BANDOX RECORDER.
I POLLY LARKIN. |
GAVE'HiM rll3 OWN WAY.
Aa4 Thea tke ('«»torn«» Bruaaht tbe
aba« Clark la Tima.
“Now, there," »aid the abua »ale»
man, “la Just wliat yon want."
•■1» it?’ naked the prospective cue-
turner. "I thought I said”—
"Just let me put it on," Interrupted
the salesman.
*
"But it 1» my recollection”—
"Couldn't have a better fit,” broke la
the saleemun. “Everybody in wearing
I hem, aud they're a bargain."
"Oh!"
“Let me put on the other.” Then,
after a moment: “There you are, air.
Couldn't be better. Tbreefifty, pleaae."
“For wliat?’
“For the »hoe»."
“But I don't want the shoes. You
nuked me to let you put them on, and
I was courteous enough to let you do
it. I al way» try to be obliging. You
»aid they were Just what I wanted,
but that was your Judgment, and I’m
a. ciiNlomed to back my own. Now, If
you've had all the divertIsement In
th!» matter that you dealre, will you
please trot me out a pair of shoes ac
cording to the pilaus and specifications
1 gave you when I came In. aud per
Imps we can do business? I have found
by experience that the only way to get
what one wants from a shoe clerk Is to
let him have his own way for the first
fifteen or twenty minutes, and then be
limy lieeome tractable.”—Chicago Post.
Jonah and the Whale.
There Is nothing in the original texts
of the Bible to »how that the creature
which we are told »wallowed Jonah
was really the same animal we call a
“whale” in this day and age of the
world. The word translated into both
the Heptuaglnt and the New Testament
was the (¡reek word “Katos,” which
means simply a sea monster, and thia
word was the one used by our laird In
his reference to the account of Jonah's
exploit. So fur, therefore, as the He
brew or Greek words are concerned,
the monster may have been a shark, a
sea serpent or some other uncanny den
izen of the deep.
Hence there Is nothing iucredible in
the statement that JormJi, upon being
thrown into the sea, was quickly over
taken by some water monster aud
swallowed without suffering mutila
tion. To Blblicul students It Is a well
known fact that a vessel sailing from
Joppa to any Spanish port must puss
through a section swarming with a spe
cies of shark culled a "sea dog.” The
sea dog bus a throat large enough to
swallow fulr sized men.- St. Iaiuls Re
public.
She Pricked Her Flaser.
A maid employed by a prominent
New York family came to her mistress
with tears in her eyes not many days
after she had been lu the household
and suid that she bail pricked her fin
ger with a table fork.
“1 am terribly worried, ma'am,” she
said, “for fear the fork may have hud
some brass In It and liuve poisoned my
hand.”
“Oh, nonsense, Mary!” replied the
lady of the house. “Ilow could the
fork poison you when it is made of
pure silver? 1 never allow anything
else on my table.”
The next day Mary aud the fork
which had pricked her and all the oth
er forks and, In fact, the whole table
Bervlee, guaranteed by the mistress to
be solid silver, had disappeared for
parts unknown.
The Java Maaaoateea.
"The most delicious of all the frulti
of Java,” writes a correspondent of tbe
Pittsburg Dispatch, “is the mangos
teen. For years an enormous reward
awaited the man who would bring a
basket, to tbe court of Holland, but un
fortunately the fruit is too |>erlshable,
and to taste It you must go to tlie coun
try where it grows.
Incused in a bard purple shell, lined
with an exquisite pink gauze, are a
number of snow white sections some
thing like those of un orange, only each
one growing smaller us they round the
core. Each section contains one seed
Incused in a substance like the pulp of
tbe grn|>e. To describe the flavor would
be Impossible, but If you can imagine
a perfect blending of the flavor of tbe
grape, orange, pineapple and banami
you may have u notion of the delicious
flavor of the mangosteen.”
Jxnoa Settled It.
Two boys in u rural Scotch district
were one duy discussing what sign It
was when the cuckoo is heard for the
first time in the year. One of them
said it was a sign of getting married,
while the other said it was a sign thut
you were going to be rich. A farmer,
overhearing them, said, "That cannot
lie true, because I have beurd it many
times, and I um not married yet, and
I am certainly not rich.”
Just then a local worthy, known as
“Daft Jamie,” was passing by, aud the
farmer said, “Jamie, can you tell us
what sign it Is when you bear the
cuckoo for the first time?” “Yes,” said
Jamie as he took his pipe from his
mouth, “It’s a sign you're not deaf.”
Scotch Thrift.
The ferryboat was well on her way
wi.en a violent »♦nrrr> rws»_a.,ad fears
were entertained for her safety.
The ferryman and his mate, both
Scotchmen, held a consultation, and
after a short debate tbe ferryman turn
ed >o irU paaiMug«*» and rsuurked
anxiously:
"We’ll just tak’ yer tuppences noo,
for we no ken what might come ower
ua.” Loudon Answers.
Mistletoe.
The prettiest thing aliout mistletoe Is
Its milky while opalescent berries. The
stems and foliage seem to betray the
parasite nature of the plant In their
unwholesome shade of green, a pecul
iarly unwholesome shade characteris
ing tbe stems. It Is an uncanny sort of
plant Most imrasites are. Is there
anything more |>oaltlvely ghostlike than
the plant wo kuow as Indian pipe (mo-
Botropa)?
“What makes you dig aud delve and
always be trying lu aueotupliah some-
thuig when you have lieeu disappointed
so many times? Why dou't you lake
things easy, be a sort of ’happy-go-
lucky’, like I aui .’ Take a nove! some
thing light that won’t tax your brain
throw yourself dowu on a vouch or lu a
hammock aud read aud sleep and dream
as you fuel like; or take a »trull dowu
town aud chat with the ditf'ereut ones
you meet aud look iuto tne show win
dows and, If your couacieuoe will allow
you to do It, you are so precise and
blessed, unfortunately, with such a
great big bump of pity for uufurtuuale
bumauily, y»u cau while away time by
looking al things lu the stores eveu if
you haven't a cent of money iu your
punie; just put in some keys and the
like to make it Jingle and you’ll have
the clerks dancing attendance, pulling
dowu tills article aud that uutil tbe
counter» are piled with lovely things
that you cau ksik over al your leisure,
for remember you’re ouly killing time.
You are a simpleton to kill yourself with
work, woriy aud auxiety, instead of
taking thiugs easy. Why can’t yuu
remember that you have ouly one life
to live, and make up your miud to get
the cream and leave tbe skimmed milk
(or sometxidy else? What Is that old
adage, ‘laugh, dance aud be merry, for
to-morrow we die’ ? That’s just what
I think, and I'm going to get the
brightest and best in life while this
merry old world wags on, aud when
my time comes (and I hope it will lie a
long lime coming) 1’11 answer the sum
mons reluctantly, for this land 1» fair
enough for me. Presto—your time now
to express yourself. Didn’t dare let you
have the floor before, for I know you
cau talk for hours and not let me get iu
a word edge-wise.
I’ve had my say,
uow what have you got to say lu excuse
for this humdrum life you are leading,
never taking Into consideration that
‘all work and no play makes Jack a
dull boy.’ ”
« « « «
have faded iuto tbe dull gray of tbe
night, inat«*ad of facing the rising sun
with a resolute heart and a determina
tion io uu uellei. t here i* tuuc'u that
is noble and lovable in you, but the
trouble Is that you keep your good
qualities in the background. Now is a
good time to make better resolves, so
turn over a new leaf and show your
own true self.” “Dear me, in the many
years of happy summers that have
fallen to my lot I never receive«! a lec
ture like that. You have made me out
in such hideous colors that I am templed
to sing: 'There Is a happy land far, far
away,’ but I will think seriously of
turning over that leaf, as pure as inno-
cence, ami tiegin again,” replied the
young laiiy, laughing good-humoredly.
Did you ever hear tbe expression
"Remember, my dear brethren." saic
the minister, “that charity coveretli r “clerk-worrying”? This, it seems, is a
multitude of sins I hope you’ll lie un common expression used by ladles who
usually generous In your offering thb enter a store with t>o intention of buy
morning ’ -Detroit Free Press.
ing, liut merely to kill time. They will
CHOICE MISCELLANY NEW SHORT STORIES
tANKS O ft AGTS.
Thera 1s a MBereeee Betwee«
■anaatlaa aa« Keewlease.
la-
A great many people uitetake Infur
lustluu fur knowledge. Wliat a max
most uerd» 1» nut that be may I* I*1*
cessed of au accumulation of facta, but
that be uiay know where to kiok for
the facts when he wants them. We nil
know the unpleasant Individual who te
continually seeking Information. You
»how him about your city and he asks:
“How manj miles of »treet railway
have you in your city?” “What 1s th«
price of ice here this summer?' “How
uiauy churches are there b«*re?’ “How
long has that building been standing?"
etc., ad nauseam. You don’t know aud
wonder why be wants to. You know
where you can find out. »nd that it
enough for you.
And then there is that equally die
agreeable person who actually seenu
to be a tank of facta. Ha Use more in
formation than anything else and de
lights in asking you most extraordinary
questions. When you confess your ig-
uorauce, be will look upon you with
pity and exclaim, "What, don’t you
know?’ aud then tell you when you
don’t want to know at all For exam
ple, be is much surprised because you
don’t know how long th« Amazon river
is. He permits you nay, he Insists -
that you should guess, ouly that hs
may the better humiliate you. His
brain Is so incumbtred with facts that
»»as
it is almost useless. Life is too short
for a man to try to constitute himself
To a Flemish artist lielougs tbefcredil
a library of universal knowledge when
of producing what is »aid to tie the the reservoirs ef such knowledge are
smallest paroling lu tbe world. It tea ready to hand when it ia needed.—Man
picture of a miller mounting the stair» chester Union.
of lite mill, and carrying a sack uf grain
ou his back. The mill is depicted as
■peakin* Italics.
standing near a terrace. (’Jose at haud
A piece of parliamentary repartee
are the huree aud cart, with a few quite aa good aa tbe famous retorts in
groups of )<ea»auts idling in tbe road the house of commons aud our con
near by. All this is painted on a smooth gress comes from a New England uni
versity. Two students rsnged against
side of a grain of ordinary white corn.
each other in debate grew very warm
It 1» net^seary to examine it under a and took to commenting on each oth
microscope and it is drawn with perfect er’s oratorical manner. One of them
accuracy. Polly ha- »ecu a one-bauded spoke with much emphasis, letting tbe
man—aud ouly two lingers, the iudex stress of bls voice fall explosively on
aud the middle linger left ou the band certain pa »sages.
His opponent opened his speech by
—lake an ordinary peu aud write the
“ I .ord's Prayer” in tbe space ouly as saying, “My friend on the negative
big as a dime. How be managed it thinks to win this debate by speaking
exclamation marks and italics.”
was a wonder, liut every letter was
The other could do nothing at the
carefully sha«l«*d ami It was beautifully moment to turn tbe laugh which this
written.
speech raised, but when his turn came
be “got baOt” at hl» opponent with
this retort:
BRIEF REVIEW.
“My friend on the affirmative says I
speak Italics. I should »ay that be
Cherries lor Birds.
uses Italics in the way they are used
I have iua«le It a practice In planting iu the English Bible—not to emphasize,
cherry orchards to put in a quantity of but to mark wliat Is not original and
trees of tbe early varieties of sweet Inspired.”—Youth's Companion.
cherries, says a correspondent of the
How Victor H«ao Worked.
Rural New Yorker. These trees are
Victor Hugo always wrote standing
given up entirely to birds. We never
at a high desk especially constructed
pick them ami never allow a bird to be
for him, throwing off sheet after sheet
frightened away from the trees. Tin y as fast as he filled it till he would be
live u|sm these, and by the time our quite snowed up lu leaves of foolscap.
more valuable cherries are ripe we have He often rose In the middle of the
no trouble from the robins. There will night to note down au idea or a verse.
uol be even 2 |>er cent of these cherries He got up for tbe day usually at 8
pickwi or damaged by the birds. If o'clock and would devote from six to
every one would make it a point to pul eight hours per diem to his work. He
made but few corrections, ills poems
in a few extra trees of these early juicy,
being thought out complete in his brsln
sweet cherries, they would have little before he put pen tu paper. It is a well
troutile with their more valuable va known fact that be Indulged in tbe ar
rieties. Rather than kill off the birds, duous task of composition while trav
1 would plant cherries and give them ersing the streets of Paris on the top
tbe entire crop. It Is one of the great of an omnibus. When working out
drawbacks of fruit culture to-day that some great conception, he would spend
we have so few birds inhabiting our or hours in this way.
“What have I got to say In answer to
this tirade'.”' laughed her friend who
hail *>eeli the target of all of her re
marks, “Just this, that I'd rather wear
out than riistoutauy day. Your butter
fly existence wouldn’t suit me at all. 1
may be a hopeless failure at my chosen
work, but I will die trying. 1 know I
have met with failures time and again,
but it is a long lane that has no turning,
and If pendsteut ettbrt will accomplish
what I have set my heart upon, then I
can wait patiently for the tide to turn.
I will own that there have been days
when my heart has lieen tilled with
bitterness when one failure was follow« d
by another. But there is one thiug I
have to lie thankful for, 1 never get so
despondent that the 1'ttle star of hope,
which is always serenely burning in my
heart, will lint presently pierce the
gloom with Its cheerful light aud en-
ooarage me to go on. I can’t afford to
faller, but muit push on, knowing no
such woid as fail
chards, in consequence of which we are
»»»»
forced to carry out the expensive pro
“Your life wouldn’1 suit me at all. It
cess of spraying, without which, com
is entirely Usi frivolous.
You never
paratively little fruit of value could be
read anything that is worth glancing
produced. It is a great mistake on the
a', lu fact it is so Irasliy that It is not
part of fruit-grower» to kdl off Hie birds
wortli while remembering, and it is
and I And it not ouly ecouoiuieal to
iietter so, for such eheap sentimental
plant cherry tret* for them, but that It
stories should go iu one ear and out tbe
brlugB larger numbers to my place, and
other. Now, I am going to return the
they are very helpful in keeping dowu
compliment; why don’t you improve
many insects that are not destroyed by
your time by reading only the tiest of
spraying.
books, something that will lift you out
of your common every-day selfand tend
The Inventor of Champagne.
to give you loftier and higher ambitions
It may be doubted if |>eople have
than parading the streets, Jingling keys
in an empty poeket-btsik, staring in ever n fleeted upon their Indebtedness
show-windows anil annoying clerks to the monastic orders lu the matter of
who have enough without that to try comxM'tiug drinks. Chartreuse liquer
their souls every day? Do you kuow a carries its orlgiu in Its title; so, more or
Ilf« of this kind makes us selfish aud less, does that other litjuer, Benedictine
extremely unthoughtful of others? but of all the thousands who annually
Don’t stop me, you started this sermon, quaff champagne and pronounce it
and rememlier I listened patiently until good, how many could tell that it is the
you got through yours. Why can't you invention of au old Benedictine monk,
scatter seeds of kindness that will blos who 200 years ago, bad tbe idea of
som and bring forth fruit iustead of biendiug all tbe different grapes of the
thorns, briers aud nettles? Yourdeeds Champage district iu order to secure the
can leave a memory as sweet as the highest delicacy and body. The result
fragrance of violets aud as beautiful as was what all the world uow knows as
tbe dainty forget-me-nots, wherein are cbanqiague. Of this benefleieut soul it
mirrored the azure of Heaveu’a own is related that when old and blind he
blue. You can be as true as steel if you mold still distinguish lietween grapes
want to, and beloved by all, aud yet of differeut vineyards by the touch.
you are as tickle as tbe morning mists.
Congreve would prepare a drama for
You are not stable enough for your own
good. The day will come when you will the stage in a week or ten «lays, though
see it all as 1 have pictured it to you, four or flve times this perio<i was given
mirrored in tbe past, and you will re to tbe work of revisiou and rrconstrue-
gret the misspent lays; and you are tlon after the play had lieen to the
one of the natures that will live in the actors.
shadow of regret instead of making the
The biggest meteorite ever seen lias
past a sealed book and turning your
tiest energies towards bettering the been found at I’onto Alegre, in Brazil.
present and future. You will gaze back It is an immense rock mass, eighty-flve
on the setting sun long alter Its glories feet iimg aud fi.ty-flve feet thick.
««««
A Oeati« Blew.
ask fur this article aud that, aud gu
from out <hr|«>tment tu auotber, re
questing Die tired clerks tu cover the
oouuteni with au array of good», which
they will carelessly handle, throw dowu
all tumbled over so that they must all
bedaiutily aud neatly arrang« d agaiu,
a«k numerous oeediess queeHoiis and
walk out, leaving the salesgirte Indig
nant, but helpless to ward off future
altacksuf tbe“time-klllei»”. They mu> t
be obliging aud courteous to customers,
although they are sometime« tired be
yond endurance. If yuu should remon
strate with the “time-killer»”,or,louse
their owu expression, “clerk-worrit ra”,
they would say calmly: “That’s wliat
they are there for, aiu’t it? Its their
business to »how good». Theu what are
they ctMuplaiulug about?” They don’t
stop to think that while the accouMMlat-
ing girl» are wasting time on the “fash-
ionable deadhead»” (they wouldu't be
allowed to waste time ou the partie«
with the slander purse, uor would they
be so inhuman as to expect it), they
are losing cash eualomera; that mean»
a good deal tu one who wishes Io »eud
iu a good ac. ouut at tbe oloae of the
day. “t'lerk-wurriere” is an ugly and
unfeeling expression, «juite a» bad as
“fashionable deadheads” and “time-
klllers”, but they all belong lu the same
catalogue.
A Mrstvrlens Aanaaalaatiaa Plat.
HaS Oh»« Fal4 F«r II.
"One of tbe sealed tragédie», which
ft now seem» will never ba unsealed.
I» the attempted aaeaasluation of Fres-
Idvnt Dias of Mexico." »aid Mr. George
HaixvM-k of tbe City of Mexico. "Tbe
details ot tbe affair were never made
public, but I happened to ha in close
touch with some Inside officiate at tbe
time and got as much of tbe story a»
any oue ever knew. A fellow named
Arrays tried to stab Dias on tbe plaza
lu front of tbe government building
one »fternoou. He did not reach the
president, but wss captured aud in
carcerated. Three days later, while be
was waiting Investigation and trial, be
was bouud to a board aud stabbed to
death, by whom it was never discov
ered.
“About three days after his death
the superintendent of detectives, whoae
name I have forgotten, waa aent for by
President Dlax, who desired to see him
ou something entirely foreign to tbe
attempted aaaaaslnation. Instead of
responding tu the summons be blew out
bis brains. This led to au investiga
tion, aud enough was discovered to sat
isfy Dias Huit Arrays was acting under
instructions from the superintendent of
detectives aud that tbe superintendent
hud had the would be assassin mur
dered to seal bis lips. This was literal
ly all that was ever learned of tbe
trageily, and to this day Diaz doesn't
kuow who was in tbe plot to take bls
life.”—Washington Post.
Edouard de Resske is telling a story
which he seem* to relish mightily, says
the New York Time«, even though tbe
joke te upou himself aud his dlstiu-
gulsbed brother. It was during their
test season In Paris together, lu their
■pertinents at a certain hotel the broth
era often practiced singing together of
mornings. Oue day while thus en
gaged they were annoyed by a loud
hammering ou tbe wall of tbe apart
ment adjoining theirs. Tbluking their
neighbors were hanging pictures, they
tried to sing on.
When tbe racket bad contlnutd with
unabated vigor for about teo minutes,
however, it began to grow uuendura
hie. Tbe brothers paused to eouslder
the quratlon. Theu they notlce«i that
tbe noise bad stopped, lustantly th»y
recommenced their practice, encour
aged to hope for peace, in another
mouieut, however, tbe sound of batu-
meriug agalu broke iu upou tbelr sing
lug. this time ou loudly as to seriously
interfere with good results. After per
severing agaluMt the disturbance for
M>me minutes louger Jean de«<-end«*d to
the office to ask If tbe repair» <*00111
not lie made ut some other time.
As be approached the desk be found
an irate American who lu all the
French he knew wa» astonishing tbe
clerk with a tirade which In English
would have been someth I ng like this:
“It’s an outrage, those fellows liel-
lowlng next to u» all day! If you don't
stop it, we will. We’ve already used
up the »hovel and tbe tongs, and uow
we’re beginning with tbe [Hiker. We'll
have a hole dear through tbe walls
presently."
Tbe tenor, standing by unobserv«*<l,
enjoyed tbe varying expressions which
flitted over the American’s face as the
clerk, having produced the register, re-
veal«*d to him the Identity of bls neigh
bors. When the complainant finally
understood, he made but one remark.
“Ami to thluk.” he said “that I’ve
paid almost any price over In America
Just to U«*ar those fellows slug!”
Then be turned on Ills h«>el and went
quietly up stairs. There was no more
pounding on the wall. The “racket"
had become musical.
Reer»«<lv« “Im>rlaoam«at."
The sentence of two and a quarter
years’ Imprisonment in a fortress
which has been passed on tbe German
officer Lieutenant Thieme, who lately
shot dead a student of Jena iu a duel,
is by no means so severe as it looks.
"Festungs-arrest” in Germany is a
comparatively pleasant affair. Tbe of
fenders have an agreeable barrack
room placed at their disposal, from
which they can emerge st stated hours
and enjoy a pensive walk about tbe
confines of tbe fortress, and they may
have a servant to wait upon them.
There are few officers thus "incarcer
ated” who do not relish the change
from the disciplinary rigor of the bar
rack yard to the delightful promenade
afforded them within the precincts of
such picturesquely situated fortresses
as Konigstein on tbe Elbe, or Ehren
breitstein on the Rhine, where they
are deprived of almost no privileges
save tbe empty one of wearing their
swords. And then, too, In moat cases
about five-sevenths of their nominal
‘•time” is always remitted them, espe
cially in cases of dueling, when they
resume their career in a new garrison.
—Ixuidon Chronicle.
Crlmlaal Jeweler.
In accordance with French custom,
there has Just been a curious sale by
auction in Paris. Tbe objects disposed
of consisted mainly ot jewelry colitis-
rated by tbe authorities from convicted
crlmlnuls and uuclaimed by any person
with a legal title to the pro|>erty. In
proclaiming tbe virtues of the articles
offered to tbe public tbe auctioneer
was able to unctuously dwell on the
circumstances that a particular ring
had encircled tbe finger of au assassin
ou tbe day of the commission of his
crime and that a necklace hud been
habitually worn by au interesting lady
aent to penal servitude. It has been
found that most of these Jewels, being
Imitations merely of precious metals
and stones, would fetch next to noth
ing If sold in tbe ordinary way, but by
A Tough Steak.
appealing to tbe imagination of tbe
“On the other side of the Rio morbid In connection with criminals
Binde,” said a traveler, "meat ia and crime they invariably realize fan
ap, but the best cuts of Mexican cy prlees and add to tbe state ex
f are tougher than rhinoceros hide. chequer.- Loudon Tatler.
When 1 first went to Mexico, I ordered
a teuderloin at a hotel iu Durango, but
Signal For All Nations.
couldn't cut it to save my neck. I told
For Borne time a novel alarm signal
he waiter it wouldn’t do. and he re has been in use on tbe Alps, and so
moved it.
successful has it proved that several
' “Presently, however, he returned, ac- European Journals are now suggest
|companled by tbe proprietor of the
ing that it be made International in
hotel, and laid the platter on the table. stead of merely local.
.’What’s the matter with the steak?
The signal consists of a shout or
¡asked the hotel man in Spanish.
whistle or a gunshot, which must be
I’Tougb,’ said I. ‘Why, I can hardly repeated six times. A traveler who
(Stick a fork into it—much less a knife.’ loses his way on the Alps can also
“Mine host flapped it over with the give tbe alarm by brandishing a light
flat of tbe knife and eyed it dubiously. ed lanteru six times at regular inter
‘I'm sorry.’
said, ‘but it's tbe best in vals. Tbe essential feature of the sig
tbe house. At any rate, I can’t take it nal is that tbe shout or the whistle or
back. It's bent’ ”
tbe gunshot must be repeated six
The Khedive ««I th« Rascal.
Even to the adventurers and down
right swindlers who hung about hie
court at Cairo and afterward pursued
his wanderings Ismail extended a good
natured, half contemptuous patronage.
He liked a rogue far better than a fool.
Once, when he bad formally forbidden
his door to a flagrant offender, the man,
who knew his character, got a ladder
and climbed into tbe viceroy’s room, re
marking, "I have obeyed your highness’
commands and have crossed your
threshold by tbe window and not by
the door.” The humor of the thing at
once appealed to Ismail, and the offend
er was reinstated in his favor—Athe
naeum.
Th« Kadiak Bear.
The largest known living carnivorous
animal is the Kadiak bear. Although
the biggest creature In tbe western
continent, the Kadiak liear has tbe
moat limited habitat of any animal tn
tbe world. The island of Kadiak, just
off the western coast of Alaska, is tbe
only place where it ia found. The lar
gest one killed by a white man meas
The rotation of a waterspout at the
ured fifteen feet in length and was six
surface of the ses has lieen e»tlniat«*d at feet high at tbe shoulders. Standing
MA »iillre an hour, or nearly »lx mile« a ttpon hit Mnd U-gr, this monster wort?
minute.
tower nearly twenty feet in tLe air.—
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Photography has eutered so largely
■•via* Bl» Mate.
Into railroading that it often takes the
On one occasion at a crowded per
place of a manuscript report.
formance at the Royal theater In Syd
Overworked seaiuslrewes in Berlin ney, N. 8. W., a number of years ago
are to tienefl t by a legacy of $25,01)1) left a couple of sailors who had been drink
ing were seated In the gallery. One
by a Herman IxMikseller named Bahn.
lost bls balance and fell Into tbe stalls.
Tbe other Immediately cried, “Man
Bicycles are taxe«i In Vancouver,
overboard!” and dived after bls com
British Columbia, the municipal reve
panion. With the proverbial lack of
nue from that source living X557.
drunken sailors tbe first escaped with
a broken leg and tbe second without ■
The armies ami navies of Europe scratch.
absorb twelve days’ earnings j early of
Where the Sb«« Plaeked.
the entire population.
Valet—Doctor, don’t yoo find that
The House of Ixirds contains 590 master is growing terribly thin?
Doctor-No harm In that, frieml Ho
peers, of whom 32 are Duke«.
was getting too fat He will be much
better In health when be ia thinner.
The chance of two Anger prints lie-
Valet (disappointed)—Very likely, only
Ing alike te not one In eixty-lour billions. I shan’t be able to wear bis etotbes.”
Retarne« Arter Many Day».
Irving Baelieller, the author. »|H>ak-
ing recently of the surprising maimer
in which the faculty of attaching faces
aud names occasionally manifests it
self, recited an Interesting experience
of Ills own.
“1 was going down the street a few
days ago,” be said, “when I came face
times—no more and no less.
Before, however, he goes to the as
sistance of tbe person in need be must
let him know that bis appeal for help
has been beurd. and this he is to do
either by shouting or whistling three
times or by firing three shots.
To Launder Their Trousers.
OI8TRESSING'ASTHMA.
Ta Be <?ar«a Thia blaeaae Mast Ba
Faaaht la Kaely Staves.
Iu popular usage asthma Is a term
employed to describe a well kiionn
coudltion. yet It Is slgiilflciiui ut the
broadened knowledge of illseasia ku
general that, aa a dlstluet disease, the
name la applied In a more and more
restricted sense by physicians.
For example, tbe asthma of which
Dr. Johuaou complains In Ills later
years, as recordiMi by Boswell, Is so
clearly set forth by tbe faitbrul blog
rapher that the miMiern physician Is
eveu now able to determine that an
affection of the heart was responsible
for It
Asthma te often a family affection
and Is frequently traceable to parents,
grandparents or great grandparents.
Most sufferers are of an excitable, emo
tional or nervous temperament.
It
bears a rather striking analogy to epi
lepsy In thr.t Its attacks are charaeter-
iz<il by suddenness anil influenced by
strong emotions, like fear or grief, and
not Infrequently occur at night, when
the sufferer may be plunged from d«*ep
sleep Into an attack. In both diseases
excitement during tbe day Is often fol-
lowed by attacks.
Ptiysiciaus believe, however, that a
high strung organization alone Is not
sufficient to develop the disorder, but
that some otlwr source of Irritation
must he added—that Is, some faulty
state of tlie system elsewhere, like dis
ease of the digestive tract, harmful
factors circulating In tlie blood, obsta
cles to free breathing lu tlie nose and
others.
Whatever may be the source they
must lie dealt with energetically and at
an early stage, since long standing
cases of asthma Invariably develop
changes In the lungs and lieart which
are permanent. The disease can then
be dealt with only by measures aimed
at palliating and cuttlug short the sep
arate attacks and with no reasonable
boi>e of an actual, permanent cure.
For tbe young sufferer and for those
In the early attacks of asthma tlie
writer would emphasize the necessity
of a thorough search for and the re
moval of any aud every error In hy
gienic living In order to avoid the suf
fering of the chronic asthmatic and the
further dlseoses which it brings In Its
train.—Youth's Companion.
COMPLETED ^ROVERBS.
“I-abor overcometh all things,” even
the laborer.
“Only that which is honestly got Is
gain;’’ the rest Is velvet
“Ignorance is tbe mother of Impu
dence;*’ no father is named.
“Let a child have its will, and it will
not cry," but its parents will.
“Pity is aklu to love," blit kinship
does not always siguify friendship.
“Wlmte'er is tiest administere«l is
best” for the one who administers.
“Employment
brings enjoyment”
when it brings the means to enjoy.
“Possession is nine points of tlie
law” and frequently all the profits.
“A man who will not flee will make
his foes flee,” but what if bis fo«*s be
made of tbe same metal?
"Every man for himself, and the dev
il take tbe hindmost,” is the cry of
those who are well in front
“A wise man Is move«! from bls
course neither by force uor entreaty,”
but the same often applies to a mule.
“It is hard to pay for bread that has
been eaten,” but not so hard as to get
bread to eat that has not b«>en paid
for.
“In matters of taste there can be no
dispute,” for every man is so firmly
convinced that there is no standard by
which bls taste can be measured.—L.
de V. Mattbewmau iu Era.
A TaruBolss PaealiarKy.
“I HANUX1» HIM A 11OAB."
to face with a gentleman who showed
no sign of recognising me.
“‘Good morning, Mr. Murray,’ 1 said,
stopping him.
You dou't seem to re
memlier me.'
“ ’No,’ he replied, ‘J don't recall ever
having s«*en you liefore.’
“ 'Well, I will tell you where we saw
each other. It was one morning nine
teen years ago lu Middlebury, Vt.. at
the little hotel where, having become
stranded on my way down from the
north, 1 had taken a Job to tend the
billiard room. I rememlier you were
so good as to give me a cigar on that
occasion, and I now take great pleas
ure In returning the compliment.’ And
therewith I banded him a cigar.”—New
York Times.
Kl>lla* In Twnly-«eeo«i Ceatary.
About one woman in three cannot
wear turquoises without turning them
green. Some turquoises will turn green
after being worn by any woman. Jew
elers of the first class guarantee to re
place turquoises If they turn green,
and the annual cost of the replace
ments is stupendous. One Jewel bouse
has tried the experiment of having all
its employees go around with dozens
of turquoises strapped next to their
skin to try to detect the green ones,
but even when they have passtid this
test some of them will be brought back
by customers, having turned a hideous
green. No reason is known for tbe
changing of color.
Moodr aad the Qaeatloaable Book.
Some one asked the late Dwight L.
Moody If be bad read a certain book.
He replied: “No; I believe there la
poison In It At least 1 have heard so
on good authority.” The friend said,
"Blit wouldn't it be well for you to
read It for yourself?” "No,” said Mr.
Moody. “If I take poison In my stum
ach. the doctor has to come with a
stomach pump to take It out. Why
should I take poison in my mind? I
might never be able to get it out.”—
Margaret Bottome In Ijxllra’ Home
Journal.
Since Mr. Kipling's now famous at
tack on “the tlHimeltnl fools at the
wickets and muddled oafs at tlie
goals” be has lieeu answered In a
score of ways, but In none more ef
fectively than in tbe following adver
tisement, which appeared without any
accompanying comment In the London
Spectator recently:
“For Sale.—‘I Am tbe Empire,’ by
Rudyard Kipling, poet laureate of the
Anglo-Saxon empire from 1904 to 1984.
On Proper Vaccination.
He was author of 113 volumes of pam
It should lie made clear that proper
phlets, treatises on military tactics,
vaccination Is the only known method
street car advertisements and doggerel
of sp«-elflc value In conferring Immuni
snd is mentioned by contemporary
ty from smallpox. Tlie comparatively
writers as having written tales of ad
Short duration of this Immunity shoukl
venture. most of which were destroy
lie lnsls«rd upon, and a simple, Intel-
ed in tbe Irish invasion of 1947. Two
It«»u>lu* Las Angele».
ilgtblc -description ut liai ordinary
"If Ix>s Angeles k«q*pa up Its present copies of the 'Jungle Book’ remain and course of a proper vaccination should
lick, in lees than two <i«*en<i<*n it will are <o lie found tn the Toosevi-it Me lie add«q1. It would be extremely use
have gone ahead of San Francisco In nagerie library. In New York. Uncut. ful, lu view of tbe wide diffusion of
population,” says a resident of that Price, $14.13.”
■Btlvacclnatlon literature, to make the
cit>. “TUe baildlLg puolU 00V ag
frank aiimisslon that in the days of
Weald«', Toaek a Masterpiece.
gregate a weekly construction of $300,-
arm to arm vaccination accidental In
George
Ade,
who
recently
submitted
000, and there isn’t enough building
oculation with other diseases, although
material or men to carry on the work. tbe libretto of a comic opera to th« extremely unlikely, was theoretically
The completion of an interoceanic ca Castle Square company, was requested poHsIble, but that the modern method
bal will make our town tbe metropolis by the manager to make a certain
of glycerinated calf lymph has now de
of tbe coast. We will theu be able to change. Ade drew hack haughtily aud
stroyed even tbe remote itosslblllty of
•sked:
get our fruits through to New York
such intrinsic danger. — Saturday Re
“
Who
am
I
that
I
should
tamper
In fourteen days instead of twenty
view.
with a masterpiece?’
eight, as at present"
The white trousers of the West Point
ers are giving the authorities of the
Military academy a good deal of trou
ble. It is found that it will be neces
sary to make some special provision
for tbe means to keep such garments
in the best condition. It is proposed
to spend, as soon as congress will ap
propriate tbe money, about a thousami
■oilers In the purchase of laundry ma
chlnery, includiug two ironers, one
starch separator and one starch tum
bling machine. Tbe use of this ma
chinery will save time and labor In
the Ironing of the 2,000 pairs of white
trousers which must lie done each
week.
Aa Buer*«tle R««»rt.
Mlsht Bar« Prevented It.
"My tastes,” said tbe extravagant
Son, “are inherited.”
"Yes,” retorted the angry father; “ev
erything you have la Inherited. You
haven’t gumption enough to acquire
even a taste by Individual effort.”—
Chicago Poet
Little Walter was eating lunch when
be gave his arm a suddeu above, and
splash! down went the glass of milk.
“1 knew yon were going to spill that,*'
said mamma angrily.
“Well, If you knew." queried Walter,
“why didn't you tell me?’ —Little
^Chronicle.
i
**H«*e
SBrlaaa
Esteem« L'raelty.
Employer—Mr. Slack, would you like
to bave an Increase In salary?
Employee- Would I? I should say I
would!
Employer—Well, let me tell you, then,
that unices you get down here earlier
and work ■ great deal barder you'll
never get It in this world.—Chicago
News.
Bteraal."
I Many a man who thought yesterday
In order to be In perfect health one
Bls Fall.
that all was lost has a more hopeful must be temperate In eat lug. Tbe
Customer—! understand that your
view of Ufa thia mornlog. The world meals should be regular. Regularity la chef has been discharged.
will ba normal by tomorrow.-St. Punl one of tbe golden rules of a well order
Walter—Yea, sir. He has gone to •
ed Ufa—Ladles' Home Journal
Globa t
place where they call him • cook.