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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (June 5, 1902)
BANDON RECORDER. Cud. Once begun codûshiug on the Bankt is incessant, and when the fishing is good the men rarely ever sleep. Awak ened nt 2 a. in. to till their bait "kids,” or tubs, they start ut daybreak to lift these trawls nnd remove the overnight catch, rebaitlug the hooks again. There are about O.ooo hooks to handle, and this often occupies until eventide, when the boats row back. After unloading (he deck Is piled high with the glitter Ing mass of tisli. To eviscerate this and stow it In the bold keeps them until midnight, when they nnntch an hour or two of sleep. Some can go without sleep for n week. others will rub wet tobacco In their eyes so that the pain may keep them wuaeful a few hours longer. Otli- ers again will work till they drop from sheer i xhnustion and sleep as they lie untii aroused by comrades. A Chinese torture is to keep men without sleep, and "banking” does this to an extent to satisfy even the most exacting Ce lestial. The men sleep in their under clothing. When above decks, they can never lente olf their oilskins, for on the Ihu.ks it is rarely tine. Mist nnd murk prevail, ami the rigging and sails drip water always. Ainslee’s. imagine it is all play and big wages. Never was there a greater mistake, for f POLLY LARKIN 1 small wages and hard work are the _______________ F rule and not the exception. »»*• “Invalid” has the only question to be answered this week. Hbe sends a piti ful little story of her woes, aud like a good many other persons who are natu rally courageous and cheerful but who have become despondent, nervous and over-sensitive from long illness, feels that she is a burden to herself and to others, particularly others. Nhe wants to know what she can do to help her to forget herself; she is too nervous to read, and besides she never enjoyed books or magazines like otiier people, they al ways wearied her. Nhe had been used to an active life, and now this enforced idleness is slowly but surely wearing her out. »»»* In the first place, you were right in saying you must forget yourself, “In valid.” I think you will find half the battle won when you learn to do that. Employ your hands, and the following is a good way to do it: Get all the scraps of black and colored silks that you can and get your friends tx> ransack their scra|>-bagB for silk and pieces of ribbon. Cut them in narrow strips and about four inches in length, keeping the briglitones separate from the black. Then you are ready to make one of the most attractive couch covers you ever saw. If you don’t know howto knit, you must learn, and it is the simplest tiling in the world, your grandmother will tell you. Geta ballof twine, green or any other color you may desire, and knit these litte scraps of silk into strips of from four to five inches in width and the length of your couch. You will have one strip looking like a lieautiful black plume, the alternating ones of the bright bits of silk will be as bright as “Joseph’s coat of many colors.” By the time you have finished your couch cover you will forget yourself entirely and will not even think of being a bur den, for you will work that nervous strain off with the click of the flying needles. Try it and if it does not suc ceed, Polly is not a true prophetess. lu one of the big boarding-houses or hotels in San Francisco is a little wom an whose ambition to make something of herself beyond what her childhood’s education adapted her for, is worthy of note. Nhe is a waitress and is at her post morning, noon and night. She isn’t, as her friends express it, “any bigger than a minute,” being under five feet and weighing about ninety pounds. Nhe is attractive iu her mod est little way, and reminds you con stantly of a big old-fashioned china dol), she Is so prim, and wears her hair Just so. Nhe is always dressed in white with bright ribbon and looks like she bail “Just come out of a bandbox.” All of her life she lias wanted to take music lessons but could never gratify her de sire. Now she is married to a man who is a seaman and only home occa sionally. They have saved enough to buy a little home and furnish it, paying for it in Installments. Then came the possession of a piano paid for on the same easy terms. Not a note could she play except by ear. That did not sat A Clerlenl I'nn. isfy her. Nhe loved classical music and On one occasion nt Atliy, where Can on Ktavely. the English divine, was was determined to take lessons and lie then stationed. In- was visited by the able to gratify her taste for the higher archbishop, whom lie induced to visit class of music. All the money her ii new coffee house which had just la eu husband made went to help pay for the opened in the Interests of temperance. home and the piano. It would take Naturally the distinguished guest was some little time to settle for tlie same, served with a saliiple cup of coffee, lie and site felt that she was losing a good tasted it. while Canon Ila got and tin opportunity. Nhe took the position of manager waited in complacent expec waitress, gets her three meals a dav, tancy of eommemla I ion. They wile disappointed. The cup and with her wages takes music lessons was hastily set aside by the bishop, from one of the best instructors in the .who ejaculated, with prolonged and tin city. Every spare minute she spends mistakable emphasis: at the piano, practicing as though her “A-boni In aide!” bread and butter depended upon it. Then the manager suddenly remem While her friends are enjoying the the bered. “(th. your grace,” he explained, ater she is running scales and prac "a box ot matches fell Into tlie coffee tank this m -ruing, mid 1 did not think ticing exercises. Nhe is also taking It right to waste nil the contents of it.” singing lessons, and while she will never “If your grace will come ngain,” be a Patti or shine as a star in opera, promised Canon Itngot. Interposing she will delight many friends in the quickly, "I fnithfully promise you a days to come by the silvery sweetness matchless cup of coffee.” of the melodies sung in her own home. »»»» BRIEF REVIEW. Tlie Ingredient* of Firework*. All honor to the little woman who is The chief constituents of all fire English Forgers. works are gunpowder and its ingredi determined to do something that will Tlie first forger on the Bank of Eng ents. iron and steel filings and cast iron lift her out of the common humdrum of borings, free from rust, are used to in her life alter a while and give her an land, many of whose £5 notes have just crease the brightness of the display insight into the l>eauties of music that been successfully imitated, was Richard and produce the Chinese Are. When the her heart lias longed for from her baby William Vaughan, once a linen draper rocket explodes up in the air, the bright hood up to tlie present time. Think of of Htafford. He employed a number of and varicolored sparks are produced by what she lias got to go through with artists on different parts of the fabri these filings as they Ignite In the oxy from day to day, you who are so for cated notes, twenty of which he de gen. Copper filings and copper salts are tunate as to have a piano and receive posited as a proof that he was a man of used to produce greenish tints. A fine music lessons from the best of instructors means with a young lady whom he was blue is made with zinc filings. A light and yet do not appreciate the oppor about to marry. No suspicion was en greenish tint with much smoke Is made tunity to become a thorough musician. tertained until one of tlie artists gave out of sulphuret of antimony. Amber, You let golden moments slip by and are information to the police. Vaughan resin and common salt protected from glad whenever there is a chance to es- was arrested and executed at Tyburn in dampness produce a yellow fire. Salts eape from the tiresome practicing that 1758. The last person executed for for of strontia make a red light. A green this little woman hails with delight. gery was Thomas Maynard, and that light is also made by the salts of bari She does more than this, however, for was in 1829. There was once a “King um. she spends one to two hours every of the Forgers, ” as there is in every Deserted nt the End. evening reading some good liook from branch ofcrime. This man’s name was William the Conqueror was a man of our standard authors. Not a moment Ralph Cooper, who, on March 24, 1898, very gross habit of body and at the does she lose, and considering tlie ste|>s was sentenced to fifteen years’ impris siege of Mantes was hurt by the rear she has taken to improve herself, which onment for forging a check of £3070 on ing of his horse, the pommel of the have been in the nature of a task, the London and Westminster Bank. In saddle striking the king in the abdo men and causing injuries from which they are some of the brightest spots in the spacious timesof Elizabeth the pun he died in a few days. Before his her hitherto dreary and uneventful life. ishment for forgery was by line, the death he was deserted by all his at “When my Jim comes home, and with pillory, the loss of both ears cut off, the tendants, who stole and carried off my music and my books, what more slitting and scaring of the nostrils, the even the coverings of the bed on which could I want. I am happier than I forfeiture of land and imprisonment lie lay. The body remained on the floor ever dreamed I would be. Jim loves for life. of tlie room in which the king died for music as much as I do, and he is so two days before It was burled by char Astonishing Insurance Figures. proud to have me able to play and sing itable monks from a neighboring mon for him. By and by we will both be Few people have any idea of the enor astery. too old to work, then Jim wont go to mity of the insurance business of the Typogrnphlcnl Errors. sea any more, but we will have our UnitedHtates. It not only exceeds that American authors, no less than Eng home and our music and books and of any other country, but is twice as lish, sometimes suffer for the sins of something in bank to take care of us great as that of all the rest of the world the printer. A line of Mr. Aldrich's with. Then what joy we will have combined. At the present time there which originally read "A potent medi cine tor gods a ml men” was misprinted That day seems as if it is a long way is in the United Ntates about $12,000,- “A patent medicine,” etc. And Mr. Al off, but we are both happy in working 000,000 of life insurance in force, in cluding assessment business. This is drich’s equanimity was upset on an for it and planning ahead.” over $160 for every man, woman and «««« other occasion because in a serious mood be wrote in one of his poems There is another little waitress in the child in the country, or $800 for every “Now tlie old wounds break out afresh” same house with a history, or rather an family. The annual risks written by und was horrified to read that he had interesting little story. Nhe Is such a the fire insurance companies are esti said “Now the old woman breaks out frail girl, and her pretty face and re mated at $20,000,000,000, which is $250 afresh.” fined ways interest you before you )>er capita, or $1250 j>er family. Thus Itepfantliifl the Seed*. know anything about her trials in this it will be seen that every family in the Nubbins (shouting across tlie garden life. All day long she works in one of country, on an average, has insurance fence to his next door neighbor)—III. the big department stores in this city. assets of over $2000. there! What are you burying in that Nhe is worn out when the day is done bole? Makes Artificial Cartilage. but cannot gratify her desire to go home Neighbor—Ob, I’m Just replanting and rest. Nhe Is helping to support her A Viennese surgeon has invented a some of my garden seeds. Nubbins—Garden seeds, eh! Looks family on her small earnings. The sis new method of raising the broken nose ters and brothers must have at any rate or filling up similar cavities in the hu to me very much iike one of my hens. Neighbor—That's all right. The seeds a common school education, and there man anatomy. Under the skin which are Inside her. are school-ltooks to be purchase and sev is over the break he injects Bome lique eral hearty children who are blessed fied vaseline mixed with paraffin. This A Ki iik ’ m Miserable End. with good appetites to be fed. The mixture solidifies at the temperature of Louis XI., after having by open mur father has long since passed to his re the laxly, so advantage is taken of the der or secret assassination rid himself ward and her mother is sewing on time during which it cools to shape the of the most powerful nobility of France, died in miserable fear, begging his phy coarse overalls, getting $3.50 per week, hardening mass and give the hitherto sician to do something for him. During and out of that paying for the break deformed member quite a nice appear his Inst days lie sent for St. Francis of age of needles or any repairs to the ma ance. Thesolid mixtureremainB there, Paula nnd offered him untold riches to chine that she has in charge. Home and, moreover, the surrounding tissues intercede with heaven for a further times the repairs and breakage of join with it, so that in time the vase lease of life. needles during the month amounts to line becomes like cartilage. a good deal through no fault of the She Paid. Saw Jackson Inaugurated. operator, but no matter how unjust the "Dollar en a half fer a marriage li demand may be, they must pay it or Daniel Jarlxte Jewett of 8745 Weet cense!” exclnimed the colored appli give up the position. It is Hobson ’ s Pine street, Nt. Louis, is still practicing cant. Then, turning to the bride to be, choice, for j>oeitions are not picked up law, though 95 years old. Every day “Lindy, does you think I is wutb it?” “Well,” was thé reply, “hit do comt every day. There are too many idle he s|>endH six hours in his office in a mighty high, but 1 reckon I’ll hatter men and women anxious to step into downtown building. Jewett witnessed pay it, 'long ez I done come heah wid the vacancies, so they pay what is the inauguration of Andrew Jackson in youP’—Atlanta Constitution. demanded of them and dare not com 1829, and was a college boy at the na plain. This young girl after working tional capital when Welieter, Calhoun, Thanks to the Apple, She's Clothed. in a store all day, hurries to the fash Clay and Hayne were familiar figures Tess—1 detest apples, don’t you? ionable l>oarding-house, dons her little on the streets of Washington. Jess—Oh, no. Every time I put on a nice new gown I'm thankful that there uniform that all the girls are expected was an apple for Eve to ent.—Philadel to wear and waits on the tables that There is a tribe in Central Africa are in her charge. Nhe gets her board among whom R|>eakers in public debates phia Press and about $12 or $15 a month, besides are required to stand on one leg while More Work Thon Pl*y. what she earns in the store. Nhe is bo orating, and to apeak only as long as “Does she play whist?” weary many times that every particle they can stand. “No. She makes the worst work of It of color leaves her face and she looks you ever saw.”—Philadelphia Bulletin. like she is ready to faint, but there is Whatever the number of orders, no never a word of complaint, never a Iteer leaves the best German breweries Christian* and Jew*. When Charles Lamb was berating an sigh. This Is only one of many in until it has been standing for at least enemy, some one said to him, "Why, stances where girls who have to make you don’t know him.” Larnb replied, “1 a living for themselves and possibly three months. don’t want to know him for fear 1 others. Their lives are not the pleas Many a man goes around looking for should like him.” Christians and Jews make ignorance antest in the world, and yet you will trouble, and the minute he meets it he of each other a claim for judgment and hear girls who have happy homes in has a hurry call in another direction. seem to be afraid to become acquaint some of the surrounding towns wish Water sufficient to cover one acre one ed for fear that they might like each they could be clerks in some of the big other.—Peters’ “The Jew as a Patriot.” department stores in this city. They inch deep will weigh 101 tons. ANTISEPTICS. WHAT IS TEMPERAMENT! THE INNS OF CHINA. The» Do Not Destroy, It 1» Said, but Duly Arrest Germ Lite. No Wonder This Child’s Brsls Is All In a Maddla. Tbrlr < heap»*** I* «boat Tbrir On* Hedeemluu I t-alnre. l’lie Edinburgh Scotsman begs leave to correct the erroneous belief that im plies that antiseptics can prevent de cay. Decay may be arrested without killing the microbe which would pro duce it. A few drops of a solution of carbolic acid added to flour paste will keep It sweet for a certain time, not because the germs in the paste are de stroyed. but because these germs are hindered for tl’e time being in their growth nnd multiplication aud because the paste is reudered temporarily an unsuitable soli for the growth of what ever microbes may fall from the air In to it. When the effect of the acid has wort off nnd dlsuppeared, we see the paste going to the bad as rapidly as if it bad not been treated antiseptically at all. Molds will grow In It, and it will decay in the fashion familiar to everybody. It Is in this way cold may act as an antiseptic when it is used to preserve meat and fish. There is uo destruction, but only arrest of germ life. If we wish to kill microbes, therefore, we not only have to use a disinfectant, but we must employ It in proper proportions and see that It thoroughly attacks the germa we wish to destroy. It Is for this rea son that all attempts to kill germs which the air may contain are worse than useless. We cannot "disinfect” the air. If we could do so, we should re quire to saturate the air with our germ icide to such an extent that to breaths It would kill us. We get an excellent example of thia fallacy of "disinfecting air” when we reflect that In using burning sulphur to purify a room after a fever case we have to use It in such a way and in such proportion that it is impossible for any person to remain in the room at all. ___ _ The half dozen blocks about Dupont circle Include the homes of as many scientists of national reputation. Theas gentlemen of course know each other and meet frequently. Not long ago one of their neighbors began to wonder whether such intimate intercourse among scientists was a good thing, his cogitation having had its rise lu the following incident: Ills little daughter has Just reached the age when she asks 200 questions a day. About a month ago her father spoke of some author as lacking the proper “temperament” for writing on history. That word “temperament" apparently took root in the youngster's mind. What was temperament? She asked that question twice an hour for an entire week. Finally her father gave her a note to Professor---- and sent her off to find out. That scientist answered the que ry as follows: “Temperament is an In dividual tendency to the rise of a cer tain mental state." Father and daugh ter wrestled with that a little while and then applied to a second member of the scientific group for help. No. 2 called temperament “an ensemble of physical and mental traits arising from fundamental constitutional differences in individuals.” This put the little girl’s father completely at sea. So No. 3 was tried. His judgment w’as that “temperament is the psychic resultant of the whole organic life of the indi vidual.” By this time hope was aban doned. But when No. 4 volunteered to make it clear the family spirits re vived. “Temperament is a general dis position of the mind,” be wrote, “the distinctions of which depend on the dominance of one or the other of the physiological systems.” And now the family dictionary is worn out.—Washington Star. Chinese intis are without register or clerks. On riding through the gateway, your bridle rein is seized by a dirty, boy. who helps you to dismount, shout ing loudly meanwhile for the proprie tor. who presently looms up through the wilderness of carta and mules. Pro prietor a.d la>y then bold a parley as to what rooms are eligible, and then a door is pushed open and the traveler Is sli .wn to his apartment. It is usually nl out twelve feet square. The walls ami floor are of hard mud, and so are the beds, which extend entirely across the side of the room, with only space enough between them for a small table aud one chair. The room Is lighted by one window. In which paper takes the place of glass. 'l’lie first duty of the proprietor in making a patron comfortable is to stop up the lades in the paper window pane. He never tears the paper off entirely nml replaces It with a new one, be cause tlie sheet of paper Is worth a bout one-tenth of a cent, and the inn keeper is not wasteful. Indeed he pastes little slips of paper over the h Its until all the light that filters through it is of a mottled hue. At one end of the mule shed is the kitchen of the inn. It is here that the meals for all the patrons are prepared, to l><‘ eaten in the rooms. The menu Is not elaborate. It consists only of bowls of rice and tea. Should the traveler de sire n greater variety of food, lie can buy it himself in the market, and his own servant can cook It in the kitchen of the inn. To sleep on the bed of a Chinese inn would be for a foreigner an Impossibility were it not that be is always so exhausted at the end of each day's Journey that lie finds it dif ficult to remain awake ten minutes after alighting from his pony. He lies down on the mat that covers the hard heap of mud and surprises himself at the soundness of his slumber. The one redeeming thing about the inn is its cheapness. Just as the trav eler is about to depart in the morning the proprietor tells him the amount of Its bill. Everything is charged on the 'European plan.” Every cup of tea, every rushlight candle, the paper win dow pane, are all itemized in the long list wit ch tlie proprietor reels off In singsong. Imt the total is surprisingly low. The cost of food and lodging for one night for a traveler aud two serv ants. with stabling and fodder for bls ponies and cart mules, is about 50 cents. —New York Mail and Express. llldliiK Behind Big Words. A mining expert recently described a lode as traversing “a metamorphic matrix of a somewhat argilloarenace- ous composition.” This means literally ’a changed mass of a somewhat clayey- sandy composition.” This in Its turn may be translated into plain English as m-u-d. Why choke a puny fact with mur derous polysyllables? Huxley and Dar win, Lyell and Faraday could so write as to be “understanded of the people,” nnd there Is a suspicion abroad in these times that the big words so freely used by small men are a device to conceal Ignorance and inexact thought rather than a proof of superior knowledge.— Youth's Companion. M lint’s In an Kflg. The newly laid egg is entirely filled with yolk and white enveloped by a fragile shell. It Is at this moment that It possesses Its highest alimentary qual ities. These it would be capable of pre serving indefinitely If the tightness of the shell equaled that of a metallic box. But unfortunately such is not the case. The calcareous shell Is provided with pores, through which is soon establish ed a cross circulation of water and mi crobes. The water leaves the albumen and passes to the exterior in the form of vapor, while legions of bacteria en ter and fill the air chamber formed by evaporation. Evaporation causes the egg dally to lose on an average half a grain of Its weight. We can assure ourselves of this by immersing It In a quart of water containing four ounces of salt. On the first day It will descend to the bottom, on the second It will not sink to so great a depth, on the third It will re main near the surface and beginning with the fifth It will project above the surface so much the more in proportion as it Is older.______________ Ton .Much For the Sheriff. An Irish widow with a quick wit on« day received a call from a sheriff who had a writ to serve on her. According to the story, the widow saved the day by some rapid tire courting which took the sheriff by surprise when he called nt her house and began In formal fash ion: “Madam, I have an attachment for you.” “My dear sir,” she said, blushing, “your attachment is reciprocated.” “You don’t understand me. You must proceed to court,” said the sheriff. “Well, I know ’tis leap year, but I prefer to let you do the courting your self. Men are much better at that tliaD women.” "Mrs. Phelan. this is no time for fool ing. The Justice is waiting.” "The Justice waiting! Well, then, I suppose 1 must go, but the thing is bo sudden, and besides I’d prefer a priest to do it.” Milne*’ lloapltable Menagerie, W. Gordon McCabe says that when Monckton Milnes, the poet, aspired to grasp the social literary scepter falling from the withered hands of Rogers he gathered around his breakfast table in Fall Mall men of the most diverse per sonalities. creeds nnd tastes. In fact, the chief requirement for securing an Invitation to these brenkfasts, which soon became the talk of London, seems to have been that the guest must be a lion of some sort. Men of such pro nounced differences as Count d’Orsay, the elegant dandy; the rugged Thomas Carlyle, Sydney Smith, the brilliant wit, and Connop Thirlwall, the grave historian, sat there side by side, nnd had Buffalo Bill burst upon the town in those days Mr. McCabe thinks he, too, would undoubtedly have rubbed elbows in Milnes' hospitable menagerie with Tom Macaulay and Aubrey de Vere. Teat ot the A** of RflK*. There is a sure and simple test of age In an egg. Dissolve six ounces of com mon kitchen salt In a large glassful of wnter and drop in your eggs, one at a time. An egg one day old will sink to the bottom, but if older it does not reach the bottom. If three days old, it sinks only Just below the surface. If five days and over, it floats; and th« older It Is the more it protrudes from the water.—New York Press. Spet tHclea and Moliture» Wearers of spectacles are frequently annoyed by the glasses becoming dim from n deposit of moisture upon them. An easy way to prevent this is to wash the glasses every morning with soft potash soap. The glasses should then be polished, but an invisible film will remain which will prevent moisture being deposited on them. Killing: ■ Baby. When Frank It. Stockton had plan ned out his book of Pomona’s travels and was about ready to write It, he re sided In Philadelphia. He had a busi ness appointment with his dentist, aji old friend, one day, when the follow ing incident, told by himself, occurred: “While in the chair I got to talking with this friend about my new book. I told him 1 had serious thoughts of kill ing that baby. lie was much Interest ed. We talked over the advisability of doing this, and, while he was not quite convinced, lie in the main agreed with me. 1 had been finished with and, clasping bis hand, went into the wait ing room ou my way out. This waiting room was filled with women. “As I passed through the door I heard him call, ‘Then you have posl- tlvely decided to kill that baby?’ ‘Posi tively,’ 1 replied. “You should have seen the women stare. It was not until I got well out in the hallway that I realized what they must of course have been thinking.” " Precedent. A clever answer in court was that given to Chief Justice Coleridge yean ago, when he was defending a lady whe bad become a Nister of Mercy and was expelled from the convent for refusing to obey tlie rules. She had brought an action for expul sion and libel. In the course of th« trial Coleridge assumed that breaches of discipline are trivial, contemptibl« and should never be noticed. “What has Miss Sawin done?” he asked Mrs. Kennedy, a mistress ol novices. “Well,” said the lady, “she has, foi example, eaten strawberries.” “Eaten Htrawberrles? What harm ll there In that?” “It was forbidden, Bir,” said Mrs Kennedy. “But, Mrs. Kennedy, what troubl« was likely to come from eating straw berries?” “Well, sir,” said Mrs. Kennedy, “you might as well ask what trouble wai likely to come from eating an apple, and yet we know what trouble did come from it.” That closed the discussion. A I’aeful Woman. “Blennerhnsaet,” said Mrs. Bllggins us lie was about to start down town, “can you let me have a little money to run the housff with today?” "You can have just 50 cents,” he growled, flinging the coin at her and slamming the door behind him as be went out. "By the way, Bligglns,” said a friend who dropped Into his place of business an hour or two later, "will you go my security on a note for $500?”- "Sliortlelgh,” replied Bligglns, “it is an inflexible rule In my family that I must uever do anything of that kind without consulting my wife.”—Chicago Tribune. A Summer Without Niffhts. To the summer visitor in Sweden there Is nothing more striking than the- almost total absence of night At Stock holm. the Swedish capital, the sun goes down a few minutes before 10 o’clock und rises again four hours later during a greater part of the month of June. But the four hours the sun lies hidden In the frozen north are not hours of darkness. The refraction of his rays as he passes around the north pole makes midnight ns light as a cloudy midday and enables one to rend the finest print without artificial light at any time dur ing the “night.” The Name* ot Two Cltlea. Buaalol Too Soon. FARMER JOE’S SPEECH. It Wa* Short, but It Cruahrff Bunipllou* Youa**t*r. th* “You may get the better of an oppo nent in debate," said an old time ora tor, “by sheer force of convincing argu ment-that is to say, you may score and win ou points—but If you want to put your man down and out at a single coup just make him ridiculous. Only succeed in doing this, and all the logic of the other side will explode In vacan cy like so many blank cartridges. “Once when I was serving a term up the state In the legislature a bumptious youngster who had just been introduc ed was laboring through his maiden effort. He was attacking a man who was his senior by at least a score and ten years and thought to make a hit by referring to him as ’that little gray beard from Herkimer.’ Rymal of Niag ara rose to reply. He was an old timer, who never si>oke unless he had some thing to say aud so was always sure of un attentive audience. Farmer Joe. a* be was called, got up slowly, gradually expanded himself to his full height of 6 feet 4, thrust his left hand behind the tails of a capacious aud somewhat shabby frock coat, held up the Index finger of his right baud, cleared bls throat ominously and solemnly began: “’Mr. Speaker, the honorable gentle man who has just spoken has never read Pope’s essay. If he had, he would remember that the “soul’s the standard of the man." And, sir, fifty such souls as that of the honorable gentleman who preceded me eoukMte put luto the skull of a flea and have as much room there as two frogs in Lake Superior.’ "lie didn’t have to say more. The chamber went into a convulsion of laughter which lasted for several min utes after the tall farmer bad resumed his seat. As for the youngster, he did the best he could. He wriggled about, got red In the face, tried to look uncon cerned and kept bls mouth closed dur ing the balance of the session.”—New York News. FLOWER AND TREE. Palms never live more than 250 years, ivy has been known to live 450, chest nut 860, oak 1,600 and yew 2,880 years. Nothing is better for house plants than to be set out in a gentle, warm rain, but a cold rain and wind are any thing but hopeful to them. In planting trees an important point not to be forgotten Is pressing the soli down upon the roots so that they will come in close contact with It. A pot of flowers In bud should re ceive all the sunshine possible, but when the buds open keep them in shade, and they will last longer. Tlie largest apple tree in New Eng lund is In Cheshire, Conn. Its trunk measures one foot above all root ex- hu-gementa, 13 feet 8 inches in circum ference. An orchard, whether young or old, should not be allowed to grow where heavy crops of grass are taken every year. It Is weakening to the soil and detrimental to the trees. In Ashanti there grows a tree resem bling in appearance the English oak, which furnishes excellent butter. Thia vegetable butter keeps in perfect con dition all the year round in spite of th* hea t. The rear end of a Fordham car was congested the other afternoon. There wasn’t even "standing ruom only." A Jocular commuter said, "Beware of pickpockets!” Everybody laughed. A gentlemanly looking fellow said: “No man need be afraid of pickpock ets if he does as I did. I have a self patented scheme. I have a buttonhole in my vest imcket. I run my chain through it and attach the other end In the usual way. They can’t draw that watch through that buttonhole. No pickpockets In mine, and don’t you for get it.” The crowd thinned out. At Wendover avenue the "patentee” said startingly: “My watch is gone!” Somebody had clipped the chain, Drlakln* Through the Nostril*. drawn it through the other way and The Indian sages do not practice abstracted the watch.—New York their breathing exercises simply for News. the sake of repose and sleep. During A Story of Two Necklace*. the Inbreathing energy is increased. When General Weyler was sent by These Indians are not the only people Spain as governor general to Manila, who believe that with the Inbreathing Don Carlos Palanca, the wealthy Span- of pure air there comes something still iardized Chinaman, determined to send more vital than oxygen. But the Indi M tb . Weyler a gift, the customary way ans have developed the art of breath of obtaining the good will of the Span ing more than any other people. ish officials. He found at a Jeweler’s One of their favorite exercises is to two necklaces, each costing $20,000 und Inhale through the left nostril, to bold both being so beautiful that be could the breath for a time and then exhale not choose between them. So he sent through the right nostril. them both to Mrs. W’eyler with the Another of their exercises is to drink message that she should make her water through the nostrils, and after it choice. He received a warm letter of has been retained for a short time it la thanks from her, stating that the neck expelled through the nostrils and the laces were so beuutlful that she could mouth. This is said to cool the head.— not decide between them and hence Chambers’ Journal. would keep both, which she did. Theorle* About Drowned Bodie*. It was a popular theory in days gone by that the body of a drowned man would float the ninth day. Sir Thomas Browne alludes to it as believed In his time, and in his “Pseudo-doxla Epi demics” there Is a discussion on this fanciful notion. It was also believed that the spirits of those drowned at sea were doomed to wander for a hundred years owing to the rites of burial hav ing never been properly bestowed upon their bodies.— Notes aud Queries. A Martyr. “She Is the most sacrificin’ woman fer miles around.” “In what way?” “Waal, whenever they git up a lawn fete or sumpen like for the church in which the expenses are more’n the pro ceeds the committee alwus sends her up to acquaint the pastor with the re sult.”—Baltimore Herald. A True Growl** Banana*. Bananas ure as a rule planted ou* systematically in rows, the "suckers” being placed at an average of ten feet apart. The banana plant bears only one bunch at a time, but it is a quick grower, yielding Its fruit in twelve to fourteen months. When the plant la about six months old, a second "suck er” or shoot is allowed to spring from the root, a third after the ninth month, and so on, so that after the first year there is a continuous crop being reaped. Fan* In Shakeapeare’a Tina*. Fans In Shakespeare's time seem to have been composed of ostrich and oth er feathers fastened to bandies. Gen tlemen carried fans In those days, and In one of the later figures of the ger- num they now carry fans. According to an old manuscript in the Ashmolean museum. Sir Edward Cole rode the cir cuit with a prodlgous fan, which bad a long stick, with which he corrected bls daughters. Philosopher. The greatest thing we ever saw in the way of a philosopher was a one armed man In a manicure establish ment who gloated because he got hiH work done for half price.—Washington Post. Of More Importance. “Get nty name right,” said the proud owner of the 1.175 pound bog. “It’s Judson Ii. Bimm. My father was Colo nel Hiram IIotcbkiBs Bimm of Lexing ton, Ky. He came to Illinois In the year"— ■xtreme*. “Newer mind that,” Interrupted the Mrs. A.—My husband Is positively secretary of the fat stock show. "Give impossible. lie knows nothing. us the pedigree of the hog."—Chicago Mrs. B.—Mine is simply unbearable. Tribune. He knows everything.—Tit-Bits. On the principle of “In Rome do as the Romans do” I think It a safe rule to pronounce the name of a place as the residents of that place do. says a writer. Hence we should speak of St. Louis as though it were written “St. To say silly things Is about as bad as Lewis,” not “St. Louee.” All good Mis sourians say “St. Lewis.” It is a little to do them.—Punxsutawney Spirit. difficult to put down in black and white the local pronunciation of New Love is a tickling sensation at the Orleans, but It Is something like this, heart that cannot be scratched. "New Awl-yins,” with the strong ac cent on the “Awl.” Ostrich Plume*. All the biack nnd white plumes come An Appropriate Text. from tlie male ostrich, the gray from A preacher in nn eastern city was a the female. The feathers are not pluck little fellow, so little that a box had ed out, as you might imagine, but are to be hastily brought from the cellar clipped off with a sharp knife, leaving for him to stand on. The services pro the end of the quill In the flesh, where ceeded safely until the sermon, when it remains for two or three months, un he mounted the box nnd announced his til it "dies,” when It is pulled out with text. "A little while ye shall see me. forceps. and a little while and ye shall not see •rne British war office has Issued a me." At this point the box broke, and the prophecy was verified amid the "manual of chiropody” for the soldiers, smothered laughter of the congrega the Importance of care of the feet dur tion. ing marches being the Incentive. Occasional Relief. Visitor to the Prison—I suppose this life of yours iu here Is a continual torture. Convict—Oh. no! Not so bad ns that. We don’t have visitors every day. you know.—Boston Transcript. * Satisfaction In It. I “You know, my dear," said her friend, “wealth does not mean happi ness.” “Well,” said the young lady who was considering a possl’ le proposal, “it means carte blanche with one’s milli ner and one's dressmaker!” Harry R Fisher of St. Louis owns a chair supposed to have been made In 1809 by Abraham Lincoln’s mother and used by the president when he was u boy. The chair Is about thirty Inches high snd entirely of hickory.
