As
Eesi WM smd Emmm by Wsmous Artists f of Toiirig annffl M
COPIUQUJ. 1V0T. fcy AMtaUOUI-J00aUIAJeIAstltt
The Utile Wicked 'Bab ies.
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE.
THE little wicked babies that dare to come in flocki
And overcrowd the flats that fill the overcrowded block.
That dare to come a-hungering, with wanton baby greed.
Demanding that they share the food the other children need
Full stemly must we deal with them who, sinners from their birth
Come all unwanted and unbid mere cumberers of earth.
WE'LL shut them up In tenements to swelter In the heat,
Their playgrounds shall be reeking halls, their parks the dirty street.
We II give them glimpses of the haunts where happier children play
And sow the seeds of jealousy to bring forth fruit some day.
And we will hide our part in this with many a paltering lie.
That they may know they're born to grief, but never find out why.
AND oh! the wicked mothers, with the doting mother-hearts.
Who shield the little criminals who dare to take their parts,
Who toil the dreary years along through sorrowing and need.
To ve them from the penalties our justice has decreed:
Shall they uphold the wretched babes in all the wrongs they do?
Shall they protect them from our world, and go unpunished, too?
Y7 F-'LL set them down to entertain that silent Visitor,
W The guest who always knows his way to every East Side door.
We'll fill their souls with suffering, and load their hearts with eares.
And teach them how it hurts to want what never may be theirs,
Till there, above the cradle still, with aching heads bent low,
They wonder if It was His will that we have used them so.
In Plain Language.
WM'e vl1ftn the Kmith recently trar
'!lfr chanced npon resident of a sleepy
hamlet In Alabama.
"Are yon i native ef this town?" liked
the traveller.
"Am 1 i what?" languidly asked the one
ad'lreed.
"Are von a native if the town?
"What's that?"
"I eaked Ton whether yon were a native
of the place T
Af this Juncture there appeared at the
open dnor of the cabin the man'a wtfe.
tall, sallow and rannt. After a careful
snrvev of the questioner, ahe said:
"Ain't von nt no aenae. Bill? He mean.
to' llvln" hrab when tod waa horn, or
wa to' born before to' begun HtId" heah.
Now amwor blm" Sncceas.
A Vacation Hint.
Mother Wnst'i that I hear? Franr
srtnallr klxed Ton it the rallwar ststloii?
And what did yon do. pray? Daughter
Well, an a. to make everybody think he
wn a relative and o prevent a scandal.
kissed hi' too. Fl legends niaetter.
Dead Cities.
"VThnt became of NlneTeh?" a iked the
Fnndav ar-hoo) teacher.
"It was destroyed," iald Johnny
promptly.
Weekly.
"Fldo
Ann what necame of Tyrer
"Punctured." Cleveland Leader.
them
The Novel Fakers.
By VEX JONES.
A latryrr htm writtrn iiOfCl In trhlrh
the cilu editor of nitvepnper rrmnin In
the office until t a. tn. fe doth oft hit lead
ing editorial
I. THE WRECK By Alfred
ExnrtkS, of the New York Bar.
1
SEE some land," called the look
out from his lofty position on the
front mast
single bound Captain Cork wis up-
In a
stairs.
"Swing th. rudder to the lef t r he yelled
to the man nt the wheeel.
"Yes. yea, air," nnawered the Tack Tar.
There was a crash. The good steamboat
Pen-drop nm In a head-on collision with a
large projei-tln rock. T.arge waves swept
over the deck. All was confusion.
, Captain Cork alone retained his coolness
Tie shouted out a ffiilck series of nautical
orders. "Come along, my hearties!" he
cried, "heare to with a will, ii lay there
and 'Tast heavlnz. Let go the spinnaker
end make fast the tarpaulin. Overboa.d
with the binnacle and overhaul the leaj.
l'o. heare bo, my hearts of oak I"
Instantly order was brought out of chaos.
Mildred McOllllcuddy, a lovely passenger,
murmured: "How heroic the dear captain
la."
Captain Cor, a bachelor from birth,
blushed and climbed the rigging to amid
getting his feet wet in the water- vrhlch
now poured over the roof of the brlgan-
tine.
"Where is the engineer?" he cried.
"Aloft, oiling the cathead, atr."
"Whore la the boatawaln?"
"Down In foe basement with the Janitor,
sir, turning off the gns."
"Then tell the conductor to give two
bells ahead, ordered Captain Cork.
The motorman turned on the Juice and
the gallant schooner, under every stitch of
canvas, from courses to skjsalls, shot for
ward. "Saved!" cried Mildred.
"Saved I" piped the crew.
Captain Cork, reeling from the strain he
bad passed ta rough, sought the shade of
the lee scuppers.
"Belay my binnacle!" he exclaimed bit
terly, as tho good barque Dewdrop
ploughed through the sand, "I suppose
the author'll make that girl and me get
spliced."
No Fake, This.
Mr. Oocklln, walking In thick grass near
the Marlco Itiver, Bcchimnalnnd, was
thrown to the ground by n 14-foot python,
which colled around his legs and then tried
to drag him to a tree near by, so that, by
colling Its talt aronnd the trunk, It might
proceed to crnsh him to death. When
within two yards of the tree Mr. Cocktln
got a hand free and shot the snake, which
was so heavy that it needed three men to
lift It. East London Dispatch.
A Graver Offence.
A prisoner was brought before a police
magistrate. The latter looked around and
discovered that his clerk was absent
"Officer." he aald. "what's this man
cnarged with V
"Bigotry, your honor. He's' got three
WIT."
The magistrate looked at the officer as
Chough astounded at sis Ignorance.
Why. officer." he said, f that's not Wg-
sxxj taat'i trionomtry,"i--Detroit NSWS.J,'
IHtM
00
(AOJ
This Lan guage of Ours.
"FYlel kit a weak end nerTOtia roller to
Anderson, who itahhed at It."
"The two men on bases were tearing
around like tomeata filled with blrdshot."
"Frlel waa throwing; the mad head high
aa be ploughed "
"Anderson gathered the damn horsehlde
and chocked It."
"The fleldlnr on both sides wia free,
with saffron toucboa."
"The alanal ts turn the electricity oo
wis made by Caatlllon."
"Big John Anderson nipped a alngle off
Robertallle."
"Mil and rerrtoe crabbed the bounding
atmosphere." j
"Hughes and fatten tot demerit fori
elilne- their left feet." I
"Hobby tried a damp sling." Washington I
Post
i
r1 rVL
WHY
) THl-S
The Bookkeepers.
The nnglllst should keen a scrap booh.
The burglar aa entry-hook.
The acrobat balance-nook.
The cook a reference-book.
The yschtsman-a aalos-booa.
The wife an order-book.
The husband a blank-book. narper'S:
Wise Dog.
'Oh. madam." aald the Frenrli maid. I
weel not eat se bon bona." "The '
dear, Intelligent little doggie!" exclaimed :
Mrs. Rich. "There must l ioiiiclliliig
wronir with thoae bon bona. floe. (ilvo
to the children." Detroit Free frees. I
Mr.
l-PTKANCKK-JJr. Mark. 1 have Juat rem
riiaO
from l'nnama, where I've been working on
cnnnl. nml I brouirht with me some verv
the
fine
Panama hats. Hero 1b one that you cou
hnr for leas than a hundred dollara In
Idu't
this
country, hut I'll let you have It for tweu
E. Z. MARK Ry .Tove, that'a a bargain. 11
ere'a
vour twenty dollars.
i 1 1 i t 1 i-"
I fTtT tTV I I ( I P TOVT O TDn I I EV I
- ww igetmy fc-X Ripe, i know
n ar." i x i i m s. i i i
AUTOflNO VmJ skl M PANDV.S. L V
(ySThitch onto mT I fcuesi this is "NfcooJcoofj .T -V
coat, ta its and ill ( - )l ,J r kWTi OicCS X
""
THE HALL
They Do It
Copyright, lBoT. by
' LEFb BLOW OULVESV .(WEMHER GjVfcS )
LUNCH TIME,. ITS 15 JT) ONE. V " VS'ST? S
PAST II S MINUTES PTS 1HF.RE. C0ME.5 MAMIE)
u T "V MORE rCW'A OpOODLE.. DON'T
jg n.rrr (JT HER Hf AR US
5 WAIT FEROIE . THERE'S THE MIUIONBUCK
IUT C0INQ1N.QEE? IT"5 A GOOD THING I
THEM IN TIME - AS I'VE ONLY GOT APOUT A
GIRLS
SAW c
OUARTt
MH SLIDE IN Wl
itN IHfTVOV Viy " 1 id t
STARTED TODRlNn
their , vryv?jQ
S0DA5.AND '
WELL
THE ,
HAVE. CRUSHED SYRAWBER
GOOD
Ml 5S D0H0T HY, IS IT REALLY YOU '
, AFTERNOON,
IS INDtEU A PLEASURE MEETING
MR. HALL-
( v n rv"V' t
YOU ISNT IT TOO BAD WE WEREN'T A I
aAKrki t. r iro a l tr t a .... .X . . ' I
ROOM.
tiLru.eDi Jtit.gr inLnnnLi TUU W
They Almost Go Broke
Mark Buys a Pans ma Hat.
Copjrltlit. 11W7, br Amerlnn Jouml Enmlnrr.
K. V.. MAItK Well. Mnry. Imw do you like my
new ranmiin? And I only !: f I twenty dullard
far It. too. Isn't that a luir::ilu?
MKS. MAKK-I suppose It's like all jour bar-
gains worth about one tenth what you paid
for It.
It Happened
L (
The Hippo Kid and
ROOM BOYS.
On $9.50 Per,
American Journal 1 1 trainer.
) AND HAVE" A 10 CENTLM . THEY SEFWE. J
r7H?- fWE ONE brlO IS OF CRU1HTD
tOU P.UY
CHECnco. HERE'S
NICri.L - THAT
SQUARES Ub.
Y0O0WF.U
ME 5crNT3
NluMT.
1 HEY RE BUSY ON
YE.1FEATINGAT
"THE 30B- I
C.UESS WF. CAN
A THI0V CCME5,
HIGH-
G0 IN NOW-
tifxrruj'ir 'set
ISA 'I,' .1 ,'- -.artrV
-rw
llh Xri . 1
I?
. s7 I yi r
Ah E N'T IHESDASINHeFaE JUST lOvKLY- TUST SO
1 THAT YOU WONT FFF.L SO BAD. YOU CAN 1HI AT
CRUSHED- -lR-At0THER!(UON I HINJ
l-ER OURE-FF HDiE ,G0
iTsTCfjUlDDniMK
ovf
VFR ANUGET ACOUrLE
Jj ATJOTHEH ONE
' tr
MORE
Buying Ice Cream Soda.
K. Z. M AUK Now, Mary. J.iM t -tiln-e
ou, I'm going to soak Ill's hat in n.itt-r. No
iiat hut a l'aiiaiua will Maml Unit Irst. as j mi
know. Thin om- la 1 1 1 n-nl thing, n ml will
shell water like n duck's l.arl.. Now Just
watch I
In Blrdland.
HE.DONT OWN
AN AUTo! ME.
WAS ONLY
BLUFFING.
the Roller Skates.
Ready for
By
DLOW the fifti and brat the drums.
The
ie nation s
onous
birthd
comes.
Land of ihe brave, home of the free
Won't we celebratel Hully gee!
WE'VE been ready a week or more ;
Mother's laid in a double
store
Arnica, bandages, oil and lotions,
Plaster and pills, and toothing potioni:
Everywhere that a fellow turns
He trips on something that's good for
burns.
Mother says with pride that we
Are the readiest patriots you could see.
CATHER'S bought crutches and
wooden legs.
Some of his children must lose their
P"g-
But legs are trifles, says Dad, says he.
When lost in the cause of liberty.
And as for a finger, ear or eye.
They're nothing at all on the Fourth
,
7
of July.
RANDAD is ready, too. you bet.
With everything that it's wise
to get
Double insurance our house Is wood;
A cute little monument, all to the good.
To place o'er the one whose happy lot
May lead to rest in our burial plot.
He's old. is Grandad, but never says
die,
Except, of course, on the Fourth of
July.
DLOW the fife and bang the drum.
- Light the fuse and let 'er cornel
Applied to Wrong Place.
Mr. 1 1 ink j went Into a chemist's shop
and Vright t bottle of patent stntr whirl)
wai adrertlaed thus: "No more coughs.
No more roldi. la. IVid. the bottle."
Three dajri later he went to the chemist,
complaining that hta throat was stopped up
and that he could acarcely breathe. "I've
drunk all that patent cough mixture, iDd
, I'm no better."
! "liriink It? WtiT, that's an Inrtla-ruhhcr
solution to put on the soles of your shoev"
, Tit-Bits.
-MKS MAItK Yes. It sheds water beautifully,
ilncbii't It? If you'd kept It In there n minute
longer, there wouldn't have lieon anything left
of It. Ami you paid twenty dollara for that!
Twenty cents would have been too much.
You're a great bargain hunter, you arel
Coi-j-tljht, 190T. by Ameriein-Jouniiil -Examine r.
Coryrlfiht, 1907. by Ajnerloan-Joumal-LitmlDer.
the Fourth.
WEX JONES.
lay
Not to Blame, ?
A Massachusetts man recently came ta
trlef in a horse transactlotl. after hta
rhaae he ionght out the man and demanded
what the owner had meant by telling bins
the horsu waa "without a fault"
"Tils morning; I discovered that the beast
la blind In one eye," protested the pnr
chsaer. "You weren't telling me the truth.
I ron knoa r
"Aw. cwan I" came from the hardened
dealer. "That ain't hl fault: that'a nil
' mUfortune." Harper's Weekly. '
A Boy with Brains.
Ry REV. THOMAS B. GREGORY.
pm MONO the patrimonial assets ef
rji young rtene de Fontenllllat la
J I "title of nobility" an art ?l that
has a great many charms for many people
In the Old World and for not a few folk
on this aide of the sea.
Put the sensible little fellow whose nam
appears above does not seem to care
"sixpence" for the aforesaid asset It If
all his. his br belna- the son of Baron da
Fontenllllat, "of distinguished French llne-
ge." but the "boy with brains" declares
that he wants nothing to do with It, that
he desires to be an American citizen and
grow up with the country, and asks no
favors from the Old World gewgaw and
tinsel. M
We may safely predict foffthls boy a
splendid future. The fact that ha has the
right sort of gray matter In bis brain-pan
Is attested by his attltnde toward hut
'title," and in thla land of magnificent op
portunity he Is likely to achieve the honor
compared with which the musty heraldries
of the Old World are but as dust and ' "
ashes. !
Young Rene de Fontenllllat. tecanse ha U .
young. I necessarily more or less of a
stranger to the literature of the world,
and therefor we would beg to remind the -
young gentleman of one of the brightest
paragraphs In the. justly celebrated "Coo
rersutlous of Goethe with Ekermana and
j Gorei." One day the "power that. bo"
In the Fatherland conferred npon tho King '
of German literature a tltlo that placed
him dangerously near the nobility. Tht)
report of the "honor" wag no' aoonef '
nolaed abroad than Goethe began to receive
congratulations. But with characterlitlo
good sense the author of "Faust" and
"lpUlgeula" curtly Informed titan Ciat he) '
did not care a flg for tho honor that had
come to him from the Court, "t thaf tht
"Uti" was not worth the paper It was
written ou. and that his only "UU to no
bil.iy" consisted of his natural endow
ment from God his bratn and character
ami his capacity for certain work sac
as the production of Immortal poem and
stories. .;.
Goethe has been dead a long time, but
It Is good to kuow that his aplrlt Is still
mureulug ou" and tbat.lt la able to show
itself in such power In the lusUnce of
the young hero of our story.
To bo an American oltu i. n..
up to the full I measura of Us glorious possl
bjiltles and obUgaUona, la to Ce that which
Is far ajead : of any foreign duka or count
who has nothing but bis dukedom or eount
ship to fall back upon or boast ot
The only nobility in thla world that Is
worth a copper la the nobility of usefulness
and honor, and to that height any Ameri
can citizen may rta who has wo rigil
ituS in him.
Verdict for the Defendant '
-'A boy about fourteen years old bad been -put
oo the stand by the defence, and the
District Attorney waa esauilulng him.
After 'the usual preliminary questions as
to the witness's age, residence, and the
like, he proceeded: "Have you any oocu
patlonr' "No." "Just loaf shoot homer
'That's about all." "What does roar father
dol, "Nothin' much." ''Does be do any.
thing to supports the family r" "lie does
odd Jobs once in a while, when ho ean gel
them." "As a matter ef fact, Isn't your
father a pretty worthless fellow,-a d-a I
beat, and a ioafarT" "I don't snow, lrj
yoad better ask him. lie's sliiin', pru
tharo ta the Jury-" Argonaut,
Tljey Mfgnt Buy.
"Bartre'a Peerage, ah V
"Thinking of bnylng a dutsT
,:No. Uut mother aoii tn glrU do lyf
to shop." Wasuiiiguia titxuid,
I SKyiNd CtifA) tJl
nxk
7 '