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About Bandon recorder. (Bandon, Or.) 188?-1910 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 21, 1901)
BANDON RECORDER. T'ie Water Beetle. The great carnivorous water beetle, tlie dytlscus, after catching aad eat ing other creature s ail day. with two minute Intervals t > come up, poke the tips of Its wing ut of lhe water and Jani' some air <i usa nst Its spiracles he fore descending S oi lve more to Its sub aqueous hunt!: grounds, will rise by night from the surface of the Thames, lift ngnlu those horny wins cases, un fold a broad nnd beautiful pair of gauzy wings mid whirl off on a visit of love nnd adventure to some distant pond, on to which It descends like a bullet from tlie n!r a bo vc. When people ■e sitting In a green- house at i '.light witli uo lamp lighted, talking i or smoking, they sometimes hear n Ktunsli 11 it:) If a pebble had been dropped ou t l!:c glnss from above. It <t'.eu3 beetle whose compound Is a eyes have mistaken the shine of tlie gins: In the moonlight for the gleam of a paini. At n ght some of the whirligig bee- ties. Ill e shiny bennllke creatures seen whirl!: g in incessant circles lu cor tiers I tiiv bank, make a quite audible nnd n most musical sound upon the water.--Spectator. S!»c Showed Ilin» Iler Work. Tlie woman had her arms In the tub and was fiercely scrubbing one dirty garment after another. Book agents don't often penetrate to that part of Chicago, In t Iks one did. lie knocked on ilie front door until he was tired, aud tliea lie went around to tlie back door. The woman was bobbing up and down over Hie washboard. "Good morning, madam.” said the boo!; agent pleasnntly, “Good mornlti,” said tlie woman shortly. "Pleasant day,” observed the book agent. sparring reran opening. "Good enough.” answered the wo man, "Excuse me. madam,” said the book agent. ”in:t I have here a work tliat I would like to show you.” "Have you?” answered the woman. “Weil. I've got a lot of work Hint I'd like to show you.” She took one soapy hand out of the till) und waved it ut a great pile of dirty clothes. "That's my work," went on the wo man. "If your work can bent that, all right; if It can't, why. skip out." Tlie book agent skipped. — Chicago Tribune. flo»- to I.earn to Like Plctnrc«. The following suggestions. If you please, are not from mt artist nor even from n connoisseur, tlie writer being nothing more Hum an ordinary picture lover. In general tlie principle to lie followed is to get as tnuc-h In an atmos phere of pictures as possible. Always go to Hie museums when you are trav eling, and if you live near enough make occasional picture visits to Bos ton, Chicago or New York. Do not make the mistake of staying too long in n gallery. You only tire yourself. Half an hour is quite long enough But do not endeavor to look nt every pic ture in the gallery in tliat lime. Look long at a few good ones and let those you look nt be those you like or at least those which you prefer above Hie otii ers. Also ask yourself why you prefer them. Always get a catalogue. Some times tlie pictures arc not marked, and you as a student wan’ always to know the painter of your picture.—Frederic M. Smith in Woman's Home Compan ion. “She stayed by him through every thing.” This is what a young man who had started out witli tlie brightest prospe<*Is, but who had invited failure to his hitherto enviable career until ruin stared him in the face, heard as two neighbors who had been waiting on his invalid wife, conversed in low tones on the vine-clod porch of liis home. “Yes, stayed by him, but why shouldn’t she? Didn’t she take him for better, for worse, for richer, for pixirer, etc.?” “Yes; but 1 tell you that few women who made that vow when tlie man they pledged themselves to be true to, was all honor and ambition, would tlml it easy when lie forgot wife, home and friends as well as his business for tlie little grocery around the corner and tlie few men who styled themselves his friends who congregated there from day to day and night after night, until the den of iniijuity was closed and forced them to go staggering home. But thut poor little martyr in there, who lias been far too true to the man who wrecked her life, and too loyal to ever breathe one word against him, has borne everything in silence While I think everything of her, and will miss her sadly, still I hope she will die, for there is nothing but utter misery ahead of her. Her husband lias long since ceased to care for her. She lost her hold on him and she knows it. She knows that all tlie influence she ever had over him is gone, and nothing she might say would have any effect. Poor little soul! it seems only yesterday since he brought her here a bride. Her beauty and lovely manners were the talk of tlie town Every act, every movement and word allows her to be the well-brought up and relined little woman that she is. No matter liow degraded lie may lie- come, lie cannot pull her down to his level, lie may sink lower and lower, but she will never desert him until a kind providence says it is enough, and calls her to her eternal rest.” “Well, I think that time lias come,” said the other friend. “She is very low and does not stand one chance in a hun dred of getting well. I am like your self und hosts of others. We would sadly miss her, lint if, through the lift ing of my hand I could keep her here, I would not do it and have her suffer tlie humiliation site suffers at the hands of her husband, who lias long since ceased to cure for her.” “It is time to give lier tlie medicine. I dread it, too, for it is so hard for her to swallow. I tiiiuk every dose will be her last, how ever.” had been the verdict of the physician. He was thankful for that one chance, for if love and care would puli her through they would save her from Death, which sttsid witli waiting arms to ie.-eive her. Night and day lie watched by her side until the crisis came and the doctor announced that they had won and Death was defeated. It was the beginning of a new era. He lias kept his promise, and to-day there is not a happier home on tlie Pacific Coast than the one presided over by the man who bad been denounced as a reprobate. Great is the hue and cry that is going up against “yellow journalism,’' and it makes Polly smile. “Toosensational,” cries one crabbed old fellow. “Not tit to go into a decent man's household.” I pick up one after tlie other of our daily papers, hastily scan the contents and would feign remark, “the pot called the kettle black.” One is probably a little more sensational tliaii the others, and yet if the people who are denounc ing “yellow journalism” in loud, vigor ous terms did not buy it and devout its columns, the paper would soon find’ that the majority of its patrons did not like that class of rending and it would soon cease to give us sensational matter. A young lady said the other day, “I hate this paper, Polly, for it is so sensa tional and is out-and-out the so-called ‘yellow journalism.’ ” “Then why in the world do you buy it and encourage ‘yellow journalism?’ ” 1 asked. “Peo ple are not compelled to buy papers. They make their own selection, yet they will not have anything else. Ho long as people demand it ‘yellow jour nalism’ will continue to flourish.” BRIEF REVIEW. Big Hotel’s Capacity. Neither tlie business nor the com pleteness of a big hotel is appreciated by tlie patron who finds his interest satisfied with tlie accommodations it furnishes. He knows in a general way that it might lie a dozen stories high and several cellars deep, and that the thousand or more guests are attended by servants on every hand, and when he pays his bill he believes that the charges are exorbitant. One of these hotels, which differs from tlie others chiefly in degree, represents an invest ment of $15,000,000. The 1400 bedrooms and 750 bathrooms in it are so con structed by a series of inner courts that each opens to tlie outer air. It has several concert balls and theaters, three great ballrooms, and, in addition to its public dining-room, where, during Horse Show week, for instance, 10,000 people were served daily, it has a series of private dining-rooms which are ar ranged for from ten to 1000 persons. In tlie largest ballroom in this hotel was given one night last winter the charity ball, attended by 3500 people, to whom supper was served, and on the same evening in other parts of tlie hotel were in progress two concerts, a dinner of an association of 300 men, and a dozen smaller dinner parties in privatedining- rooms, each isolated so completely that no one of the 1500 regular guests need know of it. NEW SHORT STORIES CHOICE MISCELLANY THE PROLIFIC FLY. To Leaarn the Pest All Organic Ref. uate Should Be Burled. Flies multiply at a prodigious rate, Given a temperature sufficiently high to hatch eggs, their numbers are only limited by the amount of food avail- aide for them. I.luuaeus is credited with saying that three meat flies, by reason of their rapid multiplication, would consume a dead horse quicker than would a lion, and the fact that certain diptera having some outward semblance to the honeybee lay their eggs In the dead carcasses of animals probably led Samson and Virgil to make erroneous statements with re gard to the genesis of honey and the manufacture of bees. Tlie breeding of “gentles” for ground bait Is an Indus try Hie practices of which could prob- ubly give much Information as to the nicety of choice exercised by files in selecting material for feeding and egg laying. According to Packard, tlie house fly makes selection of horse dung by preference for ovipositing, nnd ns each female lays about KJO eggs and the cycle of changes from egg to fly Is completed In less than three weeks It seems probable that n female fly might have some 25.000.000 descendants In tlie course of a hot summer. Other va rieties of files multiply. I believe, still more rapidly. As flies multiply upon and in organic refuse of every kind. It Is obvious that the sooner such refuse is placed where It cannot serve for the breeding and i .Ti liing of tiles the more likely Is the plague of flies to be lessened. The most commonly available method for tlie bestowal of organic refuse is bur ial. The egg laying of flies In dead carcasses commences at the very In stant of death or even before death in the case of enfeebled animals.—Lancet. MISTAKES TO AVOID. An English paper gives what It terms "thirteen mistakes of life:” It Is a great mistake to set up our own standard of right and wrong and Judge people accordingly. To measure the enjoyment of others by our own. To expect uniformity of opinion In this world. To look for Judgment and experience In youth. To endeavor to meld all dispositions alike. To look for perfection In our own so tlons. To worry ourselves and others with what caunot be remedied. Not to yield In Immaterial matters. Not to alleviate all that needs allevia tion as fur ns Iles in our power. Not to make allowances for the Infir mities of others. To consider everything impossible that we cannot perform. To believe only what our finite minds can grasp. To expect to be able to understand everything. The Evolution of Warships. As they disappeared her husband, \ man need not be a scholar to be who had been an unwilling listener, an Inventor. One of the most success emerged from the vines where he had fill aeronauts of old times who had thrown himself to get out of the way of made a study of perial ciffrents and tlie tlie watchers beside his invalid wife. management of balloons once delivered He had never for an^nstant before an address lu which lie referred to realized that she was dangerously ill. “tlie anaconda" as “the largest bird “Sick unto death and I never knew it,” that ever flew.” and he also remarked that “tlie mental faculties of a man's lie whispered. “I know I have neg mind Is so constructed ns to bring lected her, but never as bad as they tilings down to a pin's point.” He also have made it out. Now that I recall referred tc tlie currents of air as California Fruits in Europe. everything it is worse, far worse than meaning strata, and yet he they have made me out. I’ve been a The latest American “invasion” of stretcliums. A Vnotlifa! Promoter. was one of the foremost balloonists of A horseman bad an amusing experi brute. Heaven knows I never realized Europe is the carrying of fresh Califor his time. ence near the speedway a few days tliat I had sunk so low, and yet through nia fruits to London and Paris in the He was an Inventor also of many ago. He called to ail Idle newsboy to it all she has stood by me and never face of the competition of the Spanish useful tilings and was the first man hold Ills horse while lie made n call on uttered a word of censure. She must and Italian fruit-growers. A Valencia, in tlie country to suggest an Ironclad a client. O:i leaving tlie house lie was not die; she must live so that I can re Spain, paper says: “California oranges, man-of-war witli slanting sides. He surprised to see another boy in charge trieve the past.” For the first time in peaches, apples and pears reach Paris, I uilt a miniatfire vessel on tiffs plan of tlie liorse. So lie asked: of sheet iron, placing It in the water "How's this? You are not tlie boy I many months he was sober, for the re after traveling 6000 miles, in a more ap and tired musket balls at It at short petizing condition than ours, ” and adds alization of the terrible calamity that left my horse with.” range. Every ball glanced off The "No. sir. ! Jist spckllated and bought was about to be visited upon him had that her fruit-growers can only com- Merrimac was built on a similar plan, him of tlie other boy for 10 cents. He torn away the vail that obscured his pete with America by employing Amer and from (lint humble beginning the snld os how you were only worth a mental vision. The unintentional eaves- ica's improved methods of cultivation. evolution or revolution In naval archl nickel, nnd I says you wore good for a drop|a*r had heard nothing good of him California is a natural fruit garden, uml lecture took Its start.—Baltimore Sun. quarter. Sec?" self and he shuddered at the word pic its crops are far too large to be con The boy got Hie quarter and went Wliat to Head. around the corner, where the first bey ture they had drawn of him. Not sumed in the home markets. For years Rend the good old books that have the California orchardist has been seri was wailing under an open window in flattering, to be sure, but an o’er true lived and held tlieir own by the vital likeness. Every minute was precious ously considering the foreign demand, ity of matter and style that makes the home of the horseman's friend. and many wonderful schemes have "That's tlie way ter work the swells," now. He must be beside his wife to aid them standards, Don't read a lot of said tlie young speculator to Ills com in fighting oil* the dread destroyer. He been devised to ship fresh fruit abroad. new books about the Bible. Read the panion. "F.f you had staid, lie woulder bathed his face over and over again, California prunes have, generally, taken Bilile. ano then you will understand coughed up a dime Tlie bluff made t<s>k a drink of cold water, brushed his tlie place of the French article, and what you may afterward read about him erskann d t-j hand over less than hair and step|>ed into the sick room. California orangeshave lieen cultivated the Bible, Read Shakespeare, n«t con- the two lilts. Yon gets 12 cents, nnd I troversles on Shakespeare; read Scott keep tlie extry cent for permotln dis The watchers were startled by his ap until they have reached a state of per and Thackeray ami Dickens and George fection never before attained. pearance. "Ladies, ” he exclaimed, “ I scheme. See?" —New York Times. Eliot. Do not be content with a short have just learned that my wife is very history of literature that tells you their Huge Sailing Vessels Being Built. Cl owe to n Fool. dangerously ill. My place is beside best works and makes a few discon A farmer was working in his field her, and I certainly shall not leave her Steam does not run all the world— nected extracts and tells you tlieir wheu a sewing machine man came until all danger is passed. Please tell not quite. Sailing vessels of huge di standing and what you should think along. me about the medicines, when they mensions are being built by Americans. of them. "Good morning." said tlie sewing ma Rend Intelligently nnd with Interest, are to be given, etc., and then you la They are good for large cargoes and chine barker. and every book you read will guide dies had better lie down and rest a little long voyages. They do not require so “Mornlu." you to the next that Is good for you “Your corn seems to be pretty yel while. I will call you if there is any many men, they do not cost so much in personally far better than a strange change. Words fail to express my ap operation, and so they are being im low.” mentor can „ who Is often full of preciation of what you ladies have al proved, developed and run at a profit. theories "Yn.is: I planted yellow cawn." nnd prejudices or perhaps lias "You don't seem to have more than ready done.” He was so persistent in Within a few weeks the keel will be got up a course of study as a “pot boil half a crop.” his efforts to have them seek rest that laid for the first of seven seven-masted er” and has no real love of bls subject. "Wnnl. I planted it ou the halve*” they finally consented to do so, and steel schooners, “destined,” to quote “You reel.i pretty close to a fool.” alter fully explaining to him how and from the announcement” to lie the larg Iloraen’ Snnbonneta. “Ymis; there's only a fence between when the medicines were to be admin est and greatest cargo-carrying craft of The wearing of sunbounets by horses us.” n hot weather Is by no means a mod When tlir sewing machine man came istered, they finally retired with the that type ever put afloat. ern invention. In an old Italian print, to. It required the services of two doc understanding that they were to be New English wordsareconstantly be dated 1542. n gentleman Is shown rid tors to get him Into such shape tliat he called if the slightest change occurred. ing made to till the needs of modern in ing on horseback witli an umbrella fix was aide to make tlie next town.—New over Ills own head nnd another over Orleans Times-Democrat. Then his weary vigil commenced. ventions. To give some idea of this ed Hint of bis liorse. In Mexico horses are tremenous growth of the language, the He sat by her side reviewing the post A Pountl of Swallow«. words and phrases under the letter A, often protected by a stnnll parasol‘ris How many live swallows go to a and holding her wasted hand. “Would have increased in fifty years from 7000 Ing over tlie head, and n horse similar ly accommodated has lately been seen pound? Tills question lately formed she live'.'” The spark of life seemed to nearly 60,000. In Regent street. Unfortunately this tlie subject of a bet In the little town almost spent. There was no answering headdress annoyed .the conventional of N—. In Bilden A swallow was pressure as lie caressed the wasted hand. caught and Its legs nnd wings tied up What a change since he placed the en Samples of coal from Iceland, front “liorse In tlie street,” and It came very will n piece of silk thread nnd placed gagement ring upon it only a few short which great things were expected, have near causing more than one disaster on on tlie senles. To everybody's surprise years ago. Then it was dimpled and l>een officially tried on the railways in the way to Langham place.—London It was found to weigh only ten white. He remembered the diamond Denmark. The trials have not been Chronicle. grams, so tliat It takes 50 of them to was not a large stone, but she hail said satisfactory; the official report declares A Toor of the Kscarlal. make up p pound.—Karlsruher Nadi It requires about four days to make it was “a gem as pure as their love.” the coal to be poor fuel. richten an Investigation of the Escurlal, tlie Then later come the broad gold band— The entire edition of the Callao, Mo., great Spanish palace, there being such I napprcctniive. their wedding ring. She still wore it, “You find spring water a very great but lhe little circlet of gold would hard Herald recently was rejected by the a multitude of rooms and apartments To travel all Hie halls, chambers, eorrl advantage in dairying. I presume?” ly stay on the wan little hand now that postal authorities because the pressman dors, lenglhs and depths of the great "Ob. I don’t know,” raid tlie milk had smallpox. palace would require a tour amounting man. "Tlienverngc person buying milk had been so dimpled and white and to over 100 miles. doesn’t know tlie difference between the inside as pink as a sea-shell and The common measure of road distance spring water nnd any mtlicr kind.”- velvety ns a rose. “Would she live?” llrnllhr Tree«. Over and over again he asked the ques in France is the kilometer, or KOO me Detroit Journal. The time In tlie summer at which the tion and vowed that if her life be spared ters, a littleoverthree-quarters ofa mile. leaves begin to turn Is a tolerably sure /. Good klaren In. he would turn over a new leaf, and his Itesidents In England have £110,000,- Indication of the soundness of the Minister (reading wedding service!— devotion would cause her to forget the . And you. Ilans, lake tills woman for wretchedness of the past. He de 000 invested in mortgages in foreign tree. Some trees will keep their foliage countries. green until September, while the leaves •better, for worse? nounced himself for his cruelty ami of unhealthy trees will liegln to show Ilans Frankfurter (conscleutlouslyi- India does not produce any horses fit signs of turning brown or yellow In For better, sir! She Imf $40; I got not blindness. “There was one chance in a thousand of pulling her through,” for military service. * A ugust tings!—Brooklyn Eagle. Major McKinley In Defeat. American Ideas In Hn*land. A writer in the London Daily Mall One day when the late president, thus pictures the domestic life of the then Major McKinley, had Just been average Englishman: “He rises In the defeated for congress. Major Pearce morning his New England fold met him at the counter of a downtown ing bed, from shaves with American soap cigar store. Mr. McKinley was de and a Yankee razor, pulls on cidedly downeast over his defeat and his Boston boots safety over from did not conceal the fact. He approach North Carolina, fastens his his socks ed Major Pearce and said, "Major, cut braces, slips bls Waltham Connecti or Wa you have been most fortunate.” watch in bls pocket and sits The St. Louisan looked at the future terbury to breakfast There be congratu president Inquiringly, and Mr. McKin down his wife on the way her Illinois ley continued: "Yes, you see, when the lates straight front corset sets off her Mas war was over, instead of taking up a sachusetts blouse, nnd he tackles his profession, as you have done, I took breakfast, where eats bread made the plunge into politics, and you can from prairie flour, he tinned oysters from see where I am now after my defeat, the Pacific coast aud a slice of Kansas with little prospect before me. You took the sensible course by going out City bacon, while his wife plays with slice of Chicago ox tongue. The to St. Louis and beginning the prac a thlldren are given American oats. At tice of law.” the same time be reads his morning Major Pearce’s reply was prophetic: printed by American machines “Never mind, major, Just take another paper possibly on American paper. He good start, and ten years from now and rushes out, catches the electric tram you won't change places with me if I (New York) to Shepherd’s Bush, where offer you a bonus. It’s in you.” be gets In a Yankee elevator to take It was about this same period that an on to the American fitted electric Incident happened which Congressman him to tlie city. At lunchtime he Joe Cannon used to tell ou Mr. McKin railway ley, The two met at a Chicago hotel, hastily swallows some cold roast beef comes from a cow In Iowa and both having been defeated for re-elee that flavors It with the latest New England tion. They were surrounded by a nnd then sootlies his tnlnd with dozen or more friends who were com a pickles couple of Virginia cigarettes. To miserating them on tlieir defeat. Mr. follow his course all day would be McKinleyMuis smiling blandly aud as suring friends tliat everything wearisome. But when evening comes would come out all right, and he was he seeks relaxation at the latest Amer musical comedy nnd finishes up not in the least disheartened. One by ican one tlieir friends left them. Caution witli a couple of ‘little liver pills’ ‘made In America.’ ” was tlie first to speak. “Bill?” witli a rising Inflection. Pat Shot With thr Camera In Battle. “What Is it, Joe?” Few photographers In the States re “Now tliat we are alone there Is no alize to what au extent photography use lying to each other. I am all cut lias been useful in the work of the up about my defeat. How about you?” United Stntes In pacifying the Philip "Me, too.” said Mr. McKinley.—St. pines. A very complete photographic Lou I s G lol >e-1 temocra t. department lias been organized, and its members have performed some real Simple I'ni-le 1’aal. ly heroic feats. Captain O’Keefe per Tlie latest about the naivete of Oom formed before Malabon one of the Paul: A few years ago the French col most brilliant pieces of photography ony in tlie Transvaal, on the occasion ever attempted. He was engaged In of tlie French national fete on July 14, taking a picture of the enemy's In- gave a grand ball at Johannesburg, treiicliments some hundred yards with which, after much persuasion on the out our lines when a band of Filipinos, part of M. Aubert, tlie French consul. led by a deserter, attempted to cut him President Kruger, who hated social off. lie calmly focused his camera on functions of nil kinds, was Induced to the proper spot, waited until the band attend. Elaborate costumes had been broke from cover, not fifty yards from donned by tlie Indies, nil of whom were him, nnd then photographed them, en grande decollete. During his subsequent retreat his as- At tlie hour fixed President Kruger sistant was twlce wounded, he himself arrived, accompanied by M. Aubert and once, his spare plates were shattered, a number of prominent TransvaaIlans. but the camera was uninjured, and the He preceded the party through tlie plaie he took was subsequently the means of convicting the deserter of treason, for which he Is now serving a life sentence. HUMOR OF THE HOUR Fowl Flax. Many amusing stories are told of our colored fellow citizens of the south by the racouteurs of that section. A venerable darky was haled before a Justice of the peace and charged with gratifying his appetite for feathered denizens of a barnyard lu which be had no ownership. There were no wit nesses to the act, but the birds were missing, and feathers had been found around Uncle George's cabin. He was sharply interrogated by the magistrate in the hope that he would get entan gled in the questioning and the truth come out. Finally he was asked: "So you say. Uncle George, that you have not stolen any chickens?” "Yes, sail. I done stole no chickens.” "Have you stolen any geese?” “No, sah.” "No turkeys?” "No. sab." After a brief pause the suspected culprit was discharged with a sharp admonition. As he passed out he stop ped before the Justice, hat lu hand, bls Ivories disclosed by a broad grin, and said: “Fo’ de Lawd, squire. If you’d said ‘ducks,’ you'd ’a’ had me!”—Lippin cott’s. Duplicity. "I don’t understand liow Ethel Moth wing ever got engaged to such a steady, matter of fact young man,” said one girl. “It was easily managed,” answered the other. “She got a cookbook, took the covers off and Inserted the paper back novel she happened to be reading. The silly fellow thought she was going to make a wonderful housewife.”— Washington Star. Why They Don't Marry. Miss Leftover—Y’ou are a woman hater. I hear. Mr. Sllmpurse—Thnt is a mistake. I merely cannot afford to marry. Miss Leftover—Cannot you support a wife? Mr. Sllmpurse—Oh, yes, I could sup port a wife easy enough, but I haven’t income enough to support the two or three other women she would need to wait on her!—New York Weekly. How It Seemed to Tommy. Great Wealth In Isle of Pines. Speaking of Cuba's resources. Gov ernor General Wood says: “Even the little Isle of Pines holds millions of dollars of undeveloped wealth In the way of marble and iron. Its timber lias been pretty well cut, merely be cause Its small size and the fact that vessels could easily reach It made transportation comparatively easy. Be tween the Isle of Pines and the main land are famous sponge fisheries, nnd on the island In many places are fine mineral springs, which, when Investi gateti, will doubtless prove to be of great medicinal value. This makes It possible that the Island will some day become an Importaut health resort, al though that, of course. Is still a long way off.” “OKACtOUs! WHAT HAVE I DONE?” passage that led to the ballroom and himself, wit limit ceremony, opened the door. As lie did so lie turned very red, and. stammering, “Please excuse me,” hastily closed the door again. Then, turning to ills astonished escort, lie ex claimed. with great embarrassment: "Gracious! What have I done? The ladies are not yet dressed!” There was a great scurrylug In all directions to secure fichus and high necked attire for the ladles, and Oom Pnal passed the evening apologizing for Ills supposed Inopportune advent. Will Not Go to Mexico. “Standing Yellow, a war chief of the Cheyenne Indians, has recently return ed from a trip to old Mexico,” says tlie Los Angeles Times, “where be was sent as a delegate for n number of tribes In Oklahoma, aggregating about 10,000 Indians. The purpose of tlie old chief’s trip was to select n new home for the reservation Indians, who had always considered Mexico nothing short of another happy hunting ground, where they could all live a life of pros perity nnd ease, but the report of the old chief has upset the fancy notion these Indians held about Mexico and Edward Did Not Count. In England unattached good stories will lie the means of retaining the 10,- are generally, by a kind of prescriptive 000 redskins In this country until they right, tlie property of the London cab die.” by. From him directly comes a recent The Spirit of Micawber. anecdote of the king’s salad days. The Can It be possible, as a wild rumor cabby tells that two distinguished from Constantinople hints, that Tur strangers hailed him at Westminster key has ordered 300 pieces of artillery palace nnd hade him drive at top speed in Germany? would be rash to Marlborough House. After a moment enough In these Who days to sell tlie Sick of recollection lie recognized the Prince Man guns on credit? possible of Wales ami his friend, tlie king of cliance would there be What of collecting Belgium. An awkward attempt at an the debt? And where can the sublime obeisance from the box was promptly porte get money to pay cash for can rebuked, nnd the cabby settled down non? The spirit of Micawber broods to his business of driving ills royal over the Ylldiz kiosk, and the Ottoman guests ns fast ns n handsome may go In government seems to be continually Loudon streets. They stopped nt Marl waiting for something to turn up.— borough House, and It was time to pay. New York Tribune. •. “Well driven, cabby.” said the prince. “What do I owe you?” The cabby: Bonun to Workmen. “Please, sir, I’ve already 'ad a sover A bonus system has been established eign and a 'arf in the ’nnsom,” bowing by the Westinghouse Electric and to the prince aud the king of Belgium. Manufacturing company at its plant In "Here’s for the king of Belgium, then, tt ’ East Pittsburg. The bonus Is based said the prince, handing the driver a on the net earnings of the company, V»vereign. “I don't count, you know.” tnd its distribution is among the as sistant subforemen. It Is paid quar Wn at tlie Wrddlna. terly In addition to their salaries. If Wu Ting Fung, who was a guest at the system Is a success, it will be ex ii recent wedding In Washington, was tended by the company to take in all approached after the ceremony by the skilled workmen of the plant. best man and Jocularly asked to go over to the young couple and pronounce Well Bred. a Chinese parental blessing. The oblig Mrs. —Are those people ing Wu Immediately complied. Plac who have Hatterson moved uext door to you well ing his bauds on the blushing bride bred ? and shaking groom, he said: Mrs. Callerson—Oh, yes. They an "May every new year bless you with all my questions and never a man child offspring until they shall swered number twenty-five in all. May these asked me one about myself.—Life. twenty-five man children offspring pre A Little Leartiln*. sent you with twenty-five times twen Ernestine had learned tlie word “rat” ty-five grandchildren, and may these st school. The teacher pointed to the grandchildren”— It Is said that the little bride grew word “nt” and asked her what It was. hysterical about this time, and the She said, “It Is some part of a rat, but best man made another request to Wu I don’t know which part It I*”— Youth's Companion_______ —this time to desist. The Handicap of a Name. Had Heard Them All. Mrs. Hennypeck (In the midst of ber readlngl—Here is an item which says that there are more than 250,000 words In the English language Mr. Hennypeck —Yes. my denr; so I’ve beard.—Puck The children of different countries have different tastes, but tin swords are wanted all over the .world. Poppers—No: we haven't christened the baby yet. My wife wants to give him a fancy name out of a book, but I won’t have It. Ascum—Why not? Poppers—Been use then he’d grow up to tie homely ns blue mud and tough ns nails. I never knew it to fall — Phils delphla Press. This Is the size Tommy's catapult seemed to Tommy when he was en deavoring to hide ft from the eagle eye of the old gentleman whom he had hit with a stone from It on the head. Have you ever had that feeling when you were a boy? In the Fatare. “Do yez keep an assistant to the cook ?” “Yes.” "And do be the assistant hnve a helper?” “She has.” “And have yez a kitchen maid to clane up after the assistant’s helper?” “We have.” “Well, I’ll give yez a week’s trial.”— Brooklyn Life. Learning the Boalneta. Strong—I was sorry to bear that you bad lost your Job. What are you doing now? Weeks—Taking lessons in wood carv ing. Strong—Have you a position In view after learning the art? Weeks—Yes. My wife Is going to open a boarding bouse.—Chicago News. Saw Nothin* Supernatural In It. Sunday School Teacher — You say De lilah cut Samson's hair and took away bls strength. Can you think of any reason why it should have had that effect? Tommy Tucker—Maybe be saw blm- self In the glass after she'd done it, ma’am.—Chicago Tribune. Short of Alacrity. “So you lent Harbinger the money, did you?” “Yes.” “What did be say?” “He promised to pay with alacrity.” “He did, eh? Well, let me tell you this: If there's one thing that’s scarcer with him than money, It’s alacrity.” Boston Flats. Ilaney—Miss Stetsan says she doesn’t like her surroundings where she Is liv ing now. There nre too many flats there, she says. Ripley—Il'm! Does she refer to the inhabitants or only to the apartment houses?—Boston Transcript. Bobby’« Locle. Schoolteacher — Now, Bobby, spell needle. Bobby—N-e-l-d-l-e, needle. Teacher—Wrong. There’s no “I” In needle. Bobby—Well, 'tnln't a good needle then. Naturally Slow. “You're not looking well,” said the hardware clerk to bls friend, the plumber. “No; I've been very sick,” replied the pipe hitter, "but I'm mending slowly.” —Chicago News. Willie'« Idea. "Isn’t It awful liow thin Mr. Henpeck Is now?” remarked Mrs. Gabble to her husband. “And lie used to be so stout.” “Perhaps," chimed In little Willie, re membering his trouble with bls bicycle tires—"perhaps his wife forgets to blow him up regular, like you said she uster.” Philadelphia Press. Hl« Sympathy Arsaaed. Doctor- Well, my good woman, what She met him at the door, all breath do you want ? less with excitement. Beggar-A quarter, doctor; give me a “John,” she cried, “baby's cut n tooth.” The Tartars owe their alphabet to the Christian missionaries known as the quarter, nnd I'll tell everybody that you “Poor little fellow!" he returned com- helped me New York Time* Nestorian*. mlseratingly. "Is it a bad cut?”
