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About Spilyay tymoo. (Warm Springs, Or.) 1976-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 20, 1991)
Spilyay Tymoo Warm Springs, Oregon September 20, 1991 PAGE 7 How to change your lonliness in to a good feeling of "aloneness" Almost all people feel lonely at least some of the time. It is perfectly natural to feel lonely as a relationship ends. There may also be other factors that influence your feelings of loneliness. Several events may lead to feeling lonely, and you may have experienced several of them recently. They include moving, the loss of fnends, being by yourself on holidays, loss of income or even lossof a job. If you have had more than one of these experiences, your loneliness may be intensified. But perhaps you say, "So what, if 1 have good reasons for being lonely? I 'm still lonely and I want to feci different. Is there any hope for me?" The answer is yes. You can manage your loneliness. First you'll have to develop some skills for coping. It will take some effort, things won't change overnight but you'll gradually nouce a difference in how you think, act and feel. Children can be a source of joy and provide you with a sense of worth but they do not eliminate feelings of lone liness completely. We yearn for rela tionships in which there is a sense of equality.of give and takeamong adults. Our children depend on us, but we do not depend on them in the same way. This is not to say that children cannot be a comfort. They're just not enough. Wc seek some adult companionship to reduce our loneliness. We have two words to describe being alone. They are solitude, which refers to feeling peaceful and Quiet within ourselves, and loneliness, which suggest feelings of discomfort, bore dom or sadness. As you think about your current situation, do you feel solitude or loneliness? What do you do when you feel lonely? You probably try several things to rid yourself of those feelings. Some of the most effective methods of deal ing with loneliness are: listen to music, write, work or study, exercise, walk, work on a hobby, read and play music. One way you can deal with loneli ness is to use it to develop yourself. Can you use more of the above activities? Beins comfortable when vou're alone takes time. Your first few moments of silence after the children have gone to bed at night or when they are away on weekends may bring feelings of fear, emptiness or panic. Your initial rcac- uon will likely be the desire torun away from the silence. Carin Rubcnstcin and pawning, and so forth. Of course, seeking such solitude is difficult for newly single parents. Solitude is possible in pan because we have a sense that we arc connected with the world and others; having just suf fered the loss of a relationship reminds us of how fragile our connections with others are. Solitude will not come easily Philip Shaver in their book on toncli- but it will come. You must be pauent ncss write, inin 01 yourscu wiui wim yourseu ana not expect busstui yourself, not without someone else.' they suggest that you relax, listen to music that suits your feelings, and en joy being with yourself. Find something engaging to do hobbies, reading, music, exercise, writing, working, peace within a week or even a month. Information provide by: OSU Extention Service Warm Springs Offico StJ& Positive self-image very important icm oiiu icss mnenncss. To be alone and to conquer lone liness is to build a private strength." Don't conceal death from your children Explaining the death of a family member toacWIdis difficult, but sooner or later all children come in contact with death. It's important that someone in the family be prepared t explain il To be of real help, adults must face death realistically themselves. A parent who tries to hide grief for the supposed sake of the child is not helping the child. It's healthy for a child to participate in family sorrow and to see a parent's grief. It's difficult to see a parent feel ing sad, but far more distressing for a child to see parents display a "business as u AiaT attitude when they are hurting inside. You need t be clear in what you say.. Children who are told "grandma has gone to sleep," may be afraid of going to sleep, fearing they may never wake up. If you tell children that a relative has "just gone away," they will often feel that they have been deserted. If a relative dies in the hospital, some children fear that anyone who goes to the hospital will never come back, to say someone died because he or she was Ul may cause undo worry for Causes, cures given for bothersome heartburn The most common cause of heart burn is "gastrocophagcal rclux" the backup of stomach content into the lower esophagus, where gastric acids produce a burning sensation and dis comfort. This can occur when there's too much pressure in your stomach or somctimcsa loosening of the muscle band (sphincter) separating the esophagus from the stomach during the digestive process.' Nearly everyone experiences heartburn once in a while, so there's usually no need to be concerned. Re peated relaxes can, however, lead to injury of the esophageal lining If you frequently have heartburn, the follow ing steps can help prevent or alleviate it. Most obvious: Don't overeat Avoid tight clothing, especially waist-pinching belts. nal pressure. Increasing your fluid and fiber intake will help. Don't cat just before retiring, or lie down for a nap right after a meal. It helps to stay upright for at least several hours after eating. Put the force of gravity to work don't sleep flat Try elcvaung the head of your bed by at least six inches. (Wood blocks or a couple of fat phone books under the bed frame legs should do the trick.) This may be the single most important mechanical alteration heartburn sufferers can make. Limit your fat intake, since fat slows the emptying of the stomach. If you're prone to heartburn or have eaten a heavy meal, avoid chocolate, alcohol, peppermint and spearmint Highly flavored after-diner liqueurs, often thought of as aids to digestion, may be an irritant as may be tomatoes and citrus fruits and juices. Birth control pills, antihistamines, valium and other drugs can promote heartburn. If you are taking prescription drugs, ask your doctor if they might be the cause of your heartburn. Wedon'twant to sound repetitious, but don't smoke. Nicotine adversely affects the tone of your esophageal sphincter and thus can contribute di rectly to heartburn. If discomfort continues or recurs frequently, see your doctor. children the next time they become ill. Although there is no easy, foolproof way to tell a child about death, it's important to be truthful and as gentle as possible. Very young ch ildrcn up to the age of five or six simply cannot under stand the finality of death. To them death is like going to sleep, or going away on a trip. So, they may take the new quite casually at first Don't be concerned. Younger children also are not as well-rooted in reality as the older children. Witchcs.evils and magic may exist for the younger child. Thus, the child may feel that angry wishes, such as "I wish you were dead!" have cone true, or "bad" deeds of his or her own caused the person to die. Real comprehension usually does not seem to begin until the age of seven or eight And with it can come fear of death itself, not merely sadness over the loss of a much-loved person. Make it clear that all sick people don't die. Reassure children that they are not to blame for the death. Also, children need to feel they are not for gotten in the family's mourning. One of the biggest jobs you'll have as a teen is to grow yourself up. Not that you shouldn't have help from your parents, teachers and others. It's just that only you can find out who you are and where you want to go in life. And if you don't do that now, while you're still in the process of growing up all around, it won't be any easier or better later on. What we'll be discussing here are some of (he feelings and situations you may be experiencing under standing them, dealing with them, and making them work for you. Your self-esteem is how you feel about yourself privately how much you like or dislike who you are. But while this feeling is your ownjt is greatly influenced by others. Have you ever noticed that the way you feel about yourself depends upon now others, es pecially your friends, react to you. If you go to school looking not-quite-right, for instance, does it seem as if everyone notices? Or if a teacher makes you feel dumb, does it seem like you've always been stupid and always will be? Believe it or not, it's not uncommon or weird to feel that way. Most young people see themselves as they imagine others sec them. If you think those who are important to you like the way you look and think, you will feel like a worthy person. If, however, you get the opposite message that others don't like how you look, act or think you will feel worthless. And we all know, at least to some degree, how terrible that is. Allow children to make mistakes Parents should not make it too diffi cult for a child to make a mistake. For example, you and your child may dis agree about a course in school that he wants to take. After considering the benefits and drawbacks, he still prefers his own choice. If the course turns out to be a "bummer" this is not the time to say or imply "I told you sol" Such a response can make a child fearful of making a decision and accepting a possible undesirable outcome. A good night's sleep makes a difference in individuals' lives Try to avoid constipation, since straining at stool ca increase abdomi- Tetanus is a totally preventable disease MYTH: A tetanus shot in child hood protects for life FACT: Tetanus immunization protects for abut 10 years. Known commonly as lockjaw, tetanus is a bacterial infection that results in muscle paralysisand sometimes death. Caused by a bacillus that lives in soil and can thrive in any deep puncture wound, away from oxygen, tetanus is entirely preventable. Because immunization is so widespread, relatively few cases occur in this country anymore. But of the 147 cases reported in 1985-1986, the great majority (71) occurred in people over 50. Tetanus is not necessarily fatal, but half those over 50 who contract the Most everyone looks forward to a good nights sleep. Although sleep patterns change as we age, sleep that is disturbed and unrefreshing is not an inevitablepart of aging, says Vicki L. Schmall, OSU Extension gerontology specialist Troubled sleep may be a sign of a physical or emotional problem, such as, an enlarged prostate in men or de pression. The normal sleep cycle consists of twodifferentkimlsofslccp: REM (rapid eye movement or dreaming sleep) and non-REM (quiet sleep). For older per sons, the amount of time spent in the deepest stages of non-REM sleep decreases. disease die from it The Centers for Disease Control concludes that cur rently "tetanus is primarily a disease of older adults" and that most adults over 60 are not adequately immunized. Boosters should be given routinely to adults every 10 years at mid-decade 1 5, 25, 35 and so forth. (Any age would do, but mid-decade is a convenient marker.) In addition, if you get a puncture wound oradcep ragged wound, be sure to see your doctor immediately about getting a booster. If you end up in an emergency room with a wound, you'll probably be given a booster, if you're not ask if it would be a good idea. Bad days are common Even good people, on bad days, will lash out at those they love most their children. A baby who won't stop cry ing in the middle of the night is brutally shaken and seriously injured by her mother who has had another awful day at work. A young boy is slapped re peatedly by his father, who, on this day , was turned down for a raise he badly needed. Bad days. We all have them. When stress builds and you're about to lash out stop. Take time out don't take it out on your child(ren). Phone or visit a friend. Chop some wood. Take a walk, i Thumb through a magazine, newspa per or book. The main thing is, when you're really on edge don't take hold of your child until you get hold of yourself. Although the amount of sleep each person needs varies widely, the range usually falls between seven and eight hours a night While individual re quirements remain fairly constant throughout adulthood, aging does re duce the amount of sleep one can ex pect to get at any time. By age 75, for a variety of reasons, some people may find they are waking up several times each night Getting a good night's sleep can make a big difference in the quality of one's life. Schmall says that no matter what your age, if you are so tired during the day that you cannot function nor mally and if this fatigue lasts for more than twoor three weeks, see your family doctor or a sleep disorder specialist for a complete evaluation. When a decision does not work out well, parents can be most helpful by pointing out that no matter how care fully a decision is contemplated, an undesirable outcome will sometimes occpr. In an uncritical tone, you might ask your child to think about whether there is anything he might have con sidered that would have led to a better decision.. Of course, this should be done in the spirit of helping him to make a better decision next tune. Finally, it helps to encourage chil dren to try to make the best of a bad situation rather than give up looquickly. If it's always too easy to make a new choice and not experience the conse quences of poor decision making, there is less incentive to give good time and thought to decision making. Good tips for Halloween tricks, treats Fast foods are Support tall, gangly garden plants Don't let autumn weather flatten irt irth rn rlrlrrt your lavonie nower oea oive tau or lOUyfl Uu UieWrS bushy ornamental plants in the home landscape, sucn asaaniias,aciprumums, tree peonies and gladiolas, some sup port against wind and rain. "Stake delphiniums after the foliage at the base of the clump has grown almost to its full height" says Ray McNeilan, Oregon State University Extension home gardening agent Slenderreed or bamboo stakes long enough to extend up to about three Soups can be frozen successfully Many canned and dchydratcdsoups dried herbs such as parsley and chives Most fast-food hamburgers that are loaded with toppings contain too many calories for one meal. Why? Because the beef, cheese and sauce are high in fat A gram of fat has more than twice as many calories as a gram of protein or carbohydrate. So that Big Mac or Whopper is bad news for people who are on diets or who gain weight easily. and bouillon cubes are high in sodium For less sodium, buy those labeled no-salt-added" or "reduced sodium" or make soups as home. Use little or no saltandexperimentwithdifferenttypes of vegetables herbs and spices to en hance flavor. If you have limited time to prepare fresh vegetables and herbs, use frozen vegetables and frozen or Use hand lotion before painting Unless you're the world's best painter when you paint, you probably end up with spattered paint on your hands and arms. Next time you prepare to paint take time to make paint re moval easier. Apply lotion to your hands and arms. Warm, soapy water will be all you need to wash the spatters away. instead. For milk-based soups, use a low-fat milk to keep fat and calories down These soups are a good choice if you don't drink milk as a beverage and need more calcium in your diet For convenience, make soup ahead of time. Soup should be stored in the refrigerator for only two to three days, but can be frozen for longer storage. Frozen soup should be used within three months. Some tips on freezing soups: Keep seasonings mild since freezing increases the strength of some flavors. You can always add more seasonings after thawing. Expect some separation to occur in frozen soups thickened with flour. Stir well when reheating the soup. Expect some vegetables in frozen soup (for example, potatoes) to be slightly soft after reheating. quarters of the full-grown plant's height work best Insert three or four stakes in the ground, and using soft twine, weave a sort of cat's cradle between the stakes about a foot above ground level. Repeat the weave another foot higher on the stakes. This kind of support allows indi vidual stems to grow up between the supporting strands of twine rather than be fastened directly to stakes. De pending on the above-ground length of the stakes, as many weaves as necessary can be added to give the plant good support Plants that send uponly one or a few flowering stalks usually require indi vidual staking. The stake should reach to about three quarters of the plant's anticipated height Insert the stake in the ground at an angle to conform to the natural bend of the plant stem. Bamboo stakes work well for these kinds of plants. Fasten the plant stem to the stake with soft twine, being careful not to force the stem out of its natural position or constrict it in any way. Tie the twine securely around the stake and loosely around the plant stem. For thick and bushy growing flow ers such as tree peonies, the best sup port is a three-legged heavy wire ring that stands about 15 to 18 inches high. The ring holds the stems of the plant upright Rmgsurjpoits can bepurcliased from most garden supply stores. Choose an alternative to striking your child Instead of striking your child, try one of these alternauves. 1. Stop in your tracks. Step back. Sit down. 2. Take five deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Slowly, slowly. 3. Count to 10. Better yet to 20. 4. Phone a friend or relative. Calm down and take the kids to visit 5. Still mad? Punch a pillow. 6. Thumb through a magazine, book, newspaper, photo album. 7. Pick up a pencil and write down your thoughts. 8. Lie down on the floor, or just put your feet up. 9. Turn on the radio. Sing along. Or just sing. 10. Is there someone else to watch the kids? Take a walk. 11. co to another room for a few minutes. 11. go I 12. Go outside and chop some wood. 1. Halloween costumes came into play also in the Middle Ages when church members began dressing up as saints. 2. Civing out treats? Consider handing out two pennies instead of a piece of candy. It s economical ($2.00 if you get 100 children), it contains no sugar, and you will have no problems using any leftovers. 3. If you are going trick-or-treating, make sure all youngsters wear at least one piece of light-colored clothing so they can be seen in the dark. In addition, discuss beforehand how long you intend tostay out, where you will go, and what types of goodies the kids can keep. 4. Whether you're bobbing for apples or handing out treats, have a wonderful Halloween. Take care of yourself and your heart-Exercise regularly 1. Have heart trouble or a heart murmur or have had a heart attack. 1 T T f.. .1 .1 1 .1 set more exercise c inuier, muuicr, uiuuici vi What's on the fall 4-H schedule? September 16-20: 4-H dubs will be starting up so read the Spilyay and call 553-3238 for more information. September 23: Recognition Night for 1990-91 4-H clubs and members. At the Community Cen ter. October, November and December: All 4-H clubs will be meeting; please check with your 4-H leader as to location and time. December 23-Jan. 3, 1 992: Christmas Holiday A thought for the day Tune is not measured by the passing of years but by what one does, feels and achieves. There are many things you can do to stay healthy. One of the most important is to exercise. It costs nothing, but the benefits are great Regular exercise can improve your fitness, appearance and sense of well-being. Your body works better when you use it. Exercise helps your heart, lungs and muscles work hard, which is the best reason for exercising. Other ben efits from exercise are: Lowered blood pressure and stress. Stronger muscles. Moire energy and flexibility Weight control Better posture. There are three basic kinds of ex ercise.Each one benefits you in different ways. Exercises that help you move, bend, stretch and twist easily keep your muscles flexible. Examples of these are yoga and stretching exercises like arm circles and trunk twists. Exercises that help you build muscle strength and endurance include pushups, sit-ups, weight-lifting, and activities like tennis, softball, and bowling. The best exercises to make your heart and lungs strong are aerobic ex ercises. Fast walking, jogging, running, riding a bike and swimming are ex amples. In order to benefit from aero bic exercises, you must do them at least three times a week for at least 15 to 30 minutes each time. Little or no exercise lessens the strength of your heart and lungs. It may also ad to high blood pressure and overweight All of these things can increase your chances of heart disease ad stroke. Other problems that may come from not exercising are: Weak muscles. Bones that break easily Chronic low back pain. Stiff joints and muscles that ache. Lack of energy Aging too easily. There are three things you can do to l.Startaregularprogram of aerobic exercise and stick with it Start slowly and build up over time. 2. Add things to your life that are both fun and include exercise. Try dancmg,bowlmg,skating,ridingabike and hiking. 3. Use every chance you get to mo ve around more at home or work. Walk, don't ride. Take the stairs, not the el evator. When you take a break, do stretching exercises. Before starting an exercise program, see your doctor if you: Cauliflower offers disease protection Cauliflower has a lot going for it Most important like broccoli, cabbage, and Brussels sprouts, it is one of the "cruciferous" vegetables, which may offer protection against colorectal, stomach, and respiratory cancer, ac cording to the American Cancer Soci ety. In addition, one cup of fresh cauli flower (in pieces) supplies more vita min C than an orange-120 of the RDA. It is also high in fiber. At 30 calorics and a mere IS milligrams of sodium per cup , there's hardly an unkind word you can say about cauli flower. Since boiling vegetables saps them ofagoodpartoftheirnutricnts,it'sbest to steam or microwave cauliflower-but only briefly, so that it stays crisp and retains its mild flavor. This vegetable also makes good crudites for dips, though some people have trouble di gesting it raw. When shopping for cauliflower, look for white, firm,.clean florets with no discoloration. The leaves, which should be green and fresh looking, are also nutritious and rich in fiber, try them in soups. sister who had a heart attack before age 50. 3. Often have pains or pressure on your chest, left neck, shoulder or arm during or after exercise. 4. Often feel like fainting or often get very dizzy. 5. Often run out of breath after light exercise. 6. Have bone or joint problems like arthritis. 7. Have any other health problems which might get worse with exercise. Don't put off until tomorrow what you should and can do today. Take a walk after dinner Check the area where you live for an exercise program and sign up. Talk a friend into joining you. Soup combines beef, potatoes, vegetables Beef-Potato Soup 13 pound lean ground beef 3 cups water 1 cup sliced onion 12 cup chopped celery 12 tsp. salt 18 tsp. pepper 1 bay leaf 2 whole cloves 1 12 cups sliced potatoes 12 cup shredded carrots 2 tsp. chopped parsley Brown beef in hot2-quart saucepan. Turn carefully as needed to brown on all sides, keep meat in chunks. Drain fat Add water, onions, celery and seasonings to beef. Bring to boiling, reduce heat and cook slowly for 30 minutes. Add potatoes, carrots and parsley. Cook until potatoes are tender, about 15 minutes. Remove bay leaf and cloves before serving. lli'V 1 ,rfr 'no 'A .TV1 in.q ? 'i : ;h (i . 01): 8 ii'.K- V 1