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About The Dalles daily chronicle. (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948 | View Entire Issue (April 20, 1891)
' -FtftEUGkfv -
Above the glowing embera
I he&r th backlog Ring
Tbt music it remembers
Of some remembered spring;
Back to the branch forsaken
Return its jocund choir,
ad in the chimney waken 1
A melody of Are.
Without, the storm is bitter, -
The snownakes fill the night:
Within the embers glitter
And gild the room with light:
And in the fireplace gleaming
The backlog sings away.
And mingles all my dreaming
With birds and bloom and May.
MR. TESTER'S TROUSERS.
It is not very long since that young
Jack Cockey went, down by himself to
Woodleigh hall, Dampshire, to spend a
week or so with his Uncle Tester. Jack,
who had only just left- school, and was
"barely nineteen, did not look forward to
bia visit with much pleasure, for his
"wacle was a most crotchety and can
tankerous old gentleman, of whom he
stood in considerable dread. Indeed, he
kad only accepted the invitation from
interested motives, the fact- being that
Ida uncle, who was very rich, had
kintod his intention of defraying the ex
penses of Jack's projected career at Ox
lord, and as his parents were too poof to
give him a university education them
jsolvee it was especially needful for him
to keep in Uncle Tester's "good books."
Before lie had left home on his dreaded
visit both his parents warned him what
a whimsical, crotchety old fellow his
Vocle was, and how exceedingly careful
fee must be in his behavior while at
'Woodleigh; for the old gentleman was
.apt to take offense at trifles which or
dinary mortals would not even notice,
and the smallest piece of carelessness on
Jack's part might engender a fatal prej
dice against hint in his nncle's mind.
Folly imbued, therefore, with the ne
cessity of being on his best behavior,
-Jack started off to Woodleigh. On ar
riving there he was not especially pleased
to find that the only other visitors to the
honeo. were a few old fogys, contempo
raries of hid ancle and aunt, and as he
sat at dinner on his first night, in com
pany of these prim and rather Antiquated
persons, he felt decidedly like a fish out
of water. Indeed had it not been for
the presence of hiB cousin Lily his un
cle's only" child who kept him in coun
tenance as far as youth was concerned,
ne felt that he should have collapsed al
Youth' was not Lily ' Tester's sole at
traction either. She' was .pretty, kind
hearted and companionable. And Jack
found her society so agreeable that be
fore be had been at Woodleigh three
days he imagined himself, according to
his boyish lights, violently in love with
ker. Of course he was too bashful to'
declare his passion in. words but he'
bowed it by the silent admiration of his
looks, by constant attendance at her side;,
and by continually fetching and carry
ing for her, and.- in a general way, mak
ing himself as useful to her as he could.
One afternoon, in her cousin's hearing,
Lily happened to bewail aloud the fact
that she had-no- means- of- procuring a
sew novel, which she was very impa
tient to read, from the circulating.library
in their neighboring town, as the horse
were otherwise' occupied that- day and
the servants were all too busy to be sent
upon such an errand. Jack said nothing,
but Instantly determined to go for the
novel himself. And having consulted
him watch and seen that he should have
time to get there and back before dinner
he started off alone without telling any
body where he was going: .
He reached the town all right and obtained-
the' novel which Lilly wanted.
But the walk took him longer fiian he
had expected, so that, instead of being
kack at Woodleigh with a comfortable
half hour to spare before dinner, he
found that he had barely five minutes.
As he hurried into the hall, hot and
breathless, he met Lily on her way to
the drawing room, dressed ready for
dinner, and he immediately took the
opportunity of giving her- the . novel
which he had bought.
- "Oh, this is good of you. Jack," she
exclaimed, her face lighting up with a
grateful smile, "to go all that long walk
on my account. - Why, you look as hot
and- tired as can be. 1 am afraid''
(glancing anxiously at the clock) "that
you have made yourself late, too. Oh,
Jack, do you think you can possibly
dress in four minutes? For papa is
dreadfully particular about people being
in time for dinner. And 1 should be
quite miserable if you got into a scrape
with him through serving me."
"Oh, Til manage it all right," replied
Jack. "My dressing won't take long."
And he ran off quickly up stairs toper
form his hasty toilet, determined not to
be late, for he knew that Lily had used
no exaggerated phrase in saving that her
father was "dreadfully particular about
people being in time." indeed, in the
eyes of this crotchety and whimsical old
gentleman to be late, for dinner was
something very like a deadly sin.- ' And
Jack, as we know, had strong reasons
for keeping in his ancle's favor. He
.rushed, therefore, through his toilet at a
breckneck pace, until he came to his
dress; trousers, and then he received a
check. Something appeared to be wrong
with the articles in question. They were
ao small and tight that Jack could scarce
ly get his muscular limbs into them. In
tact, it was evident that' they were not
his own at all, but the property of some
body else who was very much- smaller
and thinner than himself,
"Hang itr he soliloquized in a vexed
tone, as he surveyed the tight and scanty
garments clinging to his legs almost as
close - as fleshings, ... "those confounded
footmen have made "a stupid mistake
and exchanged my breeches for some
body else's. I most ring the bell at once
and have my own brought up, for I can
never go down stairs in these things."
He leaned across his bed to pull the
bell rope, which hung on the other, side
-of it from where he stood. But, alast
the movement laid too great a strain
npon the skin tight inexpressibles in
Which he stood encased. There came a
loud crack,, followed , by , ah .ominoas
sound of tearing. And Jack saw, to his
no small dismay, that one of the seams
had split right up the leg! ;. , - r r.
What the deuce was he to do? The
owner of the trousers might nay, cer
tainly would send up for them in a
minute or two. And what a rage he
would be in when he found what had
happened to them! If Jack had been a
few years older and gifted with a trifle
more self possession, he would have re
garded the affair as rather a good joke,
and though he might have been a little
embarrassed he would not hae been
seriously disturbed by it. But being a
nervous, awkward boy, and very shy of
the prim old gentlemen who were his
ancle's guests, his accident caused him
quite unreasonable agitation.
But there was worse in store. A min
ute later a knock came at his door, and
a servant's Voice inquired from the other
"Beg pardon, sir; but did you ring for
your dress trousers?"
"Yes," replied Jack, hurriedly, making
no movement to unlock the door. "Have
you got them there?" -
"Yes,- answered the footman. "4-nd I
expect you must have got master's, sir,
for yours had been taken to his room by
mistake, and he can't find his own no
where." A horrible thrill of increased dismay
shot through Jack at these words. ' The
affair" had' seemed bad enough before he
knew whose trousers they were he had
split. But the fact of their being crab
bed, crotchety Uncle Tester's made it a
hundred times worse. What should he
do? How should he manage to face the
vials of the old gentleman's wrath, which
Would assuredly be poured upon him at
dinner in the presence of all the other
guests? This thought reduced the shy. '
foolish youth to a state of mind border
ing upon frenzy. And almost before he
knew what he was saying certainly be
fore he at all realized the consequences
of his action he had blurted out a des
"No," he answered, "I have not I
have no dress trousers here at all."
The man did not seem convinced, how
ever, until Jack had repeated his assev
eration two or three times. Then he
went away, leaving the youth's own
trousers (by his request) on the mat out
side the door. When he was out of sight
Jack opened the door and hastily took
them in. and pulling off his- uncle's
breeches- soon invested himself - in his
own. -The former he then stuffed in his
portmanteau, which' he was careful to
lock. And putting the key in his pocket
he hurried down to dinner in anything
but an easy frame Of mind. .
He reached the drawing room a min
ute of two before bis uncle, who sooii
made his appearance in- a pair of mornT
ing inexpressibles, with a particularly
sour look on his face. The old gentle
man, being- absurdly prim and punctil
ious about accuracy of dress,, was more
upset by the disappearance of his gar
ments than ordinary folk would imagine
possible. And as he explained to his
guests the cause of his lateness and- of
his hybrid- attire,- he inveighed ihi no
measured terms against the "damned
idiot wbo was to blame for it, and ex
pressed his determination of "Bending
him about his business" as soon as he
could discover his personality. --
This threat, and the sour ill temper
which his uncle displayed all the' even
ing, quite frightened Jack out of any in
tention of confessing the truth which he
might have entertained. .On", the -con'
trary, he began to evolve desperate ex
pedients for getting' the tjronsers mended,
and secretly restoring' them' to the old
fellow's room; since, if the articles con
tinued missing there was no saying what
steps their owner might not take to dis
cover their' Whereabouts. And' should
they be traced to him. Jack "Why, good
by to all his expectations from the avun
cular quarter 1 .
While HWcast about in his mind for
possible expedients,, it occurred to him
that he might seek the assistance of his
Aunt Tester's maid, for she was rather a
friend of his, having" lived with his
mother several years before she came to
Woodleigh, and he felt sure Pie would
help him to the best of , her p Jt:er. . He
knew where her workroom- was; having
been to it already to have little jobs of
mending done. -
If he went there that very evening,
after dinner, when his aunt and cousin
were busy down stairs with their guests,
he should be certain to find her alone.
He could take the trousers to her, tell her
exactly what had happened, beg her to
run up the split seam with a sewing ma
chine, and arrange with her some method
for the secret restoration of the articles
to his uncle's dressing, room.' As no
other reasonable, or even possible, course
suggested itself, Jack made up his mind
to adopt this one. And he escaped to
his room after dinner on the earliest op
portunity for the purpose of putting it
into immediate execution. Unlocking
his portmanteau, he dragged the wretch
ed trousers forth. Then doubling them
up into the smallest possible compass,
and taking them under . his arm, con
cealed as much as was feasible , by his
coat, he looked out to see that nobody
was in sight and started along the pas
sage toward the workroom.
He had not proceeded far before he
became aware of some one approaching
with a light in the. opposite direction.
At present the light alone was visible
the bearer of it being hidden from him
by a bend in the wall. What was he to
do? As he was carrying . the t trousers
they were but imperfectly concealed,
and any one meeting him with a light
was certain to remark' them. He must
hide out of the way" till the person, who
ever it was," had passed. But where?
A bedroom door on his right stood
temptingly open. . He darted quickly in,
and concealed himself behind it. . But,
as ill luck would . have it, his hiding
place proved a decidedly insecure one:
The bearer of the light; who, from the
sound of rustling skirts which accom
panied her, was evidently a woman, did
not pass by the door. On the contrary,
she walked straight into itl Jack's
heart sank to zero, and a sense of ap
palling' ' dismay ' overwhelmed him. Of
course she would shut the door,' and
there he would stand helplessly and
hopelessly exposed, with those miserable
trousers in- his possession, - Escape was
impossible. Nothing could save hi.
He was ignominiously run to earth.
If ever any one felt desperate Jack did
so at that moment. The newcomer,
however, did not shut the door, but
passed on into the room leaving it open
behind fier. Jack could see her as he
stood shivering in his hiding place, and
it did not add to his comfort to recog
nize his aunt. But he was conscious of
a blessed sense of relief when he saw
her making for a door on the opposite
side of the room, which apparently led
into another chamber beyond. She
opened it and went in. Now was his
chance to escape! Looking nervously
out, and dreading every moment to see
her reappear, he slipped quietly round
the door and into the passage. Then,
fancying he heard his aunt emerge from
the inner room, he scuttled off on tiptoe
to his own bedchamber as fast as he
It was not until he reached that haven,
breathless anil trembling, tHat a con
sciousness of something missing came
over him. He had not got the trousers!
Terrible conviction! In the hurry and
agitation of his escape from behind the
door he must have dropped them. What
on earth was to be done now? he asked
himself in sickening dismay. Should he
hasten back and make a desperate effort
to recover them? No! His courage
failed him at the thought. He should
probably run into his aunt while doing
so, and that would put the finishing
stroke to everything. There was noth
ing for it but to let matters take their
course. And wherever the trousers were
picked up, whether behind the door or
in the passage outside; there was, thank
heaven! no evidence to connect their
presence there with himself.
But iit his existing uneasy and forebod
ing frame of mind, he felt it would be quite
impossible for" him to face the company
again that night without exciting sus
picion by his demeanor. So he locked
himself into his room and retired straight
to bed, though not to sleep,- for he lay
awake most of the night brooding mis
erably over this unhappy affair. Even
the brief spells of slumber he enjoyed
were disturbed by awful nightmares, in
which a pair of black trousers, with a
huge rent in them, were always the
Next morning it was ' with the great
est difficulty that he could force himself
to go down to breakfast. For if the
discovery of those wretched trousers, in
their torn condition, was mentioned as
it was, of course, certain to be he knew
he should betray himself to the others
by bis guilty blushes. He therefore ex
perienced the most relieved surprise
when the meal' passed without any allu
sion being' made to them. No one even
appeared to notice that his face looked;
pale and haggard,, except, perhaps, Lily,'
whose eyes he several times met' fixed
upon himself, with a certain anxious in
terest expressed in them.
The day dragged on with leaden
wings, and at every minute, in his nn
easy guiltiness of conscience,' Jack ex
pected to be summoned by bis- Uncle
Tester and ordered to explain his scan
dalous and deceitful conduct, but nc
such summons came, and at last dinner
time was reached. That, of course, Was
certain to bring the subject of the dresf
trousers upon the' tapis, and it was with
a heavy, miserable heart that Jack en
tered the drawing room at the sounding
of the gong. - ..
What, then; was his surprise to -see hit
ancle ' standing on the hearthrug, in
cased as to' his nether limbs in evening
inexpressibles, and to hear him say to a
guest, who had made a jocular inquiry
on the subject: '-Yes, a most extraor
dinary thing. They had' somehow got
folded away by mistake inside Lily's
riding- habit, and sent up- to her room.
She found them there this morning. '
: : . i '
After dinner, in the drawing room,
while Jack was sitting by himself apart
from the others, pretending to read, but
really speculating on the extraordinary
and inexplicable result 6f the trousers
episode, Lily strolled across to him, and
said in- a- low voice, with an amused ,
twinkle in her soft, bright eyes: .
"Jack, it was an awfully bold stroke
of yours to leave those those well, 1
suppose there is no harm in the word
those tronsen in my bedroom last night.
"Oh, I say, it was an accident really,"
grasped Jack, seeing that the girl 'had
somehow mastered his secret, and that
denial would be useless. "But was it
your room where I left them? And how
did you find out it was me?"
"By guess work," she replied, laugh
ing. "I am rather sharp in putting two
and two together. ' Why and
how you managed to split the articles 1
failed to conjecture; but that you were
the culprit your demeanor last night
and today has sufficiently shown me.
When I found them last night orfthe
floor behind the door of my bedroom 1
did not quite know what to do. But
having slept upon the matter and con
firmed my over night suspicions of
you by, observation at breakfast this
morning I determined (with an arch
look) to take the hint - given- me
in so pronounced a manner. I thre
fore stitched up the split seam and
took the garments to father's room, tell
ing him that' harmless little fib which
you have heard him unsuspiciously re
peat tonight. Now Jack, don't yon
think I have repaid you for your . kind
ness, in fetching me that novel yester
"A hundred times over!" exclaimed
Jack, his face beaming with gratitude
and relief. Upon my word, you're a
real brick,' Lily P ' "
We may add that this-episode of the
inexpressibles, which ' had come so near
doing for Jack with his uncle, really be
came .the .making of him, for it origi
nated the good understanding which sub
sequently sprang- up between the lad
and his cousin, and in after years, when
he had married Lily and succeeded to
the bulk of the old - man's fortune, he
was always telling his friends the above
story and - impressing oir them' ' how he
owed his prosperity entirely to "Uncle
Tester's Trousers." London Truth.
SJIIPES & KIJiERSLY,
Wholesale an4 Retail Drnaists.
Imported, Key . West and Domestic
Now is the tf me to paint your house
and if you wish to get the best quality
and a fine color use the
' Sherwin, Williams Cos Paint.
For those wishing to see the quality
and color of the above paint we call their
attention to the residence of 8. L. Brooks,
Judge Bennett, Smith French and others
painted by Paul Kreft.
Snipes & Kinersly are agents for the
above paint for The Dalles, Or.
Don't Forget the
MacDonaf Bros., Props.
THE BEST OF
fines, Liprs and Cigars
ALWAYS ON HAND.
t E. BjgEgp CO.,
Opera House Bloek,3d St.
PROPRIETOR OFTH "
New Yogt Block, Second St
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL
Liquor ;.- Dealer,
MILWAUKEE BEER ON DRAUGHT.
Health is Wealth !
Dr. E. C. West's Khevi anb Brain Treat
ment, a guaranteed specific for Hysteria, Dizzi
ness, ConyuIsionB, Kits, Nervous Neuralgia,
Headache, Nervous Prostration caused by the use
of alcohol or tobacco, Wakefulness, Mental De
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sanity and leading to misery, decay and death,
Premature Old Age, Barrenness, Loss of Power
in either sex, Involuntary Losses and Spermat
orrhoea caused by over exertion of the brain, self
abuse of over indulgence.- Each box contains
one month's treatment. $1.00 a box, or six boxes
for $5.00, sent by mail prepaid on receipt of price.
WK GUARANTEE SIX BOXES -To
cure any case. - With each order received by
us for six boxes, accompanied by (5.00, we will
send the purchaser our written guarantee to re
fund the money if the treatment does not effect
a cure. Guarantees issued only by '
BLAKELKY & HOUGHTON,
175 Second St. The Dalles, Or.
YOU NiSED BUT ASK
The 8. B. Headache and Liver Cure taken
according to directions will keep -your Blood,
liver and Kidneys in good order. .
The S. B. Coitoh Cure for Colds, Coughs
and Croup, in- connection with the Headache
Cure, is as near perfect as anything known.
The 8. B. Alpha Pain Curb for internal and
external use, in Neuralgia, Toothache, Cramp
Colic and Cholera Morbus, is unsurpassed. They
are well liked wherever known. Manufactured
it Dufur, Oregon. For (ale by all druggUU
tub Dalles Cfiionicle
is here and has come to stay. It hopes
to win its way to public favor by ener
gy, industry and merit; and to this end
we ask that you give it a fair trial, and:
if satisfied with its course a generous
four pages of six columns each, will be
issued every evening, except Sunday,
and will be delivered in the city, or sent
by mail for the moderate sum of fifty
cents a montn.
will be to advertise the resources of the
city; and adjacent country, to assist in
developing our industries, in extending
and opening up new channels for our;
trade, in securing an open river, and in
helping THE DALLES to take her prop
er position as the
Leading City of; Eastern Oregon.
The paper, both daily and weekly, will
be independent in politics, and in its
criticism of political matters, as in its
handling of local affairs, it will be
JUST. FAIR AND IMPARTIAL
We will endeavor to give all the lo
cal hews, and we ask that your criticism
of, our object and course, be formed from
the contents of the paper, and not from
rash assertions of outside parties.
sent to any address for $1.50 per year.
It will contain from four to six eierht
column pages, and
to make it the equal of the best, Ask
your Postmaster for a copy, or address.
THE CHRONICLE PUB. GO.
Office, N. W. Cor. Washington and Second Sts.
The Grate City of the Inland Empire is situated at
the head of navigation on the Middle Columbia, and
is a thriving, prosperous city.
It is the supply city for an extensive and rich agri
cultural an grazing country, its trade reaching as
far south as Summer Lake, a , distance of over twe
" THE LARGEST WOOL MARKET.
The rich grazing country along the eastern slop-,
of the the Cascades furnishes pasture for. thousand&f'
of sheep, the wool from -w-hich finds market here.
The" Dalles is, the largest original -wool shipping x
point in .America, about 5,000,000 pounds being1
shipped last year.
The salmon fisheries are the finest on the Columbia
yielding this year a revenue of $1,500,000 -which can
and "will be more than doubled in the nedr future. '
The products of the beautiful KHcMtal . valley find
market here, and the country south and east has this
year filled the warehouses, and all available storage
places to pverfiowins "with their products:
ITS WTlALTTT 1 "
It is the richest city of its size on the coast, and its
money is scattered over and is being used to develop
more farming country than is tributary to any otheir
city in Eastern Oregon. .
Its situation is unsurpassedT Its climate' delight-;
ful! Its possibilities incalculable! Its resources un
limited! And on these corner stones she stands.
we shall endeavor