The morning Astorian., September 29, 1908, Page 3, Image 3

TUESDAY, SEPT. 29
THE MORNING ASTOMAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
0
I
The King's I i
English; I
Hy Gtori M. A, Cain. X
' J Copyrighted, Unl bjr AMoelntod T
, , Lllornry l'ress. J
Time was when Nellie Mora enjoyed
two distinctions above the other pretty
gtils who wild everything conceivable
from the counturi of the big store on
Slxtb nveuiie. ' The first of those dis
tinctions wit (tint of being the clever
est mnnlpiitfitor of the latest slang.
Tlio second wn tlmt of being Michael
Mnlouey's "sternly company."
When Mike Imd arrived from the
Emerald Islo and had been made
clerk In tbo branch of the Araalga
mated Ten Stores company all on the
nine day be had been enslly porauad
' ed by some friends who bad preceded
him Into the land of freedom to attend
dunce of the Moonlight Athletic as
sociation In the evening. There Nellie
had oeen him and, seeing, bad been-
,woll. Impressed.
"Who's the new barpr she bad
asked with well disguised Intercut,
whereupon she was duly presented to
"Mr. Muloney, Just over from Dut
lln."
Perhaps It was the unconventlonsll
ty of her converaatlon that attracted
tbo young Irlahmnn from the start.
y lYrlmp It was her fresh, young beau
ty. I'urbnps It was the anap and go
that marked all alio aald and did.
At all event, Mike and Nellie were
"ateadiiw" from thnt evening forth.
In another venae Michael Maloney
waa na stonily a young man a ever
became a citizen of New York, and
when bo wis promoted to the position
of twins gtr In the branch atore being
hla aweethenrt became a real dlstlnc
tloo for Nellie.
Hut shortly after Mlehael'a promo
tion Nellie acquired a new distinction
which entirely, eclipsed one of ber old
onen and certainly went far toward
finishing the other. It all began Inno
cently cnmiKti. No ono would bave
suspected the results when ahe lKr
rowed one of her , favorite author'e
novels. , There was no sign of danger
until she bad got well on toward the
end of the book.
la fact, at the middle of the second
page tbo girl Imd handed the volume
back to Its owner, with the comment,
" "I can't dojw out this talk." But the
other hud urged iKWveraiiee, assuring
Nellie tlmt sho would get used to the
"swell guy talk" of the story and that
the tnlo Itwlf was "somepun grand." '
And, sure enough, nt pnge 223 Nellie
waa shedding real tears over tbo sor
rows of the heroine. She nearly forgot
to wait on customers, so absorbed bod
she become, The worst of It was that
he bad become fascinated with the
"swell guy talk" Itself. At the end of
the book she bcgiiu anew to study the
lofty phrases of the empty conversa
tions, for she bad been converted to
the Idea that really nice people used
thnt sort of lungmigo Instead of the
very lucid style of her post colloquies.
fho Instituted a process of self refor
mation, fihe suddenly forsook the
dnnces of the Moonlight Athletes. Sue
went to night school classes In Eng
lish. She attended lectures on English
at the settlement house. Her progress
in tbo Improvement of her conversa
tlonal style was a thing to delight the
boarts of the settlement workers.
In two weeks she bad got so far thnt
Instead of remarking that It was a
"swell day" she Imparted to Mamie
McDonnell that "the sun bids fair to
bed bis Illuminating rays nnlmpeded
by nebular obstacles."
Mnmto promptly admonished ber to
"como off tbe foof." One by one her
old friends forsook ber and left her
to tbo society of pocket dictionary
one! grammar and more of ber au
thor. Her little brothers and sinters
took to spending their evenings on tbe
sidewalk beyond her correcting Influ
enceand palm. ,
Her father and mother openly sighed
In relief when sho sallied forth to at
tend ber classes. But all these things
only added wjst to her earnestness by
giving It a flavor of martyrdom. She
had tbo makings of a real reformer.
It was when she undertook to re
form Michael that sho waded In the
waters of real sacrifice to principle.
Michael did not yet know bow to wield
the east side slang, but he bad a
brogue that could bo cut only with an
ax, and that brogue was Incompatible
with Nellie's new Ideas of the refine
ment thnt must mark her future borne.
At first she explained ber lofty am
bitions to ber lover. IIo assented rath
er vaguely to the proposition. Ho even
agreed to help her upward move, but
his Interest begnn to languish when
ho corrected his pronunciations.
For awhile he would repeat his
words a second time with solemn ear
nestness. Then he merely said "all
right" to ber interruptions of his dis
quisitions and weut on with what he
was saying. IIo was hard bit by Cu
pid's urrows and was willing to stand
for a good deal. . ,
But on tlio evening when ho hnd
screwed up bis coiirnp3 to tlio point of
asking that their relation5- ns "stend?
company" be chnngc-d to t'.int of n rea;
betrothal, h spite of Ijjv ml-.iglvln.er
nbout tbo recent changes In her nuke
up, sho m.ule n fntnl mlsfn!:o. .
"Don't call me 'swntchenr-rt ' " slv
said petulantly. "It a'jeeM ie ;?
nounced 'sweetheart.' " Ills whole dec
larntlon of unbounded l"v fm.l l'""
given In languogo very different fion
that of similar declarations In tin
works of her favorite, nnd sho felt din
appointed. '
Ills response to her correction must
have been even more disappointing.
The brief expletive used was more en
lightening to Nellie than any othei
words could bave been. It showed her
that In her beautiful programme of
home refinement, of polite conversa
tion, of high thinking and speaking,
Michael Maloney was lncapnblo of tak
ing n part, i ?; . , ,
Promptly she explained to him that
sho felt convinced that future years
would find them happier for avoid
ing the error of continued friendship.
Tbo venture of matrimony would be
perilous whore dispositions were so
widely at variance. Bus hoped that be
would remember ber she would re
member him, etc. Bbe had r good
deal of her author by heart.
From all of which Michael gathered
that be was being turned down. lie
walked away, bis big shoulders stoop
ed, his red locks drooped over his frec
kled face. And Nellio walked tbe other
way, her back very straight, her "Merry
Widow" hat very high over her eyes,
which showed a strong suspicion of
moisture. ;t' ,,' ,;-
No more did she suggest to her" moth
er that sho needed exercise. when she
came home In time to bear one of tbe
younger Mores being sent on an er
rand to the tea store, r
' No more did she strive at that em
porium of close priced groceries Just at
tbo hour of closing. No more did she
Walk tbe shaded bowers of Btuyvesant
square leaning upon Michael Moloney's
manly arm, not for a whiter Sho spent
still greater amount of ber spare time
at tbe settlement house, Improving her
English, for awhile.
It was one Saturday afternoon In
July that she sat In front seat In the
lecture ball of tbe Institution for tbe
Improvement of herself and other Nel
lie Mores. A very famous authority
bid condescended to speak to tbe chil
dren of tbe slums, and up to one re
mark Nellie sat very erect and tried to
look wise and not wish she was down
at Couey Island with Michael Maloney.
After the making of that remark
Nellie sot rotber limp, looked toward
the! door pnd wished she were away
almost anywhere. Tbe great authority
bad stated distinctly that "tbe very
best English spoken In the world Is
that of Dublin, Ireland." -
Willi the directness of the American
girl tinder such circumstances, she
made her way boldly to the tea store
Just nt tbe time when tbe clerks had
gone home and Mike was there finish
ing up. Bbe Invested In a can of corn.
Then she asked Michael If be would
accompany, ber home.
As soon as they were started she be
gan her apology. "Michael, It Is my
desire to request your pardon for my
own grievous errors as to your use of
English. I have learned today for the
first time that the Inhabitants of the
city of Dublin are tbe best examples
of tbo correct usage of your mother
tongue."
"Is that sor asked Michael, the
hopeful look fading, then swiftly re
turning ss be looked at her. "I nlv
ver gave much thought to the quls
tlon. There Is another mattber ss is
worrltln' me a lot more. (Will ye mar
ry me, Nellie More?"
"Tea, Michael." She still held out
for tbe full name.
It was somewhere near Fort Wads
worth that he pressed her little hand
to his lips for the twentieth time as
they snt la s secluded corner of the
Coney Island steamboat It was
bout the same place that he ventured
to risk tbe truth.
"Nellio, mo darllnt, maybe ye won't
be takln' mo afther all. But 01 cud
den't be lying to ye. 01 nlvver saw
Dublin In all me life. Sure, 01 come
from Cork."
Nellie did not withdraw ber hand.
She gave the first real hearty laugh
that had passed her Hps In months.
"Aw, quit yer klddln'," she said
gayly. "I've got troubles of my own
thinkln' what a dub I've been. Why,
Mike, I'd love you if you was a Dutch
man." The Empty Chair. '
It was a sale of wild animals, and a
handsome tiger bad Just been knocked
down to tbe highest bidder, a stranger.
Tho late owner of the circus sidled
up to him.
"Are you starting a show?" he asked.
"No," was tho answer.
"Bought the tiger for some one, 1
s'pose?"
"Yes, for myself."
The showman glanced reflectively at
the tiger and then at its purchaser.
"Now, young man," he aald, "you
needn't take this tiger If you don't
want to. There are plenty here who
will take It off your hands. Surely
you don't want a brute like that?"
' "But I do," said tbe, young man
quietly. "You see," he added' by way
of explanation, "my dear mother-in-law
has lived with us for ten years.
A fortnight ago she left us forever,
and-and I miss her." lie paused to
steady his voice. "So I've bought the
tiger," ho sold.
"I understand," said the showman.
"Say no more." And he turned away
to hide bis emotion. London Scraps.
Put Into Praotlct.
Boor Fattlson went into the chemist's
shop for some plaster for bis head.
"I've always tried to bring up my chil
dren to think before they speak," he
said, with a Blgh, "but I am con
vinced it is a wrong principle."
"Surely not, sir," answered the chem
ist sympathetically.
"Yes, sir," Battison replied. "I've
told my children always to count ten
before they say anything. This morn
ing I went out for a walk with my
eldest boy. We were walking near
some partially built houses when Tom
called out, 'Oh, father' '
" 'Now, steady, my boy.' I said, see
ing he was excited; 'count ten.' "
"Did he obey you?"
"Yes,.worso luck, he did, but before
he had got to five tbe brick he had
seen falling bit me on the head, Thank
you. How much?"-London Mall.
AN UGLY EXPERIENCE.
Man And Octopus Have A Tremen-
' dous Encounter.
$AN FRANCISCO. Sept. 28
Wrapped In the tentacles of a giant
devil fish, Martin Lund, a diver em
ployed by the Coast Wrecking Com
pany, fought for his life In t. a hold
of the wrecked steamer Pomona,
which lies in thirty feet of water in
Fort Ross Cove, off the Marin Coun
ty Coast. Lund arrived in this city
yesterday after an experience such as
comes to few men, and he will enjoy
a vacation before again donning div
ers' dress.
The devil fish had evidently enter
ed the vessel's hold during the nigh,
and Lund was at work some time be
fore he became aware of its presence.
A giant tentacle, four Inches in di
ameter, first gripped one leg. Before
Lund could realize what had happen
ed another encircled his thigh. The
diver began to chop frantically at the
rubber-like bonds and at the same
time signalled to the barge above that
he wished to ascend. Unable to free
himself in due time, more tentacles
squirmed out of the darkness and one
tightened about his neck. The ef
forts of the men on the surface to
comply with his signal threatened to
pull his helmet off and he was forced
to signal them to desist. With only
bis left arm free he hacked at the
tentacles until they were, partially
crippled, but he was being drawn to
ward the deadly beak when he saw
the outline of the devil fish's body.
Plunging suddenly toward it he drove
the knife with all his force into the
head, repeating the blow until heTiad
slashed it into sections. In its death
throes the octupus tightened its ten
tacles until the diver was almost
crushed in its embrace. Lund then
cut himself free and was brought to
the surface in a fainting condition.
Another diver brought some of the
severed tentacles to the surface and it
is hoped to rare the body and bring
it to this city for exhibition.
How to Avoid Appendicitis.
Most victims' of appendicitis are
those who are habitually constipated,
Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup cures
chronic constipation by stimulating
the liver and bowels, and restores the
natural action of the bowels. Orino
Laxative Fruit Syrup does not nau
seate or gripe and is mild and pleas
ant to take. Refuse sugstitutes. T. F.
Laurin, Owl Drug Store.
Of Interest To Many.
Foley's Bladder Cure will cure any
case of kidney or bladder trouble that
is not beyond the reach' of medicine.
No medicine can do more. T. F.
Laurin, Owl Drug Store.
The New Pure Food and Drug Law
We arc pleased to announce that
Folcy'slloney and Tar for coughs,
colds and lung troubles is not affect
ed by the National Pure Food and
Drug Law as it contains no opiates
or other harmful drugs, and we re
commend it as a safe remedy for
children and adults.
"ISLE OF SPICE."
"The "Isle of Spice" which is the
offering at the Astoria Theatre, Fri
day, October 2, was, during the New
York, Chicago and Boston runs, apt
ly described by the press as a dream
of color. The scene of the play is
laid on an island in the Japan Sea,
which gives ample opportunity for
lavish scenic surroundings and which
arc depicted in all their Oriental
splendor. Asa spectacle alone the
production is said to be a marvel, but
aside from this there are many fea
tures to make it a notable achieve
ment in the art of play producing.
With its wealth of song hits, interest
ing story, gwect singing and clever
dancing, it has enjoyed more liberal
patronage than almost any produc
tion of high-class comedy at present
before the public. The cast is re
ported to be unusually strong and is
headed by that clever comedian, Sam
Rose, and the well known prima
donna, Roberta Wilson. They are
ably supported by such favorites as
Harry La Velle, Harry Watson, Rob
ert Wilson, Harry Williams, Percy
Bacon, Marie - Watson; Lorette
Broadwell, and many others equally
well known and popular in the' field
of musical comedy of the highest
class.
THE "WILD SCOTCHMAN."
Arrival In San Francisco Of One Of
Stevenson's Characters.
SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 28.-Af-ter
a quarter of a century spent in
voluntary exile in the South "Seas.
Thomas Fleming, the original of Ste
venson's character "The Wild Scotch
man," arrived here yesterday on the
schooner Aeolusand to-day, arrayed
ASUMM
I'll mil II mi milllin I. .il.ir I i . n m i i II 11
If there i any one thing that a
woman dreads more than another it
U a surgical operation.
We can state without fear of a
contradiction that there are , htm
dreds, yes, thousands, of operations
performed upon women In our htm
pitala which are entirely unneces
sary and many hare been avoided by
LYDIA & PINKHAI7TS
VEGETABLE COMPOUND
For proof of this statement read
the following letters, i m .....,
i Mrs. Barbara Base, of Kingman,
Kansas, writes to Mrs. Pinkham:
M For eight years I suffered from the
Boost severe form of female troubles and
was told that an operation was my only
hope of recovery. I wrote Mrs. Pinkham
for advice, and took Lydia E. Pi&kbsm's
Vegetable compound, ana it mm uvea
say life and made me a well woman."
Mrs. Arthur 1L Ilouse, of Church
Road. Moorestown. N. J writes :
" I feel it is my duty to lei people
know what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege
table Compound has done lor me. 1
suffered from female troubles, and last
March my physician decided that an
operation was necessary. My husband
objected, and urged me to try Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
and to-day I am well and strong."
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.
For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands of
women who have Iwen troubled with
d ;sp!aeement8, inflammation-ulce ra
tion, fibroid tumors, irregularities,
pet iodic pains, and baclcache.
Mrs. Pinkhnm invites all ftfclt
Hitman to write her for od vice.
l lins pnided thousand.1, t
flti. 4llresft. Lynn. Mas.
in garments of a fashion, he has
scarcely seen before, he proceeded to
get acquainted with electric cars and
othr evidence of an advancing civili
zation. Fleming is a trading agent at Arme
Island, one of the Marshall Group,
located ISO miles from the nearest
white neighbor. When a boy of IS
he left his home in Paisley, Scotland,
to sail the seas, the eventually he set
tled at Arme, where he has remained
for 25 years. He made the ac
quaintance of Robert Louis Stevenson
years ago when the author visited the
island.
Fleming is accompanied by his wife.
He has announced his determination
to return when he shall have tired of
sight seeing saying:
"Perhaps the life out there is lonely
but somehow it gets into a man's
blood and he stays there."
Subscribe to The Morning Astorian
60 cents per month. Contains full
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Got Fulf Weight.
"Sir," says the aggrieved customer
approaching the bookseller. "I bav4
called to express my opinion of yom
business methods."
"What la wrong?" deferentially ask
ed the bookseller.
"1 bought a set of Shakespeare froui
you last year. It weighed fourteen
pounds. Yesterday I ordered a dupli
cate set for my. Bon's library, and It
ouly weighs thirteen pounds and nine
ounces. I'd have you understand, sir.
that there Is a city ordinance against
short weights"
Thoroughly humbled, the bookseller
made up the shortage with seven
ounces of miscellany. Exchange.
Elixirsf Senna
acts geatlyyet prompt
ly on the bowels, cleanses
me system ejjectually,
assist one in overcoming
habitual constipation
permanently. To get its
beneficial effects buy
enume.
lanufacWea1 by the
'ORNIA
FlcSraup Co.
souwkmiiwcsts&m praam!:
yrup.fpgs
3k
fa
The d
f
CALIF
1 1
A SUMMEE DEIIK
Unfermented Grape Juice
absolutely - non-alcoholic
Concord.............5oc quart
Catawba Goc quart
Welch's Grape Juice
Nips.............'..... 10c
AMERICAN IMPORTING CO.
f h f h ? f 589 Commercial Street
MMIIItMtMiUHMHHItttMIMMtHMmM
First-Class Liquors' jaridGCigars 1
" ' 102 Commercial Street
Corner Commercial and 14th.
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FREE TRIAL-AN
Saves backs, footsteps, blistered fingers, and faces fuel
and tempers.
You feel no electricity attach tc any incan
descent socket low expense would sur
prise you let us explain to YOU.
ASTORIA ELECTRIC CO.
You want the best money can buy in food, clothing, home comforts,
pleasures, etc., why not in education? ' '
, J ' J Portland's Leading Business College "
offers such to you and at no greater cost than a'n inferior school.
Owners practical teachers More Calk than we can fill
Teachers actual business men In session the entire year
Positions guaranteed graduates Catalogue "A" for the asking
I. M. WALKER, Pres. , tV 0, A, B055FP"W, Secy.
Sherman Transfer Co.
- - HSNRY SHERMAN, Manager.
Hacks, Carriages Baggage Checked and Transferred Tracks and Furairsxs
Wagons Pianos Moved, Boxed and Shipped.
433 Commercial Street ' - Main Pkotw J
STEEL & EWART
Electrical Contractors
Phone Main 3881 .... 426SBondStreet
MM 1 60 YEARS'
FY DPR! FN CP
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r'Wt1 ' Copyrights &c.
'' Anon nendlng x skelf h mid dicrliitlnn raar
qutoklr ascertain our opinion free wliaiher kj
invention la pmhnbl pntcnmMo. CoiviiiiunK'n.
tlonimrtotly oonfldeiiMiil. HANDBOOK I'ateuu
lent f me. Oldaat ncem'y fur secunntT uiuents.
Patents taken tlironirli Munu S, to. reeal,
ytcutl mtkt, without ennrue, lu the
Scientific Jlmericaii.,
A oandiomelr lllntrtrated weMr. I.Test clr ,
lulatlon ot any denude Journal, 1 erina, 3 . '
lent: f nur montha, Si. Sola brail newsdealer
Branch OOloe. 8 F Bt Washington. D. C- ,
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