Willamette week. (Portland, Or.) 1974-current, August 11, 2017, Page 37, Image 37

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    Where to drink this week.
1. Chandelier
Bar
HENRY CROMETT
BAR REVIEW
1451 SE Ankeny St.,
503-841-8345,
chandelierbarpdx.com.
In a space that looks like
the Black Lodge from
Twin Peaks, drink rare
sakes that taste like
you’ve probably never
had them.
2. Urban Farmer
525 SW Morrison St.,
503-222-4900,
urbanfarmerportland.com.
For a steep $20 at this
steakhouse high in the
Nines, you can get the
fi nest Vieux Carré we’ve
ever had in Portland.
3. Breakside
Slabtown
1570 NW 22nd Ave.,
503-444-7597,
breakside.com.
Breakside’s new Slab-
town spot now has a nice
nacho plate and burger
to pair with the great
beer—look for the Happy
Unbirthday lager with
lemon verbena.
529 SW 4th Ave.,
jacklondonrevue.com.
Jazz is back on the west-
side, in the no-nonsense
velvet-curtained base-
ment of classic pool hall
Rialto, lit up with candles
and Christmas lights and
outfi tted with deep vinyl
booths.
DOLLAR THRILLS: October is baseball heav-
en and football’s early-season shakeout, the last
month before Blazers fans get really depressed.
And at your neighborhood Applebee’s (ours is at
1439 NE Halsey St., 503-284-8040, applebees.com),
it’s $1 mothafuckin’ margaritas all day, every day, all
month. Few press releases have ever spurred our editorial staff to swifter
action: We rushed down within minutes of reading about it to drink two
Dollaritas™ apiece, batch-mixed into tupperware and poured into weird
little beer mugs fi lled with ice cubes. The cheap margaritas are here, we’re
told, to remind America that Applebee’s is also a bar. But it is not a bar. The
physical bartop and rail are a horseshoe island in a sea of heavy booths
and heavy eaters. In its clunky corporate reliability and naive huckster
branding—one sign cheerily announces $12.99 all-you-can-eat riblets on
Thursdays—Applebee’s is a retreat from both ecstasy and tragedy. Noth-
ing good or bad is possible here. The half-rack of ribs tastes nostalgically
like those frozen Tony Roma’s ribs my father used to bake in the oven. An
onion-laden burger is so full of fat and sugar, the bun seems to dissolve. A
mere $25 buys a steaming hill of calories, including burger, ribs, mashed
potatoes, fries, green beans and onion rings. And as for those Dollaritas?
They taste a little like lime Kool-Aid. Each little mug is a sweet and sour
bomb lit with a fuse of budget tequila. Four dollars buys the sugar-spinning
buzz of two grown men. The Dollarita is, perhaps, a miracle. The mood
outside these walls may be apocalyptic, but Kansas-based Applebee’s is the
still-smiling face of fake America. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
Killingsworth Dynasty
Whiskey Bar
Quarterworld
Tube
832 N Killingsworth St
31 NW 1st Ave
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd
18 NW 3rd Ave
Cake (hiphop)
Sage Armstrong
VCR TV (heavy synth,
dark dance, soundtrack)
Sunday Funday
4. Creepy’s
627 SE Morrison St.,
503-889-0185.
Creepy’s isn’t creepy,
unless you think the
circus is creepy: It’s
clown paintings, big-
eyed kids and John
Quincy Adams, plus
goofball coff ee cocktails
and a great spicy chicken
sandwich.
5. Jack London
Revue
Lay Low Tavern
6015 SE Powell Blvd
DJ Dad Rock
Moloko
SAT, OCT. 14
45 East
The Goodfoot
2845 SE Stark St
Tropitaal Desi Latino
Soundclash w/ Daniela
Karina, Casual Aztec
3967 N. Mississippi Ave
315 SE 3rd Ave
King Tim 33 1/3 (aqua
boogie, underwater rhymes)
Felix Da Housecat
Quarterworld
Black Book
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd
20 NW 3rd Ave
Quarter Flashback
(80’s vinyl)
The Ruckus (rap, r&b, club)
Spare Room
1332 W Burnside St
4830 NE 42nd Ave
90’s Dance Flashback
The Hustle (disco)
Dig A Pony
Star Bar
736 SE Grand Ave
639 SE Morrison St
Deena Bee (hiphop, r&b)
DJ Smooth Hopperator
Holocene
The Goodfoot
1001 SE Morrison St
2845 SE Stark St
Verified (bass, rap, club)
Soul Stew (funk, soul, disco)
Kenton Club
The Lovecraft Bar
2025 N Kilpatrick St
Black Book
421 SE Grand Ave
20 NW 3rd Ave
NecroNancy
Sugar Town: Spellbound
(r&b, soul)
The Paris Theatre
Killingsworth Dynasty
Dig A Pony
6 SW 3rd Ave
832 N Killingsworth St
736 SE Grand Ave
Friday the 13th (edm)
J-Boogie (japanese dance)
Emerson (hiphop, r&b)
The Secret Society
Mississippi Studios
Star Theater
116 NE Russell St
3939 N Mississippi Ave
13 NW 6th Ave
Jai Ho! Dance Party
Jump Jack Sound Machine:
Monster Mash-Up
Hive (goth, industrial)
1006 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Moloko
421 SE Grand Ave
Waves
3967 N. Mississippi Ave
Valentines
Klavical (modern soul,
heavy breaks, hiphop)
Toffee Club
232 SW Ankeny St
Honesty
DJ Both Josh
Crystal Ballroom
The Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave
Musick For Mannequins
w/ DDDJJJ666, Magnolia
Bouvier & DJ Acid Rick
(sexbeat, halloweenishness)
Valentines
232 SW Ankeny St
Devil’s Pie (hip-hop, r&b)
Whiskey Bar
MON, OCT. 16
Elvis Room
203 SE Grand Ave
DJ Sam FM
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St
Reaganomix: DJ ROCKIT (80s)
Sandy Hut
1430 NE Sandy Blvd
DJ Joel Jett
The Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave
Black Mass (goth, post-punk)
31 NW 1st Ave
Johnny Yono
TUE OCT. 17
Dig A Pony
SUN, OCT. 15
Flux (rap, r&b, club)
The Lovecraft Bar
Kawaii Party Presents:
DWMA Monster Ball
736 SE Grand Ave
Noches Latinas
(salsa, merengue)
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St
Party Damage:
DJ Dave Cantrell
The Embers Avenue
100 NW Broadway
Recycle (dark dance)
The Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave
Sleepwalk (deathrock,
gothrock, post-punk)
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave
Tubesdays w/ DJ Jack
Willamette Week OCTOBER 11, 2017 wweek.com
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