Bandon recorder., May 27, 1898, Image 3

MISS MADAM.
By OPIE READ.
[Copyright, 18W. by F. T. Neely.]
CHAPTER I.
An old uiun and an old woman, a
pale young fellow and a girl, sat at a
table placed upon a long veranda.
“Now I wonder who that can be?"
■aid the old man, craning his neck and
looking dowu the road. The girl and the
young fellow got up that they might ob­
tain a better view, and the woman, with
an air of keen curiosity, leaned over
the table, gazed down the road, and,
with a woman’s quickness to discover
intention, declared: “He’s goin to stop.
See, pap?” clutching the old man's
arm. “He’s goin to come in at the big
gate."
“He's not goin to do no sich of a
thing,” the man replied. “He's—hang­
ed if he ain't. Wonder who he can be.
Ridin putty good stock, anyhow."
The horseman who had thus turned a
quiet mxin hour into a speculation of
deep concern rode up to the yard fence
and, following a time set. fashion of
that part of the country, cried, “Hello!"
“Git down Mud come in,» the did
muu answered. He bad ariseA vrom the
table and was advancing to ine^t the
stranger. “Come right in, suh, and
make yo'self at home. ”
The girl vanished. The young fellow
hung about and stole an occasional peep
nt the visitor. It was evident that
strangers were rare in that neighbor­
hood.
“We liavo jest been eatin a snack,”
said the old man, when ho had shown
the stranger into the house. "Won't yon
eat a mouthful or so? Don't reckon,
however, that you will find much to
yo’ taste. ”
“Pap,” the woman suddenly inter­
posed. appt tiring in the door and wring­
ing her apron in embarrassed conscious­
ness of the temerity of thus presenting
herself, “if he’ll wait a minit, I’ll kill
a chicken and bake some biscuit, for,
goodness knows, we ain't got nuthin
that is fitteii for a body to eat. ”
“Oh, don’t let me put you to any
trouble!” the visitor protested. “I’m
sure that anything you’ve got is good
enough for me. ”
He was so uisy in manner and so
cordial of voice that the woman, yield­
ing, though reluctantly, itcould be seen,
said: “Waal, if you think you can put
up with it, you are perfectly welcome.
Pap, fetch a cheer for the gentleman."
They seated themselves at the table,
but the girl and the young fellow did
not leappear The girl, peeping from
behind the ush hopper and speaking to
the young fellow, who had taken refuge
behind a corner of the smokehouse, said:
“He looks mighty fine. Little Dave.”
"A fiddle uin't no whar to him,” the
boy answered.
"Little Dave,” the old man called,
“why don’t you and Miss Madam come
along here now and finish eatin yo’ din­
ner?”
"Don't want no mo’.”
The visitor looked up, ami the girl
and young fellow dodged out of sight.
In some parts of the country this
would have been regarded us an odd
family, but in a certain wild region of
Kentucky old man Bradshaw's “folks”
were quite conventional. The head of
the household was somewhat of a neigh-
borhoood character. He was tall and
gaunt, with a large, pioneer sort of
nose, and with an uneven, grayish
beard. He bud u backwoodsman’s ideas
of the ludicrous, that broad estimate of
fun which, when refined, but not too
much toned down, approaches the es­
tablishment of a distinctive class of
American humor, and emphasizing his
conception of the ridiculous, as though
an atonement must be offered, there was
a pathetic note somewhere in the gamut
of his voice. When a at ting num, he
had built a house on a 1. g e, m ar a
spring that gushed frent nt.
a rugged
bluff, green the year rcuud—eternity’s
moss covering the rock of ages. Here he
and his wife had spent many a year of
toil, and it was here, in an old orchard,
that they expected to be buried.
The woman, too, was, in her way, a
type. She hud two great fears—one that
she might not possibly have received
enough of the Spirit when, years ago,
she hud sprung up from the mourners’
bench and shouted in the almost fren­
zied ecstasy of her soul’s deliverance
from torment. She was supremely, she
thought divinely, huppy for months aft­
erward, but gradually she began to feur
that her conversion hud been too vio­
lent, and that satan must either have
had a hand in the work or had at least
thrown in a suggestion or tw<5. SoAie-
times her faith would be perfect, and
not a cloud could she see in her serene
sky of hope. Then she would go about
the yard, singing. Everything seemed
to inspire her, mid new songs came to
her as she stood, with her arms resting
on the fence, gazing down the lonely
road. The breeze that stirred her hair
was a whisper of love, and the sunlight
that fell in the lane was a smile of en­
couragement. Suddenly, and without a
warning gradation from this mount of
assured paradise, she would sink into
the valley of doubt. The breeze that
stirred her hair was harsh with re­
proach, and the sunlight that fell in the
Jane was a threatening flame. Then she
would hasten to the field where her hus
band was at wo-k.
“Pap, 1 jest know I ain’t elected. ”
"How do you know? You ain't seen
all the votes yet, have you?”
“For mussy sake, don’t talk that way
when a body is in sich distress. Oh, I
have done the best I can, the Lord
knows I"
“Waal, if you huve, you are all right,
I reckon. You trust in the Saviour,
don't you?”
“Oh, yes, with all my soul.”
“Waal, then, nothin can't hurt yo’
soul. Go on back to the house now and
rest easy ”
If one of these supplicating viNits
should hnpjien to be near the ntstn hour,
the old fellow would slyly hint that he
didn't feel very well either, and that a
bite to eat would help him mightily.
Mrs. Bradshaw’s other fear was that
people who visited her house might go
away and "norate it around” that they
didn't get enough to eat while there,
and she hud been known to slip out at
night and kill a chicken to keep down
the possibility of slander. Thg old man
often said that nothing on the place was
safe, not even a sitting goose, whenever
anybody chanced to “drap in. ” Once,
when she was delirious with fever, her
husband awoke at night and found thut
she was gone. He heard a chicken
squaw 1, und then he fouud her in the
henhouse, reaching up and tugging at
the feet of an old Shanghai rooster.
With regard to the comer who had so
cheerfully agreed to take pot luck, even
though he was courteous and cordial,
there arose grave suspicions, and these
fatal words, “norate it around,” e m-
ed to whisper themselves into the
woman’s mind during the meal, but
after dinner, when they sat in the "big
room," talking with pleasant freedom,
she wondered how so good natured a
man could possibly “slander a body.”
"I have had yo’boss put up and fed,"
the old man remarked when the visitor,
slightly leaning back, looked toward tho
fence. ‘ 'I didn't reckon yon wanted to
go uuj farther this evenin. ’
“No; if you don’t mind my staying
all nigl)^ I have ridden pretty hard tqg
day and am somewhat tired. ”
“You are mo’ than welcome, suh.
Let’s set!, what is yo’ name?”
"Andrews. ”
“Any kin to Pete Andrews, over in
Hackett county?"
“I think not. ”
“Waal, you needirt be ashamed to
claim kin with him, for lie's much of a
man. teen him tie a feller bigger'n
him one day at Boyd’s mill. Jest
snatched a hold of him, suh, and nach-
“P«p, I Ml i/»u It mu Liza I'crduc."
ully tied him. And eat! Let me tell you.
One time a passu! of us at a log rollin
'gunter talk about eatin, and John San­
derson, the one that married Sis Per­
due”—
“He married Liza Perdue,” Mrs.
Bradshaw mildly suggested.
"The one that married Sis Perdue,”
the old man repeated.
"Pap, I tell you it was Liza Per­
due, for I rccolleck mighty well the
day tiny was married. I was standin at
the big gate, uial hero come Snm Hnr-
giss on the old mar' that he afterward
swopped to Sol Faldiu and Towed, he
did, that Jeff Hawkins had split his
foot open with an ax and that John
Sanderson had jest married Liza Per­
due. I recoileck it jest like it was yis-
tidy. ”
“All right,” said the old man.
“Have it yo’ own way, for it don’t
make no difference nohow. What I was
goin to say is this: A passul of us
'gunter talk about eatin, und John San­
derson”—
“The one that married Liza Perdue,"
Mrs. Bradshaw observed, slightly in­
clining her head toward the visitor.
“Waal, ding it all, the one that mar­
ried Liza Ann Perdue”—
“Her it me won't Liza Ann, pap. It
wan’t nothin but Liza. You are thinkin
bout Lizzie Anu, the oue next to the
youngest. ”
The old man was silent for a few
moments, and then, stroking his beard,
said: "I wish I may die if I ever seen
the like. Ccnfound the Perdue family
anyhow ! The old man borrowed a bull
tongue plow from me once, and I wish
I may never stir agin if he didn’t swop
it for a shuck collar and a pair of
hames. But,” he added, nodding at the
visitor, “what I wanted to git at is
this: A passul of us was at a log rollin,
and the question of who could eat the
most come up, and John Sanderson
Towed in a sort of offhand way that he
did reckon he could j^it mo’ roasted
goose eggs when he was right at himself
than any man he ever seen. Now this
was a leetle grain mo’ than Pete An­
drews could stand, belli a high strung
sort of feller, and he spit his tobneker
out of his mouth, he did, and says, ’Are
you right at yo’self today?’ And then
John Sanderson sort of felt of himself
and studied awhile and 'lowed that he
reckoned he was. ‘Well, then,’ said
Pete, ‘about how many do you think
you can chamber?’ John studied awhile
and Towed that he didn't know exactly
how many he could chamber, but that
he would eat agin Pete and have an un­
derstandin that the one that eat the
least had to pay for all. Waal, they
pitched in, and .Sanderson swallowed
11, but Andrews he raised a great shout
of victory by swallowin 13. I tell you
he wan’t no common man even in them
days, when great men was a heap mo'
plentiful than they are now. Ho you
wan’t no kin to him?”
“No; I have no relatives in this
state. ”
"You live away oft yander soine-
whar, I reckon?”
"Yes; a long ways.”
"Don't look like you been uster doin
much work?”
"Pap,”
the woman interposed,
“don’t talk thater way. Everybody
don't have to work themselves to death
like us. ”
“Waal, 'Lizabuth. Isholy didn't mean
no harm, for I had an old uncle in
No th Klina that never done no work,
and he was a putty good sort of a fel­
low, too, I’ll tell you.”
The visitor laughed in so good na­
tured a way that the man laughed, and
TRICKS OF MANNER.
then from the cutside there came a tit­
tering that caused the old woman ro Showing Bow
Doth Breed a Habit In
hasten to the door. “Miss Madam,
a Man.
what's the matter with yon and Little "
Mannerisms,personal peculiarities
Dave out thar?” she asked. “Can't you
behave yo'selfs and not dodge about and facial tricks in those with whom
we are thrown into close relations
a-gigglin lik« a lot of geese?”
“Geese don't giggle. They squawks," affect our nerves after a time. They
came from the outside.
are like jarring notes which destroy
“Let 'em alone, ’Lizabuth,” said the
old man, smiling. “Let 'cm enjoy a melody and wear on the listener
until he can think of nothing else.
themselves while they can.”
“They are your children, I suppose,”
There is my friend Annabel, for
the visitor remarked.
instance. Annabel is one of the
“Waal—that is to say—partly,” the
old man answered. “Miss Madam isour wittiest, the most generous women
daughter—the ouly child we ever had I know. But when Annabel is angry
except Jedge, thut the guerrillas killed or hurt and does not want to say so,
durin the war—but Little Dave ain't, but does want to say something dis­
no kin to us. We took him to raise be- . agreeable about somebody, she has
fo’ Miss Madam was homed, cause he 1 a trick of running her tongue with
was a little bit of a crippletLthirg thut the rapidity of lightning back and
nobody didn’t want, but he always was forth across her lips after every
a mighty peart child, and, bless you, he
statement which she is not sure of
can do a power of good with a hoe now.
He’s crowdin 20 putty close, and Miss your accepting. I can hardly stay in
the room with her after a few mo­
Madam is goin on 17.“
“Why do you call her Miss Madam?" ments, and were I to see iter do this
“I reckon that mime do sound strange tiling without being near enough to
to folks that d< u’t understand it. and hear a word 1 should know exactly
I’ll tell you exactly how it come about: the frame of mind she was in. 1
A long time ago, when me und wife have tried to tell her how unpleasant
was niovin out here, our boss—the one
it is, but it means telling her as well
we hud—Trapped down in the road and
died. Laws amussy, how we was trou something about her mental traits,
■bled, for we didn't know what to do,* and I hardly dare to do that.
Then there is Adolphus.
Poor
not bavin but a few dimes, and we
know'll that thar wan’t no use in tryin Adolphus! He lectures just at pres­
to go on without a boss, as we couldn’t ent, and everybody flatters him, and
do nothin arter we got thar toward he has never guessed that he is not
raisin a crap. While we was standin everything that is perfect or that
thar, mournin, along come a carriage, half his audience turn away and
and right close to it come a man on a
boss. The carriage was as bright as a say: “Will nobody tell him? We
new dollar, and the man looked like a forgive him because he has some
governor. Waal, when they got up to good things to say, but we shut our
whar we was, they stopped, and the eyes while we listen!"
man asked. ‘What’s the matter with yo’
And that which Adolphus does is
boss?' ‘Nothin’s the matter with him to begin by making an exclamatory
now, suli,’ I said. ‘He might have been remark, like “Art is long !” perhaps.
powerful sick a few minits ago, but Then he pauses, scrapes bis throat
he’s dead now. ’ ‘Is that the ouly hoss
mid standing for at least 50 seconds
you’ve got?’ he asked. ‘Yes,’ said I,
‘and 1 ain’t got him now, and the Lord with indrawn lips he rolls liis eyes
only knows how I’m goin to make a about over his audience to see how
crap. ’ Jest then the sweetest face I ever his statement has been accepted.
seen—tho face of a woman—showed at
I knew a clergyman long ago who
the winder of the carriage. The dog­ never gave out his text without
wood blossoms and the redbud bloom pausing directly after to use his
had give her their color, and the ilew- handkerchief in that good old fash­
draps from the grapevines had fell in
ioned way which meant a long re­
her eyes.
When she seen my wife
the
a-standin thar a-cryin, she asked, ‘And sounding blast throughout
oh uroh.
is that really the only hoss you hail?’
Mrs. Dayton never says anything
“ ‘Yes, mam,’ my wife answered,
about domestic, political or religious
wringin her hands.
“ ‘And you say you can’t make a affairs without lifting her hands and
crap?’
wriggling her fingers before you.
“ ‘Wh can’t do nothin now that the Mr. Garrison never addresses a pret­
hoss is dead, and we mout as well die ty woman without cocking bis el­
too. ’
bows or getting a little strut in his
“Then the woman sorter leaned out
of the carriage, and, with a smile that walk. Mr. Edmunds fills out his
put mo in mind of a mornin in spring chest and straightens his shoulders
after a rain had fell the night befo', when he sees one coming to whom
said, ‘Jedge, get down and give them he must take off his hat. Old Gen­
yo’ hoss!’
eral Randolph never to the day of
“ ‘Madam,’ said he, ‘it shall be jest his deatli gave up the habit of fold-
as you say,’ and, befo’ I kuowed what nu> àiis napkin, putting it into u sii
was bein done, I was so astonished, tho
ver ring, taking a last drink of wa­
bridle rein was in my hand, my wife
was on her knees, and the carriage was ter, and then wiping his lips with
gone. We never could find out thar the napkin he had just folded.
Habits are the result of mental
names. All we knowed was Jedge and
Madam. So when our boy was horned conditions, and our responsibility
—the one that was killed—we called for our children is very great along
him Jedge, and when the little girl these lines. Lack of training al ways
come we called her Madam, but bein telle, and tho duty of the parent be­
such a little bit of a thing, and Madam comes a serious one when tho first
soundin most too big for her, we added
the Miss. ’Lizabuth, step thar to the symptoms of peculiar personal hab­
do* aml-tell the children we won't go its appear.
It is easy to correct thochild when
out to the field agin this evenin. ”
Paris and Marseilles are connected
by telegraph lines entirely under
ground. They are placed in iron
pipes and buried 4 feet beneath the
surface, with manholes 3,000 feet
apart. It cost 47,000,000 to bury the
wires.
Pages in congress must be over
the age of 12 years and under 21. In
the senate they receive$1,410 a year
and in the house $1,200.
The first cannon balls were made
of stone.
You must use two teaspoonfuls of other baking powder.
PIGEONS AS MESSENGERS.
Advantagen of Their I'se For the Rapid
Concentration of Naval Forced.
No Terror» For Geòrgie.
Next Door Neighbor—You are wel
come to all the turkey dressing you
want, Geòrgie, but aren't you afraid
you'll eat too much and 1st sick :
Visiting Boy—No'm. We're faith
cure people over at our house. I'd
like some more dressing.—Chioago
Tribune.
J. R. GATES &. CO.. Proprietors,
417 Sansomest., cor Commercial. San Francisco
Use only ¿^heap­
ing teaspoonful of
Sc billing s Best Bak­
ing Powder to a
quart of flour.
young, not by severity or by mak­
[ to be continued .]
ing it self conscious, but by making
it repeat an action quietly before
Doga at Kuights' Feet.
you without the trick of manner or
I noticed in one of tlie newspapers of voice which had marred it.—Lil­
that the king of Siam during his
lie Hamilton French in Harper's
“jubilee” visit to this country went
Bazar.
to Westminster abbey and that, see­
Enay Cure For Dyspepula.
ing there the figure of some knight
“As painful and annoying as dys­
with his dog at his feet, informed
bis suit that in England “favorite pepsia is, it may be easily and quick­
dogs were buried with their mas­ ly cured if the sufferer will only be
ters.” It was a pity no one correct­ careful in his daily diet,” writes
ed his majesty, for we may depend Mrs. S. T. Rorer in The Ladies'
upon it that our adherence to the Home Journal. “Abstain for a given
abominable custom—so common in time from all solid foods. Live for
less civilized countries, perhaps in at least one week on milk, one-quar­
Siam itself—of putting to death the ter barley water or koumiss. Then,
favorites of the dead will pass into as the stomach grows stronger, take
Siamese history as a fact. The dog puro milk, sipping it and swallow­
in question was doubtless u grey­ ing it» slowly. You may take also
the raw white of an egg shaken with
hound.
As being pre-eminently the a cup of milk, Bart below'a food,
knightly flog, it was privileged in plum porridge, a little scraped beef
life to a special place behind its liroiled and finally broiled beef, boil­
master's left hand at table and after ed rice and pulled bread. A glass of
death in effigy to a place at its mas­ cool, not iced, water should betaken
ter's feet upon the tomb. Says Colo­ the first thing in the morning. A
nel Hamilton Smith: “Houndsshap- ctqt of warm, not hot, water half an
ed like the present cannot be traced hour before breakfast. For breakfast
in the old Frankish and Anglo-Saxon three ounces of milk mixed with
manuscripts. They are all coursing one ounce of barley water. This
greyhounds, and this character is schedule should be followed every
continued, with but few exceptions, three hours throughout the entire
as the emblem of fidelity or gentil­ day for one week, taking the last
ity, usually couched on monuments glass of milk half an hour before
at the feet of knights, to the last bedtime. Koumiss may be substi­
period of the recumbent figure.” tuted for the milk or used alternate­
____
But the symbol is more farreaching ly”
than this, for tho dog on tho monti
Plain Lying.
incuts of women was the emblem of
I heard Mr. Moody say the other
affectionate fidelity to their hus­ day that a lady had come to him
bands, on the monuments of men asking how she might be delivered
of unquestioning faith in Provi­ from the habit of exaggeration to
dence.—Good Words.
which she was prone. “Call it ly­
ing, madam,” was the uncompro­
Pagiiii.
mising answer, "and deal with it
The Latin word front which pagan is as you would with any other temp
derived originally meant a fountain or
tation of the devil. "—Rev. F. B. I
spring; then the village which sprang
I
up around it, and finally the residents Meyer.
in the village. As Christianity took
strong root at first in the large centers
of population and th" worship of the
pagan deities lingered longest in the
country and among the country villages
it came to be understood that a pagan,
or villager, wits, in virtue of his resi­
dence, a worshiper of the old gods, and
thus the term acquired its present tig
niflcance.
remedy for all Throat and Lung Troubles.
Asthma, Coughs, Colds. Lu Grippe. Bronchitis
and Incipient Consumption readily yield to its
healing power. Price. 50 cents
'
I
i
[
The twenty-third volume of pro­
ceedings of tlie United States Naval
institute lias among its contents sev­
eral ably written papers on subjects
interesting to the navy. Lieutenant
E W. Eberle contributes a paper on
“Homing Pigeons as Messengers of
the Fleet,” in which he refers to the
advantages and piactical workings
of n messenger pigeon service and
points out conditions under which it
may be used with advantage to the
fleet. In liis pajier Lieutenant Eberle
says:
“From its geographical surround
ings Key West will become our most
important pigeon station on the At­
lantic, and Port Townshend, which
controls the strait of Fuca and en­
trance to Puget sound, will be the
most important on the Pacific. Port
Townshend station can control
the entire entrance to tho west­
ern possessions of Great Britain,
and this would prove of great value
in tlie event of hostilities with that
country.
“Tlie rapid concentration of naval
forces at the point of attack or the
movement of forces to intercept tlie
enemy is only made possible when
we have a system by which we can
communicate rapidly with the shore
station from long distances at sea,
aud the messenger pigeon service is
the only system by which we can
obtain such communication. This
service might be called, very appro­
priately, a ‘sea telegraph' system,
and although itH messages cannot bo
dispatched with the speed and abso
lute certainty of the telegraph yet
tho system lias tlie advantage of
foi warding its messages from any
position witbin definite limits, and
therefore it is not necessary to seek
the telegraph station in order to
send a message.
"In the event of hostilities many
more messages than those given in
the above illustrations would be
sent in order to insure the receipt of
important information, and if only
one of the many little messengers
should arrive in time to enable out-
fleet to maneuver so as to engagi
the enemy before he could inflict
appalling destruction of life aud
property upon some one of our sea
ports, then this service would prove
itself most valuable to the govern­
ment and well worth the small an­
nual sum required to maintain its
efficiency.
“It requires but one practical il­
lustration to strike home and to
open our eyes to tlie merits of this
service. Let u single human life be
saved from shipwreck in a time of
peace or let one maneuver of the en­
emy's fleet be frustrated in the
miCst of war by the timely arrival
of one of these swift winged, trusty
little curriers with its urgent mes­
sage, and all the country will ap­
plaud the result and will realize the
value of a messenger pigeon service
upon tho sens.”—Baltimore Sun.
“Bummer.”
When people are trying to be very
polite in their language, they avoid
the use of the word “bummer,"
yet it is a most respectable word
and is not slung by any menus. It
is not even an “Americanism,” but
has come to us from our English rel­
atives and is found in the English
market bylawsof two centuries ago.
In the form “bummaree” it ap-
pears ill advertisements in The Pub-
lick Intelligencer of ltlfiO.
Originally it meant n fish peddler.
You are likely to get your head bro­
ken, however, if you mention it to
nn honest American citizen of that
occupation now
The United States did not acquire
tlie word until the early fifties, when
it appeared in California.—New
York World.
Pacific
States
Type
Foundry
I ome F dlks '
IlDMf flUSCLf
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Let Californians Furnish It!
[’¡i!- o™“"
ifornia muscle a trial. We are now casting as
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the type we also make the price, and its the
lowest going. Oomplv te job and news plants
at a moment's notice. Ready prints, too. Write
us for estimates of all kinds.
Pacific States Type Foundry,
(Successors to Hawks & Shattuck)
10
San Francisco.
50H Clay St.,
BLftKE,
MOFFITT
& TOWNE
Importers and Dealers in
Book, News,
Writing
and Wrapping
CARD STOCK,
Straw and Binders' Board.
512 and 51fl Sacramento St .
San Francisco
Four Footed.
A family that hiuFuot been board­
ing for ho very long in a certain
Madison avenue house left rather
suddenly the other day. It was all
on account of a bull pup that just
previous to the departure was pur­
chased by the son and heir, but
without consulting tlie elders of the
family, lie bore it home in tri­
umph Whom should he meet upon
the threshold but the landlady. “Is
that your pupf” she asked men­
acingly. The Holland heir said that
it was. "You expect to keep it
beret” Tlie son mid lieir said flint
he di«l. The landlady planted her­
self before the door. “No four foot­
ed beast enters this house,” said
she. “Madam, you're a four footed
beast yourself, ” cried the son and
heir. The departure took place that
same evening. New York Suu.
IT’S NOT EXPENSIVE,
It's the quality thnt’s high In
TEA GARDEN DRIPS,
TOBOGGAN MAPLE SYRUP,
PELICAN LOUISIANA MOLASSES.
Foreale by first-class grocers in cans only.
. Slo ey refunded If gooffs are not satisfac­
tory. Don’t accept an Imitation. See that
the manufacturer’s name Is lithographed
on every can. P acific C oast S trcp C o .
«ó
PISOS CUR E* FOR
MHI
IONS UM
, *
PTION