A MOST REMARKABLE MEMORY. Nicholas llnffmiui Handle» 500 Hats a Day Without Malting a Mlatake, Why We Are Right-Handed. MR. AND MRS. BOWSER. Primitive man, being by nature a fighting animal, fought for the most part at first witli his great canino teeth, his nails, and his lists; till in process of timo he added to those early and nat ural weapons the further persuasions of a club or shillulah. He also fought, is Darwin lias conclusively shown, in the main for the possession of the la- lies of his kind against other members of his own sex and species. And if you fight you soon learn to protect the most exposed and vulnerable portion of your body. Or, if you dou’t, natu ral selection manages it for you by killing you off as an immediate conse quence. To tho boxer, wrestler, or hand to baud combatant tliut must vulnerable portion is undoubtedly the heart. A hard blow, well delivered on tlie left breast, will easily kill or, at any rate, <tuu eveu a strong man. Hence, from an early period men have used the right hand to fight with and have em ployed the left arm chiefly to cover tlie heart nnd to parry a blow aimed ill that specially vulnerable region. And when weapons of offeuse aud defense supersede mere fists aud teeth it is tlie right hand that grasps the spear or sword, while tlie left holds over tlie heart for defuuse tlie shield or buckler. From this simple origin, then, the whole vast difference of right and left in civilized life takes its beginning. At, first, no doubt, the superiority of the right hand was only felt in the manner of lighting. But that alone gave it a distinct pull, and paved tlie way, at last, for the supremacy else where. For when weapons came into use, the habitual employment of the right hand to grasp the spear, sword, or knife made the nerves or muscles of tlie right side far more obedieut to the control of tlie will than those of the left. The dexterity thus acquired by the right—see how the word "dexteri ty" implies this fact—made it more natural for the early hunter and ar tificer to employ the same hand pref erentially in the manufacture of hint hatchets, bows and arrows, and all the other manifold activities of savage life. It was tlie hand with wfiich he grasped liis weapon: it was therefore the band with which he chipped it. To tlie end, however, tne riglit hand re mains especially “the hand in which you hold your knife;” and that is ex actly how our owu children to this day decide the questiou which is which, when they begin to know their right hand from their left for practical pur poses. — Coruhill's Magazine. Sa»i Trial® of the Faithful Spouse Over Mr. li.*® Wardrobe. are too large, kick over a chair and de clare your desire to murder some one. If too small, kick over two chairs aud lay it to me. "7. In changing vour clotlies, get your suspenders twisted, leave your shirt bunched uu at the shoulders, nnd snap off ns many buttons as possible.” 1 had intended those signs for Mr. Bowser's eves alone, and I fully expect ed a national calamity when he came down and hade his friend good night. 1 was disappointed, however. He looked nt me benignly, walked up and down for a while and tlieu observed: "Mrs. Bowser, before we were mar ried 1 had a long talk with your mother." “Yes." "She told me that you bad never been called upon to exercise Judgment or re sponsibility, mid that 1 would tied you a very great burden." “Thanks, Mr. Bowser.” ‘But I agreed to bear with you and be patient, and so I shall. Twenty years hence you may know something about housekeeping mid a wife's duty towards her husband's wardrobe. It's a time to wait, but I will be patieut. Perhaps Ibis is my mission ou earth, mid is what the Lord wills me to do. Go ahead. Mrs. Bowser, and be Just as mean as you can, mid do everything to hurt my feelings. 1 shall do my duty and uever let the world know how 1 suffer."— De troit Free Free». The Eyes of Peruvian Mumrulee. A man came to the Inquirer office yesterday with a handful of what looked like dull reddish golden eye balls. They were of various sizes. “Do you know what these are?" said he. “You will never guess nor do I believe there are many persons in Philadelphia who can teil you. They are taken from the mummies of tho Incas of Peru. When I was stationed out there some years ago, when iu the naval service, I got a wiiolo lot of them. The mummies were thrown up aud iu »onio cases destroyed by seismio con vulsions. There are thousands of them about, pnrticulary near Arequipa. These that I show you are taken from the skull and are believed to be tho real eyes of the Iucas, aud are respect ed as such. The women wear them made up into necklaces, scarf-pins, and other articles of jewelry. As a matter of fact, however, they are really tho eyes of tho octopus or devil fish. They nre thoroughly desiccated or rather mummified by tho air, nud were put iu ages ago to take tho placo of the natural eyes, wnicli the abo rigines found would not lust in that climate. Iu having them set as a piece of jewelry you must be cautious. The workmen iu trimming them down 3 must beware of gottiug any dust in any cut he may have. If bo doos so, blood-poisoning is sure to sot in and tho termination may likely bo fatal, by the way,” continued the ex-uaval office, “I'll tell you a queer thing hap pened down there. I have no doubt you recollect the great tidal wave of about twenty years ago. The United States store ship Fredonia was sunk, and the man of war Wateree lifted bodily aud deposited several milos in land, crossing a railroad iu its flight. When it was proposed to got her on tho beach again tho natives wanted such an exorbitant sum for cutting out about the railroad that the «chemo was abandoned. Some timo after ward anothor earthquake took place which again lifted tho Wateree bodily, carried her back over the railroad tracks, and deposited her on the beach. It was found, however, that her con dition was such that it would not pay to do anything with her, so sho was loft to rot and be broken up by tho in habitants."— Philadelphia Inquirer. lien I got home There is a famous young man at the l.‘ from mother's tbe Huffman House, and his name is Hoff other afternoon man, says the New York S«». This TUFF STITCH. Mr. Bowser was is, however, only a coincidence, for lie No. 8. S tar S ihtch .—Make a chain walkiug up and is not named after the house and the of the required length. Take up tlie down the sitting house is not named after him. His tirsl live stitches by putting the hook room like a caged full name is Nicholas Hoffman. Ho is through four loops of the chain, one 19 years old, aud lie lias been engaged lion. As be was after another, nud drawing the (bread through, keening all live on the needle. for the past three years taking charge an Lour ahead of Then draw them into a circle or •'star.” of tlie hats of men who pass into the bis usual time I by putting the thread over the ueedle dining-room, lie is a tall, sprightly, was naturally as ami drawing through nil at once, and soft-voiced young fellow, and the re tonished, nnd us lie looked bo stern nnd then drawing the thread through the re markable facility that lie lias acquired dignified. I was fearful that some mis maining stitch. ill disposing of men's hats has made fortune had occurred. in making the next star, count tlie him tlieobjectof much curiosity among stitch already on tho needle ns one, “Anything wrong, Mr. Bowser?" I Hoffman House guests. At a moderate make the second stitch by putting the tn mi aged to ask. estimate he handles about 600 lists a needle through the tiny hole formed by He halted, folded his hands under his day without cheeks, aud he hns not drawing together the first live stitches, coat-tails, mid balancing himself on bis made a mistake in two years. Ho lias bring the thread through as before; heels and toes alternatively, he replied: been four years at this particular make the third stitch in tlie same way, “Mrs. Bowser, this is tbe last straw— work, having been employed at tlie in back of last stitch of star, fourth and the very last." same business one year in Delmonieo’s. fifth stitches in chain, draw together ns “Why, what have I done?” His fame as a hat handler has spread previously directed and repeat to the “I bad an invitation to attend a ban so far that he has liad several offers to end of tlie row. quet of the B. N. G. Club, aud was go to summer hotels for the purpose oí down to deliver an address. I came bundling lints. borne to get ready, and, lol what do 1 “What is the first thing you notice find?” about a man whose hat you have to “Robbers in the bouse?” put. away?” he was asked the other "Not much! No robber with any uay. sense iu bis head would cumo to this “First his face. I look at him full house! It would take him a week to THE ART OF, CROCHETING. find anything! I go up stairs to get a in the face, so that I shall know him clean shirt, collar, etc., but nothing of A.n Introduction to the Stltche® at the . again.” V ouii U h tlon of tlie Art. tbe sort can be found. I come down “How do you identify him with his STAR STITCH. and ask the cook to see if my Sunday Crocheting is pretty generally under hat? Do you look at tho name of tlie clothes nre in tbe Ilnur barrel, hut she stood, says the Youth » Companion, but Break tlie thread and begin the second maker?” looks in vain. 1 go to the telephone there are many to whom tlie art is still a row same as tlie first, starting with a “No; that would bo but a slight guide, nnd ask the coni tnnn if he saw them in chain of three stitches to keep the edge because most of our guests have fash the basement when be put iu the last mystery. For these this article is print straight. Iu order to repeat without ionable hats made by- a few makers. ton, but he can't remember. You, of ed. In crocheting hold your needle and breaking the threa I. chain three nt the Wf course, if a man has a hat with any course, have no knowledge of them. wool as lightly as possible. Hold your end of Ilia row. turn, one dou blc crochet peculiarity, if it is very old or very You can't any whether they are iu tlie needle iu your right band, but keep it in middle of second alar, chain one, new, or an odd shape, or lias anything oat-bin iu the barn, or packed away iu free from everything else; do not even double crochet in middle of next star peculiar about it. that would at once the garret for a rat's nest." allow the fingers of this hand to rest and continue to the eml of tlie row, attract my attention. The main guide “Mr. Bowser, have you been drink upon the work. Do not wear tight working the next row of stars the saiuo that 1 liaye is tlie size and shape of the as the first on chain. ing?” head. By long practice 1 cau size up “Have I been drinking! That’s just sleeves or finger-rings; have your arras a man’s hat pretty quickly.” like a woman! When she gets cornered free. Do not wind the wool—use it from Lovely Woman. “Have you no guide as to the time a she throws out just such insults to hide the skein; but if you must wind it. do Woman 11 man goes into tlie dining-room as to her owu short-comings. It's a wouder not make it into a bull, but wind it soft probably called whereto find his hat?’’ I don’t come home drunk mid wipe out ly and lightly from the thumb to the tbe "Sunday of this family. Mrs. Bowser, 1 demand to little finger of the left hand. “Yes, there is a general guide. I The know what you huve done with my man" because put those tliat come in first in regular stitches here explained are the "funda clothes." order on tlie top rack. I have four she goes to mentals," aud a girl having become eftl “They are upstairs, unless you have racks, aud till in so that the last hats church while he cient in them may then move on to the sold or giveu them away.” go on the bottom rack. If they all came stays in bed.— “No more insults, please Come up- more difficult branches of the art: out in the same order that tliev go in Boston Gazette. stairs, and show me, for instance, where No. 1. T he C hain .—Twist the end there would be no trouble, but ovjs It is said that my shirts nre. ” of the thread around the hook, forming man takes half an hour and another an women live lou- “ Very well. We shall find them in a loop; take up tho thread and draw hour. Sometimes I return a hat from ger than men. the second drawer of your bureau, through this loop, making the first tlie bottom rack before the last one is where they have been for tbe last two stitch; draw thread through the stitch But this is ob gone from tlie top rack.” years.’ ’ thus formed;, as directed, to make the viously a mis- "When a man comes out of the din "1'11 bet you a million dollars to a second stitch, and continue to the length ake, for you seldom see a six foot wo DEALER IN ing-room you first remember about tlie cent." required. The ciiniti is a series of loops, man.— Danville Breeze. time lie went in?” “Come on.” each drawn through the one preceding "Women must have been happy in “That’s it, for by that I have a gen We went upstairs to the bureau and I eral idea of whereto find his bat. But the time of Noah.” "Why so?" "Be Music anil Musicians. pulled out the drawer and there lav five to pick out the right liat is entirely an cause it took along time to grow old in clean shirts, just where I had placed There are souls for music in people them as they came from the laundry two eilort of memory.” those days.”— Boston Gazette. who, the moralists believe, have uo days before. “Do you never use checks?” Women often do tlie wrong thing. If souls at all, or have lostihem, says the “Yes. 1 used them for a while at “But they were not there an hour a woman has a number 7 foot and the Cedar Flooring, Ceiling and Rustió San Francisco Chronicle. Perhaps the ago." protested Mr. Bowser. Delmouico's, aud we have them here shoe-dealer says she can wear a number Manufactured to order. "But they were. How could they be for strangers, who occasionally do not simplest proof of a soul for music may 8 shoe, she's very apt to put her foot iu like to give tip their hats without be stated as the ability to collect or anywhere else. In this other drawer — Yonkers Statesman. checks, as they are afraid they will uot the willinguess to pay $1 for a coucert. are your socks, neckties, cuffs aud col Order. Promptly Filled For All Kinds of And in tlie cases of people who sing lars. See?” get the right hats back again.” She Meant the Ollier Mr. Jones. "I see, but that drawer was empty Rough Lumber. in or go to places where admission is “Why not use checks?” 1. THE CHAIN. 2. SINGLE CROCHET. He had never seen a telephone—you “Because it takes too much time. free the existence of the soul for music half an hour ago.” No; 2. S ingle crochet .—Or. as it b -can see bow old the story is. He <ijid The i-eisiH^ieeessi^^^^^^lp-^e1aJL- Jgy ha^-bted. • 1 But jJio-iH-i.igssion.,__ "And in this closet is your Sunday at any ‘Seof Vi’“1’. ’n n"‘ ptB,‘* Ar* sometimes called, '"slip" or "mitten never seen a telephone, and his friend of music is uTiTile anywhenT anywhere, J ’ . . J unii growing lyrnwintr blind, blind Mr BowuerT R owmi 'I? ” you Mr. stitch." is so simple as to scarcely need was showing him how it worked. It out cheTOW^BgfflB them by time. Musin tells a very good story illustration. Having a stitch on the on the subject. He wcut into one of mistaking niimbeW needle, put the book through the work was in his office. He culled up his “Of course you recognize tlie hats of those variety places in tlie basement loop of chain nud draw the thread house and the wife came to the tele BANDON, COOS COUNTY, OREGON, where the girls who sing bestow their regular guests easily.” phone. the loop and stitch at once. ROOT. WALKER, Prop. “Yes; but they are constantly chang society upon tlie audience between ap “My dear, Mr. Jones is here, and I No. 8. D ouble S titcii . — Having ing wytli the seasons, so that I must all pearances on the stage and serve made tbe foundation chain, turn the have asked him to come up to dinner." jAn Lewin’ old otand. work, draw the thread through the the tilnu keep on learning new hats. drinks. There was a small party of Then he turned to Mr. Jones and said: third stitch from tlie needle, take up the When the summer hatscome in I must them, and when they were joined by “Put your ear to that und you’ll bear some of tlie ladies Musin promptly or thread again and draw through both her answer.” begin all over again.” Headquarters or 8eafaier«, Eteemtiat dered the refreshments. They came, stiches at once. In working double He did. and this was the answer: “What hours do you work at it?’’ Men and Travelers. crochet, chain three at beginning of “Now. John, I told you I would never “One day I come on at 7 and work were handed round, and Musin pulled each row, proceeding as with tho first have that disagreeable wretch in my until 11 A. M., until breakfast is over. out his money to pay for them, when house again.” Then 1 go away until 5 P. M.. and I one of the youug ladies put her hand Lalol Sun ¡•'rancheo and County Paper». “What win that!” spoke out Mr. work from 5 P. M. to 1 A. M. The on his arm. Billiard». Jones. Women are quick. A man “I beg your pardon, M. Musin, but next day I work from 11 A. M. to 9 would have simply backed away from P. M., straight. That brings me hero we artists never charge one another." tlie telephone and said no more, She There is one serious trouble about a every dinner hour. I never miss a din took in the situation in a second when soul for music. It is not always relia ner.” WK WENT TO THE BUREAU. she heard the strange voice, and quick ble. It is apt to make mistakes. There “Do you do tliis all alone?” “There is some dark mystery connect as a tliisli came back tbe sweetest kind “No; there is another boy, Alfred is a lady of high culture and refine ed with all this, Mrs. Bowser, mid I will of a voice: Gautier, 24 years old. lie helps on ment who is sorry sho did not let her not rest until I unravel it. I spent o “Why, Mr. Jones, how do you do? I soul for music take a look at the hotel the other side, and has been three good half hour looking for my things, thought my husband meant another Mr. register before she spoke. She is proud years handling hats. Each of us kuows but not one single article could I find.” Jones. Do come up to dinner. I shall which hats we take, and as lie is a lit and deservedly so of her musical taste, “Because you rushed upstairs nnd be glad to see you."—«Sun Francisco 2. DOUBLE CROCHET. 4. TREBLE CROCHET. but she does not feel quite so sure of tle shorter than 1 am it is easy tor the went into tbe spare room just like n lot Chronicle. it as she did. There was a groat vio of other husbands. Of course you did! No. 4. T reble C rochet —Having 11 guests to tell which of us took their linist in town and everybody was talk stitch on the needle, put tlie thread ovei Tlie Mvlonium Hai« Cornei Bee? Every drawer in the spare room hats. The rule is that we both handle ns for another stitch, insert tlie hook in ing about him. bureau bus been pulled out. and tbe hats each day without mistakes, and the work, draw tlie thread through, take “Have you been to hear him yet?" a clothes press door is wide open I” the regular guests have no hesitancy “Mrs. Bowser, don't try to get out of up the thread again and draw it through friend asked this lady. in letting us take their hats, because “No, I have not been able to go; but it this way! Mv eyesight is still good, two of tlie three stitciies then on tlie tiiey know they will get them back I don’t mind that, because I hear him nnd when I see an empty drawer I know needle; take up the thread again and when they come out. Gautier speaks it is not full of shirts. I have lost an draw it through tlie two stitciies which French nnd German, aud acts as inter every day." hour looking for my things, and uow 1 remain. If working on a chain, ns illus “Every day? How is that?" preter for the house.” trated, insert the hook at starting in tlie “Well, he has the rooms just below cannot go to the banquet.” “Do you remember names as well as He went downstairs nnd called up fiflh stitch of chain from needle. mine, and he practices every morning, No. 5. S hort treble crochet .—Like faces and hats?” Shipping and Forwarding. and I open my window aud listen, and some one by telephone and said: “Yes. Of course there is some trou “I can’t be there this evening, My tlie treble crociiet, except that the thread, it is so delightful. He has such a love shirts, collars and clothes have all been instead of being taken up twice and ble with foreign names, but I can gen ly violin.” mislaid by my wife, and I only found drawn up through two alitches nt n Have on band and are receiving by erally repeat it as I hear it. if not cor “The rooms below!” said a third rectly, at least near enough to be re friend. “The rooms below are occu them a moment ago. Very sorry, but time, is drawn through nil three stitches every vessel at once. (See illustration of treble give my regrets to the boys and tell them cognized.” pied by------ , tho millionaire, aud that’s liow it wns. Some wives are like that, crociiet.) “Dou’t you sometimes get confus f ...................... '1 his valet playing every morning on a and can’t help it, you know. Good No. 6. C rochet P ompons .—Make n ed?” chain of thirty stiches, quite loosely. $3 fiddle.’’ bye." “No; it won’t do to get rattled. It is It was true. The next evening Mr. Bowser brought Put llio needle through tlie second stitch my business to notice hats and men, n friend up with hitn—the same one he Df~tbu chain, hfivtftg the instrument and I do it intuitively. Practice alone Of standard brands snd guaranteed bad telephoned to. After a bit he took She Gave Him the Curl. has made mo perfect. 1 do not know him up stairs for t smoke, and ns they purity and strength. that I could teach anybody how to do Uncle Reub—Well, olo’oman, I struck Such a thing as wearing different reached the bend of tbe stairs they it. I never got any rules of other men found the following notice ou tbe bed a stiddy Job to-day. Gwine have wuk who do the same business There is a sorts of bangs on various occasions is room door: clean up I’ll Fall. now. man at the Fifth Avenue hotel who common enough among girls, your INSIDE THIS ROOM Aunt Dinah—Praise de—how much does the same sort of work, and I know correspondent is led to believe. And yo' gwine ter git t will be found him and have talked with him. but we this reminds him of a young woman he Uncle Reub—I)oan git no pay. (W’Ais- Dry Goods and Clothing do not talk over methods of taking knows who affects a good deal ot the MR. BOWSER'S SHIRTS. COLLARS, CUFFS pering.) Gwine wuk uwn er watermelon AND SUNDAY SUIT. care of hats. I begin to look at a man lack of sentiment and excessively com dock. mon-sense ways characteristic of tho Don't make the mistake of looking in as soon as he comes in sight, and look Aunt Dinah—Praiso de Lawd! Praise Of latest -tries and patterns, and from ths Boston girl. Ono evening not long tbe alley. at him and his hat ns long as I can. de Lawd!— Purk. crochet pompons . ago a young man whom site cordially leading manufacturers. That fixes him and his hat in niv On the bureau I bad tacked a second disliked had been making her a visit, mind. 1 have got bo used to it that I under tbe hand, as in knitting; hold the Fair Warning. sign, rending: gushing over ns usual in his conver needle nnd work with thumb and mid “First drawer—Your hair dye, etc. would rather not be bothered with She—You must never let father see sation with idiotic compliments. At “Second drawer—Collars, cuffs and dle finger of the right band, having the checks.” length with an air and accent designod neckties. forefinger about one inch above the yon put vour arm around my waist. “Do you find many people curious to be quite irresistible and heart He—Why, should lie be so angry. hook of the needle, nnd wind the wool “Third drawer—Your shirts. as to tlie way you do this?” She—No. dear; but he would irv to crushing, he said: On tbe door of the clothes closet I bad nine or ten times around the needle and “Yes, they often question mo about “My dear Miss P., your hair is so finger, thus forming long loops. Hav boriow some money from you.— Lift. it aud amuse themselves by looking at beautiful. Should I be venturing too a third sign, reading: “Your Sunday suit is in this closet- ing wound tbe thread evenly, keep the me. Sometimes they try to puzzle me, gross a liberty if I begged you to give Fodder. finger well up. draw tho loops on the first hook to tbe left as you enter.’’ but when I Bay a man’s bat is his I me one little lock of it?” needle through tbe chain stitch, nnd fin Grocer — "Good On cncli garment was marked the know it is his. I suppose I have a Of all sizes and kinds always la stock “Not at all, Mr. K.,’’ replied thelady ish witli single crochet. When the chain morning, Mr. Oat- natural hat faculty. 1 iiave not done in a matter-of-fact tone. “You are name, "coat.” "vest,” and “pants,'’ and is all taken up sew into a round mat nnd on tbe wall a set of instructions, read cake. What brings and on the way. much else for the past four years, so I quite welcome!” pick the loops well npart to make the ing: you back to tho have got to be pretty well used to it pompons look flulTv. “1. Fiing your lint under the bed. And with that she deliberately de* city so soon?" If a man wants his hat sent out to be taciied a small curl from above her No. 7. P uff S titch .—Chain any re "2. Kick your limits over behind the ironed or brushed up while he is at pink little ear, on the left side, and lounge. Farmer Oatcake quired number of stitches, turn; five dinner I can do that. I never watch gravely presented it, hairpin and nil, —“Waal, I’m go “3. Throw your vest behind tbe wash chain, put thrend over, ns for treble where a man goes in the dining-room to the importunate dude. Of course lie stand mid your coat on the Hour. crochet, draw through but do not finish; ing to have a good or where ho comes from. I depend en- took it. He could not perceive that “4. In removing the buttons from thread over nnd draw through twice many more sum GENTLEMEN’S FURNISHING GOODS tirelv upon my recollection of him ami there was anything else to do.— Albany your shirt, jerk nnd twist from left to more, making six stitches on needle. mer boarders than Work tlie six off at once with n single right and buck ngniu. This will enlarge bis bat." ___________ Argus. stich, then work off tlie remaining two I expected, so von might send me ten tbe buttonholes. OF ALL DESCRIPTIONS. “5. If you drop one of tlie buttons. Stitches, chain one, and begin on next more cases of canned vegetables!’ —Life. F’urniture of Glass. An Indian in tho Everglades, Fla., Jump up and down aud cuss aud deciare puff. They are all made in tbe same Women should insist upon a share of Glass furniture is manufactured es it is said, is still holding in slavery ne that you have been one button short all way, and if one remembers to make the census-taking. They cun ask ques three half trebles before working off, it tions nnd find out about people quit« pecially for India, where the Rajahs groes that were his when the war the week. Ocean and Blver WharUg« and W «bous like glittering and showy room. hl'okn nnf. “6. If tbe buttonholes in your collar is very simple. u successfully as meu. R. IL ROSA, SALOON, Geo. M. Dyer & Son, BANDON, OREGON, General Merchants Groceries & Provisions Boots and Shoes, and Rubber Goods,