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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (June 9, 1904)
HIS FIRST CHECK.
The "War the IMeee of Paper "Worried
Thomna A. Edition.
Thomas A. Edisoupnee told a friend
the story of his tirsiTiequaiutanee with
any big sum of money. It was when
he" was struggling with his earlier in
ventions, anil he had about as clear
an Idea of the value of a bank cheek
as the man in the moon. He had iinal
ly sold his patent on the gold and stock
indicator to the Western Union Tele
graph company and had called at its
olliee to close the deal. After a few
preliminaries he was given a cheek for
$40,000. lie eyed it curiously anil ap
peared to be puzzled what to do wit'"
it Observing his perplexity. General
Lefferts, then president of the Western
Union, told him that if he would go U
the Bank of America, in Wall street,
he could get the cash on his check.
"So I started," said Edison, "aftei
carefully folding up the check, and
went toward Wall street. So uncer
tain was 1 In regard to that way of
doing business that I thought while
on the way that If any man should
come up to me and offer me two crisp
$1,000 bills for that piece of paper 1
would give him the check very quick
ly." On his arrival at the Hank of Amer
ica he half tremblingly shoved his
check out to the cashier. T latter
scrutinized it closely, gave him a
piercing glance and said something
which Edison, being hard ofvheariug.
failed to understand. That was
enough. He was fully convinced that
his check was not worth $40,000 and
again thought as he rushed out of the
bank that any man who would give
him $2,000 for it could have it. He
hurried back to the office of the West
ern Union and said he could not get
nn.v money. A clerk was sent to the
bank with him to identify him.
"This man," said the clerk, "is Mr.
Thomas A. Edison, to whose order the
check Is drawn."
"Why. certainly. Mr. Edison." said
the cashier. "How would you like your
money in what shape?"
"Oh. any way to suit the bank; it
doesn't make any difference to me. so
long as I get my money."
Edison was given $40,000 in large
bills. After dividing the roll into two
wads of $20,000 each he stuffed one
Into each trousers pocket and made all
speed out of Wall street. The next
day he began work on his first New
York laboratory. Success.
There is no miracle in true doctrine.
Human life is like the dew of the
The fallen blossom never returns to
There is no shore to the bitter sea of
IMrth and Death.
Never let go the reins of the wild
colt of the heart.
One confession effaces the sins of
even three years.
Only by reason of having died doo
one enter into life. --.-.
With one Lair of a woman you can
tether even a great elephant.
Even the touching of sleeves in pass
ing is caused by some relation in a for
mer life. Lafcadio Uearn's "In Ghost-
My father, Augustine, has been de
scribed as a good planter and a man of
energy. I apprehend that he was of a
serious tendency, for Lawrence, my
brother, once gave me to understand
that most of the few books at Wake
field were religious, but whether this
was so or not I do not know. Like
some of the rest of us. my father had a
high and quick temper, which, as he
used to say, he had to keep muzzled.
T 1 . . . .
i rememuer ueing ternned at seeing
him in a storm of anger because the
clergyman who was to have baptized
my sister Mildred was too much in
liquor to perform the ceremony. From
S. Weir Mitchell's "The Youth of
Washington" In Century.
Pretty Cutoin of Japan.
Japanese ladies are like the French
In their love of social intercourse and
conversation. They pay fewer visits,
but stay infinitely longer, always two
or three hours and sometimes a whole
day. They are received by the maid,
who places a large silk cushion for
them to rest upon, and much time is
spent in detailed inquiries concerning
each other's family. There is no spe
cial calling day In Japan. They visit
when their fancy takes them, and they
never go empty handed to a friend's
house. The gifts are usually fruit or
flowers or perhaps a fresh fish, and
whatever they take is always dainti
lywrapped In a little box of paper or
Neffleeled Unr For Papa.
Beautiful Ernestine was sobbing as
though her heart would break.
' "What is it, dear?" asked her girl
"W-why," she sobbed, "I t-told Jack,
after he had proposed, to go up and
"What of that?"
"Why, they started playing cards,
and now he goes up to see papa every
Hare the Dettlre.
Make up your mind to be educated,
and you are already half educated. A
Btrong desire to be or to do any partic
ular thing, accompanied by effort, mul
tiplies your power and throws wide
the door of opportunity that leads to
the accomplishment of your purpose
Hinks I always like to dine with a
man who knows how to order a din
ner. Ilinks Yes; it's almost as good
ns dining with a man who knows how
to pay for one.
Only a IIckI mil iter.
Job showed the little round
spot on his arm to his physician.
"What Is that, doctor?" he usked.
"That is a boll," pronounced the
medical man after a brief examination.
"A boll!" echoed Job. "Well, that's
a new one on me!"
Later, however, there were others on
blm. Chicago Tribune.
Polly would like to impress upon
every girl in the land who cannot write
their bank account in many figures,
the value of King able to do their own
dressmaking. The girl who is gifted in
the use of the needle and takes to sew
ing as readily as a duck to water, or
who has Imvii taught to do her own
mending ami the art of making her
own suits for any and all occasions is
thrice blessed. She is independent,
and if she has ever to resort to her own
resources the knowledge of how to
wield needle and scissors with happy
results will stand her in good need. In
the second place she can be more eco
nomical than her less fortunate friend,
who has to go to the dressmaker for
everything she wears. In the third
place she has the advantage of being
able to make old material over so as to
look like new. Discarded costumes
that she would not can' to rip up and
take to a dressmaker, feeling it scarcely
worth theexpeii.-e, by a little ingenuity
and combining it with something else,
she can have a new costume at .-diort in
tervals, while those who have never
learned the art of sewing and who are
limited in spending money, must Ik
satisfied with one or two new suits, a
year. 1 1 is all folly for a girl to say she
will never learn to sew for fear she may
have it to do some day, ami as long as
she knows nothing about it, it will not
le expected of her. She is losing more
than she gains in the long run, and she
will go without a great many of the
dainty, pretty little effects that mean
so much to a girl's wardrobe. Nearly
every girl expects to have a home of
.lerown onie day, ami if that is their
intention they owe it to t hems-elves ami
their home to know something about
sewing, even if they never have to do
their own dressmaking. Thev know
then when the garment is all right and
can point out where the seamstress is
at fault in her work. If she i a novice
nany times she is taken advantage of
and accepts her .-uit di.-atis-fied with
the result but unable to point out the
nother thing Folly would like to
ee girls do would le to organize a club
for the betterment of themselves. It
would shut out the slanderer ami evil
gossi per from membership, no one with
a propensity for such amusement U-ing
eligible for membership. This club
would bar the members from telling or
listening to coarse joki or qiiotionahle
Tories, that is. stories and anecdotes
they would not be willing to repeat to
their mothers. It wouln veto loud
and iHM-tefous laughing and talking
that always places a girl in a conspicu
ous and uiieuviaole position among
Iran gel's. Friends and those who love
us alway- overlook all these habits and
excuse tin-in by saying, "Oh, it's only
their wav: thev don't, mean anything
by it," but thev jar on the sensitive
ear-of strangers who, as a rule, judge
their new acquaintances by their fust
impressions and are not prone to be any
too charitable in their judgment.' The
rules of this new club should exact
from it- members a promise t drop all
trashy literature and confine them
selves to the reading of good book
Last, but not least, I would like to see
them encourage originality in bright
ami witty livings and sparkling con
versation. Make it a study and oiler a
reward for the brightest and most orig
inal thought, the wittiest sayings and
the iiiii-l sparlkling and beautiful sen
nicnts. The dilll-rent social function-,
both in eluhnnd home entertainments
oiler prizes for the winners in whist
euchre, etc, and for the blindfolded
gui-st pinning the tail on the donkey,
and to the expert in tiddley-w inks and
tlie various other amusements, then
why not offer the -anie incentive to
tho-e carrying off the laurels in the
more dignified, progressive and profit
able amusement. Following out the
alwve rules in ibis Folly Larkin dub
would leave no room for the little poi
son-tipped darts of the slanderer and
gossiper and would purify the atmos
phere at least in the vicinity of the
club members and cause the mantle of
charity to fall gently over the c-ring
I hey would make allowances where
others condemned iuid reach out a
helping hand Jrom whom others turned
aside. I wish:-oiue of our fair daugh
ters in the interior towns would try
this and -ce what their club wo.i'd
blossom into, although Folly can tell
you now its members would blossom
into sweet, relin. -d, lovable and pro
gressive girls and from that into the
pure, sincere, charming women w io
will reign over their homes with love,
and fact. Thev will not
remain in a nil, thev will not accept
indifference from their husbands in
other words tln-y would not allow
and he would not dan; take such a step
for fear or hi- wife rising so far alove
mm mat lie would only prove a ligurc
1 e.id in the home, and a very poor one
that. A woman does not necessarily
h.ive to 1m strong-minded or wiih a
willingiies-and desire to dabble in pol
itics, still she must have strength (.
mind enough to lay down the law
when she find- her hu.-band becoming
indilfereiit. And if he is wise he will
take the hint and not let it go too far, ro
o.ice a woman's faith and confident
a. -e shaken in her husband, and with
just cause, he can never so far redeem
(himself as to occupy the exalted pos
ition in her estimation that he once
held. .Nor tines he deserve it.
Coingback to club.-. I want to tell
you the gtxd one club for young boys
has done in one of our Interior towns.
A gentleman who has been always fond
of children saw some of the little boys
of the town in which he lived were not
living up Jo his idea of how Ixjys should
Jx' raised. So for the sake of two or
three bright Iwys whom he particu
larly liked, he organized a club of boys
and with the assistance of the youth
ful members fitted up a room at his
residence where they could meet at
least one a week. J Ie drew up a ritual
and rules, the latter prohibiting smok
ing, chewing tobacco, gambling in any
way whatever, profanity, for he in
sisted it must be a "pure-mouthed"
club, and exacted attendanceat church,
etc. It created a new era among the
boys and they considered it a privilege
to be able to join the club. As each
boy who applied for inentliersliip had
to be voted on, and his moral charac
ter was taken into consideration, theie
were rapid strides in that little town
for the betterment of the boys. They
had their little regalias for their olli
cers, and the gentleman w ho organized
the club always presided and was one
of the Ihivs for the evening, quiet and
dignified and yet entering into every
phase of tlie club life. The ritual which
they went through with every club
night was wholly religious :uid up
lifting in its lone accompanied with
songs in which every member joined.
After the order of business and the
beautiful ritual service had been at
tended to, then came the enjoyment of
various games, checkers, dominoes,
table croquet and various athletic
siMirts, including the punching-!). r,
etc. Kvcry year the gentleman I s
"his boys,' as he terms them, ol r
a two or three weeks' camping . .,.
This has continued for years, and as
the lKiysgrew up and stepped out of the
home life and into other fields younger
loys took their places. This little club
has reaped a harvest of good, for the
Ih's look back upon the training they
received there as one of the best influ
ences they came in contact in their
youth. They adore the founder, and
that is crowning glory enough for him.
OF INTEREST TO FRUIT GROWERS.
Central Selling and Purchasing Agency
The Committee of Fifteen ordered ap
lointed by the Twenty-ninth Animal
State Fruit Urowers' Convention to de
vise and put into etfeet a plan or plans
to promote co-operation among pro
ducers of all chu-scs of cured fruits
throughout the Facific Coast, have
unanimously adopted the following res
olutions as a basis for action:
Hesolved, That it is the sense of this
committee that the fruit growers of the
State, wherever practicable, organize
local associations for the preparation of
fruit for market, and that tlu-se several
associations men connect i neiiiseivcs
with some selling agency to make sale
of their crop at the best market rate, at
such limes and for such prices as the
agency acting m conjunction with as
sociate organizations may deem best,
hi case no selling agency is available or
satisfactory, we recommend that they
proceed to establish one by a delegate
repi'e-ciilat i c from each local as-ocia-tion.
Also, that we further recommend
that all selling agencies composed of
organized grow -s unite by delegate
membership to orm a central selling
and purchasing agency by which the
highest advantages in buying and sell
ing may In-secured, without, however,
relinquishing any brand, trade marks
or other advantage peculiar to each,
but eliminating to the greatest possible
extent injurious competition with each
other in the market ami in every prac
ticable manner extending the coii.-um
lion of California cured fruits.
Also, that we disclaim any purpo
to antagonize any interest by such n
commendations, being fully aware that
a large percentage of the business w5l
remain to be done bv established organi
zations. Hut we believe that when
considerable portion of the growers be
come thus organized, it will be possible
to find a common basis of agreement
with such interests by which niarke
values may be sustained and regulate
better than at present.
.Also, mat we lurtiier rccommcm
thai such centralized agency at flu
earliest practicable moment develop ;
plan for efficiently advertising t'alifoi
nia cured fruits and placing them w ith
the coii-uuiei's at prices which shal
provide for a fair average profit to the
grower, w bolt-safer a id retailer.
We further recommend the forma
tion of a commit te to procure and mala
available statistics m relation to tin
fruit products of the Faeilic Coast am
1 he following resolution was also
unanimously passed: ltcsolvcd, That
a conitnittt f three, with Mr. I. I
Stabler as Chairman, be appointed to
outline and put into opeiaPon a plan
rr. . r . . . . i . .
ior increasing me consiiuipi ion ol tin
cured fruits or the Stale.
The chairman appointed on the com
mittee with Mr. stabler, Arthur It
Briggs and A. L. MeCray.
1 he members of the Committee of
Fifteen present were: A. It. Sprague
Sacramento, Chairman; F. II. liahh.
San .lose; S. (I. Itodeck, Campbell; A r-
thur It. Isnggs, Mm I-raiicisco; II. I
Stal Ier, Yuba City; A. D. Ilishop,
Orange: AY. F. Weber, Santa Faiila;
I hos. Jacob, I ulare; A. L. McCcy,
r res no, Secretary; F. r. Walton, i
City, elected to fill a vacancy on
1 lie conimiliee spent two days in
earnest deliberations, and while at first
wide dillcrences of opinions were ex
pressed, thev came to unanimous agree
incut ill support of the plan alcove ouf-
Divorces In Japan.
t t ... I .... 1 t
ii a Japanese iiiisiiauti uivorces its
w ife he makes no provision for her, and
she has no dowry from her family, but
divorced women in Japan nearly all
marry again. She brings him nothing
but, a gentle ami obedient slave, and
takes nothing away with her but the
same valuable commodity.
Switzerland is inaugurating a system
tif itinerant school teachers, who will
visit ami spend some time in the i. .
lated outlying villages.
I wonder why every man who thinks
he can "cure fits" wants his picture in
(!od himself must have wept when ho
created a mother's tears.
The fool always introduces somebody
else hi his money.
I V V 4 l
The KIiik of IJird ami KIiikt t Finh
In a Death Cllueh.
We had been camped for a few days
at a point on the upper reaches of the
Pic river, waiting for a few of the
party who were running a side Une. A
source of amusement was watching
the descent of a large baldheaded eagle
in the eddy bauk of the point.
He would strike the water with
great force, coming down from an im
mense height. At times he Avould dlvu
under the surface to reappear a mo
ment or two later generally with a
fish clutched in his claws, when he
would fly (freighted with his fish) to
a very high mountain, on the over
hanging crest of which the nest with
his mate and young were quite visible
to us with our field glass.
I had noticed his success and Jour
neys to the nest fur two mornings. On
the third morning a shadow coming
across the sun's rays caused me to
look up and there was the great bird
at his usual hunt to supply the young
eagles with breakfast. With his keen
eye piercing the river depths he poised
over a particular snot for a few mo
ments and then shot down with the
velocity of a cannon ball.
The waters parted and the eagle was
lost to view. I watched and waited to
see him emerge with his prey, but mo
ments lengthened Into minutes, and
minutes Into a quarter of an hour, but
the surface of the water remained in
What could" it mean? Even if lie
had struck himself against some hid
den rock and been killed the body
would have floated to the surface. It
passed my reasoning powers to solvt;
the result of that plunge. Then far
down, fully a quarter of a mile off, I
saw the great bird struggling, either to
carry' off a heavy burden or to free
himself from one. I lie waters were
lashed Into foam and the bird again
disappeared, and all was still.
This lashing of the water and dis
appearing were repeated again and
again, each time farther downstream
A bend in the river prevented my
seeing the final result. Calling out
of our men from the tent, we embark
ed In a canoe and started down tin
river to view the strange proceeding
closer. When we had doubled the
point below I saw lodged against the
beach in a small bay something that
did not look natural to the place. We
paddled down and found it was my ea
gle fast fixed to a sturgeon fully six
feet long, ltoth were motionless. Tin1
king of fish and the king of birds had
met death. Forest and Stream.
Iliey Are llnritileNM In the Daytime.
hut VIi-Ioiin at XJfjht.
In the daytime, when sunlight stim
ulates their nutrition, plants can do
no harm in bedrooms, for then thev
give off oxygen and are useful hi ab
sorbing from the air the carbon which
is Injurious to animal life. The free
use which is made nowadays of flow
ers and plants in our hospitals is in it
self sufficient proof that this is a whole
some means of ministering mental
cheer and comfort to the sick ami suf
.At night the case Is different. Then
all plants and flowers are removed
from hospital wards, because they ex
hale the carbonic acid which thev have
gathered from the soil ami air and
wius give on uy a process similar to
respiration a gas which is injurious.
We may therefore conclude that dur
ing the hours of darkness, when the
respiratory process is active and the
Iltlf T-W f I'- .. ., ..1 ..I . . .1
.it u nuiiui.-iui. i;mis miouki
nave no place in our bedrooms. What
Is prudent In spacious wards Is imper
ative in smaller chambers.
"Why Stammerer Are A lilt to Sltir.
Stammering depends on a want of
harmony between the action of the
muscles (.chiefly abdominal) which ex
pel air through the larynx and that of
the muscles which guard the orifice by
which it escapes witn mat of inose
which modulate the sound to the form
of speech. Over either of the groups
of muscles by itself a stammerer may
have as much power as other people.
but he cannot harmoniously arrange
their conjoint action. Nervousness is
a freuueut cause of stammering. It is
possible that the defect In some In
stances mav result from malformation
of the parts about the back of the
mouth. The fact that stammering peo
ple are able to sing their words better
than to speak them has been usually
explained on the supposition that in
i - -
singing the glottis Is kept open so that
there Is less liability to spasmodic ac
tion.- r.oston Transcript.
Inspiration For a Hall Ooirn.
Among the many characteristic stories
that have been told of the methods
that were used by the great man dress
maker of Paris, Worth, In creating his
surprises there Is one of a commission
he received for a fancy gown which a
great belle desired to have absolutely
unique. The great man spent the night
consulting with his collaborators, but
the Idea refused to materialize. Weary
with their fruitless toil, the three art
ists stepped out on a balcony to rest
and forget their disappointment in a
cigarette. "Yoila! It Is the dawn!"
said one. "del! It Is the dress!" cried
Worth, and "Dawn," with its subtle
harmonies of gray and violet and rose
shot through with gold, was the suc
cess of the ball.
An F.ay Lcknoii.
"I am supposed to die of a broken
icart," said the unmanageable actress.
'Now, how am I to know how a per
son with a broken hvart behaves?"
'I'll tell you what to do," answered
the plain spoken manager. "You study
the author of this play after he sees
your first performance of it."
IIoiv It Happened.
Hawkins You look out of sorts, old
man. vt hat s me troinue; raruer
Just lost my new silk umbrella. Haw
kins How did it happen? Parker
ellow that owned it happened to
come in the office and recognized it
When Dr. John A. llartwell, better
known as "Josh" llartwell. was at
Yale he was asked by a professor what
would happen to a patient If his tem
perature were to get as low as possi-
ile. "Why. sir." llartwell gravely re
plied, "he would have cold feet."
EAGLE AND -S"i U
NEW SHORT STORIES
A Skittish Home.
Not long age a negro bishop of the
Methodist Episcopal church began a
revival series of meetings In Yirglnla.
In the front pew of the church cat an
old time darkv with gold rimmed
glasses, white hair and an air which
attested his long experience In the
world and his wisdom thereof.
"May the Lord preserve us from the
temptation to steal!" exhorted the
The old man brought his cane down
heavily on the floor and encouraged
the bishop with the Injunction. "Hide
dat boss, bishop!"
"Keep us from slandering our neigh
bor.''!" pleaded the shepherd of the
"Ride dat boss, bishop!" echoed the
id from the awful sin of lying!"
ide dat boss, bishop!"
"And from taking thy name in vain!'
"Ride dat boss, bishop!"
"From the demon drink pr -servt
The absence of the encouraging re
sponse was distinctly noticeable.
"From the demon drink pre-i I've
us!" called the bishop loudly.
There was no answer.
"What's the matter. brother Tr! :
ver?" finally asked the bislop. for th
entire congregation was puzzled.
"Well, yo' moiit ride dat bos-, i" ";
op," answered the old man. "bu I Fin!,
he gwine tub fling yo'!" .Ww Ye-;.
Jlnnnle lln.I to Will It.
When General Sherman was a boy
one of his intimate playfellows wa.
James G. PJauic. The two boys, to
gether with Uoyt. a yonm er brother of
the general, were out driving one day
when as they passed a flag waving li
the breeze .liminie I'.Iaine placed a
UK DltOVK OI'F, T,KAVINf5 JIMMIKTO TKA M !'
TUK TLX MILLS HOME.
thumb on the tip of his nose and made
a very disrespectful gesture toward the
"Did you mean to do that at the
flag':" demanded "Cumpie" Sherman.
his loyalty outraged.
"Yes; I did." declared Jlminie stout
"Well. If 3'ou tlo it again I'll put yo:
Nothing more was said, and tin
urive proceeded enjovablv. On tin.
way home the flair was passed a:;aln.
and again Jimmic Itlaine put bin
thumb tt the tip of his nose, and so
Cumpie reined In the horse, took the
struggling Jlinmir ami gentlv but firm
ly lifted him out of the wason. Then.
In spite of Iloyt's reiiionstr.siice that
that was not the proper way to treat a
guest, he drove off. leaving Jimmic to
tramp the ten miles home as best he
might. Llpplucott's Magazine.
ThI Marrlaire a Failure.
James Whitcomh Kiley. the dialect
poet, received the degree of doctor of
laws on Washington's birthday from
the University of Pennsylvania, says
the Philadelphia Press. Afterward he
visited the Academy of Fine Arts.
where his portrait by Sargent hung.
'While Sargent was painting my
portrait." the poet said, "he showed
me a copy of an unusual epitaph th.it
one of his friends hail sent him from
Yirglnia. It was the epitaph of a cer
tain John Custls. and It read:
"'Under this Marble Tomb lies ye
body of Hon. John Custis. Esq.-City
of Williamsburg and Parish of Hrut r.
formerly of Hunger's Parish on tl.-
Eastern Shore of Yirglnia. Countv of
Northampton, the place of his Naih
Ity. aged seventy years, yet lived but
Seven Years, which was the space of
time he kept a Haehclor's House at
"On the other side of the tomb." sal 1
Mr. Kiley. "these words were carve '
'This inscription put on this tomb
by his own Positive Order.' "
IleuTKiir Itfhuketl Him.
am disgruntled." said Senatjn
Foster recently. "I'll never give money
to a street beggar again as long as I
live. There was a very pitiful looking
beggar hi the avenue a few minutes
ago, and. my heart going out to him.
I stopped to hand him a few small
coins. I had some difficulty. I admit.
In finding my change, but was that any
reason for the beggar to frown at me
uuu ni) mu.iiweimj. inirry up. sir:
I've lost several customers while you've '
been muddllug over them pennies';' " - :
( . i I .... 1 I.. T T .
The Old KiikIUI, Sehool.
Colonel Anstruther Thomson, an
nged Englishman, says In a volume of
reminiscences that at a sehool which
he attended as a boy the students were
regularly dosed twice a year. "We
were marched up to Carmalt's desk
two and two. Two glasses of a horrid
compound of bark were on the desk,
and an usher stood on each side. We
had to drink the dose, turn to the
usher and put out our tongues to show
that we had swallowed It! This was
charged in our account: 'Wine, 5 shll-'
lings.' " i
WW I PSD
FISH FOOD NOT THE BEST.
Many Fallacies About a Diet on Sea
I'roductM Are Extant.
It Is doubtful whether any giveu
food In common use contains constitu
ents which have a selective action, so
to speak, on the property of minister
ing to one part of the body more thau
another. As a rule, when a food is as.
Hiimed to have specific reparative prop
erties-as, for example, a so called
food the fact really is
that such food is easily and quickly
assimilated to the body's general ad
vantage; in a word, In such a case re
pair quickly overtakes" waste and a
real purposeful nutrition and restora
tion are accomplished. Ihe adminis
tration of such elements as phosphorus
or Irou in medicine is. of course, a dif
ferent matter, but these elements are
evenly distributed in the materials of a
It Is often stated that fish is a food
which ministers particularly to the
needs of the brain, because it contains
phosphorus. As a matter of fact, fish
does not contain more phosphorus than
do the ordinary meat foods, and it cer
tainly does not contain it In a free
state. The notion that fish contains
phosphorus had no doubt its origin in
the glowing phosphorescence of fish in
the dark. This phosphorescence is due
not to phosphorus at uut to micro
organisms. The belief, therefore, that
fish Is a brain food is just about as
reasonable as the idea that because a
soup is thick and gelatinous "it will
stick to the ribs" or as sensible as the
celebrated advice to Yerdant Green
to lay In a stock of Heading biscuits to
assist his reading.
Fish, of course, Is excellent food.
partly because of the nourishing na
ture of its constituents and partly be
cause of its digestibility. Hut It Is in
no sense a specific for brain or nerve.
A HOUSE DIVIDED.
The Keacn a I'lanned Gooe Dinner
Wax a Failure.
Most persons have had the experi
ence of walking with a friend out of
step and trying to shift just at the
moment when the friend also makes
the attempt. This is an instance of
thwarted harmony much like that
which appears hi a story told by a
London journal of an elderly couple.
They were childless and had never
been united by the bond of other lives
linked with their own. So they were
always In a state of well bred disa
greement. On the subject of meals they disa
greed thoroughly, and each usually
suggested a dish for the Sunday din
ner which the other did not approve.
One Saturday the man came home
from market with a basket.
"You needn't worry about tomor
row's dinner any more. Maria. I've
"And so have I. Oeorge. You were
so undecided"- -
'Tiideeided! I told you what I want
ed." "Well. I mean you didn't decide as I
did. So I bought a goose."
"Why. so have I. I told you I'd like
"Well, now we are agreed for once
"Yes. and I suppose we'll have cold
goose and stewed goose for the next
two weeks." v
They relapsed into their usual si
lence. Sunday forenoon the wife asked.
"Do you want a little quince in the
apple sauce with your goose";"
"Your goose, you mean';"
"No. I don't. It seemed so absurd to
have two geese in the house that I
sent mine to Aunt Jane."
"What! I sent mine to Uncle Joe!"
A Cold In the Ileutl.
A hydropathic treatment of a colli
in the head Is more reliable than any
other. It is as follows: In the morning
after rising and at night before retii
ing wash the feet ami legs as high up
as the knees in cold water, then rub
them with a romrh towel .-mil jiims:i-'i
- - ------ -
them till the skin is red and glowing.
In addition to this cautiously snuff
tepid water up the nose frequently
uuring tlie day and sip with a tea
spoon a glassful as hot as can be
borne an hour before each meal and at
bedtime. A few days is often quite
sufficient for simple cases anil obsti
nate ones yield If the treatment Is pro
longed. No medicines are required.
If taken in the first stages of the dis
ease a cold is broken up which might
otherwise become a severe case of
bronchitis, lasting manv davs or
weeks. Chicago News.
A Suhxtltute For I.atln.
In an English school recently a cer
tain boy was regularly absent during
the hour in which Latin was taught.
The teacher called upon the boy's fa
ther, at whose Instructions it hail been
learned he remained away, and asked
for an explanation. The father said:
"It is all right. During the Latin hour
I am teaching Jimmy something that
he will find far more useful than Latin
in his progress through l""e" The
teacher was Interested and : . I
what this' subject might be. The fa
ther replied, "I am teaching my son
how to shave without a looking gla .-.'
Ate Their Cod.
1 lie gods of most South American
tribes of Indians are generally looked
upon as sacred, but when the gods be
come a nuisance It is time to put an
end to them; at least, that is what
certain tribe along the Zabari river
think. They worship the iguana and
monkey, bet as soon as the iguana
; started eating chickens they thought
' It time to stop worshiping him and
, to eat him in place of the chickens be
had eaten. This thev do. and thev pre
for Iguana stew to ci.lcken frie-ss.-e
AniUMlnRT the Children.
Mrs. McShantee (triumphantly) I
nee ye are takln' In washin again.
Mrs. McProutlee! Mrs. McProudce
(whose husband has lost a paying job
Sure It's only to amuse th' chillier
They wants th' wlndles covered wi.l
?team so they can make pictures on
"Don't you suppose It Is possible for
a man to go through the world without
telling a He?"
"I doubt It. Almost every man has
been In love at some time in his life."
Were Sot Thieve.
Enforcement of the recent rule that
under no circumstances will pfr;o:is
be permitted to carry packages from
the world's fair grounds ai St. Louis
without a special permit resulted in
four Chinese artisans destroying four
valuable carved wooden Images before
an astonished gatekeeper. The four
Celestial artisans hijjj been Instructed
to take the Images Trom the Chinese
pavilion to the Chinese commissioners
residing in the city, who had arranged
to have them gilded and painted to be
presented to distinguished world's fair
people as souvenirs. Through error nc
written permits to take the Images
from the grounds had been provided.
A gatekeeper stopped the four China
men and investigated their packages.
The Celestials could not understand
English, but they perceived that they
were not going to be permitted to car
ry the linages through the gates.
Thereupon each broke his Image Into
pieces. An Interpreter was summoned
rand quickly made it plain that the Chi
namen had broken the Images to prove
their innocence of theft.
"In China when a man is. accused of
stealing anything found In his posses
sion he Immediately destroys It to
show that he Is no thief," said the in
terpreter. New Orleans Times-Demo
At the bottom of Great Saffron hill,
London, Is situated what at one time
was one of the most hideous and dan
gerous slums. It is part of n ruinous
old tenement, exactly answering to the
description of the Infamous den to
which the Artful Dodger led Oliver
Twist as a new pal for a visit to
Greenland." The den had several
ominous looking staircases leading inti
dark and ill smelling passages ami had
plenty of cupboards available for
thieves' hoot v.
From the outhouses any of the light
fingered gentry could easily have drop
ed into the street, while the adjacent
house, condemned by the London city
council, was easily accessible. The last
named tenement, formerly a haunt for
vagrants, with all the conveniences of
a thieves kitchen, had associations of
the worst kind and has not come un
der the ban of the London parliament
a moment too soon.
Fa gin was a real character, named
Isaac Touch, who, when raided by the
police, was found to possess a peck
measure of watches. He had the name
of being a confederate In worse crimes
than training young thieves and buy
ing stolen property.
Tomato Vine a Tall a n Tree.
The skyscraper stage has been
reached in the development of the to
matt) in southern California. One of
the latest prodigies In that succulent
vegetable Is a group of three thirty
foot vines that have borne fruit at all
seasons and under all sorts of climat'c
conditions. These remarkable growths
are In the gardens of F. C. Case in
It is necessary to use an eighteen
foot ladder to harvest the tomatoes.
for the vines have covered a trellis
twenty feet in height, where thev have
tangled themselves into a thick, effin-"
pact mass of greenery. The seeds of
these wonderful plants were sown last
May and have been growing and bear
ing fruit ever since. In fact, the vines
are always filled with bloom ami both
green and ripe fruit. Los Angeles
Dot-tor Aenlu Dtxacrrr.
Some French doctors in Algiers do
not think that mosquitoes are carriers
of malarial Infection and offer to al
low thenisi Ives to be bitten by the
niiNt virulent examples which can be
found in that mosquito infected coun
try and to submit themselves to critic
al medical inspection for a sufficient
time to ascertain whether the malady
really develops. They will not take
any prophylactics and will give the In
sect and Its backers a perfectly s snare
deal. The reputation of the former as
a distributer of quartan ague Is not
quite so overbearing as it was a few
years ago. but a good many people in
Algiers and out of it still believe hi it.
and a scientific test on a new basis
will possess much interest.
Anierlen' Only Women' Hunt CXuh.
Denver boasts the unique distinction
of having the only hunt club In this
country composed exclusively of wo
men. This Arraya Hunt has a roster
of forty accomplished riders, with Miss
May Cordes as mistress of the hounds.
The two whippers in. who have charge
of the pack of fifteen hounds, are the
only men connected in any way with
the organization. Not only are all the
officers of the club, from president to
historian, filled by women, but they
make the various arrangements for
their meets and attend to all their own
matters of finance. The most Interest
ing feature of the Denver club Is that
every woman rides astride.-Illustrated
I'opnlnrity of Kater Lille.
The rise of the Easter lily Is one of
the most sensational features of green
house floriculture In America during
the last quarter of a century. Our
florists raise about r.000.0X) Easter
lilies a year. Assuming that only half
of these plants are sold, that each one
bears only two flowers (a good plant
should have six to eight) and that the
public pays ."0 cents a bud. It would
seem that the American people spend
at least ..100.000 for Mister lilies
every year.- Country Life In America.
A .Hatch For IHni.
At a political meeting in Wales the
chairman, a deacon of strong convic
tions, but no sense of humor. Intro
duced a speaker thus: "I haff to Intro
duce to you tonight the nu-t: uer for
the Carnarvon boroughs. He bass
come here to reply to what the bishop
of St. Asaph saitl the other night about
Welsh disestablishment. In my opin
ion, gentlemen, that bishop of Asaph
Iss one of the biggest liars- hi creashon;
but, thank goodness yes. thank good
nesswe haff a match for him tonight"
liat lie Meant.
New Boarder What did that fellow
mean in tlie dining room when he told
me he knelt before ten women this aft
ernoon? Did he propose to them?
Cravat Clerk No; he's a shoe clerk.