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PEIL DENNETT'S
"HIGHBACK."
BY JOHN BOYD CLARKE.
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OTTED over the great grain
prairies of upper Minnesota
are many little communities
of unpointed plank cottages
or even of "sod" houses whose
itants possess more of the characteris
tics of the old time Yankee than the
present occupants of our New England
homesteads. And the reason for this
Is plain. These western Yankees are
lineal descendants of our best Puritan
Stock and in migrating to their prairie
homes from the rugged New England
hill farms took the peculiarities and
homely virtues of their ancestors with
them. Boston "culture” has been Al
tered over the New England farm
steads, and the old time Yankee or the
old fashioned Yankee community is an
Impossibility in the east.
But these westerners display the in
dustry and frugality of their ancestors.
They are a hardworking people whose
pleasures come laboriously. For eight
months in the year It is a tug with na
ture for the necessities ami a few of
the luxuries of life. The other four
months they are snow bound. It is in
this season, when the snow mantles
the prairies and the Ice king fetters
the water courses, however, that the
Minnesota boys and girls find most of
their pleasures.
It Is in winter that "school keeps,”
ami some of the pupils are well grown
youths and maidens. There is little
time for education during the rest of
the year, and the ambitious are not
ashamed to Hhow tlieir anxiety for
"book learning.” The schoolhouse, usu
ally in the center of the widely scat
tered community. Is the headquarters
for all Junketings and frolics. If the
schoolmaster happens to be musically
inclined, so much the better. There is
at once a singing school established
for one evening in the week.
Several years ago In a community of
this kind known as Sassafras Bottoms
the young people formed a singing club
which met at the schoolhouse on Fri
day evenings. The people of the Bot
toms made up a typical Mlnnesotiau
community—there were none very rich
and few very poor. The young people
had all met each other in the common
school, that great leveler of class dis
tinction, and there were few cliques.
There was one family, a recent ac
quisition to the Bottoms, which was
rather an exception to this, however.
They had lived some years down St.
Paul way in a much more thickly set
tled part of the state and were inclined
to look down a little upon their new
neighbors. Especially was this true of
the son and daughter. Iliram Ball was
a little spick and span fellow, with
dark complexion and eyes and hair as
black as coal. lie was very gallant
with the ladies and was Inclined to
snub somcof the boys in n way which
they could not resent excepting in
their hearts. His sister Mira was a
pretty little brunette, but she, like her
brother, had such an exalted opinion
of her own importance that she was
not very popular. In fact, the coming
of the Balls to Sassafras Bottoms was
the sowing of discord in the social life
of the community.
The winter of which 1 write began
with a good fall of snow the day be
fore Thanksgiving, and at once the
boys got out their sleighs and planned
to take the girls to ride. There were
all sorts and conditions of sleighs,
j
from tlie wood sled with a carriage
| seat altixed and the ordinary “pung" to
Phil Dennett’s old fashioned "high-
back." Phil Dennett was the acknowl
edged leader among the young fellows
je Bottoms, and It was considered
^vLeuething of an honor among the girls
to be Invited to share his sleigh to and
from singing school. The old highback,
a huge box affair which lmd often held
a merry party of six quite comfortably,
was an institution In the Dennett fam
ily. It had tielonged to Phil’s great-
uncle, and Pltll patched and puinted It
every fall with a sort of veneration.
Phil was a merry, good tempered fel
low, and, as I have hinted, the girls of
his acquaintance were glad to go
sleighing with him. But for two or
three winters past there had been few
er frolics In the old highback. Phil had
seemed to prefer taking one young
lady at a time, and that fortunate per
son was always the same—the doctor’s
daughter. Myrtle Iiemp. Other girls
who may have secretly “set tlieir caps"
at the big, good natured young farmer
had to turn their eyes elsewhere per
force.
Hiram Ball happened to pass the
Dennett place the morning after the
first snowfall and saw Phil’s box sleigh
In the yard.
“Hello, Dennett!” he exclaimed.
“Where’d you get that ark?”
“Don’t you like ’be looks of it?”
queried Phil coolly.
“It looks like a relic of the mound
builders,” said Hl, with a laugh.
“Don’t s’pose your sister would care
to go sleighing with me, eh?” respond
ed Phil. *
"Well, hardly—In that thing.”
“All right; I shan't ask her, then.”
“Say, you don't really mean to say
that you'd ask a girl to go to ride with
you In that?” demanded III confldeti
tlally.
Phil looked at 1dm calmly, but with
u spark of fire in his eye. “If you wait
till Friday night, you'll see the nicest
girl In these bottoms riding In It." lie
said. "Myrtle Kemp, I mean.”
The shot told, for It was nn open se
cret that Phil was not the only fellow
who worshiped at the shrine of the
doctor’s daughter.
Myrtle Kemp was almost the only
girl In the neighborhood whom Miss
Ball put herself out to become frlcndlr
with, and It was whispered that that
was entirely for her brother's Bak-'.
Most of the young men of the Bottoms
had long since decided that l'bll had
outclassed them In Myrtle's favor, but
Hlratn Ball was bound by no such be
lief. In truth, although Phil had made
up his mind regarding Myrtle, he was
not nt all sure that she had made up
her tnlnd regarding him. and the poor
fellow Aid not dare risk coming to the
issue with the doctor’s daughter.
Most of the boys were too busy mak
ing nil secure almut the farmsteads foi
the winter (that first fall of snow lmd
come a little unexpectedly! to do iffueli
D
sleighing previous to tl.e mi ¡Il of the
siuging club. Ph heavy wagons and
wood sleds bad by that time beaten a
very fair path in the snow. Phil hud
not seen Myrtle, but It was quite un
derstood between them that he was al
ways to stop for her ou his way to the
schoolhouse. The day before, Thurs
day, somebody told him in the store
that III Ball laid got a new sleigh.
“It's come up on the last trip of the
river steamer -come 'way from St.
Paul,” said Ids informant. “An they
say It’s a hummer. All red an yaller
an silver bells on to the shafts. He’ll
Inhab
cut some
of you l>oys out with the gals
this winter.”
I'ldl scarcely thought this probable,
however. Hi was most unpopular with
the boys and was hardly liked by the
girls despite Ids gallantry. But Phil
had yet to learn that the glitter of gilt
Is often mistaken for the gleam of pure
gold.
He harnessed his best horse into the
box sleigh at the usual time and set
out for the doctor’s house. Far up the
road, slewing out of a side lane which
led to the Ball farm, there was a flash
of red and yellow. It was Hiram’s new
sleigh, and behind Hiram’s pacer It
quickly disappeared from Phil’s sight.
He jogged along moderately. There
was plenty of time before the singing
school began.
When he reached the doctor’s front
gate, he noticed that a sleigh had stop
ped there before him, for he could see
the tracks, but he still had no sus
picion of the disappointment which
awaited him.
The Jolly little doctor met him at the
porch door.
“You’re too late. Phil!” he exclaim
ed. laughing In his usual boisterous
manner. "M.vrt’s gone."
"Iley!” drawled the astonished Phil.
“She ain’t gone alone?"
"Bless you. no!” cried the doctor.
“Hiram Ball Just came in his new
sleigh and took her. I tell you what,
Phil. Ill's going to cut all you boys out
witli that new cutter of his.”
Phil climbed back into the old high-
back and drove away without a word.
He was dazed and bitterly disappoint
ed. He was half minded to turn back
"you’re too late, Phil!" he exclaimed.
''Myrt's yone."
and not go to the schoolhouse at all.
But then, pride coming to his rescue,
he would not do that. He thought once
of going around by some other girl's
house and "spitelug” Myrtle in that
way. But Phil was fli'st of all Just.
There might be a mistake.
Myrtle
might have thought be was not com
ing. Perhaps she hail been told he was
not. lie believed III thoroughly un
scrupulous. So he drove on alone to
the schoolhouse and hitched Black Bob
to the rail beside Hi's handsome new
turnout. It was a pretty cutter—rath
er too light for country travel—and he
could scarcely blame any girl for want
ing to ride in it.
The other fellows had gathered
around and "thought” many things
when Phil drove up alone, but nobody
cared to chaff the big fellow. A mas
tiff Is usually good natured, but there
are some liberties that even a mastiff
will not allow.
The boys and girls seldom sat with
each other—unless it was a well under
stood fact that they were engaged —
and Myrtle was In the midst of a bevy
of chattering friends when Phil enter
ed. She seemed to talk all the faster
as he appeared, and an unmlstakab'-»
blush arose to her cheek. Secretly th»
doctor's daughter knew she had trea‘-
ed her old friend meanly.
Phil calmly took his Heat, but before
the evening was over he found an op
portunity to speak n moment with
Myrtle in private.
“Will you ride home with me. Myr
tle?” he asked.
“Oil, I must go back with Mr. Ball,”
she said nervously.
“I have prom
ised.”
"You knew I was comlug for you,"
he said quietly. “Will you go back
with me?”
“I'll be glad to come with you next
week, Phil.” she said.
“I don’t want you next week," he
said, flashing fire. “I want you to
night."
"Very well. If „oil don’t want mo
next week, you are not obliged to have
me," responded Miss Myrtle, with her
head up.
The red and yellow cutter stopped at
the doctor’s gate the next Friday night
Phil’s highback went around by the
other road. There wns nothing more
said by either; neither could their
friends pump anything regarding the
estrangement out of them. And Hiram
Ball, wisely, scaled his own lips also.
Phil did not miss a session of the
singing dull, lie seldom called for or
drove any of the girls home. If he
did, It was always somebody who oth
erwise would linve been neglected. He
told himself that Myrtle should see he
was no weathercock. And, In truth.
If lie could not have the girl of his
choice he wanted none at all.
The winter drew toward spring.
There had been a thaw In Februar”
which nlmost spoiled the sleighing, but
wlieu It grew cold again the hard pack
ed snow froze solid, and the runners
fairly hummed over the roads. The
wiseacres, too, declared that the win
ter was by no means over. There was
a big storm due, nnd the longer ft de
layed the more severe It would prove
wlicn It finally came.
One Friday late In the month the
snowbanks began to pile up around
the horizon, nnd the farmers hastened
to get their sheep Into the folds and
make all secure for the night. There
wns little wind, however, and the
storm grew slowly
Phil was late nt
tlie siuging • lub that ulglit. U was
well under way when lie entered, and
as he came In lie brought with film a
sudden cold blast of wind. 'Ibe tlrst
flakes of the comlug storm sparkled on
his bearskiu coat.
"You had better close early, Mr. Em
ery.” lie whispered to the master as
he passed to a seat. "There 1» going
to be a heavy gale.”
Hut it is hard to break up a merry
party of young people. The fine snow
sifted dowu about the schoolhouse and
packed bard over the door stone. Had
they been without they would have
heard now and then the snapping of
the overladen branches of the forest
trees behind the building. Tlie school
house stood upon the verge of a wood.
By the time the sesslou broke up
the wind had risen and was moaning
angrily through the forest. It swept
the snow fiercely into their faces as
they breasted It too. It was astonish
ing how much had already fallen.
Everybody but Phil and the^iaster
nurrled to get away. The lattffr lived
at tlie nearest farmhouse - almost with
in stone's throw of the school—and
Pldl had i> question or two In algebra
lie wanted explained.
Although the
young farmer did not attend the regu
lar sessions of the school, he neverthe
less spent his evenings at home iu
studying such books ns he had pre
viously had no opportunity of dipping
Into.
"Come, Phil, you'd best burry along
yourself,” said Mr. Emery, going to the
door and receiving the full strength of
tlie gale in ids face. “Why, it’s a bliz
zard!”
"I’ll see you home first,” said Phil,
laughing. “Black Bob Is the Vest horse
In a storm In the Bottoms. 1 shall get
home all right.”
Thev dug out the old box sleigh aud
backed tlie big black out of tlie horse
shed. The others were already out of
sight and hearing. l’bll aud the mas
ter tumbled Into the sleigh, and Black
Bob quickly drew them through tlie
fast drifting snow to the master’s
a I >ode.
“You’d better spend the night here.
Phil,” said Mr. Emery.
“Nonsense!” responded tlie young fel
low, with a laugh.
“Well, you’ve a good horse and Just
tlie sort of n sleigh for the storm. The
wind will lie behind you most of the
way too. That light cutter of Ball’s
will fare hard tonight."
The teacher’s last sentence repeated
Itself over and over in Phil's mind as
lie drove toward home. Perhaps that
was why he turned Into the road which
passed the doctor’s house Instead of
taking the more direct route home.
Black Bob breasted the snow nobly
and responded to Phil’s verbal encour
agement without his recourse to the
whip. and he wns almost past the doc
tor’s before lie knew It. He could not
see the house the driving snow hid
that—but he recognized the big black
gum In tlie fence corner. HI and Myr
tle must have got along liefore. At
least lie hail not passed them on the
road.
“Get up. old boy!" said Phil. "They’ll
keep 1dm all night, so lie’s In no dan
ger. If he Is, It Isn’t any of our busi
ness.”
Fifteen minutes later Black Bob sud
denly stopped of his own accord.
“Well, what's up now?" demanded
Pldl In wonder. The old farm horse
whinnied lot; illy, nnd borne to Phil's
ears in reply faintly yet certainly wns
the whinny of another horse.
"By George. It's a horse!” cried Pldl.
He stood up and listened. The whinny
was repeated, and added to it were the
tones of n limnn:. voice
"It’s somebody off the fond,” thought
Phi). “Ami dollars to doughnuts It's
that fool. Bnll!"
But ns much ns he hated Hiram he
could scarcely leave him unassisted In
such a storm as this. The road rati
through nn v/’fenced prairie. It wns
very easy indeed to get off the track.
Phil pulled Blnck Bob out of the road
nml urged him through the drifts In
tlie direction of tlie cries of distress.
The snow swirled about them in a
mighty shroud.
He recognized the
risk lie tool In leaving the trail, but
what else could lie do?
He shouted ns Blnck Bob pressed on.
but tlie voices In front seemed to re
cede. It wns ten minutes or more ere
lie came In sight of n mistily outlined
object in tlie snow—a horse nnd cutter
hnlf burled In the drifts.
Pldl burs' out nt once. "What the
dickens did you want to run away
from me for?” he yelled. “Hey there!
Do you hear me. Ball? Can you turn
your horse around?”
p.ut ft wns not Hi’s voice that re
plied. Instead somebody cried, and In
a voice of nlmost rapture:
"Thank (HI it Is Pldl!”
Phil was ou! of the sleigh nnd had
struggled through (he snow to the cut
ter in an Instant. "In heaven’s name,
how came you here, Myrtle?” be gasp
ed Hiram was huddled upon the seat
by the girl's side, speechless from cold
nnd fright.
"Ob, Pldl,” she cried, “is it really
you? Cnn vou save us? We went by
the house, 1 guess; It stormed so we
did not know it."
"1 reckon you did go by the house!”
exclaimed Phil. “And you’re a long
wny off the road now. I've been fol
lowing you for 15 minutes. Black Bob
heard your horse squealing or I should
have passed right by without being
nny the wiser.”
"What shall we do?” demanded the
girl. “We can’t turn this sleigh nround.
Tlie horse I almost played out.”
"What’s the mntter with him?” ask
rd Pldl. pointing to the silent Hl.
"He’s hnlf frozen.”
"And lie's got more than half of the
robes, too!" said Phil in disgust.
"He needs them more than I do,”
n|M)loglzed Myrtle. "You won’t leave
him here to freeze?" she ndded. In sud
den terror.
“That's just like a woman when she
ioves a man." thonght poor Phil. “Al
Mays thinks of him first.” Aloud lie
said: "We’re none of us going to freeze
If I can help It. Sit where you are until
I unhitch your horse. We might as
well gij^e him a chance for his life.”
When lie began to do (Vis, however,
Hiram aroused himself.
“Wbat are you doing. Dennett?” he
cried. “If you let the horse loose, we’re
lost!” He seized the whip and tried to
reach Phil with It. The horse tiegan to
plunge.
Phi) sprang forward and caught the
whip from the other’s Lnnd. “Keep
quiet,” be said sternly, "or I'll warm
you with this lash uivself.’
lliintn i ii l a. k aud >w.....
Myith
shiaii1 i .
tn.iu him. Iml Phil did.
uot »,, I,,.|- He had turned bls alien
tiou to ili<- restive horse again and soon
hail him free.
"I’m afraid," be said gravely, "that
we cannot get out of here till It stops
allowing, i am going to uubitcb Black
Bo!>. ami we will all come back luto
my sleigh."
"I'm going to stay here," growled
Hiram.
"We'll do whatever you say. Phil,”
declared Myrtle.
Phil loosened Black Bob from the
shafts, ami the two horses plunged
away into Hie storm. Then, after vast
labor, lie partially cleared away a suow
bank and turned the huge, old fashion
ed highback over. It would have shel
tered half a dozen quite comfortably.
"<'ome back here now,” he shouted
lo tlie couple half buried In the smaller
sleigh.
l ite girl struggled out, but Hiram re
fused to move. "Stay there, then, and
be a derned fool!” l’bll exclaimed
wratlifully, and he half carried Myrtle
to the overhanging sleigh and placed
her among the warm robes.
"You will uot let him stay there to
freeze to death,” she whispered plead
ingly. “Make him come.”
"All right.” responded I’ldl bitterly
and went back and drove Hiram out of
the cutter, secured all the robes and
made him Join Myrtle under the high
back. Then the brave fellow crawled
in himself and let the box sleigh settle
dowu about them. In a few minutes
they were burled by the driving snow.
“We must get Myrtle between us,”
said Phil. “She will be warmer there.
If tills old blizzard doesn’t last too
long, somebody will be along to dig us
out tomorrow.”
Ball yielded the warmer position to
the girl witli a very ill grace. The
common metal underneath the gilt was
showing very plainly. Myrtle turned
her back upon him completely. She
and Phil spoke together only In whis
pers.
“Dear Phil,” she said, “we should
have died had you not come.”
“Humph! The old highback Is good
for something nt a pinch!” remarked
Phil, with pardonable maliciousness.
"And old friends prove the most
faitliful In tlie end.” whispered tlie doc
tor's daughter.
Phil simply grunted. But when, a
moment later, be found she was softly
crying, with her nose buried In the
collar of Ids bearskiu coat, he threw
injured pride to tlie winds and Just
put Ills arms around her. What be
said and wbat she said after that was
none of Iliram Ball’s business, nor Is
It any of yours, Inquisitive reader.
In tlie morning, when the storm had
ceased, a searching party discovered
the horses tu a little grove off tlie trail,
where they bad taken shelter, and soon
afterward found the overturned sleigh
aud the three castaways all warm and
secure.
Hiram Ball left his useless
cutter where It lay, but Phil dug out
the old highback and drove Myrtie
home in It. nnd when tlie sleighlug
was good the next winter he brought
the doctor's daughter to siuging school
as Ills wife.
Death Gulch.
A ravfne In the northeast corner of
Yellowstone National park, in Wyo
ming, is known by those living near by
ns Death gulch. Grewsome as Is the
name. It Is exceedingly appropriate. It
Is n V Bbaped trench cut in tlie moun
tainside and begins about 250 feet
above Cache creek.
Apparently it
forms a natural shelter for the beasts
of tlie forest, as food, water and shelter
are there, but entrance to the gulch
means death to any animal, for the
poisonous vapors that rise out of the
ravine are more deadly than tlie bullets
of the huntsmen.
For ages this death trap In the Rocky
mountains bus probably been luring the
inhabitants of the forest to tbelr doom.
With the rains of spring the bones of
the dead of the preceding year are car
ried down to the creek and the gulch
cleared for the death harvest of the
Summer and winter.
The geologists say that the lavas
which fill the an’eient basin of the park
at this place rest upon the flanks of
mountains formed of fragmentary vol
canic ejects. Gaseous emauations are
given out in great volume. These come,
the scientists say, from deposits of al
tered and crystalline travertine mixed
with pools in the creek. Above these
deposits the creek cuts Into a bank of
sulphur. In the bottom of the gully Is
a small stream sour with sulphuric
acid.
No wonder the |>oor animals seeking
shelter In the gulch meet death there.
( ITIb S Obb PRANKS.
WHY SOME
WOMEN FELL IN LOVE
WITH THEIH HUSBANDS
The Strike...
Peculiar Iteaaoa* Thai hi Tliue. In»
fluence the Fair Sei In Muller, ut
the Heart—The Woman Who Won
aud Wedded a Woman llaler.
If there Is one question more than
another to which it is difficult to get or
give a satisfactory answer it Is surely
this: "Why did you fall in love with
your husband?” In 1!) cases out of 20
woman would probably confess candid
ly that she did not know or else she
would declare conclusively that she
did because she did, aud that ought to
end the matter.
In the rare cases where tlie lady con
descends to declare her reason the an
swers are both interesting and In
structive.
“Whatever made you marry tlie pris
oner?" a London magistrate asked a
woman whose face bore “atriking” evi
dence of her husband's affection. "Be
cause lie punched all tlie other fellows’
heads,” she answered, "and nobody
else dared make love to me.”
Another good lady confessed that she
fell In love with her husband because
be was the “only man who ever dared
to snub her.” While other men were
stumbling over each other to pay her
court aud attention, lie always treated
tier with absolute Indifference and even
rudeness.
Tlie consequence was that she de
termined to bring him to her feet and
bis knees. She succeeded, but lost her
heart in the attempt.
"I fell in love with my husband,”
one lady recently declared, "because
he was the only man about whom no
one was ever heard to say an unkind
word. Even the women, although lie
paid them no special attention, were
agreed that he was ‘a darliug;’ and, al
though he was plain, almost to ugli
ness, and old enough almost to be my
father, I loved him and determined to
marry him long before he had any
buc I i thought of me.”
Not loug ago a Yorkshire lady ol
wealth and beauty shocked her friends
by marrying a poor cripple. It had
come to her ears that be had long lov
ed her in silence and had counted each
da.v happy If lie only caught a distant
glimpse of her. She discovered that
be was a devoted son and brother and
a mau of unusual gifts and culture for
bls humble position, and, moved by
one of those sudden, generous Im
pulses to which some women are lia
ble, she sought an Interview with him,
told him that she bad learned his se
cret and offered him her hand and for
tune. This may appear a strange and
Improbable thing, but thousands know
that It Is literally true.
Another lady whose marriage result
ed from a similar Impulse gives this
explanation of it. Among the friends
of her family was an old bachelor with
n reputation for crustiness who bad
known her from a child and bad often
uursed her in early days. To her he
bad always been gentle and kind, aud
she had loved him "In a way" as long
as she could remember.
One day she said, “Why have you
never married. Mr. ----- ?”
"Marry, my dear?
Why, no one
would ever marry a grumpy old man
like me!”
“Of epurse they would!” she answer
ed indignantly. "Why, 1 would marry
you myself!”
“Thank you, my dear!” came the un
expected answer. “Then we’ll consider
the mntter ended."
In spite of her surprise and misgiv
ings the girl loyally kept her promise,
aud she Ims never had reason to regret
her "moment’s Indiscretion."
A lady friend of the writer married
her husband for the very Illogical rea
son that lie was an avowed woman
hater. He made no secret of his aver
sion to tlie fair sex and declared It so
constantly that, as she says, "I vowed
I would convert him and make him
change his mind, at least so far as one
of my sex wns concerned.” He was
not difficult to convert, for within 12
months he had forsworn his creed so
far as to conduct one of the “bated
sex" to tlie altar, nnd now he declares
that he "loves them all.”—Tit-Bits.
Tlie Home of Eclioe«.
Many valleys described In guide
books as "whispering valleys" are fa
vorite resorts for tourists In all parts
of the world. Few, however, exceed In
wonder a valley nt Stansfield In Es
sex. England. The rector of this par
ish In giving a careful account of Ills
own experiences states that Ills house
stands on a hill 288 feet above sea
level, rising In rear to 300 feet, while
A Curioas Trap.
A curious labyrinth In which ele in front the ground slopes away to a
phants are captured alive Is to be seen stream 100 feet below and again rises
near Ayutliia. formerly the capital of 180 feet on the opposite side. From
Slam. The labyrinth is formed of a the rectory the bells of 1-1 or 15 vil
double row of Immense tree trunks set lages may be distinguished, while
firmly in the ground, the space between across the valley footsteps and voices
In conversational tone may be beard
them gradually narrowing.
Where It begins, nt the edge of tlie at half a mile.
forest, the opening of the labyrinth Is
Tlie t,nruii|nHw e.
more than a mile wide, but as It ap
To the average resident of the tem
proaches Ayutliia It becomes so nar perate zones an earthquake Is a rare
row that the elephants ennnot turn and terrible event, creating more con
around.
sternation than nny other visitation of
Suspecting no danger the wild ele nature. In the tropics, however, par-
phant enters the broad opening at the tlcularly in Central America, It Is won
forest end, lured on by a tame elephant. derful how easily the residents be
The gradual narrowing of the bound come accustomed to these shocks,
aries is net observed until the ele which do not come, however, wholly
phant finds himself In close quarter*. without wanting.
Having reached the end of the laby
You nn' sitting on a piazza on a hot
rinth, the tnme elephant Is allowed to afternoon chatting with your friends
pass through a gate, while men lying win n suddenly the sky seems to grow
In Walt slip shackles over the feet of I !z.i ami the erows stop cawing There
the captives The sport Is n dangerous Is tt general rush. nnd. though you may
one, for the enraged elephants some tot know wli.it is tlie matter, you can
times crush the hunters under their not help feeling uneasy.
feet
The old natives say. "We're going to
have a little shake,” and then the
On n lim.lnn Hnllwny Train.
house begins to rock, the tumblers fall
Toilet arrangements such as satisfy
off tlie table, you feel deathly sick at
the Russian are nt his disposal in first
the stomach, nnd the thing Is all over.
and second class trains, but the third
The sky clears, the crows begin their
class passengers have no such luxuries.
noisy screams, nnd things are soon put
When the train halts for the breakfast
right again.
Interval, those who travel third class
I netful.
may be seen performing their nblu-
Mrs. Nosepoke—John, don’t you tldnk
tlons at the pint form tap. They fill a
can like a gardener’s watering pot, It’s about time for us to call on our
suck through the spout a mouthful of new neighbors?
Husband—Why, they only moved in
the water, spit It Into the hollowed
palms nnd then rub their faces. It Is this morning.
Mrs. Nosepoke—Oh. I know, but all
a disgusting process, performed with
out soap or towel, nnd, though ft may Ibelr stuff will tie downstairs aud I can
be amusing to tlie onlooker, It Is not lee It better -Ohio State Journal.
very cleansing to the operator. Yet
In Place.
this Is the method of ablution ndopted
"He thought the gun wasn’t loaded.”
by the poorer Russian ou his travels.—
“But It really was loaded?”
Chambers’
irnal
“After be found it out It wasn't.”
Does not and has not affected our ability to
ship goods anywhere. All orders, large or
small, are promptly filled.........................
SEPTEMBER PRICE LIST IN PREPARATION.
Sugar 1 h lower, Grtinulutcd SA.1S nnd
II num nnd Provinicnn continue firm.
Plentiful Stocks of everything.
per IOO lbs.
Smith’s Cash (Dept.) Store
No. 25 Market Street, San Francisco.
Simple and Effective» but C'o«tly.
“When 1 came to town, I noticed a
little, round swelling on my wrist.”
said a visitor from the country. "It
bothered me. and one day when I saw
a sign, ’Dr. John Doe,’ I thought I’d
go In mid have It looked at. Well, I
was shown luto n fine room, mid In a
minute a pleasaut looking man came lu.
“’Dr. Doe?’ I says and helJ up my
wrist.
" ’Ah. a weeping sinew,' says lie. ns
if lie'll been waiting years for a chance
to study a ease like mine.
"I didn’t aay anything, but kept my
wrist out with the hand hanging limp
while he took down a book from the
shelf. I expected him to turn over the
pages mid look up my trouble under
8 or W and then prescribe something.
Instead lie gave me a crack on the
wrist like a thousand of brick! It was
right on the swelling and hurt like n
cannon ball. I Jumped high In the air
mul yelled.
" 'Your weeping sinew’s gone,' says
the doctor quietly. ‘Three dollars.'
"1 wns too much surprised to say a
word, and I paid it. But no wonder
your city doctors get rich. Three dol
lars! Any blacksmith would have
done that Job for the fun of doing it.”—
New York I’ost.
fftranue
IthlinK
Places.
There are standing nt the present day
Elizabethan Imuses known to contcin
hidden chambers. Tlie very positions
of these chambers can be shown, yet
'iclr secrets have remained Inviolate
tor centuries, tlie spring that should
serve us tin1 open sesame being undis-
eovernble.
Some day tlie accidental
touch of a girl's linger may set a col
umn of stone rotating or a panel slid
ing or n door in a picture frame retreat
ing on Invisible hinges, nnd tlie secret
if any remain will lie revealed
The place of mystery In these an
cient granges Hint served ns shelter to
a friend In distress might equally prove
tlie death of an enemy of the house.
The priest's hole behind a fireplace was
nsily converted Into an oven
There
were staircases which the foot of a
friend might press in perfect security
Another, not Instructed how to trend,
sets Ids foot apparently on the same
place, tlie stair.yawns open, and nt tlie
end of tlie pit Is the water. Here Is
much romance - London Chronicle
Pipe Smoking.
There are many pipe smokers wlio do
not know how to get the best there Is
out of tlieir indulgence.
The great
point in pipe smoking is to smoke slow
ly Nervous smokers smoke too rapidly
mid burn tlieir tongues with hot smoke,
besides'falling entirely to get the full
est mid best flavor out of the tobacco.
It is all a mntter of linbit, but slow
smoking is a linbit which It is hard
for some people to acquire. In some
cases pipe smokers have trksl for years
lo check tlieir smoking speed without
success. They began too late, and the
linbit of rapid smoking Is shaken off
witli difficulty when it is once acquired.
Rapid smoking is ns bad as rapid
eating—or worse. It Is also "bad form.”
Whether It Is cigar, pipe or cigarette,
the smoking should be deliberate in or
der to get the fullest enjoyment It Is
especially so with a pipe.—New York
Press.
Hypnotic Influence.
Buyer—Look here, you! You said this
horse wns sound nnd kind nnd free
from tricks. The first day I drove hltn
he fell down a dozen times, and lie's
ns Cad today.
Dealer—Um—you’ve been wondering
If 1 cheated you, maybe?
"Yes, I have.”
“And Hie first time you drove the
boss you wondered If he hadn't some
tricks, didn't you?”
"Of course."
“Aud you kept saying to yourself,
'1 wonder If that there boss will tum
ble down,’ eh?”
“Probably.”
“And you lind your mind on It a
good deal, most like?”
“That’s true.”
“Tlint's wot’s the matter. You've
hypnotized him. Sec?”
Alphabetical Abuae.
BLfiKE,
MOFFITT
& TOWNE
♦
♦ :
♦ ♦
♦ : ♦
♦ ♦
Importers and Dealers In
Book, Naw«»
Writing and
Wrapping...
PAPERS
CARD STOCK
STRAW AND HINDERS' BOARD
fifi-57-ru-H . Flrat 8t.
T bl . maim 199. 4.3 SAN FRANCISCO
THE CIISTFBsS
I HL lj U L/ I LI I
or «ingle.ut low
1 “"
rates. Country
patronage solicited, and no pains will be spared
to make them comfortable during their visit.
mill Market st. anil 11 Ellis st.,•corner
Stockton, san Francisco.
Telephone Red 3M.
MRS. RANFT, Prop.
SAM MARTIN
For S3 vears with
C. E. Whitney A Co.
NEW COMMISSION HOUSE
MARTIN, CAMM & CO.
121-123 DavlslSt., San Franc-taco.
Ge tier til Commission and
Produce.
Specialty, Butter, Eggs and Cheese.
Your consignments solicited.
Most
Healthful Coffee
In the World.
All the world knows that coffee in
excessive use is injurious. And yet
the coffee lover cannot stand taste
less cereals. There has lo this time
Is-en no happy medium lietween.
Café Bland fills the void with the
liest elements of Isitli. It is richer
than straight coffee, and many will
not I h - easily convinced that it Is
not all coffee. But we guarantee
that Cafó Bland contains less than
fifty per cent eoll'ee, which is scien-
tilli'ally blended with nutritious
fruits and grains, thus not only
displacing over fifty per cent of the
eaffein, hut neutralizing that which
remains and still retaining the rich
cotice flavor. To those who suffer
with the heart, to dyspeptics and
to nervous people ('am Bland is
esiiecially recommended iisiihealtli-
f’ll and delicious beverage, so satls-
lying that only the member of the
family making the change in the
coflee knows there has lieeti one.
Mor«' healthful, richer and less ex
pensive than straighteoll'ee. Better
in every respect. 25 cents per th.
Your grocer will get it for you.
Ask for
Pronounced cat-fay
accent ou last syllable.
“tiroalnn Down.”
Everybody has noticed that In ex
treme old age people grow rapidly
shorter, so that a person formerly of
average height "grows dowu” Into
quite a diminutive man or woman. A
German contemporary points out that
this decrease of height begins ns early
ns the age of 35 years. At 30, we are
told, the human body has reached Its
full height, which is retained for a few
years, nfter which the “growing down”
process begins. At tlrst and for many
years the process Is so slow as to be
almost Imperceptible, but at the age of
about GO It begins to be noticeable, and
after 70, even though a veteran does
not stoop nt ail, the fact that be Is
“growing down” becomes apparent to
one and all.
A Moody Retort.
A religious enthusiast, whose hobby
was antl-Catbolicism, went to the great
evangelist one day and put the direct
question: “Mr. Moody, do you ever in
tend to do any preaching against the
Catholics?”
"Yes, I may some time.”
“When will that be?”
“After the Protestants are con
verted.”
The prosecuting attorney In a Inw-
suit had waxed especially Indignant at
the defendant, whom lie characterized
as nn “abandoned, baneful, cynical,
diabolic, execrable, felonious, greedy,
hateful, Irresponsible. Jaundiced, knav
One Way of Tellln«.
ish, lazy, meddlesome, noxious, outra
Curley—You see tlint fellow loafing
geous ami profligate rowdy.”
over there? He used to go to the same
"The learned counsel on the other
college that I did. I wonder If he re
side.” said the attorney for the defend
members me?
ant when he rose to reply, "should
Burleigh—Ask hhn for the loan of $5.
have put bls adjectives 'll a hat and
Curley—What for?
shaken them up a little before using.
Burleigh—If he remembers you. you
You must have noticed, gentlemen of
won’t get it—Judge.
the Jury, that they were in regular al
Industrious Locust».
phabetical order. This shows that he
ne was au old sailor and full of
selected them from a dictionary, be
ginning with ’a.’ He stopped at ’p,’ j yarns nbout the good old times of sail
“I remember once,” he
but In Ids manner of rejiroduclng them ing ships.
he has given us the ’cue’ as to how he said, “while we were cruising round
the Pacific we were surrounded by a
got them."
This turned the laugh against the j swarm of locusts, which ate every
I Inch of our sails. When we got into
other lawyer, and be lost the case.
I Ibe next port. I’m blowcd If we didn't
[ see the same locusts and every ona
Arundel Caatle.
Tlie most singlar circumstance about with a pair of canvas trousers.”
Arundel castle Is that Its owner, by
Different From the Rent.
mere right of ownership. Is Earl of
They are talking about bow they
Arundel In the peerage of England It happened to marry.
Is believed that there Is no similar ex
“1 married my wife,” said one after
ample of a peerage held on such condi tlie others had all had their say. "lie
tions. Apparently there would be no cause she was so different from any
legal obstacle, were the bouse of How woman I had ever met”
aril to fall upon evil days and the cas
“How was that?” chorused the
tie be sold to some millionaire, to pre others.
vent the millionaire taking bls seat In
“She wns Hie only woman I ever
the bouse of lords as Earl of Arundel. i met who >
Id have me.”