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About The Weekly enterprise. (Oregon City, Or.) 1868-1871 | View Entire Issue (March 5, 1870)
f ....... -y' s
f ?he Weekly Enterprise.
t A DEMOCRATIC PAPER,
": FOK THE
Business Man, the Farmer
And the FAMILY CIRCLE.
rtllLISIIEU EVERY SATURDAY
OFFICE Cornrrof Fjftu and Main stretls
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;: Copy one year, in advance, $3 00
TER MS of A DYER TISIXG :
Transient advertisements, including all
l.-sal notice!, V so. of 12 line, 1 w.$ 2 50
Vpr each subsequent insertion 1 4(t
Who Column, on-, year $12h 00
lUlf ' 00
Bu-iiicss Card, 1 square one vear 12
" Kg Remittance to be mode at therixko
Subscribers, and at the cxpenge of Agtnts.
BOOK AXI) JOB PEIXTING.
The Enterprise office is supplied with
beautiful, approved ntylea of type, and mod
ern M.Ct'IlINK IMMOStsKS. which will enable
the Proprietor to do JullfMnting atall times
Xrat, Quick and Cheap !
&a Work solicited.
Alt Buxinexs tra nmetUm vpim a Specie .-".
JO!L MYERS, FinaneialrAnt.
W. R()SS,M. IX,
Pliysician and Surgeon,
J37"OfTice on Main tieet, opgesite Maon
ic Hall, Oregon Citv. O K'.tt'
Physician and Surgeon,
'7 Office at Lis Dnijz Store, near Post
0:Vie, Oregon City, Oiei-n. PJtl
J. WELCH j
Permanently Locatedett Orcgon&d'j, Oregon
R OO MS With Dr. Saffarrana, on Main s-t.
U.$T ATK INS, M. D ,
- SURGEON. rouTLAxn. Oi:ku n.
OFFICE )o Pront street Residence cor
ner f Main and Seventh streets.
, ALBERT H. KALLENBERG,
Cliomi.sf and Druggist,
70 FlllT STREET,
Bit. Stark and lYa:hiint1on .
1'QIyTLAM)," OUEG OX.
IfST Chysicians' l'resci ipjtions Carefully
jircparcd. at reduced Price's. A complete
tt-sortmetit of Patent Medicines, Perfumer
ies, Toilet Articles, P.mcy S aps, etc., on
Liind auditor sale at lowest ju'ees. ntitf
A. II. HKI.I.
E. A. I'AKKEll.
BELL &, PARKER.
AMI PEAI.KUS IX
Chemicals, PatentMedicines, Paints,
Perfumery, Oils, Varnishes,
And every article kept in a Drug Store. Main
Ktreet. Oresron City.
. W. F. HIGHFIELD,
. Established since 14',). ut the !d stand,
Main Street, Oregon City, Oregon.
An Assortment of Watcher, Jew
elry, awd Seth Thomas' weiiiht
Clocks, sill of which are warranted
to be as remesented. n
Kei-ainnirs done on short notice,
Jhd thankful for piist favors.
"Live and Let Live."
FIELDS & STICKLER,
COUNTRY PRODUCE, Ac.,
" Z-rrt tl.eQl j-t.uid of Woitman Fields
Oregon Cit. , Oregon. " 13tf
JKNT & PLUMKV,
Choice Wines, Liquors i Cigars,
Main Rt., Oregon City. O
Z' Call, and RoWr trotter wilthow you
Lruh the establishment. llltt
i Barniun Restaurant."
OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT,
, G " 0 Main st., Oregon f?ity,
-i Z"-W Knows how to serve his customers
, m i'th Ovters. Piirs Feet, a good cup of CoflVe
t .or a SQUARE MEAIIN... ICtf
.EV YORK 3IUTUAL
juFE INSURANCE CQMPW
. j WILLIAM E. HOWELL,
(Of Oregon City Manufacturing Company,)
SvVrt OR EGO X CITY.
i , 3i- AH orders for the delivery of merchan
: ' dis or packages and freight of whatever tles
? eription, to any part of the city, will be txe-
: cu'.eJ promptly and with care.
THERE IS NO DEATH.
There is no death ! The stars go down
To shmt: upon some fairer shore ;
And bright in Heaven's jeweled crown
j They shine forever more.
There is no death ! The dust we tread
Shall change beneath the Summer showers,
To golden grain, or mellow fruit,
Or rain bow tinttd llowers.
The granite rocks disorganize
To feed the hungry moss they bear,
'the forest leaves drink daily life
From out the viewless air.
There is no death ! The leaves may fall,
The flowers may lade and pass away
They only wait through wintry hours
The coming of the May.
There is no death ! An angel form
Walks o"er the earth with silent tread
He bears our best loved things away,
And then we call them "dead."7
lie leaves our hearts all desolate
Plucking our fairest, sweetest flowers ;
Transplanted into bttss, they now
Adorn immortal bowers.
The bird-like voice, whose joyous ton?s
Made glad this scene of sin and strife,
Sings now in everlasting song,
Amid the tree of lile.
And where he sees a smile too bright.
Or heart too pure for taint and vice,
lie bears it to that world of light,
To dwell in Paradise.
Born into that undying life,
They leave us but to come again ;
With joy we welcome them the same
Exv'vpt in sin and pain.
And ever near us, though unseen,
The dear immortal spirits tread!
For all the boundless Universe
Is life : there are no dead.
STATISTICS OF OREGON.
EY A. J. DUFUR.
IS'O. 16. f
Benton county is lounlcl on
the north ly Polk, oast by the "Wil
lamette river, -which separates it
from Linn, south by Lane and
Douglas, and west by the Pacific
ocean. Its eastern portion lying
in thedieart of the Willamette val
ley, on the upper Willamette river,
about 35 miles south from the city
of Salem, with its western border
indented with bays and inlets
along the Pacific coast, its excel
lent prairie, grass, and grain lands,
in the eastern portion, with valu
able forests of timber, good bays
and harbors, fertile valleys, and
valuable banks for fisheries, along
its entire western boundary, and
with good mill sits and water
power for all kinds of manufactor
ies, Benton has natural sources of
great wealth still undeveloped, and
in soil, price, climate, or adaptation
to any department of industry, or
any avocation in life, cannot fail to
furnish the most fastidious with a
satisfactory location and a desira
ble home. This county covers an
area of 905,840 acres of land, with
3,500 inhabitants, and an assessable
property of 81,500,000. The soil
of this county may be considered
as consisting of three varieties. An
alluvial deposit of vegetable mold
along the bottoms of the Willam
ette and Clary's rivers and their
brandies. This land is very rich,
and when brought under cultiva
vation will produce grass, grain,
and vegetables of the most luxuri
ant growth. Leaving the river
bottoms, the soil of the prairies and
the land along the base of the foot
hills, although perhaps, properly
speaking, alluvial, has a base of
clay, with a liberal mixture of sil
ica, lime, protoxide of iron, am
monia, and sand loam, with many
other ingredients favorable to the
production of wheat, oats, barley,
buckwheat, potatoes, turnips, and
all the different varieties of garden
The different kinds of fruit gen
erally raised in this climate do well
here, and all kinds of small fruits
may be produced in abundance.
-xiiv pcaeii, inuian corn, and to
bacco can be raised successfully in
many localities in this county, when
properly cultivated and well'carcd
for. Grass, of the most luxuriant
growth, both of the tame and na
tive varieties, is produced in abun
dance, making the county well
adapted to the raising of cattle,
sheep, and horses, and it is but
just to say here that some ol the
finest stock that ever honored the
fair grounds of the Agricultural
Society of Oregon were raised in
King's Valley, Benton county.
The various kinds of timber previ
ously described and known to the
State of Oregon exist in sufficient
quantities in the eastern part of
the county to more than supply
the home demand for all kinds of
lumber and fuel, while along the
coast range and western portions
of the county, the timber land
largely predominates. .Thefqual
ity of water in this county, like
most all other portions of Oregon,
is soft and pure, and for general
domestic and mechanical purposes
is abundant, being supplied by
springs, brooks and running
streams from the hills and Coast
.Range mountains, and can also be
obtained by "digging wells of mod
erate depth "Avhere not existing in
The climate in the eastern por
tion of the county is of about the
same temperature as other parts of
the "Willamette Valley. In the
western portion of the county the
weather is not as warm in summer,
or as cold in winter, the climate
being tempered in a great degree
by the mild sea breeze from the
The conveniences for immigrants
and new settlers to procure all
kinds of supplies, such as the vari
ous kinds of agricultural imple
ments, mechanics' tools, provisions,
seeds, groceries, books, stationery,
clothing, etc., is as good as any
person can ask or reasonably ex
pect in this new country, the stores
through all the settlements in the
different parts of the county being
well supplied with these articles,at
reasonable prices, and Oregon be
ing able to boast of as extensive a
supply of general merchandise,
hardware and agricultural imple
ments, in proportion to her number
of inhabitants, as any State in the
The facilities for marketing and
converting the various industrial
productions of this county into
cash, are as good as could be ex
pected in a new country like this,
and far superior to the advantages
enjoyed by almost any of the now
thickly settled portions of the 3lis
sissippi valley, before railroad en
terprise opeied up the natural re
sources and agricultural wealth of
these great States to the markets of
the world.- The Willamette river,
forming the entire eastern bound
ary of this county, furnishes navi
gable water for river steamers
more than half the year, by which
means flour, wool, bacon, wheat,
butter, and cheese can be shipped
to Portland, a distance of about
eighty-five miles, where all these
articles find a ready maiket at re
The harbor on Yaquina Bay, is
the second seaport of importance
in the State, and furnishes a point
where vessels and ocean steamers
can transfer produce and lumber
to San Francisco, Portland, or Vic
toria, the Sandwich Islands, and
other ports. The inducements Ben
ton county holds out to the indus
trious laboring man with small
means and indomitable persever
ance, who desires to place himself
in the possession of a comfortable
home at a cost of only a few years'
labor, and a sacrifice of only a few
social enjoyments in a crowded
city, or town, where society too
often rests on a money basis,where
virtuous industry in rags is ma.de
to do penance . to aristocratic vice
in satin, arc equal to almost any
other location on this coast.
To the wool-grower, her green
hills and mild climate, scarcely
ever requiring grain or hay for
sheep, afford a good opening for
this department of industry. And
to the manufacturer of that article,
the ease with which the raw ma
terial may be obtained, and the in
creasing demand for blankets, flan
nels, tweeds, cassimeres, and all
kinds of woolen goods, promise
rich returns for all capital invested.
The extensive valleys of grass, ex
cellent stock range, and the case
with which cattle can be raised,
promise-a rich reward to the stock
grower, for ordinary care.
The immigrant who wishes to
engage in general farming, grain
raising, or a system of mixed hus
bandry, will here find the rich soil
of the" Mississippi valley, impreg
nated with the various mineral
salts, alkaline and marine deposits
in soluble form, giving the soil of
Oregon, and that of the Willamette
valley in particular, its superior
capacity for producing all kinds of
gram, and especially the great sta
ple of our country wheat.
The lumberman can find open
ings for profitable investment in
that great department of industry,
in different localities scattered all
over the county, and especially
along the immense forests of cedar
on the Alsea river and its tribu
taries, adjacent to the navigable
waters of Alsea Bay, where" lum
ber can be exported" in sailing ves
sels to any part of the workC
OMEGJOIV, SATURDAY, MARCH 5, 1$70.
The excellent coal banks recently
discovered in the Yaquina valley,
and within reach of the navigable
waters of the Yaquina river and
bay, need only capital, industry,
and energy to develop them into
resources of great wealth ; while
cod fisheries might be profitably
established off the banks, and
salmon and other fisheries on the
rivers, inlets and bays.
Government land can be ob
tained in some parts of the county,
but, as a matter of course, the best
lands have been tffke.iv mid the
best locations selected. In the
western portions of the county, on
the Alsea and Yaquina bays and
river?, there is yet Government
land, well adapted to dairy pur
poses the pure air and cool sea
breeze being favorable to the pre
servation of all kinds of dairy pro
ductions in the most satisfactory
manner. And the tide and over
flowed lands, and also the valleys
further up those streams, furnish
the best of range for dairy cows,
and all kinds of meat cattle.
The Siletz valley, in tliis part of
the county, is said to be one of the
finest portions, and capable of fur
nishing good homes for more than
three hundred families. But this
valley is yet occupied as an Indian
reservation, and cannot be settled
by whites until the Government
sees fit to open it to enterprise and
industry, which will .probably be
before many years.
The invigorating sea breeze in
this portion of country furnishes a
desii wble retreat for the invalid in
search of health ; -while those who
wish a few months' reprieve from
the feverish excitements of city
life, may here find sports fit for the
pen of Genio C. Scott, for rivers,
creeks and mountain streams are
" Ths speckled trr-ut, in springing pride,
The salmon, monaich of the tide ;
The ruthless pike, intent on war ;
The silver i ike, and mottled par."
While elk, bear, deer, beaver,otter,
mink, and a great variety of water
fowls and small game, are abund
ant in the mountains, valleys, bays
The advantages for schooling
and religious worship in this county
and in part through all the settle
ments in Oregon, are far superior
to what might reasonably be ex
pected in so recently and sparsely
a settled country as this. There
are school districts organized and
schools kept a part of the time dur
ing the year in all the settlements
in this count' ; while the different
religious denominations of almost
every persuasion exert their influ
ence to preserve good morals and
give tone to societv
are also seminaries and
academies in this county for teach
ing the higher branches, among
which we notice the college at Cor
valhs, one of the most prosperous
schools in the State, where the stu
dent can obtain an academic or
collegiate education of the highest
Corvallis, the shire town of this
county, is a place of considerable
trade, and is located on the Wil
lamette river, and occupies one of
the handsomest town sites in the
State. Her numerous stores, busy
workshops, excellent schools, ami
three neat little churches, her citi
zens, noted for enterprise, industry,
refinement and good taste, make it
a place worthy the careful atten
tion of the man of business seeking
profit aide investment for capital in
A Grand Slt.marixe Exrr.osiosr.
The San Francisco Alta thus
tells how Blossom Rock is to be
got out of the way :
When the entire mass of rock
shall have been excavated, leaving
only a shell six or eight feet in
thickness, the works will be in
readiness to receive the powder,
of which about twenty tons will
be placed in sheet-iron cylinders in
the various galleries, and connect
ed by means of wires leading up
through wrought-iron tubes, with
a galvanic battery in a vessel an
chored some distance off. The
chambers will be filled with water
(which will act as tamping) and
the torpedoes fired simultaneously.
Bv the explosion the mass will be
broken into fragments, and the
shell of the rock thrown outwards
into the deep water alongside. The
turret and wooden framework will
of course be blown up together
with the rock, it being necessary
to leave them standing, as in case
the torpedoes, from any cause,
should fail to explode at the first
attempt, it would be necessary to
descend through the turret to ex
amine and readjust .matters.
COURTESY OF BANCROFT LIBRARY,
TTM TA717P5? TTT Dl? P. T.TT?fYRMTA .
A HOSPITAL STORY.
The neighbors who had befriend
ed me during the illness of my
mother told me that work would
greatly tend to divert my mind
from the last sad loss which I had
experienced the death of my
Just twenty-one,.with no relative
but a brother six years my Junior.
I looked round to where he was
sitting at the table. I could just
see the outline of his head, and
knew it was bent Toward in the at
titude which lie never assumed but
when lie was in trouble. Xo one
else was in the room, and the tears
which I had suppressed for the last
few minutes came afresh, as I real
ized our utter loneliness. He
heard me sobbing, and called in
the growing darkness,-
I went to him, wound my arms
about him, and for minutes we
cried together; he raised his face
then from my breast, and even in
the darkness I saw its ghastly
"Martcne, you must not grieve
so. We arc left to love each oth
er yet. Mother is gone ; but "
He broke down again, and once
more broke forth in a passion of
tears, while my grief also burst out
afresh. We grew calm at length
and I made a motion to light the
"Xo," he said; and I felt him
shudder. "Stay with me a little
while I feel weird now."
The latter was an expression I
had often heard him use in the
evening just before the lamp would
be lit, and once I remembered him
screaming out on a stormy night
from the little room where he
slept, and answering to our frightr
ened questions, when mother and I
had hastened to him, that he felt
"weird." Mother remained with
him that night, and she was al
ways more tender to him at those
times; but the only explanation
she ever gave me was that he
might be laboring under a super
stitious fancy which he inherited
from my father.
For mother's and Ids own sake
now I strove to be more tender
and loving, whispering, as I drew
him to me in closer embrace,
" What is it, Amien ? What do
you mean by weird ?
He shuddered again.
"Only a fancy, Martene," and
he shuddered again; then adding
in a lower tone, "but it's so real
while it lasts!"
" Tell of it," I pleaded.
"Xo, no, it could do no good!"
he spoke quickly, and sighed heav
ily, in a moment resuming, in a
changed voice : " I am going to be
very good now, Martene. I will
never give you any trouble I
"There was no need of an oath,"
" XTo ; but to think I have given
one may help me in the future
when I'm tempted."
He disengaged himself from my
clasp, and rose to light the lamp
and make the fire burn brightly,
for it was very cold.
Well, I went to teaching as soon
as I had arranged the affairs of our
little household, and Amien return
ed to the establishment where he
had been employed for the past
Life was very monotonous; our
only comfort, in the evening, when
our simple supper had been taken
sitting close together, while we
talked of mother.
One night a gentleman a dear
friend of mother's who had been
absent for some some time before
her death, now, on his return, hast
ened to sec ns, unconscious of
the sad news awaiting him.
His sorrow was great, his sym
pathy for us deep; and when Mr.
Metarche left- us that night, he
seemed to leave behind him some
of his bright, genial presence.
He came regularly every week,
and I discovered what I had never
done during my mother's lifetime
Teole Metaiche was educated,
gentlemanly, handsome. His be
ing ten years my senior, seemed,
in my eyes, to add to his attrac
tions; so I grew to love him, but
Amien did not know it.
A year passed. Amien had ris
en rapidly in the estimation of his
employers, and was earning a very
fair salary which, with mine, main
tained us quite comfortably.
Possessing, as I knew I did, Me
tarche's love, I would have been
happy but for one terrible thing
that had crept into our household
within a few weeks my brother
drank. His employers as yet were
unaware ot it, lor thus tar he had
only -indulged when in company
with his companions. But I fan
cied that the apetite for strong
liquors was growing upon him, and
night after night, as he came in
from some convivial party, his gait
staggering, and his eyes his hand
some dark eyes rolling in their
sockets I felt my heart grow sick
with fear and anguish.
One evening Metarche came
with strange news. The large
house by wdiich he was employed
had offered to settle him abroad, in
order that lie might there execute
the commissions he had so faith
fully done here. The offer as hey
made it "was munificent, and he
had come to ask me to marry him,
and go abroad with him.
I did not reply and he contin
"You are thinking of yonr
brother; in a few months I Avill be
in a condition to have him join ns;
and until then lie will not be very
unhappy without you."
I shook my head ; my lover was
not aware of my brother's groAving
fault, nor could I tell him.
"I cannot!" I replied, and then
my fortitude vanished, and hurry
ing my face in my hands, I cried
as a child might have done. He
drew me to him gently, tenderly,
and for one moment I experiensed
upon his breast the most perfect
happiness my sad life ever knew.
It Avas only for a minute ; then
I heard Amien's drunken step upon
the stairs, and a terror seized me
lest Metarche should see him thus.
I rushed to the door and opened
it. Amien might escape, i rush
ed back to Metarche, and seizing
his hands, gasped,
" I cannot marry you, and I can
not tell you why; but for God's
sake go !
I think he could not. resist the
pleading look that I felt was in my
eyes, for he took his hat, saying,
at the door,
" I am obliged to leave the city
to- morrow for a few days, but on
my return you must explain all
The door of the front room clos
ed on him as Amien entered the
He staggered toward me sing
ing some bacchanalian . song: his
face, usually so pale, was deeply
flushed, and his eyes had a wild
light in them. Mother's picture
was hanging opposite, and some
thing within me impelled me to
raise my arm in an appeasing man
ner, and say,
He did look and instantly a
change came over him; he trem
bled, and had I not rushed to his
support, he would have fallen ; he
seemed to have become sober, for
after a few minutes he turned to
feel so weird
tightly, Martene I
I did hold him firmly, and ob
served with fear how the wild look
in his eyes deepened ; he was gaz
ing directly before him, and seem
ed to see something in the dim
space which was not visible to me.
"At last his right senses seemed to
return, and he dropped his head
upon his breast, Availing,
" Mother ! mother I "
What a wretched night that
was ! For hours I cquld not calm
or comfort him. At last when I
Avas beginning to grow faint and
ill, he burst out suddenly Avith,
"I have been very, wicked, Mar
tene, but I Avill never be guilty
again only you must not leave
me must not marry while I live
swear you Avill not !"
A sort of frenzy seemed to seize
him. I took the required oath un
der the influence of feelings I can
notdcscribe; and when the early
dawn Avas shining through thewin
dows Ave retired.
Metarche came at the end of a
week, and grew positively angry
when I, acknoAvledging my love
for him, yet persisted in refusing
to explain Avhy it was I might
never be able to marry him He de
parted at length, dissatisfied and
sorroAvful, his last words being,
" I Avill Avait for you."
That night Amien came home
intoxicated. I Avas pitiless at
once almost iunous ana m an
outburst of passion, I reproached
him xcth thn nnth ho wi
take, and Iioav it had dashed from
my life all its future happiness.
He seemed to listen to me calmly,
and the next morning he Avas
I haAe neAcr seen nor heard
from him since and that was eigh
teen months ago. Letters came
from Metarche, but self-reproach
and remorse preA'ented my answer
t---11 1 1,1, -r.ioi T was
r.i:,.i nos tion, and
uuniieu ii' icns" "j 1 .1-1
at last Avas
forced to enter
have my story.
The physician of the ward was
coming toward us, accompanied
by a voting man,. scarcely more
tjian eighteen, and very handsome
but Avith a fragile sort of beauty.
The young girl to whose story I
had been listening, saAv them. A
look of intense rapture spread over
her countenance as she murmured:
"It is he! ItisAmicla!"
The doctor and I turned aside,
while the passionate embrace of
brother and sister was here given.
I would have departed then, but
the sick girl begged me to stay,
saying to Amien:
"She is our friend sho has been
A ery kind." -
And soJ heard Amien's expla
nation of nis absence, which I givo
in hisAvn words; m .
"I Avent,' Martene, that .you
might be released from that hasty
vow, and marry Metarche. Oh !
if you had but toRl me before that
you loved him ! I found .employ
ment miles away from you, aud
abstained from liquor, till tho
" Aveird " felling compelled me to
it. I thought to drown in intoxi
cation the apparitions I saw at such
times; but they cam the more,
and I saw mother as I saw her on
the night you pointed to her pic
ture, in her grave clothes, and look
ing as if she Avere cursing me. Two
nights ago" his -fbice sank Ioav
er "Avhcn I Avas reeling to my
Avretched boarding-place, the
Avcird' feeling came on, and I say "
her. I AA"as sobered in an instant;
and I don't know how, but I im
mediately felt you Avere ill. That
Aery night I started for our old
home, and found you had been con
A eyed to this hospital. So here I
am, for your pardon, martene. I
will find Metarche. You Avill re
cover and Ave Avill be happy once O
Hod aid his head on the pillow
beside hers. u
"XcAer, Amien! I am dying
.The red blood crimsoned to I195
lips as she spoke. . And that nightp
ere her loA eran ived, she was dead.
But few mourners followed her
to the grave, and as Metarche was
forcing Amien away from the lit
tle mound, the latter said, sud
" I pity you, Teole ; but for mo
Martene Avill comeO and ,&ce me.
My father always saw the last
member of his family that 'died,
and so do I. I saAv my father after
his death many times, and when
my mother died, I saw her instead,
and iioav, I
He stoppedjshuddcred, and clung
closely to Motarchep crying pitc
ously : q
"I see her now 1 CMartcne V
A burst of tears seemed to re
lieve him, Avhile Metarche turned
to me and shook his head, as wo
left the cemetery.
The brother and lovcr dwell to
gether, but the former is slowly
dying, his Aveird' feelings, as he
calls themphaA'ing undermined his
There, my friend, is Avhat you
have so often desired me to relato
one of my hospital stories.
Sollum Thoughts. The fear ov
God iz the philosophy ov religion ;
the lov ov God iz the charity ov
Hope iz a hen that laze more egs
than she can hatch out.
I honestly beleaAe it iz better to
knoAV nothing than to know Avbaty
About the hardest Avork a phel
tow kan dew iz teAV spjirktcAV galls
at onct, and preserve a goodver
age. Prudery iz one or virteAv's bjas
A nick name will outlive enny
man or thing fit iz like a crook in
a dortr's tale : rou mav cut it onh.
fand thr.oAv it fjehind the barn, but0
the crook iz there vet, and the
stump iz the epitaph.
If vou annalize what most nftn
call plczzure, yoft will find it com
posed ov one part humbug and 2
When you haint got nothing tew
do. do it at onct ; that iz tne Avay
tow learn tew be bizzy.
The art ov becoming ov import
ance in the eyes ov others, is not
tew oven-ate ourselves, but tew
cause them to dew it. o
Whare religion is a trade moral
itAr iz a merchandize.
"Going tew law, iz like skinning a
neAV milch coav for the hide, and
o-iving lhe meat tew the lawyers.
Deth, tew most ov us, iz a kind
ov fareAvell benefit positively our