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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 19, 1905)
MNDOX JtKCOKDKIt. :i.i.A.ci.N(; HKsnrs THE LAW OF CONSEQUENCES AND THE PROBLEMS OF LIFE. C I or Uvll In ThiiiKN I" Discovered ! llllslTVlltioll- of roilflIU'llMH. Moral. Arc Determined liy Hit- fon IiCiiiu'Iii'cn if Human Anion. A reaction is the consequence of :ui notion: an effect is the coiise.pieneo ot a iniwi1; a result is the cotise.jueiico ot an antecedent. It is evident that tin words reaction. ofYect. result ami con rc.pieneo express different manifests! tlotis of one Jaw. usually called ihr law of causation, though it would be. 1 believe, more correctly named the law of coiisct'Ucnccs. Wo shall undorMand more clearly the interactions in human a 'fairs when we recognize tliat the meaning of tho words roaotion. offoot ami result is in cluded in l lio word coiisoUcucc. Wo mat doubt tho ini'HirtHiioo of reaction in our affairs, but wo shall not doubt tho importance of eouseipueitoes. V an- compelled to give considera tion lo eoiivojuomes In tho most tri ial affairs, one t. .s consequences in vii w when he strike a match, sets a p-1 to boil. plants a seed, pulls a woeu. sharpens a ietieil. mends a fence. Shall 1 take an umbrella; I balance the danger of rain against the annoyance of the umbrella ami decide accordingly. Sliall 1 change my coat? Take another cop of eotVee? Walk or rule? ICaeh question will be decided in accordance with my estimate of the balance of re sults. In considering iHtssihic advan tages or disadvantages, gains or losses, we are balancing coiieiu'iH'es. en deavoring to anticipate and weigh the results of our actions. I 'egret is usually a reminder of a neglect or niisjudgmout of conse quences, while repentance ami reforma tion indicate a waking up concerning consequences. Our interest, curiosity, anxieties, fears, hopes and ambitions are concentrated upon consequences. We seek advice when we are doubtful about consequences. Precepts ami ex amples elucidate consequences. We work and rest, eat and drink, scheme and plan, spend and save, for conse quences. Tito lesson of consequences w hich the individual often learns slowly and imperfectly the sound business orcra ti trations acquire quickly and enforce by discipline. The salesmen in a suc cessful store are characterized by tidi ness. promptne and a desire to please; the employ cos of the iui-tortaut rail roads are not even permitted to an swer insult with insult. The industry that is intelligently managed will avoid misrepresentation and decep tion, knowimr that a reputation for truth ami fairness is vital to continu ous success. The shrewdest maxims of trade are built upon the observation of consequences. That mind is the strongest which has the clearest judgment of consequences. The fools are those who know little abuiit consequences. The child must be guard eM oe-aiio " it is ignoraTil of Consequences. What we know l" nar cotics, stimulants, antidotes, hygietic. surgery, chemistry, agriculture, me chanics, oomuieroe. culture, we know through the observation of conse quences. The 1h's raxor. plow, sani tary system, plan of social betterment, Is that which produces the lo-t results. Knowledge, learning and experience ib-al wholly with cause and couse qinntce. The science of astronomy se.s tt comprehend the heavenly lod ies ami their inilueiices upon each oth er. The scteiice of chemistry explains the eirttsnieiicos of chemical action. The sob iicc of political coiiomy aims to distinguish ami mark the g-nl and evil results of !increiit systems of land tenure, taxation, trade ami finance. The science of government would de termine what political system is best for a people. The science of war seeks to know what arms, equipments, forces and maneuvers will indict tin great est injury uu the enemy with a miti imtiui of cxcnditure. Tin- science of language deals with the ut lit v of words, pronunciation and forms of ex pression. Ami so mi through the whole of hitman oxerifiice knowledge seeks to distinguish that wliich has the best results frm that which has inferior or evil results. our ideas of right and wrong are due to the nature of the rosjH.nscs to hu man actions. I low do w e know that truth is letter than falsoh.l? p.e cse we are heller pleased with our selves when we speak truthfully than when we He. because truth is essential to understanding: because we despise lying in others; because lying leads to confusion, uin-crtaiiity. chaos, enmity ami to other evil consequences. And so also we have formed a Judgment of loyalty and I reaeuery. cruelty and "kindness. virtue and vice, by their con sequences. Our laws, customs ami command ments would not prove to us that truth is better than lying if our own experi ence dhl not confirm it. The 1 eoahjgue Is oilWtive only so far as nature cor rtlnrates It. Our common conceptions of morality are the results of the observation of human actions and their consequences of cause ami eff.'et. of action and reaction. We know that certain ac tiMis are right and others wroir-r. as we know that bread is od and straw bad for fcMwl; that Iteht clothing i more useful in summer than hi win ter; that cbanliness is better than tilthiness; that the way to walk is for ward, not backward: that mirth Is plensHJiter than rief. As the value of a machine or imple inent is shown in Its workiuir ami tin value of a tree by its fruit, so the mer it or demerit of food, drink, medicine, acts and thoughts Is determined by their results, reactions or ejfects - by their consequences. From "ltalance: The Fumhiinentnl Verity." by Orlando J. Smith. The Tibetan Ilihlc. The Tibetan Hible consists of 10S volumes of l.ijr payes each. contain In l.(K5 sepamte books. K;u-h of the volumes weighs ten rounds. In addi tion to this there are "-'I!." volumes of commentaries, which are neesarv for' tile lllllllTSt Mllllill" ol llli SI. -Mill nr...- I The tvpe from which the I'.ible (or i Kah-gyur) is printed requires rows of i Louses like a city for storage. out Don't look for slights, don't strain your ears to lu'ar things tlmt are not intended for you. and then imagine thai what yon have heard as well as a good den! yoni have failed to catch, is derogatory to you. That you arc the subject of their remarks. You can live an unhappy and a very unenviable lib' if you pursue su .1 a course. You are not only miserable yours. If but tend to make everyone el.se in your company thoroughly uncomfortable. 1 heard a lady gie one of these alto gether too sensitive little hoi.ies some good advice the other day. T; o young lady was diftideni. always fea-ful that she did not look quite as well is some of the other girls, conscious t'tat she had two or three little I'reo les on the bridge of her nose, and I 'lieved they drew attention to her f: e. her hair was a beamilnl shade of inbiirn. but she was overwhelmed wb i honor at the tinge of red which at y other girl would liavxiiviiil. ami qol e of it as Iwing twthing but a searchlight. and the minute she entered a room ecrylK)dy was attracted by her red- jieao ami ircci.ieu mse. alio was really a very pretty girl, and would have Ihi ji very attractive if she had not Ihvji so self-const urns that it made her appear awkward. The lady who ave this oung lady the advice which hanged her whole life had been watching lu-r for some time, and made an effort whenever she met her out of ati evening n pay her the little atten 'ions That every girl likes, ami to draw her "out of her shell" as she terim i it. ami make her forget herself. It w;;s hard work at First for the young lad vi as more dis'ioscd to get oft" in a corner by herself and brood over her imaginary slights. One evening thev mot at a little sih iai gathering at a friend's house, ar.d iK'fore the evening was half over she found this unhappy young lady ejisooiit 'ti ij her customary corner, ami when she attempted to draw her out and git her to mingle with the rest of the young people, she said hc 'prei'crr-'d to remain where she w:i for her feet were so big tlmt tiny wre in everybody's way. and tiny w-ro constantly stopping on them." The little lady almost lost her patience, bit her lip am! smiled as she tried to read the girl and lind a way out of the slouch of disKnd she was lH'iit o remaining in. "'tune with tm into the rtuiservaiory. they cannot step oa our feet there, it is cool am! pleasant, and we can have a iiuic talk all to ourselves." 1 would iikc that." rt plied the young lady, "for then I will h out of the way." "Mar- tr ttuain." ttitumlit the friend. aJ moul:u Me- i:q not give expression to the words. "Now, my dear. 1 have Iweit wanting to have n sensible little talk with you for some time, and put you on thf right track. 1 have the greatest sympathy for you. for 1 used to ln the same unhappy giri tl.at you are to-day. and my. but what siikm! times I did miss while I t lunj. to my little comer and watched with envious eves ami longing heart the fr joy ous happite ss of the other girls, and ior.ged ii cuter into all the frolic and merry-making of the young ptple. They would o home radiantly happy, and ihHr eyes sparkling and a song in their hearts. In my heart there was a dirge and a lament that it had been ordair.it! that I should always he the iwld number nt a gathering:. .My eves were heavy with unshed tears, and ! dragged my feet as if they were Scad. There was no buoy am y left in tue I was too bitter to cry after I got tiotne, but would turn and toss on my pii ow. womb ring why fate should hav. ordained that I should always be unhappy, so the first night I met you I recognized the same sensitive spirit that had ruled me for so long, and I determined to try ami save you from the misery ai1(i unhappiness that fob lowed in the wake of my young life blighting and withering all the joy and merriness. light hcartcdncss that should be ev ry girl's portion in life, for there is enough that comes after ward to make the pathway rugged and your feet weary. Now, I am going to (ell you what saed m and I lK-iievp it will help you if you will listen to me kindly, ami accept what I have to say in the spirit that it is intended. If you do. then 1 promise you that you wi'l find that you have just commenced to live. In (lie first place forget yourself entirely: for the time being you are some one else not the little diffident mortal that only excites pity, for a strong mind abhors pity, j-iniply raise yourself right out of the "pity rot" yon have fallen into. Look hIk.'iiI you aud see if you cannot find someone sitting off by themselves who hav the same little melancholy strain in nniug through (hem. go and talk to i hem. if von onlv say it's a P'easant evening, break the tee some-1 how. ami you will lind that they are glad to 1m noticed. Move from one to another, and you will discover that you are not exciting half the atten tion that vou do when vou are sitting mute in your corner. You will find this person and thai one. who did not notice you liefore. giving you a smile of recognition as they pass, for they will discover that the lovely butterfly is at last, coming out of its chrysalis. If they sing some little catchy air. join in the chorus with the rest. If you are invited to join in a game, even i ilifiiic1t vnt ilnit't lrthr-fcti it will o Dl Iw,r" tn P,ay' j"8t as U, o,,10rs 11:1,1 to do 1)efore T,,,! evening w,n have gone by before you know il. and you will be saying good bye wilh re gret that the few hours of genuine happiness 1ms come to an end. When you j;-'t home try and think of all the pleasant things that occurred. :utd how happy you made Mrs. II 's mother, who has long since passed her four-score years and ten, and feels that she is in the way. She loves young people's company, aud is so pleased and llattered whenever they deign to talk with her. At this very minute she is sitting upstairs watch ing the merry company with wistful eyes. You know of her, go and sil down beside her aud talk to her. she will appreciate it. and so will her daughter-your hostess. Hon't allow yourself to dwell on a single unpleas ant subject when you gel home, ban ish everything from memory but the remembrance of (he music, the lights and Mowers. let the laughter of the merry guests echo in your heart, and recall where you said something pleas ant to this one and that one who seemed ill at ease, then will your dreams be pleasant and your slot i restful, ('tune ami I will introdmc you to Mrs. II "s mother poor od lady. ' 1 happened to hear a great deal of tlu above conversation and I know whal a uilTerouee that night made in the young lady's life. To-day she is not a lonesome little wall Mower, but one of the leaders in her little realm. It is one of the aims of her life to hunt out all the diffident and sensitive young people she can find and make them feel at home. She is universally beloved by old and young. In speak ing of the above conversation and of how much she owed to the little lady who took the pains to raise her out of the depths of woe ami place her in the avenue that led to happiness she said. "I owe everything to her. roily, and wish there were more like her. 1 would like to have you do me a favor." she continued, "and that is to write up the dark side of my life when I was trying to enter society's realm, for I believe it would be a help to every young person similarly situ ated. No one knows t.ho suffering un less they have experienced it. and no one knows better than myself htw easy it is to overcome when once you have had your eyes opened to the fact that there are tit hers beside yourself to be thought of. This self-consciousness is pure selfishness, but we don't realize it until somebody lifts the vail ami reveals it to us. (IKNKKAL IXTICIMSST 0 KN KK AT KS Kl .KIT I i 1 ( MT V Ol'T A DYNAMO. WITII- Al Montello, New, the Southern pa - . , ciiic ( ompany has an electric dynamo for charging batteries for the signals at the .tunnels. While two electric- ians weie at work there a young cotin- try lad with sunburned face and very countrified appearance stood at the door of the room and seemed very , !l seneroiis sum for ooniingeiic.es. much interested. I-inallv he asked if I ('h,"r J--;'- '-'";''. ... ,, . ,i Chiet Justice ! tiller ot the Lulled he could step inside. He was invited ' ... .-hi States supreme court will be seventy in. lb- said that he had never betore , tW( vv;t,.s n,.xl ,.v,in,Mry Mu will seen a dynamo, but that he had some j th,. entitled to resign. There is tMMiks on electricity, and had studied , revival of the rumor that he will do so the subject some. He immediately ' idiortiy after this. He will be entitled astonished the nu n in charge bv nam-1 " yearly salary of .?lo.oOO off the ing its different parts, and showed that he had a thorough understanding of the system. I'pon questioning him 'he electricians learned that he lived aliout six miles from Montello on a ranch. He said that he hud devised a plan whereby he utilized electricity from me ground of sufficient power to ' run a half-horse power engine with ! which he pumps water for his father's ranch, ami that he also could run a sixteen - caudb - power incandescent ' ,j lamp. He also told them of new and ,.v twice. No chief justice of the su- j evidently practical experiments in pivme court I .is over resigned froni of -wireless telegraphy and telephoning lice, sitting until death. j which he had made. j toilUltsli In Winter tjonrtcrs. j The manner in which the young ' The pretty pool at tho east entrance genius extracts electricitv from the;"'' u",'il' ,,ous'' ws,s 'I'1 ground is very simple 1 le daces a t , , negat.ve plate on the ground; a short instance away he places a positive plate ami connects them with a wire. 1 thus forming a circuit. The simple, straightforward inanm r of the lad and the evidently wonder ful discoveries of which he told deeply impressed the voting electricians at the Southern Pacific plant. When the rancher's son left he gave them an urgent invitation (o visit him and si lus experiments. 'i- The electrician who gives up this in- formation says that he is gooig to investigate the matter as soon as he , can. He savs that he believes the ! lad. because his manner was honest i 'iiul unaffected. Klko Free Press. I ESC. LAND'S NI-:W SPORT. One of the new sports in Knglnnd is falconry with motor cars. The sports men go out in their minors with fal cons ami goshawks on their wrists and await the advent of (he game that is driven toward (hem from the coverts which the roads adjoin. M I S I ) 1 1 1 EOT E H EN Ell 0. Y Fourteen acres of onions in Indiana yielded a profit of ? 10.000. And yet a large part of the Hoosier population puts in its time writing historical novels. Kansas City Journal. 'The Public Library of P.oslon has just received a gift of more than l.ooO manuscript letters of some of iho most prominent scholars aril states men of New England. The gift was made by the estate of the late Charles W. Folsom. through Mrs. 0. Norton FoIsoiik WASHINGTON LETTER (Sclal I'urrcspoiidcncc. When Mr. Moody, entered the depart inent of justice from the navy portfolit it was believed tiiat he would not re mam for a long time in the cabinet and that he would probably return U Massachusetts and resume the practict of law after the -1th of next March The president, it is said, will try tt dissuade Mr. Moody from this cottrst and will seek to have him continue ii his present position indefinitely. The talk of the retention of Mr Moody in the next cabinet is part ol the discussion that is going on as tc probable changes in the cabinet aftei the 1th of March. U Is not thought there will be any chungtS before that lime uulc ; it is the entrance of Mr t'oitclyou as postmaster general tc .succeed .Mr. Wynne, regarding vvbon; there is already talk of another cabinet -j dace. Tl.ete is some gossip to the of feet that Secretary Shaw may not want to remain in otliee much longer, and Secretary Hitchcock is 'also spoken of a having a desire, to retire to his business in Missouri. Among the met: slated for places in the cabinet soint time in the futuie is Mr. tlartiehl. whe is known to have the esteem of th( president. Kctfret For Cockrell. President Uoosevell has been greatly pleased with the fact that Missouri lias been put in the Ucpuhlican columi; and broken the solid south. Al the same time theie is genuine ivgrel at the White House and among the callers there that the result in Missouri will probably mean the retirement of Sen alor fockiell. The feeling was fully expressed by Senator Mcl'omas of Maryland, who had a talk with the president about the situation in Mary land: "Politically I am glad to see that the solid outh has been broken, but 1 am profcundly sorry personally as to the probable tlefeat of Senator 1'oekrt'Jl, wlm has one of the greatest records in the senate of any man in the country, lie Is a splendid, clean, able man. fub of patriotism, ami his. work on the appropriations committee has saved the country millions of dol lars. It is a g:eat pity that he is to ben-tired, as no 'letter man could be sent to the senate from the. state." .Mix-, Hiuisevctt" Krleiiil. Miss Alice liooseve'lt is having a quiet time, being much in need of rest after her social trips of the spring and summer. She may go to New York the middle of the month. The story of fail ing friendship between Miss Loosevelt aud the Countess Cassini is obviously incorrect, as the two have been insepa rable since the return of the countess. Washington society is deeply grateful that the dhuVuilios between the Rus sian amb..ssatlor and his adopted daughter lave been adjusted, though on what lusis no one seems to know. Thoe wh oppose the supremacy of J the young countess in the corps- lor she has arued jealous antagonisms -assert that she has had her "wings ! .!:.......! .....1 !... .-1... .fill tft.-vt liKlL-il fll.l : '. "" ,'T1 . dlsplav which has mark oil her previous , 0h( rs llJliMt;lln hmV0Vf.r. that ( ( Unmu y:lVi.XMiW has rich relatives j,,.,. ,l0t!ier's side, one a prominent banker in Paris, who have come to her rescue, and that she will face the sen- I "ltM "n her obligati)iis paid and! Ih-iii h. ami it is stated that since the death of his wife he is not inclined to continue participation In the social af f.iirs of the capital. The gossip fixes next March a the time for the resigna tion, ami there Is a revival of the talk (hat his successor will be William II. Tnft. secretary of war. There Is little question that Mr. Tuft will be offered ,h'' !'"" ' ,'!', 11 vacant. . Mr. l tiller was appointed as a nemo- j oral April .. isv. and four times ad- ministered the oath of oilice to presi- cuts Harrison. Cleveland and MeKin- ; ' " O-l HOC-. WlitCII to wailOCI OllilllCiS. OH I '(h(i ;v,mrr H(.(U(.(n Jhv ; ' h,m,Ired were removed .being taken to! u,,. jjsh commission. At the beginning of the summer a comparatively small number were placed in the pool, but they have multiplied fast. The lilies, many of which c.ime from tropical re gions, the most beautiful being from Mexico, were t.tken to the propagating gardens, where they will be warmly housed during the winter. Iti-furlil-liliiir Depart incut. Advantage has been taken of the ab sence of the -o'Telarv and his asslst- ants of the interior department to re hty the carpets in the various oilices of j ,h'' ,l,:,in I'I '' the department j ml l" ,ut '"M'hu'e generally in shape ; for ttiii nintir tt to tli.. nnct.in tn nil i , '. . ' I me in a nt lies oi i L'overnmeiii service to refurbish the rooms twice a year. In I he spring and fall. Ilcpitrf mont of Commerce. Acting Secretary Lawrence o. Mur ray of the department of commerce and labor has made public the estimates of appropriations for the department for the fiscal year beginning July 1. ItKio. They have been forwarded to the sec retary of the treasury for transmission to congress. The estimates aggregate SI l.."..".l..7J). being S.VJI. I".". less than the estimates for the fiscal year beginning July 1. loot. The estimates for the fis cal year of liMni exceed the apprnprla- j (ions for the current fiscal year by ! cl.'JlS.bH. CAUL SCIIOFIKLD. Silent .liipnnese Women. Japan has its communities of silent female recluses. 'There is a convent at a place failed Yimaka wa, about sev en miles from Hakodate. A matron of some fifty years presides, and her instructions are implicitly obeyed. 'The women are all young, ranging from six teen fo twenty-seven, and some of them are described as very beautiful. 'The building stands in a farm of some -T.o acres, but the women do not en gage in any agricultural work. They spend most of their time indoors, ami they observe a strict rule of silence. CHOICE MISCELLANY Tiie "Pnoiim itatiit." Said the woman n she e.-caped tht frieiiiliy clinches of the cross walk p liceiuaii and rc.ichcd the curb in a st:: to of mind: "I can cross any street in Albany at any hour of the day ot night without assistance. I am young, abiolioilied. with good eyesight. I can hear a car counu as far as the next one. 1 am active on my feet. I do nol stiller from heart failure, swooning or epilepti- tits, and I would not allow any man of my family, much less any other man. to make me look like a nat ural born Idiot by fastening Ids paw tc my elbow and shoving me across a street as if I went on wheels and need ed motive power." That is precisely what the woman said, and from the way In wliich she said it it will be seen that she meant it. Courtesies are dear to the heart of woman. She wants all her rights, but she will sacrifice none of her privi leges, and no one will blame her for that. Women who wear street dresses of walking length and sensible walking shoes do not require the same assist ance in dodging vehicles or getting on or off street cars as the women of a few years ago, who went about wear ing high heeled boots and long trains to their gowns. -Albany Argus. Loudon I.oilKiiiK Hoiinon. John Iturus. the famous London la bor lender, recently startled the county coun. il by a denunciation of a new city lodging house for TOO men. "These huge lodging houses." he said, "are a social and moral danger. It is not for the council to put a premium on celibacy by building hotels in whichl provision is made only for the single m. :u. "These aggregations of single men at tract the provincial loafers and was trels, who from being cab touts de sciid t i the gutter, to be picked up and taken to Salvation Army shelters for soup. "I have l.oen up all night for four nights, mixing with the people who j:et a basin of soup and four ounces of bre.nl at Salvation Army shelters. At :t:.".o a. m. I have formed one of l,:uo men waiting to get soup and bread, and 1 found loafers, criminals and wastrels alternating between the wnrkinginen who have fallen in the struggle for bre-id. "The social danger of these celibates becomes greater with every house erected by the council and by Lord Kow ton's company." .Uo:ic In .Maine AivailliiK Clnimimtx. The Maine law In regard to publn idioinistratioit of estates prov idi s that when any uiuiiey remains aft r pay ing all debts of a person who 'lies in tctatc and without an heir il snail be deposited in the slate treasury for nJ period of twenty years, and thc:i if no heirs appear to claim the sum it Is for feited to the state. The only case In recent hisjoiy of tho state where a large sum of money has thus irt-efi forfeited to the state oe' citrrcd during the sixties, when $4.tj00. which bad remained unclaimed in the treasury for the period required, was forfeit. -d t- the state. At the present titi.e there are two sums of money so deposited in the state treasury await ing ckriimuiis. One Is from the estate of (b'orgtc Mcl-MiiiaUl and the other front the estate of ileorge L. Lester. I loth were deposited in the state treas ury in is:; by the public administra tors who had charge of the respective estates. The total of the two sums is So-jo, ami there are still fifteen ye'ars remaining to claim one or loth of the sums dt-osited. Itangor News. Miniilil Wear Clean Clothes In Hnttle. Soctutes took a bath before drinking tho hemlock, and many brave men have insisted on dressing carefully on the eve of execution. Science now sug gests that in the ease of man-of-war crews it is distinctly "advisable that clean clothes should be put on Just be fore going into action." The reason is. of course, that pieces of sol let 1 clothing carried Into wounds make them more dangerous. The Japanese surgeon in chief of Togo's Meet, whom wc are quoting, goes on to say that "there are many examples to show that a pocket notol took, knife, etc.. have saved men's lives from shell fragments. We have had a few examples in the pros ent war. I dare say that In time every combatant on lioard warships In action will wear some kind of protecting mask and Jackets."- Westminster (bt xeltc. Zoln. nml linlrpliiN. When Zoln was last in London he in- stanciHl the egotism of the. capital "1" In English as significant of English character. The number of waif and stray hairpins to be seen on the pave ment was another. On this last subject Mr. Y'rzetelly. who told the story, has returned to the charge. An analysis of some pigeons' nests In Loudon has revealed the hair pin as one of the stock architectural materials. In his argument of the wastefulness of Englishwomen Mr. Vizetelly. says the Saturday Uevievv, might go on to an analysis of the sparrow's dietary, which would reveal as outrageous a waste of bread as of metal. A Tnx on Theater Ticket. Victoria will probably be the first P.ritlsh community to levy a tax on amusements for the support of local charitable institutions. Mr. Pent, the premier, proposes a tax of a penny on every shilling spent in the purchase of theater tickets. The Melbourne theat rical managers are alarmed at this pro posal, which, they say means a levy of S per cent on their gross takings. They have had a- long conference with the premier, but did not succeed In converting him to their way of thinking.- London Chronicle. Common t'nse. Mrs. Young Lucy. I'm afraid I mar ried the wrong man. Mrs. Elder Don't let that disturb you. dour. Every woman who marries does that. Itoston Transcript. In tel. I AVenllh. Wagger They say that old Coiijkiu ness. the banker, lias untold wealth, (bigger Yes. that's what the tax col lector suspects. -'Town 'Topics. Contentment gives a crown where fort title hath denied it. Ford. HUMOR OF THE HOUR HI Had Ilrenk. "Talking about fright and gray hairs." said a traveling man, "my hair never came so near turning white in a single night as it did a couple of weeks ago when I was in a town in one of" the wildest patches of country in the west. I entered a cafe and started In to ingratiate myself with the boys and was vetting along line. "There was one old fellow who hung around the bar si great deal and seem ed to have everybody scared. I made up my mind that he was a chap I wanted to have on my side so I start ed in and made up to him the best I knew how. I told him all the funny stories I knew, livery time he laughed everybody else laughed, and when he didn't seem to like It there was a gen oral attack of the blues. After awhile he told a story himself. I laughed as hard as I could and slapped him on the shoulder and said: " 'I've heart 1 of you before.' " "You have'; said he. looking sus picious all of a sudden. " 'Yes.' said I, 'and you're nil right. You're a bird!' "1 never saw a such a swift change of scenery In my life. The floor was cleared all of a sudden, and all the oc cupants of (he place except the old man ami myself were looking up from behind tables. He had a six shooter pointed at me. and If his finger had trembled I'd have been the subject for 'a dearest Willie, thou hast left us.' piece of poetry then ami there. Just then a y.iung girl rushed into the place and threw herself between us." "of course." commented a listener, "this is about chapter .".. She exclaim ed: 'Spare hint! Spare him for my sake:' " "No. She didn't say anything of the kind. She merely said: 'Hon't be a fool. d:nl. IIv didn't mean anything. He ain't heard a wonl about it.' "Thc'i she turned to me and said: " 'Yo i want to be keerful about how you t: lk about anything in the fowl line before dad. He was tarred an feat h red week before last. He ain't got ciear over it yet. an' he won't stand the jokin' about It, you see.' " Naturally. "My wife always settles our differ ences bv arbitration." "Who is the arbitrator":" "Mv wiie. of course." Mlcht lletler Have Played. "His mother wouldn't let him play f ot bail for fear he might get hurt, al Ue.un he played vviih ut Injury for thiee yearrt." "Well";" "Well, he went to the next game and rooted so hard tlmt he sprained his larynx." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Ili-iisiiti For Sndne.HM. "I'olft feel so flit tip about it. Mr. Skemer." said Miss ltoxley after reject ing him. "I'm not the first girl you ever loved, nor. I venture to say. miu I likely to be the hist." "No." he sighed disconsolately, "but you're the richest." Milwaukee Wis cousin. Heartless. "Fdigglns talked to his wife so harsh ly the other day." said the gos.sjp, "that she actually wept." " The monster! Hid he relent then?" "No. He merely said it was cheaper than sending her to an emotion.! I dra ma to have a ginl cry." Washington Star. KtrnviiKmt Woman. "Keally. dear." sjnd the beautiful dryad who was Pan's favorite wife. "I must have a new hoimct." "What? More expense!" exclaimed Pan "You must think I'm a regular duM Pan." Philadelphia Ledger. Ills Scheme. K nicker Jones has a scheme to offer Japan. I to. ker-What is It? Kiiiker--'To strew Intnann peelings around Port Arthur so as t hasten the fall. Pom I in I tn. Crcene-Il wi-bes were horses, you know, beggars might rkh Cray Ami be run away with when the first automobile comes in sight. Kosioti Transcript. , Still llelter. Ie Style -Was her marriage a fail lire? (t'unbusta- Yes. but her divorce was 11 huge success. Pittsburg Post. Does I'or the Dead. "What tine's ho tlo for a living?" "Nothing. He is an undertaker." Harvard Laiujoon. A Crooked Souk. There was a crooked man. A id htt mwiiiik a crooked dHl. Aral he made a rroohfd mtltton l!y a crooked Uttlo ate!. Then he took u crooked houao In a e-niokiI thorouhfari. And his crook.ftl nelKhlors swore That this crooked man was sijuare. So he hired a crooked jtevv In a crooked little kirk. And lu- i-rookgd htti little knees And K.t In Mh crooked work - Puck. t'nrrrnrilfil History. Aladdin bad just rubbed his wonder ful lamp. -Cot me at once." he said as bis faithvu! genie' appeared, "a breath of fresh air from a New York tenement." Wondering at his master's imbecili ty, the genie disappeared forever. P.r.Niklyn Life. Apt to He Kluslve. "Pa. who are the 'authorities?" "They are the fellows who at critical times claim that they have no au thority." Cleveland Leader. FACTS IN FEW LINES France's llterarv- output Inst year was S), ("71 works. Yarmouth's herring catch this year is valued at ?l!.KXl.UiW. They are now smuggling tobacco across the Canadian bonier in bales of hay. '1 he Antioch (Mo.) Presbyterian church recently called its third min ister in eighty ye'ars. Heather Is decaying to such an ex tent on Yorkshire heaths ami Scottish moors that sporting lessees ami dock masters are seriously etuicorned. A sarcophagus Muting from the year loon ami containing human remains has been discovered by some workmen while digging a well in the Kim ties Cobelius. Paris. P.rittsh Columbia Indians have be come enthusiastic lawn tennis players from seeing some hotel guests playing near Imp fields in which the Indians were picking the crop. There are about "im) railway compa nies in Fuglaml and Wales alone and about twenty-live each in Scotland ami Ireland, making a total of fully "ou separately constituted companies. Michigan has produced some tall men. but now breaks her record by an nouncing that she has a twent v-vear-old youth who Is seven feef eight inch es tall and wears a boot eighteen inches long. 'There is no organized community of Jews anywhere' in Japan excepting at Nagasaki. The synagogue there was built by a Japanese woman who had married a Jew. When he died she built the synagogue in his memory. Irrigation plans already outlined in California, Oregon ami the Dakotas wil! Involve the expenditure in round numbers of -JT.tioo.iKto and reclaim a million acres of html, capable of sup porting a population of iioo.noo. A number of gamecocks In express shipments have passed through New Orleans en route to the .cocking munis of Matamoras. It is said about $10.ou0 worth of these birds are shipped into Mexico annually from the l.'nited States. The bankers who last spring pur chased large blocks of Cuban warrants are said to have cleared nearly S'i.000. (mki through the government's paving ntf its war liabilities. 'The claims wen; bought up at less than ."0 cemts on the dollar. In opening a new pier at Mcnai I .ridge, a Welsh watering place. Mr. Lloyd "forge said that of the $70,000 the pier had cost $12.."i00 had gone in legal expenses. Itefore a local authori ty could go to parliament lawyers had to be engaged. M Ph. Negris in a recent brochure presented to the Academy of Sciences shows that an important increase' in the depth of the sea has taken place sim i' the Human period, the Mediterra nean having risen at least nine feet in about H.ooo years. 'Though adopted no more tlmn six or seven years ago. the whole of the f'ur man juick firing field artillery has been condemned as "obsolete"" and is to be replaced by shield protected guns re coiling on their own limber. This is the Japanese type of field mill. 'Two votes were cast in Ceorgin in lS'io for Lincoln, one of the voters. Fncie P.illy Powers, is still living In Franklin. Chi., ami is nearly eighty years of age. He was born in fJeorgki ami went to the place where he now resides when he was three years old. 'Two new meat companies lhtve begun operations in Argentina during the past year, and their refrigerating depart ments have a large i-ijKi.-ity. Thwe an; n. w five large meat concerns in Argen tina, and they have a capacity of r00, oon cattle and 7.oou.oi.ti sheep a year. For military purjioscs a census Is taken annually of the uuitilier of horses in I "ranee. The census of horses this year showed that there were only IM I 17 against HI. op; twelve months be fore, a decrease of St'P in n single year, which is likely to become accentuated. When a brigade of mutinous troops took the city of Lim-hufu. south CtbliMi. the tit her day they pillaged and slew for forty eight hours. So great was their boty that they compelled -I.iltMl of the inhabitants to help them carry it o me nuts, wnere iney joined mo rem els. The longest telephone line in Ger many is 71" miles in length ami runs between Perlin and Paris. 'Then follow Perlin ami P.udapest. ;p miles; literlln and Menu!. .V.r.t miles: Perlin ami Ba sel. o77 miles. 'The line between IJerlln and I 'rank fort is the most used, IS." communications be'iug transmitted dai ly 'The decree of February last requir ing that before celebrating a marriage between foreigners or between a Peru via it and a foreigner in Peru the civil ami ecclesiastic authorities should ex act. In addition to the testimony of tw witnesses, a certificate of bachelor or spinsterhoo.l has been Indefinitely sus pended. It has been a tradition sine" the time of Nicholas I. to name the ezarowitzes nit ornately Alexander ami Nicholas, but the murder of Alexander II. caus ed his name to be considered unlucky, so there will be no more Alexanders on the Russian throne, as there will he no more Pauls or Peters. The ev.ro wltz was. therefore', uamt.il Alexis, after the father of Peter the fJreat. He was a powerful and successful ruler. An unsuccessful effort has -been made in Frame to revive the fair of Ite-atie-aire on a scale comparable to that of the good old times. These fairs began In the thirteenth century ami gradually rose to such proportions that In 17JK). for Instance, the business transacted amounted to -UV.UOO francs. Before the middle of the last century the railway changed all this, and today the fair is a mere sltadow of Its former se'lf. Saitlfi. "Who goes there?" "Codfrey Godfrey Godfrey do P.Wic illon." stammered the yomg actor wtltthi his first two line mrt. "Sllpe. supe!" yelled the imfOC'Ung' gallery. Pittsburg Post. lll Safeguard. Wife oh. John, you've been pbtwiiig; poker again. You'll become a pr0fes sional gambler if you keep on tills way. John (disgustedlyi No" fear of that. I'm a mnk auwteur. PhllatleU itltia Press.