Eugene register-guard., October 21, 1962, Image 58

Quips and
Quotes
J T
V u u T
Tj E5?7T
have change.'
As the Boss Sm It
Creation only took six day
Bui that, for goodness sake,
Was something that occurred before
The days of coffee breaks.
Hal Chadwick
The neighborhood grocer was tell
ing a customer about the new min
ister who had just taken over duties
at the local church. "He's wonder
ful," the grocer explained. "And his
sermons arc tremendous! Of course,
I haven't heard him yet."
The customer looked bewildered.
"If you haven't heard him, how do
you know he's so wonderful?"
"Oh, I can tell by the way his
parishioners are flocking in here to
pay their old bills," the grocer re
plied. Wilfred E. Beaver
A panhandler approached a passer
by and asked for a dime for a cup of
coffee.
"I'll be generous," the man re
plied, taking some change from his
pocket. "I'll give you three dimes for
three cups of coffee."
The next day the panhandler
chanced to meet the same man again.
"Say," he asked, "aren't you the guy
that gave me three dimes yesterday
for three cups of coffee?"
"Yes," the man replied proudly.
"I'm the one.'1
"Well, you've got a lot of nerve,
buddy," the panhandler snapped.
"Do you know I didn't get a wink of
sleep all night?" F. G. Kernan
Never Too Old to Burn
She asked for my honest opinion)
A lot of our friends weren't so youthful.
But straight from the shoulder was the looking older?
She begged I he forthright and truthful.
Thus wheedled, I answered quite frankly.
I wasn't the slightest unpleasant:
Just what she demanded objective and candid.
And so we're not speaking at present.
Georgia Starbuek Galbrailh
After returning from a shopping trip, a woman
realized she had lost her purse. She was about to
telephone the supermarket when the front door
bell rang.
' On the porch was a small boy clutching the
missing purse. "Are you the lady who lost this?"
' he asked.
"Why, yes I am," said the pleased woman. She
took the purse and opened it. "That's strange,"
she exclaimed. "When I lost this, it had only a
10-dollar bill inside now there are 10 ones!"
"I know," the youngster said sheepishly, "but
the last time this happened to me the lady didn't
James Shurluck
"There goes the last one.
Now will you start raking?"
A businessman was puz
zled by the announcement
that his old friend's wed
ding date had been post
poned two days. Worried,
he telephoned the friend.
"I hope nothing has gone
wrong," he said.
"Well, it almost did," the
friend replied. "You see, I
figured out our silver wed
dinganniversary would fall
on a Saturday, and you know
I always play golf on Satur
days." Joseph Sherman
"Moisture-Proof"
your baby against
diaper irritation!
i : , T .. .
3
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Tr,1
A
RETARDED CHILDREN
CAN BE HELPED
Family Weekly. October II, 1M2
Backache &
Nerve Tension
SECONDARY TO KIDNEY IRRITATION
After 21, common Kid tier or Bladder Ir
ritations aftect twice as many woman
mrn and mar makerou tense and nervous
from too frequent, burning or itching
urination both da r and nit ht Secondarily,
rou mar lone sleep and suffer from Head
ache. Backache and feel old. tired, de
pressed. In such Irritation. CVSTEX
usual Ly brings fait, relaxing comfort br
curbing irritating germs In strong, acid
urine and br analgesic pain relief. Oet
CYSTKX At drugs is U. reel better fait.
QUICK I Speed If up ft
with jut a few diops of
3-IN-ONE. Penetrate,
hard-to-get-at places.
Dosen't gum up.
3-mo:iEOiL
WH M VM UHltK HIH