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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (April 16, 1903)
• A/W AZAWÀA/W A/ AAA/ I FORT « DEMAND’S ÌSCANDAL M KS. MAJOR MURNANE sail ed boldly across the paradt* ground. Miss Hubbard from her lounging chair on Cap tain Welr’a porch woke to sudden ani mation at tbe sight. “There she Is!” cried Miss Hubbard “And. oh. there's poor Lieutenant Vaughan—I beg bls pardon, the rich Mr. Vaughan! She’s as gracious as a duobesH, and he—I did think, for all his gray hair and plain looks, that be was a mau. But now—it Is simply disgust ing.” The thftig was so ridiculously evident that every dweller in Officers’ row was amused, but none dared speak bls ntlud before Mrs. Murnane, the C. O.'s wife. In the management of Mary Murnane’a love affairs remonstrance by eveu the major himself would have resulted dis astrously for the major. That m«.*ek old campaigner rather yearned for retirement, but Mrs. Mur uane objected. To leave tte army would have meant quick death, for her soul was soldered to the U. S. A. With such danger thredteulng she must take means to be au officer’s uiotber-ln-law and thus retain a considerable amount of Influence and authority. Lieutenant Vaughan had pro(>osed for Mary, aud, however things had ts-en in tbe past, be was now very eligible, with money and Influence. He bad been extremely poor when be first ven tured to love Mary, and Mrs. Muruanv had been worse than plain s|M)ken tc him. Mary had been very gentle with the hardworking, Ignored, middle aged lieutenant, and her mother had been angry at her forbearance. Now. bow ever, hla elder brother, a wealthy man and much In evidence in Washington, had died without a family aud without a will. The lieutenant was wealthy aud could command influence, could rise In the army list. Oh, meek old major, die as soon as you have got your retiring pension! Mother Muruane has arranged for her future amid the de lights of Washington. “Mary,” said tbe grim Mrs. Murnane, “Mary, my dear, I have misjudged Lieutenant Vaughan. Accept hlui. He la in every way wbut 1 should desire your husband to be.” “Hut—oh, mamma!” Mrs. Murnane put her gloved Auger to her lips and smiled condescending ly- "Mary,” she said, “I know all about thut young man Graves. Chut! When a girl Is your age, she always has a young man Graves. I have told Lieu tenant Vaughan that 1 have t>een mis taken and that he Is now welcome at headquarters. He seemed, I confess, surprised, but be laughed aud—er— blushed. My child, marry him and for get the young mau Graves.” "But—oh, inaiuruu!” "Mary Murnane,” her mother cried, with tbe gleam in her eyes whleb bad for years overawed tbe poor subalterns of the army, “I know wbat Is best for you, and I have told you what to do— accept Lieutenant Vaughan! Why, you used to like him.” And she mulched away. But, although Mary, like a well dis-- positioned young lady, should have been quite willing to marry him off hand at her mother's order—Mary sat down and wept. She was helpless. Consider that she knew nothing of the world outside strictly regimental laws. The fort was 125 miles from a railway, and nothing stretched be tween railroad and ¡»st but a few scattered ranches and the reservation of an Indian tribe. Iler friends chang ed from month to month. Her father, for all bls scars, was no help to her. Her mother was the ruler of her ways. What on earth could the lonely girl do but liow acquiescence? When the elderly and scarred Lieu tenant Vaughnn left Mrs. Murnane, be pass«*d on to the adjutant's office. In the room sat a young mnn who bore on Ills sleeves the sergeant’s chevrons of the signal corps. He rose ns liefltted his rank and received Vaughan with a smile of hope. "Sit down, sergeant," said the lieu tenant. He snt down himself and sigh ed. The two were silent for a moment, and then Vaughnn spoke, twirling a pen In his bands. “Have you,” said he. "all your sig naling apparatus ready for the expert ment?” “Quite ready,” the sergeant answer ed, with a quiver of excitement. "Then,” said Vaughan slowly, "the experiment will take place tomorrow afternoou. How's your weather report for tomorrow ?” * The slgnnl officer picked up a paper an which he had been making calculn tlons and read from It: “Slightly higher temperature; light winds from southwest.” Vaughan rose slowly and sighed • gain. “1 have a bit of news for you from Washington, Sergeant Graves, You uot* i need to rncuGon It, bat your nxanc la first for promotion. I think you can count on a commission in your corps Within a month.” “Good heaven, sir! If you only real ised what you have done tor me' — "For—for you? Well, you're a good fellow. Graves,” the lieutenant said, “but don’t (latter yourself that 1 did It for you.” “I know. I know,' said the sergeant and flushed and looked down. “I am hardly worthy’’— “Oh. don't slop over!" said Vaughan roughly. “Have yonr Instruments. cameras, everything, ready for tomor row. By tbe bye, have a heavy top coat ready. No; have two.” “I had thought of that.” "As we've thought of everything we ehould succeed,” said the lieutenant che«*rful!y. • •••«•• There was an evening at tbe C. O.’a that night, and Mrs. Murnane waa ur bane and gracious aa she glanced at Mary and Lieutenant Vaughan In a coruer. “I am so glad.” she »aid to Miss Hub bard, “that every obstacle has lieen satisfactorily arranged and that Mary is at last free to follow her own heart's lead." The lieutenant certainly looked devot ed aud' Mary much agitated at bl* rar nest advances. “It la such a dreadfully dangerous thing to du,” she was saying. "Oh. dun't look round at mamma! She'll auspect.” "She is entirely willing now.” Tears came in Mary** eye*. "Are you -sorry?" she said. Vaughan, with tbe elaborate courtesy of a past generation, kissed her band and. having done so, looked boldly Into the eyes of tbe C. O.’a wife. "She’s delighted to see us so ebum- he murmured to Mary, “so de- "8/«c is worthy ot you. lieutenant.’’ lighted that It seems almost a pity to elop«*. She would so much admire the feathers and trimming* and the regi mental band and the”— "Mr. Vaughan.” Mary almost sobbed, “you are speaking of my mother, and I —1 am an undutlfui, a wicked, a cruel, a wretched”— Vaughan drew closer to her. “Little girl,” be said, "I beg your pardon. 1 have no right to tease you, but you know as well as I do that when your mother is In the trenches It takes a lot of strategy to dislodge her. Now. listen. Tbe experiment takes place tomorrow afternoon. I'm ready. Are you?” Mary trembled. "Oh, I dare not!” "There Is no actual danger, and, upon tuy soul. If you don’t, 1 can’t see but that Mrs. Murnane will”— "What?” “Do as she wishes to do," cried the lieutenant almost angrily, “and, how ever happy that might make me, I could never agree to make you misera ble.” His voice was hoarse as he went on slowly: “If a man cannot sacrifice himself for the girl be loves, he has a very poor notion of what love really Is.” Mrs. Major Murnane rose from her seat, anti almost like soldiers Jumping to attention tbe otber ladies moved and rustled to tbe command. Mrs. Mur- nane inarched—one, two, halt—to her daughter and Lieutenant Vaughan. “Lieutenant Vaughan,” she said, “you have gained the love of an angel, and she Is worthy of you. God bless you both!" She kissed them each upon the brow and made a quick triumphant officer's about face and marched back to her seat. Mary slipped away, and Vaughan afterward hade lila hostess a dutiful farewell. He was out early tbe next morning, but It seemed that others had been up before him. He met Murnane ou the walk, and Mary's eyes were aglow, and she was a-trcmWe. She held out her ha nd. "I know all that you have done,” she said, "and I thank you so much. It is grand to have power and to use It es you have done, John.” “Now, what Is all this about?” “Don’t pretend you don’t know.” "But I don’t.” “Why, Arthur—I menu Mr. Graves— has bad a telegram. His commission Is signed, and we know you worked hard to push him to the front. Thank you. thank you!” “And who told you nt this early hour that he had got a telegram?” "I Just met 1dm.” she said. “Oh. dear—those early morning walks • nd morning rides!” "But now he is a commissioned offi cer. John, don’t you think my mother might yield a little? Do you think we really ought to do this?" "1 have known Mrs. Murnane,” said Vnughan slowly, “for twenty years, and 1 know that she will never yield. I confess I am afraid of her. and I be lieve If she perseveres she will really compel me to marry you.” “Oh. John, but this looks so desper ate a measure!” Vaughan looked round the broad plain. "Before you could get to tlie rail way," he said, "you would be overtak en, and Graves would be put under ar rest, and you would be sent to a con vent. Now, by my way you canuot be pursued, and. you see. you will compel your mother to give her assent. Three t/clock. please. You are a very nice girl. Mary, but I don’t want to be aero talking to you today.” At 3 o'clock tbe high bluffs behind Officers’ row were crowded. In the foreground were Mrs. Murnane and her staff of officers' wive*. They hung r.bout Lieutenant Vaughan and tbe major ami Arthur Graves, and Mr*. Murnane had a great deal to any. She xtiHxl well to tbe front and received belated congratulations on the engage* Bient of her child to Vaughan, and If Mary blushed and trembled at bearing them, why, that was natural. Vuughan was In great spirits, but Graves was i very nervous and silent, Very soon ( a great balloon rose, In- tint.-il. from the ground, bearing a car- Wage filled wlth all kinds of Instru- meats and Vauglian and Graves. It ans held captive by a single atout rope. It ascended to a considerable height and waa then brought down. “You would hardly believe It poeai- Ide. Mrs. Murnane,” said Vaughan to tlx* lady. “When you are up. you can «ee every bush and stray steer for miles nod miles. I took two or three shot* with the camera. They will give vuu a new idea of the country about But you should go up yourself. Won’t THE LONDON TAPSTER. you?’ lar* Laek Starle. That Taka tka But Mrs. Murnane Imperatively de Flaea °H> BeRRlaR. clined. The plain and open tapster wbo Re- ”1 could trust myself anywhere with you. Mr. Vaughan.” she said, “but I rosta you In the street purely to beg should get dizzy.” aiay generally be known by ar arnaz "Perluipe.” said Vaughan, "If Mlaa ing overpoll tenesa in opening the con Muruane would”— vertatiou. He la the only person I “Certainly.” cried Mr*. Murnane. know who beg» pardon for taking the "Mary, my love, please Mr. Vaughan.” Mury suddenly weut white, and liberty of speaking to you. aud by this I sign you shall know him. They all be Vaughan whispered, “Be brave!" II In by begging pardon for taking this “I am afraid,” said the girl. "What nonsense, Mary!” her mother : not »o very rare liberty, but only the cried. “There's nothing to be afraid of. iluffer* go on straightway to Up. Tbe proficient tapatera approach tbe tap Go along.” Vaughan led her to tb<* car of the bal s^leway». <to to speak. Something like loon. where none was allowed but this, with a quick touch of the hat those employed, in a few minute* tbe brim: "Beg pardon, sir, I’m sure 1 'umbiy balloon »oared again, higher and high er. und Vaughan, to Mr». Murnane’a beg your pardon for takln’ the great great astonishment, walked calmly liberty of apeaktn’ to you in a public thoroughfare like thia, which I am back to the ladles. “Mr. Vaughan.” cried the C. O.’a quite aware it is a great liberty, air, wife, “what have you done with Ma- though trustin’ you will kindly pardon the great liberty of a pore, ’ardworkln' ry?” man. sir, in takln’ tbe great liberty of "She’s up In the balloon, of course.” “And with whom. pray, since you are askin’ if this street is the 'Aymarket, sir?” (Or the way to the Strand or the here?” “With Lieutenant Graves. He's the day of the month, or something.) You answer the question, but you aeronaut, you know, and there’s only don’t stop the stream of apologetics. comfortable room for two.” Mr». Murnane grew purple. "Thank you. kindly, air," pursue* the "Bring them down, sir!" she com tapster, pouring out tbe words, “thank manded with the voice of a battalion you kindly, sir, If you’ll so far pardon chief "Alone with that man! Mr. the liberty of a pore, ’ardworkin’ man, Vaughan, you ought to have bad more sir, In askin’ tbe question, which un sense, ami Mary engaged to you!” fortunately I was forced to take the "Engage«! to—me?” great liberty, sir, through bein’ out o' The pc pie around bad all their eyes work eighteen month* an’ nothink to uml ear»'and most of tbelr mouth* eat since last Tooeday fortnight, air, Wldeopeu. Mrs. Murnane gasped. ujion my word of honor, which notblnk "Do you deny the engagement?” but the cries for bread of fourteen "Why. luy deur lady.” said Vaughan young children in arms would prevail very coolly. "I thought you were under on me, sir—so igstreme kind as you’ve :l lulsnpprehenslon lust uight. Did you bin to me, sir, which I shall never for not know Miss Murnane refused my get—to take the very great liberty, air. offer ?" in a public thoroughfare, of askin’ “The dlsoliedlent— She dared!” which Is tbe nearest work’ouse?” "But you yourself told me very plain If once more you give him informs ly to cease any attentions to your tlon Instead of coppers, you only pro daughter.” voke another speech of the same sort, “I? Oh. that was months ago!” for he can go on like that for a deal "I am unaware,” said tbe lieutenant longer than you want to listen. It la "ravel.v, “that anything ar all has hap only in tbe extreme that be will direct pened In that time which should have ly ask for money, though I fancy that altered your mind on such a subject” it is merely caution that mark* his Mrs. Murnane changed from purple guarded way, as they say in the lyric, to a horrible yellow aud gripped her for if accused of begging by some parasol like a club. Miss Hubbard tit watchful policeman be can always plead that he was only asking a harm tered audibly. Then the iudignaut mother marched less question. And the questions are rapidly over to the man in charge of endless in variety. I give my solemn the rope which held tbe balloon. Sud word that I was once buttonholed by denly be began to yell. one of these seedy tapsters with the "I.ettenant — Leftenant Vaughan, apologetic request that I would tell plase. yer honor, come here quick! The him the number of stars on tbe na ro|>e's slippin’, the balloon’s tuggiu’! tional flag' of tbe United States! Tbla Quick! Ob. murther!” Is a simple fact.—Leona rd Larkin in Mrs. Murnane charged on tbe mau In tbe Strand. a fury. Vaughan followed leisurely. They were too late. The rope slipped, AN ARCTIC MEAL. and before a fair wind the balloon sail ed suKMithly away, tbe desperate* lover» Gettlas Supper For Mea aad Dose waving adieu. oa the Polar Ice Sheet. Mrs. Murnane did not faint. She Dogs were unhitched and fastened, a* walked over to Lieutenant Vaughan usual, aud then each of tbe Eskimos and shook her parasol in bis face. climbed over the Ice foot with bis snow “Mr. Vaughan,” she screeched, "do knife aud disappeared behind tbe para you know uiy daughter Is In that bal pet. where the other two were already loon with a man wbo loves her?” cutting snow blocks. I fastened my Vaughan look«*! longingly at the fast dogs, got out their ration of pemmlcan, disappearing balloon, and bis weary out It up and fed them, standing by eyes w re wet. He turned to Mrs. with whip in hand to see that there Murnane aud held out bls hand to the was no bullylug, and that each dog got frantic lady. bis share. Then I unpacked tbe cooker, "With a man wbo loves her,” be oil can and kitchen box, passing them aald, "and with a man she loves. Is It up the ice foot as high as I could reach. not? Be gentle, dear Mrs. Murnane. I did not wait for the completion of the Was It not a happy accident?” Igloo to commence my preparations for The old woman In a passion of tears supper, but with a few strokes of the flung the offered hand aside and went spade excavated a niche in the snow home. bank, put the cooker in out of the wind, It was only a few hours afterward filled the lamp with oil and the boiler tliat tlie major received a hysterical with Ice, placed a few snow blocks telegram from Mary. It came from a around it for stffl better shelter and railroad station where Graves had lighted up. By the time the igloo was dropped the balloon: completed I had enough water melted Foiglve—married—mother entirely in control. for our tea, aud supper was entirely Had to do as alie said—could not—next to your ready by the time my men had fed the self and to Arthur—the best, most unselfish man dogs, and they lost no time In freeing In the world is Lieutenant Vaughan. their clothing of snow and Joining me In the Igloo. Still less time was con PICKINGS FROM FICTION. sumed in putting away the tea and bis cuit and pemmlcan, and less again In Ambitious people must always be dis falling off to dreamless slumber.—Com appointed people.—"Fame For a Wom- mander Robert E. I’eary in Outing. an." Tbe best kind of courage often conies Saw the Whole of It. from a full stomach —“Captain Mack Alexander weeping because the world lln.” was so small has a counterpart in an Love la like honey—It must lie taken old inhabitant of Luas, a pretty little by sips. One must not swim In It.— village on Ix>ch Lomond side, Scotlaud, "The Pharaoh and tbe Priest.” who at last has been persuaded to The man wbo Is weakened In well climb the mountaiu which has tilled so doing by tbe ingratitude of others is large a part of bls horizon all the days serving God on a salary basis.—“The of his life. In Luss he has lived, as his Power of Truth.” fathers lived before him, and from Nine times out of ten a woman fulls Luss he has never had the ambition to through love, and she must be reached Journey, even as far as Glasgow. But by love if she la to be restored.—"Down some one got him to tbe top of Ben Lo In Water Street.” mond tbe otber day. "Eh, mon,” said he, with great self Don't call yourself a friend and be thinking all the time what tbe otber congratulation, “but the world's a big side of the friendship can do for you. place when ye come to view the whole of it!” —"Aunt Abby’a Neighbors." Philosophy Is primarily a matter of Rat 1a Mis Beat. food; secondarily, a mutter of clothes; i A certnln congressman was very busy it does not concern tbe bead at all.— at his desk in the house one morning "Two Thousand Mlles ou an Automo- when a page announced, “A gentleman bile.” in the lobby to see you, sir.” “Tell him Half the trouble of this troubled I’m not in my seat,” said the congress world comes from the fact that, for man after looking at the card. The oue reason or another, women are not boy, a sturdy looking chap, did not able to look up to the men with whom move. “But you are In your seat, sir,” they have dealings.—“The Vultures.” he answered in matter of fact tones, A Casale of Inecrlplloaa. "I was in New York one day and took a trip down to Coney Island," said the agent of a Pittsburg nail utiti. ’I bad heard of the stick feiiow* down there, and so I left my watch at home and carried a dummy across which I pasted a slip of paper bearing the word*. 'Look Inside for a fool.’ I liadn't got the aalt taste of tbe ocean yet when tbe watch disappeared, and It was three hours later, as I sat in a booth drinking beer, when I felt that watch In a side pocket of my coat. I pulled It out in amazement, and I found my slip of paper replaced by one t»e*ring tbe words. ‘Ixmk outside for an ass!' It may be that I got the bulge on tbe gang, but somehow I have always thought that they camt out a trifle ahead—Just a trifle.” Barberin* I eed ta Be aa Art. Time was when harboring was a way up art. In ancient times barbers were surgeons, tbe only persons wbo could scientifically “let blood. " In Loudon there Is still a barber surgeon class. They possess a cap given the guild by Charles II. Around tbe barber's pole still twines tbe snake, tbe subtlest beast of tbe field, a survival of tbe bra- sen serpent lifted up In tbe wilderneaa. the symbol of tbe healing art. "and I can’t say you are not.” The congressman looked at the lad angrily, but. seeing that he was In earnest, moted Into tbe vacant chair of bls neighlMtr. "Now tell him l'm not in my seat.” v'Yea, sir,' said ti»e buy briskly and went to deliver the message. EaRBRenaeat BlaRS. The cvs » ab ' of girine engagement ring* rank* back to long before the Christian ent. With tbe ancient Egyp tians engagement ring* were always of Iron, to Indicate tbe mutual ascri tte« of liberty of the contracting par ties. One of the very earliest adornments of betrothal rings was a loadstone, which symbolised the attractive force which drew a maiden from her own family circle into that of her husband. It is believed that tbe fourth finger has always been tbe bride's ring finger. Hard ta Far* With. The man at our boarding house has the remain* of a once prosperous pocket comb, from which tbe teeth ha ve long since fled. "Why.” we ask him, "do you carry that -thing around with you—that Worthless old comb?” And be replies: "Well. I can't part with It"—Balti liore News. A national phantoms NAPOLEON'S AWFUL HAND. Di (HOSTS THAT HAUNT THE UNITED STATES CAPITOL. ; A Mary «4 Serelrrs That Malk al . MlRhl Wbea tbe Halls at LeRlala- tlaa Are Gleecxy aed Deserted, ae ' Teld by Mae ef tbe Old Geards. Like moat repositories of good stories, tbe ancient man wbo has spent dec- ■ ides as a guard in tbe capitol in Wash- I lngton did not yield up the fullneea of bla narrstory riches without a struggle. "It’s unpleasant to be made a mock of by the skeptical,” be protested. “Do you believe in ghosts, young mau?” "If anawerlug in tbe affirmative be gets au Interesting tale. I do.” returned tbe writer. "Well, slurring on tbe premise that you du believe to some extent lu the su|ieriiatural. 1 will admit you to my confidence.” resumed tbe old guard, and here go«*» for the authentic yarn of the spooks that haunt tbe nation's capitol: “In the loug, monotonous watches of the night Innumerable are tbe s)*ooks. hobgoblins and tbe eerie, vapory thing» which glide from the shadowy nooks aud crannies of the intangible nowhere to people the capitol'* vast stretch«** of darkness. Of course you know of tbe extraordinary acoustic freaks which obtain in many parts of the great building—how a whisper, a breathed word at oue particular point Is audible at another score* of feet dis tant? Yes. Now, at night these acous tic spirit» simply go mad. Where they by day were pygmies they expand into giants, aud a whistle, a sudden sound, a footfall, resolves Itself into a pan demonium. "Weird, terrifying noise* beat upon the eardrums of the watchmen a* they pursue their lonely patrols through the seeming mile* of corridor*, and then the spooks, the shades of tbe nation'* great, the astral bodies of those that tolled lu obscurity for the nation’s good, dodge the watchmen’s step, some grand and awful in their speechless dignity, some creeping humbly about in apologetlc silence, some laughing, soine sobbing, but all of tbetn horrible —horrible.” Th«* old man paused to muse. “Do you know.' ,” be said, breaking Into bls owu reverie explosively, “Feb. 23 is a date dreaded by many of tbe capitol night guards? It was ou this day. lu 1848. that John Quincy Adame died In tile chamber of the bouse of representatives, now Statuary ball, where tbe exact spot is marked by a brass tablet. Promptly at midnight ou every anniversary of his death the shade of John Quincy Adams appears In a sort of phosphorescent glow over this brass tablet. Ob. dozeus of guard* have seen it from time to time as well as I. and I can refer you to many of them for affirmation of my assertions. "Once over tbe spot tbe shade begins to gesticulate, after tbe manner of a member addressing tbe bouse. Then, all of a sudden, tbe fine face becomes distorted aud agonized, tbe gracefully waving arms fall convulsively, and down sinks tbe shade with all the movements of an expiring wan. Then the phosphorescent glow fade* away, and tbe ethereal effigy dissolve*. "But. although lost sight of. its pres ence Is still made known by tbe 'clump. Hop. clump. Hop.’ of jpvlsible foot fall* departing down one of tbe long vacant corridors. "Stranger than this Is tbe ghost of tbe entire congress of 1848, which ap pears In vigorous if spooky session ev ery once In awhile in Statuary ball, tbe old ball of representatives, as I have previously remarked. luaudlble, but spirited, are tbe debates; energetic to tbe bursting point of vehemence are tbe Bilent political dissensions. Pro voked by a doubting Thomas, a mem ber of tbe capitol night watch aeveral years ago made affidavit that be bad seen this ghostly congress in session. Yes. be was a sober man aud true. “The shade of General John A. Lo gan Is a frequent visitor at tbe capitol* Almost every alternate night at half past 12 o'clock this ghost materializes at tbe door of tbe room occupied by the senate commi’tee on military and militia. Silently the door swings open, and out steps tbe looming and lumi nous presence, to stalk In stately dig nity away Into tbe swallowing gloom. This Is a favorite phantom with tbe guards. Its conduct Is exemplary. “Then there is tbe shade of Vice President Wilson, wbo died In hla room In tbe senate end of tbe capitol, you wllb recall. Its peregrinations are few and desultory. When It does come, there is always an expreasion of con cern and aelf absorption in tbe ghostly face. Tbe movement* of tbe vapory body are restless and hurried. "All of tbe older member* of the night watch are well acquainted with Vice President Wilson's apparition and never tall to salute IL although, truth to tell, tbe shade remalna haughtily In different to tbelr deference. This spook rarely falls to put In an appearance when the body of a dead legislator or statesman of national renown is lying In state in the capitol. "Deep in tbe subcellar vaults spook* of lesser magnitude revel in hordes. Immediately beneath tbe hall of rep resentatives every night la to be found a tall, erect, gaunt specter, whose Iden tity La* remained a aiystery for y-ara tn aplte of unceasing efforts on the part of tbe night watch to uncover the secret of its origin aud anteced ents. Its band* are clasped behind Its transparent back in a convulsive clutch, and tbe face evince* a condi tion of emotion* prodigiously wrought upon. Many attempta have been made by guards with rubber soles on their shoes to catch this wraith unawarea, but failure is the Invariable result Presto! It baa blown Into thin air be fore tbe aleuthlng watchman Is witbin forty feet of it"—New York Herald. Ureal Mi are at Waterlee. •ail. Napoleon, according to Alexander Duma*. lost such battlea a* be did lose because lie wrote such a fieudlsh band. His generals could not read hl* notes and letters, typewriting bad not been Invented, and the trembling marshal*, afraid of disobeying and striving to in terpret the indecipherable commands, loitered, wandered and did not come up to tbe scratch, or not to the right scratch. Thus Waterloo waa lost. Can not you fancy Grouchy banding round Napoleon's notes on that sanguinary Sunday? "1 aay." cries the marshal to his aid-de-camp. "la that word Gem- bloux or Wavre? I* tbla Blucher or Bulow?” So probably Grouchy toaaed up for it. and tbe real word* may have been none of these at which he offered Ills conjecture*. Meanwhile on tbe left and center D'Erlon and Jerome and Ney were equally puzzled aud kept on sending cavalry to places where it was very uncomfortable (though our men aeldoni managed to hit any of tbe cav aliers, flring too high) and did no sort of go m I. Na|Kileou may never have been apprised of these circumstances. His old writing master was not on the scene of action. Nobody dared to say. "Sire, wbat does tbla flgure of a ceuti- ped mean, and how are we to construe these two thick strokes flanked by blots?" The Imperial temper was pep pery; the great man would have torn off hla Interrogator’* epaulet* und danced upon them. Did he uot onee draw his pistol to shoot a little dog that barked at tils horse? And when tbe pistol missed Are the great soldier threw It at tbe dog and did uot hit bltn. The little dog retreated with the hon ors of war. Such was the temper of Napoleon, and we know what Marlborough thought of tbe value of au equable temper. Nobody could ask Bonaparte to write a legible baud, so Ills generals lived a life of conjecture as to his meaning. and Waterloo was not a suc cess, and the emperor never knew why. Of all Ills seven or eight theories of bls failure at Waterloo, hts handwriting was not one. Yet if this explanation bad occurred to him Napoleon would certainly have blamed ills pens, ink mid paper. Those of Nelson at Copen hagen were very bad. "If your guns are no better than your pens,” said a Danish officer wbo came In under a flag of truce before the fight and was asked to put a message into writing, "you had better retire."—Andrew Lang In Longman’s Magazine. SICKROOM PHILOSOPHY. Never confine a patient to one room If you can obtain the use of two. Never play tbe piano to a sick person If you cau play on strings or sing. Never stand and fidget when a sick person is talking to you. Bit down. Never complain that you cannot get a feeding cup if there Is a t«*apot to be bifll Instead. Never read fast to a sick person. Tbe way to make a story seem short is to tell It slowly. Never Judge tbe condition of your patient from bls appearance during a conversation. See how he look* an hour afterward. Never put a hot water bottle next to the skin. Its efficiency and the pa tient’s safety are both enhanced by surrounding the bottle with flannel. Never allow the pa’’ nt to take the temperature himself. Many patients are more knowing than uurses where there Is a question of temperature. The Title at “Mr«." BLAIE, MOFFITT tTIWNE !«*•«▼!■• •CAL««« *» PIPERS WRAPPING... ■ OARO «TOOK ...Straw and Bindern’ Board... as-AT-M»-*' Firat Street T»L Mai* IM. 13 SAN FBANC1IMXX WHY WE ARE AGENTS Nero Are Some of the Convincing Facta That Caused uo to Take the Agency lor the Fulton Com pounds. the First Things Known that Cure Chroaic Kidney Dis eases. First, let II ks Alsllastly udersteoC tkal every one of leeoeaee below h*<l beeudt*«iu*e4 by oe* or more pby*iol*u* as chronlo **4 I* curable; seueaA. so** tbe eerlelety of the re sult* *s shows by the recovery also ot the trleodi they told who wore similarly stBloled wilb suppoood lacurablo kidney dlaeaaea. N. W. Spaulding. President Bpauldlu* Saw Cb , Saa Franolioo, had a reoovery la bla owa family and told sevaral others a bo recovered. Adolph Weak*, oapllallat, San Francisco, recovered himself and told two friend* who ra- ^DrCarl D. Zlele, pioneer druffisl, tat Pacific street, San Fraaclaco, recovered himself and cave It to more than a dotes pa Henle who re covered. Charles Engelke. editor of the German paper. Ban Francisco, recovered himself and told II to a number wbo reooverod, one ot them being Charles F. Wacker, the Sixth at res I merchant. R M Wood, editor Wine and Spirit Review, recovered himself end lold II to several who reooverod, among them being an old-school physician. Bdward Short of the Saa Fraaaiaee Call so- covered, also throe ot hie friends, ria: William Marlin, Captain Hubbard ot Ibe Honolulu route aad William Hawkina ot the U. S. Quarter- master'* Department ot San Francisco. John A Pbelpe of the Hotel Repeller, Saa Franciaco, and two othla trlendc. etc elo The kidneys are the sewers that strain the Sicons out of the system. We can aland the rangemenl tor a abort while, but when tbe lutorterenoe becomes chronic (permanent), aa ■rat explained by Bright, 11 la only a question ot how long before death will enauo. It is then called Bright* Dleeaee aad Incurable. AU kidney troubles develop into thia form about the Mb to Wth month. Tbe above eases were Incurable by all other known mean*. People having kidney dleeaee ehould begin at Bret with the oily known thing that will cure It it it ban reached the aerioua close. Fulton’* Renal Compound tor Bright'* ar a Kidney Dieaaoea, 11: for Diabeiea, (IK) John J. Fulton Co., Washington street, Ban Fraucleoo. aol* com pounder* Bead for nuufiUtal. W* WO th* nolo agent* tor this city. Save the Baby. The mortality among babies during the thiee teething years is something frightful. The census of 1900 shows that about one in every seven succumbs. The cause is apparent. With baby's bones hardening, the fontanel (opening in th* skull) closing up and its teeth forming, all these coming at once create a demand fur bone material that nearly half the little systems are deficient in. The result Is peevishness, weakness, sweating, fever, diar rhoea, brain troubles, convulsions, etc., that prove terribly fatal. The deaths in 1900 under three years were 304,98«, to say nothing of the vast number outside the big cities that were not reported, and this in the United States alone. When baby begins to sweat, worry or cry out in sleep don’t wait, and th* need It neither medicine nor narcotics. What the little system is crying out for is more bone material. Sweetman’s Teething Food sup plies it. It has saved the lives of thousands of babies. They begin to Improve within forty-eight hours. Here is what physicians think of It. 2934 Washington St., San Francisco, June 2, 1902. Gentlemen—I am prescribing your food in the multitude of baby troubles due to Im peded dentition. A large percentage of in fantile ills and fatalities are th* result of slow teething. Your food supplies what th* deficient system demands, and I have had surprising success with it. in scores of cases this diet, given with their regular food, has not failed to check the infantile distresses. Several of the more serious cases would, 1 feel sure, have been fatal without it. It can not be too Quickly brought to tbe attention of the mothers of the country. It is an ab solute necessity. U C. MENDEL* M. D. Petaluma, Cal., September 1, 1902. Dear Sirs—I have just tried the teething food in two cases and in both it was a auc- cess. One was a very serious case, so crith cal that it was brought to me from another city for treatment. Fatal results were feared. In three days the baby ceased worrying and commenced eating and is now well. Its action in this case was remarkable. I would ad vise you to put it in every drug stere in this city. Yours, I. M. PROCTOR, M. D. The title Mrs. waa In olden time ap Sweetman’s Teething Food will carry baby plied to unmarried as well a* to mar safely and comfortably through the most dan gerous period of child life. It renders lanc ried women and to young as well as ing of the gums unnecessary. It is th* safest old. Sir Walter Scott spoke of Joan plan and a blessing to the baby to not wait symptoms but to commence giving It the na (unmarried) as Mrs. Joanna Baillie. for fourth or fifth month. Then all the teeth Although it was not perhaps so univer will come healthfully, without pain, dis sal to address quite young children as tress or lancing. It Is an auxiliary to their regular diet and easily taken. Price 50 cents it was those over twenty-one by the (enough for six weeks), sent postpaid bn re ceipt of price. Pacific Coast Agents, Inland title of Mrs., yet it was frequently Drug Co., Mills Building, San Francisco. done. Tlie most ludicrous example of this occurs in tbe register of burial* for the parish of St. Margaret, West ■ Hat Cras» Baas. minster. The burial of Milton's second In Its early days, when, it is to be wife and that of bls infant daughter, hoped, it was more toothsome than it iiaiWMl after her. who died at tbe age Is now, tbe hot cross bun played some of five months, are both recorded in part in converting the people of these that register, the name in each ease Islands to Christianity. Pagan England being entered as "Mrs. Katberin Mil was in the habit of eating cakes in ton,” without any mark of distinction honor of tbe goddess of spring, and save tbe letter "C” for “child,” after Christian missionaries found that tbe second name. Even In the reign of though they could alter the views of George II., hr we read In “Pope’s Let the people in reference to religious ters,” unmarried ludies used to be matter* they could not Induce them to styled Mrs. withhold from tbe consumption of con fectionery. So they put tbe sign of tbe Woadertal Insect Vitality. cross upon the bun of the Saxon era It is a standing puzzle to tbe ento and launched it upon missionary enter mologists how frail little insects of the prise which baa extended through the mosquito and butterfly order can brave Intervening centuries and survived till the cold of an arctic winter and yet re now.—London Tlt-BIta. tain tbelr vitality. Tbe larva of tbe milkweed butterfly has been exposed A Wet t'a»tor»lla. to an artificial blast 08 degree* below Never leave an umbrella standing on zero. Taken out of range of this arti the point in tbe ordinary way when ficial blizzard and gradually "thawed wet. The water trickles down, spoiling out" this same worm was able to creep tbe silk and making tbe wires ruaty. It In less than half an hour afterward. Is also a mistake to open it and leave it Butterflies have been found flitting Joy standing, as this stretches the silk, ously alvout In tbe highest latitude man making It baggy so that it is Impossi has ever penetrated, and the mosqui ble to fold it smoothly. The proper toes of Alaska and Greenland are way Is to shake out as much of the known to be the healthiest specimens water as possible, then stand tbe um of that race of little pest*. brella on Its handle to drain. oi C’ktoeoror«« os rll»«»’« It takes a very large dose of chlo roform to anaesthetize tbe Chinaman. He |>as»es under It* Influence more slowly and rarely shows the eicltement oileu characteristic of tue initial stage of amrstheaia. Still more rarely doe* be suffer from sickness on bls return t* consciousness. Thia greater apathy of nature helps to recovery from severe accident* and operations.—London Hos pital. A Basle For Social aaeeeaa. Mr. Blank-I was rather amused to bear tbe children soulplng about tlieir Gaad Easash as It Is, little playmates. “Doctor. If a pale young man named Mrs. Blank -Tbe little dean! if they Jinks call* on you for a prescription only keep on, bow they will shine in don't let him have It” polite society when they grow up!—Ttt- "Why not?" Blta. "He want* something to Improve hla appetite, and be board* at my house.” Ideas generate Ideas, Ilka a potato, which cut In piece* reproduce* Itself In CaaraapatbaSia. a Multiplied form. "Thia Is a cold, unfeeling world,’’ ba Brine spring* flow under th* town ot remarked bitterly. Norwich, England. They bar* been “Ha!” returned bla companion. "You too. have beard tbe ribald laugh when there for centuries and war* used for you *ilp|*ed ou a banana akin, have th* production of aalt long before the Chrtatlan •*• you?’ Caiapas fatuas Arc Odloa*. Perkins, Jr.—Why don’t ye buy that horse of Seth's, pop? He's got a One pedigree. Perkins. 8r.—Pedigree! The question la. Is be wutb anything? Why, boy, them sassiety folks wbat comes here in tbe summer haa pedigrees.—Brook lya Life. A Barrier. ■What have you In the way of beef steak today?' naked tbe clwerful cus tomer wbo hadn't paid bla bill. "Well,” replied the frank butcher, “1 reckon about the only thing In tbe way la Its price.”—Baltimore News. lavaatlaatlaa the Delay. Bunday School Teacher—And It took Noah 100 years to build tbe ark. Street Arab—What was tbe matter? Waa there a strike?—Puck. Maaple. Ethel—A sixteen page letter from G«*orge! Why, what on earth doe* he ••yr Mabel—Ha aaya be lore» me.—Pitts burg Gazette.
