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About Spilyay tymoo. (Warm Springs, Or.) 1976-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 24, 1996)
Spilyay Tymoo Warm Springs, Oregon October 24, 1996 7 What is it Editor's Note: The following article is reprinted from Reader's Digest at the request of the Warm Springs Women's Resource Association. Author is Dr. Joyce Brothers "The great question I have not been able to answer," Sigmund Freud once confessed, "is, what does a woman want?" Many husbands and boyfriends wonder the same thing today. But modern psychologists and women know the answer. A woman wants most everything a man wants: success, power, status, money, love, marriage, children, happiness, fulfillment. Women need to communicate this more clearly. Here are nine things we should tell the men we love. 1. Women need genuine, personal displays of affection. The song "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" is about the vanishing breed of woman who lives off the expensive gifts a man gives her. But a woman who values love for its own sake tends to be wary of gifts that are too costly. An ostentatious gift can make her feel that a man is try ing to buy her affections and sees her as a prize rather than a person. Gifts that give women genuine pleasure are those with a personal touch an item of clothing, for example because such gifts, when chosen properly, are statements of caring and a high form of flattery, demonstrating recognition of a loved one's special tastes. The best gifts, from a woman's point of view, are those that are on going, rather than flamboyant. One husband I heard of collects simple valentines and gives them to his wife all year long, hiding them in places she's likely to find them when she needs a lift in her pocketbook or in one of the kitchen cabinets. What's missing from a lot of lives is romance. It's the little things that make a difference, such as doing small chores for her, sharing a laugh. These are the "diamonds" that really Thank you for To the editor, It was a great loss to our family when our mothergrandmother passed on to the next world. Grati tude is given to those who encour aged us and guided us throughout the duration of the funeral services and those who extended words of inspi ration to our family. Thank you Tribal Council for the cash donation and the support given to our family. We are eternally grate ful to Clifford Moses for his love, support, kind words, advice and will ingness to officiate the services. Our love, respect and gratitude will be always extended to Louise Hellon for being with the family and with our mother for the duration of the services and for leading the dressing ceremony. Thank you, Uncle Vernon Henry, for your support, wisdom, and pres ence. Thank you Wiggy Sooksoit for your help and advice. To the cooks and kitchen helpers, appreciation is extended for the wonderful meals provided; Neda Wesley, Charlotte Shike, Helen Smartlowit, Lila Ike, Alexandria Henry, Leah, Henry, Martha Winishut, Alice Stewart, Clinic hours change- Clinic hours, effective through November 8, will be Monday through Friday 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. No late clinic due to shortage of staff. Effective November 12, the hours of operation will be Monday through Thursday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. and Friday from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Become informed of HIVAIDS by Carolyn Wewa, C.H.E.T, Have you ever taken some time to read about HIVAIDS? If you were to be questioned about this subject, would you have accurate information to answer the questions? HIVAIDS is a concern that everyone needs to be educated and aware of, if we are to prevent the spread of this virus. Indian people are very mobile people. We attend rodeos, powwows, softball tournaments and other activities that take us into different parts of Indian country, and into contact with many other people. We love to socialize, travel and have fun together. Have you ever wondered if you've ever come into contact with someone who was HIV infected? How would you know by looking at someone, whether they were carrying the HIV virus? The tribal Community Health Education Team is available to provide information and education about this serious health condition. Carolyn Wewa and Anita Davis are certified to conduct HIVAIDS basic education to anyone wishing to learn more about HIVAIDS. What is HIV? HIV stands for Human Immuno-deficiency Virus. This means the virus can be passed from person to person, and humans are able to get the virus. This particular virus attacks key elements of a person's immune system, causing that women count. 2. Few women really think they 're beautiful or beautiful enough. For example, a married woman might gaze at pictures of her wedding, when she was a thin young woman in love with her new husband. Now when she looks in the mirror, she sees an overweight mother of two. Her clothes are actually only one size larger than they were on her wedding day six years earlier, but she sees herself as fat. Despite decades of feminism, women get the message that it still pays to be beautiful, just as in the days of fairy tales. With all the pressure to be young and attractive, even the most beautiful women can feel that they come up short, and go to pieces when they gain a few pounds or notice a few wrinkles. It can be difficult for a man to understand why a woman doesn't think she's pretty when she looks perfectly fine to him. But telling her she's beautiful in some vague way doesn't help. She needs a specific compliment "I like that haircut" or "You look great in red." By focusing on the details, a man demonstrates that he is paying attention, really looking at her, and this is the kind of comment that can boost a woman's self-esteem. The corollary is not to answer with complete honesty questions like "Am I too fat?" or "Do I look old?" Instead, answer with love. Positive feedback gives a woman incentive to dress up, which in turn can help keep romance alive. 3. Women are serious about work. On the job, we expect equal pay for equal work. Work gives a man identity and status. The same often holds true for a woman. We want our husbands and boyfriends to take our jobs as seriously as they take their own. In one instance, a registered nurse followed her sales-executive husband around the country as he climbed the corporate ladder. Each time he was transferred, the wife found a new support in our loss of beloved mother Marcus Sooksoit, Georgena Suppah, Ethel Marquez and daughters, Sylvianna and Rosanna, Crystal Cloud, Douglas Ike, Lewis Henry, Jr. and sons, Justin and Todd. Many thanks and love is extended to Mr. & Mrs. Nelson Moses for their assistance, knowledge, advice, con tributions and emotional support. Thank you Dennis Karnopp for the kind and loving words spoken at the cemetery, as well as the friendship extended over the years. We would like to thank those who brought tra ditional foods, the deer, roots, ber ries, and those who provided dona tions of the abundant food and gro ceries. Many thanks to the pallbear ers, drummers and dancers, those who served the final traditional meal and those who rode on the truck to the cemetery on our mother's final journey to her final place of rest in Seekseequa. Thank you members of the shaker church for services after the funeral which provided comfort to the entire family. There are so many people who helped us in our time of need. We will truly miss our mothergrand mother and we will be eternally grate it to become weakened. The body that normally would be able to fight off HIV ultimately becomes ineffective against the virus. In many cases, people infected with HIV may not feel sick for a very long time. HIV sort of "hides out" once it is in your system, waiting, sometimes for many years to take direct action against the immune system. Once immunity is depleted, people may begin getting sick with a number of "opportunistic" infections. Opportunistic infections are infections that "seize the opportunity" of a person's weakened immunity to take over. In most cases, the body reaches a state where the virus has attacked the antibodies, which would normally help us fight off infection. The virus infects the antibodies to such a degree, that the antibodies ultimately become ineffective against the virus. The condition of AIDS happens after a person has been infected with the virus, and the body is no longer able to fight off infections. Several factors or symptoms lead to a diagnosis of having AIDS, or Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome. In many flyers, poster, and informational material you will often see the letters HIVAIDS together. It is very important to know that you cannot get the condition of AIDS, without first being infected by HIV, the virus. HIVAIDS affects really want? position for herself. Because the family was focused more strongly on the father's career, he tended to think that his wife's jobs were just jobs. It wasn't until she received an award from her hospital during Nursing Recognition Week, and he heard her tearful acceptance speech, that he realized how emotionally attached she was to her profession. "I felt embarrassed," the husband recalled. "Everyone was applauding and cheering for a woman I didn't know at all." Now the executive makes a point of really listening when his wife talks about her work. Not surprisingly, their relationship has grown because of the improved communication. 4. women need a sympathetic ear. A simple conversation can be a different event to a man and a woman. For a man, a conversation is a way to define a problem, debate the rights and wrongs, and find a solution. To do that, he may repeatedly interrupt he woman until she "understands" the point he's making. But a woman would rather have a friendly ear from a man, instead of advice. Women more often view conversation as a way of sharing their emotions with the listener. They talk until they feel better. One woman I met, who commutes a long distance to work, returned home during a snowstorm and told her husband how nervous it made her to drive on back roads in the snow. "Well, you should take the interstate," replied herhusband. "It's an extra 15 miles, but it's worth it." The woman knew the location of the interstate. She wanted from her husband an acknowledgment of her anxiety "I know, it can be pretty lonely out there" accompanied, perhaps, by a welcome-home hug. A man who wants to get through to a woman conversationally needs to tap into emotions rather than solutions. And, often, that can mean just listening. Men stay away from personal and emotional issues, which is exactly ful to those who provided us with added memories to cherish and strength to continue on and as we rebuild our shattered lives. Sincerely, Family of Ellen Henry Johnson Children: Joseph & Althea Henry, Laurain Hintsala, Colleen, Carolyn & Theron C Johnson Many thanks to To the editor, To our people, a heart felt "Thank You" for all the prayer service held for beloved family member. Grand mothers Laura Sty wer, Evelyn Dick and Gladys Thompson. The hours that you all shared with us through out her illness and while she was at the Mt. View Hospital and in state at the Longhouse. All you beautiful doctors and nurses who gave your time willingly and with an angel's patience, not only with our ill family member but also sharing kind words with the fam ily. You surely are beautiful people. Thank you to the people who took care of the dressing for us. Such an honorable approach you all used. Ramona Starr, Margaret Boise & Larry Dick. Thank you Irene Towe for the beautifully crown and side piece. The cooks, Carol Dick and her sisters, Priscilla Blackwolf, you all did a superb job with what there was, as funds were very limited. Thank you, to all the drummers virus, for the sake your family people differently. In determining whether a person has AIDS, the number of opportunistic infections that have occurred, and whether a person's blood count has dropped to a certain level are factors that contribute to the diagnosis of AIDS. To date, our local communities have not been devastated by the loss of many people through AIDS. But, what does the future hold for us? The age when our children become sexually active is becoming younger and younger. To what degree does intravenous drug use, or sharing of needles play a part in transmitting this virus, within our community? How do we prevent ourselves from becoming infected? The very first thing is to understand that it is preventable. We all can make choices in our lives to safeguard ourselves from getting the virus. Transmission of this virus is important to understand. HIV is a blood to blood virus. HIV has to "get out" of one body and "get into" another body, before necessary preconditions for transmission are met. (For the virus to be passed on to another person.) Some ways for this to happen is through sharing of bodily fluids. Once you take a class on Basic HIVAIDS Education, you will learn the specific bodily fluids that can contribute to infections, and how a person can come into contact with these. where women like to steer their conversations. Women are interested in the players each other. The men are interested in the action. Neither is right or wrong. Both partners in a marriage but especially men should be aware that words are typically perceived more negatively than they were intended. A mild compliment will be thought of as a neutral statement; and a neutral statement will be heard as negative. Positive statements can prevent many misunderstandings and mean a lot to marital happiness. Stuart Johnson, former director of family therapy and social work at the Yale Psychiatric Institute, advises couples to take extra time to talk about themselves not about the kids or their jobs. For half an hour the wife talks about herself and he listens. Then the husband talks about himself for half an hour. These hours of communication interrupt the usual, practical dialogue between married partners, allowing them to discover each other anew. Eventually it can bring back the excitement of the courtship days when they were first getting acquainted. 5. Women don't fall in love as easily as men do. Men tend to be romantics, often falling in love more quickly than women, who tend tc focus on practical considerations ir choosing a mate. Women are looking for long-term qualities in a partner. Far more than ties in a partner. Far more than men, their hearts ache for love, they carry around an inner evaluator who asks, Can I count on this man? So any man who hopes to sweep a woman off her feet had better lengthen his timetable, and pay as much attention to characteristics such as kindness and dependability as he does to his hair, his clothes and his savoir-faire. 6. Women are good problem solvers. Men and women solve Continued on page 10 grandchildren: Marc, Josephine, Alex, James, Jace, Gerald, Roxanne Brian, Crystal, Paulette, Vernon, Rebecca, Joseph, Clara, Jessica, Kamianna & Andrew Great grandchildren: Lauren & Alexis; son-in-laws: Harry Hintsala, Wally Lujan and Aaron Arthur many people for your beautiful sons-bell ringers, Pierson Mitchell, Rex Robinson, Wilson Wewa Jr., job well done. Mary Ann Meanus for her Wass Klick services (could have danced al night). Hilda Culpus and Josepha Crowe for your help with dishes and neces sities for the home. Margaret Boise for your loving help. A very big loving thanks to the diggers, Alex Tohet and his bunch. The WSPD (Stoney Miller) for helping us to bring our family mem ber home twice to see her mom while sne was sun wun us, men upon ner passing, bringing her home for the funeral Vnn marfa that nrtccihlp fnr 1 '.L .1 I funeral. You made that possible for the family to be together. Thank you. Thank you to the Utilities for the constant cleaning of the Longhouse while in use and the use of the "big white truck". Thank you WSPD for the escort for our loved one when you were needed. From all the Marilyn Lawrence family There are also high risk activities that may play a part in transmission. What makes up a high risk activity can also be learned through Basic HIVAIDS Education course. Back in the early 1980's the first reported cases of HIVAIDS began surfacing. No one can say where the virus originated from, but today, the important thing to remember is that HIVAIDS is here; we must learn to live with it; educate ourselves about it; and make choices on how we will allow or not allow it to invade our lives. Community Health Education staff is available to any department, family or individual, to share Basic HIVAIDS Education. If you would like to know more about HIVAIDS, please feel free to contact our office. Carolyn (553-2542), and Anita (553 3425), are available at your convenience to conduct sessions. In a time of many changes, we must begin to stand back and honestly look at the survival of our Indian Nations, our families, and ourselves. In a time when we have at our fingertips the information to keep safe and healthy, we individually must make a decision of the path we will walk. For the sake of our People, and our children, please allow yourselves to become informed. Learn about HIVAIDS before it is too late. What's happening.... Scientists suing Corps for skeleton YAKIMA, Wash. (AP) Eight prominent anthropologists are seeking an injunction in federal court to keep the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers from returning a 9,200-year-old human skeleton to five American Indian tribes who claim it as an ancestor. The complaint filed late Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Portland says the corps failed to use adequate scientific evidence to determine whether the skeleton was truly an ancestor of any existing tribes. It contends the scholars' rights were violated because they have been denied access to the skeleton since the corps took custody of it last month. "Human skeletal remains that are 9,000 years old are extremely rare," the lawsuit says. "Richland Man represents a national treasure which, if carefully studied, can provide information important to an understanding of the peopling of the Americas and human evolution in general." Attorney Alan Schneider of Portland, representing the anthropologists, said he expected a hearing Tuesday on a temporary restraining order. The skeleton was found on corps controlled land in Kennewick, and the agency intends to return the bones to the tribes under the Native , . . , Samish tnbe re9ains SEATTLE (AP-A U.S. District judge has restored full federal recognition to the 500-member Samish Indian Tribe, fixing a 27-year-old clerical error. Judge Thomas Zilly also found an Interior Department lawyer, Scott Keep, in contempt for his handling of the Samish case. "The Samish people's quest for federal recognition as an Indian tribe has a protracted and tortured history, and their long journey for recognition has been made more difficult by excessive delays and government misconduct," Zilly wrote in this week's ruling. The Samish have been in legal limbo since 1969, when a clerk at the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs inadvertently left the tribe's name off a list of federally recognized tribes in the state. Official recognition by the U.S. government gives tribes status as dependent, sovereign nations and access to federal money. "There's a tremendous sense of vindication," Russel Barsh, a lawyer for the tribe, said of Zilly's decision. The Interior Department in May had recognized the Samish as a tribe but deleted a judge's earlier findings on some issues important to the tribe, such as its interest in ancestral territory. Zilly four years ago had ordered the Interior Department to conduct a hearing to determine the Samish Tribe's status. In the hearing, an administrative law judge ruled that the Samish should be recognized and defined the tribe's interest in ancestral i i .j PHnCIDal 01117060 I I PINON, Ariz. (AP) A high school principal will face disciplinary action for saying any student who spends money on drugs is a "dumb Indian." Pinion High Principal Louis Jumper, who is white, made the remark during a school assembly last week. He later apologized for the comment, which his wife said grew out of frustration with students smoking on campus. But about 100 of the school's 450 students walked out of classes Monday to protest Jumper's remark. On Tuesday, angry parents blocked a highway into the Navajo Reservation community, forcing school buses to turn back, One parent among the six protesters carried a sign that read: "We're Not Dumb Indians." Telephone calls to Jumper's home Wednesday were not answered. Oklahoma tribes receive victims grants OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) Six Oklahoma Indian tribes were awarded victim assistance grants Thursday by the U.S. Department of Justice to establish and expand programs. "Today's grant awards will provide tribal governments in Oklahoma with enhanced tools to intervene on behalf of Native American women in distress," said Assistant Attorney General Laurie Robinson. "Working in partnership with tribal governments, we will be able to build on community resources to strengthen access to justice for Indian women." The grants are awarded under the STOP Violence Against Indian American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act of 1990. The remains possibly the oldest complete skeleton found in the Northwest were discovered in July byjlwo men wading in the Columbia River in a Kennewick park about 70 miles southeast of here. The complaint says the skeleton is commonly known as "Richland Man" despite having been discovered in Kennewick. A forensic anthropologist examined the bones, ana carbon dating placed their origin at about 7300 B.C. Tribal leaders say further study would be disrespectful, and that age and physical characteristics don't matter. They argue the remains should be buried by Indians during a special ceremony. The complaint seeks both to stop the corps' plan to turn the skeleton over to the tribes and to obtain access to the skeleton so it can be studied. It also asks the judge to order extensive scientific study to verify any future claims under the federal Repatriation Act. Dutch Meier, spokesman for the corps' Walla Walla district, said his agency had not yet been formally served with the complaint by late Thursday although he had seen a copy of it. , t federal recognition territory that included parts of the San Juan Islands and parts of Whatcom and Skagit counties. When the Interior Department granted the tribe recognition, it deleted the administrative law judge's finding on the ancestral territory, blocking any attempt by the Samish to get surplus federal land. Zilly found that Ada Deer, assistant secretary of the Interior Department, met privately with Keep before she deleted the ancestral territory finding. Federal law required that such a meeting be done in public with the knowledge of the Samish. Keep was prohibited from participating in Deer's decision because he served as an advocate for the Interior Department, which had opposed recognition for the tribe. In his decision this week, Zilly took the unusual step of not returning the case to the Bureau of Indian f Affairs for more legal proceedings, saying he had no confidence the agency would follow his instructions. "This case presents unusual circumstances that make a remand inappropriate," Zilly wrote. "The proceedings before the Bureau of Indian Affairs have been marred by both lengthy delays and a pattern of serious procedural due process violations." Zillyordered Keep to refrain from any future proceedings with the Samish. Barsh said the tribe will now pursue benefits lost in the years they were notrecognized, including health care, housing and cultural resources ana support for tribal government. r i TOP rentelX The governing board of the Pinon Unified School District met for six hours Tuesday to discuss Jumper's remark and other issues concerning the principal. District Superintendent Larry Wallen, who also is white, said Jumper met with students later and apologized but faces disciplinary action for his comment. In addition, the school board voted Tuesday to hire an independent investigator to look into allegations that Jumper had a physical confrontation with a student. The investigator will report to the school board on Nov. 6. Wallen said he will meet with the school's student council on Thursday to talk about their concerns. He also said the board will hold a special forum during its Nov. 6 meeting to discuss the school's dress code, which bans baggy clothes or anything considered to be gang related. Women Grant program, which is in its second year. Initiatives include training tribal police officers in crisis intervention, improving tribal justice systems, establishing emergency shelters and safe houses and developing educational programs. The Justice Department awarded $84,000 each to the Cheyenne Arapaho Tribes of Oklahoma, the Miami Tribe of Oklahoma and the Ponca Tribe of Indians of Oklahoma, $80,250 to the Chickasaw Nation and $9,000 each in supplemental funds to the Muscogee (Creek) Nation and the Osage Nation. Both tribes had received $75,000 grants last year.