Wednesday, April 1, 2015
PEANUTS
COFFEE BREAK
East Oregonian
Page 7A
DEAR ABBY
BY CHARLES M . SCHULZ
Today is a day to celebrate
biting gators and big tonsils
FOR BETTER OR WORSE
BY LYNN JOHNSTON
B.C.
BY JOHNNY HART
PICKLES
BY BRIAN CRANE
Dear Readers: In honor of April
the class roared. What do you think
Fools’ Day, I’ll share a couple of off-
about this? — George In South Car-
beat letters I’ve received from readers
olina
who have attempted to pull my pro-
Dear George: I think that unless
verbial leg. Enjoy!
her students pay more attention to
Dear Abby: I’m writing to brag
what she’s teaching and less to her
about my boyfriend. He’s a semi-pro-
chest, they may be earning double
fessional alligator wrestler and super
D’s.
brave. It’s a tough job and it takes him
And now ... back to work:
Jeanne
away from home a lot. It’s also a very Phillips
Dear Abby: When does an extra-
dangerous job. He often comes home
marital affair actually start? Is it when
Advice
with bite marks all over his neck and
the two parties involved do the mat-
shoulders, and scratches on his back.
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Want to know something weird about alli- sooner? — Clueless Wife In Canada
gators? Their natural odor smells a lot like
Dear Clueless: A love affair involves more
perfume. When my beau gets back from a than having sex. An extramarital affair begins
WRXUQDPHQWKHRIWHQUHHNVRILW7KH¿UVWWLPH as soon as a man or woman starts sneaking
I smelled it on him, I was worried. But after he around and lying to his or her mate.
explained it to me, it made perfect sense. (Just
Dear Abby: Please settle an argument my
another one of life’s coincidences, I guess.)
ex-husband and I still have. Over the course
We’re so happy together. We have four of our marriage, we had problems. One night
beautiful children, and he promises we’ll get we had a nasty spat, after which he moved out
married soon — right after the next tourna- and never returned. He claims I should have
ment. I know you get lots of letters about bad asked him to move back in. My response
relationships, so I thought I’d let you hear has always been that he chose to leave, so I
about a good one. — Gator Girl In Florida
shouldn’t have had to beg him to come back.
Dear Gator Girl: That’s a good one, all Your opinion, please? — Wondering In
right. You may have thought you smelled per- Crystal Lake, Ill.
fume, but I smell a rat. Be glad your boyfriend
Dear Wondering: In my opinion, you and
doesn’t wrestle cougars because I hear they your ex-husband should stop arguing because
wear indelible lipstick.
DIWHU\RXUGLYRUFHEHFDPH¿QDOWKHTXHVWLRQ
Dear Abby: A teacher at our high school became moot.
took some time off to get a breast augmenta-
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Bu-
tion. Before she left, she told the class she was ren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was
having her tonsils out. When she returned to founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
the classroom with a larger chest, one of the Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com
students cracked, “Nice tonsils!” Of course, or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
DAYS GONE BY
BEETLE BAILEY
GARFIELD
BLONDIE
BY MORT WALKER
BY JIM DAVIS
BY DEAN YOUNG AND STAN DRAKE
100 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
April 1, 1915
“Two horses have already gone mad and
been killed and I suppose others will die too.”
The sentence is contained in a letter received
this morning by Douglas Belts from his son,
Berne Belts, who is running stock on the mid-
dle fork of the John Day near Galena, relative
to the rabies situation there. He tells of renting
some pasture land to another man and it was
this latter’s horses that developed madness and
died. Before dying, he writes, they bit a half
dozen other horses and he expects these to be-
come rabid too. Likewise some of his own cat-
tle which strayed into the pasture. This is only
one of a number of recent reports coming from
Grant county and the southern part of Umatilla
county. Another story has it that a prominent
rancher of the south end of the county has lost
over 20 head of cattle by rabies, among them
a valuable bull.
50 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
April 1, 1965
Keep the present Highway 30 from Pend-
OHWRQ WR 6WDQ¿HOG MXQFWLRQ DV D VHUYLFH URDG
when a freeway is built, the Oregon Highway
Department was told in a hearing here Tues-
day. Witnesses were unanimous on that point.
Umatilla County Judge D.R. Cook lead off the
parade of 20 persons, mostly ranchers, who
spoke up at the hearing in the courthouse. “The
county will have to construct new roads to get
grain to Echo or Rew elevator” if the highway
is built to present plans, Judge Cook said. The
state highway department has proposed con-
struction to interstate standards of the present
highway from Pendleton to the Morrow Coun-
ty line. Two new lanes would be constructed
north of the present highway from the county
line to the Rohde ranch just east of the Lexing-
ton-Echo cutoff, and two new lanes south of
the present highway from there to Pendleton.
Federal funds would bear 92 per cent of the
cost. The present highway would be widened.
25 Years Ago
From the East Oregonian
April 1, 1990
Believe it or not, the famous chartreuse
Main Street Cowboy calliope is in for a
change, a big change — to the tune of more
than $8,000. The cowboys determined the
40-year-old musical wagon was on its last
legs, er, wheels. Dan Bell obtained it from a
defunct Yakima carnival back in the 1950s.
Since this is the 40th anniversary of the Main
6WUHHW &RZER\V WKH JURXS ¿JXUHG LW ZDV
time to polish up their symbol. Helix resident
Charlie McEachern, who’s tuned all sorts of
organs since 1973 — from pipe to computer-
L]HG²DFFHSWHGWKHGLI¿FXOWMRERIWXQLQJWKH
untuned. And it wouldn’t be fair if the calliope
ORRNHGVKDUSDQGWKHZDJRQÀDW7KHZDJRQ
and all woodwork is being completely gone
over, overhauled and rebuilt.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
DILBERT
THE WIZARD OF ID
LUANN
ZITS
BY SCOTT ADAMS
BY BRANT PARKER AND JOHNNY HART
BY GREG EVANS
BY JERRY SCOTT AND JIM BORGMAN
Today is the 91st day of
2015. There are 274 days
left in the year. This is April
Fool’s Day.
Today’s Highlight in
History:
On April 1, 1945, Amer-
ican forces launched the
amphibious invasion of Oki-
nawa during World War II.
(U.S. forces succeeded in
capturing the Japanese island
on June 22.)
On this date:
In 1789, the U.S. House
of Representatives held its
¿UVW IXOO PHHWLQJ LQ 1HZ
York; Frederick Muhlenberg
of Pennsylvania was elected
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In 1815, Prussian/German
statesman Otto von Bismarck
was born in Schoenhausen.
In 1865, during the Civil
War, Union forces led by Maj.
Gen. Philip Sheridan routed
Confederate soldiers under
the command of Maj. Gen.
George Pickett in the Battle
STONE SOUP
BIG NATE
of Five Forks in Virginia.
In 1924, Adolf Hitler was
VHQWHQFHG WR ¿YH \HDUV LQ
prison for his role in the Beer
Hall Putsch in Munich. (Hit-
ler was released in Dec. 1924;
during his time behind bars,
he wrote his autobiographical
screed, “Mein Kampf.”)
In 1933, Nazi Germany
staged a daylong national
boycott of Jewish-owned
businesses.
In 1954, the United States
Air Force Academy was
established by President
Dwight D. Eisenhower.
In 1962, the Katherine
Anne Porter novel “Ship of
Fools,” an allegory about
the rise of Nazism in Germa-
ny, was published by Little,
Brown & Co. on April Fool’s
Day.
In 1970, President Richard
M. Nixon signed a measure
banning cigarette advertising
on radio and television, to
take effect after Jan. 1, 1971.
In 1984, recording star
Marvin Gaye was shot to
death by his father, Marvin
Gay Sr., in Los Angeles, the
day before his 45th birthday.
Today’s Birthdays: Ac-
tress Jane Powell is 86. Ac-
tress Grace Lee Whitney is
85. Actress Debbie Reynolds
is 83. Country singer Jim
Ed Brown is 81. Actor Don
Hastings is 81. Baseball Hall
of Famer Phil Niekro is 76.
Actress Ali MacGraw is 76.
Rhythm-and-blues
singer
Rudolph Isley is 76. Supreme
Court Justice Samuel Alito
is 65. Rapper-actor Method
Man is 44. Political com-
mentator Rachel Maddow
is 42. Comedian-actor Taran
Killam is 33. Country singer
Hillary Scott (Lady Antebel-
lum) is 29.
Thought for Today: “The
only sin is mediocrity.” —
Martha Graham, American
modern dance pioneer (born
1894, died this date in 1991).
BY JAN ELLIOT
BY LINCOLN PEIRCE