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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 9, 1902)
BANDON RKCORDER. | POLLY LARKIN. | The Eualieh Navy. In the earliest times of the British navy there was practically uo distinc tion betweeu the merchantman and the man-of-war. In the rare times of peace men-of-war truded as merchantmen, while merchantmen always went arm ed. Thus in tll'ie of war the trader be came the warship and vice versa. From the time of the conquest and probably earlier down to the days of Elizabeth this was the ordinary prac tice. Elizabeth hired out ships of the navy for all sorts of purposes, from piracy to slave trading, taking her share of the protits when the venture was successful and disclaiming all re sponsibility when it wasn't. Henry III., who may be described as the originator of the navy as a special lighting force, hired out the ships spe cially built for the navy in times of peace and even allowed them to l»e taken away from their appointed sta lions provided that the hirers deposited due security for the return of tbe ships with their tackle and all equipment in a proper state of efficiency. The prac tice ceased after the repulse of the Spanish armada, when the lighting ship, as such, became distinct from the trader. I.ondon < ¡lobe. Meanings ot the Word ••Stove.” The word “stove,” as applied to a heater for a room, seems to be of about the same age as tbe article to which the name is now applied, for while the word as a name luid an existence in early English It was used In a different sense. Both Lord Bacon and Woodward usisl It as referring to a house or room artificially warmed and particularly a hothouse for plants. Bacon also used the word as a verb In the way of keep ing warm In a house or room, as “to stove orange trees and myrtles,” to quote from his writings. Pepys used the verb in a nautical sense, as heating for the purpose of making pliable, ns “stove bolt ropes.” But all these definitions arc obsolete now, such disuse dating from the time when Dr. Franklin made Ills discover les and applications. The French word "etuve,” It may be added, describes a hothouse or bathing room, and hence Is parallel In meaning with the early Eng llsb word. Isn't it a pity that company man ners are so often forgotten in the home- lite? Why is it that those nearest and dearest to tis must see the ugly aud un desirable side and hear the unkind re marks and sarcastic wolds that cut deeper than so many blows? Why do we pave the way for regrets in the fu ture when we would give anything to recall them when it is too late? Hardly ailay passes when we are not guilty of some hasty action or unkiud word. We plead guilty to the charge and iu excuse say, “We were tired and worn out,” or “we were vexed at some trivial att'air and forgot ourselves for the mo ment,” and yet we make that no ex cuse for the little folks when they are guilty of the same offense. We are in consistent; we lay down tbe law for the children and punish them for not ol*y- mg it w hen they are but following in our fisitsteps. We set them a bad ex ample and then say, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Polly hates the bickerings and fault-tliiiling In the home-life and the petty evils that could be so well avoided and which are only conspicu ous for their alisence when guests are present 111 the household to take notes. There should be such perfect harmony that the company manners, which seem so strained when put on for the occasion, would lie so natural as to be a part of the perfect, peaceful and happy home. » » » » of child-life has not tieen entiiely warped out of her childish nature and whether she will have the strong will as site grows older to assert herself and grasp some of the traits that make the sweetness of the home-life aud cultivate a cheerful, happy disposition instead of thefault-tindingand bickerings she baa been accustomed to ever since she could stand alone. How easy it is to make or mar the dis|sMitiou of tlie little folks aud how prone we are to forget tliat they are walking in our steps. « « « « In South Australia there exists a language test for intending immigrants and unless a man can sjieak or write the English language lie is not allowed to laud. That is exactly the kind of law we want in this country, and when that method is adopted there will l>e fewer paupers and criminals from for eign countries swarming to our shores. 1 heard an Englishman say the other day with a sarcastic laugh, "You Americans make me tired, you are so blind to your own interests. You throw open your gates and say, ‘Collie in; come one anil all. This is a free coun try, the laud of liberty; come in and welcome to a home in our midst. The foreign countries, mine, for instance, rather than till our jails with criminals pardon them on condition that they leave the country. We do more than this, we pay their passage; and where do they liie themselves to? To no other place than the United States,‘the home of tile brave and Hie land of the free,’ as I have beard you all so proudly quote. I tell you the United Slates is tlie Mecca for foreign criminals. Your political parties are so grasping anil so anxious for votes tliat they are ready with a cordial greeting, and the tirst thing you know our criminals are vot ing and ere long dictating to you what you must do to hold their votes. I tell you it is downright stupidity on the part of tlie American people.” There is more truth than poetry in tlie fore going. iihih CHOICE MISCELLANY Story ot aa Anar Mole. There I* or was an army mule a pen sioner of the United Statea--tradition says that army mule* are mortal, hence the doubt aa to tense. But this mule. Mexlque, was ordered to be sold at Mount Vernon barracks, Alabama, in 1883. He had been at tbe post a long time and had grown gray In tbe serv ice, having an honorable record In the Mexican war, and the officers at Mount Vernon asked the quartermas ter general to retain him till the end of bls days. This application, signed by William A. Kobbe, then an artil lery lieutenant, and Indorsed by a dozen proper military authorities. In cluding General Hancock aud Gener al Sherman. Is on record at Washing ton. How the white mule's record grew In honor with successive Indorse ment may lie seen from the command lug general's letter: I have seen that mule, and. whether true or false, the soldiers believe It was left at the Big spring, where Mount Ver non barracks now are, at the time Gen eral Jackson * army camped there, about 1819-20. Tradition says It was once a «or- rel, but now It la white from age. The quartermaster’s department will be chargeable with Ingratitude If that mule Is sold or the care and maintenance of It thrown on the charitable officers of the post. I advise that it be kept In the de partment, fed and maintained till death. W. T. SHERMAN. P. 8.—I think that mule was at Fort Morgan, Mobile point, when I was there In 18«. W. T. 8. The secretary of war finally direct ed “that this mule be kept and well cared for at public exiiense us long as he lives. ' Largest St-orlag Board In the World. This great scoreboard, the largest in the world, is on the cricket grounds in Sydney. Australia, which will hold without elbow touching 49.000 specta tors and upon which up to tbe present time *730,000 has been expended. When the grounds are packed with visitors, anil they usually are, 38,000 being the average number that usually gather when a good cricket game is scheduled in Sydney, the figures on the great board can be easily read by ev ery spectator that skirts the huge circle where tbe game is played. Tlie board is something like 25 feet in height anif over 70 in length. Tlie numbers are huge. They are painted on thick calico and worked on rollers. The names are also on calico, fitted on frames and let into openings sized to hold them. It takes three men to operate tills largest scoring hoard in the world, but so perfect is its con struction it takes but two minutes to change its entire score. E*p*n*lv* Coartsblp Recently a young Frenchman of good family, but very poor, fell tn love with a banker’s daughter, and. obtaining a letter of Introduction to her father, called on him. He found him at home, and a pleasant conversation followed. As he tsJked, however, the young man fumbled with a gold coin, the only money be possessed, and when he rose to take leuve he removed it from bis waistcoat pocket aud put it, without thinking, into liis trousers pocket. As he was strolling home he looked for the coin, but, alas, it was not to be found, for there was a small hole in his trouser* pocket, anil aH soon as he had put it In it fell noiselessly on the velvet carpet In Hie banker’s drawing room. As he sorely needed the money the young man, though much against bis will, resolved to go back and inquire about it. “Yes,” said the banker as he entered; “1 found a gold coin on the carpet as soon as you left the room, and I was not surprised, for I lost a similar coin In tliat very place two days ago. This, therefore, is my money, anil we will now look for yours.” The banker smiled as he spoke, but the penniless young man turned bls back on him and abruptly left the house. The Gleaner*. The old custom of gleaning In the harvest fields, which recalls the Bib lical story of Ruth and Naomi, is not obsolete in England, and in Hertford shire, Bedfordshire and tlie neighbor ing counties, as soon as the wheat is gathered in the late days of August, there may be seen in the newly cleared llelils numbers of women and children diligently picking up one by one the scattered ears and forming them into neat little sheaves which they carry iu their hands until large enough to be bound up. When the daylight falls, all the booty Is bound up in cloths and carried home on tlie heads of the gleaners. At home they thrash It out by hand and sell the grain or use it for their chickens. Tlie gathering of a half peck is usually a full day’s work for a child, and often a woman spends a whole day In gathering very little more. Gleaning, however, is looked upon somewhat in the light of a picnic. The mother and children leave home In the morning, take with them food for the day and stay out iu tlie fields until nightfall. Theolher day a little boy, who rushed into the back door of hie home on his return fromshcool, tiptoed out again and said, “You fellows had better keep quiet. There's company in tlie house, I guess, for pa’s got on his I test company manners; lie’s talking so easy and pleasant you’d Hunk he was made of honey. He can't stand it long after the company goes, and eomebody’ill BRIEF REVIEW. get their heads nearly taken oil', you’ll see. He’ll talk loud enough then to be Piano With a History. heard dow n to tlie corner. Wish there A presentation of more than ordinary was company iiere all the time, for lie interest was made in New Orleans re makes a fellow nervous and his head Pick pocket« and Plnm. Artful as the ways of the “Heathen ache, too, lie’s so cross and snappish. cently, and thereby hangs astory. Just Heforni* anil Human Nature. Chinee" are tbe dodges of the expert You’d never know pa was the same after the fall of Vicksburg, when Gen Occasionally events crystallize so picker of pockets. The other night a man when company was’round, would eral Sherman’s army was marching on that the reformer can come Into power young lady who had been to the then you?” “No,” said his brother, “but if Jackson, General Joseph E. Johnson through an extraordinary revulsion of ter was getting on to a tram car, and, pa only knows it, Jim Jones’ father made a determined stand iu thesuburlis tlie people against their masters, but knowing the possibilities opened up to this revulsion has to be produced by of Jackson, Miss. The famous Wash the light fingered gentry by a crowd, could teach him manners all ’round. ington Artillery of New Orleans con events rather than words. says the she kept her hand In her pocket and He’d make pa feel as slim as a hairpin stituted a portion of his forces, and they Political Science Quarterly, A few Will Solve a Problem. grusped her purse firmly. Suddenly first round. He don’t yell, ‘sit up to men of the dominant party sent to A company lias been organized In she felt a sharp prick as from a pin on the table there,’ if a fellow happens to were stationed at what was known as London which Is expected to solve once prison will do more to cause a revul- her hand and, acting on the Impulse, sit back a little, and lie doesn’t screech, the ('isiper residence, two miles west of and for all the eating problem as it sion of feeling than all tlie arguments let go her hold of the purse and 'how much more do you want?’ if you town. It was known that every tiling faces the bachelor and the servantless or newspaper exposes in the world. snatched her hand out. almost ns quick happen to pass your plate back, or, ‘eat in the Cooper house would be ruined if household. This company guarantees The reformer may then get his innings, ly returning it, but she was too late. all on your plate before you ask for not burned, therefore the piano, a to send a hot meal anywhere, at any and If he makes some effort to under Iu the few seconds that had elapsed handsome instrument for those days, time, at a moderate cost, the dinner to stand the human nature that pervades another band had been there, and the more of anything else.’ Goodness, the was picked up by the soldiers ami car be as good as can be got In any of the the greatest part of the city population way pa acts just takes a fellow ’ s appe purse was gone. ried within their breastworks. One of first class restaurants. Not only is the he may remain longer than a brief sea tite. If I wanted it before I don’t want dinner sent, but with It goes a complete son, but tbe odds are against it for a anything after lie gets through talk the members of tbe artillery company, table service- silver, glass and mipery. long time still to come, for the reformer Mollifying. in a spirit of reckless fun, sat dowu to “I am afraid, Bobby,” said his moth ing. Guess he wouldn’t eat much, The idea in Itself Is not particularly is as yet constitutionally unable to fol er, “that when I tell your father what either, if every time lie wanted any tlie piano and played a lively air while new, but the price for which it is done low up the detail necessary for political a naughty boy you've been he will pun thing somebody yelled at him like they the shot and shells were whizzing all is surprisingly small. A dinner for popularity ami success. He relies on ish you severely.” were mad as lilaz s because lie asked for alsiut him. When the enemy came one, comprising soup, entree, roast and ideas, not on men. He does not realize "Have you got to tell him?” nsked it. Jim Jones’ father treats them like close he grablied up his gun and got in sweet, is sent out for 2 shillings. Break that the majority of citizens still live Bobby earnestly. the tiring line, where lie remained until fast costs n shilling anil lunch a shil in a world of personalities, not of prin “Oh, yes; I shall tell him immediate they were company, and they are lots the Federal« were repulsed, leaving sev ling anil sixpence. The company un ciples. better behaved than we are. Do you ly after'dinner.” eral hundred dead oil tlie field, when dertakes to supply all the meals of a Bed. Blue and Orange Hailstone*. The look of concern on Bobby's face know, tlie way pa acts makes you feel household at a guinea per week for Humboldt, an authority on atmos mean and ugly toward everybody. the daring young Louisianian resumed each one. It has a central kitchen, deepened. the music. It is that battle-scarred old where the food is prepared, and spe pheric phenomena never disputed, told "Well, mother,” said he, "give him a Sometimes I hate him.” pinao that was presented to the Wash cially constructed baskets, so arranged of a heavy hailstorm which passed better dinner than usual. You might » • » » ington Artillery. At- the time of the that the hot dishes will stay hot anil over Tuscany on March 14. 1813, every do that much for me.”—Pittsburg Dis Not an enviable pen picture of that battle it was the property of Miss Coop the cold dishes cold. ice globule of tlie entire fall being of patch. a beautiful orange color. Five years father, yet every word was true. He er, who afterward,as Mrs W. W. Scott, A Short Cut to Sleep. prior to this extraordinary event Car- doesn’t know liow to treat his children. became the mother of Mrs. A. Q. May, Where Newspaper* Are Scarce. “Doctor,” said lie, “I'm a victim of He seems to forget that they are human In Paraguay there I h a little com niola, Germany, was treated to a fall the donor. The presentation s|>eech Insomnia. I can't sleep if there's the beings, and speaks to and orders them of five feet of blood red snow, fol was made by A. Q. May, her husliand, munistic colony known as the Cosmo lowed by a slight fall of blue hall, least noise, such as a cat on the gar colony, which was founded several around as if they were a lot of dumb who is one of the Mississippi Railroad den wall, for Instance.” years ago by an enthusiastic band of which is said to have given “the whole “This powder will be effective,” re animals that obeyed through fear. Jim Commissioners. Australian socialists. After many face of the earth an exceedingly cu Jones ’ father treated his children like plied the physician, after componnd hardships and privations tlie colony is rious aspect.” Red hailstones fell at they were company. In other words South African Gold Deposits. ing a prescription. now in sucli a flourishing condition Amsterdam in 1726. at London in 1663 lie considered his boys gentlemen and "When do I take it, doctor?” It is estimated tliat for every mile in as to boast a newspaper of Its own (during the time of the great plague), “You don't take it. (Jive it to the his daughters little ladies. They ft ere length along the course of the reefs, called the Cosmo Monthly. The man aud at divers places in Ireland and cat In a little milk.”—Family Doctor. brought up urn er letining Intluences down to a vertical depth of KMJO feet for ner in which news is dispensed to the France in the early part of tlie past and tanglit that the loud and boister the dip of these reefs, gold to the value colonists is interesting. A horn is century. Fnttina Him Off. ous way of speaking was coarse anil un blown, generally twice, with half au Stndlo Secret. He proposed on his way home from refined and not to lie tolerated ill their of £10,000,000 will be extracted. This is hour’s gathering time between. Tbe a conservative estimate at least as ap "Sometimes," sighed the weary papa church one Sunday evening. She was home circle. Consequently they could plied to the central section of the Hand. colonists assemble and the reader for as lie tried In vain to quiet Hie tur too young to marry and did not want lie excused for their want of tact when If we assume these conditions to attain the occasion gives out bis news, which bulent infant, “I wish I was a pho him, but she said “Yes,” with the stip they commiserated with their less for to a depth of 6000 feet vertically, we consists of Interesting Items selected tographer.” ulation that lie should get her father's from the latest weekly papers and dis "And why?” nonchalantly asked consent. Tlie young man was happy tunate little neighbors in having so ob have the enormous sum of £60,000,000 patches from the Asuucion dally pa until he discovered the next day that jectionable and unlovable a father. Tlie for each mile in length. It is not un per, which tbe colonists receive twice mamma, as she turned to another chap ter. his adored one's father had been dead toys did not resent the uncomplimen reasonable to suppose that these con a week. “Because a photographer seems to several years. tary remarks either, but acknowledged ditions will tie maintained along most be the only man in tbe world who can the truth and sighed deeply to think of the central section, say for a distance A Rush to Soath Africa. make a baby look pleasant when it Bryonil III« Limit. A rush of emigrants from Australia doesn't wish to.”—Photographic Times. their father was not as kind and as of ten miles, in which case we would Husband (examining railway ticket) to South Africa has set In and Is wor —Why, according to the announcement thoughtful in his home-life as he might have ati auriferous area, within practi rying tbe authorities of the common Stupidity- and the None. on this excursion ticket It's only guild lie. “’Tisn’t ’cause he don’t know cable mining depths, containing up wealth of the southern seas. The Mel how,” said one of the little sons, “for ward of £600,000,000 value in gold. Children with accidental affections for ten days. bourne papers strongly deprecate tlie of the uostrlls which grow chronic be Wife -Well, why complain of that. you just ought to see him when we’ve exodus, declaring tliat the emigrants come stupid. An 111 working mucous It’s a good deal more of a guarantee got company. He’s a regular dude British Kings and the Beard. are largely those whom Australia can In that line than you can give. Rich then, and no one can act lietter or lie On lookingat the (sirtraitsof tlie Eng least afford to lose laborers, artisans, membrane Is enough to make a child mond Dispatch. more [lerlite than pa. Trouble is lie lish Kings from William the Conqueror farm bands, etc. Applicants for per n dunce. It may be that snuff be came the rage in Europe toward tlie can’t stand it long at a time though, to Edward VI1 one is struck by the fact mits to emigrate have to prove them end of the seventeenth century be Economical. selves possessed of a minimum of *100. cause it and lie takes it out on the rtst of us for that no monarch since Charles I has stimulated this member In tlie Whyte—Browne is very economical. The requirement, together with the having to la* so proper. It don’t agree worn a beard until now. In the more noses of august and illustrious persons. Isn’t he? homely and solid presentment of King expense of the voyage, Is an obstacle Black—Browne? Well. I'll tell you. with him.” to the poor In purse, but adventurous in » »» • Edward there is not to lie found that spirit, who usually flock to gold coun A Stupid Fellow. Browne is the aort of man who when he wants an awl and hasn't any in Flaherty—He’s not smart at all, at Children are great mimics, anil they mingling of knightly romance and the tries. The result Is that ships from stead of buying one will go to work are apt to copy faithfully the actions of plaintive melancholy which kindles the Australia are suffering from a plague all, Is he? to make one by straightening out a those whom they are thrown in con passionate devotion of some and the of stowaways. New York Tribune. Flanigan—Smart? Faith, he’s that dumb ye could talk belmlnd Ills back corkscrew. tact with in every day life. Watch a compassion of all, as seen in Vandyck’s roight before his face, an' he'd not little girl with her doll and note her liktiess of the ill-fated Stuart; but Novel Life Saving Apparatus. The TIoNlon Boy. know it.—Philadelphia Record. If all that is claimed for the new life “Lookin’ fer a bird's nest, sonny?” actions carefully. Possibly she will neither is there that indeterm n ite look asked the good natured westerner of a sing a little lullaby or she will talk or theteni|sirizer, tliat lnntof the final saving apparatus constructed by a (Il Part* of Speech. seven-year-old boy whom lie met In soothingly to it as she binds up some insincerity which made Htattbrd cry out lieva citizen be true, we may expect Teacher—Thomas, what are the parts that in the near future no wrecks, Boston Common. imaginary wound or nurses it through at his betrayal. "Put not your trust in however disastrous, will have a fata of speech? “No, sir,” replied the intellectual a severe spell of sickness. Perchance princes.” Tommy Tucker (after an exhaustive Issue. The novel apparatus Is con prodigy ns lie continued to gaze up she will gently chide it for being a structed after the manner of a diving mental effort)—It's the way a man Into the tree. “I am merely endeavor The Nile mud, which renders Egypt suit, of which the legs are weighted. talks when he stutters.—Exchange. naughty child and grieve over its diso- ing to correctly classify this tree as a a habitable country, is said to Isar a It Is rendered so buoyant with air ohedlence. She is but Imitating her botanical product.” — Columbus State KclipNed. mother and the way she has chosen in striking resemblance to that which is chambers that half the body remains Journal. Hewitt—What became of the girl bringing her wee daughter up. In brought down every season by tlie Mis aliove water, and outside pockets are provided to bold a lamp, matches, food, that you used to say was the light of Where Iler Hopes Centered. s riking contrast will lie another little souri. n trumpet and a weapon to ward off your life? “I have a surprise in store for you, child, who shows her displeasure by Jewett—Another fellow came be- One thousand and forty million gal the attacks of large flab. -Pall Mall dear,” be said, seating himself at the nearly shaking her doll to pieces, box tween me and the light. lons of lieer brewed in the United King Gazette. supper table. ing its ears and scolding it unmerci For Ollier* to Enjoy. “Well, darling. I hope it's n millinery dom equals the total amount brewed by fully. It is merely another type of the store,” she responded quickly.—Chica Brown—You should do something to The Flag at Hair Mast. America, France and Austria. mother, anil the little one isonly carry go News. The custom of showing the flag at contribute to other people's enjoyment. ing out her idea of mother-life as she Jones—I do. I'm always making a The natives of Guam are intensely half mast originated from the way •i t knows it. “You naughty child,” says musical. Scarcely a house is without sea of showing the pre-eminence one . . .1 of rayself.—New York Press. Very Polite. “Here's an account of a man," said the little girl, “I’ve a good mind to some musical instrument, the well-to-do ship had over the other In time of war Mrs. Gadsby, "who hasn't spoken a whip the life out of you. You’re such having pianos. fare. The vanquished always bad to Turnip seeds have been known to be word to ills wife In three years.” lower Its flag, while the victor's would dormant for seven years through lie- an awful care and wear the soul out of "That's rather n rigid adherence to me. I wish I had never seen you.” There are in this country alsiut 200,- be raised as high as |*ossible In exul Ing planted too deep and after that one of the roles of politeness," said Is she making it up? Hardly. It is tation. To lower n flag Is an act of time to sprout. mio miles of railway, or alsiut 40 per submission or betokens refqiect to a su Gadsby. only the repetition of her own home cent of the world's mileage. "Bules of politeness!” said Mrs. And They Are Obeyed. perior or la a signal of distress. The life. You know that she is only Imi Gadsby in a scornful ton». hoisting of a flag half mast high came "What are unwritten laws, pa?” England's Imports of meat for 1902 to to be used, therefore, as a sign of “Yes; never interrupt a lady when tating her mother’s treatment towaid “Your mother's, my son; she always herself, and you wonder if all the sweet- date have decreased 6 per cent. she is talking.” mourning and respect. speaks them.”—New York Press. HUMOR OF THE HOUR I FACTS IN FEW LINES Daudelioua purify tbe blood and tone up tbe system. Magazine rifles will be issued shortly to tbe Moorish army. French submarines will iu future be manned by volunteers only. The wife of the governor of New Borneo bus a baby rhinoceros for a pet. There are but nine subscribers to tbe postoffice telephone ill Swansea. Wales. The Russian consul at Salonika has suddenly resigned his appointment to enter a monastery. Beetles iu tbe East aud West Indies are so brilliant lu coloring that they are beautiful us gems. The volume of the world's commerce is two and a half or three times as great as it was thirty years ago. Antwerp town council lias opehPiL a labor exchange to assist workmen an<K_ servants of both sexes to obtain em ploymeut. Efforts are being made to establish Why She Detested It. a university at Jerusalem for the Jew “Again." complains the devoted wife, ish students ex|>elled from European “I am told that you have been flirting universities. with that odious Miss Mashem on tbe After thrashing a cor|«»ral who had piazza.” ill treated them eight German cavalry “Bah!” retorts the gay husband, men have deserted to France and en thinking to rlducule the suspicions of listed in the foreign legion. bis wife. “Bab!” he repeats. Its neck broken by a passing train, “It Isn't bo bad,” asserts the wife, “for a man to be guilty, but what I de a tine dog otter weighing twenty-one test is when he acts so sheepish alsiut pounds was picked up recently at Gal- gate, near Leicester, England. it.”—Baltimore American. Within the last fifty years 164.589 persons have emigrated from County t'nnece**arlly Creel. “And did you have your maid Incar Mayo, Ireland—nearly as many as in cerated for stealing your Jewels?" habit the county at the present time. asked Mrs. Oldeastle. W. J. ltyan, a blind man in Milwau- “Oh. my, no! Josiah was reading to kee, bus Invented a writing frame me the other night about the way a with wire Hues to enable blind per- man's body was incarcerated at one of sons to write with evenness aud sym them crematory places because he metry. made them promise to do It before be Of ninety-three emperors who gov died, but I'd never think of treating a erned the whole or a large part of the person that way for just stealing.”— Roman empire sixty-two were mur Chicago Record Herald. dered or died under susplctous circuía stances. Thouabtful of the Children. Orders for some 10.000 tons of ar- "I suppose,” said Mr. Olds, “if I were fo start smoking again it would set tlie mor plate for the new war vessels King Edward V1L, Commonwealth and Do children a bad example.” “It would, Indeed.” replied his wife. minion have been shared by three Shef "It’s thoughtful and unselfish of you field firms. Finding a nine leaved shamrock, a to consider that.” "Yes; so I've decided to send the chil farm laborer at Groningen, Holland, dren right off to boarding school, where sent It to Queen Wilhelmina, who ac they won't see me.” — Philadelphia cepted tlie gift and rewarded the donor with £2 is. 8d. Press. President Roosevelt has appointed a Fashion Note. man to look after the remnant of buf faloes now remaining in this country and to prevent that animal from be- coming extinct. Pineapples grow so plentifully in Natal at certain seasons that It is not worth while carting them to murket, and they are often given to the p!gs In consequence. Inspectors of the Bristol (Englund) factory district have figured out that more than 5,000 miles of mudline made cigarettes are turned out weekly from the districts aforesaid. Probably the smallest village In the United Kingdom is Bagley Wood, about three aud a half miles from Abingdon. The latest thing In stripes. It was formerly the abode of a hermit and has only four Inhabitants now. Thl* I* an Old One. Mufklns—Supposing a fellow Jonathan Hutchinson's allegation going to choose a wife, colonel, years ago that the prolonged use of would you advise him to go about it? arsenic gave rise to callosities on the The Colonel—I should advise him to palms and soles which in certain cases select a little one.” turned to cancer are said to have been Mufklns—What for? confirmed. The Colonel—Because when it Is a Betting on tbe results of the recent question of a choice of evils It is best municipal elections at Rome was per to choose the leaBt.—Philadelphia Bui mitted by the government. The wager let In. ing was conducted on the parimutuel system, and tbe profits were devoted B ub * Claaslfled. “And to what insect family," said to charitable purposes. The authorities in Cape Colony Lave Phunny I’bool, tbe student, “would you assign tbe ticks that Infest clocks, made an enactment forbidding the practice of medicine to all foreign phy professor?” “Young man,” sternly replied the sicians in whose home countries a sim veteran, “on page 24, third paragraph, ilar privilege Is not accorded to resi under ‘Idiotic and Otherwise,’ you will dent practitioners in Cape Colony. Within the last two years two new tind clock ticks mentioned as a branch of tlie tempos fuglt.”—Baltimore News. words, with many others, have been introduced into the English language— "commandeering,” a |>ollte word for Not to Be Bluffed. "1 will have to have three more days theft, and "uiorganeering.” the legal out a week and receive my company acquisition of tbe property of others. While demolishing an ancient church In the parlor,” said the cook lady at Lallnde, near Perigueux. France, firmly. "Bridget,” replied tbe mistress of some workmen found an egg apparent tbe house, “I warn you not to push me ly in a perfect state of preservation too far. You seem to forget that I be Imbedded in the mortar of a wall that long to the Housewives’ union No. 17!” bad been standing for fully 800 years. The smallest state In Brazil is Ser —Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. gipe, with an area of 15.135 square Desiree of Love. miles and a population of 400,00(), most Silllcus — That fellow's head over ly a mixture of Portuguese, uegroes heels In love with bis girl. I wonder aud Indians. It is purely au agri they’ve not tieen married months ago. cultural state, yet there Is au almost CynlcuB— Probably be hasn’t reached entire lack of agricultural implements. tbe stage where he Buds himself more There are 257,006 names In the new miserable without bls loved one than city directory of Boston, an Increase he could be with her. — Philadelphia of 4,722 over the number last year. Record. Surprisingly, tbe John Sullivans this year outnumber the John Smiths Foiled at Last. three to one, but there are no Indica “I tell yew what, them bunko men tions that the Smiths are In danger tlidn’t git none o’ my money this trip!" of extinction. boasted Uncle Silas. Five of the twenty fellowships re “They didn't, bey?" “No. slrree! I lost my pocketbook on cently awarded In the department of the way to town, an' they wasn't noth philosophy, Unlvere'ty of Pennsyl- vauia, were given to women, Most of in’ fer ’em ter git!”—Judge. these fellowships carry witli them an income durlug the academic year of An Unfortunate Blunder. "Mr. Whistter says he Is much au- *500 and free tuition, with an addi noyed over the false report of bls tional *100 for particular research work. death.” During a recent performance nt tlie “How foolish of him to feel annoy ance over aueb an unfortunate blun Wllna (Russia) theater revolutionary proclamations were thrown from tlie der!”—Cleveland Plain Dealer gallery to the stalls. The governor, General Wahl, ordered the whole of On the Blllvllle Border. the occupants of the gallery to be ar “You were boru in Georgia?" "Yes, sub. 1 Dat what dey tells me.” rested and flogged. Among them was a man who shot at the geueral later “And raised there?" “Well, sub. dey tried ter raise me by way ot revenge. Milwaukee brewers are having trou once, but de ) rope broke!”—Atlanta ble with their employees over the quail Constitution. tlty of beer each man may be allowed A Slim Oatlook. to drink. The brewers are willing that “I think your papa, dear Rosa, has each man should have two quarts at been making some inquiries about me." uoon and two more at quitting time, "What has he told you?” but tbe men declare that they do not “Nothing; but he offered me a cigar, see bow any man can get along with and It was simply frightful!" but four quarts of beer a day. The Kind He Wauled. “I want to look at some dining loom tables,” said the customer. “Yes, sir.” said tbe clerk. “We have some very fine ones. Now. here is an unusually pretty table, very cheap too.” “Can you play pingpong on it?" "Well, why. to tell you tbe truth, sir, this table is not suitable for pingpong." "1 didn't ask you whether it was suit able or not. I asked you whether or not you could pluy plngpong on it.” "Well, no, sir; you can't.” "No way to stick in an extra board or to put patent fixings to the round corners or anything like that?" "No, sir; it would lie impossible to arrange this particular table so that the game of pingpong could tie played on It, but”— "That's all right. 1’11 take this table. Send it right up. You see, 1 wuuted to make sure.”—Chicago Tribune. Dlaplay. If there were no such thing as dis Coanter Irritant. “Still bothered by that amateur cor play In tlie world, my private opinion Is. and I hope you agree with me. that net player next door?” “No, I bought a dog.” we might get on a great deal better "What bad that to do with It?” than we do and might be Infinitely “Well, this was one of those dogs more agreeable company than we are. that howl frightfully every time they —Charles Dickens hear any sort of music.”—Exchange Her Reason. "But why did you encourage hnn If Downward Career. you didn’t want him to propose?” First Fish—What’s the matter with “Because Just at that time there Finback ? He looks seedy. wasu't any one else to encourage.”— Second Fish—Yes; he’s drinking like Chicago Post. a human being.- Puck.
