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About Spilyay tymoo. (Warm Springs, Or.) 1976-current | View Entire Issue (June 21, 2007)
Page 10 Spilyay Tyrnoo, Wgi-m Springs, Oregon June 21, 2 0 0 7 W illiams: That first one was just my whole downfall’ (Continued from page 1) It was during his childhood that Williams first discovered what would lead him down a dark path: alcohol. Williams began to experiment with alcohol as early as age six. “Right from the get-go I was an alcoholic,” he said. was already liking the taste o f the whiskey and the wine.” W hen he finally en tered school, Williams said, “It was hard for me to mix with kids here.” , Standing in the com er be came as customary to Williams during his boarding school years as waxing floors and polishing shoes as punishment. “That did help me, though, to learn to kind o f get along with people, to have a voice and opinions,” Williams said. “The horses and cows wouldn’t an swer me back, so the other opin ions o f people were starting to help.” . Around the same time that Williams took up the sport o f baseball (he dreamt o f playing for the Dodgers), he suffered another devastating loss when his horse died. I t was, Williams explained, just another period o f dealing with his relationship with God,, “H e took my life away from me right there again. That was my horse. Without that horse I became nothing,” Williams ex plained. Still, his parents served as motivation to him at an early age and throughout his childhood, “My father was one o f my greatest inspirations,” Williams explained. With his father’s help, Williams became an able, handy man and learned as much as he could. O f his mother, W illiams said, ¡“She, was really my inspiration to learn more.” Though she only had a third grade education, Williams said, “She had to be at least six to seven times smarter than I was.”. . Williams has stories o f sitting on rubber mats during lightning storms while in a lookout tower with his father, watching his fa ther pinpoint forest fires for awaiting crews. H e once fantasized o f fol lowing. in his father’s footsteps and pored over pamphlets about firefighting and logging. Williams even sought out training in the field and began to learn how to fly planes. Even tually, the hold that alcohol took over his life overran everything else— until now. Years of bitterness Cigarettes and alcohol be came a normal fixture in his life when those around him began drinking regularly, Williams said. According to Williams,,. “It was just something everybody else was doing. I t probably looked cool to me.” His older brothers also turned to alcohol and quickly became entangled with the law. W h en W illiam s saw his brother being taken away by the police, he said, “That’s when I . started running into trouble.” “If it wasn’t a hatred o f cops it was just a mistrust,” Williams added. “Those were my really bitter years, watching them take my brothers away.” Years later Williams found him self averaging 40 miles o f walking per day while searching for cans to cash in for the de posit in order to buy more alco hol. “I would just walk and walk and walk for that extra mile. I f I didn’t have enough cans I would walk another five or ten miles for enough to get it,” he said. Williams explained, “My body needed that alcohol. In my mind I knew I wanted it. My body needed it to keep on function ing and keep on going.” He camped by the river with others who ch o se the same lifestyle, Williams said. But it was not a pleasant way to live. “There were many times I sat along that river and thought there stuck in a cattle guard,” about jumping in,” Williams said. he said. “Someone finally found B u t because he knew how to me and took me to the hospi swim, he knew his instincts tal” . would kick in and he would just Even that experience didn’t swim back out. frighten him away from alcohol. It once came to that— Will For a brief time, he said, it only iams fell in, but swam to the made him more careful. shore. Once he returned to his camp and got into dry clothes, Stayed by the river ¡As for his children, Williams Williams turned right back to alcohol. said, alcohol definitely affected “I didn’t think nothing about his relationship with them. freezing, I went back to my “I always tried to make it to drinking” Williams said. “It's just their graduations and all their so powerful and addictive that Christmas programs,” he said. there is nothing else more im “T he alcohol was in the way.” portant, not even the life itself.? It didn’t take much alcohol “It was always the only thing either, he added. on my mind, as soon as I woke r “A* times it wouldn’t even up— how am I going to get my take m ore than two or three drinks and I would be in the next one?” A t th a t p o in t, W illiam s ^blackout stage,” W illiams said.;.; cam ped by the river w ith a A fter awhile, Williams de group o f elders. Since they were cided it would be best just to unable to walk, Williams would stay out o f the lives o f those begin walking during early morn around him. ing until he had enough cans to, “That’s why I chose to stay cash in. alopg the river,” Williams ex . “Much o f that time I was not plained. O ften he would just allowed in the store,” Williams start walking, som etim es to said. ,‘T had to wait for some states as far as South Dakota— “Just to see what’s over that next body to take the cans in.” N o matter the cost, Williams mountaih or that next river,” always kept drinking— even Williams said. though it meant risking his life But always, he added, “Deep in my mind I knew I just had to even more. . A t one point, Williams said, quit” D rinking kept him frequently he turned to trash bags fo r warmth while he slept. W hen in trouble with the law as well. som eo ne to o k his cam ping Throughout his life, Williams has equipment, he had to crawl in been to prison six times. side large trash bags during the - “I don’t blame the law for night :> sending me to all o f my alcohol “That was not fun,” he said. programs,” Williams said. “But “It was survival, actually, but it; when I was court ordered that was just kind o f more o f a slow put me on a defense.”"' death more than anything else.” “I couldn’t wait for that door But death wasn’t something to open,” he added. Williams found concerning. At “It wasn’t the law, it was just the time, he said, “I f I did not the obsession and the possession wake up, at least I would be dy o f alcohol that just overruled,” ing happy, having that alcohol.” he added. One o fth e closest calls came B u t it’s no t that W illiams when Williams fell into a cattle never tried to stop drinking. guard and became stuck. B e “So many times I Sat along cause freezing rain was pouring that river looking around and down, he nearly died o f over wondering if I should go walk up in the mountains and sit exposure. “I was freezing to death right dow n fo r a few days and hol has done to me. There’s no way I can reverse that. I will die an alcoholic even though I do not care for it no more or want it no more. It’s still destroying my life, and it will not stop de stroying my life. All o f those decisions I made were the wrong ones. I ’m still lost in that bottle and I c a n t open it. I ’m still suf fering for what I ’ve done.” “I don’t think I ’ll ever get away from it. T h e long-term effects— that will stay with me the rest o f my life,” he added. For now, Williams is content to spend as much time as pos sible with his “very beautiful wife and grandchildren.” . ; “That’s my highlight They’re there with me and I ’m there for them,” Williams said with a shy smile. According t p Williams, oth straighten up,” he said. Though he did just that on several occasions, he was neve! able to resist the temptation o f alcohol. “I had no answer at all except thaj I could not function without it,” he explained. Part o f the problem involved being offered a drink. Williams said it’s almost like his body automatically took hold o f the bottle being held out to him. According to Williams, “To stop the shakes I guess my body just reacted and I just took it.” After years o f sobriety, Will iams is stjll realizing the havoc that alcoholism caused in his life. “I could be doing something with my life now instead o f all those years I spent wasted. That alcohol just took away1 all o f that,” he said .. N ow that W illiams is ap proaching retirement, he said, he’s started to wonder about how that will happen. A cco rd in g to. W illiam s, “Even nôw I have a rough time trying to get over what the alco ers often seek advice from him about how to quit drinking. “I tell them, ‘I can’t tell you.’ I made the wrong decision. I tried to listen to other people. That is up to the individual,” he said. After so many years o f drink ing, W illiam s said, he o ften thought, “Fifty years from now, who is going to be buying me that next drink?” His past is something that still haunts him today. According to Williams, “ It will never stop hounding me— all the wrong decisions I made.” “The worst one was to begin in the first place. That first one was just my whole downfall.” Quality Automotive Service Over 26 Years Experience Master ASE Certified Technician 475-2412 85 SW 3rd Street (Located in the old Palmain Shop) Jefferson County School District 509-J J efferson C ounty SCHOOL DISTRICT 509J 445 SE Buff St. _ Madras, OR 97741 Phone (541) 475-0339 _ Fax (541) 475-8279 Office of the Food Services Supervisor M^mmSNQ CHILDREN TO MBBT THE WORLD “U S D A and the State o f O regon is equal opportunity providers and employers” Summer Food Service Program School’s Out Let’s Eat!!! Food Service Truck will come to a central location in your neighbor hood, or to your local participating school. Site Name/Location Address Meal Times Program Dates Warm Springs Elementary School Cafeteria 1114 Wasco Street Warm Springs, OR 97761 8:00 - 8:30 Breakfast 11:30-12:15 Lunch July 3 -J u ly 27,2007 CLOSED JULY 4‘2007 Greely Heights intersection at Quail Trail Quail Trail Warm Springs, OR 97761 11:00-11:30 Lunch June 18 - August 10,2007 CLOSED JULY 4,2007 West Hills Neighborhood Play Area West Hills Drive Warm Springs, OR 97761 11:45-12:15 Lunch June 18 - August 10,2007 5 CLOSED JULY 4, 2007 Upper Dry Creek Tommy Street Upper Dry Creek Warm Springs, OR 97761 11:0 0 -1 1:3 0 Lunch June 18 - August 10,2007 CLOSED JULY 4,2007 Simnyside Intersection at View Street Sunnyside Drive Warm Springs, OR 97761 1 1:45-12:00 Lunch June 18 - August 10,2007 CLOSED JULY 4.2007 Simnasho Long House Parking Lot Asnamash Loop . Warm Springs, OR 97761 v 1 2 :3 0 -1 :00 Lunch June 18 - August 10,2007 CLOSED JULY 4, 2007 Westside Elementary School Cafeteria 410 SW 4th Street Madras, OR 97741 1 :0 0 -1 :3 0 Lunch , June 18 - August 10,2007 CLOSED JULY 4, 2007 4 Metofius Elementary School Play Ground Area 420 Butte Ave Metoiius, OR 97741 1 1:00-11:30 Lunch June 1 8 - August 10, 2007 CLOSED JULY 4,2007 Jefferson County Middle School/ Cafeteria 1180 SE City View S t Madras, OR 97741 8:00 - 8:30 Breakfast 11:30-12:15 Lunch July 3 -J u ly 31,2007 CLOSDED JULY 4, 2007 Madras High School Cafeteria 390 SE 10th Street Madras, OR 97741 8:00 - 8:30 Breakfast 1 1:30-12:15 Lunch July 3 -J u ly 27,2007 CLOSED JULY 4,2007 Summer Food Service Program Rules: 1. All children on site 1-18 years eat at no charge. 4. No meals w ill be served to adults. 2. Adults are not allowed to eat off of child’s plate. 5. All meals must be eaten on site. 3. Meals will only be served during assigned meal times.