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About Smoke signals. (Grand Ronde, Or.) 19??-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 1, 1998)
February 1, 1998 5 Opinion Abuse survivors can move forward By Anthony Gagliardo, MSW ICW Investigator, Mental Health Specialist and Deborah Gagliardo, MSW Typicality of child sexual abuse: It has been estimated that 20-40 of girls and 2-9 of boys are sexually abused by the time they reach eighteen. These estimates represent only reported cases, numbers are believed to be signifi cantly higher. Definition of child sexual abuse: Child sexual abuse is any sexual behavior directed toward a child by a person who has power over that child. Such behavior always involves a betrayal of that child's trust. Self indicators of child sexual abuse: If you remember being sexually vio lated as a child, trust your memories, even if what you're remembering seems too awful to be true. It is common for individuals who have been abused not to have clear memo ries. Even in the absence of conscious memories, certain experiences can trigger intense feelings of fear, nausea, and despair. Some of these "trig gers" include specific sounds, smells, tastes, words, and facial expressions. Whether or not you have specific memories, if you suspect that you were sexually abused, then you probably were. Often the first step in remember ing involves having a hunch or a suspicion that some type of violation oc curred. Pay attention to these feelings. For people who suspect that they were sexually abused generally discover that this has been the case. Affects of child sexual abuse: There are many ways people experience the harm that results from having been sexually abused. Consider the following questions (Bass and Davis, 1988): Self-Esteem Do you often feel that you are not a worthwhile person? Do you feel bad, dirty, or ashamed of yourself? Do you feel that you have to be perfect? Feelings Do you have trouble knowing how you feel? i f Have you ever,, worried about going crazy? Is it hard for you to differentiate between various feelings? ' Do you experience a very narrow range of feelings? Are you afraid of your feelings? Do they seem out of control? Your Body Do you have a restricted range of feelings in your body? Do you find it difficult to be aware of what your body is telling you? Do you have a hard time loving and accepting your body? Do you have any physical illnesses that you think might be related to past sexual abuse? Have you ever intentionally hurt yourself or abused your body? Intimacy Do you find it difficult to trust others? Are you afraid of people? Do you feel alienated or lonely? Do you have trouble making a commitment? Do you panic when people get too close? Do you expect people to leave you? Have you ever been involved with someone who reminds you of your abuser or someone you know is not good for you? If it happened then, why do I have to deal with it now? There are many factors that make it impossible for children to receive the help that they need at the time of the abuse. Unfortunately, many children who do seek support are met with reactions such as disbelief, lack of concern, and even blame. Despite efforts to seek help, the abuse may continue or even get worse. There are many understandable reasons why children do not seek help at the time of the abuse. Abusers often scare children by threatening to retaliate or by implying that the abuse is the child's fault. Sexual abuse of a child can. never be the child's fault. For whatever reason, if the abuse is not dealt with at the time, its damaging effects will still be present years later. Is there hope? The devastating effects of sexual abuse do not need to be permanent. You can heal! You have already survived the worst part, the abuse itself. You have choices now that you didn't have then. If you choose to commit to your own healing process, have patience with yourself, and let others support you along the way, you can learn that it is possible not only to "survive," but to experience what it means to be truly alive. Where to start? If you think you may have been sexually abused, talking with a trained professional can be helpful. You do not have to be alone in your pain. Breaking the silence is one of the most important factors of the healing process. Make an appointment with a professional who will under stand what you have been through. Making connections: alcohol and violence Submitted by Vernon Kennedy, Tribal Wellness Education Counselor Written by Penny Norton, Executive Director, FACE FACE (Facing Alcohol Concerns Through Education) provides community advocacy education and training for communities, schools, and colleges on alcohol issues. In 1990 there were two states (Texas and Loui siana) where the leading cause of death by acciden tal injury was not automobiles, but guns. The Center for Disease Control got excited about this and wanted to try to identify com mon denominators that contributed to the level of gun violence in both states. They found five: shooting deaths occurred in or near the home; among people who knew each other; in the context of an argument; in the proximity of a gun (either on or near them); while they had been drinking. The people had not been smoking pot, snorting cocaine, or injecting heroin. They had been drinking. They were not huffing, sniffing, or speeding they were drinking. If we looked at police reports at the city and county level nationwide, we would see that alcohol is consistently a factor in over half the incidents of domestic violence and assault. In over half of all homicides, the per petrator, the victim, or both have been drinking. Alcohol is a factor in 90 of all campus rapes. The problem is, there is not much truth out there about alcohol. Whether or not we hear about con tributing factors is a critical compo nent in our ability to make connec tions. The most visible source is through television, radio, newspa pers, and newsletters. When is the last time you heard a radio or TV reporter indicate that al cohol was a factor in the assault, man- (Jt& with m (Mill fGjim Gti&AMl ($PMi m (mm fil!u& iwl&im IV slaughter, homicide, or domestic vio lence incident they were reporting on? When is the last time you read that alcohol was a factor in a violence related crime in your community? We have had a federal war on vio lence in this country for over five years and the three themes have been guns, gangs, and drugs. Alcohol is never mentioned as a contributing factor, and so this narrowly focused strategy is set up to fail. It is like our national "War on Drugs" that does not include alcohol; the single big gest drug issue we have! So what do we do? The next time someone is hurt or killed in your com munity, find out if alcohol was in volved. Ask the question to law en forcement, emergency room staff, radio and television reporters. Ask the question to school administrators, presidents of universities, athletic directors, deans of students, probate and district court judges. The truth is, until we reduce alco hol abuse, we cannot reduce vio lence. Until we actively include al cohol in the war on drugs, we will fail over and over. And until the al cohol beverage industry does not "own" the political end of Washing ton, D.C., the burden to fight for these changes is on "we the people." GET OUT THERE AND MAKE SOME NOISE! GO If you have recently moved or plan on moving, let us know so you won't I I mice a cinnlo icci 10 nf wm ir farrito novwcnanor Qmnlco .QVwa.Q is avail- J able to anyone at no cost. Just fill out this form with your name and J J address, then mail it back to Smoke Signals, Attn: Kim Mueller, 9615 J j Grand Ronde Road, Grand Ronde, OR 97347. j OLD ADDRESS: NEW ADDRESS:
