The Oregon daily journal., August 13, 1903, Page 4, Image 4

PORTLAND
OREGON
EDITORIAL PAGE OF THE JOURNAL
' THURSSDAY
7 AUGUST, 13 ,'.
The OREGON DAILY journal
AN INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER
JOURNAL PUBLISHING CO.,. . Proprietor
C. 8. JACKSON Publisher
Published every evening (except Sunday)
at The Journal Building, Fifth and
Yamhill Sts.. Portland, Or,
manifestly look forward not only to a united
party, but to one that will be In a position to
make a strong- campaign before the people.
Progress has therefore been made and a
the unexpected usually happens, It would be
the part of wisdom for those Interested In
such affairs to keep their weather eye on the
political situation and make note of the
hopeful Democratic signs.
r
GOOD EVENING.
Respect to age and kindness to child
ren, are among the tests of an amiable
disposition. Undevlnting civility to
those of inferior stations, and courtesy
! to all. are the emanations of a well-ed
I - - . i . '." i it . :v. r. i :m it a t- -
ucaiea minu auu uuriy-uumuv.-cu rn-
Ings. There Is a certain blending of
dignity with sweetness, not often ex
hibited, but always Irresistible. With
out creating reserve, or chilling friend
ship, it repels every Improper freedom,
end couples respect with love. It com
bines a correct estimate of the high
destines of, our nature with a tender
sympathy for all ita infirmities.
Slgourney.
Portland policeman under
regulations without a red atrip
A GREAT DAY FOR PORTLAND.
THE NEXT THING IN ORDER will be
a ukase from department head
quortera requiting ths policemen to
wear real muzzlea while on duty. They
must now wear red atripes down the outside
seam of their regulation trousers, which, as
Mulvaney would say. Is a perfect inspira
tion of "ganius" In the wild and wooly effort
being made to apprehend red-handed crim
inals. How a
the old
to his trousers, could have been expected to
rise to the exalted height of his opportun
ities, is quite beyond the apprehension of
men who, unfortunately for themselves, have
had none of the training aa sleuths, of which
Chief Hunt so modestly boasts. Everybody
can now see how unreasonable It was to
have expected practical results In criminal
catching from men devoid of red atripes, and
The Journal feels assured that the teeming
populace of Portland, once it realizes to the
full the vital force of the suggestion, will
straightway rise and call the chief blessed
for his noble effort to ameliorate the sad lot
of the underpaid, over-worked and unjustly
bused policeman.
Neither hereafter, under the same regula
tions, may there be any convivial contact,
during hours of duty, with the poisonous
devils that lurk in the bottom of the glass.
Oambrinus must neither be wooed nor dal-
A DIFFERENCE.
T SEEMB TO BE SETTLED that Mr.
lac. .w ooo,lrjfed District
Attorney. He begins to appreciate the
difference between Mr. Brownell as a "bal
ance of power" and Mr. Brownell aa "a load
to carry." In one capacity he makes United
States Senators. In the other he la un
made by them. It is the difference between
Warwick and Woolsey and Is represented to
the mind's eye of Mr. Brownell by those al-
fTwmMi lc6urr."i for, .taking ...and., aftex 1
taking," with the pictures chronologically
reversed. Mr. Brownell ITtu had experiences
enjoyed by few politicians. He has seen
men change from friends into United States
Senators before his very eyes, with hla own
connivance. Indeed he has been the author
of the transformation. He looks upon his
handiwork and finds it Is not good for him.
The machine he has served so well discovers
that he la "impossible" and lifts him tenderly
out of the band wagon. He was useful as
a ladder, but not suitable aa a platform.
He muat fondly remember the days of his
power, when the great of the earth did him
obeisance. He was la demand then. "Now
la the time to help me." wrote Mr. Scott, but
Mr. Brownell did not think so. He thought
it was the time to help Mr. Brownell. He
wanted the District Attorneyship, and Mr,
Fulton had promised it. Therefore, he man
ufactured a Senator to suit himself. He
had already performed a similar service for
Mr. Mitchell. Two Senators were all he
needed In his business. He rounded up his
Job with an engaging smile, which has since
been freeslng into a stony stare. He
counted his Senators before they were
batched, and the aubsequent incubation haa
not turned out all that could reasonably be
dealred.
With all his fidelity to his own supposed
Interests, George C. finds others Just as de
voted to their interests. He Is now given to
understand that the machine cannot carry
the weight of a reputation he has earned
principally by serving it too long and faith
fully. He Is given to understand, but he
does not understand. He does not see how
the work he has done, and the methods he
haa used, discredit him and do not discredit
the people who are the beneficiaries of them.
Mr. Fulton protests his fidelity to Mr,
Brownell for publication. But the Clack
a mas statesman suspects the accord with
which the Senators disagree about the ap
HOW THE WAR GAME IS PLAYED.
Admiral Walker to Admiral Sands: "You're If
BANKING IN THE SCH00L8.
Why ths Plan
lied with and old Kin Corn mav be enioved
as fodder, but not in that sublimated liquid polntment. It la to him a device to let him
form in which it la now dispensed to the down easy. They are said now to be hunt-
great satisfaction of the thoughtless multi
tude. Neither must the productive high sign
be given at the "family entrance," nor the
expressive digit raised, nor the elbow
crooked In the teeming beer hall or behind
the door hereof. All those recreations are
for men In other walks, haply guiltless of
red stripes and recklessly indifferent as to
Whether school keeps or not.
Neither may the red-striped guardian of
the public peace accumulate cigars from his
admiring friends, as he proudly paces his
beat That, doubtless, la a perquisite which
the chief reserves for himself, to relieve
the tedium of the more exacting duties and
to prove that though mighty In his sphere,
he Is still gifted with some human Instincts
and has spiritual longings that must be sat
isfled, even though, he bend to the level of
the ordinary mortal.
And the policeman . must keep a still
tongue between his teeth, according to the
' latest pronunciamento of Chief Hunt. Ha
cannot thrust aside, no matter how haughty
his bearing, the frank and outspoken fem
inine admiration that always was and al
ways will be his. But he may not conde
scend or encourage conversation, convivial
or otherwise; he may not come down from
his pedestal and "mix" as has been his
wonted way. So far as the fair sex Is con
cerned, he is to be an automaton and that is
all. With the sterner sex his relations are
to be purely official. When addressed by a
pedestrian he is to stand at attention and
gravely and respectfully salute. Then ht
is to wait until he learns whether or not the
communication is along official lines. If It
is, he is to answer briefly and to the point,
without waste of words. Having done this
he is presumably to pursue the even tenor of
his way with both red stripes on the outside
' seam of his trousers and perfectly at peace
with the world. Whether or not he may,
under certain circumstances, demand that
the communication be put In writing, has
not yet been determined.
If the communication is not official, he Is
respectfully to touch the brim of his helmet
with the forefinger of his right hand, turn
unbendingly on his heels and move twelve
paces obliquely to another part of the side
walk. Then he is to buy a new uniform with a
red stripe down the outside seam of each
trouser leg.
Thus, thus, will the country be saved,
wild-eyed criminals apprehended, arsonists
caught (officially) with their torches in their
hands and the good citizens of Portland all
agrin In peace and security will bless the
happy day when Chief Hunt had his inspira
tion and the gallant coppers of this town
got their red stripes and the muzzles apper
taining thereto.
Ing for a less conspicuous place for him
where they can bide his light under a bushel.
preserve machine proprieties, and yet pay
an acknowledged debt a soft spot, so to
speak, for him to light on. A.compromlse is
sought between disowning and rewarding
him. r
Mr. Brownell's polltleaLxaeer and he has
no other Illustrates the possibilities of ma
chine politics. No man, except perhaps Mr.
Mitchell, haa been more condemned and yet
more successful in maintaining himself. He
haa been alternately derided and praised by
the same people. He Is the product of ma
chine politics, and so long as the machine
shall last, Is to be reckoned with. And
though he Is subject to criticism, it does
not 11a In the mouth of his political asso
ciates to utter It. He Is of them, and re
flections upon him are reflections upon them.
It la not Intended to advocate Mr.
Brownell. Ha Is not advocable. It is only
meant to point to an Illustration of the fore
gone results that flow and always will flow
Is a Good On for the
Children.
(From the Boston Transcript.)
Banking In the public schools is meeting
with much success wherever It has been In
troduced. By Its means children are taught
to take care of their pennies, which are de
posited In their, school banks, and these
seemingly insignificant sums soon amount to
dollars. The secret and essence of thrift
tend to exalt things Into higher value.
While It consists In the obtaining and putting
out of money and decldti how and at what
limit we must save and spend, yet it moves
in the higher -ranges of our nature. Thrift
has no secrets. It tells frankly of fore
thought and exhibits the process of saving
for future use. It looks after little things
and points the way to carefulness. It
reaches a thorough knowledge of one's af
fairs and Is exact in Its dealings. It keeps
secret account of Its credits and debits
down to the cent and reports its balanced
accounts daily. It keeps company with a'l
the virtues. It antagonizes all the vices. It
favors a full manhood and works out health
ful results from ofttirhea most unpromising
beginnings.
The school may teach a business form
without Imparting the business character
istic, but In school banking the latter Is tbo
sole aim and design. It would not present a
young man to a business house thoroughly
conversant with business, but having self
Indulging personal habits. On the other
hand, It would send the hosts of youth out
Into awaiting fields of practical endeavor
knowing how to keep a 'dollar after It haa
been earned.
But the practice of the school banking
system Is scarcely less advantageous to the
savings institutions receiving the deposits
than to the depositors themselves relative
alone to financial considerations. While the
handling of a largely Increased number of
accounts entails some extra expense and cler
ical labor, yet savings banks have uniformly
founded in compensating conditions, ample
Justification for their co-Qperation with the
school. Parents and friends have been stim
ulated by the example of children noticeably
Increasing the list of depositors and amount
of deposits. The advantages of the sav
ings bank have been thus advertised to the
public at a slight expense.
The school savings bank system Is now
In operation In 1479 schools of 118 -cities,
situated In .24 states of the Union, and of
COREY'S SALARY $75,000 A YEAR.
the dominant party in this state.
X70 4K7 scholars on the resriater. 188.578 Are
from the political methods that distinguish deposJtor, of iUo9,6il. of which $869,878.48
haa been withdrawn, leaving a balance of
8439,732.62 due little deposltora to January,
1902. It Is calculated that more than $2,-
000,000 has been saved by the American
children since the Introduction of the plan
of 1885. Is not such result sufficient to Jus
tify the universal adoption of the plan,
which, besides the monetary question, has
proved to be a powerful agent of social re
form?
N'
THE FIREBUG.
OT ONLY THE POLICE but the pub
lic should keep a sharp lookout for
firebugs. There has been much pub
lic clamor about footpads, but a footpad in
his worst form is an unoffending gentleman
when compared to a firebug. The latter us
ually has nothing to gain except revenge.
When he starts a fire no one can tell wjien
or where It will- stop. If conditions are
favorable It may destroy thousands of dol
lars worth of property and many human
lives, including those of women and children,
may be sacrificed.
The firebug neither knows nor cares what
may be the consequences of his devlllshness;
the bigger and wrose the better he is
satisfied. He is therefore an outlaw beyond
the pale of human sympathy. His hand is
raised against the whole world, and the
whole world in self-defense must be against
him. He should be hunted down like a mad
dog and shown no mercy.
NEW ARMY RIFLE.
Steel Trust Pays Him $25,000 Less Than
Sohwab Reoeived.
(New Tork World.)
The salary of William E. Corey, president
of the United States Steel Corporation, who
was elected on Tuesday to succeed Charles
M. Schwab, has been fixed at 875,000 a year,
This is $28,000 less than the salary which
Mr. Schwab received. '
A high official of the steel corporation yes
terday said that the current stories that
Charles M. Schwab Vecelved between $800,-
000 and $1,000,000 a year salary has always
caused a great deal of amusement among the
directors, but that the story was never de
nied until' It was discovered, that it was do
ing positive harm. It created the Impres
sion among the stockholders that ths man
agement had been profligate In Its expend;
iturea, and It was thought best to give out
a semi-official statement on the subject.
The reduction Irl the salary of president
Is nojt Intended to be any reflection upon the
ability and value of the services of Mr.
Corey. In the first place, according to this
official, under the profit-sharing plan which
the company has arranged, Mr. Corey will
recede a handsome dividend every year in
addition to his salary. This dividend, how
ever, will not be over $25,000 a year. In
the second place, Mr. Schwab's duties have
been divided between Mr. Corey and E. H.
Gary, who becomes- chairman of the board
of directors, a position which Mr. Schwab
occupied ex-offlclo, although the duties of
this position had never before been defined.
At the office of J. P. Morgan Co. yes
terday a member of the firm declined to dis
cuss the question of Mr. Corey's salary, but
it was Intimated that the sum named, $75,
000, was correct.
Mr. Schwab left the city for Atlantic City
yesterday afternoon in his private car at
tached to a regular train on the Pennsyl
vania Railroad. Before leaving he said: "I
shall take no part In any active business,
but shall devote all my time to resting and
recovering my health. If I should at any
time get back into harness, if I can And the
tfme to spare from my personal affairs to
devote to business. It will be In the interests
of the United States Steel Corporation."
THE BIG FELLOW'S VEST.
It Was a Lulu from the Headwaters, But
Lacked a Name.
i (New York Sun.)
When the noonday sun was having Ita per
pellicular crack at Broadway and the busi
ness section around Fourteenth street wag
making for lunch, John L. Sullivan, right
from the tub, stepped from the Morton
House door to sun himself on the curb. Hla
coat was thrown back carelessly, revealing
a new waistcoat of vague color. Sinuous
stripes of purple ran perplexingly through
the basic cplor of the garment, defying; the
eye to tell whether they were going up' or
toa: , down. . Where the garment parted
just doiow me snin sma to'iwinemp arbintw
the big fellow's neck the collar had been
cut by a craftsman who knew the true
sweep of an artistic curve. Above the sheen
of white lhcn a wine-colored tie of noble
proportions was knotted Into a bow.
Two men who couldn t agree on a horse
J SHOFiT STORIES
' the Knew Her Sex.
' (New York Sun.)
The beautiful young prisoner entered the
witness box In her own behalf,
"What la your age. Missf asked the
lawyer. . '
"Forty-eight,; was the steady reply.
The feminine jury caught its breath with
an audible little gasp and eat there, rigid.
"How much did that hat cost which you
have on?" '
.vJfl?tv,eiht.Aeota." . , . .
ma ..mi nl !w -. ,L. ' - .ifi
r-i ,7" t"v7 vl iu crime iui m
charged agalnat your concluded the lawyer,
"No," answered the prisoner before the
bar. '
Thus did the wjly prisoner attempt first
to establish her veracity and then to con-
to win the first ra cm. nut nt thm hr vlnc the Jury that she was Innocent. But
and" f eHnatrMy -nder-4h-pell-e -the- tb . Jut3T waa eminlri9tX(V-oUni -u, It
wonaerrui waistcoat, jonn nodded to i r ' iuuu;
them as they drew near, studied the hue
In shadow and In sunlight, and fell out as
to whether It was brown, mauve, tan or
something else.
Out of the store across the way shot a
clerk with a time allowance of 15 minutes In
which to make of himself a human envelope
for pie, milk and sundries. One of the dis
putatious gentlemen who had an acquaint
ance with the clerk halted him.
"What is thatr said he. putting a finger
on a spot on the waistcoat.
John L. was Indifferently studying the
panorama of Union Square.
"Elephant's breath," said the clerk, who'd
been telling women for six months what the
shade was.
John L.'s lounging ear caught the reply
and interpreted It as a statistic of else. The
cane went over to the left hand, the fingers
of the right hand gave a twist to the mus
tache and John L. cried: "Wot's that?"
"Not breadth." said the questioner. "We
want to know what the color is."
'That's what I'm telling you," said the
clerk. "Elephant's breath."
"Elephant's breat'7" repeated John I.
looking down at the garment again. "Sayt
no elephant could live five minutes with a
breat' like that."
Then he shot a look from under the bushy
eyebrows at the clerk and asked: "Klddin
me? Elephant's breat,' eh? An, I s'pos
I'm wearln' a corset, ain't I? Back to the
millinery, you."
The clerk tried to laugh, but the grin had
a hospital .air about It, so he chased around
the corner toward the quick lunch, and aa
he went John L. bellowed:
"Does an elephant wear pearl buttons on
hla breat'. too?"
America for Amerloans.
(From the New York Tribune.)
We prefer Jefferson's idea of honest
friendship with all nations and entangling
alliances with none. We believe the United
States should cultivate friendly relations
with Great Britain. We believe that it
should also cultivate friendly relations with
Russia. We can see no good reason why It
should not be on perfectly cordial terms
with both. If ever, unhappily, there should
be acute animosity and hostility between
those two powers, we believe the United'
Judges as Arbitrators.
(From the New York Tribune.)
There is a deadlock on 'in the Alabama
coal fields between the operators and the
miners, and representatives of both the con
tending forces came to Philadelphia to ask
Judge Gray to act with them in ending the
controversy. This he has consented to do,
but to serve as an arbiter will cost him his
hard-earned month's vacation from the cir
cuit bench.
It is hardly fair on the public's part to
shift or seek to shift the burdens of ar
bitration in labor disputes to the shoulders
of the federal Judiciary. Our district and
circuit Judges have their energies already
full mortgaged. Hardly a session of Con
gress passes that some new duty Is not
laid upon them. The Jurisdiction of the fed
eral courts is constantly enlarging. The
powers entrusted to the Judiciary are being
vastly extended: and the business of the
federal courts is still outrunning yearly the
capacity of the Judges to hear causes and
administer Justice.
We do not know where fitter or wiser ar
biters could be found than In the ranks of
the federal Judiciary. Nor do we doubt tWat
most of our district and circuit Judges would
sacrifice. If the occasion really demanded It,
their own convenience to what they deemed
the call of duty. But there does seem to be
not only much personal hardship, but a se
rious Interruption of the orderly course of
States should not be made the tool of either
against the other, but should remain entirely Justice. Involved in summoning our federal don.t gajp you ,av'e But there
THE NATIONAL ASPECT.
THE WISE DEMOCRAT these days In
national politics is the man who ap
parently has no lightning rod up, but
who is industriously sawing wood, just the
same. The man who is openly in the field
will soon find himself a target, not only for
hla political enemies, but for men within his
own party with whose secret ambitions he
Is clashing. It is, therefore, wise while
keeping himself in the public eye, without
appearing to do It, to keep his real purpose
away Jn the background.
Meantime much grooming is being Indus
triously done and in so many different di
rections that the shrewd political observers
Reflections of a Bachelor.
(New York Press.)
It makes a woman very unhappy not to
have anything to be unhappy , over.
The man who tries to make a lot out of
nothing has to work twice as hard in the
end to get nothing.
The sensible husband is as careful not to
get In the way of his wife as in the way of
an automobile.
When a woman is willing to tell another
a scandal about herself It Ib a sign she al
ready knows it.
The same boy who is taught to believe
that the drumstick is the best part of the
turkey grows up to imagine that his Wife al
ways gives. In to him.
Turkey's New Trademark.
(St. Louis Globe-Democrat.)
Turkey has decided that its navy shall be
taken seriously. It Is building a warship
on which the mark will be made: "Made in
the United States." , -
8uch a Small Matter.
(Philadelphia North American.)
Mr. Keene says he is "merely annoyed"
by the loss of $1,500,000. We should like to
know What would make him really cross.
A Pleasant Thought
f (Confucius.)
He who wishes ta secure the good
others, has already secured his own,
of
Has More Power, Greater 8peed and Less
Weight.
(Minneapolis Tribune.)
From the description, the gun must re
semble the old cavalry carbines. It is six
Inches shorter than the Krag and a pound
lighter. The whole barrel is covered with
wood to prevent heating, and the clean
ing rod pulls out Into a pike bayonet, leav
ing the soldier free to carry an intrenching
tool at his belt, instead of the old scabbard
bayonet. It loads and fires like the Krag.
with a magazine for five cartridges filled
from a clip and a cut-off for aingle fire. The
differences are in Ingenious economy of
weights and a more powerful charge, behind
the same weight of bullet.
The net result of these charges Is a gain
of 300 feet per second in muzzle velocity of
the bullet, giving a total range of five miles
and power to penetrate half a dozen men In
line at one mile. Of course, nobody will
fire at men five miles off, the extreme sight
ing range being a little more than one mile.
But the high velocity gives a flatter trajec
tory: that is, the muzzle needs elevation.
At 1,000 yards range, the bullet of the new
rifle, will rise and fall before reaching the
target five feet less than that of the old
Krag. This flat vertical curve Is the largest
element in accuracy of Are, and is what all
nations are working for In army guns. The
German military rifle, heretofore considered
the best, has three feet more curve than
this.
This short, light gun will be served out to
cavalry as well as infantry, &r!t it is hoped
that the navy will adopt It aa well, so that
there will be only one arm in use through
out all the American forces.. This is not
only a great economy, but a great conven
ience in the supply of ammunition in time of
war. For riot purposes, this arm is to have
a "mob cartridge," which will propel two
round bullets only 200 yards, thus prevent
ing injury of distant bystanders. The
sooner the national guard get it the better.
neutral, unless Its own interests were af
fected. In which case It should stand for
those Interests. If ever, again, discrimina
tion between them, or among foreign powers
generally, were necessarily to be made, we do
not hesitate to say that It should be In favor
of those who speak our own tongue, who
have our own traditions and who are our
own flesh and blood. Apart from that, the
foreign policy of America should be for
America, and not necessarily for or against
any other land under the sun, and to hold
both Of r eat Britain and Russia, In the words
or tne .Declaration or independence, "as we
hold the rest of mankind, enemies In war, in
peace friends."
Their Eyss Are Opened.
(Pendleton East Oregonlan.)
The Oregon Dally Journal Is opening the
eyes of the people of Portland to the utter
rottenness of the government of that city in
the past, and it is safe to say that never be'
fore in the history of Portland were the
people so well Informed upon the inner
workings of the Portland rings, as now,
through the tireless efforts of this paper.
The old monopoly that has held the rein so
long and arbitrarily in the best city on the
Northwest Coast, has at last found that the
people are supreme, and will have Justice,
plain, honest dealings In public affairs, and
all the news on public questions, no matter
who it hurts.
Judges too often to such outside tasks.
let It go at that.
It Wss a Fake Goat
(Chicago Inter-Ocean.)
' "brethren. I salute you," declared Attor
ney Peter O. Raft, putting his left thumb be
hind hla ear and advancing with right hand
outatretched toward three fellow attorneys
In the rotunda of the Unity Building. The
three men wore Masonlo emblems. So did
Raff. '
"There Is light In the heavens," he con
tinued. Impressively, as he grabbed the -first
friend's hand.
"Whence came the three wise men?" he
demanded of the second.
. "What have we here?" he chirped to the
third, as he transferred the thumb from be
hind his ear to a coy position under his chin.
The three friends looked at each other
amazed.
"It's the heat," whispered one. i
'If he only would sla-n the nleda-e" whlsW
pered one who wore a white ribbon on hls
Masonic charm.
"Didn't I do It right V demanded the
abashed Raff. "You see I am a Mason now
and those are the pass words and grip."
' "Who made you a Mason?" demanded one
of the three, who were beginning to smile
broadly.
"Meyer Samson In Stelnhelmer's hall for
$10," explained Raff.
Then his friends kindly led him to the ele
vator, and In the privacy of his office told
him that he had been bunkoed.
Raff took off hla Maaonlc button and
started searching for a policeman.
A Puzzling Problem.
(Chicago Post.)
The man seemed to be very much excited.
"We've made a bet." he said, "on a ques
tion of law, and we've agreed to leave It to
you.
"I'll do the best I can to settle It," returned
the great lawyer, gratified by this evidence
of the opinion In which he was held. "What
Is the question of law?"
"Why, a $2 cat belonging to Brown ate a
$10 bird belonging to Jonee, and we want to
know who has legal title to the combination
of bird and cat."
A Little Off.
(Philadelphia Ledger.)
A local artist of note tells an amusing
story of his visit to an insane asylum in
this state. Spending as much time as he
could visiting an Inmate, he started down.
the stairs on his way to catch the train back
to the city.
At the foot of the stairs stood a large
clock. Taking out his watch to compare the
time, he found there was a difference of
several minutes. Turning to the doorkeeper,
a young Irishman, he Inquired if the. clock
was right.
"Right," said the doorkeeper. "Do you
think it would be here If it was right!"
Circumstantial Evidence
(Scottish American.)
The editions with the result of the great
Perth walk had been sold out, and the boys
were calculating their takings. "Hullo!"
said Jimmy, In alarm, "I'm 'a' penny short!"
"Well, what's the use of 'arpln' on it?"
growled Dick, as he calmly cracked a nut.
"You don't think I took it. do your "No, I
don't say you 'ave," said Jimmy, slowly; "I
It Is. I'm
Mr. Gorman as a Candidate.
(New York Tribune.)
Mr. Gorman's attitude Is as sagacious as
It is modest. If he is at heart a candidate
for the Democratic nomination he knows
that he could choose no time less suitable
than the jaresent for admitting it. Should
he, 11 months before the national convention
meets, begin to' push his canvass, he would
become-the target of a dozen rivals, each
anxious to carry off the nomination, but each
afraid to risk the enmities and frictions of
an open fight for It. The man who wins In
the next Democratic convention must win
by virtue of some sudden and overmastering
demonstration of availability of some fu
sion of elements at present scattered and
hostile and the time for that demonstra
tion and that fusion Is still far ahead.
To nominate Mr. Gorman for the presi
dency the Democratic party would have to
retrace its footsteps. It would have "to
break with the present to find new bridges
between the past and the future. It may
not have the capacity to transform Itself so
radically between now and 1904. But if it
is to cast away the destructive radicalism of
Aitgeld and Bryan and to recover its old
character as a useful and vigorous opposi
tion it could testify to its change of heart
and purpose in no way more conspicuously
than by choosing for Its next standard
bearer so capable and conservative a Demo
crat as Arthur P. Gorman.
'a'penny short, and you're a-eatlng nuts, yer
know!"
The Very Latest Eating Fad.
(New York Sun.)
"Munching" is a practice popular Just now
at Newport and other summer resorts. It
also has the recognition of the King of Eng
land. Munching is one of the numerous
preventives of extreme weight that appeal
to persons who want to lose flesh, but trg
unwilling to deprive themselves of lHe's
pleasures. Its theory is that every particle
of food must be chewed slowly and care
fully until no solid material remains to be
swallowed. Slow eating is merely carried to
an extreme by the new treatment
All London society threatened with too
much flesh Is said to be chewing very long
and very thoroughly and American converts
to the system are already numerous. Its
effect is said to be noticeable at dinners,
which have come to be known as munching
parties, and are much less vivacious than
they we,re when eating and drinking went on
rapidly. Persons who eat slowly also eat
much less than those who eat rapidly.
A New Cure-Ail.
(Hardeman Free Press.)
We have been at work on a preparation
that we hope will turn out all right. It has
been a dull time in a dry town, and we have
to become an Inventor to keep from going.
crazy. We have invented a combination
naiad dressing ana nair tonic wnicn lays
over anything that ever came down the pike.
It will cure baldness, and - it's a delicious
dressing for tomatoes, lettuce ' and cold
meats. Besides that, It is a good shoe pol
ish, and will remove grease spots from old
clothes, and Is the best tooth wash we ever
seen. Our fortune air made.
Refrain of Song of Powerful Guild.
(Barber's Journal.)
I'd rather lather father
Than have father lather me!
An Epiourean Cardinal.
(Rome Correspondence New York Times.)
One of the daily sights at the Vatican is
the arrival of the nun whom Cardinal Vas-
zary, Prince-Archbishop of Gran and Primate
of Hungary, brought with him from Hun
gary to act as his cook.
Cardinal Vaszafy is the wealthiest of the
cardinals, and is reputed to have an income
of $400,000 annually. He desired to have his
cook enter the conclave, but the presence of
women being forbidden by all the rules, he
arranged to have her cook his dinner outside
and bring it to the Vatican. She comes dally
In a cab escorted by two Hungarian soldiers
In uniform. , .
n's Mistake. - I
une.) I
, Tolstoi as a Westerner.
; (Washington Star.)
Tolstoi predicts the decline of liberty. If
Tolstoi hajl lived out West a few years
ago he would have been a Populist.
Now for Real Business. .
(Atlanta Journal.)
The germ that gives mosquitoes the stom
ach-ache having been discovered, It remains
for the scientists to find a cure for Insect
appendicitis.
The Man in the Moon'i
(Cincinnati Tribune.
The man in the moon got gay,
One day,
As he watched the dog-star bright.
And he said: "I think I will
Put a kink
In that saucy cur's tail tonight."
Then he reached across to the Milky Way
And borrowed the Milkman's can,
And made a grab for the dog-star's tall.
Oh, he was a humorous man!
-
But his sight was bad, and his aim,
They claim, ,
Was worse than his sight, for the Daft
He tried to tie to the star
Fought shy,
And caught on the comet's tall.
And then what a time they had, dear me,
The man In the moon sneaked back .
And hid, while the dog-star barked his joy
And the comet flew off the track.
It roared like a lion with rage,
In a cage,
And rushed straight out Into space,
And thrashed Its tail, to which
Hung the pall,
Till It pulled it half out of Us placet
And that's why the comet you see just no
Has a tall that seems. to be three;
For the can Is still on It, ths Big Bear says .
The Little Bear told this to me, . ; r