SPILYAY TYMOO
OCTOBER 11, 1982 PAGE 9
Ways to head off sibling fights Extension
Family Lifelines—
Notes
The fighting and teaching
that goes on among children in
many households often makes
parents uncomfortable. Do we
have to live with this behavior
or should it be stopped? is a
question frequently asked by
parents in this situation.
“Jealousy is at the root of most
preschoolers’ squabbles,” notes
Marcelle Strattman, Oregon
State University Extension
human development specialist.
“Jealousy is an emotion all
adults and children have, but it
has such unpleasant effects few
want to admit it. It makes its
first appearance around 18
months of age when babies
become aware of what’s going
on around them.
When these children notice
mother giving attention to
someone else, a terrible fear of
losing her love envelops them.
Whether the someone else is a
new baby, the husband, or
other children in the family, the
feeling is the same. It’s hard for
children and many adults to
accept the fact that we love
many people. Throughout life
we struggle with jealously—rt
can be controlled but not
eliminated.
The first step in controlling
children’s fights is to look for
cause. If the problem stems
from the child’s fear of losing
your love, you may be
unconsciously neglecting that
child. Are bigger kids picking
on little ones because you stick
up for the little ones and tend to
them more? Do little ones grab
the older child’s toys, which are
more interesting—a symbol of
more love? “Jealousy stems
from anything you do or say
that in a child’s view looks like
the other comes first in your
love,” Straatman explains.
To help children relieve
feelings of jealousy make sure
each child has special time with
you each day. Carry through
on your promise. A walk
around the block, telling a
favored story, helping with
dinner, sitting on your lap, or
praise relieves a child’s feeling
of beling loved or important.
To keep feelings of jealously at
a minimum, void comparisons
with any other children. It feels
terrible to not be as good as
someone else. Some parents
use comparisons to motivate
children to better behavior. It
only leads to feelings of hatred
toward the child with whom
they are compared and develop
urges to get even.
Fighting over scarce toys or
possessions is bound to occur,
Straatman says. Sometimes it’s
wise to let children struggle in
their own way unless there is
danger of physical harm. If a
preschooler hits back or bites
others, hold them to stop the
action. You might say, “I know
you’re angry, but I won’t let
you hurt Danny. Here’s your
ball to throw.”
Five-year-olds often use
unflattering language to hurt
siblings. Try telling them,
“Although we get angry with
each other, we do not talk like
that in this family—we belong
together.” It gives children a
sense of safety in the family to
know you will protect them all
in the same manner.
Fight and bickering among
preschoolers is a normal
reaction to feelings of jealousy.
Parents should assure children
that they are equally loved and
give equal attention to all. This
will prevent children from
bottling up feelings of hostility.
New
from Pennie Albrandt, Lee Hamilton
and Doris Brackett
4-H
This is Nationl 4-H Week—
October 3-9, 1982.
4-H is one of the nation’s
largest and most successful
youth educational programs.
In 4-H, youth have an
opportunity to develop new
interests and skills, make new
friends, practice democracy
and leadership, and have fun.
4-H is a cooperative effort
between volunteer leaders, 4-H
members, 4-H parents, and the
O regon S tate University
Extension Service. Its goal is to
help youth become creative,
productive citizens through
involvement in 4-H project
clubs.
There are a number of 4-H
club that are available to Warm
Springs youth this fall! Now is
the time to join 4-H . “Learn by
doing” along with other 4-H
members in the community.
Several 4-H clubs have been
in existence for the past year or
more; all of them welcome new
members. These clubs include:
♦Rockin’ 4-H Livestock/
Range Club-Learn to care for
your own cow and show to
protect the grass and soil.
♦4-H Culture & Heritage
year
b e g in s
Club-Learn Indian dancing;
older youth may join the
basketball team. This year the
club wants to also start a team
for younger members.
-♦4-H Beadwork Club-Make
your own beaded articles.
•4-H Outdoor/Ski Club-
Learn to ski and go on ski trips
in the winter; learn about the
outdoors and go on hikes and
float trips in the summer.
♦4-H Decorative Painting
Club-Learn to paint and make
things to decorate your home
(or room)
•4-H Sewing Crafts Club-
Make small craft articles and
learn something about sewing
at the same time.
♦4-H Public Speaking Club-
Learn to share information
with groups of people.
♦4-H Rifle Safety Club-
Learn to shoot and handle a
gun safely.
The 4-H Horse Club started
|ast summer. Members do not
have to own a horse to join.
However it is helpful if the
member has access to a horse,
to ride. Some members have
been learning what to look for
when they do buy a horse.
Several 4-H clubs are
starting this fall as well. These
include:
♦Beginning Crochet-Learn
to crochet and make a wapus or
root-digging bag.
•C o n tain er G ardening-
Grow plants indoors year-
round.
•Indian Outfits-Learn to
make wing dresses along with
basic sewing techniques (this
club needs a leader or leaders).
A 4-H Dog club may begin
soon. There is a leader who has
led dog clubs in the past who is
interested in starting a club in
Warm Springs. Interested
people should contact the
Extension Office so we can let
you know when something
happens.
4-H is always on the lookout
for leaders who have skills to
share with youth. It does not
take any special talent or
ability, only a willingness to
spend time working with a
group of young people. Your
local Extension staff will help
you get started. Contact Doris
or Pat at the Extension Office
for more information, 553-
1161, ext. 238.
State Fair Committee—
Evaluate this year’s 4-H State
Fair demonstration trip and
plan for next year.
S im n ash o 4-H M ini-
Marathon Committee—The
Mini-Marathon is an all 4-H
event since the closing of
S im n a s h o s c h o o l. The
proceeds will go to the Warm
Springs 4-H leaders’ Assoc,
account and will be used for
future 4-H programs: The
committee will organize the
mini-marathon.
Fall 4-H Fair Committee-A
new event to be held late
October or early November. It
could conceively become
an annual event. The purpose
would be to provide a fun time
for the whole family, create
more awareness of 4-H in the
community, and provide an
opportunity to recruit new 4-H
members and leaders.
4-H Member Recognition
Committee—Plan the 4-H
members recognition program.
In the past it hasbeen a potluck
dessert. There is money in the
E x te n s io n b u d g e t fo r
recognition items. '
Some of these take more
time and energy than others.
The amount of time you can
give depends on you. But every
little bit helps.
Education classes 4-H planning committee
starting soon
Mark the follwoing two /Oriental Cooking Class
events on your calendar to
Coming to Warm Springs
attend!
for a third time to show us how
to cook easy, inexpensive, low
Machine Maintenance and fat and good tasting oriental
Wing Dress-Making Classes
dishes are Takako Carlson and
This will be a two-meeting Anne Scissons. Takako and
class from 9:00 a .m . to 12:00 Anne live in Beaverton and
noon on two Saturdays, donated their time last spring
October 30 and November 6. to teach two classes that had
The classes will be held at the attendance of over 60 people.
Extension/4-H meeting room Their food was a hit and so
and kitchen in the basement of were they.
the Daycare building.
the latest class to be held
Bring your owri machine if on At
Saturday.
October 23, from
you would like to learn how to
clean, oil and maintain it, or if 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon,
to be prepared are Won
there are parts of your machine dishes
Soup, fried Won Ton,
ou would like to learn how to Ton
. e. If vou don’t have a slamon chowder, yaki-soba
machine, your are welcome to (fried noodles using inexpen
use a machine provided by siv e p a c k a g e d i n s t a n t
soup,/noodles), and suwae
Extension during the class.
(m arinated cucumber and
In addition to learning about seafood). Recipes will be
y o u r sew ing m a c n m e s , available for dishes prepared
instruction will be available on during the classes given in the
making wing dresses from start Spring.
to finish. Each person will
There is a $2.00 charge for
make a dress during the two
classes, There is no charge for the class to cover cooking
this class but participants will supplies. If y ou are interested in
have to supply material for attending this class, come to the
Extension office and sign up
their wing dress project.
and pay the $2.00 fee to
If you are interested in Sandra. There is a 20-person
attending, call your name into limit to the class and the only
Sandra at the Extension office. way a space can be reserved for
Phone: 553-1161, extension you is to pay the class fee when
signing up.
238!
The 4-H program at Warm
Springs is growing. That means
two things: 1) there is more
work to do and, 2) there are
more people to do it. To make
better use of the talent and
good ideas out there, we are
organizing several committees.
Some 4-H leaders have
expressed interest in working
on specific 4-H events or
programs. But you don’t have
to lead a 4-H project to be a 4-H
leader. You could be an
assistant leader, a resource
person, a concerned parent, a
junior leader, or a committee
member. Some opportunities
to contribute your ideas are:
Cover windows
to cut heat loss
Windows bring light into a
Beating
the
cash crunch
much heat from excaping
home. But, according to windows is to cover them with
Extension housing and energy plastic during winter months.
specialist Sue Badenhop, they
Cut pieces of heavy plastic
aren’t very good at keeping the shape of the window to be
heat in. A single-pane window covered,'but large enough so
loses ten times as much heat as that pieces of wood lathe can be
wall area that’s insulated. If stapled down over the edges of
people have insulated their the plastic. This holds the
home, weatherstripped and plastic flat and close to the
caulked and haven’t done window so that less heat
anything to the windows, they escapes around edges and wind
could have thirty-five to fifty can’t tear plastic away from
percent of their heat loss on windows.
their house going through the
Covering windows with
windows in the winter time.
plastic is only a temporary type
Short of boarding up your of insulation, but it can help to
windows, one solution, says keep down the heating bill until
Badenhop, is to install storm a permanent storm window or
windows, or insulated window insulated window covering can
coverings. Another inexpen be found.
sive and easy way to keep so