef, besides bakers, confectioners and also the other gastronomic specialists to be found In the big fashionable hotels ashore. A ship's butcher cuts the roasts and Joints and takes general charge of the meat supply, and there are several storekeepers, who, it is true, do not sell goixls, but who keep as exact account of all the groceries and other supplies Issued for the use of passengers and crew as though their livelihood depend ed upon it. Besides these, every liuer carries a barber, for passengers long ago gave up the habit of going unshaven from beginning to end of tlie voyage. The barber has a comfortable little shop, and next door to him perhnps Is In stalled the barkeeper, who from the nature of bls clientele Is required to be adept in mixing the drinks of all na tions. Still more surprising to the inex perienced traveler It will perhaps tie to learn thnt the big steamships carry four or five bootblacks to keep the pas sengers in shlnt*s. Of the learned professions the only- one regularly represented Is that of medicine. Every liner carries a sur geon, who not only attends to pas Mongers or members of the crew who may fall ill, but who is also charged with the general supervision of the health nml sanitation of tbe vessel. There are usually plenty of “sea law yers” on board-not that there is any leinnnd for legal services anil If clergy men nre not among the passengers the captnin or purser Is qualified to read the service on Sundays. The Issuing of a pape* containing tele graphic news Involves of course an edl tor and a wireless telegrapher, The editorial duties are assumed by the purser, and the wireless operator not only receives the news for the ship's paper, but takes and transmits mes sages for the passengers as well. The ship's printer prints not only the ship's newspnper, but the daily menus ami concert programmes as well. Most of the liners carry oue or more musicians. Some have fully equipped bands that furnish dally music, and those liners which do not Include a complete musical outfit have at least one or more buglers to sound the calls for meals and for Inspection. Every liner has on board a carpenter who makes necessary Interior repairs tad looks p't/'r the boat's tanks and wells, and there are to be found among the stewards and seamen handy men of other trades. All of which goes to show that the modern "floating city” Is a very cosmopolitan and. If need be, • very self reliant community. The Latent Stock«. Rome of the new stocks are almost barbaric In tbelr color schemes, a dozen colors lietng piled on a background of leather or the gijrcn suede that Is so good this year. But the prettiest stocks are made with little frills that spread out at the base of the collar like n tiny yoke. Most of the frills are of plait ings, with an occasional one that Is flared out by curiously shaped bits of ’ some sheer material.