SpilyayTymoo
Alcoholism, drug addiction cause woman to lose more than self-respect, -identity
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3 owns, successes and failures shape a lifetime, I was drunk. I had the courage to stand up
sometimes for tlie better, sometimes for Hie for myself. But in the long run, I was too
worse. Many individuals become powerless ashamed to face those people because of
victims by merely being in the wrong place at the stupid things I did or said while I was
the wrong time having no tools with which to drinking that bottle or can of courage.
manage adversity, iucn is tne story you are mm una w mnjr i u i
The abuse
began when she
was 7 or 8.
"I have forgiven
him. He's doing
his own suffering
now. I'm pretty
sure he has
regrets about it."
about to read. The
individual will re
main anonymous,
through necessity,
for fear of serious
personal injury.
All tliatwillbe told
about her identity
is that site is a 28-year-old
tribal
member and a life
long resident of the
reservation. In her
relatively short life,
"Tina", as she will
be referred to, has
learned that above
all, honesty is the
only way to sur
vive; the only way
iobevinthehealing
process that will
hopefully help her
to overcome the many losses she has faced. She
also tells her story to help others maybe, just
maybe, she says, someone will read it and take
a closer look at their lifestyle.
Tina was bom in 1967. Her life as a
child was "decent", she says. Decent is a
generous word considering she was
sexually molested by two family mem
bers when she was seven or eight. The
molestation lasted for about a year, Tina
remembers. "I tried to tell my mom but I
was threatened and beat up. I have for
given him. He's doing his own suffering
now...I'm pretty sure he has regrets about
it."
As a grade school student at Warm
Springs Elementary, Tina "didn't fit in"
with her classmates. "I was always made
fun of, and beat on by them." Tina feels
tuio mA tVio mnloctaHnn mav have been
the beginning of her downward spiral, things people prob-
"Since then, I haven't really like myself. I ably wouldn't miss."
was a loner throughout my school years Tina would sell or
with low self-esteem, no friends and low hock items for what
grades." money she could get
I was a dropout and started in Alternative "Although I was probably discovered by
i t: n AtU.u-. Aittarant rwrsrns. thev told me nothing.
members to alcohol.
"After so many years
of drinking and see
ing so many lives
taken because of
drinking, I slowed
down."
However, there is
a more powerful an
tidote for pain co
caine. "I was intro
duced to cocaine
when I was 21 while
doing some labor
work. I loved outdoor
work and I also loved
my kids, a lot. As my
use of coke increased,
the interest in my
work and responsi
bilities decreased." At
first, the cocaine was
offered to her at a re
duced cost or even free. "I was working
by now so what little cost the cocaine was
didn't matter. I could afford what I used
and I made sure that I
had plenty of friends
who would share
their cocaine with me
if I didn't have the
money....Soon those
friends ran out too."
The ever-increasing
need for a fix and
a higher high far out
weighed all sanity
and reasonableness
and controlled every
aspect of her life. She
began stealing to
support her habit.
"Little things at nrst,
"I tried to stay
away from the
coke but I
couldn't. I
dumped
everything for
;he new love of
my life-cocaine."
my life, cocaine....I thought of these things
when I was snorting my last quarter,
u.. awani uiinHnur in mv hnnse
wondering to myself 'Why the hell did
you do it again? $500 in one day and
nothing to show for it.'"
Remorse, shame and guilt pepper
Tina's life. She knows she is ultimately
responsible for her own actions and must
face the consequences. "I was full of guilt
and shame, telling myself 'no more'."
They were empty words, empty prom
ises. She has said these same words many
times and expects to say them again.
She has entered treatment centers four
different times but could not stay straight.
She was 22 or 23 when she entered her
first treatment center. She entered the last
one when she was 27. She completed
three of the four sessions. "I would end
up by myself again thinking the same
thoughts again." If someone really wants
to change, they can. "Some will tell their
counselors half-truths and say what they
think the counselor wants to hear," says
Tina. This helps no one. "Treatment is for
someone who want to learn something
about themselves and to try something
different." She feels treatment should be
reserved for those Iwho really want to
change, not because; they have to.
Coming down off the drug was "very
depressing," and painful for Tina. "I was
; v tired of my way
; of life but I was
v X afraid to die."
JvTina has at-
V tempted suicide
i; many different
V times. "Luckily, I
V didn't succeed."
,: Tina also feels
v anger toward
V herself and her
v dealer. "On more
whpn t AiA fraH mv food use anv more. Someone was released on
stamps, the cocaine was doubled in price, a weekend pass and the inmates were all
because food stamps were not cash." anxious for the person to get back, be
Tina has discovered one important cause heshe would have drugs. I prayed
thine she is not alone in her troubles, for strength to not usc.It worked, be-
. .. a . l
"Throughout all my alcohol and drug
experiences, I thought I was the only one
going through this here in Warm Springs.
I thought I was a no-good person, that I
didn't deserve any better. But I know I'm
not the only one....There are many, many
others who are in
the same boat. We
spend $50, $100,
$500 a day on our
coke habits." More
importantly, Tina
has discovered that
she is not the only
one who is seeking
refuge from a self
destructive lifestyle.
Trouble follows
Tina. She lost her
mother a few years
ago. "Then I was
kicked out of my
house. I found my
boyfriend with an
other woman, my
best friend was
having her own
problems. I was, again, all alone. I had hit
my bottom. That's when I realized I had
to do something for me, tor my kias.
"I say a prayer to
keep the drugs
away from me, a
prayer for my....
friends, my
family, my kids,
myself."
cause the person didn't come back to:
jail." i
Tina has a limited support system. She ;
relies heavily on her counselor at the'
Community Counseling Center and;
prayer. But, she feels she has no best,
friend on whom she ;
can rely when'
things get really;
tough. Lack of self
esteem has also led
Tina into abusive;
relationships. Men;
have beat her up!
and verbally;
abused her. "I
would push and
push until my man
would beat me.
Then, he would feel
really bad and be
gin to cry and then
treat me nice." It;
was the one way;
she knew she could
get positive attend
tion from her mate
As she looks;
back on her life, Tina feels her diseased
began when "I was very young, not too;
long after I was sexually molested. You
Tina has developed a sense of self- see, it begins with the children. My goal is
appreciation. She must continually "con- to fight this disease, to learn to be respon-
vthan one occa-
sion, while in
Madras, shop
ping for grocer
, ies, with what
little money or
:t food stamps I
$ had left, I would
I almost go into a
rage, seeing my
drug dealers
there loading up with carts and carts of
vince" herself that she is a "good person,
a human being, a mother, daughter, sis
ter, friend." She no longer wants to use
nor does she want to be "sitting there
alone again, with no money. I am learn
ing to separate myself from my drug ad
dictive behaviors. Now and then, I do
cuss myself out, beat myself up. Then I
think about it. I think about my drug life
and, that if I keep putting myself down,
I'll go right back to drugs, looking for a
false happiness." beli-douDt ana pegin-
sible, to teach my kids, to let my kids
know I'm here for them so they won't
turn to a false hope and happiness as I
did." ;
Tina has learned, also, that she needs
to take care of herself, to "grow up, to
forget, and to forgive myself and others."
She feels one must learn from the past
and then forget it "I have to forgive my
self and stop beating myself up about
past actions such as stealing and lying. J
must forgive my mends and the tamuies
nine to return to her old irresponsible who have done wrong to me and stop
o .. . . , . n. - a cu f.,i iu klrt
FHi iraHon on the reservation." At 16 years
of age, Tina was introduced to pot. "It
helped me to feel better, or so I thought. I
never did accomplish anything at all for
the next four years." Tina used the AE
classes as an excuse to get out of the house
;"just to get stoned." Then, when she was
19, she was introduced to alcohol. "It
' gave me the courage, or so I thought, to
utt l fw mi nnfhinr trrnrpries. Thev had new cars, vans, pick-
They didn't know how to approach me," ups and their kids had new clothes, new
' i ...J., -.rJ nrn " Whia Tina Inst
eave Tina.
Tina has had a hard time understand
ing drug addiction and its affect on her. "I
thought I was going crazy. Why did I
neglect my responsibilities? I tried to stay
away from the coke but I couldn't. I
dumped my kids, my family, my job(s)
gave me uic uuuiagc, niv.ng"v 1
face up to people and tell them what I and my self-respect for the new love of
tnvs. eandv and vov." What Tina lost,
somebody else gained. "I thought of my
family and my kids who had nothing to
eat. I cursed the dealer and their family,
for they were robbing me and my family
of the things we could have had. I spent
all of my money onmy dealer for my
drug. I even exchanged my food stamps
behaviors are "warning signs of my next
fix' Tina says.
Though not a particularly religious
person, Tina has turned to God for help
more than once. "I say a prayer, a prayer
to keep the drugs away from me, a prayer
for my drug addicted friends, for my
family, for my kids, for myself." Tina says
she often feels unworthy of prayer, that
"please" is the hardest word to utter when
she is in need. A recent stay at the Warm
Springs jail was particularly memorable
for Tina. She says "drugs are easier to get
inside of the jail than it is outside....I used
when first in jail. But drugs were the
reason I was in jail and I didn't want to
Need help?
Call the Community Counseling Center at
553-3205
using it as an excuse." She feels the help
she needs will come through intensive
counseling and the "good Lord above."i
Tina sees drug addiction and alcohol;
ism spreading fast, "infecting the young
and old," alike. "It's not just cocaine, but
prescription medications" as well. ;
What the future holds for Tina is un
clear. The bright spots in her life she tends
to downplay include the fact she has her
GED, the fact that she is not on public
assistance, taking in the "free money" as
she calls it, and the fact that she has been
clean for two weeks. Her goal is to go to
school at Lane Community College. "I
don't know if I'll ever do it."
There is concern among community
members that once someone does go to
treatment, the person must come home to
the same destructive environment. There
is no safe place in Warm Springs for those
who have stopped abusing. Tina's advice
to the Warm Springs community: "Be a
team. Do not criticize or punish the per
son but help them. Encourage them."
New BIA fingerprint service offered
! Thanks to a newly established
Bureau of Indian Affairs service, In-
dian tribes and schools can now bet
I ter protect their children by using a
' fingerprint service that will detect
' the past criminal history of prospec
; tive and newly hired employees.
"We are very pleased to announce
; this important and needed new ser
; vice, which will help to ensure the
i safety and well-being of our Indian
' children, says Assistant Secretary for
Indian Affairs Ada E. Deer.
: The BIA's Division of Law En
forcement services has hired Secu
' rity Specialist Kay Hayes to serve as
its liaison with the Federal Bureau of
; Investigation background checks
through the fingerprint service can
contact Hayes at the Division of Law
' Enforcement Services, Operational
' Support Branch, PO Box 66, Albu
' querque, NM 87103 (The office is
located at 123 Fourth Street SW,
Room 217, in Albuquerque). The
; current cost for each fingerprint
search is $22.
Information about procedures and
training is available by calling Hayes
at (505) 766-8000, fax (505) 766
1425. "This is a great opportunity for
tribes to comply easily with The
Indian Child Protection and Family
Violence Prevention Act (Public Law
101-630) and the Crime Control Act
of 1990, Child Care Worker Em
ployee Background Checks (Public
Law 101-647)." says Ted Quasula,
the director of the BIA's Division of
Law Enforcement Services. Under
the Crime Control Act, each Federal
agency and facility, including those
operated under contract, are required
to perform a fingerprint check for
each existing and newly hired em
ployee who provides child care ser
vices to Indian children (under the
age of 1 8). The FBI fingerprint search
includes a check of past state crimi
nal history. However, the FBI search
does not include local or tribal crimi
nal histories.
Pharmacy procedures explained
SpUyay Tymoo
Publisher: Sid Miller
Editor: Donna Behrend
ReporterPhotographer: Saphronia Katchia
ReporterPhotographer: Selena T.Boise
ReporterPhotographer: Bob Medina
Secretary: TinaAguilar
Founded in March 1976
SpUyay Tymoo is published bi-weekly by the Confederated
Tribes of Warm Springs. Our offices are located in the
basement of the Old Girl's Dorm at 1 1 15 Wasco Street Any
written materials to Spilyay Tymoo should be addressed to:
Spflyay Tymoo, P.O. Box 870, Warm Springs, OR 97761
(503) 553-1644 or 553-3274 - FAX No. 553-3539
Annual Subscription Rates:
Within U.S. - $9.00 Outside US. -$ 1 5.00
Spilyay Tymoo 1995
With the move to the new Warm
Springs Health and Wellness Center
in October 1993 the pharmacy de
partment has undergone some
changes. Hopefully we can answer a
few of the questions you've had.
Q. How do I get cold medicine
from the pharmacy?
A. There are forms located on a
table outside the pharmacy. Fill out
the names and chart numbers of the
family members who need medicine
and drop the paper in the slot. This
form can be used for non-prescription
medicine only such as Tylenol,
cold medicine, diarrhea medicine,
diabetic supplies, antacids, bacitra
cin ointment (for minor scrapes) and
athlete's foot cream. You still need
to bring your chart to the pharmacy
to obtain any medications prescribed
by your doctor and some non-prescription
medications such as insu
lin, Mycelex-y and hydrocortisone
cream.
Q. I don't like to wait a long
time for medication refills, what is
the quickest way for me to get my
medicine?
A. Call a day ahead! You can
call our medication refill hotline at
553-2475 24 hours a day and leave
your full name and the medication
you need. Or you can call the clinic at
553-1 196 and ask for the pharmacy
department to tell us what you need.
We prefer that you call a day ahead
(before you run out of your medi
cine) so that we can be certain to
have your medicine ready. This only
works if the doctor authorized refills
for you. Otherwise you may need to
see the doctor to get more medicine.
Q. Do I need my chart to get
Nix?
A. No, just come to the pharmacy
and give us the names of all house
hold members that need to be treated.
We will then supply you with enough
Nix for everyone.
Q. Do you fill prescriptions writ
ten by doctors who don't work at
the clinic?
A. If we have the medicine in our
pharmacy we will fill your prescrip
tion. If we do not stock the medicine
and you were referred to an outside
doctor and you are eligible for out
side care, we will pay for the medi
cine in town. If we do not stock the
medicine and we did not refer you to
an outside doctor we will not be able
to fill or pay for your prescription.
Q. How long will you keep my
medicine in the pharmacy if I can
not pick it up right away?
A. We keep your medicine for 5
working days. If it is not picked up
by then we will cancel the medicine
and send your chart back to medical
records. If your medicine has been
canceled, bring your chart to phar
macy and if appropriate we will reis
sue the medicine to you.
Can you believe it?
Dr. Tom Creelman has
practiced medicine in
Warm Springs 20 years!
Celebrate with him and the Health
and Wellness Center staff
Friday, July 21
at a barbecue and open house
beginning at 12 noon.
Community members are encouraged to attend,
share a meal and a story or two!
Kah-Nee-Ta Highway crash claims two
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A June 24 accident claimed the lives of two children.
On Saturdav. June 24th. 1995 at
noon, officers of the Warm Springs
Police Department were dispatched
to Hwy 3, also known as the Kah-Nee-Tah
Hwy., and Upper Drycreek
Road for a motor vehicle crash.
A Plymouth mini-van, driven by
33-year-old Gerald Hoptowit, Sr. of
Warm Springs, was north bound on
Highway 3 when he attempted to
make a left turn onto Upper Drycreek
Road. As he made the turn the ve
hicle was struck on the passenger
side by a south bound Nissan pickup
driven by 41 -year-old Mohammed
Fani of Seattle, Washington.
Another passenger in the mini
van three year-old Gerald Hoptowit
Jr., and the driver, Gerald Hoptowit
Sr. were transported By Warm
Springs Fire and Safety to ML View
Hospital in Madras.
Monammed Fani and his wife
Judith were also taken to Mt View
Hospital but were later transferred to
SL Charles Medical Center in Bend.
The cause of the crash is still un
der investigation by members of the
Warm Springs Police Department,
Bureau of Indian Affairs, FBI, and
the Oregon State Police.