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About The Oregon daily journal. (Portland, Or.) 1902-1972 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 1902)
) I v. t :'' J- QUALIFIED. BEruania home the peaches. - . explains -PT. 1 ' Collect Trainer (to new an-iral) "Wtat makes you think you could play football r Texas Aspirant "Well, one I toll down In ft stampede and the herd ran ; over me." HE LOSES. Snlckersen "Bet there aia't Mother such looking object as you la emtio." Left" "I'll Uk you, old man, I'vo twin brother la KttiM City," BELIEF. - .J , . . -Mr . GrogjwVBur.. Mp' b what.. . . did yes do wit, yure dorgf ' Mlke-"Oa. bo war wort 110 end 01 kp' t'inkta' If some waa ea'd tale urn 01 eould 111 afford tit' loos, to 01 gave urn away, b'gorrs!" "Hum! They don't look bad. Quota "My! They're huge ones. I must til try a hall bushel, have got ft bushel by mistake! '"Say I Look at thooe whopper! Why, nice ala't biggera marbles, after elk "Still, t dnano. They do see pretty "What's that, Beliadat Bmall eaoeT heavy before yon j-et 'em hone. - Why. how yea talk!" Farmer "What yoa dola "la iay amckeboutoT" . , ' Ham Thief "Why, I wae Smfcota' by a 1 thought I'd e top la as have a , moke," . . $ " . i THIS JSnrW TKIATBtEaT. CHAna-IISH PJLBTXE3 WIIX THE KAOB. Alaernon "IX I eould get her father out of the office for minute I'd be all right. Hal He a a crank on deport negt. I'll fry the book-ageat gag! "Say. waator bay this book? Ife a holly one, V EPECI7IC eBawpweejawBeaeB" ,..:-, n !'T''- 5'W'-Vk,T': PXTESTJIT 07 BCTEITCB. 1S1 He"Ia my firet football game I wat knocked ellly." . q . 6he "Ah, I eee. , And yon never cot aver It!" . ' DEAR GIRLS. ' - Prof. BulbeqnlBter "How taterettlagl A epeclaaea of the goewhlnkue dufllckua or eoxaawa - . Om way defy fce eeal fanalae thle wlmter, IW THB SOUTHWEST. , , Ba. -r "Have a hair cut. elrr Customer "Yea, sir, I will have a hair out. la fact I will have all my hair eat" BEADY TO TUT FOB XT. ' Painter "And had I hut the Inspira tion, knave, I oould e'ea paint a ma terpieeel" EervaoWAll right, Vl get you some. Do they sell it eanaed or la bulk?" rOBEION XXETAXrOB. the ftortfty vrttnmt rabbbrh afle la M baei ymr4 li getting to be a ant Leocheaded Bahewd-An rleht well export If , " Mr, PeLuxe "Sir! That'e no way to ell hooka. Glume your hat' and I'll how you bow to eater an office prop Algernon "Deareat one, I've locked him outl Say that you'll be mine la (plte of ft ffttber'a objection! "Be calm. Mr. DeLoxe. At teat your daughter has accepted my band. Bleat ua or I'll ad Teniae you aa an easy mark." . SARD CASE. 1 Fauer-By (during dry aeaeon) "That cow lobka ae U be needed water. Why don't you give her more?" Farmer Grlpatuff " 'Cauae If I wasted water oa the cow I wouldn't have enough to put In the milk." EFFECTS OF CIVILIZATION. Big Chief "Ught Smoke 'urn pipe peace, ugh?" Traveling PollUclan-"Tbanka, but look here I "Never mind the pipe. Lot's have ft cigar all around." Tribe-"Ugh!" Bred dab gph "Wot Be ehahge agla i aaw oreachahr Code Mose "Heresy, man! He done let or potau Data wot!" ay dat er poaeum aln' BtUa (oh to OftC HOT TBLaJTS tOV.M Turn! Tumi YmF ' " ( 4 ay P Big Chief "Say, are these eampslga elgarar Polltlclaa "IM Be rie to explain. My eommlttee , ' , t ..I, Ikfitz 'wkr' VOL. JACKSON'S EIVZNQE. 7 Mr. Johnaing (la auto) "Keep away, dah! Whafo ys want me to crowd yo' off do road, heyf" Edythe "Oh, It's grand! The stars are beautiful!" BthyUtWOh, tot me see, tool" l e "Aht A freasled aovtaet rm afraid I shall have to drop aome of my sand TDey coin' to b trouble beabl X kin feel it leomlta Mr. Jaokeon (la hacVground) "Who was dat taikta rbout erowdln' me off'a do road, huhT P'raps yo' oaa toll whea yo done gained yo' senses, Miitah Johnaing!" PBOTTT AND LOSS. Downy Dobbins "Ha, looked up, heyf JTelL X guess . w aujuvuuaa vra ae note. - KtYfy it & i i i Y I I 1 V. MmlB Curator -"Bxcuse me, ladies, If you ' will wait moment I will take the cap off the telescope . ,WBBE HE GOT OFF. "And let my patent oranlal h&nooa parry me out of haxm'i way tor the SBOineot; First Horaethief "What you pinched fur stealla' champeen trotter T" Second Horsethlet "Naw; wlsht It was. I itole a automobile end couldn't get three mile an hour outer the ma chine." . - 1 ..n , . , CHANGED HIS KIND. t'Although (t seems a pity that the pursuit of science should be Inter rupted even for a moment" . HE SSBVED. " -Dere's t good oot oa wall an TU fcso otr wlf no wmbret Friend "How yer llke'yer Job, BI11T" Bill "Bully, aa' I'm a-golo' to sUy right Lady "Ten say you served through the paaleh war. Wag It la Cvbaf" - Tramp 'No, mum. In sUts prlsoa. Me sentence happened to bo going oa at dat time." . y .- - nXTSEING THE CAN. V, - i-eJDSMo1 rasa - ft- ft" L . J" ' r f i. 4 7