ROUND-UP
Tuesday, September 13, 2016
East Oregonian
Page 7A
Parade with a side of commentary
Duo’s banter
delights audience
By KATHY ANEY
East Oregonian
Miller. Melton.
Melton. Miller.
The surnames of Bob
Miller and Tom Melton are
interchangeable on Dress-Up
Parade day. The duo uncorks
a river of repartee that lows
as they provide running
commentary for parade
spectators.
Miller
and
Melton
started talking about 10 a.m.
Saturday from their broad-
casting platform in front of
the Hamley Steakhouse and
kept up the unbroken banter
for about an hour as the
89-entry parade wended its
way east up Dorion, west on
Court and past their booth.
The parade began with
the Kyle Burnside Memorial
Run. Runners blasted off
the line to the boom of a
cannon and ran the one-and-
a-half-mile route. Miller and
Melton evaluated running
styles and costumes as the
runners passed the broadcast
booth. Costumes ranged
from Captain America,
Darth Vader and a chicken
to Superman and a sumo
wrestler.
In the lull between the
runners and the next group
— a group of Oregon Army
National Guardsmen and a
Bradley Fighting Vehicle —
they waxed poetic about the
Dress-Up Parade.
“This the third largest
parade in the state of
Oregon,” Miller said. “This is
a parade for anyone who ever
wanted to be in a parade.”
The two men can’t
remember how many years
they have provided commen-
tary for the Dress-Up Parade.
“I don’t know … we just
show up,” Melton said. “At
least 20.”
The two obviously have
chemistry, but they like each
other in the way of Jack
Lemmon and Walter Matthau
in “Grumpy Old Men.” They
sling well-timed insults at
one another with inesse.
“We don’t get along that
well,” Melton said. “One
day a year we can stand each
other.”
“It’s like a marriage,”
Miller agreed.
“Except we’re divorced
for 364 days a year,” Melton
said.
Well, 363 days. The
friends also commentate
during Friday’s Westward
Ho! Parade.
Saturday morning, the two
men met at the microphones
about 45 minutes before the
parade start and studied a
cheat sheet of facts about
each politician, business,
band, club or royal court that
would pass by.
The commentators keep
their silver tongues oiled
with tiny sips of strong
Hamley coffee (Melton) or
pure water (Miller). They
restrain the urge to drink
more because there are no
bathroom breaks. Along
with the cheat sheet and the
beverages, they also keep an
umbrella handy.
“When
the
Happy
Canyon guys come by, they
unload 10 pounds of candy at
us,” Melton said. “The kids
gather around us. This year,
we brought an umbrella.”
They
admitted
the
massive volley of Tootsie
Rolls is partly their fault.
“We antagonize them
by calling them a bunch of
weeny arms,” Miller said.
Miller said he treasures
this annual gig that he said
he originally got because he
knew about horses. “I knew
the difference between a paint
and a pinto, a Percheron, a
Clydesdale and a Belgian,”
he said.
The men seek to keep
their low of banter politi-
cally correct.
“It’s got to be politically
correct,”
Melton
said.
“There’s no reason during
this great event to talk poli-
tics.”
The inal entry passed
about an hour after Miller
and Melton had picked up
their microphones. They
signed off with the phrase
every Pendletonian knows,
“Let’er Buck” and the street
went quiet. The Dress-Up
Parade had oficially ended.
———
Contact Kathy Aney at
kaney@eastoregonian.com
or call 541-966-0810.
Staff photo by Kathy Aney
Staff photo by Kathy Aney
Bob Miller and Tom Melton keep up a running banter Happy Canyon Princess
Appollonia Saenz.
during Saturday’s Dress-Up Parade in Pendleton.
THURSDAY, SEPT. 15 th
It is the 11th anniversary of “Tough
Enough To Wear Pink” TM Day. The
funds raised from this event will help
local breast cancer patients both
during and after cancer treatment.
Staff photo by Kathy Aney
Staff photo by Kathy Aney
A horse of many colors walked Pendleton High School’s Rythmic Mode performs
the route of Saturday’s Dress- during the Dress-Up Parade on Saturday in down-
Up Parade in Pendleton.
town Pendleton.
Wear PINK
Custom Montana
Silversmiths Belt
Buckle Raffle!
Staff photo by Kathy Aney
A member of the Pendleton
Round-Up Mounted Band
plays during the parade.
Staff photo by Kathy Aney
More photos online
Staff photo by Kathy Aney
A roller skater passes out A dog walks with the
Hal’s Hamburgers menus Pendleton Pupcakes group
during the parade.
during the parade.
Family Health &
Fitness Day
Custom
Justin
Boots
Raffle!
The Pendleton
Round-Up Association
Would Like to Thank
the Following Sponsors
Gold Sponsors
Something for all ages!
Saturday, September 24
9am-2pm
Hermiston High School
Silver Sponsor
FREE EVENT!
FREE health & wellness event for people of
all ages featuring health screenings,
activities, demonstrations and workshops.
• Blood Pressure Checks
• Colorectal Cancer Screening Kits
• Vision/Hearing Examinations
• Dental Screenings
• BMI & Body Composition Analysis
• Mental Health and Addiction
Services
• File of Life
• Cholesterol Checks (8-10 Hour Fast)
• Blood Glucose Level
• SHIBA (Medicare), Oregon Health
Plan, Veterans Information
• Health-related Classes & Activities
(Cooking Classes, Exercise, Etc)
• Teddy Bear Clinic
• Children's Developmental Screenings
• Community Resource Referrals
• Tobacco Cessation
• Car Seat Clinic
• Alcohol Addiction Resources
Bronze Sponsors
PENDLETON
For more information: Good Shepherd Education Department:
541-667-3509 or healthinfo@gshealth.org
Pink Sponsors